


Spark

by kvbelleza



Series: Doom Driven [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Guilt fest from everyone, Kaidan is soft sometimes, LDB is Jack of All Trades and Master of Self Depreciation, LDB is a super chill bro while Kaidan loses his mind over everyone being a troll, Mod related mentions, Moral Dilemmas, Nightblade type of rogue so Thieves Guild is where we fall, Pre-Main Quest story, Slow burn to infinity and beyond, Sometimes they're all just idiots, Sometimes they're effective, Team as Family, The other three are platonic relationships, Warning: the author might be the only one actually enjoying this circus, Why is everyone a disaster lmao, and it is not even half funny, rip sanity, the only thing laughable here is the author's attempt at humor lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2020-09-27 00:10:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 60
Words: 277,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20398456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kvbelleza/pseuds/kvbelleza
Summary: Glory, fame, and riches comes at a price. You're not willing to pay but they didn't say you get to choose. Right and wrong hardly matters when you are the chosen one.Chosen by the Gods. To be what, a champion, a fool, a slave? For what reason are you carrying a title of a hero when all you ever achieved is cause the death of your loved ones. To kill people you do not hate, to have your memories haunted by guilt, to pick between the greater good and your personal interests.If only a simple act of running away can free you from destiny's grasp.All of these you'll rediscover when you wake up in a Thalmor prison. No memories, no answers, no one to ask for help. No one but a swordsman in the brink of death.





	1. Dedicated for Mod List

**Author's Note:**

> (JULY 2020) My first attempt at any kind of fanfic. And let me tell you, I am so moved by how well this story has been received by the fandom—THANK YOU SO MUCH and saying that wouldn't even suffice to how overwhelmed I feel. ::>_<::
> 
> I have a very long list planned for this series and this is just the first. I always hope everyone is still here until the end and if not, it has always been great to have brought you some entertainment! ☆ヘ(^_^ヘ)
> 
> Again, thank you thousands and thousands, I don't even know how I earned this many viewers. I'll always do my best to improve so feel free to drop me some tips, helpful and friendly advices! I'd be delighted to get your opinion even if I may not be able to reply on each one! (I try, though ヾ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉﾞ)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can discuss mods I use here or refer to and some other stuff outside the story as well :) Not part of the plot but decided to dedicate a chapter for it so as to not clutter the end notes :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated: June 26, 2020

**HELLO! THIS IS THE DEDICATED MOD LIST.**

**THIS PORTION WILL ALWAYS BE THE FIRST CHAPTER SO YOU CAN CHECK FOR CHANGES!**

**^___^**

I do love spending time to write even if I'm not that good. :) I just find it therapeutic among other things. If I'm slow in publishing I must ask for forgiveness. I'm only able to write the story during my free time in my job. I mostly use phone and only use PC when I'm about to publish a chapter. hehe :)

ALSO I know the summary and tags are like in the Quagmire but the story is still the same, I promise (;ω;). Fully voiced follower mod army is still there as secondary protagonists. Check out this chapter for updated details!

* * *

**Mod list so far (confirmed to join/is already in there)**

**Follower mods:**

\- Kaidan 2 (Chapter 002)

\- Inigo (Chapter 013)

\- Rumarin (From Interesting NPCs mod) (Chapter 016)

\- Auri (Song of the Green) (Chapter 020)

\- Lucien Flavius (Chapter 022)

\- (◍ ˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)???

***Everyone that follows are still part of Team Dragonborn but unlike the names above, they don't always follow around wherever the MC goes. Changes are possible.***

\- Vilja

\- Gorr (From Interesting NPCs mod)

\- Hjoromir (From Interesting NPCs mod)

\- Arissa

\- Anum-La (From Interesting NPCs mod)

\- Zora Fair-Child (From Interesting NPCs mod)

\- Clara Goldspirit

**Side Characters found in mods:**

\- 3DNPCs/Interesting NPCs (Like I said, I haven't ran through with them all but I like how it populates my Skyrim without me having to think up OC names) (P.S. I don't wanna add OCs other than the LDB **as much as possible** hehe)

\- Anna NPCs (I'm still undecided if they'll be in the LDB party. Probably not since Anna NPCs shines best when they are THE team you travel with because of their intentional banters. But I really like to keep them around for future encounters.)

* * *

**Immersion and gameplay mods:**

\- Campfire

\- Frostfall

\- Diseased - diseases system overhaul

\- Hunterborn

\- Holidays at Skyrim (This also helps me keep tabs on how much time has gone by from chapter to chapter, bc I have bad memory. IT IS NOT DUE TO SKOOMA I ASSURE YOU FRIENDS)

\- Andromeda - Standing Stones of Skyrim

\- Spell Research

\- Forgotten Magic Redone (bc having too many spells in this story would be ridiculous, I'll just make it appear that they're improving and mixing it through -spell research- like a normal mage lore-wise would)

\- Thunderchild

\- Vigor Combat and Injuries

\- The Notice Board

\- Thieves’ Guild for good guys

\- Dark Brotherhood for good guys (¿) (BC I just met Griffith from 3DNPC and now I'm torn. Will think about this thoroughly.)

* * *

**Landscape and Player Home mods:**

\- Aspens to Cherry blossoms

\- Legendary Cities TES Arena Skyrim (Uhhh might slightly refer to this bc I don't want to believe Skyrim is that empty)

\- Towns and Villages enhanced (If you're not using JK's this can be good, too)

\- JK's Cities

\- Lanterns of Skyrim

\- Wonders of Weather

\- The Scarlett - A Buildable Ship

\- Lakeview Manor Evolution

\- Goldenglow Estate is yours! (There's a mod allowing you ownership over Goldenglow)


	2. Blank Slate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Abandoned Prison... Which is not that very abandoned ever since it became an all out Thalmor Outpost. It's been upgraded to having a basement floor which connects both to the main tower and prison area. Of course the renovation adds several barracks for mages and soldiers, expands the dungeon area, adding more prisoners and cells. Very Dominion, right? All that and an old throne for you to occupy.
> 
> Live Another Life, yes?

**001**

**Blank Slate**

The candles on the chandelier flicker as it gently dances with the soft breeze entering the room. Casting your eyes downward, you can tell there's a barred window not far behind you as moonlight passes through it and you sit there, tracing the shadow it creates in front of you. _‘Must be a really big chair. Or it's just the angle of the moon.’_ You thought idly to yourself when all you can trace is a rectangular figure draping down the few steps that elevated your chair. _‘Or throne. This is definitely a throne.’_ You quickly follow up. You let out a chuckle only to feel how dried up your throat is and wondered when the last time you had a drink was. It already feels like an eternity just staring at nothing before it dawned to you that you don't recall anything that happened prior to this moment. Your body feels like it's been numb for a long time and your memory is as blank as you feel right now.

Very slowly, you depart your gaze from your bare feet and let it wander around the darker parts of the room. Whether it was to try and adjust your vision or forcefully trigger any sort of memory, it barely made a difference. Finally, it rests on the spot at the end of the room, where a pair of Thalmor Wizards seemed to be in a discussion, their backs turned on you.

  
“_Permission _you say? You were given permission to test these on prisoners we've finished interrogating. This one just came in from the latest and is still under questioning along with the other.” Scolded the first one and you try to focus your attention to them.

“I-.. I did not know that, Cyrelian. I swear.” The other one wasn't cowering; he was just smaller than the other. But the panic in his voice confirmed the mistake on his part. “I thought you only needed the Blades agent and it said in this report that there's t—”

“_Three_. One is being transferred here and the other two prisoners are being brought in _together_, you idiot. We could have already obtained useful information from one of them by now if only you just read more carefully and gave her the standard one instead of that experiment which you should've saved for that filthy, Talos-worshiping dog we caught.” The taller wizard called Cyrelian sharply rebuked.

Even with their backs facing you, you could see, or to be exact, clearly picture him as he brought up a hand to his face out of sheer exhaustion from this conversation. “Jephre’s Bones, go on.” He finally sighed. “Try and see what you could do with this one. If it's useless then you can use her for tests however you see fit but send me a report beforehand.”

  
How you knew what they are at first glance gave your disoriented mind a bit of a shock but it was easily overcome by another emotion—_anger_. The very shape of those robes makes your blood boil and something inside of you screams of wanting to get even, like they've stolen an important thing from you. _Did they?_

You lean your body forward, and the amount of effort it takes you to do so makes you reconsider for a second if you've really regained consciousness or is this all but a dream. Once more, you attempt to pull yourself up until you feel something cold as ice dig into your bare arms and chest, stopping you from further movements. Furious, you catch your breath and gather up every bit of strength you can to break free of your chains. The act was obviously in vain as it only caused you to learn the hard way how weak and battered your body is. Your thigh starts to sting quickly and you see blood slowly spreading through your ragged clothes, indicating a wound must have opened with your struggle.

  
The clinking of metals easily caught the attention of the two mages and they turn around; Cyrelian taking a defensive stance.

“Oh no need for that.” Says the short mage, “Like I've already assured you, this reformulated version of Isael's spell not only conceals the memory but also their ability to tap into magicka.” He explained, as they start to walk towards you.

  
“Who...?” You managed that much before you start coughing up, “Why am.. I..? Where's this...?” You could barely finish a word with how dry your voice is.

  
“See it works! Thank the stars!” Shorty delightfully remarked. They stopped a few feet away from your throne. “Did you know we had to keep wasting premium potions to prevent you from using your cheap tricks and spells? Now we can finally save resources thanks to my genius.” This talker definitely reveled in the state you're in. Or is it the result of his work? You really couldn’t tell.

He leaned towards you with a mocking grin. “She couldn't even cast her flames right now and her hands have been free of binds ever since she was moved here. She doesn't remember anything!”

Cyrelian, with the permanent scowl in his face, just shook his head in disappointment, “Which is why exactly I've been sent here to endure your blabbering.” He said, raising his voice. “We need information about the Blades she could possibly have—which you sealed away as well!”

You wonder how much longer he can keep his cool with this idiot by his side.

“Of-.. Of course! Yes.. Just give me until tomorrow. I'm sure I can bring back her memories and mix a potion to make her comply. She'll willingly give us information in no time.” He assured the other.

Cyrelian didn't appear pleased with it but was way past done with this chatter box so he nodded and excused himself to tend to the other one.

  
With the grumpy one gone, the other mage started approaching you with a small journal that he took out of his robes. He scribbled some more and paused, examining your condition, never knowing you're examining him as well.

_‘This buffoon is less cautious and more curious. Definitely a scientist more than a fighter.’_ Exhaustion easily sets in you, making you break the eye contact first as you hung your head low. Finally, he places the journal on a table not far from you and went back moments later with a glass of liquid.

  
“My spell effectively locked your memories and magical abilities. To your perspective, we might as well be just meeting for the first time. But you don't need to know my name.” Gods, his voice. No wonder that Cyrelian fellow wore such an expression the whole time he was talking with this one. He continued to ramble on for the next minute on how he came to successfully fusing two different spells and something about using two words to unlock it due to his research still undergoing progress, completely losing you upon mentioning “The Great Aldmeri Dominion”. _‘Torture might be better than this—wait. Is this torture already?’_

  
He offered for you to drink. “I'm your master. You will address me as such. I'm in charge of you, so I expect you'll be more obedient this time.”

“The... Hell is.. This?” You coughed out most of those but you managed. Your master, as he'd like to be addressed, simply gestured for you to accept it. “You're parched. We'll be talking from this point onward so I want you to drink. I won't ask again.”

You know you shouldn't but he's right. The urge to quench your thirst grows too heavy to resist and you're soon gulping down to the last drop whatever it is inside the cup he holds. You finish it in mere seconds and while you relish the fresh wave of comfort it brings, the mage has already dragged with him a table filled with journals and what looked like small bottles of potions.

  
“We'll start. Do you know who you are?” He said, picking up his notebook once more, ready to write. “What? What's in that dri—... No.. No I-I don't.” _‘What did he do? There must be something in that drink.’_ You thought as panic seeps into you. “What do you know about your past?”

“Nothing!”

“Do you know the man you were brought with?”

“Y-... No.” Even a quick attempt to lie is fruitless and it’s the confirmation you need to know that you’ve been subjected to some kind of mind control. He continued to provide you with a series of questions and the way you immediately respond to it makes you sick. Your mind is still yours but you find yourself unable to deny him of answers, much to your horror. He won’t be getting information from you, not when you don’t remember anything so it’s most likely he’s just performing some light test. Even still, you wish you would have put up some more fight to it. As if your pleas have been heard, he stops, satisfaction plastered on his face.

  
“This potion is expensive, even for us,” he rolls a tiny vial between his fingers “and we only use it when we’re sure it’s needed. You’ve caused too much trouble but obviously, the information you have is too good for you to take to the grave. You might or might not hold the information we want but seeing your affiliation with the Thieves Guild will certainly grant us useful ones.” The mage casually reveals. “A declining guild like that will still hold useful contacts. Securing their survival in exchange of information when needed will prove to have mutual benefits. Once I’m done with you and my superior knows about this success, they’ll surely grant me more resources for my projects.”

  
_‘Thieves Guild? What's he talking about?’_

  
And he continues, “The potion's effectivity depends on the amount of consumption. I assume you'll be out of it any time now.” He says, changing the topic. “The water I gave you had a drop or two in it. Just imagine the effect of a pure solution.” His wicked smirk grows wide as he admires the liquid inside the small bottle he wore around his neck. “Ah, but as you just experienced, it always gives up the truth, doesn't it.”

A scoff escapes your mouth. “Yeah, the truth is you can fuse spells together and make me speak against my will but you can't shut your damn mouth.” Even under the dim light you catch a glimpse of how his jaw clenches but he keeps his cool.

  
_‘So I do have valuable information, if he can't kill me... yet. I would have picked a swift death on the spot rather than listen to this idiot for another minute.’_

  
“Yes, it's a shame my spell can't erase that infuriating attitude you have.” He sighs, “No matter, I can fully expect the potion will keep you cooperative the next time I come back for you. You can protest all you want. I’ve enchanted this very room to be as quiet as a grave.” The elf snickers and walks away with his journal. “Be a good dog and rest. It will be your last.”

  
You thought about acting on your anger once more and lash out as he makes his way out the door but you resisted, minding the wounds and not to mention, the unhelpful results of throwing a fit. _‘I've got less than half a day to figure out how to get off these chains...’_ Analyzing your situation doesn’t really give you much hope. _‘How does one get out of chains? I certainly won't make it in this state.’_ You rest your head back, trying to calm yourself; not wanting to go back and forth on how and why you’re here. Seconds turn to minutes and pretty soon, your heavy eyes and worn state leads you into the alluring embrace of sleep.

* * *

_ Comforting._

  
That’s the word. Your body and legs are chained on a large chair, left without sustenance; you have a very old, thin rugged cloth for a trouser with barely but a basic upper garment to hide your bosom. You are a prisoner of the Thalmor, which you’ve recalled nothing so far except that they’re pompous sadists as you’ve just witnessed earlier. So you never really thought a throne in an empty room with a window behind you would provide such warmth and light in the middle of the night.

  
_ In the middle of the night._

  
Suddenly opening your eyes, you are greeted by a being mantled with brightness like you’ve never seen. Being blinded by a bright, _and it’s a_ _really_ _bright_, light didn’t really crossed your mind since this room was nothing more but a dark and cold one the last time you were awake. You let a few seconds pass by before trying again, this time with more caution and a slight hope that this is just a hallucination. As if acknowledging your reaction, it reduced its glow until the figure is floating in front of you; its luminosity toned down enough for you to see how it took form of a lady robed in fine garments.

  
“Your heart and mind is clear, my child. Long have they attempted to reach out to you.”

  
You’re not sure if the lady is speaking at you or in your head, but you hear her words clearly.

“...Who?”

Now you said that, but you weren’t really confident if you meant the ones seeking you or the lady in front of you. The woman simply waved her hand towards you and the chains that binded you slowly loosened as it was torn asunder until they were nothing but merely tiny specs of light. It was as beautiful as it was terrifying. “I uhh... I assume I’m next? Just be quick, please.” You clung nervously to the armrest, eyes tightly shut and your will to fight gone. How could you even hope to defend yourself against such power? At least it’s not that noisy Thalmor who’ll be ending you.

But instead, you felt an undoubtedly real and soft hand touch yours, and for the first time since you saw the flickering of candles, you felt safe. Without daring to look up and show how stupid you must look right now, you grasped the lady’s hand. All of a sudden you feel the energy of your body being restored.

  
“Although you remember them not, all of them have always watched over you. Their love for you lives. Witness how it has made you strong.” She spoke softly and the light in her briefly extends through you, closing your wounds and mending your bruises wherever it passes. It is a sight to behold for sure. No other kind of restoration could ever be this immensely powerful. The power is held, the energy that just coursed through you—it’s otherworldly.

You couldn’t help but laugh nervously, “Am I dreaming again?” you said, unable to stop your voice from shaking as you watch and feel the warmth of her light flow through you. This is in no way a common restoration technique. How you knew didn’t matter, you could just simply tell. She returns your grip with a comforting one and now you meet her eyes clearly, golden from the radiance that she emits. “I cannot return them, for such a thing is beyond the realm of my power. But now their love has given you life.” Her voice is soothing; filled with nothing but love and compassion of the purest form.

“I.. Thank you, but...” Knowing there is nothing to be suspicious of but also at loss to what her words meant, you ask her, “Why are you doing this, my lady?” _My lady._ You’d laugh at yourself but your instinct got the better of you when you responded.

  
_‘Wait.’_

You started to think as the bright lady smiled when she let go of your hand and moved to the bottom of the throne. She lifts both her hands, inviting you to come to her, and the warmth of her smile pierces through your doubting mind. _‘Maybe that’s it. Since I don’t remember anything...’_ With trembling limbs, you lift yourself from your seat. Taking a step and with growing confidence you make your way to her, confirming with every movement that this is reality.

  
“Approach, my child, for this is where your new life begins.”

Her voice echoed, welcoming you in a motherly embrace once you reached her. You return the gesture, inhaling the divine sensation, wrapping your arms around her as her radiance engulfs your whole being.

_‘I’ll have to trust my intuition from here.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's.. That's my poorly to slightly decent interpretation of how Mara's apparition in Alternate Start is. ;v;


	3. Unbound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You want to remember your past. Wait. You do, right?

**002**

**Unbound**

Cyrelian stood impatiently outside of the prison cell, arranging several reports. He’s been busy enough dealing with the transferring of Talos worshipers every now and then with other outposts. Then this new and insufferable mage has been assigned with them for the rest of the month. Divines only know if that person wasn’t working for their cause, he would have slain him the first time he spoke. No, the list doesn’t ends there; the interrogation with this specific man is making absolutely no progress. The high elf merely held in his fury, seeing how the man still refuses to spill information despite the interrogator’s blade carving his skin. It had been his fourth visit in this cell. The mongrel in chains should know it is only for the fact that they’ve confirmed his ties to the Blades that prevents them from executing him immediately. The craftsmanship of the sword he possessed definitely belonged to those pests. They’ve had him and his female companion for almost a fortnight and barely got anything out of him except empty threats, if not a bit of short lived satisfaction from beating him until he passes out.

As for his companion, Cyrelian keeps it professional and doesn’t meddle with prisoners who aren’t assigned to him but he does check on his colleagues’ progress reports to be sent to their superiors. According to the reports of his fellow mage, the girl had been unconscious for days, and has been hysterical since waking up.

First, she tricked one of the head securities into thinking she escaped, which resulted with the ones guarding her cell beheaded as punishment for insolence. She was then heard laughing as she remove her invisibility spell, revealing she never escaped in the first place, and thus greatly humiliating the one who called for the execution. Cyrelian recalled hearing this girl plead for mercy when he passed by her prison cell a week ago, saying she was ‘bored and won’t be doing it again’. The only thing she got was a wasteful amount of magicka suppressing potions.

The elf scoffed as he read. Why they let such an atrocity pass by is beyond him. He just figured the lunatic was scheduled for interrogation the next day as it confirms in the next report. It says she admitted the sword’s relevance to the Blades upon the first session of questioning but _ begged _ the interrogator to ‘bring her to her companion first so she can secure his safety’ before confessing. Of course her pleas were rejected by a slap across the face.

A dog does not give orders to their masters and that was exactly what the interrogator had said before she tackled him and, despite having her hands cuffed together, _ plunged in _all her fingers on his face. To skip the gruesome details of the act, it only noted that she disfigured him. Apparently, the magicka suppressant was starting to wear off during the session which must have given her the audacity. Their colleague will recover, but the report mentions severe burn damages done to the eyes—or what was left of it. As for the girl, she underwent punishment for the next few days in a new room but was kept alive.

“So I’m assuming that’s the reason our premium potions took a huge slide this week.” Cyrelian mumbled to himself unamused and continued to review the piece of paper in his hand.

It appears the girl was beaten half to death before they sent her to the new wizard who’s in charge of her now. Assigning him to extract the information she has and dispatch her the soonest, Cyrelian could only chuckle wryly.

They’ve had their fair share of violent prisoners before but they haven’t suffered casualties in a long time. If that prisoner had only been assigned to him as well, he might have finished the job much earlier, albeit messier. But it’s not in his best interest to handle more prisoners when the paperwork keeps piling up.

“Cyrelian, I didn’t know you were there.”

The interrogator greeted him and glanced back at the prisoner, now only barely conscious with all the new wounds and fresh blood pouring from his face. “He’s far from giving up yet. I’ve been doing this straight for hours the whole week and he’s not breaking at all. He just keeps repeating his denial.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re growing tired. You’ve done longer before and I’m sure you’re enjoying his agony. Men are weak. Especially the stubborn ones who refuse to bend. They’ll break, they all do.” Cyrelian simply responded as-a-matter-of-factly. “Speaking of which, do everyone a favor and give the other prisoner a try if you’re growing bored of this one.” When he didn’t hear a reply, he removed his attention from the papers and met the interrogator’s eyes.

“Did you hear what I said?”

The interrogator slightly opened his mouth, and with a bit of hesitation spoke, “Jephre’s knees, surely, you jest! I do enjoy the pathetic screams of these lowlifes but after what happened to the other, I’d pass it. After all, I heard the newcomer has already got her under control and will no doubt be done with her soon after.” he told Cyrelian, wiping his hands and returned to his work, refusing to gaze upon the wizard’s baffled expression. This Blades-hunting business is just one of the many things the Dominion will triumph over but he admits it can get on the nerves sometimes.

The high elf walked away from the prison cells, disgruntled. He can’t believe what he just heard. “She successfully sent two guards to their undeserved deaths without dirtying her hands, stirred conflict within the security, relieved a Justiciar of his vision, consumed several of our rarest resources, struck the morale in this outpost... and she’s still drawing breath. I’d soon start asking who really does the hurting here.” he said to himself, frustration seeped into every word. Just as he neared his room, he couldn’t help but curse under his breath and wonder if his temper couldn’t be more tested today.

“How goes the interrogation with your prisoner?” His fellow mage beamed.

The day’s almost over and it looks like things are looking up for this one after their conversation earlier this evening. He’s a younger elf, given away by his lack of seriousness in this kind of work. Though the devotion to his research is unnatural, but that’s what anyone would expect out of scientists of his type. For what reason this fellow chose to serve the Dominion is not of his concern and he’s certainly not interested in knowing about it.

Mistaking the older elf’s silence as an invitation, he proceeded, following Cyrelian to his station. “My prisoner is proving to be sharper when sane. She wasn’t violent or loud, though I highly suspect she was analyzing the situation while I ran some tests. I’m afraid I’ll have to finish my work when I get back there. Even if it meant using this expensive potion I’ve been saving.” He rubs the bottle warily. “Waiting for tomorrow will just bide her more time to come up with something. I can always request new subjects—”

“Potion? What potion?” Cyrelian snatches the item away as the other protested. “You had this the whole time? We’ve been wasting stocks on those filths for the past week!” He sneered as he instantly recognized what the liquid inside is and shoved the other mage out of the way, going for the prison cells.

“No, Cyrelian, wait!” The mage swiftly threw a spell to seal the doors, angering Cyrelian even more.

“You dare! Should I write up a report on this interference as well?!”

The young elf hurriedly took his potion back. “Please, you must forgive me. This is not as easy to come by especially in this wasteland. I haven’t been sent a potential subject in a while so I accept the blame for any delays. But I swear I had nothing to do with the entire ruckus she’s been causing! Just let me secure this one, alright? Here.” he searches the drawers of a nearby cabinet and takes out a smaller empty bottle, pouring in a few drops of the potion. “Use it to your prisoner or whatever. I was about to ask for your assistance to begin with but nevermind.” he says and stormed out fuming, leaving Cyrelian to get back to his duties. Tonight, they might finally obtain something worth reporting.

* * *

_ ‘That old one will never understand just how useful mine and Isael’s spells are with interrogations and many more when I’m fully done combining them. Ha! And he calls himself a wizard while all he cares for are paperworks!’ _ The Justiciar jeered in his mind as he strode off. “Success only comes from hard work and a ton of patience. I possess both! I’ll make them see that!” He muttered upon entering the prison on the lowest floor and locking it behind him. Upon securing the door, he re-casts a soundproofing spell on the room before he starts his work. He then loosed a ball of light on the table he left near the throne earlier, barely missing the prisoner who just finished reading the words on a scroll—

“What in oblivion..!?”

He quickly caught up how you’re miraculously in the best of shape, free of chains, free to take your turn. Instinctively, he charges energy to conduct a defensive spell but he’s already too late. You faced the scroll at him and briefly saw the widening of his eyes as the seals burn the paper, releasing the spell. A blast of green light hits him before he can react. He staggers and goes limp, falling face down on the dusty, cold stone floor like a lifeless corpse.

“Well that was louder than I hoped.” You started walking towards another table filled with tools. Picking up the sharpest equipment you can find, you turn your attention to the motionless mage. “I have you to thank for the strengthened enchantment of this room.” Turning him over, you search for his necklace while your other hand holds an embalming tool against his eyes. You hear weak groaning and see that he’s very much still alive despite the effects of the paralyzing spell. “Don’t you worry about that. That’s only gonna poke it if you move.” You joked but only got louder, angrier protests as a response. Retrieving the bottle, you inspect its components and took it. For a moment you consider having the scum consume the potion but a better idea sparks in you. Hurriedly searching his cabinet, you weren’t disappointed to find a few more bottles labeled as “magicka repellent”. You grab one and made him drink it, waiting for the substance to take effect. The corners of your lips curl up ever so slightly.

“Now let’s talk about your spell.”

* * *

The Justiciar wriggled in vain against his restraints. “You said so yourself, almost everything in this room is enchanted and strengthened so I don’t understand why you’re wasting energy.” You casually commented, feet crossed high on his table and a notebook in your hand.

“I’ll have your head, but first I’ll keep you alive just enough for you to feel when I carve you flesh to flesh!” He shouted across from the throne where you’ve tied him up.

“I see the spell wore off. That lasted long enough for me to drag you on a throne. I’d expect as much quality from fancy pointy ears like you folks.” You glanced up at him briefly and proceeded to read his journal and notes. The description of each act you did, and the beating, whipping, slashing they gave you and the man with stark black hair. It’s a little gruesome to visualize and you curse yourself for being at the peak of your creativity this time of the night.

“How in Nirn did you escaped... Who helped you?! Answer me, dog!”

“This dog is busy trying to read through your ugly hand writing. But do tell me, did I really do everything you’ve reported here... And what your ‘hospitable’ establishment did to me?”

“Of course not! You did so much more, that’s why you deserved every ounce of torture they gave you, you madwoman!” You really didn’t expect him to respond so strongly and getting called like that hurt a bit. “Why else would I have locked away your memories before extracting information from you? You are but one of many good examples why we all strive to cleanse this land from Men—why we will always be the superior race!” He spat every word with spite. “Had I known you’d somehow manage to get free, then I would’ve gladly sent you to Oblivion myself!” ‘That’s a lot of words from someone who writes so little’ is what you wanted to say but you do not have the luxury to humor this fool.

As he goes on with his rage-filled ranting you go through _ your _ compilation of letters and torn notes—at least the label says it’s yours. Most of it only looked like bounty letters, intercepted messages, recipes of food and potions, directions, until you come across one with a broken seal and which looked newer than the others. This must have been your latest letter. You flipped it open and it read;

_ “THIS ONE HAS BETRAYED YOU AND HIMSELF... A LIFE BEHIND BARS WILL KEEP THIS ONE ALIVE...” _

More were written in between but was smudged with dirt and mud... Or is that bl.. Better not go into too much detail on that one. There’s a readable line at the end of it;

_ “..SHADOW HIDE YOU.” _

With that out of the way, you got up on your feet and approached the mage. “I hope you got everything out of that chest of yours. Because I wasn’t really listening.” You mockingly greeted and he cursed you in return. “Now, now. I let you run your little test on me, didn’t I?” Grabbing a leather strip, you yanked it around his neck. It took a while, and between the elf’s pitiful struggles, the thought of just going all the way through with it crossed your mind. _ ‘How am I any different with them if I did?’ _ So you waited until he was weak enough from the choking before you grabbed the potion. “You’re parched, yeah? This should fix you right up.” You sneered, forcing him to drink a mixture of magicka replenisher and the liquid strange liquid. His golden eyes slowly dilated as you watch the substance takes over his mind.

You step back, pulling the mage’s bindings with you. “You said earlier how your spell locks my memories and magicka but separately.” He followed you, and this time bowed his head _ obediently _.

“Yes. I can unlock both and reciting the ritual will only take a few moments.” he calmly responded. You assess the person in front of you, sensing that the high elf still retains his awareness of what’s happening in front of him but unable to respond to it until the potion wears off. Nodding your head, you search for a clear spot to perform the ritual. The mage does your bidding without delay and recites the phrase, and upon speaking the word that ‘unlocks’ it, you feel the magical energies of this world flow through you the same as how you’ve always been familiar with the air you breathe. The elf keeps the energies flowing until your ‘connection’ has been fully restored. Something inside you celebrated, though it failed to show on your face. It’s as if you’ve been able to think, feel, and breathe more clearly now. But your mind still hasn’t remembered what spells you have learned yet.

“My memories. Give them back now.”

The Justiciar charged his hands with magicka once more but looked at you as to ask for permission. “I am compelled to inform you that with my spell incomplete, I regret that I am unable to secure the amount of stress it might cause your mind once the veil’s uplifted. Is this truly your wish?” He asks wearing an empty expression and preparing to cast it again.

You reconsider for a moment. Of course you want your life back. But with the state that you were in the reports, it makes you wonder, _ ‘Was it really a life worth going back to?’ _

“I may not have enough magicka to assist you later on.”

“Will it return everything, _ everything _, my mind remembers?”

A pause, and then he nods. “Yes.”

If the potion wears off, you have to kill him. You know neither of the ritual nor how to safely cast it to yourself. This might be your only chance to remember. _ Or to restart. Run away, create a new name, a new life. It is but one chance in a lifetime _. No. It’s not wise to drop everything. You wouldn’t lived this long if you’re as deranged as you’ve been told. A deep breathe, a strengthened resolve, your jaw tightens but you finally make up your mind. You stood ready and meet his eyes.

“Do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already crying, Cyrelian gets so much more appearance here than he actually did in the Kaidan 2 mod.


	4. The Mysterious Swordsman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow your instincts. Your instinct's a bit scary, though. But of course, better trust it than stay skittish.

**003**

**The Mysterious Swordsman**

Labored breathing escaped him with every rise and fall of his scarred chest. Some new, some older. Even the slightest tilt of his head will inflict a different set of pain on his body. He’s been blinking in and out of consciousness these past days. If it’s not another Thalmor scum striking him, it’s the red of his pupils reflected on tiny puddles between the stony floors he sees before passing out. Sharp, clawed fingers forcefully yank his hair to lift his head up.

“Answer me. What do you know of this sword?” Demanded the Altmer, holding the nodachi near Kaidan’s face as he leaned down. “The Blades? Where are they hiding?”

His weary eyes shifted from the empty bottle Cyrelian held to the face of the bastard himself. Whatever the scum made him drink, he’s too weak to fight it. His mind screamed at the elf to gut itself from neck to groin yet his lips moved on its own.

“Nothing. I already told you, over and over, I don’t know where or who they are.” He said in between raspy breaths. The Thalmor wizard then smashed the bottle on the prisoner’s head in a fit of rage.

Days of resources wasted! Cyrelian regretted that he hadn’t involved himself more on this matter when the guards first brought them. He unsheathed the sword, its blade reflected moonlight like crystal clear water. Being held back by nothing anymore, Cyrelian was more than willing to cut down the pathetic life in front of him. “This is the last time I’m asking you. Conf—” The elf’s outrage was conveniently disrupted by a loud blast coming from the lower levels. _ The girl. _ He wore the nodachi on his back and quietly stepped out of the prison cell, leaving a bleeding Kaidan to lose consciousness. The scornful mage cautiously thread the halls and down the stairs.

_ “Mara’s heart, save us! He’s dead! Alert the others!” _

Hearing one of the guards, Cyrelian prepared for the worst. He arrived in front of the room where the female prisoner was held in; taking in the full view of the dead wizard he was in an argument just moments ago. The corpse had a _ hole _ still smoking at the center of his chest; flesh and organs burnt brown on a considerable radius around it. Blood splattered all over him and the pile of bricks he’s found laying on top of. The room was supposed to be enchanted, everyone knew of this. Whoever did this had a very good focus or considerably strong spell to pierce through an altmer _ and _ a fortified stone wall. But there’s only one person other than their newcomer in that room—and she’s not in there.

Everyone quickly spread out, warriors, archers, Cyrelian and the other mages to investigate and find the culprit. All cells have been locked with enchantments; living prisoners are being questioned or killed if deemed suspicious. This is the Thalmor talking to inferior races. _ Everyone _ is suspicious. Cyrelian roamed the halls, checked through each room, doubled back on any possible exits and windows. One by one, prisoners died and one by one, he noticed, so did his colleagues.

The elf ran into a bedchamber and secured it shut. Preparing to make a final stand there.

_ “By the stars!” _

Cyrelian raised his charged palms as fast as he spun around. “Just what in oblivion are you doing, Cyrelian?” The person complained upon his sudden intrusion. His fellow mage wearing a similar set of robes gracefully shifted her glance back to whatever she’s reading before he scoffed at the lack of vigilance. “What-.. Are you some sort of half-wit? There’s an escaped prisoner rampaging out there. Why are you just standing there?!” He growled.

“Oh? I’m sorry if I’ve been unaware. These reports have been quite the page turner so I put on a nifty illusion spell outside just to keep the noise away.” The mage chuckled. Grunting at this simpleton of an altmer, Cyrelian turned his attention back at the door but caught on quick enough. He draws the sword on his back and points it at her. “I’m afraid you’re in no position to get your hands on those papers. Reveal yourself!”

The person doesn’t react. Instead she places the book down and as her hands slide down the hem of the hood, her disguise dissolves.

“That’s an interesting blade. Though I believe it’s not yours.” You coyly tell the Thalmor in front of you.

Cyrelian draws the blade closer to your neck. “Hmph. Bested him I see.” He quietly states. “He might have been a damn fool in keeping you alive but he certainly was right about you being so much more dangerous with your sanity back.” the elf sneered at you. “Oblivion take you!” He cries, slashing the blade sideways and catching you off guard when he swiftly cast a flame spell at you while he retreats with the sword. You stumble back a bit; the thick enchanted cloth did well in protecting you against the fire. Figuring the elf was clever enough to know he won’t best you in a cramped spot with that sword he has, you set off in pursuit of him.

* * *

The whole place was a riot. Chaotic enough that one would confuse it with everyone being under a frenzy spell. Kaidan sure did. He just regained full consciousness when he heard the prisoner opposite of his cell howl in pain. A Thalmor Warrior had slashed the Nord’s arm but not deep enough to cut it off. Thick dark red poured out, showering the man in his own blood. The armed elf stuck its sword slowly on the gap, and Kaidan was the damndest of all fools that time for instinctively following it and saw how it agonizingly tore the man’s limb, toying on its flesh, revealing tissues as the blade prodded. Muscles, bones.. Kaidan looked away but couldn’t shield his hearing from the man’s cries. It wasn’t that he’s not used to the sight, but he couldn’t handle the idea of him being in that man’s shoes. He could only avert the fearful and hopeless gazes of the rest of them still breathing. Amid the wailing of other prisoners, some of the guards were screaming back. Something about the location of a woman who escaped and _ is responsible for the deaths _ of several Justiciars _ . _

As his eyes caught a glimpse of a bluish white light cross the place, so it did struck a Thalmor and knocked him off his feet just as fast. Another flash. A buzzing _ zap _ and one guard on the ground became two.

“What in Mara’s name is happening?” Kaidan mumbled, straining what little energy he has just to see what’s happening behind the stone pillars that blocked his view. The three remaining guards readied themselves; two hurled a spell towards the stairs to the main hall. The flickering light grows brighter and brighter as it neared Kaidan’s range of view, and he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the Storm Atronach with its arms filled with growing electrical charge.

_ “By the gods... An atronach!” _

_ “Ysmir’s beard, help! Somebody!” _

_ “Just let me get home to my family! Anyone!?” _

The remaining of the prisoners has already gone into panic. Others have already taken their own life at the very first sight of the Atronach. _ ‘Probably thought it’s sent to kill everyone in this prison.’ _ Kaidan thought to himself. An atronach, a Storm atronach of all things. Gods know it only takes one quick moment for it to fry up even the strongest orc into crisps. The others have been here longer than him, so that may explain why they are so quick to give into hopelessness and fear. He didn’t let his guard down even when the elemental daedra battled against the high elves of this place. But he observed. He held his breath and felt like his heart dropped when the daedra passed by his cell and ignored him.

Soon the struggle of the Thalmor soldiers reached a dead end when Kaidan overheard growling and barking coming from the lower floor. Those things feasted on the elves, gnawing at their armors and limbs. They must have gotten one, hearing a loud blast which sent the creature sliding far enough for him to witness when it’s magical essence dispersed like ash to wind as it ‘died’. With a deafening explosion, he assumed it was the atronach that did the killing blow. He waited for the conjured beasts to do something, kill him next perhaps, but it’s as if he didn’t exist. The wolves simply ran past through him and up the main hall while he hears the daedra move further down into the lower dungeon.

He hung his head low, heartbeat drumming loudly in his chest too fast that he would’ve definitely laughed if it started opening his deeper cuts. Kaidan partially accepted that he wouldn’t be able to escape this place, may it be either due to the Thalmor eventually killing him, or all of them dying together in this gods forsaken outpost. But there wasn’t a day that went by in his cell where he didn’t wish to be free of his shackles and dig his blade deep in a Thalmor’s throat, or at least die trying. And that untamed fury still stirs, especially when one of those dark robed bigots enter his vicinity—like this one silently standing in front of him.

“This place is terribly cluttered with a handful of conjuration scrolls just lying around. You only need to read the words without stuttering to unseal it successfully. Of course, one mispronunciation can turn the scrolls backfiring or worse.” The voice was that of a woman. “Overall, it’s pretty useful. Don’t you think?” She pressed on casually when she didn’t get a response from the man seething in his anger.

Refusing to face whoever it is and give them the pleasure of seeing his tormented state, Kaidan lifted his head ever so slightly, spirit unbroken, and with all the consciousness he still holds, spoke;

“When I get out of here, I’ll kill you all myself...”

“Why, aren’t you as feisty as this piece of paper says!”

Such an energetic greeting brought amusement to you as you smugly wave a torn page with a poorly drawn image of him. It had some scattered notes beside it which indicates key information about this person in front of you. “You’re not really in a position to be making threats here, you know...” You meant only to crudely tease him for his brashness. Instead, that seems to have sparked some life in him.

“TELL ME THAT AGAIN WHEN I _ RIP _ YOUR SPINE OUT OF YOUR HE...”

You crouch down, paying no mind to his reaction to get a better view of his face. _ ‘Black hair ending just above the shoulders. Red tattoo. Red eyes. Red blood—wait, of course the blood is red.’ _ It’s definitely the exact person Cyrelian insists you were with in his records. You don’t recognize him from your blurry memories. Trying later might be more productive. Although it’s a shame; you were hoping to remember at least something much more elaborate once you meet him. _ ‘Of course it didn’t have to be this hard if you only let the ritual finish in the first place.’ _ A voice in your head insists, but you shake it off. Focus.

Kaidan was more than ready to spill the blood of whoever he was talking to until he saw them getting down on one knee in front of him and his mind immediately ceases its murderous trail of thoughts. Under the hood is a person who is neither gold skinned nor an elf.

“_ WHAT! _ Who are you?!” His tone instantly flips into something less hostile. “Wait. You're not with the Thalmor are you? Quick, get me free from here before more come!” He added in a hurry.

Well, he isn't really gonna humor you with his arms chained up there. _ 'Did they use a similar memory spell on him? No all accounts said I was the only one sent to be tested on.' _ It looks like he doesn't even know you as well.

_ 'How convenient.' _

But even so, you still need to know why the Thalmor caught you with him. Were you two just at the same place at the wrong time? What was he doing that made him a target?

“Who are you?” You asked, earning a confused look from the stranger. But he answered nonetheless, “_ Kaidan _... My name is Kaidan.” exhaustion evident in his voice. You've already made up your mind to track down this person and get out with him but now that you've come face to face with this man, nothing about him seemed to be threatening enough that the Thalmor would go out of their way to hunt him directly. No. You need more than a name to determine whether he's to be trusted or not. “Why are you here?”

“The Thalmor invited me to high tea. What do you _ think _?”

Ah, now you kind of understand why he's as battered as you were. You charged your hand with magicka. “Well... You must have been offensively terrible at it if they felt the need to beat you up this much.” You relentlessly spat back, a smirk uncontrollably forming on your lips. Kaidan blinked in utter bemusement. This ridiculous exchange is going nowhere. He shakes his head in defeat, taking into consideration how you're most likely just being cautious with a stranger like him as he is with you. “Look, I don't know... Some Justiciars ambushed me outside of Falkreath.”

_ 'Falkreath. Falkreath. That's a place I think. _’ Your mind worked its best to search for the faintest familiarity. No, no you need more to go on.

“There must be more to it.” You urged and he loses it.

“Choking on my _ own _ blood and you want my life story?!” He snaps at the stranger. He's been tortured, starved, and derived of any humane treatment for days and the first person who has the capability of freeing him just gawks at him, playing a questions game. Of course he has every reason to lose his temper. But that must have taken her by surprise as it is honestly expressed on her face. Kaidan takes a breather and gives it another shot. “Please.... Just help me out of here.” He says it almost like a prayer. She doesn't have to kill those bastards who put him there; she just needs to aid in getting his freedom back.

Approving the sincerity in his voice, you harnessed the magic charged in your hand. You stand back, using telekinesis until the metals bend and break apart. The man falls on his knees with both an exhausted and relieved sigh.

“Ah, you're a life saver.” He catches his breath, taking the time to let his body adjust. Slowly, Kaidan felt a comforting yet faint warmth covering him followed by subtle trails of light swirling in the air. He traces the source, looking up to see you holding out an open hand at him as healing energies pour out from the very tip of your fingers. You notice how the light easily complimented the colors of his eyes, like a pair of sparkling rubies while he watches his wounds close, almost in disbelief. “A healer? That's a special gift you have.” The man gives his thanks. You shrug, not really knowing exactly yet why your restoration skills are that efficient. “Let’s get you out of here. I’ve got a plan.” You prepare to leave, tossing him a recovery potion, and explaining that he should use it should he felt pain coming back as your magic isn’t some work of miracle that heals everything completely. _ ‘...Unlike what that light did to me.’ _ Your mind drifts to the events that led to your escape, but that part is too much of a mystery. Best spare it from the details.

“Wait. There’s one more thing.” Kaidan speaks up, “One of the Thalmor got his hands on my sword.” he starts, and you could already tell which bastard he’s talking about. “I know I’ve got no right to ask, but I could use your help in getting it back.” Of course you do want to help and help you will but there’s one minor complication.

You have to go to where Cyrelian is to get the sword.


	5. Abandoned Prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agreeing to retrieve Kaidan's item, you bring the fight to the remaining elves. But who are you really in battle with?

**004**

**Abandoned Prison**

You just want to get away from this place due to reasons you can’t just convey openly to a person you just met—is that really hard to understand? But this man insists on getting his stuff back. Of course, even if you wanted to compensate him with a new set of armor or steel, neither of you have that amount of gold. The path he wants to take conflicts with the one you already had in mind.

See here, the plan you have involves letting Cyrelian believe he’s got the upper hand while he flees into the deeper parts of the dungeon. Sending out a bunch of conjured entities pursuing him in that direction will make it appear that you are playing right into his trap. In truth, you actually just want to ditch him while you can confirm he’s still inside, quietly tiptoe out of this place, and wrap this plan up the easy way by burying the whole place through the detonation of all the fire runes you’ve found and planted on the way here. Raising a brow, you ask him, “The sword is that important?” Surely, it’s just a unique sword and not  _ that  _ significant. But Kaidan nods, “This isn’t me being sentimental. They kept asking me about it...” he explains, killing what little hope you’ve held out with his next words “If it’s important to them, they shouldn’t have it.”

Granted that your plan in general is just in a form of a large scale homicidal prank, you decided not to bother debating for it. You guess it’s time to enact the  _ much _ messier plan. “Alright. I’ll handle him. You probably should stay back.” Now it was the dark haired man’s turn to look surprised. “I’m not telling you to do this alone. I’m just asking you to help me get it back.” He repeats, obviously sounding like you’ve mistaken his request. You scoff, taking down your robes’ hood to look him dead in the eyes. “Get it back? I’m sure you’re amazing in whatever you do but the only thing you’ll be getting in  _ that _ state is another round of beating.”

“But I—”

“But you  _ what _ exactly? You’re unarmored, basically never use magic by the looks of it, and still worn down. If you want to, you can go ahead and be my meat shield as you get caught up in between us hurling fireballs at each other..” You point out sharply before he can even let his ego speak. Immediately forming a brilliant idea, you suddenly grab his hand, making him flinch a bit by surprise, and give him a key.  _ The _ key. “...or you can free each living prisoner you see here, get them to safety, and let me use as many of their scrolls against them. And they’ve got plenty of it, I assure you.” You tell him as he eyes the item you just gave him. He looks up, lips pressed in a firm line. “What about you?” he asks, furrowing his brows.

“I wanna kill these sons of whores. Trust me,  _ this _ will hurt them.” and after a few moments of sizing up your words, he reluctantly nods, and you beam up upon finally coming to an agreement. “Then maybe I’ll save some for you just in case you insist on coming back to join the fight.” Even with your back facing him as you thread on towards your destination, you could’ve sworn you heard him chuckle.

Kaidan never expected this stranger to aid him so willingly but while she does make condescending comments left and right, she seem to make reasonable observations when she’s done talking. Checking each cell for signs of life, he used the prison’s key in freeing those who he can. Some are too traumatized to even respond and so he would just leave the prison door open for them. “This better work...” The swordsman grumbles under his breath.

* * *

Darkness consumes your mind as you sneak down the stoned path. By now, that Kaidan fellow should have at least reached the upper floor with some others—if there were any, without complications. The atronach had swept that area clean of pointy eared bastards. You wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible so you can deal with the effects of the ritual but it looks like you’ll be having to go through with it and Cyrelian at the same time. As your feet take you further and further down the stairs, you mildly experience flashbacks from a while ago. Your body numbs and your sense of balance escapes you, forcing you to lean on one of the pillars as it triggers.

The place shifts or maybe your vision did. In any case, you can’t see stairs anymore but a spacious room. One you were quite familiar with. One where you first saw those twinkling candles. Did time stop or is this happening all at once? Of all the times.... You really shouldn’t have turned down that stranger’s help.

‘Lies. It must have been just lies. Maybe they already erased my memories and are now trying to trick me again.’

Those were the words that played on your mind as the mage recites the ritual for returning your memories. It didn’t come as easy as your magic. A stream of water finding its original path back to you compared to a tidal wave swallowing you whole as it returns. These are years, days, emotions, names, faces, context, reasoning—all breaching your very being at once.

Confusion sets in.

You see people dying before you, because of you,  _ for you _ . People you love and loved you.

The details in the journal matching the fleeting images of gold skin gripping tight a whip, countless punches and kicks hitting your body, the sound of bones breaking, getting almost drowned as they force down bottle after bottle of repellent on you, and the clanking of chains as it dragged against stone. There weren’t much words exchanged, but you hear them laughing, you know they are  _ enjoying _ whenever you cry out painfully.

_ ‘Are these really mine?’ _

Feelings of anger and sorrow fusing together, fueling a hunger to kill.  _ To kill him _ . You wanted to kill for a long time, and killing you did but there’s always one you’ve been building up to for a long time. The Thalmor? They’ve always been ever present at your losses. That hooded scum hitting you only sent you into a frenzy. He’ll live, but you take pride in knowing he’ll always remember the feeling of someone slowly digging their fingers in his sockets and burning it so hot that it melts and bleeds the damn soft thing inside what he calls his eyes. Oh, did his screams reached the depths of hell!

_ ‘Do I really want it back?’ _

You keep your eyes at the magical energies circling the mage as your knees start to tremble. The thumping in your head gets louder and more painful by every second. Is it because of the effects of the spell or just your memories? At this point, it’s already too hard to tell. Each memory burns itself in you, resurrecting good ones, bad ones, and those which you’ve worked so hard to try and forget. Everything is crystal clear, even the fear.  _ Especially the fear _ . For all your life, you’ve never overcome this one and now its jaws are ready more than ever to feast on you; eat you once more from the inside. Your mind swirls at the growing ache it causes you. The world— _ your world, _ is being made whole faster and faster but so does your monsters as well. With all the magicka flowing through you, you focused it into a beam of powerful lightning, piercing through the mage’s chest before he could finish saying the words. It didn’t matter if it drained all your current magic. Your indecision leaves you with images in your head; nothing which you can make sense of anymore, a dead mage, and a broken down wall. Finally, something good from all this chaos.

With your magic interfering the steady flow of the ritual’s own power over you, the world shatters into fading pieces. Some intact, majority’s broken, others swiftly erasing itself as fast as it appeared in your mind. This, you might come to deeply regret later, but that’s a problem for another day. Right now there are no more monsters. No more haunting of past failures. Escaped from guilt.

_ ‘And that’s enough.’ _

_ _

You repeat the words as you open your eyes. You’re still at the stairs, shadow and moonlight accompanying you down these silent halls. That’s right, collect your thoughts. Lest you’ll fall apart if you allow it to scatter. You exhaled loudly trying to pump some confidence in yourself and remembered about the invisibility scroll you received from the lady of light. Recollecting your resolve and a renewed hatred for the Thalmor, you focused your mind in the present situation at hand. Escape alive, then you’ll have all the time in Nirn to decide what to do with your shambled brain. You hope so anyways.

* * *

What was left of the high elves gathered and fought through the lower dungeons of the outpost. None of them had anticipated to have multiple numbers of their own summoning scrolls to be used against them. Keeping most of the tomes and scrolls in a secured room or two was smart. Unless someone who isn’t one of them got a hold of the said rooms. Apparently you did. You also made sure to release as much as you can. An inside attack was the least of their worry before you burned a hole through that mage’s chest. Oh, that fool did quite the damage to your mind but it allowed you to think and focus more clearly which can explain the intensity of your magic. Power is surging within your veins, you are in a state of confusion, and you hate the ones who put you in chains. Isn’t this just the perfect opportunity for you to go on a rampage.

“Speaking of which.” You mumble as you arrive at the spot where your conjured beings are gathering. Even with the storm elemental’s combined strength with the wolves, the metal door wouldn’t budge. Of course the door’s been enchanted. They won’t last but your summons will disappear earlier. Brushing through the tips of the scrolls you have left on the belt of your robes, you pick out one you would miss the most. “I was expecting to use this last but I’m in a bit of a hurry.” You sighed, examining the potent fire rune as you retreat back up.

“Our scrolls have been used. Surely there’s someone working with her!” Exclaimed one soldier, waiting for Cyrelian and two other mages to seal the door with enchantments. “Don’t be a fool. We’ve encountered intellectual and even proficient scholars as prisoners in service of our cause. This one only got lucky because that newcomer was young, foolishly confident, but is more of an insolent moron than we assumed him to be.” Another one hissed back. Conjured daedra’s and beasts don’t usually last long in Mundus if they aren’t slain. All they have to do is to wait it out and reclaim their establishment. It doesn’t matter whoever prisoner escapes. The ones they have are either Stormcloaks or some heretic. Either way, the Empire will turn a blind eye should this reach them. The Nords however will regain a strengthened confidence no matter the story; all they need to hear is someone or something successfully destroying an outpost and any of those barbarians will think they can do it as well. As minutes passed on with bickering regarding logistics and political impacts of this issue, the atronach outside along with the wolves ceased assault. They are now aware that you are not as average as you appeared to them and are still clueless to where your limits are. Cyrelian expected you’d be conducting some plan, though unbeknownst to him that that plan has already been thwarted the moment Kaidan asked you to get his sword back. All of them prepared for combat.

“Is it done?” One inquired in hushed tones. “It’s too early for that. You don’t think we’ll be keeping cheaply enchanted spells here don’t you?” The other noted. She is right of course. As silence fell on the group, the soft static and rumbling that could only come from the storm elemental can be heard. “Wait. Listen. It’s... charging?” The group slowly backed away, arming themselves with any protection if in any case their enchantment fails to repel the atronach’s attack. But should the defences itself fails, this old chamber was redesigned with a tunnel which they can use for escape.

After a few seconds, it finally released a loud blast directed on top of the door. “What was that about?” It obviously didn’t go for the door.” Cyrelian asked. Without any delay, the walls started to tremble and all of them saw the crack branching from the top of the entryway crawl out onto the ceiling above, eventually giving in. The cave in got most of them, leaving only six elves alive. With the thick smoke and loss of their light sources, it was a total blur on what to do next. Those who survive immediately called out for each others’ aid. “Somebody cast a bloody magelight, damn it!” Cyrelian charged his energy instead to create a ward and was thankful he did for what came next. Having a few lit candles left, he could only vaguely witness how the others fell down as a wave of green light hit their general direction. “What in oblivion... is.. happening..!” The other mages were more resistant with the protection against magical forces imbued in their robes but they were affected along the other three spell-blades nonetheless. The high elf strengthened his ward, wary as he looked up the open floor above and desperately searched for the culprit.

“Reveal yourself, trickster! The gods will judge your fate!” He called out, showering the ruins with a wall of flame but saw no one despite the coming out of light. But Cyrelian has been into battles and even the First Great War itself; he didn’t let complacency take place a second time. Balancing his magic to maintain a decent ward and empower the channelling of fire in his hands, he immediately spotted his prey when the smoke outlined an invisible figure. “Ha! Found you!” Taking no chance, he converted both the energy flowing through his hands into a charged fireball and sent it towards you. The twisted grin on his face was easily erased though when you emerged from the blaze, your invisibility breaking off and robes suffering from the fire, revealing your skin to be covered in iron. The mage hissed as you landed on him, your hands grasping his to stop him from casting. But he doesn’t let up and keeps the flames active, burning his and your iron skin away in the process. His resistance with magic is strong and so is his magic. In a matter of seconds, it overpowers and eats away the layers of magic on your skin with ease, leaving you with no choice. Bringing your head higher, you butt his chin and he loses his grip on you as you tear yourself and roll away from him. “ _ Agh..! _ Bastard!” Using the high elf’s sloppiness due to the sword weighing him down, you stagger towards him and bring your dagger down his knee before he can recover. Laying on your back and leaving a howling thalmor, you heaved a deep sigh at the sight of the other mages quickly regaining control.

In a fit of desperation, you search your pockets for scrolls with only a novice chain lightning still readable. You quickly recite—and thank the gods you were showered with fire earlier, lest there wouldn’t be any enough light to make the words visible. You raise it just in time before the first mage charges her blade at you, the dazzling sparks of light materializes into a single bright line that hits her and the others including Cyrelian. The impact knocks her on her back as you hear a loud grunt from your impaled elf. You snatch the short blade she dropped, slightly fumbling from exhaustion, and stick it deep in the elf’s chest. Twisting the dagger with all your might, you feel her nails clawing through your enhanced skin while her squalling drowns you into a state of delirium.

_ Focus _ .

Drawing in breath, you grab the nearest shield from a squashed spell-blade. “Oblivion take you!” He screeches. Finding a decent footing, you lift up the glass buckler to deflect the swing of another justiciar’s conjured blade. Stumbling back from the countered attack, the weakened mage would only take in a full view of the intricate carvings on their equipment before you bash it on his face and shove him towards a broken plank that’s been sticking out. The foolish bastard couldn’t even groan properly with all the blood he’s gurgling out of his mouth.

_ “The gods are judging now.”  _ You hissed through gritted teeth.

Tossing aside the shield to grab the lifeless wizard’s dagger, you turn around; body starting to feel heavy but adrenaline’s keeping you functional. Seeing Cyrelian and the other one charging a spell doesn’t really give you an option to rest. So you take your pick, hoping that the skin magic would endure, and hurled the dagger towards Cyrelian’s chest. You watch the blade sink in his robes and flesh before the last mage manages to blast you with a paralyzing spell. “Damn you…!” The spell didn’t take effect immediately as you were still able to speak—even the mage looked surprised. Maybe it was the enhanced skin, maybe it was just the elf’s magic being very weak due to the present conditions. Either way, it pissed you off and so without care, you crossed the distance between you like a wolf with a clear shot of its prey, tackling the robed bastard. Much like the other, he claws at you as you stab him again and again with his own blade; him picking off your iron skin little by little and you doing the same with his life. Turns out, you need only to bury the knife in his neck to silence him.

Slowly feeling your functions fade away, you hurriedly turned around to retrieve Kaidan’s sword when Cyrelian swings it at you aimlessly and he misses only by a few steps. Taking action while you can still feel your limbs, you grab a used torch and bash it against his head. While he staggers from his wounds and exhaustion, you gather your remaining strength and strike the hand holding the sword, which makes him let go of it. You swing your makeshift weapon back up and both of you finally collapse on your backs. _ ‘Is this over? Gods, it sucks to be paralyzed huh. I almost feel sorry for my victims.’ _ You internally whined. The paralyzing spell seeps into your nerves and slowly your body is unburdened of all control.

A sinister laugh suddenly enveloped the smoke filled room, indicating Cyrelian’s still kicking it.  _ ‘Well, talk about persistent.'  _ You scoffed. It wasn’t as bad as you feel. You knew you gave your best.  _ ‘If there’s any god out there I hope I do not have to suffer terribly long speeches before I am killed.’ _ You say in your mind, praying ever so religiously. On your peripheral vision, the other three spell blades finally started getting back up on their feet. Your heart sank for some reason as you watch their silhouette approach you; the world briefly flashes into a different one. A slower one. But this time you’re absolutely sure it’s the same room. The rubble, the erratic dancing of fires, bodies of the elves you just killed. But where did the hooded people came from? More thalmor mages? No, these are in deeper shades of red.

_ No.. wait. Not now. _

“You’ve dragged this game long enough...” The voice was from Cyrelian but it sounded as if it was also from someone else.  _ “Dragonborn.”  _ The voice sent distorted echoes in your mind upon the mention of this word you’re not familiar with. You wish you could just shut your eyes while the episode you’re having blends in all too well with the scenario you’re in right now. Time plays painfully slow though you’re trying to convince yourself it’s just the spell messing up your mind. You struggle to make a move, hoping you would snap out of this dream if it was one. Up to this point, you always resolved you won’t run away if it’s time for your death but being warped in and out of this nightmare is about to change your mind. If you have to crawl just to get away from this horror, then so be it. But despite your pleas, your body refused to move at all.

_ Get out of my head. _

Tears form in the corner of your eyes and your blurry vision doesn’t help. The thalmor laughs, or was it him whose growl was monstrous and demonic? The screeching reverberates in your surroundings and it makes your head hurt. “Men will always be inferior to us.” Cyrelian speaks with wrathful satisfaction as you gaze at him in horror. But little did he know that the fear isn’t directed at him but to the menacing figure you see standing in his place. With a face contorted in an insidious smile, eye sockets empty and fangs soaked in blood, they sneer at you. You question your reality as you watch the person standing at your feet transform back and forth to that monster and Cyrelian himself with every breath you take. Behind them were shadowy figures laughing, just waiting for the elves to end your existence.

Metallic scales poke at your back as you feel one of them pick you up and the rest unsheathes their weapons. One by one they chip away at your coating and it didn’t take long for their blades to weaken its magical binding on you. The blade hits your left shoulder all the way through your chest. You inhale sharply when the protective layer fails to block the steel as it rips through it and the upper layers of your flesh bleeds. Not falling behind the activity, Cyrelian charges, crackling light circles his hand, and he huffs as the maniac looses a shock spell at you. Electricity coursed through your every nerve and you fall to the ground, still as a corpse; your mind and body giving up from the direct damage it just took, but the world finally seems to come back to normal. Cyrelian’s mouth was moving but you could barely hear anything audible.

The paralysis starts to wear off and your vision sways. Each blink feels like your head’s about to explode, and in those moments, you see an arrow through one of the soldier’s eyes.

_ A blink _ .

Then another gets one through her neck.

_ Blink again. _

They turn towards the floor above, looking beyond the flames. Your body allows your lids to open one last time and it presents you with Cyrelian’s feet high above the ground. Some armoured person is lifting him up with a sword piercing through the elf’s back. Resting your eyes, hearing comes back to you just in time as the thalmor hits the ground. Heavy footsteps approach you slowly and you hear him mutter something before you completely black out.

_ “Son of a bitch had it coming.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't made any descriptions on the DB's appearance. I will and I'll drop a name, too. But I really don't wanna use it as much as only necessary. I want everyone reading to feel like they are actually the LDB in this story hehehe.


	6. 16th of Sun’s Dawn, 4E 200

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to get a room for free should be easy enough if the actors play their part right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Anduniel and Lyra Nightingale from Anna NPCs mod. Towns, Villages, Cities, Skyrim itself. Expanded and hopefully more lore friendly.

**005**

**16th of Sun’s Dawn, 4E 200**

Hundreds and thousands of specs of light scattered across the dark view, twinkling almost rhythmically making it even more mesmerizing to look at. For what seemed like an eternity, you feel absolute bliss—both in mind and body. Free of earthly burdens and a mind clear of worries. The universe lets you rest, your spirit, your soul light as a feather being carried by a soft breeze and placed upon calm waters to float steadily. The world shook gently, rocking back and forth, lulling you as you become more and more enchanted by this magical imagery.

_ “Oh! Hang on, it’s kinda bumpy!” _

The tone was lighter, higher—a woman’s, and the moment she yelped, the ocean swallows you whole and spits you right back out. Hard wood hits the back of your head and you snap out of your lucid trance. The vivid light show was in fact the clear night sky and you’ve been staring at it for quite a while. _ ‘How long have I been sleeping?’ _ Without in need for much information, you immediately figured you’re in a carriage. Your eyes scan your surroundings while you try to recall what happened after you got paralyzed.

On your right side, there’s a female sitting next to a lantern. Her pale and golden short locks neatly pulled back in a ponytail revealing her... _ elven ears? _A Thal—no, her frame’s tinier than a warrior and she’s not wearing mage garbs. Plus, she’s holding a lute. A bard perhaps? But armed and in leather armor? Deciding you’re too dazed out to come into any conclusion besides that she’s not a threat, you tip your head to the other direction. There you see a familiar face wearing a pretty heavy set of armor. Not that he can’t move with it. He does seem to have the right build for that type of get up. It wasn’t old or new, though the scratches in it reflected by the light indicate that it did went through some battles from some time in the past. The man’s hair was gathered high in a bun with some of it not long enough to be tucked in. It suited him well. What was his name again?

_ Kaidan. _You remember that much. Good.

Kaidan sat at the end of your feet, his face turned towards the direction your ride is going, arms crossed tightly with the sword resting on his chest. That’s when you realized he saved you from Cyrelian and the others. By reflex, you got up and by ‘got up’ it means you jerked yourself up only to be countered by the immense pain the sudden movement caused your body. You hissed, instantly getting Kaidan’s attention as well as waking up the elf beside you.

“Whoa. Take it easy.” The red eyed man warns you, telling you that you still haven’t recovered from the battle. Haven’t you two won the fight? You’re good to go after that spell finally wore off you bet! “I think I’m fine already. I can now move, look—_ argh! _” You made an attempt to wave your left hand and instantly regretted the act. Having your right hand reflexively reach for it, you felt medical bandages covering most of your left arm and chest.

“Oww.” A silent whimper escaped you and Kaidan shares a chuckle with the elf for some reason.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The man shrugs as he aids the lady in steadying you to a sitting position you’re comfortable with. Kaidan looks away while the elf realigns the blanket covering your body. A brief moment of silence passed when the stranger picks up the cue, “My name is Lyra. Lyra Nightingale.” She introduces herself. “The one over there is my friend, Anduniel. We’re both adventuring bards.” You follow where she points, and see that there’s another elf riding the front of the carriage. Her waist long, thick hair was also styled in a high ponytail, and it nears the shade of bright orange under the lantern. She glances back, smiles and wave at you. “It’s a pleasure my lady. I’m glad we came just in time. Those Thalmors could be really cruel without reason.” The elf comments from her spot, barely shifting her head to keep a steady eye on the road. “Forgive me. That must have sounded a bit biased coming from a bosmer as I am. Why don’t I let Lyra do the retelling? I’ll just focus on the road.” She giggles. Kaidan wonders quietly if they are naive to be traveling the roads this time of the night or foolishly courageous. But the road you lot are following seems peaceful enough.

Both you and Kaidan turn your attention to Lyra who bites her lower lip, thinking of where to start. “We came across some distraught citizens on our way to Ivarstead.” She says, “They said they’re running away from a Thalmor Outpost. So we followed the road until we arrived at the bridge overlooking the said outpost. We...” She paused to examine your reactions before continuing, “_ Ahem _. We’re not really fond of politics but it’s hard to turn a blind eye when we saw the condition of those escapees.” Her thin brow furrows for a moment. “Andy and I agreed we’d help if there are more prisoners escaping so we searched for a way to get inside.” Your memories roll back to seeing an empty hall inside the basement room leading to a dark passage.

“I see.” tilting your head, you meet her eyes. “I assume you found a tunnel somewhere near the place?”

“Yes. That’s where we saw him carrying you in his arms. This man said you fought valiantly. And judging from what we saw, it was certainly quite the battle, hmm?” She nods her head at Kaidan who glances back at you.

Yeah, some battle it was huh? If it weren’t for the bountiful amount of scrolls at your disposal, you would have burned to crisp the moment Cyrelian threw his fire spells at you since you already used the last of your magicka in healing Kaidan’s wounds. Hell, if it weren’t for some otherworldly apparition letting you free in the first place, you wouldn’t even be able to start your killing spree at all. '_ Well at least I actually killed all of them. I hope. The last thing I really need right now is a surviving Justiciar on my tail.' _and as you ponder on the consequences of your action, Lyra proceeds with the story.

“The amount of blood and wound on you was alarming. But it was nothing a basic healing magic cannot patch up. Andy strongly suggests you visit a proper healer soon, though.” She brings her hands together dramatically and feigns a swoon, “Oh, it was most heroic and romantic, if I might add!” Lyra beams, “‘A young maiden prays for help and the Gods send the brave and mysterious traveler to save her. Together, they guard each others’ backs against their foes, coming out wounded but in the end, finding victory... _ and love _.’ Turn that into an epic and a story like that will be written along with countless others in books for generations of music to come.” the elf hums and you see Kaidan sending you a look you could only interpret as awkward and uncomfortable. But he’s been pretty quiet throughout the dialogue. It only came to you that he’s the one who convinced these girls to lend you a helping hand and he’s just being courteous by letting this bard have her fun. So it falls unto you to do the talking.

“Err.. Apologies. We’re not really in good spirits with the Thalmor, especially after what we did to get out of there.” You tell them in hushed tones, “Maybe having our details sang into a ballad would not be in our best interests?” you tell the bards as harmlessly as you could.

Anduniel laughs giddily, “Lyra, oh dear, this is no time to be talking about your compositions. Please, forgive my friend. She’s just zealous when it comes to writing potential songs.” She politely notes, though amusement was rather obvious in her tone. “The Divines are good. I’ve been dreading to find inspiration for this special day in Tamriel and they’ve given me exactly what I’ve been asking for.” The blonde haired elf chirps, completely ignoring her friend. “Don’t worry. If it is to keep you safe, I’ll spare the physical details and your names. It is all I can do in exchange for letting me take elements from our encounter.”

Noticing the tension leave Kaidan, you weren’t surprised when he finally found the confidence to speak his mind, “_ Special _ day in Tamriel? What do you mean?” he queries. “Oh.. Right. I hope my forgetfulness did not offend.” Lyra’s bright and jolly smile slightly drops as a tiny glimmer of sadness crosses her eyes. Of course she didn’t mean to forget that both of you were locked under a dungeon and lost track of time. Pretty sure a person with their profession doesn’t meet escaped prisoners very often.

“Today is the 16th of Sun’s Dawn,” She starts, waiting if either of the people she’s talking to is familiar with it. “People call it ‘Heart’s Day’. It’s a commonly celebrated holiday even here in Skyrim.”

_ Skyrim _. Ah, now that’s where you are. It does ring a bell, but you’d need to find a book to properly reintroduce you to these names.

“To be honest, Lyra and I were actually heading to Vilemyr Inn to play songs, earn a living you know, though we plan to finish the holiday by departing to Riften. The road can get a bit too crowded if we left with other travelers.” Anduniel informs the two friendly strangers behind from her seat.

Lyra gasps and claps her hand. “Andy you’re a genius!” she exclaims lively, earning a bit of shushing from her companion to which she mumbles a quick apology. Her ears twitch a bit as she leans closer to both of you. “We did say we’re heading to an inn. As performing bards, they’ll give us free rooms and a meal. Our brave lady here needs a place to rest her wounds but I’m afraid we can’t spare you enough gold to avail one. Resting in the wilds wouldn’t be on top of my list, too.” she grins widely as she goes on, “During Heart’s Day, it’s part of the celebration for innkeepers to offer loving couples a free room to stay in. You two can pose as one! Come on, don’t tell me you wouldn’t take this chance!” the silly elf cheers like a child receiving sweets. You and Kaidan gawk at each other at the suggestion and you internally admit you’re too worn out to deny the temptations of a warm and cozy bed to rest on. “Why so silent? Don’t shy away from each other. You two make a lovely couple!” Anduniel calls out from her spot, sharing Lyra’s childish teasing.

“I.. I don’t know if that’s really something my companion here would be comfortable with.” The snarky and ferocious man you met was actually fumbling with his words as his eyes refused to meet any of the girls’. You never thought Kaidan would look so stupidly funny grunting and looking away, flustered as he is. But then again you’ve only been with this man for a couple of hours. Maybe a couple more would help the two of you shake off the horrendous experience from that rotten prison.

“Nah. Works for me.” You shrug, “We’ll _ consider _ it!” Kaidan counters just as fast and you held back a strong urge to laugh at him when he shifts towards you almost instantly, eyes wide with disbelief. “Alright. Whatever decision you come to, the offers only up until today.” Lyra couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear as she departed. Anduniel whistles, getting everyone’s attention. “We’re almost there, everyone. And among the early ones, too, I believe!” the bosmer cheers and Lyra excuses herself to take a seat beside the coachwoman.

Kaidan takes in the scenery; moonlight giving the treetops a lush, crystal-like glow. Shadows casted on the dirt road are enhancing the tranquil vibe of traveling at night creates. Skyrim is a dangerous place, but traversing such a breathtaking land sure seems worth the risk. Not long after taking the turn, torch lights and colorful lanterns came into view. A few numbers of individuals can also be seen walking towards the same direction as several paths, including the one their carriage took, join the main road.

“That's a lot of early comers. Is Ivarstead that big?” You inquired, without really having a picture what Ivarstead is although its name is no stranger to your memories. “Not really. Probably some of them wanting to celebrate first with Kyne’s blessings and there are also those who pay their respects by leaving supplies to the Greybeards up in High Hrothgar.” Kaidan explains. You nod, gently pulling away the blanket that’s been keeping you from freezing only to stop when you got a peek inside.

“Wow, you guys didn’t really let me keep anything on except this _ luxurious _pants.” You remarked at your old prison trousers, feeling a little bit sheepish for trying to get rid of your coverings earlier. “The robe you got on was blood stained and beyond repair. That elf, Anduniel, insisted to get you clean ones if they were to stop you from bleeding to death. It’s nothing to cry over.” He scoffs. There it is. That snippy tone you were greeted with before. Enjoying the way this man responds to your sarcasm, you prod on, planning to keep up the teasing.

“Hey, I only got into that spot because I was trynna retrieve your sword.”

“Don’t make it sound like I forced you to do it. I asked you to help _ me _. You’re the one who got yourself almost killed until I checked in to save your hide.” He sharply replies.

“Ha! I thought you only came back for the sword after I hopefully cleared the way for you.” You snigger back.

Suddenly he leans closer than you’re comfortable with, his thick brows furrowed. “You really think I’m some lowlife scum who only thinks about his own skin?” You knew he didn’t really intend for it to steer that way but there’s a twinge of bitterness in his tone. “Is that why you think the Thalmor did what they did to me?” That didn’t take long. Though of course you can thank the fact that you don’t remember much about the time you spent getting tortured. He does, however, and it’s clear the memory’s still very much fresh. “Relax swordsman. I’m pulling your leg,” you chuckle, “I’m sorry alright?”

Kaidan squints and groans. “I may appear like one of those brainless thugs with too much ego and zero intellectual capability but I wouldn’t leave a person who risks themselves like that..” He spoke gently, and with much more sincerity this time, looking intently to your eyes. “…Even if they were nothing but a stranger to me.” He says and breaks the eye contact before things get awkward. “I can’t thank you enough. I know you didn’t have to help me.” He says, eyes lowered as his fingers trace the hilt of the sword.

Now you just really feel bad. “You know, I might just find your company more than amusing despite you being close to a mute.” You tease, but in hopes of lightening the mood this time around. “I dearly hope you do not snore so loudly.” and you watch as his solemn expression be overcome with bafflement. “Wha—you really plan on going through with it?” The man glances at the girls a few times as he questions his wounded companion. “Have you no dignity? That privilege is exclusively honored for-” “For couples. Yes. So we’ve been told.” you cut him off, and you’re not sure anymore if it’s just the increase in light sources but his face almost blends in with his tattoo given how flushed he is. “But where would you have me put in this condition?” You lean towards him, whining, “I cannot travel or hunt. Yet. Unless you’re planning on leaving me?” You pulled out your best pout but instead of disgruntling him, it seems like he’s actually falling for it. Silently waiting for a response, your mind began to pray, _ ‘Oh gods above please forgive me for taking such joy in this man’s pureness.’ _

“No! It’s not that..” Kaidan began to look more and more conflicted, though you’re not really sure why he’s so worried about spending the night with you in the same bed. It’s not like anyone of you will be slitting the others’ throat when the other falls asleep. Wait, he’s not really thinking you’d do that to him, is he?

The dark haired man takes in a deep breath, seemingly ready to spill out his thoughts. “Listen, I owe you my life, and I’m not a man who’s comfortable being in debt.” he pauses and you observe the man before you as he continues with little confidence, “Obviously, you could use the same help. Err.. If all of you really think this will help, then I’d be willing to give it a try. Kynareth knows I could use some mead and a warm bed.” scratching the back of his head, Kaidan could only sink in a pool of embarrassment as his companion bursts out in joyous laughter along with the two others.

* * *

Wilhelm has never seen such life inside his inn for quite a long time since the war broke out. Having Anduniel and Lyra entertain the incoming guests with their talents surely is worth the deal. He would have even paid them twice if it weren’t for the holiday couples keeping his rooms occupied for free. But he always honored the traditions passed on by older generations. For now, a free room and a day’s worth of good meal is all he can ever hope to offer.

“How are you doing, girls? You’ve certainly surpassed my expectations, I must say! Why, I even had to open much earlier because of these travelers eager for rest after the long road. You did this old man a huge help by soothing them with your songs.” He cackles, his voice echoes loudly in this medium sized hall, and you watch as he hands the two bards freshly made vegetable soups. They converse some more about work and income and the name Lynly or something was heard among those lines but you paid very little attention when all you could think about was your growing craving for a bowl of warm stew.

“Ready?” Kaidan taps your shoulder. “I’m telling you right now, I can’t do all the negotiating here.” He shakes his head, complaining about something trivial like the lack of armor and protection in his common clothing. “It’s called _ common _ by the seamstress for a reason, _ my love _ .” Selling what’s left of your loot from the outpost provided only enough to get you medical supplies and a fresh set of simple attire. And he hasn’t heard a single complaint about how tight on the chest these dresses are. But the vendor insists on it if you want your dagger concealed. You wore the most charming smile your face can make and he definitely didn’t receive it kindly. “Don’t even expect me to-.. _ you’ve gotta be kidding me _.” You hear him swear as quietly possible when the innkeeper made his way to greet you.

“Another fine and young couple walks inside my inn! Should I start telling the villagers that my rooms are still open for the public and not just the newly wed?” Wilhelm enthusiastically showers the two with flattery as he guides them to an unoccupied table. “So, where did you two hail from? Looks like you caught the rougher roads.” He nods at Kaidan’s still visible bruises as he fixes the table. “Er.. We uhm-.. The road is uhh—” “You’re right. To be honest, we were camping just north of here when some roaming bandits caught us at a disadvantage.” Easily catching him, you nudge his arm lightly and he nods his head to whatever you’re saying. “Those heartless men took whatever they could while my husband was out hunting for food.” You fake a whimper.

Wilhelm’s eyes were smeared with sympathy, “Ahh. A hunter! He does have the build for it, if not too much. Haha! I’m kidding.” the old nord engages, “But what about you, lass? By the looks of it, those wretches did more than take your belongings. I could recommend you to one of my acquaintances.” Innkeepers sure are talkative, but they’ve got good eyes. You nod and send Kaidan a quick glance, “I thank you, sir. If I were more agile I might have dodge that slash. Alas, my only option was to run where my husband was and he scared ‘em away already.” He seems to be relieved with how you’re improvising as Wilhelm definitely looks like he’s buying it. “I see. Gods have blessed you both. But earlier today, just when I was opening the store, I thought I saw the two of you riding in those elves’ carriage? Do you by chance have any relations with them?” He inquires, and your improv skills are being stretched by the second. “We uhm.. Met them a bit after we moved out. Anduniel was kind enough to offer us a helping hand and Lyra was the one who gave me first aid. They said they were going to Ivarstead as well so they had us join them.” You finish with a faint smile. You tug your companion’s hem under the table to ask for help.

“I should have known! Of course. But you said you were heading here? Whiterun has a Temple for the wounded.” This man will keep talking unless his curiosity is satisfied. They’ve got to end the conversation somehow.

The red-eyed swordsman gently puts his arm around you, careful not to put too much pressure on your wounded area. “Aye, it has. But it’s a special day today all across Tamriel.” He scoops you close and you play along, smiling as endearing as you can as you reach his hand and entwining your fingers. “We planned to climb the 7,000 steps and pray for Kyne’s blessing just as Mara has blessed our union.” He sighs, “Err.. Though, I’m not sure we’d be able to achieve that today. Maybe we’ll just find a safe place to camp outside after and pray to her there.” Kaidan’s warm gaze could fool anyone. Even Lyra and Anduniel who’re both busy gushing from afar as they consume their meal. It might even get to you if you weren’t aware this was _ your _ plan to begin with.

“Bah. No need for that trouble, friends. The sun’s still high up and I’ve got more rooms in need of occupants!” Wilhelm flashes a wide smile, “Take one of my rooms, lad. It’s Heart’s Day today, Mara only knows, I’d be a cursed fool to turn away such a brave couple with faiths as strong as their bond! Here. That one’s the room first one to your right. Just a floor above us.” he tosses Kaidan a key. “There’s a bathhouse in the basement and I’ll have Lynly attend your needs right away. Blessings be upon you, travelers.” the innkeeper finally leaves your table as another woman greets you, taking your orders.You chuckle lowly when you see Kaidan grumbling as he drops the act and watch the two bards snicker at you from their barstools.

* * *

The afternoon went along just fine. You hoped you would have done some investigation on your belongings and the swordsman’s connection with you and the Thalmor. But as it turns out, the spirit of celebration has seeped into your bones. As you dine on your bowl of stew, time flies too fast this day and before you know it, the sun has already set. People have come and gone and bards have played to their heart's content. Getting up from your seat, you followed the path towards the kitchens.

_ 'The whole morning has been spent on selling some loot and patching up my wounds. By noon, we visited a caravan nearby to acquire clothes. It was already past midday when we went here and got a room, bathed and ate… and then…' _ Listing down the things you’ve accomplished is a bit of a letdown. _ 'I can’t believe I’ve made too little progress with all the time passed.' _ You quietly peeked outside, watching men, women, and some children dancing and singing by the fire as Lyra plays the lute like a natural. Though you have a hard time recollecting if you have any idea of what’s going on, you allow yourself to be merry. _ 'At least they’re happy.' _ You smiled and thank the cook as he hands you another bowl. This time you decided to depart from the infectious liveliness of the crowd and eat your meal in the quiet company your room offers.

_ “Is that your fifth bowl of stew?” _

The accusation made you jump in surprise. The one who spoke those words? Not so much. When you turn around, you see Kaidan coming up the stairs and taking a swig out of his drink. “Yes. And that’s your seventh bottle ever since you got out of the bathhouse.” You nonchalantly replied, unlocking the room. “It’s just ale. Something to fight the cold with. No need to sweat it, woman.” He chuckles lightly. A tipsy Kaidan is a happy Kaidan—you ought to take note of that. You return his smile politely and seeing as he’s also enjoying the celebration, you decided to leave him be. There’s always time to talk business tomorrow.

You were halfway inside the room when you didn’t hear the door close. Upon looking back, the intoxicated man is leaning and holding it open, yet he hesitates to take a step inside. He didn’t intend to speak. Not yet. Not with the way he’s looking at you with those guarded eyes, burning crimson red under the light that comes from the small fireplace inside. It didn’t hold any ill intent. It just lingered. Sizing you up as if he’s still unsure whether you’re a threat to him or not. He’s a lot harder to read than you expected. Raising an eyebrow, you speak coolly, “Well are you coming in? You’re letting the cold in, _ Kaidan _.” You let the name roll a bit on your tongue, trying to familiarize yourself with the strangeness of it. His stoic expression shifted in a slightly surprised one when you called him by name, though. A smirk forms on his face and he rolls his eyes, taking another swig.

“You know, I’m curious about you.” He says, keeping his eyes locked on you as if you’re a cornered prey. _ His _ cornered prey. “You show up in a disguise, fresh and unscathed as a noble blood, yet you tell me you were brought in as a prisoner. _ With me _. I was starting to think those bigots were just snatching any person they see to torture but now I’m suspecting there’s more to it, especially with how you single handedly decimated their outpost from the inside. I’m not in any position to judge… but what were you really in for?”

‘Decimated’ is a pretty strong word to describe a simple gambit.

You placed your meal on the table nearby, and slumped down on a chair. “Is this the part where I tell sob stories about myself? Because I won’t. I _ can’t. _ To add to that, I really don’t feel like talking with the fires burning out due to someone holding the bloody door wide open.” You snap at him, arms crossed and patience riding into a wall. Being under medication sure is tough. It shortens one’s temper. To your surprise, Kaidan just laughs. _ “Huh. I feel like I’m the one being teased right now.” _ You quietly observe as he finishes his bottle of ale. “Well I don’t mind enduring your company either but I’ll be a lot more trusting if you would at least tell me something about yourself…” he slowly closes the distance as he speaks, voice sounding husky due to the slightly drunken state he’s in. Receiving no response, he shrugs, “How about a name, then? I gave you mine didn’t I?” He stands just a few steps in front of you.

A name! Of course. Not much has happened ever since you woke up in the back of the carriage but it never occurred to you that you haven’t given him or anyone else your name. That’s an easy thing to solve if only you remembered it.

Meeting his melting gaze, you stood up and brazenly entered his space, finding any words to say as he stares you down. Not one to back down from a double win situation, you gather your voice.

“LYNLY IS THAT YOU? BE A DEAR AND COME OVER HERE!” You hollered, but in an unhurried way.

Kaidan acknowledged the rushed footsteps heard on the wooden floor but kept his sights clutched on you. You admire the determination in his eyes, enjoyed it even, but you didn’t sought him out for an occasional staring contest. There’re questions in need of answers. Finally reaching your doorstep, a fair woman pops up in view, wearing a bright and polite smile on her face. “Yes, ma’am?”

You greeted the young nord with a friendly wave. “It’s pretty late for us to bring the celebration outside. If it isn’t too much trouble, can you have someone take a barrel of mead here? We’d like to end this holiday with each other’s company.” Brandishing a small piece of jewel and tossing it to her, you winked and the maiden meekly smiles, her cheeks flushing. “Of course, ma’am. I’d be happy to help.” She chirped and disappeared into the halls. You return your attention to Kaidan, now with a more impressed opinion about you. “Where did you even find that jewel?” His teeth flashed with the silly grin spreading across his face. “Just found it on some wasted noble’s pocket.” You shrug, “Now close the damn door already,” you gently pushed him and he complies. "We’re going to need some privacy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Aaah I am sorry MxR if any of this becomes unimmersive in the long run! Probably not but still!)


	7. Warming up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past 24 hours has taken its toll. The two drink together in their room and share a bit about themselves. But it's not travelers befriending each other. For now... It's safer to call it just two survivors resting in the same place.

**006**

**Warming Up**

“This is ridiculous. Are you sure you’ve read all of these right? You could’ve missed something.” Kaidan says in a gruff voice, taking a sip from the mug.

“You tell me. I’m not the one chugging down mead while reading. Maybe  _ you’re _ the one getting woozy.” You scoffed passed him and he grunts back, busy as a bee with his own set of pages. Swapping papers and readable contents, the two of you arrange the items by date on top of the bed.

Kaidan puffs and sits on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair before bringing his mug for another swig. “Hey slow down!” You snatched the mead from his grasp, taking it for your own, and he protests but lets you away with it anyway. “I paid for these remember? I’ve barely touched it, so learn to share.” Casting him a side glance, you poured half to your mug.

“Oh that’s rich coming from someone who won’t tell me anything 'cept she remembers nothing at all.”

“I’m saying I don’t remember a lot of things because that’s the  _ truth! _ ” You defend, “Why else would I seek you out when I could have just sprinted out of that damn prison? Oh yes. That’s because the damn report says we were caught  _ together _ . It’s only logical to escape with the person you’re travelling with—or at least assume you’re associated with, yes?” You shoved his drink back, as you gulf down yours, pacing around the room. He gapes at the restless woman, probably wanting to say something as a counter argument but thought better to shut his mouth because he actually agrees. “Fair point.” He murmurs just before the liquid in his drink reaches his lips. “But—”

Oh boy, here it goes.

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t doubt those mages can create such an abomination of a spell. The only thing is... I do  _ NOT _ know you. I remember those bastards jumping at me, though, and then getting knocked out. I’ve been travelling alone ever since I took up some bounty hunting a few years back. Wherever the hell d’you fit in that picture, I’ve no clue.” The man breathes out the last parts of the statement, shaking his head as he got up and reach for the barrel conveniently placed on the table next to the bed. As he takes his sweet time to refill, your eyes widen and with speed fast as lightning, Kaidan finds a few more papers flying at his feet by the time he’s done replenishing.

A groan escapes him, “Ysmir’s beard, woman. The hell are these?” The white of his eyes were almost hidden with how hard he’s squinting at the clutter growing around him. Settling back to his comfortable spot on the bed, he picks up several of it, as did you. “Look at these. Here. Bounty letters, are they not?” You push a handful of notes towards your fake lover, much to his discomfort. For a moment, he eyed you with contempt, and upon losing to the intense determination your eyes are holding, inhales deeply; the brown garment clothing his top rises and falls along with a heavy sigh. He skims through it swiftly, stopping short at one as his expression spoke recognition to what’s in front of him. “I remember some of these.” The sturdy man exclaims, “Over half a year ago, I think, I claimed these bounties. Collected the spoils myself from the hold’s court steward.” The corner of his lip curls up in a half smirk as he recalls his accomplishments. “Where’d you get these?”

She simply wore a thin smile. “In my belongings.” She says, though was not really sure. Divines know she was only following the labels on that outpost. “So you’re some sort of bounty hunter, eh? Looks to me like you were after the same bounties I picked recently.” Kaidan’s face lightens up as if he’d discovered a great universal mystery. “I remember having a target before I was caught. Maybe you were out there running on the same path I took and that’s why the Thalmor brought you in as well. Those fools assumed we were searching for the target together!” He grins widely, indulging over his own brilliance.

The woman raises an eyebrow, “So... You mean all this misfortune... Just because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time?” she asks with a dash of bemusement.

The man drinking his mead just shrugs his shoulders, “Not saying that’s it but it’s the closest conclusion we have with all the evidence you have on you so far.” He offers her a tight smile.

“That is absurd and unimpressive. But I’ll drink to that since I’ve nothing better going on for the moment anyway.” She chugs down and finishes her alcohol in a straight glug.

After refilling the newly emptied mug, her icy expression further drops into a frown. “I don’t know why it doesn’t feel fitting at all. I don’t know a single thing. Can’t even remember my own damn name, and before you ask, it sucks. It feels like being dropped in the middle of the ocean with no paddles or destination, just an empty boat with the wind free to take it wherever it pleases. I just want to go home in a normal house with a normal bed and kitchen.” The woman sniffles and let out a wry laugh, sliding down on the floor and leaning her back on the bed stand. “I don’t even know if I have those. A family, a pet, something close to that like a best friend...” She drinks her fill and Kaidan observes her, worry forming in his eyes. “...Maybe an actual spouse or  _ child _ ?” He adds very suddenly, even surprised by his own boldness. The alcohol must have been hitting him too soon. You stared at him, eyes wide and dumbfounded as he mimics your expression. Without a moment later, both of you bursts into laughter.

What a joy it is to be ignorant from all the bloodshed outside these walls.

“Can you imagine? Me? With a  _ CHILD _ ? Are you finally drunk, my ‘brave and mysterious savior’?” You slurred in between laughs as you beam from ear to ear. “Alright. That was stupid of me to jump that far.” He chuckles and wrinkles his nose. “For a second, though, it didn’t seem impossible for some with your looks.” You stopped shortly and met his eyes. His face is slightly flushed due to the stronger beverage and there’s a twinkle of fondness in his look.

“No,” Tilting your head so you can face him properly, you offer Kaidan a small and gentle smile. “I believe bonds as strong as that would call out to me no matter what. Those are ties etched in the heart and not easily dismissed by magic.” The smile vanishes. Turning your head towards the fireplace, you blink a few times before speaking up. “I think I’ve been already alone for quite some time before the prison. I just know it.”

“Aye. I know the feeling.” He gives the lady a sad smile, though she wasn’t looking anymore to see it returned. Just then, she raises her mug, wearing an expressionless face as small amounts of mead drips out from the gesture. “To scrambled brains.” She says, taking in large gulps of her beverage. Kaidan silently drinks and joins her in gazing at the fire.

For quite some time, they just sat in their respective spots. Both drinking at their own pace as the crackling of firewood and muffled tavern music filled their companies. Both basking in each other’s silence and the comforting warmth the tiny fireplace offered. Both enjoying the present, knowing they won’t know what life awaits them once they step outside of this hall. Kaidan, for the whole time he’d spent inside that prison,  _ and it did felt like a lifetime _ , never thought it would be this easy to fit right back into society. After all those nightmarish interrogations and the endless beating, constantly trying to make a dent in his being, every wound he acquired from that place—he had loosened his grip on hope, but thanks to this woman, he’s now enjoying a barrel of mead and a warm bed in a free room, with his possessions back in his hands. The man owed her more than he’d like to admit. Maybe helping her along in return until she recovers wouldn’t be too bad to show his gratitude. By then, they can at least part ways properly.

“What’s it feel like?”

As if his mind decided on its own, he broke the silence. The woman didn’t look at him but stopped halfway to her next sip. For half a minute, she just kept swilling her mead, eyes cast down and looking forlorn. Feeling like he’d come off too invasive, he quickly muttered an apology, “I-.. I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it.” He blurts out and noticed how her shoulders tensed.

“I’m trying.” She simply says.

Clueless to what she meant, Kaidan could only respond in a way anyone would when presented with a confusing dialogue, “What?”

“Said I’m trying.” She slurred a bit, despite her attempt to hide it.  _ 'Oh. Mead’s kicked in, huh.' _ He wanted to take his turn in teasing her but his mind refused. “It’s blank.” She sips another, “Some falls back naturally. Mannerisms, habits, preferences in trivial stuff like food, color, flavour... then there’s my instinct. Fundamental stuff like that. Combat reflexes and muscle memories. I guess the spell may have removed my memory but not who I am.” Though her words were swaying, Kaidan didn’t found any difficulty picturing what she’s trying to paint. “Is that so? Then wouldn’t that be the perfect ground for a fresh start at life?” Hearing her say those things made it sound so intriguing for him—despite the complete resentment in her face as she describes her situation. “Part of me thought of that. But that’s not how life is supposed to work.” The words struck deep to his core.

Of course. It’s one thing to wish and actually experience it. How could he be so self centered? This isn’t about what he’d do in her position. He knew that. Although deep down inside, there’s a voice inside him that begs to differ. He’s doing whatever he can to somehow find redemption and despite all of that, Kaidan knew he’d take the opportunity to forget a lot of things in a heartbeat. But she was right. Life doesn’t let one forget what made them who they are today. It shouldn’t.

With the creasing of her brows, the lady spoke hoarsely, “I think I made really bad decisions before. I don’t want it chasing me all my life.” Finally setting her eyes on him, she leans just close enough that she doesn’t touch his leg. “You read that mage’s research and heard my story. You want to know why I can’t give you a name? It’s because I’m a coward.” She sneers, “In the most crucial part of the ritual, I…” she pauses, eyes roaming away for a moment trying to find the right words to match the image she had but to no avail,“..let’s just say, ‘backed out’, for lack of better description. And now... and now all I have are broken shards of memories I don’t even recognize no matter how hard I try.” She smirks bitterly and goes back to drinking. “Until now, there’s a part of me still scared to find out how much of a mess I was before they captured me. I know... It doesn’t make any sense.”

Sure, she was speaking unclearly, an evident sign of drunkenness, but Kaidan knew each sentence she just mumbled out was stained with disappointment.

“You’re really gonna go for it despite being unsure if you’ll like the truth, yeah? That’s actually really brave, y’know.” His tone was more serious and she casts him a quick glance. He wasn’t drinking anymore, just resting his arms on his knees and staring her down again with those piercing red orbs. Heat slowly began creeping up her face. ‘Shouldn’t have drank too fast’ is what she says to herself but that’s just a poor excuse to deny her embarrassment from being caught off guard. She wasn’t really expecting him to be paying full attention to her ramblings. But it felt nice to have someone willing to listen and be patient with her as she collects her words.

Despite being partly undecided, you nod, “Well it’s supposed to come back to me even when I ultimately delayed the process. I’m not sitting around waiting for how long that’ll take.” you finish the statement with a loud groan, “It’s such a bother, really. But if I don’t pursue this, I’ll just feel like I’m not really living at all.” you gazed at the ceiling, lids feeling slightly heavier than you’re aware of. Kaidan just laughs under his breath.

“Agreed.”

The two of you share the next hour talking about how noisy the Nords can be when celebrating in a tavern. Though nothing more personal has been shared as both of you take turns in emptying the barrel, you banter on, washing away the previous event’s fatigue with casual conversations. He shares his various experiences of holidays he knows of throughout his travels in Skyrim and some other provinces which you can vaguely remember due to your mind slipping in and out of consciousness. Soon enough, the swordsman receives no response from his companion and his initial assumptions were proven true when he leans over and sees you sleeping soundly with your back against the wooden stand.

He can hardly picture her doing the things written on the Thalmor’s reports looking as she is right now. Then again, he’s all too familiar how deceitful looks alone can be. Worried that she might be uncomfortable, he scoops her up and lays her down to the side of the bed that’s touching the wall. Wouldn’t want her having a nightmare and fall off the bed only to accidentally cast a powerful destruction spell and burn the whole inn now, would he?

Kaidan picks up the papers beside the woman one by one, wishing he was less intoxicated to do some cleaning up. As he organizes the mess, he realized he hasn’t talked that much with someone else in a long time. Even when he was out getting drunk with fellow bounty hunters on some nights, it never occurred to him to trade words this much with anyone, much less enjoy it. She could be that special or maybe it was the mead she bought that was extraordinary. It mattered little. There’s a great weight inside of him that’s just been lifted and he’s grateful for being able to feel such a thing.

_ 'Heh. Maybe this is why some people turn to prayers instead when in distress.' _ He chuckled to himself. This woman keeps surprising him—and he only knew her for about a day. A skilled caster, adept reader, healer, and has a thing for picking pockets as he just witnessed earlier. For a person taught and raised in a rather  _ brutish _ way, he admits he lacked the poise and patience needed for addressing problems without the bloodying of his steel or fists. He wasn’t as hot headed and drawn to conflict as the next nord but he’s aware he harbors some similarities with their attitude. Surprisingly, this nameless lady showed promise not only in those previously mentioned but also in honest combat. She might not be that good but seeing that she’s almost a jack of all trades who can manage her own in some level, he was relieved. He just got his freedom back. But his stubbornness wouldn’t let him off without being able to repay the one who handed it to him. He was dead serious when he gave his word to travel by her side but it’ll just be a massive pain in the arse if he had to do some hellish babysitting.  _ 'Accompanying her wouldn’t be too troublesome.'  _ Kaidan thought as he packed the last piece of paper in the bag Anduniel and Lyra gave them.

Those bards were also helpful. Skyrim could use more of those especially within the ongoing civil war between the Stormcloaks and the Imperials. What was it now? Three or four years give or take? After the Great War, the Empire has been terribly damaged and its forces, control, and power have exponentially decreased. That war included a lot of Nord blood spilled on foreign soil defending  _ the Empire  _ itself. It only made sense that these honor driven people will feel betrayal when that damn peace treaty was signed, effectively banning worship of Talos—the very god-hero Nords worship strongly with the other Divines. So when a considerable portion of this country rose up to rebellion against the Empire, it didn’t really surprised Kaidan. Though it wasn’t any helpful at all that these Stormcloak rebels want to make Skyrim independent and ripe for the Dominion’s reaping, the Imperials were just as bad when they started rolling over their backs and let those filthy Thalmors stomp on their lands and impose their doctrine. Either way, it didn’t made sense for Kaidan, if anyone asks him, and he would most certainly avoid picking a side as much as possible. Their homeland is torn apart as men spills his brothers’ blood, small scaled wars are breaking out on different parts of Tamriel, Morrowind buried in ash, High elves strutting about as they claim supremacy above all creatures, and the Empire not being able to do anything about it at all.

_ It’s the bloody end of the world. _

His mind soon started to swirl and his vision blurring out of focus. The fireplace and even the small lantern on the table became hard to stare at without feeling his head nodding off. What was the word she used? Ah,  _ woozy _ . That sounds a bit funny now that he tries to repeat it. But he’d be honest he didn’t really knew what it meant, so he just made a low grunt in response earlier. All he knows is Religion and Politics are just terribly tiresome to discuss or even think about for that matter. Too tiresome, in fact, that he immediately fell asleep when his worn out body hit the bed.


	8. Daydreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travelling? Without proper preparation? A little visit to the shops might push the two strangers closer... or farther. er.. Pray to the gods they start on the right foot. Or at least form a better opinion of the other.

** 007 **

** Daydreams **

Thin rays of light peek through the window, birds have started singing and chirping, the mill creaks loudly as it cuts down log after log. Morning has officially come and the village wakes. The noisy tavern has returned to being silent as a grave with only some of its current clients wandering about down the hall to get their meals before departing. Few of the rooms were still occupied, and in one of those, a fake couple spent the night on the same bed.

The snapping of twigs could be heard no more, indicating that the fire must have already gone out for a while. The outside noise becomes busier and busier by the passing of time, yet Kaidan didn’t want to open his eyes just yet. The furs his bed offered are just too warm and soft; he’s pretty sure there’s nothing that could make him rise up from this heavenly comfort. That persistence was pretty short lived when the unsheathing of a blade was heard right next to him.

With speed and reflex seasoned from numerous battles, Kaidan rolled over just in time to dodge the dagger which stabbed the bed instead. Darting his eyes up, he comes face to face with the woman he had shared this bed with, eyes flooded with angry confusion.

“Hey! Are you still drunk!?”

His question fell on deaf ears as the woman, having success fully pulled out the dagger, swings the blade towards him once more, huffing with great effort due to her injuries. “Where in oblivion did you even get that!? Wait, were you hiding that this whole time? Nevermind, just stop this instant!” Luckily for him, it’s easy to disarm her when she’s wielding the weapon with her injured arm. He easily evades her feeble movements, taking the confrontation around the room until his back was against the door. Before he could open it completely, his roommate manages to push all her weight at his direction. But Kaidan has more leverage in this kind of combat. He swiftly redirects the attack as he sidesteps, hopefully reducing her impact at the door. The door slides open as she collides on it with a loud thump and Kaidan winces at the sound that escaped her.

_ 'Geez. That definitely did not felt good for her arm.' _He cringes at the sight of her curling in pain on the stone floor.

Her figure trembles as she strained to get up, and he silently wished she’d snap out of whatever’s gotten into her already. Instead, a much more furious pair of blue eyes locks on him. “Come on, what’s wrong with you!?” He shouts, but his frustration is only matched with more grunting and aimless slashing.

Finally fed up with her, Kaidan takes direct action and deflects the next downward slash, griping tight of her arm just enough until he gets a pained whimper from her. She inhales sharply as her wounded arm starts to sting, making her let go of the dagger. The man eases a bit but was caught off guard when she catches the blade with her right hand. She was shoved away but was quicker this time around, being able to give him a light wound as the steel cuts through the light fabric of his shirt. Stumbling back to the bed, Kaidan lets out a loud curse as he shuts his eyes tightly and raises a free hand for defence.

But the dagger didn’t hit him.

“Kaidan? Wait—what the hell?”

The woman finally spoke as if she just broke out of a trance and threw away the dagger she’s pointing at him. Kaidan quickly opened his eyes, taking full view of how disoriented his companion is. Her face is making at least six different confused expressions in rapid successions, if that is even possible. It’s evident that she’s still not fully _in _there yet with her eyes darting around the room, in her dress, her limbs. Okay, this is just confusing him now as well. The red eyed swordsman clears his throat and it seemed to catch her attention. Good.

“Uhh.. You remember my name?”

“You’re... Free? That means...” Further falling into perplexity, her hands started to glow and produce faint hints of fire in it as she enters into a ‘combat ready’ kind of posture.

“Whoa, whoa. We’re in an inn! In a village!”

Kaidan held his hands up, trying to calm her down. She drops her magic, entering a new realm of bewilderment, much to his awe. He never knew a human face can create such varied expressions for but a single emotion.

“Village? Where’s Cyrelian?” She whispered, frowning.

“Cyre—_ who _? The Justiciars, you mean? We already defeated them, remember?” Kaidan relays to her, part by part.

Her eyes sparked some acknowledgement, “I... I-I yes.. We... were in a carriage..” she stammers nervously and realization washes over her. “_ Damn bloody memory! _” She growls, hitting her head multiple times then burying her face in her hands.

Kaidan notices her ears flush as humiliation engulfs her. “Hey. No need to be ashamed. Both of us had a rough journey. You especially with all that excruciating spell still probably fiddling with your brain.” He comforts her and she nods slowly to his words, “Also...You probably drank too much for your limit, though. That’s why...” Kaidan flails his hand on the scene they created. Furniture having stabbed marks, lantern and candles off the table, one chair is missing a leg, that empty barrel of mead squashed to pieces. “...yeah.”

Falling face down on the spot beside him, the woman lets out a long, dragging groan. “_ I am cursed. You’ll probably be safer if we part ways _...” She says out loud, her words muffled on the furs.

Kaidan dismissively asserts her, “Oi, don’t be like that to yourself. Whatever they did to you is not your fault.”

Her back shudders with her sarcastic laughter, “Are you sure?” She flips her face to his direction but remained planted on the bed.

“Of course I’m sure. What’re you saying?” He raises an eyebrow but didn’t receive any response.

Just like on cue, the stairs creaked. Footsteps treading on it halted for a second and they heard a woman gasp. Rushing on the open door, a ravishing dark haired beauty appeared, wearing a concerned look. She crosses her arms, red lips forming into a firm line and her curled locks drapes over down to her waist. The shade of her green dress and the outfit itself compliments her shape and fair complexion really well, though the attire was a _bit _lacking in this kind of cold weather. But who cares what other people want to wear anyway? That’s right. It certainly is not you. Her wrists and neck were adorned with a matching set of unique jewelry but it was her mesmerizing icy blue eyes which was the jaw dropper. Well... at least for you. Kaidan didn’t seem so pleased with the captivating human in front of you both—that’s to assume he even found her captivating to begin with. Landing your eyes on his brooding expression gave you the impression that he didn’t. Why is he more concerned about getting kicked out of an inn? _'Why aren’t you?' _The voice in your mind automatically responses and you wonder how weird it would make things if you yelled the words ‘SHUT UP’ right now.

“Well, well. You two sure seem so full of spirit this early.” She raises an eyebrow at the two who gawked at her in return. “I heard loud thumping and grunting over here so I came to take a look.” Playfulness briefly flashes in her eyes, “Not that I barge in on every room where thumping and grunting can be overheard. It’s Heart’s Day yesterday and it would just be impossible not to hear _a lot _of those inside tavern walls.” She quickly backtracks while giggling. With both of them aghast from what they’ve just been informed, the woman dissolves in laughter, “Oh dearest, you should see your faces! Haha.. I’m Zorya, by the way.” She breaks into tears, wiping away a drop with her finger.

Having trouble finding your voices only fuelled her amusement. She takes a moment to breathe and let it out with a fresh wave of calmness shrouding her. “Alright travellers, I promised those two to watch over and make sure you guys start your journey with enough supplies. I’ve already given Anduniel my word so I won’t let either of you off without at least eating.” She says, presenting a dazzling smile spread widely across her face.

“Anduniel? Where are they?”

You practically zoomed out of the room at the mention of her name, leaving Kaidan at loss for a moment. “That was fast.” He mumbles to himself. The lady followed up, “I thought they told you they’ll be leaving before daylight, my lady.” “Daylight? Oh no... We haven’t gotten to bid them farewell.” You send Kaidan a sad look to which he just scratches the back of his neck like it’s no big deal. _'Maybe for him.' _You rolled your eyes.

Zorya watched your shoulders slump and gave you a comforting pat. “No worries. If gods smile upon you, you’ll very likely to meet again along the roads or in another tavern.” She smiles warmly, “Come, my lady. I’ll have the cook prepare you and your companion a filling meal.” And the two of you nod in compliance.

* * *

Gold coins made rattling noises as some of it spilled out of the bag Zorya just dropped on your table. “What’s this?” You asked, slicing through your last piece of roasted goat leg.

“Anduniel and Lyra made a lot yesterday. Lots of generous tippers, too! They really worked earnestly, you know.” She slides in a chair beside you, “By the time they were leaving, Lyra’s voice was already scratchy and dry. She said she never had that much fun in the whole year.” Zorya’s eyes twinkled with delight as she recalls the celebration.

“Anyway, this is only a small portion of what they earned. They wanted you to use this in purchasing sufficient supplies for your travels. This,” she reaches on her back pocket and takes out a slightly bigger and heavier bag of septims, “..is for the smith outside.”

You basically felt your eyes transform into saucers! You bet Kaidan’s making the same—no. No, Kaidan is busy wolfing down a hearty bowl of horker stew. He’s practically not even moving his eyes off his food. You scoff lightly at this. Of course he doesn’t care; he’s already got himself a fine set of strong armor and essential weapons. What did you get out of that prison again? Right. A bunch of papers and burnt garbage of an outfit. But back again on this brutish man who won’t even let you get a share of that ale, ‘_ for valid reasons’ _he says. He probably doesn’t own a home with how much knowledge he has about camping and his constant travels around the northern continent just like he told you last night. Which leaves you to be the one who’ll benefit more from these spoiling. Wait, that isn’t so bad after all! But despite the idea, a lump forms in your throat.

“Zorya... We can’t accept all of these. It’s too much.”

Your previously silent companion chokes on his stew. Zorya covers her mouth to stifle a laugh. _'Ah, so he’s listening after all. Oops.' _Awkwardly ignoring what just happened was hard with this pretty lady beside you turning into an obvious shade of red from holding back her breath. “ _Ahem. _My friend, consider your companion’s uhm.. _Opinion _.” she giggles, her eyes momentarily loomed over Kaidan while he acts as if nothing happened but you could feel how anxious he is behind that mug of ale.

“After hearing what _actually _happened to the two of you in that... _Place _... I can see why those ladies want to impart you their gift.” The woman reaches for your hand, taking it in her own. Its softness and warmth easily fought off the cold better than the fireplace behind you did. You almost didn’t want to let go. “You’re injured and if you go out there, you really need some proper gear to survive the roads.”

Hesitantly looking over at Kaidan for advice, he only gives you a nod towards the money. “Well don’t keep staring at each other. The smith’s shop won’t be open all day.” he finishes his bowl and walks away from the table without care.

“Wha—hey! Is that a no or yes?! _OH! _”

“Come now!” Zorya pulls you away, flashing you a gleaming smile as she called for her sister to guard your things until the three of you gets back.

* * *

Shopping for gears didn’t take long. With a purse brimming with gold, most of the item in the store is practically available for you to pick on. The question is which ones can you actually work with? You look over your shoulder and see Kaidan asking for arrows and some minor tools which you presume are for basic maintenance like armor and weapon repairs. Zorya on the other hand, is busy scouting weather resistant items. You stood in the middle of the store, searching where you can throw yourself at. Slowly, you pick up the pace, feet taking you to the leather section. _'I’m not built for heavy lifting. I can cast some spells but I don’t have a solid count on how many I remember. Maybe I can work with lighter armors until I figure it out.' _ Brushing your fingers through some leather bracers, _'I think there’s also those shirts sold on the dressmaker’s place that caught my eye earlier.' _You smile to yourself as you find pieces that suit your taste.

The vendor huffed as he placed on the table a sack full of Nordic arrows. “You sure you want all of these, lad?” The blacksmith asked with a hint of suspicion in his tone. “Aye. As many as your quiver can hold. Won’t know what’s lurking out there.” Kaidan impassively responds, his eyes fixed on examining the quality of an arrow he picked.

“Hmph. I may not be the best smith in Skyrim but I put in all my hard work in crafting those. Quality won’t be an issue here, only how much of my items you can actually pay, _boy _.” The big brute tells him almost provokingly.

Irked by the blacksmith’s attitude, Kaidan drops more than enough gold pieces on the table.The old smith cracks a smug smile behind those bushy beard of his, “Going to battle eh? ‘Cuz it don’t look to me like you’re gonna use these for just animals. And truthfully speaking, you’re built ain’t that of an everyday hunter. You know, these arrows can pierce better than the ones they ship to Solitude. Can’t expect the Imperial City to care much about our war with those elves flooding their streets...” A whiff of yesterday’s wine comes out from his mouth as he rambles. Kaidan kept his thinning patience firmly intact.

_ Nords. _

Ever since Ulfric Stormcloak marched in on Solitude’s gates and murdered the High King of Skyrim, thus igniting the civil war, all anyone ever wanted to know is who you worship and which side of the war you’re in. If you believe in standing up for your people’s culture and faith, you’re a rebel. If you believe the best chance to drive back the Aldmeri Dominion is through patience and preparation, you’re a traitor. It’s a damn circus—Hell, maybe that’s even why there’re rarely traveling entertainers around at all. Daedric Princes must be laughing their wits out with all these blind hatred polluting the hearts and minds of the people.

“...so as I was asking you earlier,” the blacksmith grounds his drifting thoughts back to their conversation—well, it was more of a monologue but still. He takes up a weathered glove to scratch his messy beard and leans in, “Which side are you fighting for?” Wow. That went exactly the direction Kaidan was expecting it to. Religion and Politics. What a gods damn surprise.

_ “My side.” _

Kaidan flinched; surprised by the sudden interruption of a voice he’s familiar with but also thankful for its timely distraction. The woman stands next to him, placing a pair of bracers and some smaller plates. She asks the smith for variants and some of his best leather sets. Looks like she’s going by lighter covering. _'Here’s hoping she’s most effective in that. Otherwise she’ll just be the easiest kill out there next to goats.' _He evaluates her choices in silence.

“You met on a battlefield or something?” Counting her coins, the old man gives Kaidan a nod. “Curious. How can you tell?” She feigns interest but her companion could see through all that rubbish. He can clearly see her lightly tapping those slender fingers on the table as a sign of impatience. Like him, she just wants the nord to keep talking to deflect questions. They can’t have anyone knowing they escaped from the Thalmor.

Proud and flattered, the blacksmith puffs his chest out and is more than eager to sing. “I’ve been in this business for decades, lass! I can tell what kind of person a customer is and the fights they get in or prepare for.” He tells them both, filled with pride as he spoke stories of some of his notable encounters while packing their items. “I can tell the two of you are dressing up for more than just wilderness bandits.” He chuckles, “You make a good combination. One who can take a beating while the other one is light on her feet.” Kaidan gloomed at the thought. Sure, he can act as a shield but he hopes he’s doing it for something worthwhile if it comes to that. Handing his companion a steel dagger, the brutish old man holds it back just before she can take it from his hand. “This is freshly forged, lass. But if you don’t mind sharing, where do you plan on pointing my creation at?”

“I don’t know why that’s any of yo—”

“It doesn’t matter. If it threatens _our _family,” Kaidan interrupts, wrapping his hand on top of hers, and her hand stiffens like it caught frostbite, “that dagger goes through their chests.” he gives a side glance to her. She’s downright petrified. _'Just play along for a while, woman. I’ll apologize later.' _his thoughts protested. It’s already uncomfortable enough trying to be sweet with a total stranger. On the back of his mind, he knew he was to blame for improvising so suddenly, but hey, haven’t they been doing that ever since they arrived here? Just need to get through today and they can get their precious privacies back.

Seemingly satisfied, the blacksmith drops it on her reaching hand and lifts up a neatly wrapped leather coat along with some protective pads and carefully pushes it towards her. She was quick to pull away from Kaidan’s grasp, calling Zorya to help her with the items as she storms out of the shop with nothing but a mumbled gratitude to the old nord.

“Quite the adventurous type, isn’t she? You better think about settling fast before she gets taken from you.”

“_ What? _”

“We’re in Skyrim, lad.” The blacksmith snorts as if he’s talking to a dimwit. “If it ain’t the weather or those in the wilds, it’ll be this damn war that takes adventurers like you. Just like how it took my sister.” He gives Kaidan the quiver and arrows he asked for earlier. With that conversation only taking for a darker turn, the swordsman, loss for words, spun on his heel and ran after the two.

* * *

You turn aside at Zorya who’s snapping her fingers at you and you shove your hand beneath the bag sitting on your lap. “I said I found what you’re looking for, my lady. How many do you want and which colours so we can have it customized the soonest?” Zorya held up three different long sleeved blouses, ideally worn under common chainmail or leather armors which leaves arms unprotected. Blinking confusedly, you cleared your thoughts.

“Can I have white, black, and darker shades of red for those? See if they can have it re-fitted with the armor we bought.”

“Right away.”

“Thank you, Zorya.”

Sighing deeply, you take out your hand and close your eyes. _'It’s nothing to fuss over.' _Trying to pep talk yourself out of it didn’t work. _'I don’t know what the problem is.' _The pounding in your chest still continues to go faster. Putting your other hand over it and pulling it close, you still feel it lightly tremble. Were you embarrassed? You weren’t heating up like you did last night. The brain might be a mess but you at least know how to distinguish between getting butterflies and whatever is making you uneasy right now.

_ 'Wait. Did I just actually think a stranger gave me ‘butterflies’? Just how deep is the damage of my mind??' _

But why is your pulse through the roof when he took your hand? A debate in your head ran wild as you struggled to focus.

Finally resorting to taking deep breaths, you try to steady the nervous beating of your heart. Tracing heat the contact left on your skin, your mind works out the earlier scene. Simulating in your memory how slow and abrupt—yet so gentle the touch was. His hand was firm and rough. It was just fitting of someone whose life was just as he told you when you were drinking. Underneath that intimidating and mysterious vibe he gives off, Kaidan is careful and values honor. He’s aloof for good reasons but he isn’t uncivilized. He did come back for you at the prison, watched over and made sure you get proper treatment for those wounds since he can’t use magic, and played along just so you can have a room to stay in even if he was obviously uncomfortable about the idea. He knew to trust you despite you being unable to assure him how far your damage stretches and he didn’t get angry after your hallucination early this morning. Kaidan is putting his faith in you and you know he’s not doing it just because you got him his sword back. He’s a stranger, yeah, but he’s not a bad company. If anything, he’ll make a good friend—if that’s something he wants to have. You remember how he grasped on your hand. It was also warm, but unlike Zorya’s it sparked a different kind of sensation for you. Like he knew you were in need of comfort. And your heart sank like a gaping hole, sucking you in from the inside until you are nothing but part of the void. It was unbearably painful because you _did _need it. And yes, it was comforting. But it wasn’t enough.

You weren’t enough.

You opened your eyes to a room shrouded in total darkness, kneeling and suddenly _crying _. The only light present was the meagre light coming out from the shaky palm you’re holding out. You couldn’t see anything clear from your swollen eyes. The other hand was holding someone. Holding him. Kaidan? No. It isn’t him. Your grip on the hand tightened but so did your chest when you felt the heat fading. “No!” you weep desperately, keeping the flow of healing energies directed at the body lying in front of you. But he didn’t stopped bleeding and your tears kept pouring out. You strained, so much that your head started to severely ache, pushing every last bit of magicka out of your body to close the wound in his stomach. But you’re not skilled enough. He keeps telling you it’s okay in between hushed whispers and wheezing. _It's not okay. Nothing is. _But he kept that comforting grip on your hand anyway until the end. It’s as if time is toying with you, as you knew you were shouting again and again and again to what seemed an endless loop of despair, yet you couldn’t hear anything. Even as lights slowly pierced through the growing cracks of the roof, there was nothing but darkness in your heart.

Forcing your eyes to snap open, you find yourself still seated on the bench inside the tailor’s shop. This is real. Your quivering hands press hard against your mouth as you muffle a gasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying I'll give a name, I'll give a name right away. And I can't. I will. Just... ajdafbaf. All in the right time. Kaidan won't keep calling you "woman" forever after all.


	9. A Destination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having small talks help ease things up before departing. With Zorya sending you off, the journey finally starts. The door of possibilities is now officially opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mainly I shape the Dragonborn here. But I always want it for the readers to feel like the LDB in this fanfic isn't just mine but yours as well. ><
> 
> (Just like Kaidan isn't mine exclusively. He's EVERYONE's sword and shield.)

**008**

**A Destination**

“Well, say something! I find it absolutely stylish _and _effective.” The black haired beauty giddily claps her hands and her accessories jingle along. Kaidan lifts his brows very slightly as he scrutinize your selected outfits. He stands still, crimson eyes travelling from top to bottom like the setting sun. His jaw tightens as he crosses his arms and it’s like an imaginary scale pops up on his head, tipping towards either disapproval or disappointment. There’s no sign of being impressed in the least bit—not with the way he’s keeping his subtle frown unchanging. Really, you wouldn't have noticed these things if you weren’t looking closely. It’s just hard not to when the focus of his attention is _you_.

Trying to come up with something constructive and short is frustrating. She stood as awkward and tensed as she did ever since she came out of that room. It’s obviously customized. Commonly, people would go for just a recommended set but looks like Zorya went out of her way in dressing up his companion. She wore a white blouse underneath the dark leather and the tunic ends just above her knees. Chainmail embroiders her suit and bracers well—all the vital places are covered. A black sleeveless coat served as her outermost protection. For all he knows, she also bought another in shades of dark brown. It’s thick, although a bit lengthy for his preference, but easy to move with and without the sleeves a usual coat would have, she can swing her arms more if she needed to, giving her more freedom. There’s a similarly thick red garment hugging her waist that had several binders in it, probably for some waterskin or pouch. Her boots are made from weather resistant leathers as well; the types which are made to endure traversing snowy plains or mountains with harsher climates. Her lower part, save the footwear, is what is lacking in protection. Those kinds of pants may be equally made for travelling but not exactly for combat. The intricate pattern imprinted on it suggests that much. If an enemy gets an arrow or a slash through, it’ll be an easy disadvantage for her given how light she’s armored. She may be a healer but given her current injury, her magicka might not be as effective—that and healing during combat is gonna take a lot of toll. It’s not that he doesn’t trust her fighting prowess but during the outpost events, she said she was the one doing the ambushing. He still doesn’t know how flexible she is under circumstances in which she is the prey. Ah, but that’s where his word is going to be put into test. He can already visualize the amount of bruises he’ll get on the road, if worse comes to worst.

“It’s somewhat alright.”

_“‘Alright’?!” _Did Zorya just choked or chortled? Might be a bit of both.

“She lacks warm clothes. I understand she’s going for a lighter load but this is Skyrim. Freezing to death is always never far off. Wearing those clothing will not be enough. Uhh..” Kaidan frowned even more, faint lines appearing on his forehead. “At least trade some of the other garments for a pair of scarves and gloves.”

The ecstatic lady pressed a finger to her lip upon consideration, “I believe that I have overlooked that part. Very well.” She nods politely and takes off, carrying some items to trade with.

You exhaled with relief and slid back to the spot you were sitting before. _‘Gods this whole suiting up is by far the most uncomfortable one.’ _A chill ran down your spine just thinking back to how Zorya kept spinning you inside the tiny room as she puts different corsets and tunics on you. It’s near impossible how inhumanely fast she is with tying laces, but just look at her! Zorya’s definitely well practiced in mixing and matching clothes. Being able to keep up with her would be beyond your wildest dreams. You lazily tilt your head back, crossing both arms and legs. Looking to your left, you spot Kaidan staring at you from the other end of the bench. He flinches and looks away with the same grim look plastered on his face.

_“Does he have a problem?” _Clearly getting affected, you kept looking at him with a blank expression until he shudders and breaks.

And he does. “If this was about earlier in the smith I… I-.. Just that.. I didn’t mean.. I’m just sorry.” Getting that out sounded like torturing him; _you_ should apologize.

“For holding my hand?” You snort, “I’m not offended by that. It’s fine, we already went as far as sharing the same bed, didn’t we?” You joked and it felt nice to see his gloomy face lighten up a bit. “Forgive me for being sudden. It seemed to have sent a wrong message for you.” “Really? How come you were sulking and sweating when I found you here?” It wasn’t accusing, but he was evidently still worried about it. _‘Ah, so he thought it was that.’ _You figured. Re-adjusting your collar and distracting yourself instead with the newly purchased boots, you politely decline him information.

“I’m not really sure I wanna talk about that. Maybe some other things come to your mind?” You ask him, not wanting to leave things awkwardly like that. After all, he was kind enough to apologize for just thinking he offended you in some ways. You, on the other hand, have done nothing but make him uncomfortable since stepping foot inside that inn.

He blinks. Once. Twice. He looks like an idiot. “Like the questions game you’ve been pullin’ at me when I was dying back there?” He is an idiot. A smug one, aye.

“Like wh-.. Hey, I already apologized for that! An-and I didn’t know if... If—” You stammered, cheeks starting to burn a bit. Kaidan cracks a mischievous smile and laughs. _At you_. You would have told him he looked devilishly handsome if only you weren’t being embarrassed right now.

“Relax, woman. I’m pulling your leg.” He tells you in a way you instantly recognize.

_Cocky bastard_.

“How long are you going to call me like that?” You send him an equally smug look. He lifts his bulky plated shoulder in a half shrug, “Until you remember your name, obviously.” “And if I don’t?” Your eyes met, both pondering how to answer your query. His were the first ones to wander away, “I don’t know. Pick a name?” he clicks his tongue, “Hey. Don’t look at me like that. Pick it yourself, geez.” The snarky bastard gets the better of you before you can speak out the obvious. Rolling your eyes, you grunt out loud and sink in your seat while he rests his arms on top of his knees.

“Your input on my attire was nice, by the way.” You smirk at him. “I appreciate that.” For a man who rarely shows emotions with his face, his eyebrows are pretty expressive. “Is this some sort of trick?” he asks, waiting for you to laugh at his face or something. Shaking your head, you assure him, “No. Really. Zorya made a lot of input in which is comfier and goes better with what. Barely anything about combat durability, to be honest.” You shift your sitting position to his direction. “I’m glad we got your opinion.”

He really was taken back there by a second or two. “Er… yeah, well. I guess it’s just the way I grew up. Being vigilant and prepared for the unexpected.” He lifts up an arm and scratches his jaw.

“Your armor is gonna make lots of noise, you know that right?”

Kaidan hums lowly, “I’m not as confident with light armor. Besides, it’s been like my second skin for years.” He opens and closes his palm, examining then thick garment enveloping it.

You snort out a laugh. “Gods, that sounds awful.”

“Hey, I can move and only make minimal noises with it, so what’s it matter anyway?” He defends his armor. Well it was pretty normal that he would, given that it’s probably the one he used in battle most. And he prided over his mastery of that heavy stuff on him, yeah? No doubt that hurt his ego a bit. ‘‘_Not sentimental’ my ass.’_ You scoff silently. “But what’s with you and those striking colors, eh? Doubt that gypsy picked it up herself.” Now he’s bouncing it back at you. How unpredictable.

“Why, you don’t like it?”

“I didn’t say that. But you’ll stand out like a sore thumb whether it be in the snow or forest lands.” He points out critically… which actually makes sense, but you like those colors, so the choice of palette is off the table for now.

“Spare me the lecture and just admit I look at least good in it.” You snigger. Kaidan actually chuckles back, catching wind of your evasion.

Ooh. He’s not taking the bait. You make a mental note of stepping up the game later on.

Here he is again. Talking. Bantering. It’s not really the most intriguing topic but Gods be praised, he’s actually holding a steady conversation. She really is something. Something good or bad? It will reveal itself later on. Kaidan clears his throat and gives an answer. “Aye. And as far as preferences go, this doesn’t look like Nordic fashion at all. Err… and taking into account what you said last night, then by the looks of it, you aren’t raised as one either.”

Her grin widens and amusement blooms in those ocean eyes. Guess it’s her initial reaction whenever she finds an interesting turn in conversations. It’s cute. Wait, did he just think of her as c— “_Oooh_. Why thank you, my lord. You look very handsome as well.” She mimics a noble’s accent which disrupts Kaidan’s thoughts.

“That’s a… That’s actually a really good accent.” He edged towards her. Could she be..? Wait if she is, then how did she end up in the wilds?

“Are you saying you’re impressed by my skill?” She giggles playfully, leaning her head on the wooden bench as the swordsman approached her.

He shook his head, “Think of it, you could be noble or something close. I’m saying you are a natural in that accent.” But her smile falters at his dismissal.

She went quiet yet kept a passive smile on. “And I’m saying you’re very observant. But you’re lame in picking up hints.” The woman cracks a grin and hops off to follow the gypsy girl. Did she just dodge him twice in a row?

* * *

Air is about to become a luxury if Zorya doesn’t let go of the helpless lass from her tight embrace soon. She insisted on walking them out of Ivarstead after they finished buying a steed a little earlier than expected. With the two travelers’ bags fully geared with necessary items and provisions for the wilds, the three of them stood on the bridge to say their parting words.

“It’s been such a pleasure spending time with you!” She squeals in your ear. The suffocating woman looked over to her companion for help but he mouths _‘play-along’_ instead. _‘I’ll-kill-you’_ she mouths back. Zorya pulls away and she has no idea how grateful the nameless lady was for it. “You look perfect for travel! But where do you two plan to go, my lady?” she tilts her head and looks behind at Kaidan tending the horse.

“Far. As far away from those vile Dominion. We have to disappear from their scopes if possible.” He scratches the back of his head and sends his companion a fleeting glance before speaking again, “We’ll talk about it later on the road.” He reaffirms Zorya. The charming nord nods and returns her attention to the lady.

She leans close for a whisper, “My friend, should you find yourself in a situation with this brute,” her breath tickles a bit and you peek at Kaidan who start to knit his brows together, “..just aim for his groi—”

“Can we get going? _Now?_” he complains, causing the girls to share a short laugh.

You puff out as the red eyed grump helps you pull yourself up on the horse. “Are you sure you’re both fine with just one steed?” Zorya asks, guiding you until you’ve settled firmly behind Kaidan. “Hmm. Aye, the rest of the gold will have more use than buying another mouth to feed. We’ll steer clear off the main roads. Thank you for all the help.”

“Zorya, I hope we all meet again.” A tiny spark of sadness flutters in you.

“And I pray you tell me your name next time, my lady.” The dark haired gypsy winks.

Kaidan whistles and as the horse began to march away, both give Zorya a final wave.

* * *

Refreshing breeze swept through them and its gentle caress has never been more invited. They’ve still got a few hours before sunset. That means the forests are still ripe with game and spots to clear for camping. Kaidan always felt at home in the Rift. Nature proved to be the best painter with the finest palette when he first set foot in this land during his younger days. For the very first time, he saw that Skyrim can offer more than deadly blizzards and wastelands. The red and golden trees under the sun, the lush greenery, vibrant colors reflected in the waters—this part of the country has always been the favorite spot of hunters and those who hated the snowlands. Even after all these years of nothing but growing chaos everywhere, the Rift never changed. It’s still the perfect place to find solace. But his back’s been feeling progressively heavier since a while ago.

“Oi. Are you sleepin’ back there?” He nudges his elbow backwards and heard a groan.

“What? I’m just resting my head on your cold and uncomfortably hard armor. You’re not gonna cry over this, are you?” The girl lazily replies, lightly tapping the plate on his back in an attempt to annoy him.

Kaidan couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the response. _'__The guts of this woman. Puttin’ her guard down just like that.' _He mocked internally. “You’ve been quiet. Remember something yet?”

The woman only made a low grunt. “Feel a lot from this place, yes. Remember things? Not really. I wish I did. But I’m not really rushing it either.. It’s just this place…” She trails off and Kaidan felt the same weight slowly pressing on his back again. “It’s really peaceful.” She whispers softly, eyes wide in awe.

“_And_ _beautiful_.”

“…and beautiful.”

Both were thankful that the other can’t see the small smile forming on their lips.

About an hour and a half of travelling straight going East has passed before the two decided to let the steed rest and set up camp not far from a nearby lake. Twigs made faint snapping noises when the sturdy swordsman got back to their spot carrying chopped woods and a bag of picked ingredients on his arms. He towers over his companion, who is just about done making a final knot to finish setting the tents. “Huh. You sure set those up fast for someone who lost her memories.” He remarks, giving her an approving look over her speed. “I guess. But what did I tell you? Muscle memory is amazing.” She smiles back.

Piling up the wood and twigs, they help each other out in making the night’s dinner. From lighting the fire, arranging the cooking pot, moving a log to sit on, unpacking the beds, Kaidan couldn’t help but notice his companion’s excessive reliance on magicka to aid her work. Not that he had any right to tell her how she should utilize her abilities, but leaning too much on magic only seduces the person into abusing it.

_He doesn’t really have fond memories of magic abusers._

Catching sight of this, the woman calls at him. “Thoughts?” He jerks at the sudden inquiry, spilling a bit of soup on his chest plate. He must have been looking at her long enough for her to catch him. His lady friend chuckles and used her telekinetic powers to get him a piece of cloth from inside her tent. “Wouldn’t want your _skin_ to get stained or whatever.” She taunts harmlessly and went back to eating her share.

“You use a lot of magic for someone working with the Thieves’ Guild.” He scoffs and his companion quiets down. “You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice that you tucked away one page on your bag last night?” Kaidan glances at the woman who fidgets as she refuses to meet his eyes. “It specifically states in it that whoever that Aringoth person is, he is to cut ties with the Thieves’ Guild in Riften. Now why a note as sensitive as that would just be floating around for a random person to pick up? Someone hired you to take it.” He explains casually as he continues with his food.

Panicked, the nameless woman put aside her meal and got on her knees looking genuinely apologetic. “I was going to show you eventually, alright? I didn’t even know what that guild has to do with me.” She points to her head and makes this wriggling gesture with her hand signifying of her memory loss. “But since you’re sharper than your lids, I guess we’ll skip to the part where I ask for your help about it while suffering under critical judgement.” She clasps her hands and shuts her eyes as she brings it up her face. “So if we don’t have a destination yet, will you take me to this guild?” The woman anxiously awaited his angry response and it didn’t take long to finally hear Kaidan… _snigger at her?_

“Psh. Sure thing. But you actually think I’d condemn you for being a thief or associated with one?” He holds her gaze this time; fire against ice. Mara have mercy on him, he actually finds her baffled expression right now cute. “You saved me and several lives from the prison that day. That’s what I know. That’s what matters to me _now_.” He made sure to emphasize the word, “I’m the last person on Nirn to ever judge someone just because of what they did in the past.” It weighed more for him than he anticipated, nearly bringing back a full loop of memories he didn’t want to revisit ever again.

You eased a bit, mortification leaving your body. “Oh. Thanks… I-I didn’t really expect you to be the open minded type.” You say, lifting a hand up to scratch your cheek, “I don’t mean to offend, I mean I know you’re kind and generous, though not in a knightly way-.. I’ll.. I’ll shut up.” Finishing with an awkward smile, you did your best to endure and not melt under Kaidan’s uncontrollable smirking. “Can we take a break on this talk about me?” You feel sheepish hiding behind your hands. “Ohh, should I? I thought you said we should get acquainted if we’re travelling together?” His smug grin didn’t even falter in the slightest despite your persistent glare. If you didn’t know any better, he’s getting back at you for all the teasing.

Maybe you should have left this rascal in that prison. _‘That’s not a good way to think about the one who saved you from those elves.’_ Quickly shaking off the bickering in your head, you realign your focus and moved right beside him. Despite not really liking the way his steel plates poke your newly bought leathers, you still sat firmly. He chuckles lowly and takes a sip of his ale—wait, since when did he get that? That’s just weird. But it’s your turn and you’ll make it count.

“Well, in that case, let’s talk about you as well.” You snatch his drink and took a swig, “What’s the story behind that sword you sent me dying over?” His eyes regard you with amusement and you made sure not to break the serious look you have on. He wipes his nose and leans over closely, _too close for your tastes actually_, grabbing the nodachi that you are stepping on. _Oops_.

“Now that,” He starts, resting the lengthy blade on both your laps “..is the question on everyone’s mind, even mine. The sword belonged to my mother. I never knew her, but it’s my only real clue to finding out who she was.” You steal a glance at him and all the mischief is gone—replaced with a melancholic one that filled his eyes. It’s not hard to feel sympathy even for a stranger, but you wanted to avoid coming off as patronizing. So instead of whispering shallow words of comfort, your fingers found their way around the scabbard. You cooed at the craftsmanship unsheathed in front of you. “I see you weren’t lying when you said the Thalmor shouldn’t have this. It certainly looks unique.”

Kaidan simply looked on as her fingers danced around the engraved markings of the blade. Him being in Skyrim wasn’t by coincidence; he had a purpose in mind. What brought him here has a lot to do with that sword. It was also because of that sword that the Thalmor dragged him off to that prison and met this person. Though it may be purely by accident that they met each other, he was still thankful either way. It’s been a long time since he actually partnered up with someone in adventuring.

“So have you translated these yet?”

The swordsman was lost for a moment. “Translated… _what_?” and he knew she was just as puzzled from his response. She points a finger down the blade. Pressed it against the engravings. “The markings here. What does it say in Tamrielic?” using magic, she commands the sword to be lifted with ease beside the campfire for better lighting.

“Hey, easy with that now! Do you so carelessly use magic on a daily basis—”

“_‘Tovit kruziik.. qethse.. qethsehoko..ro..nne_’? I’m reading it correctly, right? Right? Kaidan…?”

The woman jerked her head back to her companion’s direction only to find Kaidan gaping in bewilderment.

* * *

Kaidan when he hears PC reading it. Haha I'm kidding. Just a joke. By Shor, I'll ruin the mood of this fic myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't written much. XuX;; it's a stressful week I had to go back playing Skyrim. Helpful and constructive tips are very welcome! Compliments, too! Or do you just wanna say how much you adore the mod companion included? DROP BY THE COMMENTS AND I'LL SQUEAL WITH YOU!! ヽ(ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉ


	10. In Search for Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two try to go out for a test hunt but end up finding more than just lunch instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, I'm really thankful that you do. If you think you can give me helpful tips, feel free to drop it in the comments! Who knows, maybe other fanfic writers will read it as well and you'll end up helping more than just on person! ^O^ Thank yooouu!

**009**

**In Search for Lunch**

Nearby torchbugs buzzed quietly as they settled, filling in the silence of the camp. Soft glows reflected by the sword floating beside their campfire brightened the place. It came close to serenity if not for the oozing tension between you and Kaidan. Not _ that _ kind of tension, though.

Without warning, the flames danced wildly, caused by a sudden movement in front of it. A baffled swordsman snatches his blade away from whatever invisible magic is holding it mid air. His blurry reflection greeted him as he brought it horizontally to see the markings himself. Nothing he’s able to read. It’s just scribbles for him.

“Did you just read that!?”

He exclaims down on the woman whose surprise only matched his. Nervousness takes over the person once more. “W-what? Is there a ritual there I shouldn’t have read!? Oh gods..-” she gasps, “No! It’s not a ritual. Look, just answer the question. Can you really read this?” Kaidan kneels in front of her, showing the carvings she just read out loud a moment ago. She nods, “Yeah.. But I don’t really understand it.” The inquiring man cocked his head. “What do you mean you can’t? You just read it. You understand it.”

“Woah, swordsman. You hearin’ yourself? Those are two different things!”

“At least just try again!” He inches the sword towards her. Kaidan knew he was being extra assertive, as seen on how much this woman’s brows are sinking. He can’t deny the ignition of hope filling him all of a sudden. She might be truly the closest one he can ask for help about it.

“Right...” She squints and then beams. “How could I have missed it? Look here. Right here!” The swordsman tips his head closer to her. “Aye?” “You see this word? If used in a phrase or sentence, it translates to... _ ‘Stop being a dimwit and listen to me’. _” The woman flicks his nose and he stumbles down on the soil. ‘Closest one who can help him’? Ha. It’s a good thing he didn’t say that or he’ll have to swallow those words right back up.

Scoffing and dusting dirt off him, your eyes reflexively rolled when he sent you a scowl. “What the hell was that?! I asked you properly.” He fumed, going back to his seat. “And I...” you carefully stuffed the sword back in its sheath, “..answered properly the first time.” He takes the sword back when you give it to him.

“I just told you, I may be able to read whatever that is but I can’t translate it.”

His gaze travels down to the sword. “Sorry.. I just..”

He couldn't finish. The man picked up his ale and dragged himself inside the tent.

The rest of the evening went by without a word between the two strangers.

* * *

_ Thunk. _

Trees rustled outside with the bracing winds as it entered Kaidan’s tent. Is it morning already? It’s still quiet and he could still hear the campfire outside crackle softly. It’s going to be about a day or two to Riften unless they take the main road. They won’t. They can’t. It’s too easy to be spotted outside the cities. There must be a way to get inside without suspicion. After all, it’s Riften of all holds. But he didn’t want to think about that yet.

_ Thunk _.

“I told you over and over, I don’t know. I never knew them—_ argh! _”

Thick, rusted cuffs pressed into his wrists as he balls his fist in pain. He had no other option but to endure as the interrogator slowly sinks his blade across his stomach. It didn’t matter whatever he told them. The blade cutting his skin open is a clear message that they believe otherwise. Long pointed ears and the sharpest bone structures he’s ever seen; their wicked grin only doubled the chill in his bones. It’s not that he feared them. He’d rather have his neck shoved into that dagger than relive the day he went to the farmer’s house. Despite the struggle for consciousness and focus, his darkening vision drifted him far enough and he couldn’t stop thinking, _ ‘Was this how that family felt when he stood in front of them?’ _

_ Thunk. _

Relaxing under the cool shade of a tree was never this rewarding as far as his young mind remembers. The old man gave him some break. Said he deserves it for making it back alive. Hands beneath his head, he raises slim legs to stretch it out on the blue sky before crossing it back as he let it down. The grass tickled under his bare and calloused feet but who cares? He’ll finally be able to get a taste of that thing Brynjar’s always been drinking. His treat he says, ‘as part of the reward’. After scavenging and fighting his way back into the village, he couldn’t ask for more reward than a really warm bed and a load of goat roasts for his taking. Though he couldn’t hide his excited when Brynjar finally showed up with two bottles of what he assumed was his mead.

“For not dying,” He grinned, “and for being one hell of a tough lad.” His old man’s voice was low and gritty. It had always been just as he remembered. It took him both his arms’ strength just to get the lid to pop open. The old warrior chortles at his effort, “Pfft. Hahaha! Worry not. You’ll get your strength back and you’ll get used to the taste.” How bad could this be? Brynjar always appeared merrier when he gets plenty of it so—_ THUNK. _

Birds fluttered away as soon as the tent flap flew open. “Alright, what’s going on out here!?” Nothing out of the ordinary except a couple of distant elks scurrying even further away, frightened by his yelling. He steps out and turns towards his companion’s tent to check it out. “_ Empty. Where is that woman this early in the morning?” _

_ THUNK. _

Head swiftly swinging on the direction of the sound, Kaidan easily tracks the source. Very lightly, he puts one foot in front of the other; careful not to cause too much noise. Like a moth finally catching sight of a flame, _ its flame _, he strode down to the woman practicing on a tree just by the stream. Wait. He recognizes the bow she’s carrying.

“_ Is that my weapon? _”

Spinning around with a drawn arrow, Kaidan jumps back and curses. “First you take without asking, now you’re going to shoot me with it.” He praises sarcastically.

“Up so early?”_ ’And grumpy _.’ But you can’t really say that when he’s caught you red handed with his bow. You observe with disinterest as he walks up towards the tree you’re using as target practice.

“Well take a guess.” He picks off the arrows one by one. “Couldn’t keep my damn eyes closed with you hitting this tree again and again.” He scoffs, putting the items in the quiver. _ ‘By Ysmir, why would a capable magic user even bother with archery…’ _ Lost in frustration, he failed to notice he’s been picking _ a lot _ and on the same spot since the beginning. He looks back at the woman directly for the first time since he found her. She’s fully dressed with last night’s attire.

_ Maybe she’s just about to bathe and if you hadn’t so promptly intruded then you could have... _

If his thoughts manifested into a figure right now, he would be sure to punch it in the throat without hesitation.

If her brows are arching on its own, that’s probably because this schmuck right in front of her is giving her that ridiculous ‘confused’ face again. It’s been two days and she already lost count how many times they exchanged this look with one another.

“Did you uh…” He points to you and the arrows, “Did you shot all these?” You nod, fingertips playing around the carvings of his bow. “And why exactly?” He thinks you wouldn’t notice him subtly eyeing you up and down; well he’s wrong because you’re now getting anxious of how you look.

You shrug. “Just practicing.”

“And you didn’t sleep.”

“And I _ couldn’t _ sleep.” You pop your tongue, giving him a thumbs up for guessing correctly. He nods slowly, “You didn’t say you were a good shot.” He glances up the sky, changing the topic. Thank the divines he knew when to keep his nose out.

Your feet crossed the distance between you two in three strides, “I didn’t know until I tried. I doubt I’m _ that _ good, though. Still much to explore.” You muttered as you offered him back the bow. Coming face to face with him under the sun gives you a renewed appreciation for his tattoo. It does look good on him after all. A bit faded but it perfectly matches the mystery enveloping his personality.

“_ Hey. _Hey, are you listening?”

You take off your focus on his face and unto his hand pushing back the bow towards you. “I said we’ll test out how far your mastery goes.” He urges, “Go on and prepare. We’ll do some hunting before we hit the road.” Handing over the quiver he’d stocked with arrows, he gives you a light pat on the shoulder before heading back to your camp. Why do you suddenly feel like you’re about to come across something really inconvenient?

* * *

Slow and steady. That’s what he said. So you made sure each time your foot touched the ground, it’ll be as light as you can make it. Your rugged swordsman trailed behind a few paces. His metal armor is a walking alarm but did he compromise? Gods, no—that’s why he’s throwing you out here to see if you can fit the job. Of course you can always fake it and tell him you can’t do it but he’s already agreed to take you to Riften without actual exchange but a decent company.

_ ‘Yeah I can do decent.’ _

Elks, foxes, rabbits. Most common animals to come out from the safety and covering of the woods for a drink. Where else better to bag a game than in these said locations? Finding a nearby tree to hide behind, you plant your footing as you crouch and search for your lunch. It’s the Rift. Even if the nearest open area or civilization is miles away, just find a body of water and wait for the food to bring itself to you. That’s what your overly charismatic companion told you anyway.

_ “Over there.” _ Kaidan whispers at you from the next tree, brandishing a dagger in his other hand. _ Your _dagger. He really had to get even, huh?

You pull the bowstring in sync with your breathing. Bringing the nocked arrow at the direction he’s pointing, two elks stood by the river. _ ‘I guess he wants me to take the smaller one. No way in oblivion we’re gonna eat a full grown in one sitting.’ _The shot is clear and Kaidan nods at you to go for it. It’s an easy target, to be honest.

_ So why are your fingers trembling? _

He examines your posture. Solid angles, good for sniping. No wind to disrupt the trajectory and certainly no one else around but him. What’s she waiting for? Kaidan snaps his fingers at the girl.

“Is it your injury?” he whispers.

She shakes her head lightly.

“Have you done this before?”

“I can do it.” She says through gritted teeth.

That’s not what he asked. She’s obviously hesitant even if she can. At first he thought her story would be much easier to piece together than his. But she just gets more and more mysterious with every passing moment. Well it’s still early on their journey. With luck, their journey to Riften will not be fruitless.

“It’ll be days before we can find a merchant or a hunter. You gotta tell me now if you can do it or not.”

_ “Shut up, Kaidan.” _ She hisses.

“Then just let it go alr—”

With a loud grunt, she releases the arrow but not before sending a glare at his direction. “You…”she fumes but a loud wailing interrupts them. Looking at each other, the two scurry towards the bleeding animal. Being the one carrying a lighter load, you get there first, nearly tripping on some rocks as you reach the young elk. An arrow sticks out just around its stomach. ‘_ Damn it.’ _ The poor thing squirms weakly as blood leaks out of its body. _ ‘Kaidan says we kill it. _ ’ You kneel and place a hand on top of it, the other gripping the arrow, and you’re not sure if the shaking is from the dying animal or yours. Heavy footsteps reach you shortly after. “What are you waiting for? Don’t make it suffer any longer!” He drops the dagger next to you and turns around readying his retrieved bow. “What is it?” You ask but he quickly shushes you. “Quickly! Before some other creature trace that sound here.” He wasn’t asking anymore. _ ‘Wolves? Aren’t they nocturnal?’ _ Your mind opposes but nevertheless, you turn back to the calf with the dagger in your hand and your heart drops. Feeling life leaving the body under your palm… You’ve taken lives before; surely an innocent animal will pose no such hindrance? With a heavy arm, you raise the blade and _ the rabbit squeals in terror _—

_ “Don’t push her yet. A lot of us can hunt.” _

_ “You’re not helping the situation. She needs to learn.” _

_ “You’re the one who’s not helping. The young lady was there. In the end, she was forced to do it… She had to.” _

There are echoing voices; male ones. They were right behind you yet… distant. One was gritty and rough and really scratchy, that it was impossible to belong to a human. The other was warmer, deeper but had a unique accent. They’re in the middle of an argument but they didn’t sound like they’re fighting. Your body remains frozen, staring blankly at the animal under your mercy. One moment a calf, the next a rabbit in a snare; your vision can’t seem to decide which is which but they are one and the same in your mind. Does it also hear how loud the pounding in your chest is?

“I don’t see what this has to do with them, may their gods rest their souls. It’s just an animal.”

“Animal or not, it’s still _ killing _. She doesn’t need to remember what that’s like so soon.”

“_ OH. _ My sincerest apologies. I-.. I did not see it that way...”

“I can’t believe you sometimes…”

The one with warm voice walks to your direction. You could hear soft crunches each time his feet brushes against the soil.

“My lady? It’s okay. Don’t do it.” It was like hearing a ghostly whisper. Gentle and faded. Slowly, you seek his presence and turn your head to your left. He was tall, steel armored, and heavily built—even comparable to an Alik’r warrior. The sun blooms behind him and you catch a sight of his hair, black as ebony. _ “…do it.” _ He says, louder and with less distortion. Blinking your eyes, his features become clearer. You spot a familiar tattoo running down the right side of his face and a pair of crimson eyes, wildly staring at you. _ Kaidan? _

_ “DO IT!” _ His growl dispels the resonating white noise around you. “Damn it, woman! DO IT OR RUN!”

Your eyes immediately darted to the far end of the forest, revealing several frostbite spiders making their way to you. You count more than three in full size. They can shower one with venom from medium distances and paralyze their prey effectively. Not really an ideal encounter.

Kaidan draws and shoots one in its eye. The corpse rolls from the impact but more are coming and Kaidan wouldn’t be fast enough to deal with all of them, not with all of those trees giving them cover. In all viewpoints, you knew he was right. None of you are sure when’s the next chance you’ll catch food like this. Even if you did, both of you will be too hungry, tired, or noisy to keep up with the hunt. The provisions you brought are only about as good for one meal since bringing too much will slow down the journey; not to mention, the horse needs to be fed as well. He knew exactly these things to consider from the beginning. He’s also right about you. You _ can’t _ bring yourself to do it after all.

The dagger hits the earth and with shallow breaths, you tightened your grip on the arrow. This isn’t like picking flowers. Once you pull, the animal frantically thrashes and lets out a shriek so bad, it spelled out nothing but agonizing pain. Small drops of sweat trickle down your face and you force your eyes shut, roaring as you yank the arrow from the calf. You couldn’t make out what Kaidan is yelling at your back but you knew those weren’t compliments. Blood begins dripping out of the tiny hole and your stomach churns at the sight of it convulsing. Despite wanting to throw up and your lungs being uncooperative, you hold down the wheezing creature and summon your magicka, converting it to healing energies. _ “It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” _ You ignore the haunting whispers carried in the wind and focus on closing the wound. Low screeches and squelching nearby indicates that Kaidan finally resorted to using his sword but you dare not to look back.

_ ‘Just a bit more.’ _ You grit your teeth, pumping up as much mana you’re able to release to speed things up. At long last, right after the wound closes, the young animal takes only but a second before it bolted away from the commotion. Leather wrapped shoulders slump forward as you let out a short sigh. Suddenly, a force knocks your bag and _ drags _you up on your feet.

“WATCH OUT FOR THEIR SPITS! AND _ HURRY _!” Kaidan sprints ahead of you back into the woods, knowing you’ll be able to catch up. Without looking back, you race to his direction. Running a streak of misfortune, your instinct steps up in time and you somehow managed to raise a thin wall of ice spikes in front of you. Leaping above with ease, you sent a quick glance and were briefly relieved to have widened the gap from them. But the chase doesn’t ends there. The two of you heard distant shattering after a few seconds and pick up the pace.

After a few minutes of running after him, your lungs finally give up. “Hey! We can’t keep running that way!” You hollered, slowing down to catch your breath. There should be enough distance for now to take a quick rest. “We need to lose them.” “We won’t have to lose _ anything _ if you weren’t so indecisive!” He grabs your arm and continues to tread fast. “What’s the matter with you anyway!?” he raises his voice, taking a turn to where you left the horse and where the spiders emerged from. Oh. You just circled back. “Will you stop yelling already, geez. Just get the horse before those things come back here.” You get that he’s mad and he has every right to be, but… but _ what exactly? _ Being indecisive almost got you killed before. Now it did again and the two of you haven’t even taken a step closer to the answers you seek. There’s no argument here. You’re just simply wrong.

“You’re quite unobservant for someone travelling the wilds before, huh? Or is this part just not recorded in your ‘instincts’?” He scolds, “Frostbite spiders don’t normally hunt together. Certainly never in that number. Something drove ‘em out of their nest. Definitely caught their attention when the animal cried.” He pauses to check if you’re catching up, “They won’t be going back in this direction. Not in a long time. They’ll probably find another place to claim.” He explains, still keeping a firm hold of your arm. From his rear you can see him clenching his jaw, “I expected a stray wolf or a bandit. Not a whole pack of those venomous crawlers.” He mutters, breathing out his frustration.

* * *

_ “Oof!” _

Hard, rough ground and some bulking roots hit Kaidan’s back as he crashes down from the horse. “Kid...! Little help… Damn it!” Brynjar kept his hands locked on the wolf that had pinned him down. The old man groans as he struggles to keep the animal from biting his face off. It’s been three weeks after his first hunt. Brynjar made sure he was trained and recovered enough. Kaidan knew what to do but knowing alone isn’t always the same as understanding the situation. That, he finally learned when the wolf buries its razor sharp teeth on the warrior’s arm, something in him just _ snaps _ . Next thing he did surprised even Brynjar. He screamed and slashed and unleashed his fury on the beast. Before he knew it, he’s already kneeling on the dirt, shoulders heaving as he panted, hands wrapped around his mother’s blade, so tight that it hurt, and at the end of it—soft gray furs bristling against his nose. He’d slain the beast. The young man beamed at Brynjar, expecting praise for being able to wield the sword of such size. Instead he received a solid slap on the forehead. “You little brat. Look what the damned thing did to me!” His old man yells at him while wrapping the wounds with linen. He winces as he maintains the pressure, “Damn kid. The hell you reachin’ that sword for?” Kaidan stood still, shoulders hunched as Brynjar grumbles, “I told you, _ use the damn bow _. What did I even teach you for if you’re not gon’ use it?!” his voice soaked in vexation and too much mead.

“I’m sorry, I panicked.” The lad mutters, watching the gruff nord climb on the horse.

“And there’s no shame in that. But you’re not gonna be safe forever, boy. You have to learn how to act accordingly in the nick of time.”

Kaidan lifts his head up and meet a pair of cold, hardened eyes staring down at him. He nods his head at the kid to come and climb along.

“Danger will come for everyone. That’s why we must be ready for it. Do you understand that, boy?”

“Aye.”

* * *

Upon finding the steed, he lifts you up, tossing his sack on you. “We could trade places. I can at least walk.” You try to convince him. “I won’t be much help up in a horse during combat. We’re far from settlements now. If there’s danger, just try and get away fast...” Kaidan stops himself for a second before parting his lips then closes it again. Instead, he takes off his bow and passes it once more to you. “And for the love of Kyne, use the damn bow.”

Sheepishly nodding in compliance, you feel blood rising to your face. Never in your two-days-old memories have you ever thought getting berated by a stranger would be this humiliating. The journey hasn’t even reached half of its progress yet and you’ve managed to piss off the only person who decided to postpone whatever agenda he has to bring your sorry hide to Riften. You don’t even know what awaits you there. Being part of a thieving group makes it less appealing. Were you really that much of a scum? What if you’re nothing but a lowlife just as the Thalmor wrote down about you? Is there anything you can do to make it up to Kaidan?

_ ‘Why am I even being conscious about his opinion about me? Am I that lonely?’ _

“Watch ou—_ ugh! _ ” _ CLANG _

The sound of his armor getting hit catches your attention. Right before you could get a peek at Kaidan, a dull object sinks in your left shoulder and knocks you off the horse. The impact on the ground wasn’t that hard, thanks to your backpack, but it messed with your vision for a while. By the time the two of you got on your feet, Kaidan steps in front of you as if to cover _ or protect _ you. “W-.. Oh tell me this is a joke.” An exasperated sigh escapes your mouth. Surrounding you lot are bandits, which you assumed are the ones who scared off those spiders. They may be only wearing puny armors but they outnumber the two of you. That and most of them are equipped with ranged weapons. _ ‘Great. More dummies.’ _ You slouch in dismay. How many? This is gonna be mana draining.

“Lucky day, men. Looks like these two are still early on their travels. Alright, put the sword down and hand over your… _ valuables _.” The leader leered, but Kaidan shields you away from the dirty looks that ape is throwing at you. “I’ll tell you what, you turn around and leave us be. Maybe then I’ll control myself from spilling your guts for the creatures to feast on.” He sneers at them. This may be the first time you’re fully conscious to see his red eyes cloaked with murderous intent.

The others cheered on, spitting taunts and provocations at him. Kaidan could feel his string of patience thinning by the second. He didn’t really want to spill blood this early in their journey but he won’t hesitate to pull that son of a bitch’s tongue if it shuts him up. “Mara’s tits, that’s terrifying!” The bandit’s eyes widen underneath his dented helmet and he laughs like a maniac, “Oh what are you worrying for? I’ll let you live if you put down everything, give her to us, and start running in fear.” The oaf flashes a twisted grin, licking his lips, “Hahaha! What do you say? We haven’t had a woman in weeks! We’ll be sure to feast on every part of her… Don’t worry, she won’t go to waste.” That’s it. Kaidan roars and pulls his sword to slice down the enemy only for the blade to hit a block of ice.

_ ‘Ice?’ _

The swordsman spins around to see your raised hands charged and illuminated with magicka. All the bandits are impaled up high, choking and gurgling in their last breaths. Their blood slowly crawls on your creation, painting a surprisingly beautiful shade of red on the crystalline canvass. It’s like watching art create itself.

“That’s disturbing. Drop them down already. We can’t leave any traces that points to us.” Kaidan scoffs and his first words twisted in your heart just a little bit. Still you stayed your breath and cut off the magicka, turning the ice thin and too fragile to carry the weight. The bodies fell with a loud thud and you hear Kaidan grunting with disgust as his cloak gets a splotch of blood. “It’ll wash off. Let’s go.” He returns your bemusement. “You did this in a blink of an eye while you can’t decide whether you want an elk for lunch or not.” He taunts, though it’s mainly to express his annoyance. “That’s a story for another day, swordsman.” You snap at him and soothed the horse as you climb.

“Woah—careful!” Kaidan catches your back when you slipped down. “What’s the matter?” He guided her around as she wobbles, right hand on top of her left shoulder.

_ Hey injury. Shit. _ “Can I..?” and she nods, helping him remove the laces that bind her armor. Taking off her coat reveals her previous wound, bleeding through her snow white blouse. “Damn. Did the bolt get you?” “No,” she winces a bit and examines her coat and loose tunic. “None of these have been pierced.” Kaidan nods, “Must have opened it when you fell off earlier.” He searches their bag for a piece of cloth. “What are you doing? I can use healing magic.” She lifts her brow. There she goes again with magic doing everything. Bah. Better leave it, it’s not his body anyway that’ll get tainted with too much of that. He held her tunic in place, reflexively adjusting his eyes whenever the magic in her hand radiates brightly. Her brows knit together, looking away from the wound and then recasting her spell again. _ Whatever that means. _ But her hand keeps radiating the same fiery glow yet the stain seems to keep spreading through her garment.

“Uhh… Are you sure that’s the right spell?” He asks and she frowned at that. “I know, _ I know _, that sounds stupid. Sorry—”

“No…” She exhales sharply, “It’s not working.” Her stare drifts away from him. She shakes her head, brows sinking further as she clears her throat and try once more. Nothing. “It’s not… It won’t heal.” She whispers in a shaky voice.

Very suddenly, her hands slide across his cheeks, “_ Hey! _ W-what is it now?!” Kaidan jerks back and gently pushes her arms away. “Wounds? Bruises?” She raises her voice, “Do you have _ anything _ I can heal?!” The lady asks, voice trembling. Not entirely sure what the woman is fretting about, he takes off one of his gloves and offers his hand, blistered and slightly cut from the confrontation but nothing he deems painful enough. “Just scratches.” He shrugs. The anxious woman hover both hands above his, manipulating the magicka around them into restoring his wounds. Her magic blooms like before and they both spectate as the torn skin grows back and patches itself together like he’s never been wounded at all.

“Why… but you...” She gasps. Her face starts to pale a progressively. Is that normal? “It’s not working on me!” She coughs out a sob, casting the spell on her wound again, “Kaidan! You can see it, yes? Why is it not working on me?” “I-I don’t know.. Just calm down-.. Hold on, hold on!” The woman starts loosening her blouse but Kaidan grabs the wrong arm and the cloth slides off completely, showing off her bare chest covered in thin cloth drenched in blood.

“Damn… That’s..” His mouth suddenly went dry and he gulped down at the sight.

Tears form in her eyes, her grimace transforming into that of terror. The wound that was already healing after they visited the apothecary, the one she’s so desperately trying to heal now has… festered. “No… No, no! I don’t understand!” She sobs, casting multiple times. Dark veins appear to grow wider around the infection each time she applies her magic.

“Stop! Oi! Can’t you see!?” Kaidan yanked her hand away. _ ‘Shor’s bones, she’s cold as ice.’ _ “You’re making it worse!” The lady tilts her head, denial has no doubt settled in those eyes. “But.. I’m.. I’m using _ healing _spells!” She says in between coughs, like he doesn’t know the basic schools of magic. “I don’t give a damn what magic you use, it’s making the infection worse-.. Uhh, are you.. Are you alright?”

Slowly bringing a finger up, she wipes away blood from her nose. “Are you poisoned?” Kaidan doesn’t know much about magical side effects but her sudden paleness and coughing, tag along that worsening cut, doesn’t look anywhere near damn ‘healing’ to him. Glancing up on him one last time, the lady collapses but Kaidan manages to catch her. The confused swordsman tried to shake her awake but to no avail. “Mara’s mercy, she’s burning up.” Left without choice, Kaidan sets off to find the nearest town on the map, leaving the group of corpses in the open.

Looks like he’s skipping lunch today.

  
  


* * *

Here's a bit of tracking :) I'm expanding Skyrim in my fanfic so it'll take days for people avoiding the _main_ roads to reach Holds. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so diving into Skyrim for a while. But I won't forget about an update of course! It's just a bit distracting to split my day into playing Skyrim AND writing a fic XD Maybe I'll set down a day to work on each. <3 Feel free to gush about your fav follower mods if you feel like QwQ (Follower Maelstrom just released and I am soooo going to run with her.)


	11. Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe sitting down and having a talk let's you understand each other even if just a little bit better. It's gonna be a long journey running from the Thalmor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to take this moment to thank you for reading this far. I hope these mod companions make you smile and uplifted just as they did to me when I was feeling isolated from the world. :')

** 010 **

** Ambush **

Lively music played as the small tavern welcomed more and more patrons. Evening has set in and it’s about time guards from Fort Greenwall switch posts. Other than them, it’s mostly laborers and travellers stopping by. Today’s patrol seemed to be dull based on stories being shared by the fire. Still, an innkeeper never gets behind from the day to day news. A common thief, some animal caught in a trap and left to rot, bandits trying to sneak in the borders here and there. The only thing they look forward to after such a boring day is taking a trip to the bottom of their drinks. Warm stews to fight the cold are readily provided as well to those who have the coin. Even here in the Rift, the cool climate still finds a way to persist... and a good business minded person knows how to turn that into their advantage. Citizens went about with their usual night until they heard muffled sounds of hooves stopping right outside of the establishment. A raven haired visitor bursts through the door, breathing heavily and carrying in his arms a person wrapped in cloak.

“_ We’ll take a room... Please _.”

* * *

Your insides twisted and turned, coughing continuously from a scratchy and sore throat. Unable to control it, you gag and your body convulses as it forces out the bile.

_ “Here. Let it out.” _

Springing up from the bed and hurling yourself onto the bucket, your stomach squeezes, pushing the stuff up and out your system. Your ears start ringing and your head ached even more, refusing to open your eyes out of fear that they’ll pop. For several periods, you remember nothing between violently throwing up and hugging the bucket for balance when your body hitches. Since it already feels like blood has long abandoned your flesh, the only source of warmth you’re receiving is from the hand gently rubbing your back. Ever so slowly, slender and clammy fingers release your hair to creep up and get a hold of the hand soothing your nerves.

“Hey? Hold on, I’ll get you some drink.” It was Kaidan. The swordsman brought you here. He didn’t really abandon you, huh.

Kaidan squeezes your hand briefly before letting it go and you whine at the sudden loss of contact. Looking over your shoulder, you see stone floors and brick walls. Both your belongings sit beside a cabinet; your leather coat could be spotted hanging inside it along with your bloodied tunic and blouse. Hazy eyes look down and see that you’re wearing a brown robe draping down below your knees instead. It’s very plain but also comfortable especially in the current state your body’s in. There’s a fire pit at the end of your tiny room which illuminates only a portion of the lodging. _‘I don’t know where this is but I’d rather be here than freeze outside.’ _Loathing how the chill slices through your very bones, trembling limbs begin to crawl as you drag yourself towards the embers.

“I got you.”

Your companion pulls you up in his arms and swiftly scoops in a chair with his other foot. He sits you on it, taking out a blanket which he proceeds to wrap all over you. Where did he get such an amazing fur? Heat seeping back into your limbs feels absolutely magnificent. Sensing his fingers brush the strands of hair away from your face, you muster up the energy to keep your eyes open as you look up on him. He’s dressed in his plain pants and shirt. Only his travelling boots remained from the set he owns. So he deems this place safe enough, then? Kaidan offers you a mug of what looked like tea and you reluctantly bring it close for a whiff._ Green _. Inhaling it before taking a sip, you thank the heavens for its invigorating aroma and splendid herbal flavour, albeit a little bitter for your liking. No matter, your throat desperately begs for its soothing effect against the soreness and each time you drink, you become the same as a plant washed over with life infusing rain for the first time in the long drought of summer.

Seemingly functional enough, Kaidan allows the sick lady to gather her wits for the night. He grabs a chair for himself and settles down not far from her in front of the fire. They’ll set out once she gets strong enough for travel. He can do the body guarding; they’ll just have to be really careful. Ugh, just thinking about what happened earlier makes his skin crawl. He kneads on his brows, fatigue slowly finding him. _‘This is exactly why I never trust magic.’ _Greenwall is nothing more than a military fort now and the apothecary shop there doesn’t offer anything above the usual health potions, poison cure, and medicine. The temple in Riften is more suited to treat whatever ailment she has, especially if it persists. The man didn’t need a mirror to know his face is still plastered with worry all over. He IS bothered. Never in his travels have he seen restoration spells backfire like that. NEVER. Maybe heal the wrong person, aye, but never the spell harming the caster.

“Hey stranger...” He gazes up at her, “Why.. are you skinless.. He he.” Might it be possible that the spell affected her brain as well? She nearly died and the first thing she greets him with after saving her life is the same lousy joke she uses to poke fun of his armour. But he still gives her a relieved smile. “Glad you can finally talk now.” To own the truth, that’s something to be thankful about. Ever since he had her drink some health and cure potion, she just kept throwing her guts out, slipping in and out of consciousness for hours until a while ago. At first, he couldn’t figure out if her system is rejecting the cure but if it’s true that that’s just how the body expels the illness then that’s a lot of toxic element.

She nods and takes a tiny sip before speaking, “You stayed. I’m glad.” She mutters as soft and audible as she can. Her voice remains croaky but looks like she’s handling it well. “Thank you.”

Tired and weary eyes latch on her and she welcomes it with a grateful smile. _‘She looks different when she’s quiet. Feels like I haven’t met her at all.’ _But who is he to say what her personality is? It’s been only a few days; he hardly knew her. “No need to be thanking me. I won’t have you dying right after I just gave you my word.” He assures the lady and she lowers her gaze back to her drink. “That’s nice of you.” Seeing her subtler side made Kaidan a bit conscious. She was really upset when she couldn’t use her magic. Not that he cares about it; she can probably handle herself even without trickery, so he wouldn’t fuss about that. If anything, he’d be much more comfortable around her if she showed some restraint in using her magic. But he understood how it felt to suddenly be unable to do something so common to him. Best not dwell on that matter for now. Frustration leads to a distracted mind and they can’t afford that for the rest of their journey.

“I suppose you’ve already noticed how _welcoming _this place is.” He brings up, “We’re in an inn just outside Fort Greenwall near the city of Riften. They do welcome travelers but uhh, the inn’s not really meant for settlers so...”

“I can travel.” She says, perfectly predicting what he was going to. “Besides, the cold is unbearable here.” The woman adds, sinking her face into the blanket after she finishes the tea. “Aye. We can sneak around the roads until we get to the city but we can’t leave a mess like earlier.”

“We didn’t have a choice back there.”

“Agreed. So we need to be more discreet from here on out. Thalmor spies are everywhere. We didn’t even have a solid proof that we cleared out the place. Besides, it’s only a matter of time before they find out. Maybe they’re even investigating it right now. We just have to lay low for now and be on guard. Don’t even worry about fighting, just follow me closely. I’m still familiar with the Rift—”

“Kaidan...”

The swordsman instantly stops raining down words when you call his name. He stares wide eyed at you like he’d caught a glimpse of the afterlife.

“Why are you still with me?”

Oh good. For a moment, he thought it was because he was talking too much. Coming back to her confusing question, he creases his brows. “I just said I’m going to keep you safe.”

“You did. _Twice _. Look, don’t let me hold you back from your search. If this is about your debt, I’m afraid you’d already outdone yourself.” She points out straight to business.

“And I’m afraid you did as well. Funny that we’re just getting even, eh. I think I’ll know when I’m fully paid.” He chuckles quietly and she follows next, “I never expected to come across such a persistent debtor.” She muses at him.

The dim lighting does wonders to the woman in front of him. Wearing her long hair down the robe and with the fur resting atop her head... Dare he say she looks elegant despite the simplicity of her attire. Sighing, Kaidan rests his back against the wooden armchair and stares vacantly at the empty ceiling before he embarrasses himself.

“_ I never expected to get out of that prison alive. _”

He spoke each word so softly, almost like a whisper. You’re not even sure if he intended for you to hear that. Alas, curiosity wins.

“Hey... What happened with the Thalmor?” You ask and hope you did not offend. This conversation has long been overdue anyway. If you’re both running from the Dominion, you ought to know why they took him in the first place. His eyes falls on you and after a moment of authenticating your genuity, the swordsman pulls his chair to your side. He got close enough that your arms brush yet neither complained about it. Is it the cold or is it possible that you’re growing comfortable with each other so soon? In any case, that was a damn good tea he got you and so he’ll hear no complaints from you tonight.

“Aye. I guess I owe you that. I’d been trying to find a way to cross the border into Pale Pass.” He begins to explain. _‘Pale Pass. Pale... That’s one of Skyrim’s border outside Falkreath written in the map.' _ You silently trace the name in your head. “In the meantime, I’d been picking up bounty contracts to keep some coin in my pocket... Must have drawn too much attention to myself. I’d been camping by the lake when they ambushed me.” Dark loose hair black as midnight slides over the side of his face at the slightest movement his head makes as he goes on with his story. “It seems the Thalmor don’t need much evidence to bring in a suspect.” His tone sharpens, recalling the event, “They took one look at that sword, decided I’d be a good target for interrogation, and dragged me off to that prison.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, jaws clenching at the memory.

Being reminded of the state he’s at; the bruises, his swelling wounds all over, body beaten black and blue... You never mentioned it but it took whatever’s left of your magicka to heal his already worsening condition. You waited a whole day before you were able to cast without having a headache. Suddenly, you press on with the topic, “Weren’t you scared?”

That might have been a silly question but he was a long way from being broken in spirit when you saw him the first time and that takes strength of more than just the physical aspect. Unlike you who reacted in such a way that’s... You’d rather not find out.

He chuckles softly, surprising the woman with the lightness of his tone. “Brynjar used to say, ‘If you’re not a little afraid, you’re not understanding the situation.’.” he replies, looking far into the flames. “Fear I can deal with easily enough. But...” He had to pause. The words, _his _words—it’s like it all got stuck in his throat for a moment. But he wants to get it out of his system. The man draws in a long breath. “There was a moment or two where I thought it might be really the end for me.” Despite his efforts, he couldn’t hide the twinge of anxiousness in his voice. He just hoped it didn’t show more than what was necessary. “The Thalmor would never have let me go... No matter what I told them.” He says, gazing deeper into the fire.

Even after escaping, the torture he endured in that place is still freshly imbued in his memory. Every morning waking up to the burning sensation of hot iron digging against his wounds, and those bastards would drag him around to get lashed for hours. He’d be repeatedly whipped again and again, so much that his skin started to peel off; subjected to so much pain, _maddening pain even _, ‘till he passes out. The dark, cold nights wouldn’t even let him rest. Hour by hour his sore limbs gradually numbs, his lids weighed too heavy to resist sleep. But on the times he fell unconscious, his dreams consisted nothing but screams and wailing that synchronized with those imprisoned down with him. In these nightmares, people cry in anguish as the Dominion razes their lands. Their homes. Their families. Screams of the children watching with horror as they slaughter their parents.

As _he _slaughters.... Well.

It honestly pushed him to the edge. Haunting him until he slowly lose much of the fight for his morale and succumb to the idea that he truly deserved the suffering bestowed upon him. Several of those days, they wouldn’t even question him. Just throw him in a large cell with other defenseless and starved prisoners to be mercilessly beaten by Thalmor soldiers until one of the prisoners dies. The interrogator took great pleasure in carving him up whether he answers or not. In fact, he thought he was to meet his end when he was lined up for a session with more _tools _. But all of those took a complete turn when he was freed by this lady placing a hand on top of his and giving him a concerned look.

“Don’t wander off too far.” Her gentle smile betrays the worry filling her eyes. That’s when he realized he’s got his fists curled so hard his fingernails bit into his palms.

“I.. No.. It’s nothing. But... You faced down mortality, too. Perhaps you know the feeling?” He mindlessly searches her eyes for some sort of understanding, some kind of validation that what he’s feeling is just normal. But is it normal to question if he was worthy of salvation? That even after turning back from his previous ways, he still had it coming? Maybe he just wanted to know if she would still risk her neck for him had she known of the things he’d done before.

“.... Kaidan.”

Again with his name. The troubled man comes to his senses. Feeling stupid for asking the obvious, he anchors his gaze on their hands. Hearing her say his name feels like tripping on a minor shock spell. Or maybe that’s because she doesn’t really say it often. Still, it sparks a positive emotion. A sense of familiarity which he hadn’t felt for a terribly long time. Something that lifts them up one step higher than just being two people travelling on the same road or doing the same job. Not that she has to share the feeling. It’s best to keep fleeting thoughts like these to himself. He doesn’t want to make things between their travels any more awkward than it is.

“Of course... Apologies. I didn’t mean to prod old wounds. But after all that’s happened, you’re still standing.” He mutters sheepishly earning a low chuckle from his companion. “You have my gratitude as well, swordsman.” She brushes her fingers over his knuckles and he relaxes under the touch. It’s far from her usual responses which tends to make fun of anything at any given chance. The person he’s talking to feels...

_ Comforting _.

Yes. That’s how this situation makes you feel. Holding this person’s hand didn’t feel weird, not in the least bit. And it doesn’t have to be. You just wanted to extend your assurance. As he spoke earlier, it’s evident that he couldn’t help but relive some of his moments back in that forsaken place. _‘I shouldn’t have pushed. But I’m glad anyway that he shared it with me.’ _You thought. For several long moments of peaceful silence, your hand rested on top of his, and the two of you shared the fire’s warm embrace. Both lost in their own thoughts. Both pondering what will happen next. It’s just like your first night. But you admit this feel much more natural than having to endure each other’s presence. Just then you feel his hand twitch and you slide your hand away, thinking he wants you to let go, yet it turns out the complete opposite as he flips it up to hold you in return.

Your heart jumps a little at the sudden gesture and you wait for him to crack up something smart or embarrassing but he only kept his eyes fixed on you. His firm grip on your hand spoke for itself—he’s worried, though it doesn’t show on his face. “The Thalmor will come for us, won’t they?” You ask, all attempts in keeping up a smile cast away. It can’t be avoided. They may hide and run from them as long as they want. But they’ll always be in the list of targets. He squeezes your hand, “Probably, and we’ll be ready for them. Live and learn right?” a determined smile forms on his lips.

“Live and learn.” You nod, slightly relieved by his courage.

He stands up and reaches for your other hand. “Let’s get you some rest.” Without argue, you take it, and lean on him for balance as the two of you move towards the bed. One hand keeping the blanket in place and the other gripping his sleeve as you struggle to control your still wobbling legs. His other arm wrapped around gives you the opportunity to feel just how well built his physique is and you failed to suppress your envy for it. You better start getting in shape right away.

“What about you?” She asks him as he sits on her bedside. “I’ll keep watch. Someone has to. Don’t worry, I’ll find rest the sooner you get better.” He tells his companion, and he doubles her blanket before wishing her a good sleep.

* * *

The distant blaring of horns echoed throughout the area. Guards wearing Riften uniform and insignia flocked in as well as outside the tavern. “Sir, excuse me. Wh-what’s happening, why are you storming my establishment without notice?” the innkeeper woke everyone in the inn with his panicked cries.

“Stand back, citizen. We’re just here to secure everyone.” One of the guards steps forward to explain the situation. “We need everyone, EVERYONE, to stay indoors. The fort’s currently fighting against a bandit raid. Our orders are to keep everyone safe. We fear some bandits may be ordered to ransack places outside the walls.”

Mixtures of booing and distressed clamoring resonated from every corner of the inn as guards try to calm down the people flooding the main room. From the gap of the slightly open door, you peek at the commotion.

“What’s that all about?”

You could’ve sworn your shoulders jerked so hard it dislocated for a moment there.

“Can you _stop _doing that?” you whispered, baring your teeth at him. After telling you he’ll stand guard, you knew it wouldn’t be surprising to find Kaidan sleeping on the chair when you woke up earlier. Poor thing must be so cold with only those clo-.. Is he wearing armor? “And since when did you equip that armor?” Kaidan, still half asleep, just waves his arms around in a ‘you-know’ kind of gesture, if you’re even reading it right. That’s an _extremely _vague and stupid answer. He opens his mouth to form an anser but you shush him, “Stop. No, don't answer that. _You obviously slept in it _.” You take a final peek at the door before shutting it tight. “Listen, the place is being raided by bandits.” You turn back to him and the swordsman quickly readies his sword at the news despite his disorientation.

“Why are you doing that? We’re not fighting.”

“You just said there are bandits—”

“_ Not exactly here _. At the fort. The guards outside are just here to fight off those who tries to run the place down.”

“The main force will be focused on the fort, then.”

“So we have to sneak out of here immediately before—”

“...before the guards completely secure the area and prevent us from leaving. Aye.”

You smirk at each other. “That’s not a bad morning exercise. You’re quick to catch on things, _droopy eyes _.” You throw in a 'compliment' which didn’t really impress him. The man does look adorable with droopy eyes, though. “Save your flattery for after we get out of this place.” He hurries towards your belongings. “And I don’t _care _if you’re better now. Quit fooling around in inappropriate times.” He scowls. _‘Alright, my lord.’ _You snigger behind his back only to get snapped at another time.

* * *

Once the two are fully geared and ready, both were relieved they rented a room on the first floor. With swiftness and discretion, Kaidan and the woman circles around the scattered crowd and into the kitchen doors leading outside. The forest area isn’t far off from the inn; a few turns, some sneaking, timely hiding behind trees and bushes on the right angles and the woman cheers as they’ve successfully entered the woods.

“Hey, can I borrow the map? Uhm..” She turns around and finds herself alone, her companion nowhere to be seen. Without the luxury to call for him and compromise her location, the lady sat behind one of the trees in hopes that he’ll turn up. _‘If he doesn’t? I mean he has every reason to ditch you.’ _She curses the thoughts away and tried hard to think of something else. Her mind takes her back the moment they had last night. It’s nothing special, but she knew they weren’t just simply strangers anymore. At least, not to her point of view. Friends? No. Not yet. Maybe acquainted is a better term for it. Kaidan trusts her enough with the horse and his bow—he kept her from dying, for the love of gods. They also share a goal at the moment. So he can be trusted. She _should _trust him in return.

_ “Where did those bandits come from? It’s becoming a nuisance.” _

_ “You best be thankful for it. Looks like they’re coming out here in full force. Said it’s about their leader or something. We can clear them all now.” _

Those voices were from guards patrolling the area. Basing on the footsteps, there are about more than five. The woman sinks in her position and follows but kept an open ear as much as she can.

“Aye. Who knew there were so many of them? I bet there’s gonna be more.”

“Haha! More target practice. Good. We men could use more training. But what is it with their leader? Did he command the attack?”

“Well that’s the first thing you’ll conclude but one of the boys caught their first fish outside the farm. He said things about taking over the fort someday and money, you know the usual. But then he also revealed the attack was to seek revenge for the death of their leader.”

“Death? We’ve never had reports of our men or an adventurer bringing him in.”

“That’s the thing. The officers had some men scout the place and they’ve found a handful of rotting bodies with large holes in them.. Like they were impaled. One of them was indeed the bandit’s leader.”

No doubt, the ones they’re talking about are the people she and Kaidan encountered the past day. Hearing this, a fresh wave of anger and guilt quickly washed over the eavesdropping lady. It’s her doing. And once again, the swordsman was right. If they keep leaving a mess, it’ll keep coming back to them. In this case, the whole settlement has to deal with consequences which aren’t their doing.

“Holes? Ha! Those fools must have tangled with one of those mages in the deeper part of the woods.”

“Like a necromancer or a witch? By the gods, why aren’t we rooting them out?”

“This bloody war has every men focused on defending and retaliating against the Imperials. If those mages don’t bother our people, then there’s no need to waste our numbers on them. Jarl’s decision, friend.”

For several minutes, you keep track of them. Talks about patrol routes, bandits, and civil war consumed majority of the conversation but nothing about a ‘Thieves’ Guild’. It’s a good thing you’re light on your feet or you wouldn’t be able to tail them this far. _Wait. _Your hearts skips a beat upon realizing you didn’t keep track of the turns you’ve made. Sure, the settlement couldn’t be far but Kaidan might not be able to tell where you went and the same goes for you. Then all of a sudden, the marching stops. One of the guards spoke in hushed tones and you listen to them spreading out. _‘Shit. Did they find me?’ _Trying to come up with an excuse came to an early end when a heavy and dull thing hits your back. You stumbled on the ground with a loud grunt, hearing wild, guttural cries close in on your surroundings. Despite the ache, you struggle to turn aside and find the person who attacked you. “ _Ugh. _This is an ambush, isn’t it?” you groan weakly and watch as the bandit prepares to swing his axe down on you.

“Gods damn it.”

* * *

Hi, in regards to our MC's wardrobe, I take heavy inspirations from Assassin's Creed's outfits and styles. Just in case anyone's wondering, but of course you can all visualize your LDB wearing any kind of Light Armor as I would rarely refer to what she wears until necessary. :) Thanks for sticking around!  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm slow at this haha. I'm just busy at work so I have little time to switch between playing and writing. But I'm not dropping this fic any time soon. :) We're not even starting yet.


	12. A Debt Owed, A Dance Performed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan seems to forget you're that one who broke him out of the prison. You take him for a dance and show him a performance he won't be forgetting anytime soon... Err.. He and at least all of Fort Greenwall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened, it just... suddenly finished itself. +_+';;

** 011 **

** A Debt Owed, A Dance Performed **

Carefully treading the area and finding only but traces of his companion’s footsteps, Kaidan could almost definitely feel his face slowly contort in frustration. She has a habit of disappearing in critical moments, does she not? Just then, Kaidan spins around towards a tiny explosion not far off from where he’s standing. “That better be her or I’m gonna lose it.” The swordsman whispers gruffly to himself. He whistles to his horse and hope he’s going the right direction as they rush towards south.

* * *

The bandit flew off like a weightless paper ball after taking in the full strength of your fire spell. Still hurt from the blow, you grab the axe and staggered towards the guards.

“Help! Someone! I’m being—_ oh gods. _” None of the guardsmen paid attention to your cries of help as all of them are busy fending off the bandits that outnumbered them. Ten? Twelve. Sixteen. Wait, there’re archers at the back. _Damn bandits, stop multiplying! _You conjure up a restoration spell in your hand to help your bruised back but were instantaneously reminded of what happened the last time you tried healing yourself. With the bandit loudly announcing his proximity towards you, you turn on your heel, swinging the axe around just in time and stick it in his neck. The blade didn’t decapitate him but it buried deep enough. Unfortunately for you, blood spurts stain your new blouse.

_‘Gross. At least I’m wearing black today.’ _

One of the guards howled in pain, gaining your attention. With your companion not around to make the decision, you side with your guts and jumped in to help. You easily flick off the bandits from your safe distance, pulling them by their legs one at a time using telekinesis and flinging them away from the guards.

“What—hey! Who are you?!” They point their weapons at the woman. “Easy! Easy. I’m just lost... _Look out! _” She yelps as her magic barely stops an arrow inches away from piercing one of the guard’s neck. He draws his crossbow at her and yells, “Get away!” and her knees responded on its own. Before she can even get a clear picture of what’s happening or what to do next, she’d already sprinted on their side and the other guard tosses her a short sword as they all prepare for the incoming attackers. “Try not to die, men. Kid.”

Blades met each other; clashing at any moment the wielders get a chance to swing them. Guards fought ferociously and so did the frenzied bandits. But while the barbarians outnumber them and occasionally gets a slash in, none of them felt any lasting pain. “Talos guides us, I feel twice as vigorous as I do in my best days!” one exclaims, and the others agree in chorus, fighting off the bandits with raised morale. It wasn’t long before they realize that the lady caught in battle is the source of their continuous rejuvenation. While she meets her foes in decent to equal swordsmanship, she throws a spell to as many of her allies as possible anytime she gets a safe chance instead of dealing a killing blow to her enemy. The guards know better as well than to let a healer on their side die before a battle ends. “Protect the kid!” The one in charge commands and all of them took formation, guarding the lost woman against their persistent enemies. It’s a sticky spot to get ambushed at, with all the trees and slopes rendering them clueless to where and how many more will arrive. Bandits came from all direction, but the ones using ranged weapons found it hard to penetrate the defense as the lady proved to be keeping a close eye on them while letting the Rift guards deal with those in close combat. Each time she snaps her fingers, both their stamina and strength are amplified and as they take out the outlaws one by one, she couldn’t contain the thrill building inside her.

_ Now this is familiar _.

There’s just something about fighting within a group that makes her feel more..._ herself _. She couldn’t quite put her hand on it yet but things are turning for the better so far. Her movements are more precise, her senses and focus more in synced, and her nerves are less jittery. Of course, it could have been just the fact that she has capable fighters protecting her. Still, she would note that every dodge, spells, and slash executed does not only compliment the movement of those she’s allied with but also effectively counters the enemies’ attacks. The longer she fights, the more her body remembers. And by the gods, does it remember _a lot. _Twirling through this chaos is a child’s play. It is equally confusing as it is exhilarating.

“Bastards! Where are the others! _Urgh! _” The bandit snarls at the other as he retreats back. “They’re supposed to control this route!”

“Don’t know! Those sons of whores should be coming from the hiding spot up north!”

The archer from the back curses loudly at the news of delay, “To oblivion with them! Let’s get this over with! Focus on her, you idiots! Keep that bitch distracted!”

“Get down kid!”

“Back to the Fort! Go north! We can handle this!”

“Run, lass! They’re after you!”

The guards yell at you to take cover and retreat, all of them occupied with their own enemies. Shoving off a bandit after a nice jab on her throat, you quickly back off towards the said direction. Lots of the remaining bandits sprint after you like predators. _‘This is not the kind of attention a person would want!’ _Your adrenaline fuelled senses keep you steady and fast but also out of control. Three more archers emerge from the higher ground, finally blocking your path. “Got you now, bitch.” One growls. Without dilly-dallying, the archers released their arrows all at once. A quick execution of telekinesis swipes the projectiles away but defending against the numerous barbaric men with no one to guard your rear is the problem.

Charging both your hands and taking in a deep breath, you gather fire in your palms, ready for whatever that comes; though you really wish Kaidan would show up now.

“Let’s do this.”

You roared and your first fireball plucks off two enemies like pebbles tossed into water. Performing an evasive spin, you successfully disarm the first bandit to lunge forward, blasting him off with a second fireball whilst holding his sword. Noting the bit of time you’ve got, you release a wave of weak fire across the archers behind you as disruption. And with the window closed, you’ve officially switched to melee combat against two sturdy bandits, knowing you won’t have enough time to properly cast. Exploiting your enemies’ lack of proper armor and their heavy statures, you rely on your nimbleness and instinct; abusing the bit of luck you have and circling around them, making sure the archers wouldn’t get a clear shot as you hide behind the men swinging their heavy weapons. You evade easily enough and got in at least several cuts before your head collides with one of their warhammer’s handle. It’s hard enough catching up with your combat skills _during _a life and death battle, let alone be unable to heal yourself. But you’ve slowed them down for the meantime. You gathered dust and made sure they got close before you spilled it on their eyes. Regaining your footing, you quickly run past the howling bandits and unleash another wave of fire towards the archers. Magicka is largely depleted but it’s still enough.

“You little vermin! I’ll gut you like a fish!” The bandit discards his bow and meets you with his dagger.

“Make up your damn mind!” You scream back, parrying his attack. With the other two behind set to release their nocked arrows, you slash his knee, dragging his skinny body as cover. The arrow pierces his eye, but the other grazes your arm. You curse loudly as you tumble down on the dirt, instinctively charging a spell for your wound, which immediately turned into frost as the second archer prepares to pounce on you. The ice spike hits the person’s side, sending him reeling to your far right. “I’LL KILL YOU!!” The last of the archer shrieks with his axe drawn. Rolling over and casting a regular fireball at him, the bandit staggers back. “Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot since a few days ago.” You murmured in between painful and short breaths as you rise from the ground, putting pressure on your wounded arm. The adrenaline’s still pumping but your body isn’t holding out too well. Sweat and bits of blood slides down from your forehead as your breathing becomes heavier. You take a few steps back, watching the bandits get up on their feet, and you blink to recollect your senses.

_ “You can’t be an expert in everything, my lady.” _

_ “All of you have specialties.” _

_ “As we should. When you progress along, you’ll usually find yourself drawn to a certain... art. Does mastering the blade bring you no joy, my lady?” _

These are new voices. A woman and... That’s strange. The other voice is hers. She knows this, yet the conversation she’s hearing is alien to her.

_ “I want to specialize in providing support.” _

_ “Hahaha. You’re already skillful in a lot of areas. But... Truly? A healer like them?” _

_ “Yes. But I want to assist all of you in more ways than just that.” _

“RRRAAARRGHH—”

You flinch back in shock as the barbarian drops his sword and falls on his knees, just inches in front of you. He coughs up and gurgles out blood, bringing his fingers to the arrowhead sticking out in his throat. Processing what just happened in front of you, you froze up when you catch another one fly past your peripheral. You spin around, seeing a bandit hit the ground with an arrow on his head. Finally recognizing the material, you search the forest up the road ahead and held back the tears welling up in your eyes. It never occurred to you how happy you’d be upon seeing that terrible, _terrible _scowl on his face.

Kaidan glowers as the two of you jog towards each other. He’s got an arrow nocked and blood painted most of his armor a dirty shade of red. _“I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME!” _He really must have yelled that on top of his lungs because your ears rang despite still being almost ten feet away from the fuming swordsman. See how sharp those crimson orbs are glaring at you? That’s it. You’re in for a scolding all the way to Riften and that is if you do not die from his harsh reprimanding first. Congratulations.

“You have an awful habit...” he grunts, releasing an arrow on the enemy, “..of disappearing in the worst time.” He turns to face you, still scowling. “And you have an awful habit of appearing in the best time.” You fumble out a nervous laugh, “_ Hehehe. _Er... Ahem.. Here.. Sorry.” Your eyes traveled back and forth from his grim expression then the armor before you settled down to completely avoiding his furious gaze and just heal him as fast as you can.

“What happened? You walked into the wrong shower room or something?”

“What happened is that you _disappeared _and so following your tracks lead me to a bloody gods forsaken ambush.” He snarls. Geez, talk about temper. “I got out alive and secured our belongings but they got our horse.” Kaidan grumbles. There’s no doubt that he slew most, or even all, of his foes. That also explains the missing back ups those bandits were going on about earlier. Oh that poor thing. No, not Kaidan of course. _The horse! _Why would you pity Kaidan when he’s very much alive and full of vigour as he silently scrutinizes your previous acts of foolishness? All you can do is mumble an apology. The swordsman lifts up a hand and you shut your eyes out of reflex. Expecting something mean, you found it surprising when he just groans and pats your head.

“I gave my word to protect you. So I’m not abandoning you that easily.”

A smile graces your lips then wilts just as fast when you hear him grumble the word ‘yet’ as he walked past you.

Seeing the riot the place has become, the swordsman grimaces, knowing they can’t just leave these filthy bandits to fate. Passing on the bow to his companion, he then tosses her two vials of potions. “Make use of those if you wanna keep breathing.” He tells her as he unsheathes his sword. One is for healing, the other to replenish stamina. The woman gulps it down without question and happily joins him after the liquid takes effect.

“I hope those did not have side effects.”

“Only if you have to keep taking them in.”

She gasps theatrically, “I’ll have you know I handled them long enough until you arrived.” Kaidan only scoffs out a laugh before he charged in. The woman lets loose a few more arrows as the remaining bandits return their fury. Feeling energized after the revitalizing drink, she confronts the enemy with renewed confidence. And when her arrows aren’t fast enough, she slides in, bashing a bandit with the bow before he can tackle Kaidan. “Thanks.” The swordsman huffs. He never fought beside a partner this close before, so he worried a bit when she stuck behind him that they would end up tangled. But he’ll improvise. The bandits surrounding them leaves them little to no choice anyway. On his honor, he will protect her.

“Watch my back, will you.”

“Yeah. Watch mine?”

Taking a breather, they proceed to deflect each enemy attacks; parrying and striking with accuracy, and occasionally shooting when there’s an opening. To the woman, she was just closely watching his back. But to Kaidan, he was fighting alone. That and there’s a killing machine behind him. He would turn around and see a dead bandit that was just screaming at his back seconds ago and those he couldn’t reach would not even get a chance to draw their crossbow when her arrow finds its way to their chests. Kaidan knew she’s behind him the whole time, fighting by his side, he can _feel _her movements in the wind. Strange that he couldn’t get a proper glance at her as her figure would disappear from his line of sight every time he turns to strike a foe. Either he’d become slow or she’s amazingly fluid with her moves. A fight with the likes of these cutthroats can be unpredictable and messy once it’s started, for they are known to fight without honor. But the way she secured his back, ducking and stepping away in perfect timing with his sword; she swirled around him with such ease that he didn’t even have to mind his footing for she’d easily match her step with his. He couldn’t help but wonder if his companion had always been this skilled.

It’s like being under the protection of shapeless force.

One by one, the bandits’ numbers dwindled, and they drove them back until the last ones met their ends by having their heads decapitated by the guards. The lot greeted the two travellers and gave them gratitude for their help. Kaidan didn’t mind being recognized by guards, although he is taken aback by the amount of praise his companion is receiving.

“We draw breath to this moment, thanks to the two of you. Especially you, kid. Those bandits easily outnumbered us but your quick reactions contributed more than you can imagine.” The captain claims. The woman only nods with a meek smile as she heals the rest of the guards. “And you over there,” He approaches the quiet swordsman, currently busy salvaging quivers from corpses, “we would be in more trouble hadn’t you delayed their back ups. I know it was by accident, still you have our gratitude, friend.”

“Aye. What’s done is done.”

“If you don’t mind...” Ohhh but he _does _mind. They should be halfway to Riften right now. Those words could already guarantee an eye roller.

Not that he didn’t want to help. He just wants to get out of this place before the Thalmor get a clue on them. Neither he nor his companion should take a risk in this. Not yet.

“The main attack is directed on the Fort. And this is just an ambush to secure a route. There will be twice or more of their numbers there.” The guard waves his hand on the corpses lying around. Ah yes, call for adventurers, call for the courageous. Bandits wouldn’t be a massive headache if not for this damn war tearing the country and keeping the leaders’ attention elsewhere.

“What? That many?” The lady asks. “Aye, lass. Recent reports said the bandit clans are joining forces to throw us out. As if Imperials weren’t trouble enough.” One of the guards she’s healing spits out bitterly. “Looks like getting their leader killed pushed them to enact their plans earlier than supposed to. There are a lot of them but they aren’t very coordinated.” Another further explains.

Kaidan looks back at the captain then on his companion. “We could really use as much help defending the fort. Our healers aren’t plenty and we’re thinned out enough as it is from fighting off those Thalmor bootlickers.” The captain makes one last appeal to the swordsman. “Uhh.. I dunno. We really need to get to Riften.” Kaidan scratches his head. “Riften? Without a horse? Alright we’ll make you a deal. If you help us up there, we’ll secure you a free ride and _entry _to the city.”

Seeing the conflict in his eyes, you excuse yourself from the other men and approach them. “You should get going there, sir. I’ll talk to him.” You smiled politely as the captain returns the gesture. “Think about it, travellers.” He says as they marched up the road back to Greenwall.

Once they disappeared from sight, the two of you glanced at each other. “Look. Those bandits from yesterday.. I’ve heard that was the leader. I _killed _the leader.” You tell him, staring into his eyes. “I know it has little to do with us. But I feel guilty for speeding things up into motion.”

“You’re not seriously taking that offer are you?” Kaidan asks with raised brows. “Guards repel bandit attacks every time. They’re called guards for a reason.”

“Oh, don’t get snippy on me. I couldn’t care less any more than you but... where did you even hide _your _pack?” You ask, suddenly wide eyed at the discovery of the missing baggage.

“I buried it.”

“You w—”

“We can walk from here and pick it up.” He cuts to the chase before your eyes could expand to more than what he’s comfortable with. “Then we’ll be on our way to Riften. It’s just hours down Greenwall.” Trying to talk you out of it doesn’t seem to work as your pouting is already an answer. But that’s the kind of spirit that beat the shit out of those Thalmors so he couldn’t really complain about it now. Or can he?

“Well, they can give us a horse _if-we-help _.”

He squints, briefly eyeing you up and down, “Are you sure you’re still in condition? You already exhibited an impressive amount of skills a while ago.” Upon hearing him acknowledge your deed, you bit your lip, trying to conceal the excitement. “Oh that. I was also surprised with how naturally it came back. Weren’t you as well?” you giddily brought your hands together. The swordsman’s scowl broke into a half grin, “Sure it did.” Even he couldn’t resist sharing in your joy. “And you didn’t even use magic in there. Well bloody done.” You’re not really sure what he meant by that but he pats your head with an approving look on his face and that’s what matters. This gesture better not become a habit of his, though. But since he gave you a compliment, you’ll let this pass for now.

“So does your debt extend to lending me a hand in killing bandits?”

“Are you kidding me? And after what you just displayed? I’ll be glad to fight alongside you until that debt is repaid.”

* * *

Shortly after arriving at the place of event, half of the enemies have already fallen but a lot of guards are also wounded. Few bounty hunters and capable men have aided in guarding the civilians, slaying a bandit when they come across one but they lacked healers. An adventurer lurched behind a stone pillar, covering the chest wound hidden under his destroyed chainmail. The bandit got him good, but he was the one who sank a knife down his enemy’s face. So here he is, struggling to keep his legs standing and eventually sliding down against the dusty old wall. He coughs out some blood and looks up at the bright sky through clouded vision. May Kynareth ease his passing to Sovngarde. It’s a good day to meet the gods. Succumbing to his wounds, the fellow closes his eyes as the warm embrace of death engulfs him.

“Are you done? There’s a larger fight right over there.” Kaidan whispers to his companion as he tightens the grip on his sword. “Why did you even wait for him to lose consciousness before healing the poor lad?” he adds. The girl snickers silently as she tiptoes past the body and draws her—his-.. and draws _THE _bow. He ought to get her a weapon of her own other than that dagger. “Can you imagine his confusion upon waking up and initially thinking he’s a ghost. _Hehehe. _” She keeps her giggling to a minimum. Not that it doesn’t paint an entertaining scene to observe but they’ve got larger matters to focus on right now, namely, the barbarians rushing towards them. Kaidan hisses at his companion to focus and she just stares him dead in the eyes before uttering the words... What did she say? She already ran off to find a good spot. In any case, he knew it wasn’t nice. Gods watch over them, here comes the first enemy—

‘_ Four.... Five.... Six.... Sev—missed. Seven.... Se-.. SEVEN! Damn that orc to oblivion, why wouldn’t he die!? Nevermind. Kaidan will take care of him.’ _You angrily exhaled with a groan as you release yet another shot on some other target. _‘Eight! Yes!’ _Your silent cheers were easily cut short upon hearing a familiar scream from nearby. Instantly abandoning your perfectly elevated position in the empty carriage, you race towards the guards being pushed back from the gate. Kaidan calls for you but he will manage those two bandits just fine.

_ ‘Perfect. They’re compressed together.’ _

Confirming there’s no enemy in the retreating group, you hide behind a smelter, charging both your hands and focused a stream of healing magic towards them. Just then you hear something clash against the metal serving as your cover. A bandit falls dead behind you, scaring you a bit.

“Glad to see you here kid.” The patrol captain offers you an exhausted smile, pulling out his sword from the back of the corpse. Splatters of blood decorated the Rift guard’s armor, and without a word you loosed a healing spell at him.

“Many thanks. Ready to end this?”

“That’s why we’re here, sir.” you nod, eyes reflecting the old captain’s determination.

With a final and heavy grunt, Kaidan cuts the orc down. It makes a sloshing noise as the nodachi is slowly taken out of the bandit’s torso. _‘This journey gets more and more complicated than I suspect it would. I won’t go back on my word just because of this, though. Get yourself together Kaidan. Those weeks made you sloppy.’ _He wipes away sweat from his face and quickly prepares himself to fight his way to you. But that proved to be unnecessary.

Viewing from a distance, the swordsman stood in astonishment at the battle happening in front of him. Right in the middle of the fight, his companion stood her ground against a bandit; her dagger slicing through the man’s wrist, and on her other hand she charges a spell that emitted the radiance of healing magic. With a snap of her fingers, a wounded guard instantly sprung up on his feet and tackled the brute twice his size away from her. Hard for Kaidan to admit but she reacts fast. _Devastatingly fast. _But why is this even a surprise when she confronted those Thalmors head on during their escape?

Amidst the chaos, red eyes followed her around. Her every step, every spell she throws, each evasion made her look like she’d choreographed the whole scene. She _almost _never bothers to look behind her. At times she does, it’s to heal the wounded. What she does, however, is twirl around the place, score some slashes and swiftly disarm bandits, granting an opening for the guards who are more than happy to take.

Then it hits him.

The confidence of the guards, the fervor in their movements—it’s her. All she has to do is heal the men as much as her magicka runs. In return, they watch her back at all costs. And that sly smile of hers is the only thing he needed to understand what’s happening. Kaidan lowers his sword, trudging towards a log and slumping down on it. He stretches his neck and relaxes, picking up a ruined piece of mantle to wipe the stains off his blade.

This is no battle to her. It’s a dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gods what am I doing up so late. ;w; I finished Maelstrom, a fully voiced follower (like an actual VA), and yeah she is another lady follower but guyyys the quest itself is to already die for! I actually yelled at my PC when I beat it! :D Anyway, I think I pushed myself a little far this week haha, I'll go back to my slow pace. But I hope anyone who is reading this far is enjoying it at least. Thank you, thank you for all the kudos and views. I didn't really expect to gain this much audience haha ^^;;


	13. City of Thieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a look around Riften aka The city of thieves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'll be slow but the happenings keep writing itself. It's scaring me--

** 012 **

** City of Thieves **

It took several more minutes but the defense was a success. A group of scouts have been deployed to finish off the remaining stragglers. All of Fort Greenwall was filled with thunderous roar of cheers and laughter. Nothing like a good bandit raid to appease the Nords’ hunger for glory in battle. This should keep them talking for a week.

“That wasn’t so bad, right? I know you were watching.” You skipped towards Kaidan, placing back your dagger in its sheath. You fall flat on the dirty ground beside his log, not even giving any care to how much dirt your armor and clothes are getting. It’s all filthy and stinking with blood anyway. Shaky fingers reach for your brows and you wince, touching the stinging wound on it.

“And here I thought you were untouchable with those acrobatic reflexes.” He smugly comments, making you chuckle. Gods, your lungs are being squeezed with every exhale. “How’re your scratches?” He asks.

You return his gaze and stretch a trembling palm open onto the clear blue sky. “Is it okay if I tell you I’m aching all over? I think I twisted my limbs out there too much.”

“Did you now? You should be ashamed of yourself. Go train some more.” He laughs lightly. It’s nice to see a stoic person like him smile. _Even if it is at your expense. _You take a deep breath as you close your eyes.

That fight could have gone better and faster. There’s some truth in Kaidan’s joke if you give it a thought. You can’t rely on life and death situations to trigger your memory. What if it doesn’t? The body will remember even if you don’t, so you ought to train more.

After wiping the blade completely clean, Kaidan notices the lack of dialogue from the body resting beside him. “Oi, there’s enough space beside me y’know. Don’t even expect me to wash your bloody clothes.” And when he didn’t get a response, he leans over. _‘Divines grant me more patience.’ _An exasperated sigh finds its way out of him upon seeing his companion sleeping dead as a rock.

“_ Aha! _There you are-.. Oh, what happened to the kid?” It was the patrol captain the two of them saved earlier. “Nothing grievous. Just knocked out I guess.” The swordsman shrugs nonchalantly. “Understandable. I’ll cut this short. You and other civilians who helped in the fight deserve a reward. And as per our deal, I’ve secured a ride for the two of you on Riften.” The captain grins widely under his thick beard. “No imperials, no charges, and certainly no bloody Thalmors. It’s all yours, if you’ll still take it. Right outside the barracks.” He points to the direction and Kaidan nods at the guard. “We appreciate it. You have our thanks as well, sir.” He says as he kneels down to pick up the woman.

“Well if I may ask... Why Riften of all places?” The guard suddenly inquires. “I know, I know. It’s beautiful within the Rift, but the city itself isn’t exactly the friendliest.”

Kaidan stayed his breath but revisiting what happened yesterday, he gave in. “We’re visiting the Temple. My companion still needs to be checked by a healer.”

The guard almost cracks up but didn’t when he saw the swordsman’s humorless face. “A healer? Isn’t she an adept one already? Haven’t fought beside a warrior of their likes in ages. They’re hard to come by.”

“Aye. However, she can’t heal herself for some reason.” He tried to explain what he understood but he was just as confused as this guard right now. “I brought her here because the last time she used some healing magic on herself, she ended up poisoning her system. It was…terrible.” Kaidan felt sick just picturing how fast she turned pale. Her veins ran blue and she was cold, almost close to a corpse before she burned up in a blink of an eye.

The guard’s eyes widen with horror, “But she can heal anyone other than herself?” he pauses and grimaces upon receiving confirmation. “Could it be that she’s placed with a curse? Yeesh, gods! Go now, you two. Pray that Divines lift the vileness in her.”

Kaidan could only try and hide how unsettled he is by the suggestion. The twisted nature of magic. Nords are wise not to trust the very thing witchcraft is born from. He bid farewell to the guards as he carried his companion to their carriage. A torn paper fell out of her pouch as he placed her down. Taking a seat inside their cramped space, he analyzes the item. It was old and stained with dried blood for the most part. “…A life behind bars…” He utters silently, reading through the scribbles and smudges as the carriage start to move. Well he didn’t understand a single bloody thing in that message except the note appeared to be written by one of those cats from the South. ‘Khajiit’ is what they are called. Not that he cared, but why would she keep this one undiscussed? If chances are good, finding that fellow can be an opportunity to shed some light on her past.

_ ‘Geez… I shouldn’t pay mind to her story and just focus on my search while we’re travelling.’ _He chides himself.

Kaidan carefully stuffs back the note inside the pouch and studies her in the process. She didn’t look too young or older; she’s around his age if he takes a guess. Just what was she doing with her life before they met? Ah, but how can he say otherwise? With the things he got involved, the atrocities he’d done after his mentor passed away… he was quite the overachiever himself. Fretful eyes stuck on the fort as it slowly recedes from their view. His companion better get her strength for the next few hours. The city of thieves awaits them.

* * *

You shudder lightly, the cool breeze of winter caressing your cheeks. Feeling the soft and inviting warmth of his hand rubbing your head, you scoot closer. He welcomes you with a friendly greeting and shares his blanket, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Mmm. You’re very warm.” You mumble, nuzzling comfortably. He smelled of nice old leather and faint hints of grass… and home. His fur tickles your face but it keeps your nose from freezing off. He chuckles lowly. “This one is pleased to be of service to you, my lady.”

Opening your eyes, you find the good ol’ fur bag Anduniel gifted you under your head. You blink a few times. The skies are smeared with hues of lavender and blue, and the clouds streaked the heavens of thin whites and faded orange. A few stars twinkled faintly and people have lit their torches and lamps. It’s dusk. Letting your vision fall, you study the surroundings. You’re in a carriage; in a slightly more populated area than the last place you remember setting foot in. High walls tower over the stables and Rift guards seem to have more presence here. Hold on a minute. You quickly got up, alarming your companion who’s just about to get off the ride, “We’re here!” you gawk at him in disbelief. “Uhh… Yes.” The slightly confused man hops down the cart and offers you his hand. “Well, come on now. I hear the inns here are selling quality booze.”

Passing under the city gates offered you a good look of the wall’s stonework. Lots of the design here carried out back to the old fort but these here are more intricate and obviously well funded in maintenance. As soon as you entered the main street, prying eyes didn’t waste a second in latching themselves on you and Kaidan further drags you beside him as you walked along.

“No need to worry. Any cutpurse who tries to steal your coin, I’ll take their hands m’self for a trophy.” He places you on lead as caution drips in his tone.

“It’s that dangerous here?”

Your companion places a hand on your shoulder and starts to explain quietly, “Aye. Riften is home to the Thieves Guild and many of their so-called associates. It’s Skyrim’s worst-kept secret.” That makes sense of course.

_ ‘A town crawling with Thieves; just what in oblivion were you thinking hanging around with them?’ _

“You took a job from them. Does this place trigger no memories?” He whispers even quieter.

“We just entered. I’ll update you if it does, silly.”

The wary swordsman responded with a quick hum as both of you made your way to the center Plaza. Even when you kept your eyes solely focused down on the pavement, you can’t help the uneasiness building in your guts. The people directly avoided making eye contact with you, if not observing you like you’re some kind of freak. If it’s appearance, then the city is nice and simple enough. But the locals and even the nobles here look poor. It’s best to not linger around for too long. Talk to the priest, settle some business with the Thieves’ Guild, and run like hell.

After a few more minutes of walking and trying to maintain an unbothered expression from all the peering gazes, the two of you have reached the center of the city. The place is spacious and clamoring with tourists and locals alike despite the dark settling in. It’s an entirely different universe once you stepped inside the marketplace. Oh, you can happily get lost feasting your eyes on all these colorful booths!

The ground is neatly designed in cobblestones and pebbles that match the architecture of the city walls. There’s a beautiful old wellspring that stood in the middle of it all, surrounded by several benches offering rest to anyone who stops by. Underneath runs a stream that connects to the waters of Lake Honrich outside. Most of the construction under the bustling city center is made of wooden planks, leading to the piers, and so are the bridges connecting the plaza to the city. Now getting a good look at your surroundings, most of the city is actually spilling over the lake with majority of the establishments and residence being held up by structures largely made of wood. Only a selected few is made of entirely stones, and those are obviously owned by either a governing figure or the richest families.

Other than the main marketplace, the rest of the city looked run down. Especially the area under the plaza.

“Don’t let your guard down.” Kaidan pushes you lightly and grabs a hold of your arm as he drags you out of the crowd. “And keep your hands clutched on your valuables.” He warns, “Look over there, I found the Temple. Let’s keep moving.” Man, he seems to be taking this body guarding duty a tad too serious.

* * *

Heavy steps dragged noisily and slowly across the wooden floor. Kaidan exhales through his nose, running his hands on the messy half bun. It turns out the head Priest, Maramal, was sent to Greenwall the same time they set out for the city. He will return first thing in the morning, greatly infuriating the restless swordsman. None of the other temple healers presented a better, less disheartening opinion than what Kaidan had already heard from earlier. But they assured him that his companion will receive the best treatment they can provide if they would be so kind as to wait for their leader’s return.

Pushing the Temple doors open with great effort, the exhausted traveler heaved a sigh as he spots you still lingering around a statue of Mara. _‘Take a breather, man. You’re just tired. She’s not a burden. She’s just… lost for the most part.’ _He collects whatever’s left of his patience and calls out to you.

“Hey, are you with me or what?”

You snap out of your musing and retreat to him. “Sorry. Let’s just find an inn to rest for now. I’m sure your body’s aching a bit from earlier as well.” You give his armor a light tap. He grabs your hand and guides you to walk slightly ahead of him, closing the distance between you two as much as possible. “Unless you are going to offer me some good rubbing on m’back, then there is no need. Someone has to keep an eye out.” You feel his hand gently usher you in another direction, “But sure, I’ll stop for a bottle of Black Briar or two… Or three or four.”

“Oh? Brimming with coins now, are you? But I suppose we deserve some slack after losing the horse and getting caught up in that raid.” Agreeing with him is easy, especially when you desperately want a change of attire. A nice warm bath sounds nice. And only inns or bunkhouses offer those. Maybe you’ll take that third or fourth bottle of his with you when you do.

The two of you bantered on quietly, walking side by side. But your mind had quite the difficulty forgetting the Statue back in the Temple. The attendants call her a Divine, and that her name is Mara. She represents love and compassion, and that Skyrim needs to remember her loving light in these testing times, or at least that’s what they said. You’re not interested in religious topics, though. You’re curious why the Goddess looked an awful lot like the glowing Lady who broke your chains.

* * *

Keys jingled as you fumbled with it. Keerava, the Bee and Barb’s Argonian innkeeper, said one is for the bathhouse, three are for the cabinets, and one for the door. But when her partner, Talen-Jei, gave it to you, he wasn’t very clear on where in oblivion is the damned key for the room. Several curses escaped under your breath as you agonize to meet the bed waiting on the other side.

“Calm down. Here, let me.” Kaidan appears out of nowhere and take the keys from you.

“It’s frustrating! On the way here, I even dreamt about cuddling next to a speaking furry fellow and woke up crushing my fur bag instead.” You said and for some reason Kaidan froze solid for a second. “I don’t recall properly. It felt like we were really close, though. In a family kind of way-.. I mean.. We were travelling together. Oh dear, maybe that bag really was just comfortable.” You vented out. “I guess I’m just desperately in need of rest from being sick and caught up in a fight.” You sighed, shaking your head.

He sends you a side glance, “Speaking furry fellow? You mean a Khajiit?” A khajiit? What’s that again? Oh. The cat people! You urge him to enlighten you and he does. “The ones who grew up in their traditional culture address themselves rather uniquely, never in first person, and they’ve got those southern accents you can’t mistake for any other race. They hail from a province notably known as Elsweyr. Feline ears, long bushy tails, claws and whiskers, you know, like-.. like cats.”

He goes on a lengthy description, and you nod your head at every detail coming back to you until the lock finally clicks. With a gentle push, the door swings open, revealing a medium sized bedroom. You chirped at his success. “Do you know you look like a puppy with that face? Stop beaming at me.” He teases, stepping inside the room and placing his bag on your bed.

“Woah! Why are you.. This is _my _room!” You confronted him as he sat on the mattress.

He reluctantly casts you a glance, lying down to savor the soft, warm furs. “Do I look like I spit money? Two room’s too expensive. And there’s a lot of space here for two lightly geared passersby.” He tells you, already halfway to dreamland.

“You certainly know how to push the limit at times, y’know. Don’t tell me you’re gonna share a bed with me every time?” You ask, arms crossed and leather boots impatiently tapping the floorboards for an answer. The waiting was short, but the answer you got is nothing but a faint buzz of his snoring. Great. _‘That’s some otherworldly method of keeping an eye out.’ _You scoff.

Raising a brow, you lock the door behind and dropped dead on the space beside him. Well he’s not wrong, there’s still enough space for the two of you. It’s not like you mind being this close; you’ve gotten more comfortable around him for the past days after all. Funny how things between the two of you evolved in just a short span of time. From strangers sharing torture to strangers sharing a bed. Hey, that’s better by a hundred fold if anyone asks!

Trying to close your eyes and continue your interrupted rest from earlier is clearly impossible with his noisy breathing. A good amount of Telekinesis can flip him over or place him on the floor without you breaking a sweat. But you’re not the oblivious airhead you appear to be. There’s not a single moment where he encouraged you to use magic aside from healing or cracked up even the faintest smile whenever you use magic in his vicinity. Just like most Nords, he’s not very trustful of magic. And so ever since noticing this, you vowed to minimum your use of it around him unless necessary. _‘Urggh but I want to just strangle him a bit right now!’ _Coming to the conclusion that you can’t lift him on his normal clothes using only physical strength, let alone move the man stuffed inside that huge chunk of metal, you turn to the best solution... Give up.

Sitting back up in frustration, you bared your teeth at him and groaned inaudibly; restraining every urge to choke your companion. _‘That ‘muffle’ or ‘silence’ spell-thing the Thalmor mage did would really be useful right now but-.. Damn it to oblivion!’ _Tossing your arms up in sheer frustration, you stormed out of the room, cupping your face with those itching hands before it decides to shove a cloak in his mouth.

The time for dinner’s just about done and more are going out than in the tavern. You slide in one of the empty tables in the far corner, wanting to dampen your temper with that bottle of Black Briar mead before you proceed to the bathhouse. One bottle became two then three and kept multiplying after that, or is that your vision doing the fancy tricks? Everything felt woozy before things got completely snuffed out.

-

Waking up hours later with Keerava lightly patting your back, your head suffered from the pulsating ache and fatigue. “Passing adventurers like you do not want to fall asleep here. Thieves and burglars are all over the place. Even the guards can be bought.” She warns, explaining that a guard asked for you and upon locating, stopped by your table for a bit and quickly left without even buying anything. You give her your thanks along a few more septims as tip their honest service. Even the guards? That sort of explains why the patrol men held gloomy expressions upon hearing from you that your initial destination was towards Riften. None of them spoke against it, but you can just scratch it out as them not wanting to risk losing their jobs for testifying against the Hold they serve. After the concerned hostess left, you noticed a small piece of paper which wasn’t there before tucked underneath one of the emptied bottles. There’s a note, saying “_ I am ready _” and you read the message written behind it.

_ “My friend. I am ready to pay what I owe. Find me in Riften Jail. I will be waiting.” _

The letter is then marked by someone named_ “Inigo”. _

It didn’t made sense at first, but as you read it once more, all effects of the alcohol instantly flew off, taking your heart with it which you caged back right away. Numbing hands reach for the pouch. Thankfully, it did not get snatched, thanks to your companion. Taking out the only item of importance in it, you unfold the old stained note retrieved from the Thalmor prison, and the words written inside sparked agitation.

_ “…A LIFE BEHIND BARS WILL KEEP THIS ONE ALIVE..” _

You almost bit your tongue from holding back a loud cry, remembering it’s already in the dead of the night. _‘Could it be? It undoubtedly came from the guard! It’s meant for me without mistake!’ _Finally, finally, a possible clue appears! Forget the Temple of Mara for now! Be this one a foe or not, you ought to check it. No doubt they may hold information you seek about yourself. Could be anyone in a prison but your gut is just twisting with anxiety seeing the striking similarities of the contents. Hurriedly racing upstairs to take a bath, you lightly skipped through the inn, careful not to wake anyone but also swiftly moving.

Maramal can wait.

The Thieves’ Guild can wait.

But you can’t.

* * *

**KAIDAN: **WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

**YOU: ** _MY NAME IS--_

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'M Drunk when I wrote half of these but heeey you know who's making an appearance next. ><;;
> 
> Thank for all those kind and patient enough to see this through! Thank you... I don't deserve you guys Q.Q


	14. Our Blue Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ecstatic to meet your new friend, you hurry towards Riften Jail. Kaidan doesn't share the same feelings, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henlo fren. You are so amazing for reading this far. I hope my writing doesn't burn your eyes. And if it does, don't hesitate to bring in helpful and constructive tips so I can be better! >< Again, I welcome all fans of mod companions as well to scream how much you love them in the comments hahaaha :'D gods I love Inigo.

**013**

**Our Blue Friend**

There was no dream. No nightmares. No Thalmors. Certainly no cultists screaming for his head. It’s just dark. And his body found rest,  _ actual rest _ ever since riding that carriage off to Ivarstead. Having his neck saved by someone didn’t turn out to be the biggest surprise. It was finding out that this ‘someone’ hasn’t got the slightest clue who they were prior to being taken by the Thalmor. But just taking in all the attributes and quirks she had displayed so far, no doubt she’s well trained and she hasn’t even remembered everything yet. Someone as skillful as that could only mean a path filled with harder challenges.

Aside from the constant creaking of the windows outside and distant wolves howling in the night, there are nearby ones that kept pulling him out of his dreamless slumber. Like that of footwear and light items falling softly, some thudding and scraping sounds looping around on the floorboard. Blinking open his eyes, he catches a blurry image of someone moving by the lantern. Kaidan rubs his eyes for better adjustment and his jaw slowly falls open at the sight in front of him.

She stood sideways from his direction, rid of her coat and struggling to tie the corset hugging her waist. The tunic hanged loosely, still unlaced, exposing much of her right shoulder. The woman,  _ his  _ companion, stood in front of him, stripped from most her clothing. The fabric tipping on the skin of her chest danced in rhythm with her movements, offering a tiny peek of the mounds beneath in an almost teasing way. And when she reaches down to pick up something on the floor, his eyes automatically snapped to the bottom hem of her garment, only to realize she wasn’t wearing any pants; or at least she was going to with the trouser she held in her arms. But that detail went right above over his head.  _ ‘This is not a dream. I’m not in a dream.’ _ He kept repeating as his mind registers the shape of her legs, her thighs, and stopping short on the blessed curves of her hip _ .  _ He absolutely had no idea why he can’t tear his gaze away and why blood keeps rushing in his head, though he wasn’t sure  _ which one,  _ but he isn’t about to find that out with her looking at him like that.

“Hello?”

The soft kindling inside the lantern was enough to illuminate two nervous eyes that snatched him of his breath. Kaidan stiffens—not in  _ that _ way, the moment she called him. Really, he wanted to apologize first, but for some reason a different set of words spilled out of his mouth. “Did something happened?”

Looking as dumbfounded as him, the woman returns the question. “What ‘something’?” She backs away a bit from the man rising on his position.

Scratching his head and looking around, he shot her an apologetic gaze. “Sorry if this seems rude... But did.. Between us.. Did we do  _ something _ ?” he almost chokes out. Shor’s bones, this is stupid. He sounds stupid.

“I’m asking you, what ‘something’??  _ You’re _ scaring me.” the woman panics a bit, not knowing what the hell should she answer him with.

“I mean-.. You-you’re...” he gestures at her, having an internal turmoil on how to put his thoughts to words. “I guess what I.. What I wanted to know is where-.. Uh, why.. Why are you undressed?” He finally asks, flushed red as an apple. Numerous ‘what ifs’ flooded his mind that keeps multiplying by the second.

The woman is then hit with her own share of embarrassment, her face being set ablaze after finally understanding what he meant and what made him assume wrongly. “No! It’s not what you think!” She scuffles back to the clutter of travel attire scattered on the floor, picking up more cover for her slightly exposed state. “I-.. We didn’t-whatever it is, just... Just look away please..?” she anxiously pleads and Kaidan abides to her request, equally flustered.

For the next few minutes of tripping on words, the swordsman listened intently and was kind enough not to say anything that’ll take the awkwardness a level higher. You told him how you just took a bath and that you decided to change your clothes in the room since he’s fast asleep; also assuring him that nothing was done to him before he woke up, and the man just uncharacteristically nods his head to whatever jumbled explanation you spewed out until you finally got both your legs in a trouser. Why is it that whenever things between you and your companion are beginning to warm up, something inconvenient transpires and catapults the two of you away from each other again.

“Right. Ahem. Why are you in such a hurry anyway?” He casts you a quick glance, still hesitating to face you after the scene moments ago. “I’m going to Riften Jail right away.” You whispered, working on your coat. “You are  _ what _ ?” he asks, slightly confused and probably thinking he misheard you.

“I’m going to jail.”

“What for?”

Gods, is he still asleep? “No, not like that.. Uh, I’m meeting someone.” The clanking of his armor tells you he turned around to your direction. No need to face him back, you can almost trace the creasing of his brows with the way he scoffs. “Are you sure? In jail? In the middle of the night?” You shrug in response, diligently tying your laces.

Hearing him approach, the usually stern looking man startles you as he casually takes over your work. You even surprise yourself with how easily you welcome him into your space. “You’re doing it wrong.” He mutters, standing just inches from you. You could almost feel the warmth of his breath when he breathes out. “I know. Zorya did it for me.” You bit your lip, stealing a glance at him. His eyes are firmly locked down on the laces of your coat. “You’re not allergic to asking for help, are you?” He gestures for you to watch. “I assumed you did not know how.” And he just grins at what you said, eyes lowered as he carefully shows you how wrong you are. “I said I’m not comfortable with leather, not that I’ve never had to work on one. Also, steel armours are held with laces on some parts.” He explains, looking up to meet your eyes. “Don’t cause trouble in the prison, yeah?”

Maybe the alcohol still got some kicks left. You don’t recall his eyes looking this soft—in a good way. It’s always filled with worry, anger, or gloom or anything between those emotions. But never anything positive. Sure he banters, and laughs, and flashes his confidence in battle. But those are all empty and shallow smiles. The one he’s offering you now speaks of trust.  _ ‘Or maybe you’re just reading into it too much.’  _ You return a shy smile and politely stepped back.

“Curious. I thought you’d disagree. Maybe scold me a little about how it doesn’t fit the schedule.. Heh.” You fidget with your fingers, half expecting him to take back his words and say he’s just joking. Kaidan shakes his head, “I’m the one in your service. Not the other way around.” He blinks and all of a sudden, the smile fades and he’s back to being the same guarded person you met. His expression hardens, looking away from you.

“After the prison, I still feel like we’re being watched so I’m being as careful as I can. Things aren’t exactly looking up if you noticed. Now I know I said I’ll keep you safe, but that doesn’t give me the right to take away your decisions. So I owe you an apology... If I came off harsh to you.”

Shocking isn’t it.That those heart warming words were spoken with such coldness; you don’t even know how to feel about it. But if there’s one thing you got clear, it’s that he isn’t always excessively on edge like this.

“I understand, Kaidan.”

“I’ll be here when you return.”

* * *

Following the directions Kaidan gave you proved to be simple enough. With the streets empty and the town guards slacking off, walking in the shadows of the Jarl’s residence, Mistveil Keep, is easy with your flexibility. Of course you aren’t completely invisible, some still saw you. It is troubling, however, how the homeless watches the streets better than those sworn to protect it. With light feet and quick movements, you successfully entered the front gate of the prison. Now there should be a guard stationed not far at a second door and who can be bribed according to your companion. Carefully approaching and asking entry in exchange for money, the guard was more than willing to cooperate, just like Kaidan said. Looks like your swordsman is more familiar with the city than he is letting on.

From there, the path is pretty much straightforward. A somewhat spacious lobby, several seats and table, and some locked rooms which you assumed are not for visitors to peek on. There’s a note sitting on a bowl, confirming a ‘crazy khajiit’ taking residence in one of the cells. Making a turn, you accidentally come face to face with a guard.

“What are you doing here?” She demands.

“I-I uhh.. Um, there’s-..”

Not waiting for any answers, the guard walks on shaking her head. “You lot from the Thieves’ Guild best make your businesses here quick. Keys’ are in the drawer over there.” She mutters without looking back. Disregarding the way your soul briefly left your body during the encounter, you gathered your breath with newfound conviction. The other guards posted around seemed to pay you no attention upon hearing you're from the guild and just went about with their own activities. “So the government here is that corrupt.” You murmured, carefully treading the cells one by one and taking the keys.

Reaching a certain area, you hear someone talking in the next prison. The voice is croaky but in a pleasant way, and he is speaking with someone called‘Mr. Dragonfly’. Drawing close, you see a prisoner sitting by the table. He falls immediately silent and something above his head twitches.  _ Ears. _ But for all that’s good and honest, you didn’t mean to spook the... ‘ _ Khajiit..?’  _ Catching sight of the fellow stirred confusing flashes of memories. ‘ _ The furs in the dream.. is from a khajiit. _ ’ And he’s standing right in front of you, looking back with recognition at the woman outside his cell. It’s him, right?

The one who wrote the letter.

The one you travelled with.

The one behind bars.

_ It has to be him _ .

You place one foot in front of the other like moving through thickened snow; shaking off the whispers and hazy images forming in front of you. The khajiit turns around to fully face you in equal pace and you felt your heartbeat grow faster. Gradually getting your vision to stabilize, you noted that it wasn’t the bad lighting of the candles on his table; his fur is  _ actually  _ blue. He wore only a simple trouser, same as you did while imprisoned. Scars made from scratches decorated his face and his hair is stark black. In that candlelit room, he carried eyes that shined curious and wide.

_ Just like it always used to. _

Why does he feel like a stranger and yet look so familiar? No. Wait. Your mind pleaded to investigate every fact, but your heart begged to differ. And it hasn’t led you to unwise decisions so far, so what’s the harm in trusting it to bring judgement now? This is not just some desperate yearning for clearance of your past. He knows you—his eyes tell you so.

So is it him? It has to.  _ He has to be _ .

Reaching the door of his cell, you stared at each other, loss for words yet fevered to say something. Anything will do, really, but your stupid lips remained sealed in a straight line. You hurriedly opened the cell and stepped in, still jittery but determined. Just when you’re about to pry open your mouth, he takes a seat and balls his fists on his lap, looking you straight in the eye like a dying man.

“Come to kill me at last have you? Thank the gods, I can bear the guilt no longer.”

That is definitely what you expected for an introduction. “Excuse me?”

“I know I must die. Beware though, my newfound honour demands I protect myself.” The blue fellow spared no time waltzing around the topic. But heaven’s sake, you're not about to bloody your weapon especially when you don't have a strong enough reason to.

“Wait. Do you know me?” you ask.

“I am in no mood for jokes. Strike me down! Take your revenge!” He is eager to die for some reason. And at  _ your _ hands at that.

Still unconvinced, you prolong the conversation. “I.. Honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” You let your eyes roam freely, as if a memory of sort would just be lying around on a stranger’s belongings. There're journals and a slightly damaged lute in the room, though. The most notable one would be the dragonfly in a jar which you already assumed is the one he calls Mr. Dragonfly. No clear memory surfaced. Only short flashes of you travelling and fighting beside several people whose names and faces are erased. One of them a khajiit like this one in front of you. “Uhm.. Who are you?”

“You don’t remember? Ah, that is my fault also.” His voice breaks, “I am your so called friend Inigo. I was the one who tried to kill you—I tried anyway!” he quickly adds before you can say anything else. “I am guilty! Kill me!” the poor thing pleads with desperation. He must have regretted the murder deeply. Oh wait, you’re still alive.

Leaning your back on the bars, you choose to find out first what actually happened before you decide whether to grant his wish or not. “You didn’t do a very good job did you? Why are you here?” This guy, Inigo, was quick to out himself upon being questioned. “After I shot you I finally realized my mistake and tried to turn myself in. Your body was gone. The guards did not believe me. They said I was wasting their time. I had to pay them to put me in this cell.”

Now that note about the crazy Khajiit sounded reasonable from a guard’s viewpoint. Everyone’s paying to get out and Inigo pays to stay imprisoned.

“It is where I belong. I needed to repent. I  _ need _ to repent.” The trembling in his voice is not made up. He is sentencing himself to death. One thing came into mind that could put things straight. In your stained note it says someone betrayed you,  _ ‘I can ask him if he wrote that as well. _ ’ So you reach for your pouch only to find out you don’t have it anymore.  _ ‘Damn it. Did I left it at the inn!?’ _ But there’s no turning back now. Getting the story out of him is your best bet.

“Wait. So... If you thought I was dead, then why are you here waiting for me?”

Inigo’s ears twitches, eyes were sparked with life all of a sudden. “I heard tales of a remarkable adventurer, both brave  _ and _ resourceful, matching your description!”

That can’t be good.

“What kind of tales _ ? _ ”

“A Thalmor outpost not far off Ivarstead was destroyed days ago. Then just yesterday, guards were talking about the raid in some fort and how a unique fighter contributed a lot in the success of the battle.” Inigo tells you but you remained silent. This will have to be discussed with Kaidan later. For now, you’ll hear out what Inigo has to say.

“I knew it was you. It had to be! I knew you were coming for me so I waited. Are you going to kill me or not?” The khajiit straightened his posture, but you could clearly see through the distraught in his eyes.

Putting aside your troubled thoughts, you refuse him. “Kill you for what? I don’t remember what happened.” You chuckled dryly. The fellow slouches down with a defeated sigh. “I see now that I must relive it again. Your memory is not what it was. We met on a job.”

Kaidan clenches his teeth, unable to reveal himself from his hiding spot yet. The letter looked like a setup to him so he had her go through the main entrance and act as bait. Of course she did not know this was what he had in mind. And if he gets his hand on whoever is luring her in, she will never have to. Passing through the docks and entering the only known hidden passageway to the prison, Kaidan hoped he would catch the sender. But as it turns out, it really was just a meeting. What has him agitated is hearing that there’re news of them already spreading around  _ and  _ this khajiit has it instantly pieced together. Maybe he’s working with the Thalmor to root them out? _ ‘Tsk. I need evidence before jumping in.’ _ And so the swordsman kept eavesdropping from the floor below.

Inigo laid out every detail regarding the job they took. They were hired mercenaries by some lord, sent to get rid of his siblings so the lord may inherit all of their parents’ wealth. The khajiit was tempted when this foul lord told him that should one of them die in the mission, the other will get his companion’s reward as well. Admitting that he was hooked on Skooma and had a debt problem, he gave in and tried to kill his companion. Kaidan stood clueless as to why his companion keeps entertaining this person. But he trusts her judgement so far, so he’ll stay his sword.

“We only knew each other for a short time but I had grown to like and respect you. We got on well and fought bravely side by side.” Inigo spoke with admiration then regret. “..I threw all that away for gold and skooma.”

The swordsman shakes his head upon hearing that the deal backfired. The lord was killed by his own sister before that Inigo fellow could claim the prize. ‘ _ Such is the tragedy of people succumbing to greed. _ ’ He snorts. The khajiit asks for his death another time, insisting that he wishes to perish with his senses intact. Good. He'll enter the afterlife with honor at least. Kaidan waited for the woman to make the move. If it was him, a swift death will be merciful and if the khajiit turns out to be an enemy, then he'll make sure the cat regrets it.

“No.”

_ ‘What the bloody hell is wrong with this woman. Just be done with him already!’  _ Kaidan fumes. He won’t take chances, especially with word about them spreading like wildfire. And with the loss of their horse, their ability of covering great distances are badly reduced to a minimum.

“You’re no good to me dead in this cell.” You tell Inigo. Even after hearing what he did to you, you didn’t find any ounce of hatred or anger for him in your heart. You’re not even sure you recall anything from this ‘Dupan’ job. But he just seems so familiar and you sense the truthfulness in his voice. Despite what he did, you know there’s still a lot of good left in him. Large portions of your memory is missing and broken, and until you piece them all back together, your instincts will take the lead and you will just deal with whatever happens next. Also, if he is as capable as he looks then you just found an ally to help you with future dangers. “Come with me. Fight by my side.”

“I... fight with you?” The blue khajiit slowly rose up from his chair with hope dawning in those golden eyes.

You nod your head, taking a few steps towards him. “Yes, Inigo. Pay your debt with the blood of my foes.” It's a bit dramatic but you boldly tell him anyway. The thought of the Dominion coming for your head soon doesn't bring much to be enthusiastic about, though.

“Or die defending you... Yes! I accept!” His eyes glimmered with optimism, raising his fists in excitement. “I feel lighter in my heart now that you have given me this opportunity! It will be like old times.” It’s hard to deny him a toothy smile when Inigo’s energy is this infectious.

Groaning in frustration, Kaidan sneaks back to the tunnel he came from. It is a lot easier to move silently without his armor—that he won’t ever deny, though he’ll always prefer a skin of steel. Slipping in and out of hidden passages like this is nothing especially when the guards are letting foul plays happen right under their noses. There’s an old ruined wall in the unused prison cell barricaded with only by a few planks. The other side of it leads to a sewer so none of the people here give a damn in keeping this area tightly sealed or secured.  _ ‘They would if they only knew where the sewers led, though. _ ’ Getting his footwear drenched bothered him very little. The swordsman’s main concern is his companion and her new ‘friend’. What the hell is she on? Did she expect to just bring him a stranger and he’ll whole heartedly welcome this odd looking khajiit to join their travels? The last thing they want is someone attracting more attention than the two of them combined. Aside from that, he could possibly be a Thalmor spy just waiting for a chance to slit their throats in exchange of gold. In any case, he’ll have to think of a way to talk some sense into her.

* * *

“Are you sure you’ll be alright if I just go for a minute or two?”

“I will be, my friend. I like it here! Don’t worry; I will not wake anyone up.” Inigo whispers at the end.

Parting with silly grins on both faces, you left your unique and goofy companion to enjoy himself a bottle of mead. Fetching Kaidan shouldn’t be a problem. He’ll be thrilled to know you’ve actually found someone that helps unveil your past even if just a tiny portion of it. Also gaining another able bodied person to help in future complications should reverse his persistent frowning. Finally reaching the room, you come face to face with the swordsman before your hand could even touch that knob. He’d stripped off his armor and also switched pants. Here you thought he’d never think of taking a bath.

“Oh. Good! You’re here. You won’t believe what I—”

“Can we talk first?” He peeks out of the room, in search of something or whatever.

“Yeah, we’ll talk! I’ve been meaning to tell you about-..  _ woah! _ Watch it!” To your surprise, Kaidan pulls you inside, not waiting for your compliance, “Just get in here for a sec.” He says and locks the door once you’re in.

Rubbing your arm, you turn to the man who’s now got his brows knit together in a—you’d never guess what it is—that’s right, a scowl.  _ Surprise, surprise _ . Maybe those Thalmors did rub off on him in some aspects, but don’t let him catch you say that out loud. “Kaidan, is everything alright?” Is this face a default? You surely hope it is not. His best features come out when his face isn’t all contorted and murderous like that. He exhales through his nose and walks forward. You reflexively back away from the menacing aura he’s giving off but he grabs your wrist.

“What do you think you’re doing, taking that khajiit with you here?” He growls.

“How did you..? Wait. You followed me, didn’t you?” Somehow, the thought pokes a tiny hole inside your chest which now stings. Did he just use you as bait? Whatever happened to his trust? How about the little talk you had hours ago, were those lies to get you going as well? “You didn’t trust me?” your voice shakes a little and he seems to take notice.

His expression softens, loosening the grip on your hand but still maintained a grim tone. “I trust you. I don’t trust  _ this _ city or  _ anyone _ living in it. You’ve seen the guards. One word and they’ll sell us out to the Dominion. Even if everyone here hates the Thalmor, if it puts coin in their pockets, they won’t hesitate.”

“He’s not. I recognize his presence. You know we can trust my intuition.”

“That doesn’t mean we should be taking our chances like this—” Kaidan stops, seeing you place a gentle hand on his. You look at him with reassurance, knowing those sharp crimson eyes only mean to bring protection.

“It’s alright, Kai.. I’ve got your back. They won’t take us.”

The swordsman eases, letting go of your wrist and you cup his hand, lightly brushing your thumb on his calloused skin. He lifts his gaze but instead of hostility, it’s only worry pooling in his eyes now. Worry for you. Kaidan returns your comforting gestures by holding your hand. “And when they find us?”

“We’ll be ready. Live and learn, right?” You smile softly. Kaidan bows his head as he cracks a subtle grin. “I’ll still keep a close watch on this new friend of yours. You know that right?” He tried to sound stern but his chuckles get in the way. You unlock the door, leading your worrywart of a companion to meet a new friend. “You do what you want. He’ll be your new friend, too.” You send him a playful glance as the two of you reach the stairs.

Kaidan knew there was something about this woman holding his hand the moment he met her. It’s not her fighting capabilities and certainly not her magic. Her wit and attitude is something he liked but what was it that captured him the most? Ah, of course. It’s the spark of hope in her eyes whenever his are troubled. It’s her unexpected yet welcomed kindness taking action when he’s riddled with anxiety. In the past few days they’ve travelled together, he felt more comfort within the light of her presence than he’d experience in a while. Though the concern about the Thalmor is still far from leaving them in peace, he is glad she was the one he decided to accompany. She’s like a candle, shedding light to his thoughts and fending off the darkness enveloping him. She’ll be doing great things. That’s for sure.

Upon arriving downstairs, the blue fellow greets the two of them with a smile. She calls his name and Inigo meets them halfway, nodding his head as he happily introduces himself to Kaidan.

“Greetings. My name is Inigo. Pleased to meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan isn't grumpy, he's just highly protective when necessary.. And tbf, it hasn't even been a week since he escaped the prison. I don't think he'll be very trusting immediately. QwQ but he'll warm up eventually, I know it!


	15. Limited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day you found your friend is also the day they found you. What happens to your first day together? Absolutely nothing but find limitations.

**014**

**Limited**

“You don’t remember your name? What do you mean?” Inigo twitches his ears whenever he’s surprised. It’s quite adorable. You giggle at the face he’s making but to be fair, your tale’s pretty confusing. Even dawn has already arrived.

“I was hoping you would know but ah, well. As I said, the mage in charge of me used his vile spell to lock away my memories. When he was unlocking it, I tore a hole in his chest.”

“Yes, but why??”

You swill your drink before bringing the tankard to your lips. Inigo watches on as you take a lengthy sip. “I don’t know, friend. I only remember what I felt when he was giving them back.” The alcohol keeps reminding you that you still haven’t slept properly. “It was like being in the middle of the ocean and a large wave is but seconds away from swallowing me alive. I was frightened... Really frightened.”

“And this ‘ocean’... The ocean is the wizard’s magic? You were overwhelmed by the ritual?” he prods on.

“No...They were memories.” You look at your blue friend sitting beside you. His eyes are brimming with intrigue. “Something inside those memories scared me down to the core.” You said, biting down on your nail. “It’s pretty disturbing to be affected by things you can’t even properly remember.”

“No, my friend. It is hard to explain maybe, but it is not a crime to feel things. I believe it will come back to you.” Inigo places an affirming hand on your shoulder. “I’ll have your back even after that.”

“What if I didn’t like what I find?”

“That’s impossible! You are one of the most amazing people I ever met. I am sure of that!”

The two of you bursts into cheerful laughter, causing Talen-Jei to warn you about keeping it down as most of the inn’s still asleep. Inigo mumbles an apology and goes back eating the sweetroll you gave him as a treat. “My friend, while I enjoy catching up with you, I am feeling a little uneasy with your companion over there.” He whispers, looking over his shoulder. Kaidan is drinking alone in a corner watching the two of you like a hawk. “Uhm... Kaidan isn’t ready to socialize yet. But he’ll come around.” You mutter, studying the man as well.

When Inigo introduced himself earlier, he just glared at him and didn’t even bother to tell your blue friend his name as he dismissed him, going straight to the argonian to fix himself some Black Briar. Ever since then, he refused to be accompanied or join the conversation. He hasn’t moved from his seat for the past hour but his eyes are permanently fixed on your table.

“I understand that his state of mind may still be suffering from being tortured by those bigots. But why is he glaring at me like that?”

“He’s just suspicious... Well, upon hearing your story, I think. He’d sworn to protect me and... You did say you tried to kill me.”

Inigo gasps and stands up. “What? Judging people based on their pasts! That’s really unfair.” He exclaims crossed-armed and stomps towards Kaidan. _ Shit _. Maybe try to think of a cover up for your swordsman next time instead of letting the truth out just like that.

His grip on the bottle tightens as the khajiit closes the distance. Very well then. It’s been a while since he brawled, ‘bout time he sees if he’s still in shape.

“So,” The blue fellow approaches him, “you also owe her a debt, yes? Well, so do I!” He points a thumb on his puffed chest. “I don’t know what your problem is, but I assure you we are on the same side here.” He frowns down at the swordsman.

Kaidan rises from his seat, taking the khajiit up to a challenge. “Are we? Cuz it’s bloody convenient for you to identify her just from hearsay, eh?”

“She is the person I remember! I would recognize her smell from anywhere.” the cat turns back to their lady friend, “My friend, something is wrong with this brooding companion of yours. I think he is too paranoid.”

“Kaidan, calm down! Inigo can be trusted.” You told him off, gesturing at Talen-Jei that you’ll handle it.

“So he just walks into your life, confesses that he tried to kill you, apologizes, and you welcome him right back without being the least bit skeptic about his motives?” Kaidan fires back at the woman. “He tried to kill you. Kill you _ for money _ of all reasons. He’s just like any other cutthroat.”

“Hey! That was a mistake I deeply regret! I plan to make it up to my friend now that she’s given me the chance.” Inigo’s ears turn back a bit and his tail starts flicking more.

Kaidan picks up, showing his own agitation with clenched fists and gnashing of teeth as he spoke, “How then? Another arrow aimed at her skull when the Thalmor flashes you a bag full of gold?”

“Thal-.. You are insane! I would never—”

_ “Alright, cut it out!” _

The building argument ceased upon hearing the tavern door slam open followed by a woman’s voice. Two individuals wearing matching leather armors walk in. Its materials are closely similar and the patterns resemble each other, like a uniform. If they’re not guards, then that means they’re...

“_ Vex! _ What are you doing here?” Inigo’s eyes shot wide open in surprise. The woman flicks back locks of yellow hair behind her shoulder. “It’s nice to see some action so early in the morning but we’re here to settle a score.” Her very voice was infused with impatience as it echoed throughout the empty bar. “Please, what is this about? We already paid for this month.” Talen-Jei cautiously approaches only to be blocked by the man accompanying Vex. “Shh. Worry not, friend. We’re only here for business. Like professionals.” The old man tells the argonian and Talen-Jei slowly backs off with weary eyes. “Just take your brawls outside. If you scare away the customers, it’ll affect both our businesses.” He warns and the two strangers shrug in compliance.

“See.” Kaidan scoffs at you. “He’s even a member of the Thieves’ Guild.” He mutters, crossing his arms.

“That cat? No way am I waking up this early just to talk to some stinky khajiit.” Vex sent a disdainful scowl at Kaidan and Inigo steps back as she walks past them, stopping in front of you. “We’re here because we heard you’re back.” She cups your chin and tilts your face side to side. “Enjoyed the vacation?”

“Hey, get away from her!” Kaidan protests but Inigo holds him back. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Vex and Delvin said they’re only here for business.” He assures the swordsman, receiving nothing but a gruff response as he shoves him off. “Aye. You should listen to the cat, young man.” The old thief, Delvin, approaches them. Kaidan glares at them, analyzing the situation with caution. “The hell do you want with her?”

Vex lets go of your face and drags you to stand in between her and Delvin, facing the door. “I want her out of my sight if you ask me. It’s Brynjolf who wants to see her.” She scoffs, “New clothes huh? And you fished out a new lover, I see. Think we won’t find out when you strutted in our territory?” Vex riles you up. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You frantically exchange looks with these two new intimidating faces.

“Now, don’t take it out on her Vex. I know you’re still bitter about her job at Goldenglow but it did us all good in the end, yeah?” Delvin teases. “You shut it Delvin or you’ll be eating your own boot. He should be here any minute now.” She snaps at him which he responds with a laugh. “Don’t blame him if he’s runnin’ late. Lot of deals going awry these days, it’s a miracle Maven hasn’t cut ties with us yet.”

The two thieves continued to bicker on for about half a minute before another one opens the front door. A red head man, looking around his late 30’s or older appears, wearing the same uniform as Vex and Delvin. He studies the people in the room as he walks in and you see the fullness of his green eyes when he examines you with astonishment.

“So you’re actually alive, lass.” The man spoke with relief. “You disappeared without a trace weeks ago after your success at Goldenglow. What happened?”

By now you should be celebrating, seeing as you don’t have to go through the trouble of tracking down the Thieves Guild when they’re handing themselves to you on a silver platter. But to think that you’re actually a _ member _ takes things to another twist. You gulp down a lump that wasn’t there before and clear your throat.

“Sorry.. I-.. Do I know any of you?”

“This is a damn waste of time Brynjolf. I’ve better things to attend to.” Vex moans in frustration. Brynjolf gestures for her to just wait some more, disgruntling the woman even further. Meanwhile, he sends your companions fleeting glances before asking who they are. “They’re with me. We’re traveling together.” “Together?” Lines form on his forehead, astounded by your answer. “Didn’t expect you to be a sociable type, lass. You just nod, disappear, and deliver ever since bringing yourself in The Ratway.”

“Wait. Let me get things straight.” Kaidan interrupts, “She’s _ part _ of the Thieves Guild?” he asks the man.

“Officially, aye. Thought you must have already known that, being her companions?”

Inigo cheers, “That is amazing my friend! So you were also the sneaky thing who slipped in and out of that heavily guarded place and robbed them blind? Incredible!”

“She is. Quite good isn’t she? But our business is just starting from there. First, we need to know what happened. I know affairs outside guild matters aren’t up for disclosure but we can’t have you disappearing for long like that. We’re short on talent and you’re one of the few people fit for the task Maven wants done.” Brynjolf sounds like he actually cares and not just because it’s about business.

“The Thalmor happened.” Even though Kaidan isn’t very approving of the situation, he allowed the discussion to go further. “She got imprisoned with me.”

The thief looks back at you and him. “This looks like a sensitive discussion. People are about to wake up.” He calls for the other two and signals on Inigo and you as well. “Come down with us to The Ragged Flagon.”

* * *

Carefully lifting your foot, you try not to step on puddles in broken cements as you make your way to the Flagon. “Well he isn’t wrong. The Ratway sounds fitting.” You murmured at your furry blue companion following Kaidan and Brynjolf who are taking the lead. Vex and Delvin lagged behind, guarding them in case some aggressive hobo decides to cross them. Even down here, the Thieves Guild doesn’t seem to have a nice reputation. The poorest of the poor, thrown and cast out by the world above to this smelly sewer city.

“A Thalmor spell eh? And she saved you? Well. That’s not beyond her.” You eavesdrop on their conversation. Not like they were trying to be quiet about it either way. Kaidan lays out the things you guys have pieced and matched so far. You are taking up some bounty hunting and happened to be after the same route and target as Kaidan when the Justiciars ambushed the area. Thinking you are in a team, they brought you in as well. He didn’t went into detail about what happened with you and Inigo but he states the two of you _ probably _met some time ago before you joined up the guild. Somehow, it made you feel lighter. Kaidan may not trust Inigo yet, but he respects your decision. You ought to prove him Inigo is here for good reasons.

Making a final turn, your group enters a door at the bottom of the stairs. At the other side resides a spacious area, with a beautiful pool taking the middle spot. _ ‘If reeking sewer waters are their definitions for a pool, sure, go ahead. I’m not judging.’ _ You internally laugh at the thought of people lounging in with drinks in their hands. The imaginative journey had to be cut short when Brynjolf calls the attention of the people sitting at the bar area. Guess they’re all guild members as well with the way they eyed you with recognition.

“Well I’ll be damned. She lived and had a wardrobe change.” A woman with almond dark skin approached first. _ Redguard? _ “What of the uniform I gave you? I’m not making materials here out of magic.” She ask, but Delvin at the back quickly takes the shot for you. “Probably destroyed. Look we’ll tell y’all. Just sit down and let the kid breathe.”

“This story better be true or you won’t get an ounce of share, kid.” Growls the only man who remained seated. His tone bordered to being sinister and you could already tell how pissed he is. Poking on Brynjolf’s back, he slightly tilts his head to you. “Uhm.. Is that...?” Your voice falters. The man emitted such an insidious feel. Even looking at his darkened expression makes you want to just cave in and hide. “Aye, lass.” The helpful thief responds, sending you a careful glance. “That’s Mercer Frey, our Guild Master if you haven’t recalled already.”

Already two hours or more had passed just discussing your current state of mind and what happened. When you and your companions entered the guild headquarters, _ and it’s actually much better than the Ragged Flagon _, they stationed around the guild master’s desk while the three of you sat near them. The group consisted of the officers, Delvin, Vex, and Brynjolf. The redguard woman earlier goes by Tonilia, the guild fence. Other members would chime in and have their own discussion about you at the back but was never an actual part of the forum. Mercer leaned on the desk, biting down on an apple and listened intently to your tale. Roughly around noon and they’re still bombarding you with question which you tried to answer to the best of your capabilities. Mercer then finally calls for a break to give you the chance to ask your set of questions. It’s a miracle that they let your two companions sit in the conversation. Of course they stayed silent for the most part, especially Inigo who just joined the party and would just clutch on your bag instead like a child on a trip. Kaidan only spoke to pitch in minor details on your journey together before arriving on Riften, but other than that, his guard is through the roof the whole time.

“Does anybody here know my name?”

For once in the whole straight hours of blabbering and debates, the circle actually fell silent. Even the members at the back seem to have lost their voices.

“Is this a trick? Didn’t the elves include it in these reports?” Tonilia untangles her legs and slams the Thalmor reports on the small table they dragged with them. The blonde thief rolls her eyes, “I’ve read each paper over and over again, Ton. Her name’s not there. So there you have it.” Vex’s dagger like stares feel like a constant reminder that you did something to upset her. “No one here knows because you’re too occupied to tell anyone.” Her lips curl into a sardonic smile. You can only give Kaidan a clueless tilt at what the snarky woman meant. Inigo seems to be enjoying himself with all the stuff he’s hearing, though.

“Guess what Vex mean is you’re a hard worker. Also from what I hear, you turn in tasks as fast as you pick them up. Delvin here was worried at first. He thought you were cheating in some ways but the results speak for themselves.” Mercer explained with that guttural voice of his. He wasn’t impressed at all but he didn’t sound disappointed either.

Speaking of Delvin, the old man’s been murmuring something at the women about you. “Heh. Y’know what I tell ‘em? I even started to fear you were one of ‘em bloodsuckers. Never saw you take your rest at night here. Nearly damn told Brynjolf to give your bed away ‘cuz you ain’t usin’ it at all.” Even the members spectating at the back chuckles. “So anyway, you never stopped by much for mingling either. You take job after job like you’re in a competition. Oh, we all liked that spirit. Completed your tasks almost twice as fast as the others, too. You even ran me out of jobs to give! I had to send you over to Vex. Isn’t that right?”

“Well, at first I was hesitant of course. My jobs aren’t as boring as the old man’s. So I gave you some jobs from my heist list.” Vex tells you, “But you are a relentless little rat. Just after a few weeks, you moved from sweeping tasks to high profile burglaries and shillings.” Inigo’s mouth is hanging wide enough for you to fit in another sweetroll. Looking over to your right, Kaidan gives you a smirk filled with silent awe. Is this really you?

Brynjolf scratches his beard, nose deep in the evidence you gave them. “That’s actually what made us notice. I know you’re gonna be great at this job when I laid my eyes on you. That’s why after receiving a call from Maven for that Goldenglow job, we knew you’d be able to achieve what Vex didn’t.” He says, earning an empty threat from the displeased imperial.

Receiving news of all these new information about achievements and skills you haven’t remembered yet feels weird. It’s like they’re describing a completely different person. “Uhm... Thanks. I guess? What happened after Goldenglow?” you ask.

“We don’t know. You vanished with all your things. Your share of gold by that time was pretty big so we thought you ran off. We had to send someone else do the following tasks Maven had for us. But since you’re here again, I hope you’re ready to make business, lass.” Brynjolf tells you and you turn to Kaidan who parries your inquiring eyes with his own ‘make-your-own-call’ look. The guild master had other plans, though.

“She can’t.” Mercer announces and everyone clamoured in confusion.

“Why not? She’s the best fit!”

“I know a legitimate Thalmor seal when I see one. Those damn elves are the last thing we want on our backs, especially with our standing in Skyrim.” Mercer shuts down the other members’ protests with one concise explanation. “Yeah, why not just sell her out then.” Vex smugly suggests. That’s a good joke. She’s joking right? Yeah, you should stick to that idea and avoid looking at her convincing face. “You think that’d be smart? We sell our clients, our contacts, _ our own _ to the Thalmor and it’s our loss. We don’t want to cross them either but there’s a way to put her talents into profit while keeping low. You, listen to me!” Guild master graces you with his attention and you freeze. Now you know your furry friend is nervous as well, but if he could only just stop swatting your feet with that tail of his...

“You’re not allowed to take high profile jobs from now on until you shake off the Thalmor on your trail. Until then, do some menial task. Your share will be smaller of course but at least you’ll still earn something.” He says and walks away. “And I assume having your identity be protected and covered for by the guild is more than what you deserve for the amount of time you were absent.” Mercer adds before completely departing.

Well, that’s an interesting discussion. “I guess quitting the guild will be more trouble than staying.” You look at your companions, both wearing approving looks. Look at the bright side; it’s nice to know you already have a job instead of being unemployed.

The others start to walk away as well, save for Brynjolf who approaches the three of you. “We’re glad to have you back, lass. Listen, it’s better for all of us to take Mercer’s advice. For now, just try and stick to old Delvin’s paper works. Don’t worry. That means you’ll have more free time for adventuring. But stay in touch.” He says and hands you more pointers as he walks your group out of the Ratway. The man is careful not to say anything unnecessary, though he mentions how he recruited you and something about your first arrival here in Riften looking twice more scornful than Dirge.

The way they describe you and reports noting on your behavior—it fits each other more than you’d like to admit.

* * *

“Leave her be.”

Inigo pauses, sliding back to his comfortable stool at the swordsman’s behest. “She needs our support right now.” He mutters, biting down on a salmon steak.

Kaidan scoffs softly, “We are supporting her by giving her a break.” His eyes gently follow the ale swirling in his mug. “She hasn’t slept properly since arriving here. Top that with all the things she had to take in after her confrontation with you and the guild.”

Lunch time had just ended when they were back up on the city again. Brynjolf proved to be surprisingly generous for a thief and paid Keerava for their stay until tomorrow. Their lady friend quickly requested solitude upon arriving at the Bee and Barb and locked herself in a room. With the two having nothing better to do at the moment, decided to stay in a room of their own and rest as well. Now it’s dark outside and the woman still hasn’t come out. This worries Inigo.

“It is almost time for supper. One of us should wake her up.” Inigo insists on the man beside him. “Or at least bring her food.” He grumbles chewing on a fish. Kaidan remained silent, still unwilling to talk to the blue cat. Mara forbids he drink in silence after what he had to go through from the past days. It’s like misfortune is stalking him even after his escape. “I know it is hard to trust me; I don’t trust myself most times, too. But I really care for our friend.” The khajiit stands up, carrying his share of stew to deliver it to their companion. “And if you’re just going to let her starve, I won’t.”

“Do what you want.”

Inigo’s ear perks up, turning back to the brooding swordsman. He takes a huge gulp, wiping his mouth afterwards, “But just try and harm her, I dare you. I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

The khajiit didn’t take offense but he told Kaidan with a straight face, “I respect how protective you are and I don’t hold it against you that you’re acting like that. But if ever our friend finds herself in harm’s way, I won’t hesitate either to take her place.” The blue fellow then disappears upstairs, leaving Kaidan to mull over his own thoughts on the situation.

Unless he was hallucinating about meeting the Thieves’ Guild earlier, their options are severely reduced but they can still make it if they play their cards right. He was thankful that they’re on the same side in talks of the Thalmor, but something’s just not right with that Mercer Frey. Brynjolf explained, however, that if the Thalmor takes control of the guild, they’ll be the one in charge and not Mercer. And Mercer doesn’t want the idea of losing authority. They can also have the guild destroyed in a snap and that’s one of the major reasons the thieves want nothing to do with the Dominion, be it as their client or enemy. Given his companion’s proficiency in this line of job, they’re too reluctant to just throw her away—_ a wise move, _ given that she’s one of the guild’s top money makers _ . _ But the cover up for his companion’s identity is to protect the guild rather than actually her. Means if the Thalmor issue on her becomes a larger threat, Mercer won’t hesitate to get rid of her before they trace anything back to the guild. These notes came from Brynjolf himself and Kaidan can see the man does want to avoid her death. The best he could suggest earlier was to stick on areas with high Stormcloak influence as they are known to show no mercy to Justiciars, spies, or anyone revealed to be working with the Aldmeri Dominion. In days their lady friend’s not given a task, they can refer to the notice board spread across the city and do some _ fetching _ to make coins for themselves. Bagging a little game wouldn’t hurt as well. Food stores could always use fresh meats without doing the hunting themselves. Again, Brynjolf made it clear that should they do this stuff that they only do so inside Stormcloak territories. It’ll take for a larger event in Skyrim to turn the Dominion’s eyes before they lay off the investigation on the prison.

Now regarding Inigo... “_ Tsk _ . Can’t just simply leave the city with him sticking with her all the time.” The troubled swordsman murmured to himself. Alright, maybe it was wrong of him to say that to Inigo early this morning. Maybe he’s really a person from her past. Maybe he really does mean well. Still, Kaidan can’t be blamed if he’s having trouble blindly trusting this khajiit. Time can only tell if he’s worthy of that or not and just like his companion told him earlier, they’ll be ready for whatever that comes. He’s not one to judge people based on their pasts, ‘ _ Gods know I did worse in my time,’ _ the swordsman takes a swig. _ ‘But the one he tried to kill was her! As if I’m just gonna pass that lightly in m’book.’ _The nerve of that fellow to accuse him of not caring for her! He does—quite a lot, in fact. He may not be as clingy and vocal about it but she knows he does care. Their companion can handle her own and is not a child to be constantly looked out for especially when she requires some time for herself. He shows his care for her by respecting her space. Guess that’s just one of the many things where he and Inigo differ from another.

* * *

Grains of dust polluted the air, forcing a cough out of your lungs; uncontrollably hacking and wheezing before you could muster up the strength to turn yourself aside. _ ‘Dark.. Dust.. No. What happened here? Everyone... Where’s everyone?!’ _ Frantic thoughts ran wildly as you regain balance. It’s too dark but you know the house is destroyed.

_ Find them. _

Climbing through the unsteady staircase took forever. Every movement is burdened with an invisible weight. Even running towards the door at full speed made it seem as if the floor is stretching endlessly; mocking your futile attempt to save them. You can’t. You weren’t here and now it’s too late. Someone’s watching.

_ They found you first. _

Door after door, the room didn’t change. Mirrors slowly replaced the walls and tiles every time you enter another one. But it’s the same hallway over and over again, repeating in a maddening loop. Each room, another mirror in this ominous dark. Each hallway a different reflection of you.

_ Keep running. _

Your feet kept moving, exploring the halls and never paying attention to the whispers inside the glass. All of them tried to reach out; all the hushed voices piling into a shrilling wail that chased you into the final door.

Nothing.

The mirrors are blanketed with nothing but shadows and its deathly silence. The only other person is standing at the end where a door is supposed to be and coming close reveals it to be a reflection of you. Staring at you with empty sockets, you tilt your head and it follows. Turning your face aside a few times still has it mimic your every movement. But this is not who you are. Slowly reaching to touch her cheek, blood started to drip out of its eyes, weeping louder and louder yet her face is twisting in a contorted smile. You swiftly put an end to the horrifying situation by stabbing your dagger through her head. Cracks branched out like lightning and everything shatters under your feet.

_ Face your demise. _

The stone cold floor catches your fall and the impact leaves your head pounding in pain. The living room. Your fingers touches something sticky on the ground and you catch a whiff of metallic scent upon inspection. _ ‘Blood. _..?’ Summoning a tiny light on your palm, a trail of blood smears the tiles and you follow the traces behind a ruined couch.

A woman robed in temple garments laid still in a dark puddle of murky red. She held a sword in hand but her other arm was filled with slashes, some too severe that you could already make out what the white thing in her gaping wound is. In fear of another illusion, you turn away before you hear her raspy voice. “...child.” she said and you drop down to your knees to attend to her. Conjuring up your best healing spell, the woman grabs a hold of your arm. “No...” her faded voice echoed throughout the place but you insisted on healing the dying woman. “Y..our... Ffh..--th ...-er..” she tearfully pleaded. Not understanding her words, you lean down and keep the flow of magic steady. “Y..r... –th..ther...”

A short gasp escapes your mouth once you realize what or _ who _ she is pertaining to. “My... Father?” The woman gives you a lifeless glare. Your pulse starts picking up pace the way it usually does when something’s amiss. Suddenly, her mouth began to expand in a monstrous way and from her demonic screams, _ blood erupted _, showering the lower half of your face with disgusting amounts of it until you couldn’t breathe anymore.

Your body collapses down on the wooden floor, catching sight of your hand casting the healing spell on yourself before you lost track of what’s happening and since when did Inigo arrived by your side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who keep hitting the next chapter until they reached here, thank you so much for sticking by. ;w;)/  
My family is going through some tough times right now and I can't really find any proper escape but work and this bubble world of a fiction I created. So thank you for the views. ;w;


	16. Snowy Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Inigo set out on a quest to fetch their poisoned friend a cure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to have a break. :) let's speed things up a bit. Just a bit don't worry!! Thank you for all those views and comments and kudos haha i honestly dont know why I keep getting those but I appreciate them so much QwQ

**015**

**Snowy Encounters**

Half an hour had passed after Inigo came back from their companion’s room, failing to draw her out and simply left the food by her doorstep instead. Kaidan stopped chewing on his dinner the moment he heard a loud thud on the floor above—specifically from his companion’s room. His eyes snap to where the cat is only to find him already running across the tavern. Kaidan didn’t let up; shoving other patrons out of the way just to get his hands on him. Both raced for the stairs with Kaidan eventually reaching Inigo and slamming him against the wall. The khajiit wailed bitterly as he tumbles face first on the floor.

“OW! What’s wrong with you!?”

The swordsman immediately grabbed the furry fellow by his throat, “I’m not asking a second time, what did you put in that stew!?” Kaidan’s vision is drenched in murderous fury—oh, how easily can he break this fool’s neck with just one twist.

“_ NOTHING! _ Look over there! She didn’t even touch it yet!” Inigo cries out, breaking free of the furious man’s grasp as they both inspect the untouched food. “Ugh. Something crashed inside.” Inigo coughs out, rubbing his neck in tender motions as he crawls up in front of his friend’s room. “Wait—She’s wheezing! I can hear her!” His ears twitched fretfully, trying to twist the door handle in vain.

Without a word, Kaidan kicks the wooden door open, causing Inigo to say something about breaking properties and payment. But the two of them could care less about charges when they saw the woman convulsing on the floorboards and literally choking on her own blood. Inigo proved to be faster, scampering to lift her twitching form in his arms. But Kaidan stood petrified, unable to find what caused this until he saw yellow flickers of light fade from her hand and then it dawned on him.

“Do you know what did this to her?! _ HEY!!” _Inigo’s panicked cries fell on deaf ears as the swordsman looked on with complete horror.

_ What did she do? _

* * *

“It’s a good thing you got here as soon as you did.” Maramal approaches two men waiting by the lobby.

Everyone they passed by mirrored the terror plastered in their faces as they rushed to Mara’s Temple. Kaidan hauled their companion over his shoulder, yelling at Inigo to alert the priests as soon as he gets there. The head priest, Maramal, was finally back as promised, and he was quick to attend to their companion, much to their thanks. Inigo couldn’t stand whatever it is he’s hearing while Maramal and some others cure her grave condition, and kept pacing around the room, murmuring things only the khajiit himself could clearly understand.

The swordsman was in the same spot, elbows on knees and face sinking in hands as a temporary escape from reality, though the distress is amplified by self criticism. He knew she needed to visit the Temple. How in oblivion was he able to _ forget _that!? What a bloody idiot! Kaidan fought the urge to throw himself on a wall and smash his head in until it etches into that brain of his how big of dimwit he’d been. He was so absorbed in his paranoia. Nevermind how much he loathes to admit it; Inigo was right. There’s really something wrong with him. He kept thinking that the biggest threat is just looming around in this city, desperately trying to guard her from possible dangers when their main concern should be and is right in front of them. Her condition is triggered by self casted restoration spells, as far as they’d witness anyway, and is not something a simple priest can just dispel or cure like a common disease. Some kind of other magic is at works here.

The raven haired man lifts his buried face upon Maramal’s arrival and the khajiit hops in within a second. The priest explained that through their skills and praying, they’ve expelled the harmful effects out of her body but the amount of poison in her bloodstream makes it difficult to declare her fully cured. Unless they can make a _ much stronger _potion, their best hope is to find a khajiit caravan on the roads of Skyrim and buy it from them. Maramal offered shelter to their lady friend until then and keep the poison from re-evolving but requested that they hurry as the temple also attends to other patients or couples looking to be married.

“Caravans... I heard a guard telling she bought something from there days ago just as when the khajiit merchants have departed.” Inigo informs the restless swordsman as they exit the building. Kaidan scratches the back of his neck, “If they’ve departed then that means it’ll be weeks before they make it back here. Damn.” Running a hand through his hair, an exasperated sigh escapes him. A gallon of poison cure from this city wouldn’t do if its solution isn’t strong enough. They need a stronger mix is what the priest said. If the khajiit merchants aren’t returning soon and if they can’t make one themselves, then they have to find someone who knows how or sells one. The two agreed the next day to find Brynjolf in the market stalls, seeing as he seemed to be resourceful and had shown genuine concern for their friend as well.

Time moved excruciatingly slow when a life is at stake but the moment the first stall opened up, the two didn’t take long to spot Brynjolf selling some ‘mysterious’ elixir in his booth, and immediately approached him for information. “I see. The caravans will take too long to return. I’m sorry lads. I don’t think even old Elgrim here sell stronger cures as well.” Brynjolf rubs the back of his neck, sending the two men who gave him the news an apologetic look. Hearing what happened came as a surprise to him as well but Kaidan told him that she’d simply caught an infection which they’d overlooked from their travels. The swordsman was aware Inigo knew he’s spouting out rubbish, though for some reason, he impressed Kaidan by actually holding his tongue during the exchange. But even then, had he told the truth, there’s still no way any of them can explain her unusual condition.

“A common poison medicine would do with the people of Riften as far as I’m concerned. That kind of stuff is most likely produced in harsher environments. Ah.” Brynjolf snaps his fingers, an idea flashes in the thief’s mind. “Closest one may be in Dawnstar. If you’re lucky, you might catch those merchants on the road as well or even a roaming alchemist themselves.” He tells them, advising them to take a carriage and also assuring them that they’ll keep an eye out for any possible Thalmor spies lurking about. Having confidence in the nord’s word, the two men set about on their journey, but not before making a final visit on their still unconscious companion.

* * *

It was the blurry specs of light slowly washing off the darkness you’ve fallen into that first caught your attention. _ ‘What in oblivion just happened?’ _ It wasn’t dark like night. More like... buried underground kind of dark. You recall figures, illusions, _ faces _ that make your skin crawl to no end. They were meaningless to you now though you knew they were _ your _memories to begin with. But until then, they’ll remain in dreams that relentlessly haunt your sleep. Warmth slowly crept from your chest that spread onto your limbs, letting you breathe with much more ease, and you allow yourself to sigh at the comforting feeling. It’s just like when the lady freed you of those chains. Wrapped in the safe embrace of her light. Little by little the numbness of your body fades and you feel the invisible weight disappear as the blinding light forces your eyes to squeeze open.

“Ah, thank the Divines. You’re awake at last.”

You screw your eyes shut in reflex, adjusting your vision and blinking in utter confusion at the woman currently hovering a healing spell over your torso. Letting your eyes have a look around, you immediately note that this is not inside the inn anymore. Based from the indoor design, amount of empty beds, and robes these people wear, it is safe to assume you’re in a temple. Although you must admit, this waking up to different places every time you close your eyes is starting to get in your nerves. While waist deep in thought of whether to learn a shock rune or not for _ “security” _ purposes or even bother sleeping at all, the healer finishes her work and excuses herself to have someone bring in some tea to better combat your ailment _ . _ What the bloody hell was that person talking about? “But I’m not sick. I just took a rest and then I-.. Is that blood on my coat? _ Again? _” Your mumbling came to a halt upon recognizing the dark leather sitting on your bedside. Lost and surprised, your mind races with queries of what could possibly be the reason why you’re wearing brown robes again and why does this temple apprentice sound so depressing as she rambles about the poison in your body while handing over your tea.

“Sorry. Where are my manners! My name is Jade. Or at least I go by that name. It’s not a secret in this town that I used to be part of the Thieves’ Guild.. Ah, but that was years ago!” She sighs then clears her throat, “I-I trailed off, geez. Forgive me. I brought that up because I knew I saw you before. You’re one of the guild’s new recruit aren’t you?” Wow. She knows just how to start a conversation. No, you absolutely do not mind people here rubbing it in your forgetful face that you’re a thief. Even the guards acknowledge you as an official one and even lets you operate right in front of them. Does that make your robberies legal? Wonder if the guards will arrest you if you’re thieving activities lack license.

“So uhm, what I meant is Mara’s love can and will suffice more than—”

“_ JADE. _”

You put a stop on the woman’s incoherent blabbering about leaving old ways and embracing Mara’s love. She really needs to work on that shaky voice if she is bent on being a priest. Needs some work on how she preaches as well but that’s her problem to mind. Shaking off these distractions, you focus on things that matter. “Where am I? Mara’s Temple in Riften?” The woman nods her head and reaches something bellow your mattress. “In fact, those two gentlemen who brought you in left your bag and weapon here before they departed not more than two days ago.”

All the stars in existence cannot deny standing witness as you choked on the news and spurt out a mouthful of green tea, like mammoths do with their snouts. “Oh! Oh my, are you alright?” Jade places the dagger on your bed and quickly fetches you a hand towel. In between coughing and wiping your face clean, you ask the woman through short breaths where the two of them went. ‘To find a cure that will exterminate the poison in your veins’ is what she said. _ Hah! _ Nice try sister. ‘No idea’ is what her face screamed. This is pointless. _ Two bloody days?! _ Feeling your patience border its limits, you leaped out of the bed with all your belongings, paying no mind to her request that you wait for them instead, and dashed out to equip your armor.

* * *

Bumping open the tavern door, Kaidan slowly raised his shoulders, taking in a deep breath and letting out a sigh overflowing with exhaustion and discontent. It’ll be their third night on the road.The first night was spent on Vernim Wood, just north of Shor’s Stone. On the second night they stopped by Kynesgrove. Tonight they’ll be staying in Nightgate Inn and will leave at first light. For all he knows, that’s already fast given they came all the way from Riften. Of course, one should not miss the fact that they’d spent a huge chunk of their remaining gold hiring a private carriage which basically means a faster service. But with his companion’s life in line, this is already taking too long for him. While Brynjolf wasn’t kidding when he said it’s easy to forget the existence of the Dominion in Stormcloak territories, he seemed to have forgotten about the damned Frost Trolls and Sabre Cats apparently partaking in the patrols on the northern roads. Though they appreciate the number of hunters and guards keeping the roads clean and safe, they need to take care of whatever’s causing these wild creatures to wander on the main paths. Obviously, the guards haven’t figured that out yet much less paid attention to as they’re all so invested in waiting to bathe their steel with Legionnaire or Thalmor blood.

“Okay. Okay. I get that she can read it. But I have just one more question. How come she can read it but not translate it?”

For the love of Nine, of course. _ Of course _. How can he ever forget that Inigo’s travelling with him when this chatterbox keeps buzzing with idle chitchats left and right? Kaidan didn’t had trouble convincing the blue khajiit to go with him when Inigo was the first one to voice out his determination to find that medicine, good weather or not, for his friend. This also worked for the swordsman as he didn’t want to leave his companion in the care of someone he didn’t fully trust yet. He didn’t trust the Thieves’ Guild either but her reputation in the guild makes her an asset which they can’t afford to lose along with their declining ‘business’. That’s another thing that’s got him in jitters and anxious on speeding up the journey as much as possible.

“That had us both puzzled as well. But I didn’t push her that night. This is my search to make. I can’t go around demanding other people to solve these cryptic elements for me.” Kaidan replied and Inigo gave him an assuring remark as they sat by the fire.

Over three days of sharing the back of a cart with no one else to interact with but each other, he had grown to tolerate the khajiit’s presence. At first, his idle chattering is annoying, it still is, but it is thanks to these nonstop commentaries that he discovered of the cat’s daily struggles of winning against his old habits. Kaidan, despite being the most skeptic on the khajiit, wasn’t able to deny Inigo’s sincerity as he talked about on their second day of journey the things that led him to skooma addiction, to the Dupan job, and how much he regretted trying to kill their companion.The swordsman was no stranger to regret and screw ups. And he knew all too well the eyes of someone tired from being haunted by their pasts.

_ Eyes of someone tired from battling with their demons. _

That night in Kynesgrove, he could barely sleep soundly. Inigo’s story had his late night thoughts swarmed with his own share of bad life decisions. ‘Bad’ would be an understatement but he didn’t wish to dwell more on his past. Though speaking of which, he contemplated the way he treated Inigo on their first meeting, and only then realized that he might have acted in such a way not because he was seeing the strange looking khajiit as a threat but because he was desperate to avoid attracting attention. Knowing the Dominion has planted spies almost everywhere didn’t help quell his slowly growing paranoia either. That and ever since the prison, he and the lady always shared in making decisions, so it wouldn’t harm anything but his ego to admit that he felt a bit betrayed when she invites Inigo without his knowledge. But things are different now that he finally snapped out of his clouded thinking. Will he trust him with her life, though? Not yet, but does he trust Inigo to honor his words? He does.

“When we get back, maybe we can all visit a library or find a book merchant. See if there’s anything useful out there that’ll give me a hint or two.” Kaidan tells Inigo.

The cat wasn’t nosy when it was Kaidan’s turn to share this morning, but he paid attention enough to stretch this conversation until evening. How does Inigo even do that? Kaidan could already feel his throat dry just by listening to him theorize different scenarios for his past, both serious and silly ones.The swordsman planned to keep his stories short but by Ysmir, the khajiit is a talkative one. He almost couldn’t get a word in once the blue cat opens his mouth and have delightful banters with the coachman regarding the travels Kaidan made across Tamriel.

She would have loved that. She wasn’t a talker like him but he knew she would enjoy it when people involved are as joyous as Inigo.

Going back to their current topic, Inigo happily lays out different tasks they can all do together once they get back, Thalmor-slaying being one of those and as much as he’d love to break some Aldmeri skulls, fishing the attention of the Dominion would bring them no benefits.

The two continued to banter on for the rest of the evening, with Inigo doing most of the talking as Kaidan enjoys his mead. He didn’t miss the way Inigo’s tone would hush down and drip with worry whenever he mentions anything concerning the state of their companion. The swordsman shares the same sentiment. It’s been days since they last saw her and even if he would never openly admit it like the blue khajiit, he does miss her, too. It’s not just because he’s indebted to her that keeps him from leaving. Was it because she didn’t abandon him when she could easily have? Perhaps. But he knew his attachment to her isn’t purely out of obligation.

The same goes with Inigo. He was on the verge of losing his mind and even accepted his death on that day but she didn’t take his life. She had him keep it for whatever reason he’s yet to find out. It mattered little to him. She had given him a chance to fight by her side again. Prove the honor he finally found. Now is that time. What kind of friend is he if he would rather just sit and feign concern while his friend could be gurgling out blood again? If the gods exist, he only hopes they can hear his prayers each night and morning. Part of him wishes to just stay by her side until the swordsman gets back, but another part of him wouldn’t let him stand idle knowing he can do something to rid her of that poison. It’s just another day until Dawnstar. His friend is strong and stubborn against death, as demonstrated by his arrow. Despite the gruesome state he’d found her three days ago, Inigo’s faith is unshaken. She’ll be there when they come back, he knows this.

“Excuse me? Have you two gentlemen got a moment?”

The two men stopped talking, or rather, Inigo stopped his monologue about his repugnance on trolls as he and Kaidan looks up at the woman who approached them. She was lightly geared, wore thick gray winter clothes, and had her pale blonde hair fixed in two thin braids. It was quite late for a traveler, let alone a woman, to wander the snowy plains of The Pale.

Reluctant to interact with others, the swordsman turns back to his meal sending a glance at the khajiit to take care of whatever inquiries she may have. “Can we help you…?” Inigo, being the one sitting closer to the woman took it upon himself to save Kaidan the trouble of speaking to another stranger; lest he accuses them of being another Thalmor spy.

“Yes. Yes, oh please do. My name is Vilja. I came all the way from Dawnstar _ on foot! _” The woman introduced herself, yammering quickly about the difficulties of travelling at nightfall without a horse and so on but what caught the red eyed man’s attention is the mention of their destination. “I was hoping to earn a bit more before travelling again but every business there seemed skeptic to let an outsider like me to work under them. Why, we people from Solstheim are just as much of a nord as they are!” She exclaims and Kaidan could only wonder since when did she and Inigo are seated so close like gossiping housewives. “Then this old lady said she’d let me work under her and might teach me some bit of training if I wanted, as long as I retrieve something her late husband failed to find.” Vilja gushes at Inigo who looked so invested in this conversation. “After putting those in my bag, she marked the cave here on my map but I don’t feel so sure delving in there alone. I was hoping you can come with me, you both look so capable.” The nord lady pleads the both of them, earning mixed reactions. “I know I sound desperate. And sure, working in an alchemy shop would be boring. You see, I came from a family of alchemists, but I don’t mind Frida’s offer so long as I can get paid. I just need to get that item and—”

“Hold on.” Kaidan interrupts them. “You’re an alchemist?” He asks, easily catching the way Inigo’s ears twitched in realization.

“The girls in my family are. I should be as well, though never seem to get the hang of it since I was always set on being a bard.” Vilja clasps her hands ready to take off to another rail of topics that has little to do with what she wants to point out. Inigo quickly notices Kaidan shaking his head in defeat and getting up. “Hey. Where are you going? Was it something she said?”

Kaidan didn’t respond in the same brash manner he displayed on their first days together. Instead he just finishes his drink and took the bread from his dinner, never once meeting their eyes before he started walking away. “You should get some rest soon. We’ll depart at first light, Inigo.”

“But wouldn’t we want to help her?”

“_ HELP HER? _ Are you mad?!” It’s a good thing most patrons have gone home or are asleep. Inigo and Vilja didn’t expect him to raise his voice so suddenly. “Our companion’s back in Riften sick and unaware we _ left _her. We’ve talked about this! You’ve seen what the poison does to her and she may be suffering from it again at this very moment and all you want to think about is helping some woman you just met?!” Kaidan ridicules them. “Here I was starting to think you might not be as bad as I initially thought. Was I wrong?”

Luckily, Inigo has a surprising amount of patience for this brutish paranoid who didn’t even paid attention to Vilja’s story. “Lower your voice big guy, before the owner kicks us out.” He presses a furry finger up his mouth and eases a nervous Vilja. “Now I hope you got that all out of your chest and make sure you listen this time. I don’t know what happened to your hearing capabilities earlier, but as Vilja mentioned, that old alchemist gave her a portion of her strongest antidote and cures to combat the wild creatures that could be residing inside the cave.”

Kaidan’s annoyed expression was immediately replaced with bafflement. “What?”

“You heard him. Frida gave these to me to bring aid in the task she gave.” The lady searches through her satchel, bringing out several tiny vials containing liquid which the swordsman recognizes to be exactly the same with all cures in apothecaries. Vilja’s not fooling around, these are all authentic. All three of them stared in joint silence at the items before Kaidan attempted to utter a word.

“Ah, ah. I suppose that’s enough. You do sound like this companion you speak of is very dear to you. Let’s make a deal.” Vilja quickly catches on first now that the negotiating table is open. “I need help in getting that ring. You need lady Frida’s strongest medicines for your companion. You know where this is going.” She shares a nod with Inigo. “Look, I want to help but I need help first. I won’t even need these if the two of you can keep me unharmed! Then I’ll gladly give these for free afterwards and we all go home accomplished. Please, mister.” The woman flashes him her best pleading face.

Even Inigo is confidently buying into this. “What do you say? If we do this fast, we can go home sooner.” He enthusiastically backs her up. Running up his hands down his face reveals the faded red tattoo on Kaidan’s righter side of his forehead stretching down just above his jawline… and a drained expression.

“Alright. Where’s this damn cave?”

* * *

Somewhere on the snowfields of the Pale, just before the break of dawn, a Nordic Ruin lied open, burial urns and chests looted and robbed. Bones of the undead scattered about from the ruin’s stone grounds to the white blanket outside, and upon further looking, one hapless elf finds his back on the snow, a hand and boot pinning down his arms. The only thing he can do is take a sharp breath and look into the striking blue eyes of the woman above him as she holds a dagger against his neck.

“I feel like we should get acquainted properly. What’s. Your. Name.” You growled, pressing the dagger just a little bit deeper until he winces and you feel him gulp down, pulse racing.

“Rumarin.” The high elf croaks out.

“I've gathered a bit of bounty just to get here, _ Rumarin _. That sword is pure ebony. Where did you get it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're lost and don't want to check in game, you can always refer here :) https://srmap.uesp.net/


	17. The Bladebinder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paths have crossed and now we will take a closer look what happened after you woke up from the Temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Rumarin from 3DNPCs mod. :) One of the most super popular followers out there and a personal favorite of many. Kudos, bookmark, subscribe, comment, give me tips? Sure! Squeal down the comment section and I'll share your joy! :D :D :D <3

**016**

**The Bladebinder**

Cold winds gust through the fields of white, giving any travellers of the Pale a fair warning of what awaits them should they continue without proper gear. For a professional adventurer like Rumarin, acquiring said gears is the natural thing to do; except he is short on money at the moment and have travelled across three cities only to find their notice boards emptied of fetching tasks. There are plenty of other quests put up by the government, but there’s no way in oblivion he’ll be taking on bandit camps by himself. So the high elf goes back to what he does best next to being insufferable—grave robbing.

Rumarin had his eyes set on a certain Nord Ruin when he arrived at Dawnstar’s port days ago. The target place conveniently leads to his friend’s home in Windhelm, too. Maybe he’ll crash at his place for the meantime and make some coin in Windhelm. Trudging the snowlands under the stars weren’t this blissful in his memory, though that might have something to do with his memories of braving the winter breezes after dark being all during snowstorms. In any other case, may it be heavy snow or not, the high elf followed through with his plans of scavenging the ruin. ‘Yorgrim’s Overlook’ is what the locals call it. And before someone even attempts to dissuade him, no, he has absolutely no idea of the place’s history nor is he interested in knowing about it. He just wants to put some coin in his empty purse while everyone and their cousins or dogs or whatever are still asleep. It was never too early to loot some graves; if anything, it’s actually the perfect time, if not for all the wolves littering around during the dark. But sure, he can afford to break a sweat if it means he’ll walk away with full pockets. Bears, trolls, wolves, hell—even Ice wraiths, bring it on; just not all at once. Rumarin was more than confident with his conjuration skills and is fully prepared to face one of these spiteful beasts. What he was not prepared for is to come across a much more horrifying creature in this unforgiving cold.

A woman.

A loud woman.

A loud woman running  _ towards  _ him.

_ Oh no _ . The high elf turns on his heel, ready to sprint until he understood what she’s saying in those pitiful cries.

“ _ WAIT, PLEASE SIR!  _ Oh, thank gods there’s an adventurer this early!”

The woman slows down a few feet away from him, her twin braids bouncing in sync as she gasps for air. She looks like a ginormous, breathing cotton ball hunched over like that, wrapped with winter garb from head to foot. Not to mention her loud panting only makes this huge cotton imagery in the altmer’s mind more frightening.

“Y-you’re an adventurer, right?” She warily meets his eyes and Rumarin, not wanting to be found out of his harmless ‘looting activities’, willingly plays along. “Yes... Of course. I’m just.. About to help some villagers actually. Heh. That’s right. I am, in fact, on the way back to the mill.” What other choice did he have? Also, the woman seemed to be very troubled. She’s got dirt all over those furs and she reeks of that foul smell usually present in burial chambers.

A bright smile blooms in her face, relief showering her expression.  _ ‘Now if it can only shower that scent as well...’ _ The frantic lady suddenly slides down something behind her back, revealing it to be a sword made of ebony materials. “I knew so. Please, I beg of you!” She says as panic starts to seep in her tone. “You have to help me. I asked two people to help me retrieve something in that cave but I was the only one who got out unharmed from there.” Her shaky finger points somewhere from where she emerged. “The ones who helped me are still trapped inside. I don’t know how fast I can call for help but  _ you _ can do something to assist them in the meantime. Here!” She shoves the weapon to his chest and the baffled elf is lagging behind trying to process where this conversation is going. “Inigo told me to protect myself with it on my way back but I know you’ll make better use of it. I promise I’ll give you all my savings, just please help us out, brave adventurer!” the woman cries out.

“I...”

“Oh thank you! Thank you a million times! I promise to come back as soon as possible!”

And just like that, the headstrong stranger disappears out of sight within seconds. It took about a full minute of gawking at the sword before Rumarin fully comprehends what the woman wanted him to do. Treading carefully the high elf finally reaches the cave that hasty woman wants him to look in to. “So her allies are in there? Huh. She must be twice as daft as I am to think they’d survive inside that crypt. Locals call it “Forsaken Cave” for obvious reasons.” He mutters to himself. That place is probably crawling with Draugrs and their eternal groaning. Grave robbing is only convenient when you’re just looting urns  _ outside _ . Stepping into the actual crypt in small numbers is suicide. Even if those two people are still alive, who’s to say Rumarin will come to their aid? The high elf wipes the dirt off the sword’s hilt with his robes and smirks instead. “And who’s going to stop me if I don’t?” Chuckling, the altmer walks away, grinning proudly as he carried with him an item worth over five hundred septims.

Today is his lucky day.

* * *

Taking things back a bit after you stormed out of the temple, your feet immediately brought you to your recruiter’s elixir booth.

“You surprise me, lass. I was about to send someone over and bring you this extra pie I got.”

“Thanks Brynjolf. But did you perhaps caught wind on my friends’ whereabouts?”

The nord thief could only stand in confusion as you marched over his stall in the middle of the day and immediately fired a question you should know the answer to. Brynjolf places down the pie he’d carefully wrapped up and scratches the side of his cheek. “While I’m glad you’re walking again, I’m afraid I don’t know.” He puffs out, “Although I pointed them out to Dawnstar for the cure, I can’t guarantee they followed through it all the way.” the man combs back auburn locks invading his face.

“Dawnstar?” You cross your arms. “That’s way up North!”

“Aye, lass. Sorry. Other than that, got no idea where else.”

Muttering a simple thanks to Brynjolf, you snag the apple pie and went to the city gates.

It didn’t take an hour before one of their fellow thieves paid him a visit.

“Sapphire.”

Brynjolf acknowledges the dark haired woman’s presence, not once taking his eyes off the bottles he’s wiping clean at the moment.

“Thought you’d like to hear while things at the stables are still hot with the disappearance of a horse.” Sapphire remarks, and the man catches her drift in a heartbeat.

“Figures. Didn’t expect her to set off so soon, though. But she’s always been fast and unrelenting since her first day.” He tells her. “Is that so? You better keep her in check, then. I like her spunk but that don’t mean Mercer favors this ‘unrelenting’ attitude of hers.” Sapphire successfully earns Brynjolf’s full attention this time and made sure to hold down his gaze. “Mercer appreciates an over achiever but not a challenger. Don’t let her die.” With a half smug grin on her face, the woman departs, leaving Brynjolf with something to think about.

* * *

_ Huff _

The skies have turned purple and the shadows have towered over the roads now. It’s a good thing you’re lightly packed or you would’ve fallen off the stolen horse once those wolves replaced the guards previously pursuing you. Taking a slight detour to the woods, you easily silence them with ice spikes, granting you and the steed a short break. It’s amazing how long these creatures could run. It’s been  _ hours _ since you lost the guards and the horse hasn’t even slowed down. Though you suppose it was exhausted galloping your arse away from Riften with the way it empties the pond of its waters. Soon enough, you re-emerged on the main roads near the city of Vernim Wood. A city is a good sign. It says you’re out of the Rift now. Your bounty for horse stealing won’t carry out here and you’re still on time to gather supplies. It means a new inn, a new bed, a new place to relax to.

It means a new stable.

_ Huff _

_ _

Winds are getting more and more freezing here. You see the soils of Eastmarch starting to turn white under the moonlit path as you ride further north. An arrow flies past your right, though you suppose that one’s aimed for you.  _ “Hyah!” _ Your new and, without a doubt, illegally acquired steed picks up speed as you make a turn up ahead to the forestry, hoping that the mist will take their vision off you. The thick fog proved to be enough cover. Thankfully, no wild creatures or hairy spiders seem to be lurking around these parts. After some time of travelling on foot, the horse’s uneasiness becomes increasingly more apparent for some odd reason as you walk through the slopes, forcing you to go back to the roads in order to not lose your ride.

“Are you serious? What if they see us soon?” You bitterly whined at the horse who didn’t say a thing. Taking a quick review of your locations on the crumpled map you swiped back in Vernim Wood, you marked down the city of Windhelm as your next stop. “Good. We’ll stop shortly at Kynesgrove but we can’t stay there. I’ve got a bounty now here in Eastmarch so I gotta keep moving, understood?”

The horse nickers in response.

Good. At least it knows what you’re talking about. Since when did you start talking to animals anyway? Oh well, that’s better than torturing yourself nonstop over your missing companions. You’ve been riding for almost half a full day, braving dangerous shortcuts and whatnot, risking little breaks outside civilizations due to the bounty you’d slowly built up from stealing horses…  _ pfft. Stealing horses _ . You’re a horse trader not a horse thief. You  _ borrow _ a horse and exchange it  _ secretly  _ for another one in the next town. They’ll get their horses back alive and well. Eventually. Ah, yes, the joy of adventuring. All this trouble and you still can’t find a trace of those two jerks.

Just when you think you’re getting about to start on something good and productive, those two buffoons suddenly sets out without you. You understand it’s because you were currently recovering from an…  _ ‘episode’ _ ? “Hmm. Pretty sure Kaidan straight up lied to the priests ‘coz both of us don’t have an explanation for whatever happened to me before the bandit raid.” You explained to the steed. “My point is, they could have sealed me in a cart so they can take me with them, at least...” you pause, “Wow I sound like an obsessive and desperate loser.” Sighing away those words, you change the topic before your mind uncontrollably hops into a rabbit hole of depressing thoughts. “Tell you what, I’ll trade you off in the next city so don’t worry. You’ll be safe.” You reach down and brush its hair and all of a sudden, the steed grunts as if in pain or distress. At first you thought it was something you did but hearing distant snarls puts you on immediate alert as well. Clicking your tongue, the steed dashes away, and whatever it is chases after you, their noises turning to monstrous growling that echoed through the dark. Keeping the horse at a steady pace, you look back and frustration rises, only being able to see figures on your trail. It was still in the dead of the night and everything’s covered in cloudy mist. For sure, these guards wouldn’t know how to release such a horrendous noise from their very human throats and neither would bandits, right? The steed is visibly terrified as well; something behind you is out for blood on reasons you can’t even tell. Further into the mist, you swallowed hard, expecting to get thrown or blasted off any second now and as you push on, something shiny flashes in front of you. Evading on instinct, the shiny thing zooms inches away from you and pierces something else at the back.

_ fwip! _

_ _

_ _ Was that silver? Another projectile shoots at your direction, the thick fog masking its source while it makes thin whooshing sounds. Another two flies past you, then three, then you hear the snarling creature whine and cease its guttural noises.  _ ‘Wait! They’re not aiming at me!’  _ Speeding up ahead, you trust the steed to take you where it’s not threatened, galloping for dear life until the fog starts thinning out. Finally, you get a glimpse of the people shooting those silver bolts.

“MOVE IT QUICKLY, TRAVELER!”

A hulking orc yells at you and you heed his call, not even slowing down to take a look behind what the ruckus was all about. All you knew was they wore a special looking uniform and were all armed to the teeth with silver.

After you made it to Kynesgrove, the creepy scenario still hadn’t left your mind and you decided to actually stay the night until you saw several soldiers running to your direction. You swiftly hid behind the building, getting lucky enough to overhear some of the guards’ remarks.

_ “Where are these damn vampires coming from?” _

_ “It’s a good thing those vampire hunters are around.” _

_ _

Nothing in that moment has made your hair rise more than learning of the creatures pursuing you about an hour ago. Suddenly becoming nervous of your surroundings, you decided to keep pressing forward; unable to feel safe with the settlement’s lack of walls. “I know we’re both tired, bud. Just a bit more. Remember my promise?” You ease the horse and it seemed to have worked. “Kynareth guide my path.” Trembling lips whispered a prayer in the cold wind, not even remembering which divine that name belongs to.

* * *

Regret flooded your thoughts each time your boots sunk in the snow. ‘Should’ve stolen a thicker coat’ is the phrase that kept repeating in your dry mouth. After trading the horse for several coins and a special free mug of tea to fight the cold, you dropped the plan of borrowing the nice elf’s horse and decided to take his advice to stop by the wood mill for a rest. With fortune on your side, you found an abandoned tent not far from the mill and a usable campfire. You rested those tired limbs of yours for about an hour, working on a new plan now that you’ve given away your only mode of transportation.

“I’ll come up with something.” You muttered, repeatedly rubbing your linen wrapped hands together before bringing it up to your face. “I’ve been saying that shitty line for hours! Argh!” you cried out in absolute vexation, instantly covering your mouth upon noticing the sun still hasn’t risen yet. Journeying from the Rift to the Pale in less than a day? That’s a damn good record not worth risking your life for. Crossing that distance without a full preparation or even backup plans, you scoff at your own idiocy. But if you die here, Inigo and Kaidan would have travelled for nothing. No, you must continue. Just follow the roads.  _ Follow the roads _ . You haven’t even slept yet and you’re still just beginning to get accustomed to stretching your stamina like this. Well it’s a bummer but with all the luck you had all day, it ain’t surprising that it’s finally drained. You wearily trudge on, keeping to the roads and making the most of what’s left of your water with only a tiny ball of light from your palms to guide your path. Up until a few minutes of walking hopelessly, was it only then you saw something moved from afar. To oblivion with this mist.  _ Bah.  _ That’s probably your eyes playing tricks on you. Or is that...? You lower your stance and dismissed the light, carefully closing in to the moving figure you spotted. Thank the gods for the clear sky and bright moon tonight; it was that of a woman running away— _ and she’s pretty loud _ . You wait for the person to disappear into the winter fog before you deemed it safe to investigate what she was running from or where she’s running to.

“Please don’t be a vampire.. Please don’t be a vampire...” You stepped as light as you can, though the snow makes it hard not to leave footprints. The main plan was to just peek whether she’s got company or not and try to tiptoe around unseen, but by spotting another pair of fresh boot prints facing the other direction, your eyes willfully follows until you slowly bring yourself in front of a cave. The marks didn’t seem to lead inside the dark tunnel. Instead it led further up the side of the hill, where you could trace out a silhouette of a ruin. Approaching halfway, you caught wind of a battle occurring not so far as you heard enraged yelling. Without a second thought, you turned around to get away until you realize the yelling person is getting louder and nearer. You spin in an instant and back away, evading the robed man in time as he runs past you. For a moment, you thought you’ve been overlooked and heaved a sigh of relief.

“Hey! Are you just gonna stand there?! Help me!”

Jumping back from the sudden call, you only realized he wasn’t running away but putting distance with his enemy—two moving skeletons.  _ ‘Am I dreaming? What in bloody Nirn is this?’ _ You confusedly tilt your head at the approaching bone as it raises the war axe on its hand and prepares to strike you. Reacting quickly, the blade hits the stone instead as you yelped and tumbled over the robed man’s direction. Hand on your dagger, your attention got easily fished by the bright purple light growing in his hands.  _ He’s using magic. _ Whatever spell he’s casting is making a loud thunderous noise and honestly taking too much time, so you took your chances and threw a fireball, tossing one a few feet back. Turning back your attention back to him, your eyes widened with awe as his magic formed into a physical and very ethereal looking bow, bound to the very palm of his hands. His other hand takes out an arrow from literally nothing and shoots the closer one down. You would have voiced out how amazing it was to witness it up close until your eyes latches on to the familiar sword slinging on his back.

Rumarin manages to shoot the other one that got blasted away, thanks to his naturally fast mana regeneration and the human’s handy fireball. “Whew. That scared the wits out of me. Thanks for the help.” The elf turns to the woman and was confused as to why she’s giving him a death stare. “…Is there a problem?”

“The sword. Where’d you get that?” She clenches her jaw, losing composure by the second.

His figure tenses, inching the sword away from view. “O-oh. This. Ah.. It’s actually an imitation. Hopefully it’ll pass off as a warning to those ugly bandits. Heh.” The nervous elf tried not to get intimidated by that sharp look to his best but kept backing up slowly from the woman.

“I don’t have time for lies. Hand it over.”

“Oh. You’re one of them? Listen, I’m sorry about what I said. I take it back..! You’re not-.. You’re actually quite beautiful. Wait, I meant that as a.. as-..well, you know. Er..” The person chuckles nervously and recomposes himself. “Right. Now it makes sense who’re those people waiting behind you.” He moans in defeat.

You instinctively flipped around; ready to deal with whomever it is he pointed out to, only to find the distant cave and no other traces of life nearby. “Wha.. Damn you.” You growled under your breath as you turned back and chase after the man running towards the ruin. Tired and at the edge of your patience, you did your best to hop through this snow but the person had longer legs and more stamina, and a very annoying way of taunting you like you’re a brainless idiot.  _ ‘Alright. That’s it.’ _ Pouring all your focus in a single spell, your magic lifts him up from the ground and with one smooth gesture, forces the person to hit the ground. He groans out sharply from the impact; bet that hurt bad with the sword digging on his unprotected back when he crashed. You arrived but not fast enough so you made a leap and threw yourself at him soon as he was able to get up on one knee.

“Urgh-! I.. I don’t think this is.. Appropriate—we haven’t even met yet!” Rumarin grumbles, struggling to break away his legs from the woman’s tight grasp. Bandits sure are desperate. Her strength’s flickering in and out and she looks deprived of sleep, which works for him because he can’t put his mind to conjure anything with her continually trying to tangle their limbs together. Once he got an opening, he pulled his leg off and didn’t hesitate to introduce his boot to her face, sending the hostile woman tumbling back. “Ha! Take that!” Rumarin cheers in triumph. He may not be outrageously skilled in physical combat but he knows a thing or two. But the stranger wasn’t quite done yet. Staggering as she gets up, the woman doesn’t even bother to wipe off her leaking nose and brandishes a dagger from underneath her bag. Kind of an inconvenient place to hide it unless she’s got fast hands— _ SWISH! _

_ _ By Syrabane, she does.

_ _

... _ Swish! ...Swish! _

How Rumarin was able to dodge all of those is beyond him. “Hey-! You know, I really like aggressive women..  _ huph!  _ But I.. think..” He huffs, evading and ducking, rolling over behind her as she continues on her frenzied swings. “This is being a bit  _ too _ aggressive for my tastes!” He shrieks as the blade barely scratches his face. The lashing’s lack of accuracy is obviously due to exhaustion. But she’s showing a pattern in her moves and not just mindless slashing—he’ll have to give her that. Just until then, he could’ve sworn he saw the corner of her lips twitch up when he ducks. Her knee connects with his jaw in an instant and the high elf was tossed back like a basket of apples, his back against the freezing snow. Gold coins and other loot scattered about but made minimal noise on this thickened field.

“You’re quite a talker aren’t you...”

Weight presses on his stomach and he knew this was it for him. Both arms are pinned beside him and unless he can perform some incredible acrobatic stunt, his lower half is useless in this position—save for his groin,  _ but that’s not where this is going as far as he’s been informed. _ Rumarin managed to laugh despite the obvious shaking in his voice.

“I find talking is the more sensible option here. Otherwise, you might give an elf the wrong idea with this kind of position. Hehe... Unless you’re up for it?” Gods, what the hell is he squeaking now... A slit throat wouldn’t come off as a shocker right this moment.

Surprise flashes over her face for a second. “You’re an elf..?” The woman effortlessly flicks off his hood with a snap of her fingers and they both got to take a better look at each other. She doesn’t really look like a bandit now that Rumarin takes a closer inspection on her attire. He can also sense her affinity with magic given how easily she blends her combat ways with it.

Her expression hardens and he knew her disposition is now tainted with the ever present bias of northerners against anyone with gold skin and pointed ears. Blue eyes pierced him, blank and cold as the half frozen waters of Yorgrim. “Where did you get the sword?” The dagger threatens to cut his nose.

“Alright, I know. I get it. We can split the gold--” He spoke truthfully yet the lady moves and presses the dagger on his neck this time. He might as well slice his own throat against the blade with his uncontrollable trembling.

“I feel like we should get acquainted properly. What’s. Your. Name.”

Is he under a charm or does her growl really just turns him on as much as it scares him. If he survives, he will go to the nearest temple and have his brain cleansed by priests. He will repent until he is rid of this strange taste for—her dagger deepens, harder and firmer and he scrunched his face at the slight sting it causes.

“Rumarin.” The high elf croaks out.

Her steel cold face shifts into something more intimidating. “I've gathered a bit of bounty just to get here,  _ Rumarin _ . That sword is pure ebony. Where did you get it?” Why is she so invested of where it came from? What difference does it make when ebony sells the same at any place regardless the place of its— _ oh _ . Could it be that she’s asking about something else?

“A-..A woman gave it.. to.. me..” The high elf struggled to get the words out with your blade on his neck. It’ll remain like that until you get a satisfying answer. You didn’t voice out a reply but he seemed to pick up your facial response and starts to sing. Pleasingly enough, he spills out the details in less than five minutes.

“Cave?  _ That _ cave down there? And this woman.. She said the name ‘Inigo’?”

By this time, your blade is back in its sheath. The altmer nods eagerly as you look on to the rising sun. A crypt of all places. Shor’s bones, what are they thinking?  _ ‘And who the hell is Shor..’ _ You really need to get your hands on a book soon. A not so subtle grunt distracts your pondering.

“So… If you enjoy being on top of me that much, and I must say I feel the same, maybe we can just find an inn on the next settlement. Agreed?” Rumarin awkwardly jests. He’s a funny exception from the average high elf. You pay no mind to his inappropriate remarks—gods know it’s not a crime to let fear manifest in weirder ways. And you’ve been a  _ real _ bitch to him a few moments ago. Reluctant at first, the elf takes your hand and groans quietly from his aching body. Reading the signs, you waved a healing spell, taking him by surprise.

“Sorry about earlier. I just want to find my friends.”

“Well... That’s good. Wish there’s someone who’ll take me for a companion.” He mutters, “Here. Take the sword and good luck. Thanks for my bruises, too.. I guess.” He shrugs as he gives you the sword, but you reach for his arm instead. Who said this is where you part ways? Shaking your head, you switched the spell to that of fire. “How do I know you’re not lying? You’re coming with me down there, mister.” You clicked your tongue.

You let yourself snigger as Rumarin drags himself bitterly towards the cave.

* * *

“Inigo. Hey. You alright?”

He couldn’t help it if his furs are all looking bushy. Inigo never liked crypts for many reasons, some personal. To think that they’d be stuck here for hours with limited supplies is just the worst. At least Vilja got her ring now and they’ve got their friend’s medicine. They have to make it back. Then they’ll go to a library and do some adventures like Kaidan promised. And he’ll be the one to tell his friend of this crazy adventure.

Inhaling deeply, the khajiit pulls out his arrow on a Draugr’s carcass. It’s a dungeon of his nightmares but he won’t die here. None of them will. “I’ll be fine, friend. Let’s get the medicine to her.”

“Aye.” Kaidan secures the vials in his bag, tightening the grip on his nodachi as he and Inigo look on to the ancient door they locked behind them. Weak groans of the undead echoed on the other side. “Let’s do this as carefully as we can. We don’t know how many more are out there.” His words were dipped in equal mixtures of caution and hostility. The exit is still a long way up, especially with ancient magic getting in their way. But they’ll get out of here.

Kaidan won’t keep her waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. If it comes a time that you think I stopped writing this story. I haven't. Just that, I've been called in to watch over my grandma and she may not have very long to live. So keeping a day job and going straight to hospital may get in the way of writing. But I won't drop this one yet. :) Thank u for understanding, fellow readers. xoxo


	18. Right Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting draugrs, reunions, and you being a douche.

**017**

**Right Cards**

Aside from the whistling wind, it was the droplets leaking from somewhere and echoing inside this cold, dark, unsettling cave that kept bugging Rumarin. Every sound it produces only reminds him that he shouldn’t be here in the first place. None of them should be. But the woman just won’t take no for an answer and threatened him to keep pushing onward. The high elf does her bidding, albeit unwillingly and the moment their eyes fell on that ancient Nordic design on the door is the moment he knew his dream of having a pie for a coffin is not gonna come true. Why? Because here’s what’ll happen—they’ll make a little trip inside in search of her companions, one thing leads to another and soon enough they’ll be prancing in this dungeon filled with Draugrs and skeletons, and die a horrible death.

“I am telling you, you don’t want to do this.” Rumarin fidgets, refusing to be the one to open that forsaken door.

“I don’t or  _ you _ don’t?” She raises a brow at him.

“Right. I don’t.  _ And  _ you don’t want to risk this as well.” He tries to talk her out of it. “Listen, I get that they’re important to you okay? But we’re not properly geared. We can’t waltz in there and simply yell their names. There are Draugrs in there.  _ Draugrs! _ ”

The woman studies him with doubt lingering in her eyes. “You’re not able to take down a few skeletons like earlier? I can protect us both if you need that.” She offers, thinking that’ll be enough to persuade the high elf. Rumarin simply shakes his head. Humans are sometimes inconveniently ignorant. Can’t believe she doesn’t know about Nordic crypts. But then again so do a lot of adventurers, that’s why only a select few can make it out alive of such places.

“If you’ve been in one of these before, which I suppose not, you should know the undead here are raised by ancient magic. Their purpose is to protect the ruins, burial crypts mostly from intruders like your friends—and soon us.”

The woman takes a short pause and then shrugs nonchalantly. “You’ve been looting their urns long enough to have a decent amount of experience against them. Should be no problem with you, right?”

“Woman, you are out of your mind.” The elf sighs deeply as they both push against the door.

* * *

Just a few hours back, all that could be heard from the stone walls are the rushing sound of heavy footsteps and clunking of steel.

“ _ huff... huff..  _ Inigo! Kaidan! I found a way!”

It was Vilja. After gaining access to the main chamber, they got the ring she needed to retrieve but the room was completely swarmed with the undead in a matter of seconds. “Go! Now! I’ll be there!” Kaidan yells, fighting off as many skeletons as he can handle to stall them some time. Inigo backs Vilja as she pulls the chain to open the tunnel, providing ranged support for the swordsman. But the zombies keep coming in. That one loud Draugr must have woken up a lot of them. Things are not looking good for Kaidan down there either. The swordsman can only hold on so much and by the time the tunnel is open, the undead would have already overwhelmed him. Unless...

“Inigo? Inigo! What are you doing?” Vilja exclaims as he puts on her his sword. “Protect yourself, Vilja.” He looks her in the eye with determination. “Our friend will not be happy if one of us dies. He needs help. But you need to go now. We’ll catch up!” Without even waiting for a reply, Inigo rushes down to where Kaidan is to attract the attention of their enemies away from the swordsman. Kaidan scolded him, but it didn’t matter any more. They’ll have each other’s backs until it’s clear. As soon as the tunnel opened up, the two screamed at Vilja to leave them, still caught in a crowd of vengeful bones. Unequipped with better armor, she scurries away, swearing she’ll come back with help but when she reached halfway to the entrance, a loud rumbling noise reverberated throughout the dungeon. The tunnel entry from the main chamber has collapsed.

That was the last time the nord lady saw them as she hurried away from this forsaken place.

* * *

“I am... telling.. you..! You-..  _ nggh...!  _ don’t wanna d-..do this!!”

“I don’t...!? Or..  _ uhhf!  _ Or y-you don’t..?!”

“BOTH! WE’RE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN, HURRY UP!!”

Rumarin shrieked at the top of his lungs, an invisible force holding him up against the iron door as countless undead claws their way in. He could hear the spine tingling growls of the creatures from the other side. They’re just inches from him and would no doubt slay his sorry ass if not for the barrier separating them. Every pounding on the door threatens for a blade to get through; hell, even just one thin enough might go on and proceed to chop off his arm right away. What in oblivion is taking her so long anyway?!

“Any second now would be great! I really want both my arms intact!!” The altmer cries out.

“Then you should have stayed down when I told you so!!” You screamed, keeping the magical force as steady as you can in order to keep the door from opening without crushing Rumarin.

“ _ WHATEVER!!  _ Just finish them!” He yells back in equal frustration.

You would pull him out of his predicament in a heartbeat but you’re way too far in the middle of this hallway. If you pull him, you’ll have to deal with everything behind those doors fast.  _ “GRRAUGH!”  _ Not to mention, these horrifying Draugrs are piling up in the cramped space you’ve stumbled in. You’re stuck keeping both sides from overwhelming you. You maintained the stream of fire against the approaching creatures without lowering the amount of force in your other hand, lest they’ll get their sharp hands on that idiot. Honestly, you’re still bummed out that he got caught in the spell.

When the two of you were chased into this narrow space, you knew there’s limited ways to fight your way through. Out of reflex, you released a wave of energy back at the door when the skeletons found you but you didn’t expect Rumarin to be caught in it. Before you could pull him back, another group emerges from the corner at the end of the hallway and, as mortifying as it is to admit it, you gave in to panic; resorting to showering the incoming foe with fire, all while the helpless elf endures serving as a makeshift barricade for the door.

Blazing away the temporary life passed down on their bones, you wait until they thin out.  _ ‘Just a little more.’ _ One by one, the undead falls and the path clears enough to buy some time. That’s when you coiled your magic around Rumarin. He yelps when you yank him back and you catch him, rolling together several steps onward. You didn’t expect him to be that heavy given he’s unarmoured. But maybe he’s not  _ that _ scrawny under those robes—not that you’re interested in finding out, and judging by the dirty look he gives you, it appears you might have been too rough with him.

With the undead bursting through and more coming in from both ends of the passage, the woman comes up on top of the still recovering elf. “Stay down this time!” she commands him. Though Rumarin’s head is spinning, he knew exactly what she’s gonna do with those embers building up in her outstretched arms.

“Are you suicidal, woman!? We’re gonna get roasted as well in a space this little!”

She grits her teeth, eyeing their enemies with furious determination. “Keep still, Rumarin.”

“Do you even have enough magicka left?”

This time she looks at him and the world seemed to have slowed down when she gave him a weak smile. She didn’t say a word. She was really brave; to have delved into a dungeon she knows nothing about, without guarantee if she’ll find anything out of all these troubles. But her eyes—now that Rumarin can stare at that magnificent shade of blues, her eyes were overflowing with fear that could even surpass his own. Screwing their eyes shut at the same time, Rumarin took cover as magic sets their surroundings ablaze, engulfing and shattering bones in a raging sea of fire.

It didn’t take a minute for things to start heating up. If only her destruction magic is stronger, it’ll take a shorter amount of time to clear out this crowd. Rumarin felt something drop on his exposed wrist. Blinking rapidly as his eyes opened, attempting to adjust his sights to the blinding light of her fire, the high elf traces it to the trickle of blood from the woman’s nose. She’s straining, wild-eyed at their enemies and breathing heavier than moments ago.  _ ‘Her mana won’t make it!’  _ His eyes travelled to her arms and realized how dreadfully  _ close  _ the fire is to her skin.  _ ‘What are you gawking at? She’s losing control, stop her you idiot!’  _ Rumarin cautiously snaps her out of it, not risking touching her and disrupting her focus even more. “Hey! Stop!” He clenched his fists, mustering up the courage to take his chances.

“STOP! You can’t save anyone if you die!”

As if breaking out of a trance, her eyes widen. The flames thinned, gathering back to her palms which in a split second, bursts into a roaring thunderbolt, accompanied by frozen spikes impaling every living enemy on the wall. Rumarin was speechless. What just happened?

“ _ Haa _ -...”

She sighed lifelessly, drained from excessive use of magic, nearly collapsing from the toll it took on her. Rumarin sits up and catches her fragile body. “It would have saved us a lot of trouble if only you pulled that trick from the start.” The elf raises a brow while carefully helping her up. “I don’t know what that is.” Her voice was suddenly hoarse and something about it felt different; the expression on her face looks so pained. “What happened to you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Wait... There isn’t one here now, right?” But she didn’t respond to it, not even a word. The woman kept staring at the ground with a conflicted face. She glanced up at him as if to say something but bit her lip and limped away instead, wiping her face. “Let’s just... Please, let’s just go.” She says voice slightly breaking.

_ Was she crying..? _

* * *

His ears twitched upon hearing a noise. It sounded like somewhere inside the dungeon is crumbling. Looks like another part of the dungeon caved in, he just hopes it’s not blocking the entrance. Wait. Inigo’s ears perk up once more and this time Kaidan does not miss it.

“What’s wrong?” He clutches his sword, putting away the waterskin he had in hand. The khajiit gets up, his ears twitched in a certain direction. Without another word, he gestures for Kaidan and they both sneak out of the room they hid themselves earlier. A few quick turns to the corners they’d rid of undead earlier and a stair leading to the floor above brings them to the main hall. “I think I heard yelling a while ago.” He whispers lowly.

“Another person?”

Inigo nods. “It was followed by some crackling noise. Like a lightning spell or something.”

“Didn’t expect you to have some exposure in magic.”

“My only exposure to magic is when it is used against me, friend.”

The two proceeded to tread as quietly as they can in an attempt to discover where the noise came from. Finally stepping into a narrow hallway, both were taken aback, astounded by the sight of numerous draugrs impaled with glacial spikes in their heads. Charred bones piled up on each other while dark spots scattered around the surfaces backing up Inigo’s guess about it coming from a lightning spell. This must have been what the blue cat was hearing a while ago. Kaidan brushes his fingers down on the ice. “This is fresh. Someone’s been here.”

“Could be the help Vilja’s talking about?”

“Could be. But it’s too quiet.”

Inigo tilts his head. “Maybe they’re good at sneaking as well?”

“No... We gotta be careful.” Kaidan remains hesitant. The static in the air feels awfully familiar somehow. “Looks like they’ve cleared this part, whoever they are. Let’s try this direction, maybe we can—" The sound of Inigo’s boots making a loud crunch against the crisp remains on the ground cuts him off. The khajiit had crouched down and picked something up. He sniffs it and regards the item with sudden disbelief. Inigo quickly shows the swordsman a destroyed leather bracer. “Strange... It’s hers.”

_ Hers? _

Kaidan takes it and is utterly disturbed by how similar it is to their companions. No. No this must be a coincidence. It just happens to have the same design with hers, that’s all. Still, they both press on with more resolve to see if there’s another living being here besides them.

* * *

Rumarin is close to shaking in his boots and it’s not just because of fear. “You are terribly heavy for your height.” He grunts, an arm wrapped around your waist as you lean on him for support while limping up the stairs. Now, now Rumarin, that was too harsh. “Alright, I take that back. I’m just not built for lifting.” He murmurs in a defeated tone. The elf had been jesting ever since you left that place. Might be an attempt to lighten the mood, which you appreciate very much but for personal reasons, you couldn’t shake off the eerie memory that flashed in your mind when he yelled at you. The  _ witch’s words _ resonated in your head and something just... Sparked. There’s just too much going on in your brain right now that you can’t process

“Gods, you’re so quiet. I might as well talk to a draugr at this point.” The altmer gently helps you down upon finding an abandoned embalming room. Your labored breathing eases a bit as you slant your back against a shelf that had fallen down from long ago. Right now, you’re just thankful for whatever slight comfort you get without being jumped by a zombie for every gods forsaken minute. Rumarin’s surprisingly thoughtful of you. Or he’s worried you’d die and nobody’s going to protect him out of the mess you’ve dragged him in. “Hey. Thanks for helping me.” You finally broke the silence.

Rumarin’s face lit up in relief, then anger, and then curled into a wry smile when he couldn’t decide what expression he should present you with.

“ _ Helping _ ? Am I supposed to laugh? You  _ threatened  _ me to come with you. I never approved of this. I’m basically your hostage.”

He bursts out, waving his arms in wild gestures to compensate for the lack of volume in his little tantrum. Can’t afford to attract those skeletons, right? No matter how much you want to take him seriously, those reddened cheeks didn’t go unnoticed even in this barely lit room and you stifle a laugh, causing his golden skin to flush even more. “You know what? Maybe I should have just left you back there.” He grumpily plumps down beside you. You nod lazily, “You should try. Do I look like I’m in shape to stop you?” A dry laugh escapes the elf. “And what—die on my way out? We both know your protection is what kept me alive this whole time. That’s why you’re wicked.”

“Just playing my cards right, I guess.”

“You play it well. Those people are lucky to have you on their side. Or did you just string them along?”

You peek at him, trying to meet his eyes and the elf flinches back under his hood. “If they were just some part of a ruse, I’d never travel this far just to suffer in search of them.” You tell him with a blank face. What he said didn’t offend you in any way. Sure it sounded brash but he’s just as frustrated as you are in this situation. He rolls his eyes instead; too proud to apologize for the accusation. Then his eyes lands back to your blistered arms. “If you don’t mind me asking, why aren’t you healing those burns anyway? You’re skilled in healing aren’t you?”

“Any healing would do actually, but for some reasons, every time I use healing magic on myself, I end up poisoned.”

“You mean your self casted restoration spells are reversed? How unfortunate.”

“That... Was oddly  _ specific _ , but yes. Yeah, that seems like it. How do you know?” Your brows knit in confusion.

Rumarin shrugs indifferently, “I don’t but... Hexes, curses, old magics and what not. Witches are involved most of the time when things are weird even to those who are no stranger to the arcane arts.”

_ Witches.... _

Putting aside your personal questions, you carry on with the topic. “I see.. So anyway, this is also why my friends are in search for a strong cure. They were supposed to be in Dawnstar but..” You hung your head low and sighed. “I don’t know. I hope they’re not here.”

“Oh great. The power of friendship.” Rumarin scoffs.

You let out a low chuckle, “Don’t pout Rumarin. I’m sure you’ll find some who’ll accompany you.”

“If they are willing to travel with someone so insufferable.”

“I know I would.”

Rumarin jerks his head to your direction, studying your face several times in search of any signs of mischief. When he didn’t find any, the high elf gulps and laughs nervously before looking away. That must have caught him off guard. “Whatever. Be thankful I always carry a healing potion with me. Here.” He rolls a small bottle from his satchel which you gratefully consumed.  _ ‘Was that excitement I saw flicker in his face?’  _ You were about to start teasing him again when you realized his attention is now fixated into somewhere else. “Listen. There’s clashing of steel.” He murmurs under his breath but you understood enough to quickly spring on your feet. It could be them! Rumarin obviously wanted to avoid it but has little choice when you dashed off towards the main hall.

Gates slammed open, revealing a room filled with sarcophagi. You ran towards the other end and upon opening another door, you are met with a straight narrow bridge, suspended above the ground, its metal bars formed a cage-like barrier which separated you from the spacious room of the main hall. You hear a distant familiar voice, but it’s far into the room at the other end of the main hall. You could barely see who are inside but there are movements and shadows confirming of an ongoing battle. Taking a deep breath, you screamed as loud as you can—to hell with all the undead, all that matters is that you confirm the identity of those silhouettes.

“What are you doing!?  _ WHY ARE YOU YELLING SO MUCH!? _ ”

The high elf bursts out of the door after you, panting heavily like he’d just used up all the oxygen in his system. Instead of saying anything back, shooting him a side glance should speak for itself; though you had no possible way of knowing if he got the message about how he’s also yelling. You point a finger towards the room where several draugrs are marching at. “Rumarin, please. I can’t just leave them.” Your voice cracked and it feels like your heart’s going to burst out of your ribs with every passing moment. He gesture towards the dozens of skeletons under them walking towards the commotion. “Take a good look at them. They’re going get swarmed in less than a minute. Let’s go now.. Even you can’t fight off that many.” Rumarin places a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to convince you. “If they are your friends... They’d want you to survive.” He speaks softer, gentler—what’s he so sad about? You’ve heard this before.

You’ve heard that line before...

Before...?

_ _

_ Before I lost everyone. _

Tightly gripping on the ebony sword, magic took a hold of it, sliding the blade between the gaps and launching it down to the draugr closest to the archway and you soon hear its wretched bones shattering from the impact. That was just the opening act. Huge spikes of ice sprouted from the floor below as you raise it high enough to block the horde. Rumarin makes a crude comment about draining your mana as you dragged him back to the lower floor.

“Shut up, Rumarin. I’m not losing anyone  _ anymore _ .”

And for once, the elf does stay silent.

* * *

Bones fell on the floor one after another. “Inigo, stay back!” Kaidan warns the blue fellow to keep the distance as he tanks a wave of skeletons. If it weren’t for that draugr’s  _ shouting _ they wouldn’t be cornered in this room. It’s only a damn miracle they’d survived this far with but a few scratches. They’re gonna run out of healing potions soon. Suddenly the khajiit jumps back from the archway. An approaching draugr crashes on the ground with its downfall being caused by a sword.  _ Inigo’s  _ sword. Both men had no time to fully comprehend the situation with how fast things escalated. One moment, they were struggling for their life, and then another, half their enemies had engaged in combat with something or  _ someone  _ over the other side of that frozen wall of spikes—which erupted out of nowhere.

Amidst the battle, both groups can hear the other one’s struggle behind those spikes of ice. But every second that passes in this seemingly endless encounter heightens your fear. Those voices belong to your friends without a doubt.  _ Shit.  _ They’re all you have right now and you’re not gonna lose them so easily.

Fighting with bare magic proved to be troublesome especially against a horde of undead driven to slay you.You hear the sarcophagi break open one by one and were only slightly relieved that they appeared at your side of territory instead of Inigo’s. Rumarin’s magicka potion could only replenish as much and you doubt you can push your limit so soon without critically endangering yourself.

“Got any plans? Cuz I can always conjure a weapon but not my body parts..! WHOA!”

He yelps as you lift him up in the air, “Is the archway clear?!” You hollered, shoving away a draugr with the shield you picked up.

“What does it matter!?”

“ _ RUMARIN!!” _

“YES! Yes it’s cl—"

You hear his frightened shriek as you catapulted him as gently as you could over the other side. A loud thud and his empty threat dominated the restless groans for a second, relieving you of your worries. Now the floor is at your disposal.

“What’s the matter with you!!” Rumarin swings an ancient battle axe lying around against the spikes in angry frustration. It took him all of his strength just hold the weapon up but he just can’t let her take those zombies by herself. Wait—why is he worried about  _ her _ ?! The elf kept cursing and hitting the frozen barrier until his arms numbed and his breaths grew short. His persistent attempts ceased when one of the skeletons turn its attention to him. Quickly ducking for cover, Rumarin opens his eyes to the sound of bones rattling as it rolled on the ground. Two pairs of boots stepped into his line of sight, one belongs to a man and the other a khajiit.

“Who are you?” The first one spoke while catching his breath. His voice is low and hostile, matching the sharpness his eyes projected. The high elf studies the wounded human equipped with a chunk of thick armor and postured to strike him with a longsword. “Did you cause this?” His raven hair is completely messed and tangled up, majority of the locks slipped out of his supposed bun and he looked down on him with contempt.

The strange colored khajiit signals the man to lower his sword and he listens. Rumarin also noticed the blue khajiit has the ebony sword in his hands. “Stay your sword, friend. No need for unnecessary violence.” He convinced the swordsman in that rough, slightly growl like voices any khajiit has. This must be that Inigo, then. Before any of them could savour this meet and greet session, Rumarin felt a heavy shift in the atmosphere. He thought it was just the lack of ventilation from when she was burning the whole room earlier but it’s the exact heaviness in the air right now which the two strangers have seem to catch up on as well. They look up behind the elf; dust and fog gathers into a cloud while a fiery glow grows progressively brighter. “I don’t feel good about this.” Rumarin warns, quickly getting up to distance himself from the wall of ice.

Not a moment too soon, the area bursts into flames just like Rumarin had predicted, sending waves of magical energy rippling throughout the underground. Hope she at least has a backup plan to shield them if that happens. This is why he’s not particularly fond of mages. Let them reach certain mastery on their magical capabilities and see how reckless they use it. For some reason, his nerves are shot and can’t seem to calm down without knowing whether that strange captor of his is alright. The explosion easily conquered the spikes, melting and cracking the thick barrier she had put between them.

Your knees hit the dirt filled floor. The last trace of magic burns out from your being and so does the adrenaline. It was hard to breathe through this smoke and with all the wounds you’ve acquired, paired with a budding headache from the forced release of magic, it was quite impossible to inhale without experiencing pain course through your body. Silence fell on the room the moment you roasted every undead in sight and you worried for your companions including the high elf.  _ ‘They didn’t get caught up, did they? No...’  _ Coughing out the dust, you stand on shaking limbs and start taking small steps forward; a hand pressed on your unprotected arm to stop its bleeding. Each movement makes you feel like your flesh is gonna fall off.  _ ‘Will it worry Inigo too much? I’m a bit scared to see Kaidan frowning at me again...’ _ You pondered, still not hearing any signs of life. Unwelcomed tears prickled your eyes and it hurts holding it back—anyone, just  _ anyone _ please, let this desperate mortal know she’s not going out alone.

Very soon, the smoke thins out and beneath those wild flames danced the shadows of  _ three _ people you longed to meet. They rushed towards you when they confirmed it’s not a draugr dragging itself towards them. There were no room for words that moment. Inigo and Kaidan both had the same baffled expression with underlying hints of sadness and guilt. All weapons were discarded without a care on the floor when they catch your battered arms as you let yourself fall. You don’t care. All that counts is that they are very much alive and you can wrap your arms around them as you pulled them in, basking in their warmth.

_ “Everyone’s here...” _

To say that you were relieved is an understatement. The betrayal and feelings of abandonment from being left behind, the comfort and joy of reuniting with them... all these mixed emotions had welled up inside you long enough, and after a second or two of them returning your gesture, the lump in your throat couldn’t bear it anymore. A soft sob escapes first, followed by tears uncontrollably pouring out of your eyes until you are nothing more but a weeping child. They didn’t meet you with scrutinizing gazes or flinch as your blood stains their equipment nor scold you for going after them. They let you cry it out, whispering their sincerest apologies and words of reassurance. Inigo almost chokes on his words and you could tell he’s also getting carried away from this emotional exchange. Kaidan saying he won’t ever leave your side again invoked a lot more emotion than he’d ever displayed from all your time spent together.

“I should have known you would follow. I’m so stupid... I’m sorry we couldn’t find a cure sooner and that you had to go and—”

“Kaidan, stop. It’s done. You’re alive and we’re all together again.” You cupped his cheek, knowing that the broken voice and lowered gaze spoke more for itself. He didn’t have to say anything. They don’t have to explain. It’s okay now because you understand. When people care, they tend to go to certain lengths and life really just has a twisted method of getting in the way. He nods, eyes closed, sighing deeply as he presses his forehead on yours while Inigo is fighting back his tears with your other hand comfortingly brushing his furs. Instantaneously, the shared moment is interrupted from a sound of sniffling not far off.

“Oh. Pardon me. I’m just getting a bit weepy myself.”

Rumarin stood awkwardly near the archway, wiping his misty eyes.  _ Oh, poor Rumarin _ . Of course you hadn’t forgotten about him, but seeing your friends just let all the frustration out of the box. The two men regained their previous composure and cautiously regarded the high elf.

“Rumarin, this is Kaidan and Inigo. You guys, Rumarin. He helped me find you.” You introduced them under your hoarse voice. Of course you left out the part where you forced him to accompany you. It didn’t seem to lighten up the mood but you should have known it’s not easy to make friends in a place like this. Rumarin gives a quick half wave and you don’t know if he’s trying to smile or what but his nervousness is screwing up his expression.

When the two only exchanged eye contact and said nothing to the elf, Rumarin took up on himself to tell them he’s not staying. “I-.. I’m not staying don’t worry. I’ll just hang back until we find the exit and... go back to travelling alone. Don’t want to ruin your party with my existence. Heh.” He jokingly said but... Oh, screw it.

“You can travel with us.”

Kaidan’s wide eyes pierced you almost immediately, begging to reason with you. You figured he’ll always be the one skeptic in making connections. And without a doubt, this is about hiding from the Thalmor again. But you had enough of that garbage. Just thinking of living your life in constant hiding is exhausting. If the Thalmor finds you, it’s easier to be ready with more fighters to back you up.

“Kaidan, please. He kept me safe with his potions this whole time. And his conjuration skills are amazing. If we’re running from the Thalmor, we can use his help.”

“It’s only a matter of time before another conflict arises that’ll take the Dominion’s eyes away. We can stay low and make a living until then.” He insists.

“How can you be so sure of that, friend?”

“Inigo’s right. We can’t be sure. So if you want to be ready for them, Rumarin can totally pull his own weight.”

The swordsman’s grumpiness is back, “Are you saying Inigo and I aren’t skillful enough for you?” Now you both know he’s not like that. The man’s trying to coax Inigo to somehow agree with him, and with Inigo’s slightly hurt expression, he just did.

You squint, eyes still stinging from earlier. Suddenly, you feel light in your head as your body starts to give in to fatigue. “That’s not it, I—”

“It doesn’t matter! I don’t mind.. I-.. It’s fine, friend.” Rumarin butts in. But he does sound dejected from where this argument is ending. Shit. He didn’t say it out loud but you knew he wanted to travel with someone. After all his help, it’s the least thing you can do for him at least until he’s satisfied. Damn it, your consciousness is already slipping. Your knees buckle and you collapse to the ground. Your companions readily come to your aid.

Time for improvisations. _ ‘I’m sorry Rumarin.’ _

“But... He said he’ll service me..” You fight to stay awake until you finish it. “..in .. in exchange of... saving his life-” Rumarin’s eyes widened as he catches a whiff of your scheme. “.. _ even  _ after he tried to kill me.” You pulled out your most desperate expression you can make, “Rumarin... You swore on your  _ honor _ ..!” puffing out the last of your words, you watch the scene unfold as Kaidan and Inigo buys your act and restrains a stupefied altmer. You give him a subtle apologetic smile. Don’t worry; they won’t kill you over that. They’ll let you decide on it. That’s what you wanted to convey to him but he just looks appalled. You wish he’d stop looking at you like that as your group navigates your way out.

You’re just trying to play your cards right after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright about the name. The main thing is I have trouble naming the protagonist (LDB/MC) because I use to name my characters ridiculously silly names. Like.. "Lil dude" "Citizen" "Joe mama" "Mah dude" "Bro" and more cringe/shitty names that sometimes NPC letters come out like they're hippies or whatever. So... yeah. I can't do the naming thing seriously ever since QwQ I'll be just glad to settle giving the LDB a nickname here which I will rarely use anyway lol
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING BTW <3 <3 <3 I need sleep my blood is lower than my confidence as of late ;w;


	19. Walking Into the Lion's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventurers rest up before setting on another trip. Two thinks about how to make some coin, two thinks about how to die.

**018**

**Walking Into the Lion's Den**

‘Was I wrong?’

The words kept repeating in his mind as he stared at her sleeping face. After a five minute self reflection, the pondering swordsman snaps himself out of his thoughts and back to reality. He’s seated back on a chair, warm and safe in an inn from the freezing embrace of the outside plains, and guarding the unconscious lady he’s indebted to inside a rented room. He eyes his companion with concern. Her armour desperately needs to visit a blacksmith so she’ll have to make do with that extra clothing Inigo brought with him. It’s a bit loose on the size, aye, but the cloth is thick and will keep her warm. She looks so  _ tired _ even when she’d already been passed out for the whole day. Guess it can’t be helped.

Given how worn and scathed her body is, she’ll require a huge amount of healing potion unless a healer miraculously offers them free service. The poison cure would be hazardous to her system if taken with another alchemical product due to its rather strong mixture. So after a short discussion with Inigo, they agreed to have her take the antidote first, just to be safe. They have to fix her wounds up the old fashioned way but at least the poison wouldn’t be a threat anymore. He has been keeping watch of her for the whole day while Inigo is stationed to guard that high elf, Rumarin. That guy didn’t look to be much of a fighter, nor an expert mage. But he’ll stay with them until their companion decides what to do with him. To be honest, he’d be fine with either killing him off or abandoning him in the wilds. Although he already expects Inigo and her will have an entirely different approach to this, so he’ll shut his mouth on the matter. Besides, the Dominion doesn’t appear to be rushing the apprehension of the suspects for the prison incident. They would have already been tracked days ago if those elves are completely focusing on them.

Kaidan grunts in frustration. He was such an idiot, thinking she’ll stay put like a kid. Has he learned nothing from the reports and the time they travelled together? She was the one who freed him in the first place and wrecked that Thalmor prison, for Divines’ sake. She wouldn’t be here if he trusted her a bit more about the situation. Instead he couldn’t afford to root his feet in one place at a time and let his paranoia run the show. The swordsman toyed with his soup and bread, unable to bring himself to eat it when his anxious thoughts are stirring wildly. But like a candle in the dark, his troubles are washed away when he sees her suddenly cupping his hand. About time the lady wakes up, huh.

He curiously followed her movement as she silently studied her surroundings. “Hey...” the man knelt by her bedside, her palms still enclosed around his. “How are you feeling?” The woman didn’t reply. Did she always look this harmless? For some reason, knowing that she allows herself to be unguarded around him gives him...  _ strange _ feelings. A good strange.

The swordsman wanted to greet her with a bit more cheer. Maybe drop a joke or two or tell her how good she looks when her hair’s down but those are easier said than done. She gave him a blank expression, waiting for him to say something more but when he took too long, she firmly brought his hand up to her face. Wait, what is she even— _ oh _ . She just took a bite out of his bread. Kaidan hadn’t realized he’s still holding the food which must have prompted her to go straight for it. Anyone would be famished after sleeping that much without sustenance. Unexpectedly, his next reaction was the least he thought he’d make. A soft chuckle comes out from him. She  _ is _ cute, especially when she’s not trying to. It’s subtle and her lighter side comes out very naturally. This side of her is what makes her presence in his life so bright despite the things they do.

“Heh. I suppose we should get you a proper dinner.”

* * *

Your blue friend watches on as he chews on his supper. “Wow. I’m amazed by how many bowls of stew you can take in, my friend.” Inigo’s comment on your appetite echoed throughout the fairly empty tavern. You glanced at him behind the bowl you’re wolfing down. “If it’s properly made.” It is a good soup. Why wouldn’t you devour such a pleasantly prepared meal? Additionally, it works for warmth as well without having to wash your throat with booze. “When are we getting back to Riften?” The question made the whole table go quiet. Except for Rumarin. He’s making sloppy noises eating his share of stew.  _ Haha _ , he’s got crumbs all over his face.

“Did you mean  _ all _ of us?”

This time, Kaidan’s eyes travel to the elf, a whole new expression setting in his face, particularly disapproval.  _ Right _ . You haven’t really mentioned the truth, more or less thought about how to bring it up without him flipping out. Inigo will most likely agree to whatever you decide—he’s sociable, has a healthy amount of humour, and is always willing to hear your reasoning first. The conflict will be with these other two. Kaidan is too distrustful of strangers and his current mentality is still clouding his vision to bigger pictures, though it is under recovery. He’ll flat out deny anyone who points it out but it shows no matter how hard he tries to suppress it. On the other hand, Rumarin—for the short amount of time you’ve known him—is kind in his own strange ways and caring, even giving away his potions to a dying stranger... which is also smart of him for acknowledging when he must submit to keep his life. For a high elf, he’s pretty low in confidence and far less condescending than the average altmer. His conjuration skills make up for it but he’s  _ easy  _ to intimidate though. Even if he’s sending obvious hints of eagerness to tag along with you, he’ll be too proud and awkward to ask for a spot in the group—especially with Kaidan strongly disagreeing with it.

“Can we talk first?”

“ _ I think we should _ .”

Somehow, hearing Kaidan say it like he’s been meaning to from the start makes you more nervous about it. You give Inigo and Rumarin a quick glance. Your friend already looks like he knows the story between you and the altmer but is keeping quiet for the sake of the elf. You slump your shoulders as you followed Kaidan upstairs, knowing there’ll be another debate which you are not mentally prepared for yet.

_ Five seconds. _

_ _

_ Ten seconds. _

Rumarin clears his throat.

“Hmm... that was awkward. Shame that he couldn’t just figure that out like you did.” His eyes suddenly darts to Inigo, in need of confirmation, “Wait, y-you do right? Oh geez.” The panic was valid. Rumarin just blurted that out without thinking twice if what he sensed earlier is true. It’s a good thing Inigo’s much more lenient than the dark haired human. His nod effectively calms down the altmer. “I do. And we should be thankful he hasn’t yet. Er.. He’s not really the friendliest one as you can see.” He mutters before taking a bite out of his meal.

“Well... It shows.”

“Anyway, now that they’re gone for a while, will you tell me now how you actually met? You look forward to travelling with her, yes?”

Ridiculous. “What! Yes—I mean no..! Absolutely... Maybe? Not really.” What kind of observation was that? Why is it outrageously accurate? It’s that obvious?? Rumarin’s breath gets caught up in his throat and the curious khajiit just laughs at his stammering. “Hehehe. It’s alright to admit it. She is an amazing companion and friend. A good tale takes time, friend.” He assures him and the elf accepts it with just a bit of hesitation.

He doesn’t really know how to put it properly into words but Inigo isn’t wrong. So he gives it a shot. “I.. Well. It’s really weird. Even though she beat me and forced me to do things without my consent at first, I grew to like her in such a short amount of time.” Inigo’s reaction is a little alarmed so the elf figured his phrasing could have gone a bit better but—..oh well, what’s done is done. Moving forward. “Wait. What I meant is she was terrified back in the crypt but she drove herself onwards basing only on hearsay that her companions were there. Maybe she was an idiot and a reckless one to do that but I saw how much she cares. That earned my respect.. If that makes sense.”

Inigo muses at Rumarin’s words, a subtle smile unconsciously forming on his mouth. “I know what you’re saying. Most people would have just given up or retreated.” He felt bad that his friend went to that trouble but it warms his heart to know she cared that much.

“Yes. I was happy enough lending a bit of help to reuniting friends, but then when I saw you greeting one another I...”

He  _ what _ exactly? Remembered his mentor? Parents? The merry group of travelling entertainers he grew up with and became his family? Those were decades ago. He’s taken a different path now but still, his words kept spilling. “I wondered what it would be like to have bonds like that again. I know it sounds lame.” Travelling alone has its pros and cons. He might take home all the spoils but some nights, flashes of people dancing and having fun around campfires would cross his mind, and he will curl up inside his empty tent whispering he doesn’t miss it... But he does.

Now an opportunity has opened up for him yet he’s having the hardest time bringing himself to deal with it. What a bloody idiot.

Inigo laughs yet once more. “It is not lame and I’m sure she’ll tell you the same thing. Welcome aboard, then! I know it’s sudden but it’s great to see her making another friend. I am still number one, though.” The khajiit sounded really cheerful about it. Rumarin will take it that he has no qualms with an additional person in their group. So the only one really causing a conflict here is...

“That man, Kaidan was it? I can understand if he doesn’t want another wheel in your team. I can handle myself decently but I do look unreliable.” He sighs. Inigo’s dismissive wave caught his attention. “He’s just paranoid. I know our friend will talk him through it. But please don’t hold it against him. None of them are opening about it but it’s only been two weeks or so since they escaped. I’m sure their minds are still adjusting somehow, especially Kaidan.”

That was an explanation that prompted more questions instead of giving answers. “Escaped?” Rumarin raises a brow. There’re only a few common things people escape from—prison, lairs, and marriages.

“Yes. They’re both prison captives. And I think,” The blue cat takes sip of his drink, “that it’s still best to hear about it directly from them.” Two people escaping from prison and teaming up, huh. Sounds like a promising romance... Or a deadly journey.

* * *

“Look, about Rumarin—”

“No.”

“I haven’t finished yet. He’s not really...”

Kaidan’s raised brow and bemused face already puts a dot on your sentence. Your rented room in this Divines-know-where inn offered decent lighting for you to trace out those furrowed brows. “Aye, at first I thought he was a threat but it’s clear that he’s not.” He knows. Of course Kaidan would catch on soon given how you casually let Rumarin dine with you and the elf didn’t voice out any complaints.

“But that’s not the problem here. What I don’t understand..” His voice hushes down but kept its sharp tone “...is why you keep wanting to add another person in our group when we should be laying low.”

“Oh! You’re not mad I’m recruiting him?”

“I’m not mad about you recruiting people. I’m mad that you’re doing it at a time like this, damn it!” He finally snaps. This kind of argument is unavoidable—it’ll always circle back to the damn Thalmor. Will he cooperate if you present the ridiculous idea you have? When you fell silent on the chair beside you, he backtracks, visibly regretting his tone, “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean.. I just got worked up. We both want to ensure we’re off the list but it’s not as easy as we’d like it to be.”

“It’s not easy but possible. Right?” Now it’s Kaidan’s turn to quiet down. You took his silence as permission to state the obvious. “Don’t fool around, Kaidan. You’re smart. I know it already crossed your mind a few times.”

“What? I’m not sure what you’re—”

“We have to die.”

“ _ Excuse me? _ ”

Did he hear her right? The woman stands up and gives him the same look she did back when they first met in his cell. She’s been having the same thoughts, then. “Sooner or later, someone will trace the prison incident back to either of us. That’s what you said. So let’s give them what they want.”

Exactly his idea before. He knew they’ll end up bickering about it when it pops in her mind but she’s missing the main point on why he hasn’t raised this kind of strategy before.

“Absolutely not. I’m not going to risk your neck out there for this half baked plan.”

“It doesn’t have to be! We just have to prepare fast. And I need you to trust me.” She looks at him warily. This plan is just too dangerous to consider.

“Are you saying I don’t trust you?”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do..! But I don’t want you to be in danger because I-”  _ care about you _ , “promised to protect you.” Very quickly she takes his hands. He couldn’t even flinch back from her sudden approach, still contemplating on how and  _ why _ he almost let such words slip out.

“Then  _ protect  _ me. And I shall do the same for you. Fight alongside me like you said you would.” The woman in front of him sure sounded confident. Might it be that she is, given the determination in her eyes. He keeps forgetting his place whenever he thinks about her safety. He’s a body guard, not a baby sitter. If this is her wish, then he’ll just have to keep her alive through it.

“You’re impossible, you know?”

* * *

“Ivarstead. Already?” Rumarin’s tone was dry and unimpressed like a town crier reciting the week’s biggest news on a script. “We just got here in Riften and we’re planning on heading out again.” Four people gathered in a single person bedroom after they’d arranged their belongings in a room of their own. Thanks to one of them being a member of the Thieves’ Guild, their stay in Bee and Barb is generously discounted. The altmer had every plans of visiting the bazaar during mornings and get some stretch not far outside the walls of the city to bag some game but this talk about their next destination is just too soon. “Adventuring is good, my friend. Besides, you can show off your skills out there, too.” Inigo whispers to the elf to keep it low while Kaidan is still unprovoked.

It was a surprise how Kaidan easily let the high elf join the fold without a hitch. Or maybe he just didn’t want to argue about it since his head is in a much more pressing matter. Whatever it is that she and the swordsman talked about days ago, it seemed to have him occupied. He was quieter and mulling over something in silence. Kaidan barely exchanged words with them despite being in the same cart for hours and hours unless he was talking with her. The blue fellow didn’t want to interfere with them—though he admits that their late night murmurings with each other when they think him and Rumarin are asleep will surely raise suspicions from clueless onlookers. Either way, Inigo was glad the aloof swordsman wasn’t as hostile to the bladebinder—as Rumarin calls himself, as he was to him the first time around.

“The jobs in this city are... Hm.” Your lips pressed into straight line. The jobs aren’t exactly clean but so are you. This place is filthy and drowning in corruption at every corner. It’s sickening to see posted complaints about gang fights and street rumbles with the guards doing nothing about it. But due to some reason, you ended up amongst the ranks of these morally questionable folks so the confusion starts there. It’s not that you enjoy thievery. You’re good at it so maybe that’s why. Oh, now is not the time to ponder about it. “Let’s just say I prefer to resume my thieving activities elsewhere. Too many competitors here, you see.” What they see is you talking rubbish. Well since none of them has anything to say about it, you press on with the topic. “I only dropped by here to get a job around that area since it’s the closest one full of fresh game.”

“Gold? You know I can easily get us money.” The high elf talks about it like it’s nothing. You wish that kind of indifference about the situation would pass on to you. You breathed out a soft chuckle. “Rumarin, grave robbing is tiresome and less rewarding. If you want to help with making money, I trust Inigo can show you other jobs that can earn fast.”

The high elf gasps at Inigo, “Uh, no. Not like that.” He quickly snuffs out any inappropriate thoughts the altmer is getting. “But my friend is right. Ivarstead is a tourist spot so there’s bound to be some good loot there.” Yes. Also, Inigo is the only one who knows about your existing bounty in Eastmarch. The bounty in Riften was easy to handle—just a regular perk of being a Thieves’ Guild member. It means a lot that he’s got you covered in almost anything you decide.

“We’ll set out after two days. Until then, do whatever you deem important.” Kaidan dismisses the meeting and was the first one to leave the room followed by an exhausted Rumarin.

You notice Inigo still standing by your bedside when the other two have already disappeared. “My friend. I don’t want to be nosy but... That’s not the only reason why you’re heading to Ivarstead, is it?” He asks. Who are you kidding; you’re not running around with children. These are all experienced adventurers who might’ve travelled across Tamriel more than you ever did even with your memories intact. Half a minute passed with you just gawking at him before he mutters an apology and turned his back at you.

“Inigo, wait. It’s not that I don’t trust you.” You followed him. “It’s complicated even for me right now. Will you give me time?” The khajiit glances at you and unlike Kaidan’s skeptic gazes, his only showed concern. “I don’t want to risk anyone. But I promise to tell you when I’m ready.”

He gives you an assuring pat on the shoulders. “I will always have your back, my friend. It might sound empty after what I did but I’m ready to prove myself to you any time. I’m ready to die for you if the situation requires it.” He laughs. Inigo’s cheerfulness is infectious—something you thank the universe for ever since you invited him to join your travels.

“Woah, don’t even go there, my friend. You are pretty intense.” You playfully pinch his furry cheeks and give him a quick hug. “I think we’re all tired from the journey. Say, do you wanna chat by the fire?”

* * *

Keerava keeps sending worried glances over your table. Ah, the bottles of wine must have attracted her attention since you and Inigo keep on ordering and have yet to pay for it. Can you be blamed, though? Nothing like a good drink to lift up the spirits when talking about each other’s pasts. And your friend does take his sweet time revealing you his story. Of course, you barely remember yours; hence, Inigo takes the lead. Turns out, he had a very interesting childhood—being adopted with his elder brother and raised by a loving couple; a khajiit and an argonian who are both retired assassins. Extraordinary indeed.

“Some found their union hard to understand. They were just mother and father to me.” He says. You’re glad to hear something about him and how he makes it clear that he doesn’t tolerate racism or any kinds of oppression. It must be nice to have fond memories of your parents. You feel kind of envious, if you’re going to be honest. A shame really, that his parents already passed. The way he describes them makes it obvious how he really loved his foster parents. Pretty soon the topic falls on to his brother, Fergus. The hour went by and all you could do is hold your tears back from the heart wrenching story. Needless to say, he was unable to finish it when his eyes fell on your flushed face.

“A-are you crying, my friend? Forgive me, I didn’t mean to sound so depressing.” He sounded a little panicked upon hearing you sniffling. A warm hand pats your back comfortingly.

“Sorry,” you laughed hoarsely as you wiped away some tears. The alcohol surely makes it easy to let out emotions. “I’m also sorry about your family, Inigo. But hearing your story... I just suddenly feel very jealous. I wish there were good times I can recall as well. Just like you.” You didn’t mean to steal his spotlight, but your mouth just kept blabbering on its own. “I want to investigate my past but as long as I’m being suspected, I can’t... That’s why I was planning to move against the Thalm— _ mhp. _ ”

Even Inigo jumped a bit when a heavy hand presses down on your head. There’s that awful feeling again of someone looking at youwith annoyance.

“What are you doing up this late at night?”

Great, mother’s here.

The pressure increases and your numbing head trembles under the grip. “Did you really just say that out loud?” Kaidan’s contemptuous voice is scaring away the melodramatic mood but not your buzz. “You two should be resting. We’re not staying here for a vacation.” Strict as ever. He lets go of the grip and rubs your head shortly after. Inigo didn’t have it in him to fool around with Kaidan when he’s flashing that stern look on his face. You doubt you could as well since his point is valid. So your blue friend gets up instead, bidding you a quick good night before paying at the counter and dashing off to his room.

“Wha... He ran away. You scared him off.” You weren’t really sure if you were laughing or not but Kaidan’s unimpressed expression didn’t shift.

The swordsman spared no time hauling you back to your room. You stumble forward to your bed, finally feeling the alcohol’s full effect after moving from your seat.

“If you’re so loose lipped when you’re drunk then stop drinking too much.” He scolds, not missing how your figure swayed when you reach for the mattress. “I thought we’re keeping quiet about this plan? You didn’t meet me on time that’s why I searched for you and what do I find? You almost spilled it out—in a tavern of all places.” Is the room spinning? Just how many drinks did you have? Kaidan’s words went straight in and right out of your ears. You couldn’t even remember what it is you two are going to talk about. Maybe something about the plan again but that could wait until tomorrow. Sensing your disorientation, he sighs deeply and helps put you to bed.

“Kaidan.” You grabbed his arm. Even without his armor, he’s built like a seasoned warrior. He’s no part of any military faction but he does give the impression of someone battling all their years. “Stay here.” You whispered too softly but you knew he heard it based on his reaction.

“What? Are you drunk?”

“ _ Yes _ . And I’m asking you to stay.” This sounds so wrong but you’re too intoxicated to even care about appropriateness. “I was having a bad nightmare last time and.. I think I casted a healing spell on myself.”

Kaidan almost forgot the very reason they left her about a week ago. “You want me to guard you while you sleep?” She nods upon being asked. “We can share the bed like before. Er... This might be too cramped for you, though. But I won’t mind. It’s you, after all.”

Fair enough. She must have chosen him because he’s the one who sleeps the least during night among them. But he couldn’t help the slow flush creeping up on his cheeks when she blurted it out just like that.  _ ‘Don’t get funny ideas, man. There’re bigger things to watch out for.’ _ He forced himself to divert the topic as he sat at the end of her bed. They started out this way, so why the hell is he feeling strange doing it again now? No. Think of something else. Clearing his throat, he throws a question at her.

“These nightmares... What are they about?”

She was silent for a while, probably finding the right words to answer him with. “They were memories, I’m sure of it. They kept repeating. I think it’s an important one. But...” She gazes down at him as if to make sure that he hasn’t left. “The place is...  _ ruined _ . People are dead. And I keep getting an intense feeling it was because of me.” She was slurring from alcohol and weariness but her eyes are fighting to stay awake. Fighting to replay such a horrible dream.

_ “What always gets to me is that I never wanted any of it to happen.” _

At that very moment Kaidan froze. Her words echoed through his mind, intruding digging, forcibly dragging him back to his memory of what  _ they _ did in the farm. What terrible things he allowed to happen to that family. How many innocent had he left to die mercilessly in exchange for power he shouldn’t have meddled with from the very beginning? No—

“ _ No _ . Stop talking.” Kaidan takes you by surprise when he slightly raised his voice.  _ ‘Did I say something offensive?’ _ No, you might be drunk but you can still identify his tone when he’s angry. But why would he suddenly stop you without reason? “You don’t have to strain yourself trying to remember it.” That sounded like a poor excuse even for him but your slipping consciousness isn’t up for nagging right now. Finally, he lays down beside you, eyes glued on the ceiling but you can sense he’s a bit stiff. The small space is probably uncomfortable for him.

He glances at you a few times, “The hell are you staring at me for? Go to sleep.” He always sounds brash when he’s defensive about something—that’s what you wanted to point out but thought it wouldn’t be best to tease him tonight. Being in between him and a wall feels nice in this cool night, although that might send a wrong signal if you voiced it out. “Let’s talk about something else then.” You proposed, shifting your position into a comfortable one with your hands gathered under the pillow.

Dark brows rose in confusion. “We’ve been chitchatting for nights now.”

“And I still know nothing about you.” This time, he cracks a tiny smirk. You feel him relax a little, turning his head aside so you’re facing each other now. “What’s got you curious?” There’s a glimmer of amusement in his eyes which boosts your confidence.

“Hmm. What brings you to Skyrim?”

“I’ve spent a long time wandering. This is where my feet led me.”

There’s a really nasty urge inside you to make some crude joke whether said feet led him to the prison as well but you bite it down. “There’s more to it than that, surely? Haha.” Both of you laughed quietly and you’re thankful the tension’s slowly breaking. “Aye, isn’t there always?” It’s soothing to hear the warmth of his voice. Despite the heavy feeling of being drunk, you long to hear his voice some more for it somehow provided you with security.

“To own the truth, I’ve come back to Skyrim to learn something of my heritage, my bloodline.” You let him pause, “The few clues I have pointed me here but it takes time to decode. So, I’m paying my way by collecting bounties.” The swordsman explains. Lifting your head a bit, you study his features. “Huh, ‘bloodline’? I see... You don’t really look like a Nord now that you mentioned.” And he laughs at you and further goes on a bit about how he doesn’t know his or his mother’s race and that he doesn’t know if he still has any blood relative out there.

“All I have is a hunch, but I need proof.”

On your first night in the wilds he did reveal that the sword might hold some information about his mother. “Perhaps I can help you solve this? I mean once we get rid of  _ them _ .” Kaidan seemed a bit taken back by your initiative but showed appreciation for your offer. “You’d do that? I suppose I could use the help. The best clue I have is my sword, but I’m certain we can find out more in our travels.”

“So we should find a way to identify the meaning of those marks, right?”

“Right.” He reaches for your eyes and brushes his hand down on it. “Maybe we can find out about you as well. Get some rest now. I’ll make sure you don’t burn the entire place.” He speaks gently and you see him close his eyes when you peeked a bit.

It’s always nice to put him in a lighter mood. Before, it was disheartening to see him act the way he does—free of chains yet still a prisoner of his worries. Kaidan mostly spends the day brooding, but whenever he’s with you, he manages to put down his guard and just joke around even for a bit. A part of you wishes he can slowly warm up to the others as well. The other part wishes you’re the only one he can be this relaxed with. It’s odd... Being comfortable to this kind of closeness despite knowing so little about each other. But it’s not unwelcomed. If it’s Kaidan, you feel like you can always trust him. There are still a lot to smoothen out in the long run but he’s reliable. The challenges you will face will require a stronger trust with each other before it can guarantee a success. And just as he promised to protect you, so will you hopefully lessen his troubles with this plan. It won’t solve all the problems, you know this. But if it meant raising the chances of thawing that distant attitude he puts up, it’ll be all the reason you need to help him.

That night, you fell into a dreamless slumber—but not before whispering Kaidan a compliment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my friends who gave this a try. If you're reading it this far, just know I love you and you can tell me your thoughts lmao


	20. Walking Into the Lion's Den II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a land of kill or be killed. Do you really have time to question your morality? Yes and no... It's confusing. ;;;

**019**

**Walking Into the Lion's Den II**

The insides wrenched, producing a loud squelching noise as Inigo pulls out the sword from the bandit’s stomach. Blood and guts spilled out from his rounded belly. It was messy but he had no choice since the bloated idiot kept reaching for his face even after getting stabbed. He certainly has no need for additional facial scars. Are bandits this desperate to take the fight on a main road? Guards march these paths all the time—who do they think lights up these lanterns after dark? Ah, well. Guess those bandits found an opening since the last squad just passed by half an hour ago and they saw a carriage passing by unguarded. Their mistake. Carriages don’t stray far from patrols unless the client’s assured them of security. In their group’s case, their nameless companion booked a deal to Ivarstead. They’ll have to pay more and protect the carriage themselves in exchange for not waiting for patrols as they journey on, hence exposing the whole group to possible dangers, but that’s something she and the human embodiment of paranoia agreed on anyway. Inigo could only wonder what they’re planning on doing in Ivarstead.

“They will bother us no more.” He grunts.

“Don’t be so sure.” It was Rumarin. The high elf readjusts his robes and sends his weapon back to its realm before taking a seat beside their friend on the carriage. Like her, he didn’t need to get up close with bows as their weapons. Also an endless supply of magical arrows at his disposal really makes a lot of difference. Inigo checks up on Kaidan instead since they seem to be fairing well.

The swordsman met him halfway, flicking his steel to rid the blood coating it. He sure knows how to take in a beating looking at how he didn’t seem to be hurt anywhere but still managed toleave a trail of corpses behind him. The blue khajiit could only wonder how he is so fast under that heavy armor. One thing is known—Inigo will always admire his effortless and remarkable form while in battle. Kaidan displayed a certain discipline in almost every move he executed. A discipline not commonly acquired by self education. Whoever his mentor was, he taught him well and he surely learned the style as if it were his second nature.

When their coachman had calmed the horses down, he mentions his thanks and hops on the front seat. “Ah..! That one’s running away!” the nord exclaims, landing his eyes on a staggering figure making for the higher grounds. Probably as far away from the main road before a patrol arrives.

“I’ll get on it.” Kaidan and Rumarin say in unison, drawing their own bows.

“Do we have to? Leave it. Won’t she learn not to return here?” Your nonchalant objection was met with appalled faces.

It was only the carriage rider who made an effort to explain to you. “Miss, I don’t know how long you’ve been in this province but bandits here are as stubborn as the cold. They’re wild, pig-headed, unforgiving.” He goes on, slowly moving the ride to keep the running bandit in sight. “It’s best to kill them off or else that one’ll come back here with more to ambush a different group. Their next victims might not be able to fight back or even protect themselves like you lot.”

Why is this necessary? Rolling your eyes with a sigh, you hopped off the cart and lazily raise your hand to charge it with magicka. After getting a clear angle, the essence forms into a crystallized spear made of ice and you hurled it towards the person with a loud huff. The bandit gets impaled as you expected and you catch a glimpse of blood spurting out of her when she hits the tree. It’s similar to an insect getting squashed after one crushes it. She twitches weakly and— _ geez  _ is that her entrails? Life thankfully leaves her shortly after. You shrug off the disgusting image, returning to your place next to Rumarin.

“You don’t have to like it, you know. But it’s part of what we do. Ask anyone!”

“I know.” You muttered, leaning back on the wood. Kaidan would have already made a snippy comment about it but he’s quiet and acting like nothing happened.  _ ‘It’s because you used magic, dummy.’  _ Kaidan’s not an infant; he can witness a few tricks without having his spirit leave the body. But... Maybe it does bring back some bad memories in the prison. You should try to dig up something about that one of these days.

Back on present matters, you appreciate Rumarin trying to comfort you about it. But that’s not really the case. It’s just too much trouble to keep entertaining them whenever they appear as they slow down the journey. They can all go and die on some other patrol’s swords for all you care. And that’s exactly why there’s a slight fear building in you regarding the matter. How will your companions react to your apathetic views concerning others’ lives? You wish it were not so but this is how you truly feel. If it doesn’t affect your companions, you couldn’t bring yourself to care at all. You suppose that’s not how a kind or honorable person would view things, but each day it becomes more apparent that you’re not exactly in league with that sort.

Then there’s Kaidan back in his shell.

He hasn’t talked much the morning after you asked him to sleep in your bed. You wonder if the side of him that’s more open is only available during nights. Sighing is the only way you can conclude all the questions running simultaneously in your mind right now. You want to pull off this plan? You have to pull out Kaidan from his own cave first.

Your mind unconsciously wanders off to the conversation you had nights before arriving at Riften.

* * *

“Why are we running? Let’s help them! I’m the best healer in our group!”

Each word’s induced with panic and terror. Your lung almost explodes just trying to keep up with the one dragging you away. Stupidity gets the best of you and you look back to your camp in desperation, young and still filled with naive hope. A hope soon crushed when you see your people slaughtered like animals.

_ ‘Those murky red robes. I know them. Those people were in our mansion!’ _

How.

After all these years.

_ HOW? _

That encampment in the forest is completely hidden from civilization! Everyone contributed a lot in making it a new home. You were all supposed to be safe here for a long time.  _ Someone broke the rules. _ No! Doubting anyone will do no good.  _ They _ must have found a trace of your group.

You yelped loudly as you get yanked out of your ruminations.

“I told you not to look back! This one will take care of you so keep moving!”

This is.. Unusual. The khajiit. She’s wrapped in that leather armour and the hood covers her face. You can’t see what she looks like. You’re running towards where? Shouldn’t you run back to your companions? Your  _ family _ ? If you stopped running away you could save them. You could save at least one this time.

“Don’t even think about it, _____!”

What was that? You’re sure she called your name but your hearing blurred on that part.

“Even if you go back, you wouldn’t be able to save anyone because they’ll kill you first!”

_ “You can’t save anyone if you die!” _

The voice echoed, halting your movement. You looked around, searching wildly, but only finding endless numbers of trees at all directions stretching further into where you can’t figure out anymore. Where did that alarmed cry come from? The voice sounded familiar.

“My lady! Don’t stop, we must hurry away from this place. It won’t take them long to notice your absence.” She’s facing you now, but her face is—you can’t take a proper grasp of her look. It won’t or rather; it  _ refuses _ to register in your mind. Your brain won’t recognize the color of her eyes even though you’re staring right through it now. Suddenly your vision blurs, tears welled up without warning and you grab her as you let out your emotions.

“What is wrong with you, _____!?” Even the name you just spoke isn't recognizable when you try to remember it. “We could have fought them off! My presence would have made a difference!!”

“Enough of your nonsense!  _ Focus.  _ Have you already forgotten what they did to your family?! What makes you think we stand a chance?” her scratchy voice was firm and harsh but you can sense how hard she forced those words out of her.

“No!” Your protest sounded more of denial. Why be stubborn now of all times, kid? “I... I don’t...” you breathed out sob after sob, “I don’t want to always run away. Not anymore.” All the bitterness behind your words poured out like waterfalls. All your life, always like this. You can’t remember the root cause but you’ve always been on the run, always avoiding recognition, always in hiding.

The khajiit grips your shoulders tight—enough that you can almost feel the tips of her claws dig in through the sleeves of your thick fur armor. “What do you mean!?” an enraged roar escapes her; “All of them back there told this one to protect you. They all willingly faced a losing battle just so you can run away and live! Remember that!!” she yells, shaking you to listen to her words carefully. “My lady, whether  _ this destiny _ is true or not, if you have to keep running away just to live, this one will gladly put her life on the line so you may keep breathing.”

Just then her eyes widen and she shoves you away. You see a bolt of lightning hit her, sending the only living companion you have rolling back. Her blurred name echoed into this maze of a forest as you cried it out.

_ “My, my, you’ve grown. But you never learn. You’re only expanding the list of names dying for your cursed existence.” _

The moment you turned your sights on the wretched venomous growl, a strange cloud of smoke is already flying straight to your direction. But you caught sight of the hag’s vile sneer before your arms instinctively fly forward in defense of the incoming attack.

You jerk awake with a flash of white light spreading out above you like rippling water. The transparent field quickly diminishes with the full return of your consciousness. Eyes wide open and heart beating erratically. Your hands are slightly lifted above your chest, same as you positioned it in your dream. Pulling your hand back as you rose, you double checked your surroundings inside the tent. When you made sure nothing is damaged or out of place, you exhaled a relieved breath you didn’t know you were holding, whispering to yourself in the process. “Damn it... It’s becoming more and more vivid.”

Of course, having vivid dreams for a lucid dreamer like you means much. What you worry for is that you’re also a skilled mage with an arsenal of spells, ranging from helpful to disastrous, etched into your system like you were born with it. One mistake and you can end up starting a wildfire or loosing a healing spell on a shoe. The khajiit wasn’t Inigo for sure. This was completely different from the ones where you’re inside a ruined mansion. But you’re being pursued all the same. Now’s not a good time to pile in more questions. “Ha.. I should get some air...”

Stepping out quietly from your tent, the chilly evening breeze of Eastmarch greets you with a soft kiss on the cheek. The fires’ almost out, all that remains are embers but your companions, along with the carriage rider, seem to be sleeping soundly inside their own little tents. You wrap a scarf around you before sneaking towards a much more spacious area outside your camp. It’s a clear night. The stars twinkled behind the mesmerizing dance the northern auroras displayed—something you hadn’t gotten the chance to appreciate when you were knee deep in snow searching for Inigo and Kaidan.

“Kaidan...”

Speaking of which, “Please... You’re really going to give me a heart attack if you keep sneaking at me like that.” No response was heard but you feel him closing in until he stood next to you under the night sky. He didn’t disrupt your stargazing but you sense his eyes lingering on you for a while.

“Yes? Are you alright?”

The question visibly shakes him a bit, seeing that he quickly averted meeting your eyes when you turned on him. He must have already thought about your proposal earlier today.

“Hmm. I just heard you leaving your tent.”

_ Or maybe not. _

“Heard me? Really...?” He remained unfazed despite you starting to goof around. “N-no. Actually it was Inigo who heard you. But he said he’s too sleepy so he asked me to check up on how you are doing.” The red eyed swordsman confessed. Of course it was Inigo. You’ve already shown how sneaky you can be and only those blessed with enhanced hearing can tell when your foot touches the ground. “Thanks. I just wanted to get some fresh air.” You offered him a polite smile which he returned with a nod. He then starts to awkwardly excuse himself as he walked away. “I see... Well then..”

“Isn’t there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

The swordsman stops. Shoulders stiffen like a criminal caught in the act. You let him take a moment before he mustered the resolve to address his concerns.

“There’s another outpost around Helgen. There’s not much place to sneak into. If you insist on doing this, we need to draw a Justiciar or an Emissary out into the woods.” He spoke as if giving a report. “Good.” You replied, “I can scout around for targets and replacements.” You tell him, gazing back up on the sky. He’s still not confident about this proposition. But until he has anything better to come up with other than hiding for gods know how long, all he can do is keep shooting skeptic looks at you.

“ _ Replacements _ ? Hey, this isn’t going to be a two-man operation isn’t it?” He prods on. Funny. Kaidan thought he didn’t want to discuss anything about it yet but here he is. She shook her head slowly, starlight reflecting in those ocean eyes. “Then are you going to ask those two to play a part?” “I don’t wish for them to get involved.” She responds quickly. The silence between them isn’t very comfortable unlike most days. That’s because they’re waiting on each other... Or rather she’s waiting for him to say it. The person basking in moonbeam in front of him is the same one who pulled off that chaos in their prison. Of course she’s willing to play and pay. But that doesn’t mean he is mentally prepared to do the same.

“Who are you going to replace us with?”

Finally. You thought he’d never speak about the main issue here. You cross your arms, wrapping yourself to prolong the warmth. “We’ll find someone. They have to be human, of course. Should resemble our build as much as possible, too—”

“Oi. Do you hear yourself? We’re going to throw lives in exchange of ours?”

You stare at him blankly. What’s the matter with him, it’s not like he hasn’t killed before? Tilting your head in a certain manner conveyed your response perfectly.

“Aye, I don’t carry the cleanest record either but this is not how we should do it. Can’t you just flash ‘em a few tricks and be done with it?” The swordsman fought every bit of urge to raise his voice. “Isn’t there a  _ better _ way?”

By ‘better’ he meant  _ cleaner _ because his honor wouldn’t let him comply with such a deceitful tactic. Deceit is what the Dominion does best if it meant gaining them more authority and power. He doesn’t actually think you’ll abduct an innocent civilian, does he now? “We’ll have scums take our place, swordsman. It’s not that hard to find ones easy enough to fool.”

“This is different, woman. We send bandits to their deaths to  _ defend _ ourselves—”

“And tell me how is this gonna be any different?” You engage, “Whether I strike first or retaliate, the main point is killing to survive. We’re no stranger to this concept. It’s not always honorable but honor will not suffice against the Thalmor’s cunning ways.” Kaidan’s objections desired for a release in the form of words and it’s showing in his grimace but while he tries to collect it, you take the chance to state your mind. “We’re just making the first move, alright? I'd throw in a whole bandit camp in a sea of fire if it meant to keep you alive.” Cold words suddenly slipped out instead and you didn't mean it to sound like that but he clearly didn't receive it well.

_ 'Don't worry, Kaidan. You're not the only one here questioning what I just said right now.' _

He exhaled, lips tightly sealing the frustration budding inside his throat. From anger, his hardened expression melts into that of defeat. Kaidan didn’t say a word but instead, he turns around, finally putting a distance between the two of you with heavy steps and clenched fists. He’s stubborn in his own way, you respect that.

What’s gotten him on edge is that this plan you revealed to him involves using magic as a form of deception. If there’s one thing you noticed ever since travelling together, it’s that he puts a lot of weight in honest combat. Honesty is good but when you’re seconds away from dying, instincts will always rule over, and whether you use magic or not will not matter as long as it takes you away from harm’s way. Complying to such strategies probably makes him think that you’re no better than those magic abusers. This is the first time since your escape that you’ve devised a plan involving others’ lives. You understand him somehow—self defense is one thing and plotting to sacrifice someone to die in your place is another. But right now, there’ll be no use in questioning the morality of the situation. It’s either both of you or them.

As you send the night sky a final glance, you resolved it in your heart that you’re not going to lose anyone anymore.

* * *

After that exchange, Kaidan became quieter but slowly came around. Every night, the two of you met for a short discussion by the campfire. He was dubious but he heard you out nonetheless. It’s still obvious how he’s uncomfortable with fishing out individuals to take your places. He even questioned at one point if you couldn’t just keep up the illusion for the whole show. You knew it was just guilt taking over. So you explained that whoever they’ll encounter will want an ‘evidence’ to bring back when they make a report and that you can only keep the illusion up for one person. He should also take note that your illusion skills are yet to be tested. To cut things short, you’ve built a pretty solid foundation for the stage. Now all that’s left are tests, actors, and a place.

“Are you okay, my friend?”

Inigo’s calming voice pulled you out of your thoughts.  _ ‘Oh. He must be talking about the bandit.’  _ You flash him a warm smile which he gladly accepted and returned.

“You know, not all bandits wanted to end up the way they do. Some folks just can’t seem to appreciate the fruits of honest labour. Eventually greediness gets the better of those types.” Carriage riders sure know how to fill in awkward silences. Sometimes they just talk too much but it’s not unwelcomed. Travelling this vast land will be too unbearable without a bit of human interaction—unless the client is a mute, then of course understanding must pave way. Anyway, the nord rider continued to reveal his personal memories of village bullies turning to banditry, stuffed with some of his opinions about such lifestyle, “What’s sad is sometimes, few of these young people would always get rejected or thrown out of their jobs that they start thinking they’ll never find a fitting opportunity. They’d rather die like a barbarian than sit amongst those who beg in the streets. It’s a shame. In a certain perspective, they’re just fighting for survival as well.”

Isn’t that just how it is?

You wonder how many times he’d share this kind of story through all his years of being a rider. For a moment he caught everyone’s attention.  _ Everyone except Kaidan _ . Your aloof companion just sat there almost sulking as Inigo and Rumarin began to trade stories of bandit encounters. While it’s interesting to learn that Inigo used to be a bandit himself, your eyes stayed anchored at the sullen look on Kaidan’s face. Hearing those might have caused some hesitations to resurface again.

The first night on the road went smoothly. Your team stumbled upon hunters and decided to share the fire. Even managed to get a good deal from their current stocks. The next day was just as peaceful—there were more patrols and the amount of travelers and adventurers in the area tells that they’re near the humble settlement of Ivarstead.

* * *

“Okay. Will someone tell me now what she’s doing in that tent?” Rumarin quietly disturbed the peaceful dinner the three of them were having around by the fire.

Sure, he’s willing to bet half their camping gears are fenced items and of quality materials as well but how can she stay in such a place for too long?

“Guild business.” Inigo grumbles, chewing on his supper while keeping an eye out.

“She’s been there for a  _ week... _ ! How does she even sustain herself?” The altmer rarely pulls his hood off but now that he does, his widened eyes seem so much bigger. He spots Kaidan taking a swig, cleaning his sword and armor while pretending he didn’t hear him just now. “And you, too. You’ve been disappearing during the day. We don’t even know if you’re coming back.” He scoffs.

The swordsman sheathes the sword, suddenly giving Rumarin one of his mastered frowns. “I’m not a child. I sure as hell don’t need you monitoring what I do in my free time.” He snaps at him. It’s damn easy to have the tension blow up all over when Kaidan’s a participant. Inigo quickly steps in to prevent a fight but the high elf stays frustrated and retreats back to comforts of his tiny little tent.

It’s not that he’s bored or regretting his decision. He’s only a bit worried about her. And he also feels like everyone’s hiding something here.

* * *

You comfortably leaned back to the towering pile of clothes and gear, your fingers gently tapping your hip. Ivarstead’s inn is less occupied than the last time you stopped by. But still you couldn’t risk your or Kaidan’s identity. Not that you’re unwilling to act like his lover for a second time—it’ll be fun to fool around with him again, though his mood is in question. So your group set up camp somewhere on the outskirts of the settlement after resupplying. While you’re tasked with switching up official documents—or in the guild’s term, ‘paper works’, the pay will be pretty rewarding once you come back. For now, your last share should suffice for a whole month. Hunting can also earn coins.

On that side, you gotta admit it was pretty amusing to see a confirmation of both your bounties when Rumarin noticed it at the request board. Containing vague descriptions about you and Kaidan, the piece of paper signed by the Dominion gave you a perfect grasp on how much they know. Alright. You’ve got roughly less than a month to get this show on the road.

“Hmm.. This is just heart-breaking.” You quietly mused, reading the journal Inigo gave you. Once you entered your tent, you holed yourself in it for most of the days reviewing and sorting documents but somehow, you ended up distracted with Inigo’s journal wide open on your desk. The blue cat told you earlier that a journal might help keep track of things since he admits to having a bad memory due to his former skooma addiction. Oh hey, that’s actually handy.  _ ‘I should try and get a journal for myself. _ ’ Just in time, you hear someone call your name.

Waiting outside was no other than Kaidan himself. His upper garment’s laces are a bit loose and hair’s damp so he must have just finished taking a bath not long ago. He held a small basket filled with some ale and meal.

“Hey. You hungry?”

You couldn’t help but giggle, “Yeah. Famished. I’m sorry I didn’t watch the time.” You cleaned up to make some space as you invited him in. “Hold on. I have something for you.” He reaches something out of the basket and handed it over to you. “It’s Nord Warhorn. Carved from a bit of tusk.”

Brushing your hand over the item made you feel giddy. Kaidan giving a gift? Awesome!  _ ‘But... What do I need it for?’  _ As if he read your mind, he clarifies the item’s purpose. “Use it if we get separated. Not that I’ll leave your side on purpose. But if we lost each other, I’ll hear it and I’ll be able to find you.”

“Thank you, Kai. I’ll use it wisely.”

His eyes flickered with surprise at your bright smile but managed to keep it under control. Not bad, swordsman. Not bad. “Look. I’ll get straight to it.” Kaidan gets your attention when his hands left the basket in front of you. “Apologies. I know I’ve been... Absent.” But ‘absent’ doesn’t sum it up. He was missing, didn’t talked, always wandering away. You could hear Rumarin’s complaints yesterday. He was distancing himself for some reason. All that aside now, your ears are open to whatever he wants to say.

“I already made my peace with what we’re going to do so I’m doing my part. Don’t be mad that I didn’t tell you, alright? I wandered around for the past days and I think I’ve come up with something better regarding the plan.” He says and proceeds to share his thoughts with you. “You’ve been lurking around the outpost...!” you hissed, “You could have been killed. I was supposed to do it.”

Kaidan gestures for you to keep it down. “Look, just trust me on this. We get them to this place, pull off the plan, and it won’t be just us who’ll get their freedom back.”

“But you’re asking me to include those two. I’m not sure I can watch over everyone with my position in this.”

The swordsman pats your head, “They can handle themselves. Just trust them. I’ve gathered enough information to secure our safety.” He assures. “And it’ll also feel lighter if the lives we give up will free more in exchange.” You couldn’t come up with anything to say in return. It’s like your voice left you when he said that. As he excuses himself from the conversation, you’ve just received a handful of thoughts to ponder on for the rest of the night. You know you’re not a heartless murderer, but to what lengths are you willing to take when it comes to the people you care about? Is it because you don’t remember your past or have you always been this willingly selfish? The answer is shuddering to even think about. You feel bad for what you’re about to commit, but he is your priority here. A stranger or a friend. The answer is very clear. And nobody with your capabilities can keep their hands clean forever.

_ ‘No, stupid. Don’t even go there. Not now!’ _

Dammit, Kaidan. This was supposed to be a simple lure and trap tactic. But you couldn’t ignore the chance of destroying another outpost, either. This better be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo. UwU I'm absolutely ill. idk when I'll be able to update next but i just wanna say my thanks again to those who keep reading QoQ. I know I could use some tips so don't be shy to give me some if you feel it'll be useful or helpful! <3 ;w;


	21. Walking Into the Lion's Den III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the way things turned out... Who really walked into the lion's den in the end? On that note, having a powerful ally is handy. But to those who know the darker aspects power entails, someone so powerful may appear suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm throwing in Jerulith from 3DNPCs >w<  
Also if you search the names of those two Thalmor there, you might find yourself viewing an awesome quest mod. :D

**020**

**Walking into the Lion’s den III**

Unspoken tension loomed around from Helgen and over to Ivarstead—even Falkreath may be under this impression. There weren’t any obvious signs. Only those with keen observations know by the increase of posters with Thalmor seals on it that whoever they’re searching for is just around the area. Sightings of Justiciars scouting near the roads have been more and more frequent but not in any way alarming enough to bypass the Jarl’s authority, considering they’ll have the spine take action when it comes down to that. New faces would pop out of the crowd each day silently blending but searching for something... Or someone.

It didn’t used to be like this two weeks ago. From what they could gather, it all started with a rumor.

* * *

** _ Roughly three weeks ago, Falkreath... _ **

Dead Man’s Drink isn’t the most popular inn but it isn’t entirely running out of patrons either. Whether it is new or old, people always stop by this inn—named after the townspeople’s inside joke regarding Falkreath’s graveyard which also happens to be the largest one in Skyrim. Locals and tourists from Cyrodiil would normally rest here after crossing Pale Pass. However recently, most locals would come in with scowls on their faces due to another patron’s presence.

It’s not entirely that her ears are pointed to the sky or that her skin colour is of gold. It’s the fact that she’s proudly wearing Thalmor robes and unapologetically shuts down anyone who questions or disagrees with her political views that earns her spiteful comments from spineless cowards this freezing wasteland inhabits. Why she’s here is hardly anyone’s business, but for the love of Eight, she wouldn’t ask for more than to be immediately transferred back to anywhere but here as this place reeks; whether of corpses or idiots, there’s no difference for a ‘former’ member of the Aldmeri Dominion like Jerulith. Falkreath is not a bad place to go sightseeing in the meantime, given that the nords would stop nagging her for a fight she’ll obviously win.

It is natural for an innkeeper to be a hoarder of rumors and gossip but with these two nord women chit chatting by the fire pit, the owner might as well just ask the poor bard to take a break with how loud they’re cackling over their pathetic daily struggles. Not to mention, their lousy attempts of throwing snide remarks at her back is just pitiful. Even the poorest Dunmer beggar can do better.

Although granted, these blabbering hens have their uses. When whispers of two people who allegedly started the chaos in Eastmarch’s now-ruined Thalmor prison came to her hearing, she immediately got hooked. The residents have been whispering about these two gathering an independent group to take out the prison in Helgen. Jerulith immediately went to the outpost the moment she acquired and pieced together similar rumors. Whether she’s doing this for her loyalty to the Dominion or to quell her boredom is irrelevant. The rumored group’s whereabouts are still unknown but there’s no doubt that these are the same people described in the official notices.

Since then, Thalmor presence had been scattered throughout the whole of Falkreath, Helgen, and Ivarstead in small groups.

* * *

** _ Present day, Thalmor Outpost South of Helgen... _ **

Halindil’s groan echoed in his medium sized room for what felt like the hundredth time with all these mess he’s been tasked with. He almost burned the whole desk stacked up with papers and reports on various topics. If only Cyrelian and the others hadn’t grown complacent, then the Prison near Fort Amol would still be intact and he wouldn’t have the trouble of cleaning it up. There are much more important matters to attend to and his men are already stretched thin as it is with patrols and lookouts for Stormcloak rebels. But since this prison is the closest one, he had no choice but to obey his superiors and capture the culprits. Two prisoners causing an entire prison to nearly collapse and killed every elf seems a bit exaggerated but the locals will believe anything that belittles their power. The longer such rumors are circling around, the more their proud name is stomped on. Whoever those heretics are, they shall pay their crimes with blood.

“SIRE! We have a situation!”

Oronar, his second in command, runs to the study room with a map in his hands. A worn Thalmor archer tailed behind. “There have been reports of disturbances around Falkreath. My scouts have marked down the cave where we believe they’re hiding.” By the stars, finally a progress. “Very well, send a squad.” Halindil commanded. “Well? What are you standing there for, I’ve given an order.” He followed up when his underling didn’t immediately respond.

“Er... Our surviving scout here said they’ve engaged with the group. There’s about forty of them more or less. And they gathered mages as well.” Oronar reported glancing at the archer who nods in confirmation. His master pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hold in his temper. “Alright. Take the number you need here and see this through. You there,” He points at the archer, “I need Oronar to make the report, so let everyone know that he is to return alive at all costs.” Both Oronar and the archer nods in compliance as they were dismissed.

“Hey. Are you sure they were that many?” He whispered at the archer. The armored elf flinches, “Y-..Yes. Why yes. They’re well armed and prepared. Though I believe their numbers should’ve been depleted from the battle earlier. Still, we were overpowered.” His muffled voice was cracking and Oronar was a fool to brush it off as just the soldier’s exhaustion. After gathering enough for the raid, Oronar led the troop out to the marked destination. The archer then makes his way downstairs, stumbling upon one of the guards left behind. It took him several turns, looking for an alternate route, and almost an hour of waiting before he was able to access the room behind the guard who thankfully left to take a leak.

It’s the floor where they keep prisoners. He scanned the area for a cabinet and leapt in joy to find a huge chest. The items inside are probably prisoner belongings but it will have to do. The elven archer hurriedly took off his heavy metal greaves and switched it with lighter footwear. Though he’d been dying to get out of the suffocating armor he will want to keep it just in case. He raced towards _ the _ empty cell, arriving faster and quieter thanks to his new pair of boots. The archer fumbles with picking the sewer lock before it pried open.

“Ah-! _ cough... cough... _ What took you so long? I circled back _ twice _ to make sure I wasn’t waiting on the wrong place.. _ ugh _ ..” Inigo tosses his weapons first before he crawled out of the trapdoor with the help of the archer, scrunching up his face as he shakes off sewer water off him. “ _ Ack-! _ Come on. You’re really complaining? I’ve been in this junk for the whole day!” the archer takes off the helmet and returns Inigo’s frown. “Don’t even start it, Rumarin. We’re way past schedule. We should’ve already freed the prisoners... Here.” Inigo drops a small pouch. “Had to slice their heads off before they wake up. I guess whoever cleans the sleeping chambers will have a mini heart attack when they discover those bodies.” The khajiit reveals several collections of keys that could possibly open the prison doors.

“You know you didn’t have to slaughter everyone in the guards’ barracks to get this.” Rumarin picks up one. “I suppose you’ve secured our way out here?” “Don’t worry. I’m a very good archer. It would instantly blow our cover to leave corpses on the way here.” The high elf lets out a frustrated sigh. “No use in complaining now. Just remember if I die, I never wanted to be part of this.” Inigo snickers at the exasperated face Rumarin flashed him. “Have some faith in yourself, friend. She does and so do I. Shall we get moving?” They nod at each other before rising from their positions.

* * *

It’s been two days since Kaidan approached you with his plan. Surprisingly so, Kaidan sneaked in pretty far into the prison, giving you a report about the estimated count of guards stationed outside the outpost and inside leading to the basement floor.

“How on Nirn were you able to gather this much in a week?”

He shrugs at your bewilderment, “Don’t look at me like it’s a big deal. If I remove my armour and follow the sewers, it’ll lead straight to a prison cell without me making much noise.” You could only assume his time as a wandering bounty hunter is what taught him to move quietly despite his build.

“Gross!” You barked out a laugh. “If only I knew about it, I would have burned those rags right on the spot instead of scrubbing the stains out of it.”

“Wait. You _ washed _ our clothes?” Kaidan continually amazes you with his ignorance of his _ own _ garments’ condition. If you and Rumarin were to place bets on whether Kaidan can live or not with just one set of attire for a whole year, no doubt you would win. All this man cares about is cleaning his armor anyway.

“Do you think we have money to spare on clothing all the time? I washed it. Once—with the help of magic, _ obviously _. Happy? Now shut up. I’m gonna tell them the plan.”

The briefing went along smoothly. Inigo knew it was only a matter of time before you spill it. He was more than willing to input some of his opinions that he believes would further help the operation and which Kaidan was glad to reconsider. It gives you joy seeing the two of them finally getting along. Their time on the road and dungeon must have greatly boosted their impression of one another. Your swordsman was right. It was better to think and act together. You all know each other long enough to at least build some kind of trust enough for cooperation. But your witty bladebinder here seems to have some objections with his role.

“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you.” Rumarin chokes on his drink, “Did you just asked me to... _ spy-inside-a-Thalmor-outpost _ ?” the words rolled out very slowly and as clearly as he can pronounce. He scoffs out a laugh tainted with disbelief. “ _ Me _—of all of us?” Divines’ sake Rumarin, Inigo’s even willing to brave the sewer. The plan was as simple as knocking out a bandit to dress as bait, luring an agent and placing an illusion that he’d killed the culprits. It’s only because of Kaidan that the operation grew into this. “I discovered a spot ‘round the tower perfect for infiltration. Got in and out several times without a trace.” Yeah, no trace at all if one excludes the offensive stench his clothes reek afterwards. Only the unobservant would be stupid enough to miss the glimmer of pride in his tone. The next minute was spent mostly on arguing about Rumarin posing as a Thalmor soldier but much to his dismay, it’s three on one.

* * *

The burnt corpse of the bandit sat in a makeshift ‘headquarter’ you’ve built. It was hard to find a match for you, but you’ll be able to do something about it on the illusion you’ll _ weave _ for the agent. _ ‘Oil. Desk. Chairs. Some clutter. Everything’s set.’ _ You nod approvingly and took out a magicka enhancing potion. It’s an uninhabited cave spotted between the outpost and Helgen, about an hour on foot from the prison. Away from the city and further into Falkreath’s snow covered woods. It’s perfect for hiding.

Kaidan knelt behind a bush and tree, waiting for her to arrive at their hiding spot after she finished her preparations. Once he spots a familiar coat exiting the tunnel, he tightens his grip on the bow. Hopefully, it’ll just be soldiers they’re gonna deal with. She gives him a confirmation the moment she takes her position beside him.

“Tell me if it’s too much.”

“I can handle this, Kai. We got this.”

She grinned confidently at him though he kept noticing her lips tremble. Out of instinct, he reaches for her head as the swordsman ducks down on the first Thalmor he spotted. Kaidan bit back his tongue. _ ‘There’s more than ten, damn it.’ _They’re already heading towards the cave. Can they really handle that? They can always retreat and still go home with a sense of fulfilment—assuming Inigo and Rumarin succeeded in freeing the prisoners. She whispers, “Follow me, Kaidan...” But he can’t simply rely on her word just because she’s confident with her magic. He’s not. And to fuel his panic, the gods forsaken woman hurls a spell towards the group—everyone caught in the red smoke started attacking each other. “Are you mad!? Why did you-.. Oi. Where are you going?” Kaidan cautiously followed the woman as she ran towards the frenzied group. That’s when he catches the faint glow on her fingertips and the unnatural ignorance of the Justiciar mage on the ensuing chaos behind him. The swordsman wished he knew what in Oblivion is happening right now; is it time for improvisations already?

A small wave of wind brushes his cheek—something sliced through it. He was late by a second to realize an arrow had struck the soldier down to the ground. The rustling behind him signalled the arrival of their new ally. She drops down from her spot on the tree somewhere near them, bits of snow falling on the ground following her graceful landing. Long wild locks of ginger covered half of her body.

“Why are you just staring at them? Make use of those arrows.”

The tiny sneer came from a tinier wood elf. It’s far from his nameless savior’s warmer pitch. This one had a voice befitting of her stature. Not that he’d ever mention that.

_ Auri _, was it? They haven’t gotten to formally introduce themselves while cleaning up a bandit camp earlier this week. They were on their third raid, still finding a candidate while they claim the bounties on said camps when she appeared to help. She told them those bandits were scaring the food away from her place and so she decided to ‘make them her food instead’ but luckily stumbled upon them running the place down. Originally, Kaidan had strongly opposed to having her join them on the road. They’re current agenda involves a ton of discretion, not exploration. But none of them were able to deny her skills in archery. Half their enemies dropped dead by her arrows alone. Eventually, she offered her services if they let her tag along. How the nameless lady talked him into accepting the wood elf and even letting her into the plan was beyond him now. He swears that person has a silver tongue or something.

She looks like an idiot going in the middle of the chaos she caused but despite all of that, she tried to make the most out of every situation until it tips the odds to their favor. Kaidan had shared meals, stargazed, and exchanged idle conversations with that woman for almost two months now and yet they’d revealed little about themselves. Understandably, it’s due to everyone staying vigilant and pouring all their focus on the plan and daily survival. But he won’t deny that his curiosity of her actual upbringing grows deeper with each passing day.

Just what on Nirn did she honed all those skills for and why?

* * *

_ Some weeks ago... _

“Eh.. No luck. They’re all skin and bones, even a sabre cat would rather chew on a wolf.” Inigo jeered from behind the tree. Your blue friend just got back from scouting the bandit camp. Apparently they’re all dead.

“Did you find our guy?”

Inigo shakes his head with a sigh. Damn. Someone must have claimed the bounty here first. With no luck and the sun setting, Kaidan urges everyone to make camp for the night. It’s terribly exhausting _ and _unrewarding walking from city and out carrying a sack full of clothing materials just to find the job you’ve taken already completed. Inigo and Kaidan carried most of the camping gears and Rumarin, like you, was entrusted with lighter loads of cloth and hunting essentials. But getting a horse will make a lot of difference. That’s a luxury for another time, though.

Climbing to a better clearing was life draining. But it was near to the roads and just beside a stream. Setting up was easy and also the most enjoyable part—for you at least.

Pieces of woods hovered up in the air, arranging in a neat circular fashion as you let it stack one by one to build your campfire. “Would you be so kind to _ stop _ trying to turn me into your target practice with those twigs?” Rumarin whines, anxiously placing a cooking pot in front of the pit before getting hit by a thin branch. “Hey! That was uncalled for!” Words came out of you in a flat, monotonous voice, “Friend, if you keep distracting me...” your face screws up in an attempt to maintain focus, _ and Mara forgive you’re trying really hard just so you can taunt him back _, eyes firmly locked on the elevated items, “The chances of another one flying at your face will increase.”

It’s fun watching Rumarin squirm and scoot out of your sight. Shush it Rumarin, you know you enjoy it—not where he gets his face hit but—the banter, _ the banter _. It’s an unspoken agreement between you two. Maybe the reason why the swordsman accepted him is because you started pestering Rumarin more when he joined. Kaidan found the perfect person to throw in and save himself from your mischief.

Arranging the camp was your only proper excuse to train your magic for the day. Not that it needed a lot of work as you’re quite satisfied with your current limits but just as you hear Kaidan practicing his swings in the morning or Inigo shooting a stump to his heart’s content before going to sleep, so do you always find yourself not wanting to lose your magical touch. How Rumarin keeps his abilities at its peak is a mystery, though occasionally he’d volunteer to take a turn in hunting.

Kaidan had grown to _ slightly _tolerate your methods, granted that you and your spells stay the hell away from him until you’ve finished playing around. Living side by side lets one pick up hints and details about their companions even without actually asking for it. For example, Rumarin would like it more if you could get a job done without showering in blood. You know for a fact that Inigo writes songs as he would idly form phrases in his tent, unaware that you could hear him. Kaidan is a tougher one. He wouldn’t display emotions easily and carried around this air of mystery around him. But his disposition towards your magic speaks for itself. It’s not the standard mistrust Nords harbored. Kaidan’s objection towards it goes deeper—might be due to an actual experience that didn’t turn out too good for him. He’d gladly welcome your ways as a healer though.

You’ve been together for more than a month and yet it feels like ages since you actually had a conversation that didn’t involved the Thalmor or tomorrow’s plans for sustenance. Last one you had was probably way back in Riften when he slept with you. The dreams have been less haunting since then. _ ‘I haven’t thanked him properly for that.’ _

Speak of the devil, you see him arrive with Inigo, some mushrooms and fishes to feast on for the night dangling on their shoulders. After everyone had their stomachs thankful, it was time to get back on each one’s personal businesses again. You, however, decided to hang around some more with Kaidan.

You sat by the fire, finding peace in the silence.

“Not gonna write in your journal?”

“_ Gasp! ... _Have you been rifling through my stuff?” You feign surprise.

He glanced, and then shook his head lightly when he catches you grinning in a way he knew was for fooling around. “You specifically asked _ me _ to accompany you in the city when you bought it from the caravan.” He brings his attention back to cleaning his precious armor, quietly praying you’d divert your attention to anything else but him if you’re up to no good again. What a grump. Your grin grew even wider when he clearly got uncomfortable with your constant staring.

“_ Ahem... _ Did you need something?”

“No.. No. Go on. I was just enjoying your company. You’re always the last to leave the campfire so...”

“_ So... _?” He blinked and the annoyed frown disappears. He wasn’t expecting to have you around today unless it’s about going over the plans. Well. You didn’t really think about discussing something either. You just wanted to check on him today. You’ve all been so busy as of late. And though you talk about the plans almost every other day, it never felt like a real conversation or at least a light hearted banter you used to do in your first days of travelling.

“Don’t you think it’s weird? We’re the ones who journeyed together from the start and yet we’re the ones who to talk to each other the least...” You finish the sentence almost mumbling. Not thinking before you speak earned you a weird look from him. Your face suddenly heats up and you feel your eyes dart all over the place upon the assumption you said something wrong. _ ‘Look at something. Something. Anything but him.’ _You force your mind, melting in a self lit embarrassment of being unable to take back your words. You can only pray he isn’t mistaking this as an attempt to... Attempt to what? Just shut up and act normal like Rumarin advised when under humiliating situations.

He stopped attending to his armor for a few seconds now, gazing from the other side of the fire and pinning you down in a staring contest once he catches your nervous eyes.

“I’m not avoiding you or anything. We’ve got lots to prepare for and I’m simply focusing on that.”

Oh.

“Also, I didn’t really wanna talk to you.”

_ OH. _

“I-.. I beg your pardon..?” All the air in your lungs seems to have escaped and your pitifully forced laugh broke into three parts. Bafflement. Hurt. Mortification. _ ‘I want to crawl inside this log and never come out.’ _ This is new. Cruel but new. It took him several moments before he breaks—a wide smirk spreading across his face.

“By Shor, you should see your face right now.” He took his sweet time laughing, and then took your silence as his cue to speak again. “It’s no one’s fault if that’s what you’re thinking. I just didn’t want to talk to you until this is over.” You blink once. Twice. Fingers fidgeting before you regained your confidence. “But why not?”

“Cuz I talk too much when it’s with you.”

“But you’re the one revealing voluntarily..”

“_ Exactly _.”

She regards him with confusion. “You don’t want me to know about you?”

Silence. That’s what he’ll give. That’s what he convinces himself to do. But when she awkwardly planted herself on that spot like she needed his dismissal before she can go, he unconsciously opened his mouth.

“I’d feel less uncomfortable if I knew something about you in return, too. But that’s not how it really works, doesn’t it?” He admitted as he began to get back to his work. “You always learn something about me yet I can’t pick up a single thing from you when you don’t even remember anything. Seems a bit unfair to me. _ Tsk _, I’m not the only one curious ‘bout the people they travel with, y’know.”

He could slightly see her making a painfully long nod, mouthing the words ‘I see’ and he already knew she’s about to crack something silly.

“I didn’t know you were curious about me.” She chuckles, blushing lightly.

What did he say—he does speak too much. That’s another piece of information he can’t take back from her. Another information he let slip by his tongue just to see how she’d react.

“Kaidan...” She’d always call him with warm welcome and care. And he was starting to like it. “Let’s get to know each other properly after this.” She whispered almost akin to how one would wish in a temple. He met her eyes for only a brief moment, but he swears that shy smile of hers would be enough to illuminate the place better than a mage’s spell. No words needed. Just a silent nod which she thanked him for.

They sat by the fire, finding peace in the silence together_ . _

* * *

Fire razed the frozen walls of the cave, burning everything up into a crisp. Spikes, beds, furniture, documents. And Kaidan. Not even his armor could protect him from the wrathful flames of the Thalmor mage. He sneered at the swordsman’s pathetic existence, mocking his futile attempts to extinguish himself. It’s no use. His skin’s already ablaze and his false god can’t save him. The swordsman bellowed in anguish, violently tearing away his armor in panic but that only caused him to catch more fire. Pathetic weakling. Oronar’s squad might have walked into an ambush but all his men are holding them off. The Justiciar roared victoriously as he deliver justice for his fallen brethren and bring glory once more to their cause. This pesky human and his deceased companion should be burned out of history. He’ll save this man for evidence, though. Yes. A skull should suffice for Halindil.

_ “... You.. Should check... Your prison...” _

The elf scowls, the human’s plan suddenly coming to light. How dare he make a fool out of him! Oronar unleashes a stream of pure fire to the filth in front of him, forcing the mongrel down on his knees as his dying screams filled this melting cave.

.....

...

..

At least that’s what you’re making the high elf visualize.

You stood several steps behind the dreaming Justiciar. Magic radiated from your hands. This proved to be so much trickier than just putting up a disguise for yourself. _ ‘It works is all that matters for now.’ _The clashing outside have stopped for about a minute now. Very carefully you manipulate him to turn around and you follow him outside.

Fallen soldiers littered the field, by arrow or by sword; it matters not as long as they’re all dead. By now, you should be at least familiar with the invading stench of blood soaked soil but the amount spilled here makes you sick. Kaidan was the first one you spot. He wanted to approach you but stopped shortly after seeing the Justiciar is still under your spell. Your newest companion, Auri, stood ready from a distance, bow and arrow ready to fire at your behest. Without a word, you gestured them to zip it as well and tiptoe to your side. They do so with haste as three of you furthered your distance from the scene. Raising your arms, they stop, and you whisper in the faintest audible sound you can produce; “_ Keep... Quiet...” _

He nocked an arrow just in case as he took a stand behind her. His vision quickly catches the glow on her raised palms flicker and he froze, thinking her mana’s gonna run out. The idle Justiciar suddenly spins around, a foul expression washing over his face as he shakes the corpses. He looks around, searching all directions for survivors. Kaidan watched as the Thalmor gains full control of himself except for one thing—twice he passed their direction, twice he ignored them. The bastard _ can’t _see them.

_ ‘Is this her doing?’ _

Kaidan swallowed back the growl surfacing in his throat. This isn’t part of the plan. What the hell is she thinking? The wizard stayed for a short while, investigating the place and following a certain spot on the ground for footsteps which aren’t there. Must be part of an illusion he’s seeing. Without another moment to spare, the Thalmor rushes back to the direction of the prison. It was only after he saw the light on her hand completely vanish that he allowed himself to breathe easy.

“I didn’t expect you to be this skilled." Auri was the first to break the ice. The lady had this face that says she wasn’t anticipating a praise at all.

She lifts a part of her coat and showed them a fairly large empty bottle, “A ‘boost’.” She says, “Chugged the damn thing down like water. Worked pretty great didn’t it? I might visit that alchemist again.”

In truth, Kaidan knew by the way her breath shook and voice faltered that what she just did was no easy feat for her. She made a gamble. She endangered them, the operation itself—the one she relentlessly pleaded them to cooperate with for Oblivion’s sake! _ ‘No! That’s not it. She knew what’s at stake. She has at least some confidence of her chances.’ _ He debated internally. But why the hell does she look like she’d seen the void, then? He couldn’t stand still at this point. A bounty hunter like him? Yeah right. Why would a person equipped with a myriad of expertise resort to thievery and meager rewards? No sane person will sharpen their skills to such an extent without purpose—if they don’t dig up her information some more, a catastrophe might hit them blind and they wouldn’t even stand a chance against it. She’s got a lot of trouble awaiting her. And he’s got a lot of questions.

The swordsman grabs her arm, interrupting the two as he twists her to his direction, eyes burning with curiosity.

“Who are you, really?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance guys. I might take a short break. My grandma just died and there are just some stuff to sort out for her funeral. I haven't seen my mom in a long time due to her staying with granny at the hospital for months and I wanted to spend time with family now that everyone's back.
> 
> Again, to those who stuck with, subscribed, viewed, commented, complimented this fanfic, I am forever grateful. My work is no way near a professional's (or an amateur for that matter haha) but I write all of these out of love. Hopefully I made some of you smile even just for a second.
> 
> Special thanks to people in the Friends of Inigo (fb group), they are always so full of creativity, passion, and friendliness when sharing their drabbles/fanfic that I've been moved to create my own as well. With hope, Mr. Gary, Mr. Joseph, Merrigan, Mr. Kris, and other mod authors can see how their mod companions have continuously made Skyrim a lively place when they see fanfics dedicated to said characters. :-) Sorry for long post haha! Cheers! xoxo


	22. Well Rested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the mission, the group earns their break. Keeping the coin flowing is nice, but taking a rest wouldn't hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe I found some free time. I hope you enjoy. :)

**021**

**Well Rested**

“Get up. _ Oi! _”

The bells rang noisily, causing the young lad to pull his body up, still half asleep. A lazy hand rubs his eyes as if it were a programmed response before he could make sense of his surroundings. Several bottles of mead cluttered his bedroll and with a still throbbing headache, his ears pointed him to the man outside his little tent.

“Brynjar?”

The drunken old nord kept hitting the end of the cooking pot which Kaidan mistook for bells earlier. Right. No way the city will be heard this far out in the woods. His old man stops upon sighting the mess around the young man and his eyes flares up.

“W-.. Why you!” Brynjar lowers his body to get a better view, “You drank ‘em all you little bastard?!” he scolded but didn’t make a move against Kaidan. “Get your ass here, lad! Do I look like I’m getting any younger!?” True, the dark haired teen didn’t simply stop upon reaching his final bottle, his smug grin implied he ain’t a least bit ashamed for scrounging through Brynjar’s stash, too.

“Aye... See if you can keep that grin up when I hit you instead of this damn pot.” His old man grumbles menacingly under that disheveled beard.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Kaidan ties his hair in a lousy bun as he crawls out of his tent. He should get it cut soon. His eyes flutter, adjusting from the glaring rays peeking through the gaps in between trees. “What’s gotten in your nerves all of a sudden?”

Brynjar snorts out loud, his bedroll already packed and ready. “Some wench I saved from bandits ratted me out. Kept talking ‘bout m’skills and all that. Now the entire village knows it’s me.”

Kaidan raises his shoulders in question. He didn’t understand. “What’s wrong with that, eh? It’s not like they’re over glorifying you.” Brynjar had already folded over the boy’s tent by the time he finished his sentence. A skill he’d pick up as well over the years of never settling down in one place.

The rattled man was too busy wrapping the place up, Kaidan had to call him once more before he snaps to the boy’s direction. “What in Tamriel do you not understand? Soon the word will reach the city and I don’t like being identified-“

“But what’s wrong with a little recognition?”

“A _ little _ is enough to attract attention of enemies I made throughout my whole life, lad.”

“Pah! Your skills are nearly unmatched!” Kaidan exclaims as he carries his own pack. “Who in the right mind would challenge a veteran like you, eh?”

Brynjar ties the last of their baggage up in a huge sack and walks over to the red eyed teen. “You’re sixteen, not a child. Try not to ask stupid questions, lad.” He places a heavy hand on Kaidan’s shoulder. “Powers have repercussions. The stronger one gets the bigger enemies they create. Get that in your brain or you’ll end up dead in a blade of an enemy you underestimated.”

A week later, Brynjar received word of Thalmor Justiciars appearing on the village they were camping near at before they left. Not that Kaidan understood what it has to do with his mentor back then.

* * *

“Who are you, really?” Kaidan raises a question out of the blue. He had a tight grip on your arm and caution swirled in those crimson beads.

“W..what? Kaidan.. My arm..” Unsure and taken by surprise, you shot Auri a confused look only to have it mirrored back at you.

“Tell me who you are. Don’t you still recall anything ‘bout you?” His voice was low, unhostile but enough to make you nervous.

“Kai, is something wrong? _ Ah— _We can discuss this later..” You winced, pulling away. “Hey.. It hurts-“

A gloved hand breaks your contact and both of you jump back in surprise by Inigo’s sudden appearance. He’s got an equally displeased expression as he looked at the swordsman. “Why are you being unnecessarily aggressive to our friend?” there was more disappointment in it rather than accusation. He must have been around when Kaidan did it. Which means—

_ “Oblivion’s sake, why would you run ahead like that?” _Only one high elf possesses such an unmistakable whining and he’s heading towards you. Rumarin joins to complete your circle, squeezing his ‘junk-free’ self between you and Inigo. He greets Auri who’s standing at your right side with a nod.

“I didn’t mean anything by it—I was just alarmed by the scope of her power. You’ve seen it; doesn’t it concern you a bit?”

“My friend, you didn’t have to snap at her like that.”

“Shouldn’t you be relieved that your friend is very capable?”

Even Auri’s putting out a piece of her mind right there. Rumarin observed their tones without a clue on why they’re in a disagreement. Did somebody screwed up? The nameless human appears to be too nervous to butt in so he takes the initiative. “What is this? Why are you at each other’s throats?” They weren’t really, but they’ll soon be if one of them doesn’t back off. Inigo scratches the back of his ears, giving him a brief explanation to fill him in. So Kaidan’s simply pointing out the obvious.

“He has a point, though. I agree with Kaidan.”

Everyone including Kaidan had eyes bigger than moons when he said that. The high elf clears his throat, “I mean... One of the reasons high elves turn to magic sooner or later is our ever present resistance to it.” He then points to the centre of their debate. “This weirdo here easily got a Thalmor under her spell. Several times she’d proven herself an adept not just in physical combat but in various schools of magic, too.”

“Then do you think she’s a danger to us because of that?” Inigo’s face is saddening to look at so he averts his gaze and shrugs. “I’m just stating the facts. Someone needs to find out why she’s ridiculously powerful. I’m not antagonizing her.”

“So am I.” Kaidan nods, “I never said she’s a threat. Point was if she’s _ this _powerful then, there might be a bigger threat and it may not even wait for her to remember things.”

“Isn’t that why we’re here? Why _ you’re _here?” Auri’s pretty outspoken despite being a newcomer. “You’ve sworn to protect her, yes?” Rumarin is still getting used to such a chirpy little voice. It’s like listening to a talking squirrel. Her height doesn’t help dispel this impression, too.

Kaidan looked slightly offended but brushed her off politely. “Of course I’ll protect her no matter what. I’m not going back on my word.”

“So stop being paranoid, friend. I’m sure she wants answers, too. We’ll face these challenges together.” Inigo shares the bosmer’s sentiments. “I personally think there’s a fine line between paranoia and being cautious. Let’s not mix the two.” It’s a rare occurrence but Rumarin finds himself agreeing with Kaidan this time around. Auri is new, so her opinion on the lady hardly has any solid basis yet. Of course she’ll agree with her. Inigo is in a ride-or-die bond with the lady and while Rumarin himself and Kaidan would love to have such a laidback attitude, someone has to stay vigilant of possible dangers. This lady with talents fit for a mage instructor is more trouble than what she looks or remembers for that matter. She might be a rogue soldier or a ranking member of a military faction given her physical tenacity and fighting instincts. It’s not a bad thing to partner up with trained people in adventures but why is it that he and Kaidan are the only ones finding her suspiciously overpowered?

“Well... Why not ask her what she wants? She’s been quiet for some time now.”

Auri’s comment leashes you down to reality. The air had immensely grown tense in just the span of a few moments. The corpse filled scenery, the fatigue from using a lot of magic, it doesn’t help you function—you mentally checked out in a bubble of your own the moment they started bickering about you. Even when you tried not to pay attention, just hearing their tone against each other causes you to sink where you stood and suffer an intense heat flaring up from your neck to your ears. _ ‘Are they fighting because of me? What did I do wrong?’ _Not even a calming spell would ease the pounding reverberating through every single joint in your body. Now all eyes are on you and you’ve no clue how to break the anxiousness that erupted when you’re still dealing with your own. Your eyes stayed anchored to their feet as your fingers meet at the bottom of your stomach, rubbing together in a feeble attempt to soothe your nerves. It’s a very common thing you notice your body does when you’re feeling pressured. Your shoulders jolted when you hear Kaidan call you another time.

“S-S...Sorry..I.. I-“ You swallowed hard. The cold must have gotten under your skin for you are trembling from mouth to fingertips. Why now of all times did your brain decided it’s a perfect time to stammer? You inhaled sharply, unable to meet anyone’s eyes, and with a small voice you let the words fall out, “I-I don’t have answers yet. Sorry...” Idle hands move up to cover the lower half of your face. You don’t know why you did it but your face kept burning up the more you feel them gazing at whatever expression you’re making. If that wasn’t mortifying enough, your eyes started getting misty and you could almost tell how uncomfortable this situation has turned out for everyone.

“WATER!” Rumarin waves his hands dramatically, forcing all eyes on him. “I... Want a drink. I’m parched.” Those emotionless eyes say otherwise but Kaidan’s thankful for the distraction anyway. When did he become so easily carried away? This kind of behaviour can’t be excused forever. Everyone’s got some kind of problem they’re struggling with every day. Whatever it is he’s having a hard time understanding, it’s not reason enough for him to take it out on her like this. He has to make an active effort in realigning his mentality just like she and Inigo does. The armor clinked quietly as he shrugged his shoulders. Kaidan promptly apologizes to the lady and Inigo.

“Apologies. I didn’t know what came over me. I was just...” Worried. Intimidated. Skeptic. All of those things. “I hope I didn’t offend.” He sighs and pats her shoulder instead. Tiny slender fingers touch his and replace them on the lady’s shoulder as Auri pulls her away from his grasp. “Instead of words, why don’t you apologize with actions, hm?” The bosmer challenges him with the slight tilt of her head. “How about you buy her a drink.” This midget knows how to stir things up. “Fine,” He’s snorts, “Once we’re clear to hang around the city. First round’s on me.” Companionship is a strange thing. He didn’t expect he’d have his name cleared by people he hardly knew. People who owe him nothing. And he certainly didn’t expect to feel a spark of joy when he saw the four of them grinning like the idiots they are.

* * *

_ Thwack! _

Missed. Take a breath, you can do this. Inhale. Exhale. Listen to the wind in this peaceful forest. Let it guide you and...

_ Thwack! _

You missed again. Inigo sniggers behind you. “I am not boasting my friend, but I would have caught us a basketful of fishes already by this time.” “You are mean.” Soft laughter circled between the two of you as you hunt today’s food by the river. Thinking you need some skills to better hone other than your magic, you volunteered to accompany Inigo and hopefully learn little by little from him. “I do not wish you harm but the truth does hurt sometimes.”

_ Thwack! _

Inigo suppresses his laughter but failed miserably when your arrow bounced off the stones in the river once more. But seeing the rising sun, he gently calls your back. “Let’s try again another time, what do you say?” Your shoulders slumped despite giving him a smile. “I say, I wish the truth hurt the fishes instead.” The two of you kept beaming at each other until the tiny basket has been filled.

Roughly a week has passed after the success with the plan. Your whole group took that time to cool off in the wilderness. There weren’t much to talk about, save for the light banters that occur during mealtime. Auri and Rumarin had used the break to get properly acquainted whenever they fetch items from the city. Kaidan, Inigo, and you settled resting most of the time inside your tents or practicing somewhere not far off from camp. You’d give your companions polite greetings but you’ve yet to actually sit down and trade stories with them. That potion took more toll than you expected but it did the job. Kaidan is still quiet, but he’s noticeably carrying a lighter mood. Instead of a nod, he’ll try to greet back or give you guys a small and swift curl of his lips which you could safely assume for a smile. For the first time, you see him attempting to be friendly in his own way.

Perhaps your efforts paid off?

Everyone in the cities and even the guards had talked about it non-stop. The ambush outside the cave; the infiltration that left half the guards in the prison dead. Who would have thought you’d hit multiple birds with one stone when you picked up those guild tasks? You successfully dealt with all the ‘paper works’ and spread some rumors while you’re at it, resulting with the Thalmor completely playing into your scheme. Mercer had better be damn impressed when you get back with this news. The officer in charge of the outpost is placed under heavy criticism by both the Dominion and Empire itself. As it turns out, most of the people they’ve imprisoned have been arrested largely by rumors and false information only. With little left to testify against this, the matter has been moved to be further investigated and given decision back at Summerset Isle, the homeland of the Aldmeri Dominion. That’s all Auri and Inigo have gathered but the result afterward couldn’t be more exhilarating. Even with the supposed culprit for the Eastmarch and Helgen prisons brought to justice, the department in Helgen had violated the White Gold Concordat— the treaty that allows them to freely operate in Skyrim—by imprisoning people without solid proof to show for it. The Thalmor had officially seceded from the Helgen outpost for Imperial troops to replace them.

Kaidan had enlightened you a bit with the current political climate to the best of his understanding. If you’re following him right, what transpired in the said outpost is a very open matter with many witnesses. It appears that the Dominion is simply doing this to avoid additional scandal in the public eye. Letting their Justiciars play the guilty and planting their Imperial puppets will still grant them access to intel, keeping their influence over the area as much as possible without crossing the law. Many people will get a whiff of this scheme later on but they’d rather have it this way than seeing those sons of whores roam their lands. Frankly, that would be better for now as well, considering your group plans to stay here for a while.

It’s already spring time. Some of the snow had melted over and while some persists in this northern province, Falkreath welcomes the season with budding flowers and blossoming trees. It goes perfectly for most of everyone’s attire. Not too cold, not too hot. Although lending Auri a coat has crossed your mind a few times. The wood elf tends to dress very lightly given her way of life before arriving in Skyrim. “We can save the money to get a steed instead by the end of this or next month.” You happily discuss with Inigo while walking back to the camp; both baskets full with fresh catch.

“Do you have a destination in mind?” he asks. “No. But I want to help Kaidan once he resumes searching for clues to his past.”

“Is this about the strange marks on his sword?” the blue cat munches on some snowberries you picked up on the way. You nod, “You sure you haven’t come across anything like it back in Cyrodiil?” Inigo shrugs apologetically and you puff. “Shame. I guess we can drop by a library.” A pause, then you chirped “Can we stay here for a few more days, though? Just to avoid suspicion. I’ll keep practicing archery, too. Then we can head to Falkreath’s right away.”

Inigo welcomes the idea and expresses his fondness of living outside the cities. “It is nice in our little camp. But I notice you’ve been setting your tent further from everyone lately. Is something wrong?” His ears twitched with curiosity. You’re not surprised at all when he points this out. He seems to be more sensitive to your actions than the others. Though Kaidan tends to be most observant like him—just differently.

You slowed down on your tracks, “Inigo, please don’t say a word about this.” He matches your pace, intending to prolong the conversation all while understanding it has to be out of your friends’ earshot. “I can’t confirm this to Kaidan and I don’t want to alarm the rest either but... I think I’ve been experiencing flashbacks in my dreams more often. It’s not strong but I’m afraid I’ll harm someone in my sleep.” Your eyes stray away from his golden ones. “And I think he’s right. I think I have an enemy out there.” It wasn’t just the potion that’s been causing you to feel mentally taxed but also the disturbances in your dreams. “Just a hunch, though it keeps bugging me.” Nothing new had appeared but it’s not something you can just simply brush off.

“Are you sure it isn’t just a bad dream my friend? I hope you do not beat yourself over it.”

You offer him a tight smile, “I won’t. That’s why I’m diverting my attention to helping him instead. But... Some nights it does worry me.”

“Hey. You can always trust me to help. I’m with you, my friend! Whatever you decide, I’ll have your back.” He beamed. Divines know it’s hard not to do the same whenever he confirms his unwavering support for you. How you earned such a faithful friend is beyond a mystery itself but you’re eternally grateful for Inigo’s companionship. He does know how to lift your spirits up without feeding you false hopes.

* * *

** _ Three days later... _ **

Rumarin had been busy toying with a conjured dagger when he catches a hulking figure pass by him. He shuffles from his spot in front of the fire he’s been preparing and called. “Swordsman, how many times do I have to tell you, leave that job to her. Use your strength somewhere else.” A pair of blonde brows creases together at the sight of Kaidan hauling a sack of wet clothes towards two sticks erected on the ground. It had served as a makeshift clothes hanger since they picked this long forgotten Nordic tower as a spot to lay low. It’s far and elevated enough to be hidden from the roads and the gracious Spriggan host is now serving as feet warmer within their campfire—talk about hospitality. ‘Course these things he won’t verbalize around the bosmer, lest Auri burns a hole through his face with that sharp glare of hers. See, he found out the harsh way about her following the Green Pact this far out from Valenwood. But that’s a story for another day.

“What d’ya mean? _ ‘Her’ _ her?” The raven haired man hollers back, hanging his clothes dry.

“Now you just sound lame. Of course, of course... There’s more than one woman in this ride now.” The high elf tilts his head back and rests it on the log to stop his hood from falling off. He catches a glimpse of the red headed wood elf fidgeting with something under the shade of the tree. Glancing around and finding empty tents reminded him of the lady and her cat’s hunting duties. Ugh. They’ve been here for more than a week. They should’ve kept taking bounty jobs to keep the money flowing. Although having a vacation after a stressful event isn’t so bad either. “Hey Auri, she’s not back yet so why don’t you help around with Kaidan?” He calls out. Her ears twitched and he instantly regrets disturbing her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Have I not been skinning enough rabbits for you to munch on while you warm your feet by the fire and let the rest of us maintain the place?” Auri rolls her eyes and goes back to skinning the animal. “There’s nothing to maintain here, though?” He defends. Kaidan scoffs loudly, “Says you who don’t mind sleeping on a hill of garbage.” “I don’t know why it should be any of your concern how I arrange my clothes. At least I don’t carry around those clunky pile of metal junk you call an armor..”

He turns at Rumarin, eyebrows raised with scrutiny written all over his face. “You have the least amount of belongings here yet your tent is a damn disaster. Why haven’t you started packing up anyway?” The altmer springs up from his comfy spot and stares blankly at him. _ ‘I told them he was asleep when they were discussing it but did they listen to me?’ _Kaidan chuckles lightly and explained that everyone’s agreed to head to Falkreath by afternoon. They’ll resupply there first before resuming their adventures. That horse won’t just buy itself for them, after all. Just in time he sees Inigo and their lady friend emerging around the corner.

Lunch was blessedly filling—it will last them enough until they reach the city. Casual banters had been more lively, thanks to Rumarin’s excitement. Kaidan chimed in twice or thrice and he admits it’s pretty entertaining. After their success, he decided to drop his guard down a bit around these people. They deserve that much at least. He notes one of the tents had been set apart from theirs but after his employer assured him it was nothing to be worried about, he dropped the matter. As long as she says so, he’ll do his best to have faith in it. That’s a new goal he plans to follow ever since that day in front of the cave.

Kaidan couldn’t find it in himself to fully rely on a mage. Certainly ones with an astounding capability in various fields yet have little memory of what she got them for. But time and time again she proved herself to be good natured—or at least she’s trying to for them. It’s true she’s a bit apathetic to strangers but so are many people. In an environment like theirs, nobody can afford to care for everyone. The part of him that still holds on to honor may not want to hear it but he shares the same mentality. Also, they keep saving each other by the end of the day after all. No doubt they will continue to do so should another trouble finds their way.

It’s not as bad as he’d expect. She’s tolerant and extremely patient with all of them. Despite their claims to be ‘under her service’ she never treats them as such. He can’t say he approves _ all _ her methods, but she always keeps an open ear for them and can be reasoned with. She’s a bit timid but the way she looks out for everyone gives him an impression that she’s used to travelling with a group. _ ‘Maybe she had one...’ _Wait a second. That’s right. Now that they’re free to roam again, both of them can dig up their pasts with fewer restraints.

“Hey—!”

The swordsman jolted at the familiar voice. He looks ahead and noticed he’d already fallen behind the group. Getting lost in thoughts can lead to actually getting lost in the roads, just like his mentor taught him when he was young. But he has companions now to thank for. “Are you alright?” His employer peeked at him from under her dark hood. He gestures for them to move along but the lady waits for him. “It’s nothing. Was just thinking idly.” He replies, walking by her side as they lagged behind.

“I’m planning on browsing for books in the city. Do you have any plans? If not, you can come with me.” She offers him, “I wanted to check if there’s something I can find about the marks on your blade.”

“I’m grateful for the help but shouldn’t you be researching about your memory problem, too?”

“Don’t be silly, Kai. That’s part of it. But I’m more curious about yours as of the moment. You’ve got a clue already and I only have...” She holds her breath; not due to a loss for words. Rather, she stopped herself from saying what it is. Before he could point it out, she had her words found again. “I’d like to hear more about you now. Save your travel experiences for another time! I want to hear about _ your _ life story.” She cheerily mused.

“Oh? You’re curious about me?” His eyelids lower, suddenly feeling cheeky. “That makes us curious about each other.” He teased with just a tiny twinge of boldness in his tone. He couldn’t stop himself from grabbing the opportunity to get even. It was definitely worth it to see her suddenly flushed like an apple.

“H-..hee.. Hehe I guess..? _ Ahem _ . But you don’t have to share right away. You can tell me later on.. If.. If you feel like it..” She pretended to miss his suggestive tone and turned her head away until she gathered a bit of composure again. “I mean... I was hoping to understand you better.. Since I’m having a hard time figuring you out.” He could see her from the corner of his eyes tugging the hood to cover her face further. Kaidan exhaled noisily through his nose. “Have I ever mentioned I feel the same about you? I still remember what you said to me by the fire..” He stops and pulls her hood down, earning him a cute little yelp. _ Cute? _ When the hell did he ever start thinking like that? But it is kinda...

“Hey..! What is it now?” Gloved hands instinctively rise to block away the sun—but mostly her flustered expression. Now that face brings him a sense of small victory. He pats her head, careful of his gauntlet not to brush her skin, and gently tilts her head up to meet a pair of eyes that reminds him of the sea.

“How about we get to know each other starting now?” he leans a little closer and grins, relishing the dominance he holds in this setting.

Despite the increasing shade of red on her face, she still manages to amuse him with such a silly response. “Yeah...? How about you buy me _ that _ drink first?”

_ “You two might want to get a room!” _

Rumarin yelled impatiently, breaking their playful banter like thunder to the ground. “Or you might want to be generous enough to share.” Auri and Inigo exchanged looks before giggling on their own and Kaidan didn’t even have time to get defensive when he finds his thieving companion already halfway to wrapping her hands around Rumarin's neck.

* * *

_ ‘Dead Man’s Drink is pretty rowdy tonight. Would you look at that one—is that ringmail armour? So cool...’ _ You thought to yourself as your eyes wandered the inn, admiring its lively patrons. _ “Oh.. That was looking at me just now! He looked nervous. I wonder if my style makes me look intimidating.. Heh.’ _ There are no fancy decorations, no adornments on either pillars or walls, no luxurious menus sold by the innkeeper. It’s as common as any inn you’ve stumbled in with the exception of a bard who absolutely got his audience entranced and filled with merriment. The smell of beef stew and fresh wine permeating the air puts you in an equally buoyant mood as well. Falkreath’s main city is a common stop for adventurers especially those who come from Cyrodiil. It’s fairly easy to distinguish the locals from the visitors just by their apparel. _ Perfect _. There will be no need to conceal your weapons. Almost everyone here wears travel garbs or armors, letting you and your companions blend in without question. Most of the adventuring sort and tourists have booked to stay the night, hence the busy and lively atmosphere. Your group is lucky enough to avail a family sized room good for four people. Well... See here—

“There’re five of us.” You breathed out, breaking the silence in the round table. “That’s easy.” Rumarin drums his fingers on the table and ends with a clap, “One sleeps on the ground. Volunteers? I’ll take the one next to the end table, by the way.”

“Ooh, how about we fight on that.” Auri’s large eyes shimmer with excitement, taking her seat beside you. “Fighting to get a bed, are you delirious? Aren’t you entertained enough by those two drunkards brawling over there?” the high elf chided.

An idea pops in and you lean forward, propping on your elbow. “Kaidan’s paying our drinks, isn’t that right?” your tone oozed with challenge as you send the surprised swordsman a smug look. Getting your revenge in the form of free drinks are most welcome. “First one to fall off their chair will win the sweet spot on the floorboards!” A crooked grin couldn’t help but grace your lips as myriad of reactions flash across their faces on your declaration.

“My friend, are you sure this is how we should settle it?”

“Oi, I’ll only pay for the first round...”

“What’s wrong Inigo, can’t handle a little booze?”

“I’d prefer some Rotmeth over that bland mead but I won’t be picky since it’s free.”

“...I said I’m only paying for this rou—”

“Barkeeper! Yes... Do kindly serve us something strong! I want to forget I’m sitting with a bunch of paupers.”

“Hmm. This bosmer might as well make the most of it since he’s paying... _ Ah, _ now this is refreshing.”

“Nothing like good drinking before getting back to work.”

“I—“

“_ CHEERS TO EVERYONE!! _”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a bit of break from action and get to know the others. :3


	23. A Scholar on Expedition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon arriving in Falkreath, they meet a young scholar before they resume business. The man offers them a simple body guarding job, paying them a generous amount to... follow them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gooooooooooooo Team Dragonborn! <3 :D :D :D

**022**

**A Scholar on Expedition**

Another curse had been muttered with no one sober enough to hear it but only him. Kaidan heaved a deep groan, tossing Rumarin’s drunken ass onto the occupied bed. Funny how he’s always the first to hit it and the last to leave the next day. Inigo’s still awake beside him, just too banged up to gather his wits. The swordsman looked around the spacious room. The bed meant for children only had one little wood elf sleeping on it. Auri buries her face in a black leather coat serving as additional cover for warmth but the one who owns it appears to be missing _ . ‘She must be cleaning up outside.’  _ He thought about squeezing in beside one of them but then again, seeing as his options are either a snoring elf or a khajiit who willingly inhabits fleas, he’d rather not.  _ ‘Damn. They really drank their way down to my last septim.’  _ He lets out a frustrated sigh,  _ ‘I’m not sleeping on either bed anyway, I better check out on her.’ _

Heading out to the common room where they were previously seated, he spots a younger looking man standing by her table, seemingly nervous, while she drinks and chuckles at something he just said. He wore a set of fine robes, short blonde hair neatly combed back, and is armed with only but a common steel sword. A tourist then. Definitely not a fighter by the looks of his build or he would’ve taken a better choice for a weapon instead of a dull blade like that. What’s she doing with the poor lad now? Can’t she see his knees are about to give in? By Talos, they’ll get thrown outta here if she starts picking on other visitors. Kaidan strides towards them and calls her, startling the stranger.

“ _ Aah! _ ... I’m sorry..!” The man reflexively jumps back at Kaidan’s arrival, sounding apologetic as he sends the red eyed traveller a fleeting glance before he swings his attention back towards the lady. “I-I.. err.. Have a good night and.. and if you have the time..” the fellow turns red as he fights his stammering. “Tomorrow... maybe. Uhm.. Please consider!” He then rushes into one of the rooms upstairs. Kaidan cocked his brow questioningly at the woman lounging on the chair as if it was a throne. She quietly smiles at him, too wasted and dim-witted to pick up his voiceless cue. He should just let this go but he sighs yet again, “What’s that about?” tipping his head to the stranger’s direction. She blinks, slowly following the direction and blinks again; making it painfully obvious how slow her brain is processing his question. “Oh that...” She muses, an adoring expression gracing her features. “He’s funny..” She giggles, “Walked over ‘ere and,” she re-enacts with lazy effort, picking up a posh high tone, “ _ ‘Scuse me madam-.. Have you got a moment to talk?’  _ hehehe.. so silly.” Now that’s how people born and raised with wealth and nobility sounds like. This is the second time Kaidan hear her ‘imitation’ and he almost sobers up in shock from how flawlessly natural it is. “Said he has something to say.. or whatever.. but boy he kept stutterin’ when I batted my eyes.. so cute.” Throwing her head back up, drunken fits of laughter erupts from her.

“Alright. That’s enough for you.” Kaidan, not wanting to spend his remaining consciousness entertaining this  _ woozy  _ creature, scoops her up in his arms while he still has the strength. For once, he was thankful he unequipped the armor before going back out here. Guiding his limping companion back to the room was his last good deed for the day. Kaidan was finally able to sigh, this time out of relief, when she obediently stays put on the bed beside Auri. Everyone is asleep now except for him. Kaidan trudges to lock the door, light some candles, pull out a bedroll—and if it ain’t his, then he’ll just apologize for it tomorrow. He falls, almost too fast, but the alcohol’s buzz has rendered him a bit numb for a while now and he stares up one last time to the person he brought here last. He set the bedroll just near the children’s mattress. He didn’t really know why but he felt more comfortable sleeping near her than anyone else in this room. The rise and fall of her chest seems steady and calm enough.  _ ‘No need to worry. I’ll be here if you get a bad dream. _ ’ He whispers but the fatigue rushing in confuses him if he really voiced that out or not. Either way, she won’t be waking up alone. Not while he’s around.

* * *

Just like clockwork, you regain consciousness at a certain time in the morning. Despite knocking yourself out the night before, you’re amazed by still managing to wake up earlier than the others. Your eyes flutter open, still feeling a hint of heaviness but thankful for the absence of any hangovers. Flashes of last night’s event rush in your mind as you blankly stare at the old wooden ceiling. A table full of beverage, Kaidan complaining about expenses when he’s glugging four drinks ahead of the others, you losing a match of arm wrestle with one of the patrons, Rumarin tripping more than twice on his way to a restroom, lots of laughter, lots of singing, and the best bowl of stew you’ve tasted for weeks. Honestly, any stew would do after living on the woods with just a handful of ingredients to work with. You began to turn aside but quickly noticed a certain numbness on your arm.

Carefully tilting your head to the right, you spot a pair of horns sticking out from the waves of orange...  _ hair?  _ You blink a few times before you realize Auri’s all curled up in your arm. The wood elf slumbered peacefully, nestled in the warm comfort of your lent coat and body. She laid close enough for you to hear her soft breathing; close enough for you to examine. The unique bone structure complimenting her big eyes, freckles running over that tiny pointed nose of hers, thin arched and well defined eyebrows, and the pale tan of her skin. Oh, you’ll never miss out how much you adore the way her thick hair is a perfect shade of sunset, braided neatly to the side in prevention of strands straying to her face and which also adds a stylish flair alongside her little horns—Auri is beautifully unique in her own way and it’s not solely due to these physical assets you’re noticing just now. The bosmer possesses a sweet balance of sarcasm and cheerfulness, a quirk that made you get along in the first place. She and Rumarin both speak their minds often, although unlike the latter, Auri  _ does _ think before she opens her mouth. No hard feelings, Rumarin. He and his flaws are accepted with open arms.

“Do I have dirt on my face?” Her soft voice catches you defenseless like a shock spell. You jerked back and she does too in mutual surprise. You were so busy analyzing her you didn’t realize she had opened her eyes. After a beat, you stopped holding your breath and released it through giggling which she joins in before burying her face on the coat.

“Gotta say, it really smells nice.” She inhales the scent of your garment one last time before placing it atop you. “Looks like you made good use of the flowers we picked the other day. I’m glad.” Her lovely and gentle smile is more than what you need to label this a good morning indeed. After mumbling about last night’s fun, you finally got up to start the day. You work on the coat as you go, inserting an arm in and proceeding to stretch your limbs in the process. The other two of your companions sat on the mattress to the far right side of the room. You spot Inigo handing a hunched over Rumarin some hot beverage, probably for his headache. Like you, he also knocked himself out, albeit literally. They both return your gaze when you greeted them. Their calm expressions shift into horror as you hopped off the bed and they exclaim in panic;

_ “Wait. WAIT! NO DON’T—” _

_ _ You felt— _ something _ —jolt under your feet followed by an ominous groan.

_ “........ W-... why you..” _

To skip the details of the barking that ensued, one can simply put that Kaidan had a bad start for the day... and a sore back.

After appeasing the wrath of the swordsman with thousands of apologies and a hearty breakfast under your treat, everyone had agreed to take the day off for relaxing, resupplying and scouting the notice boards. Inigo and Auri found some time to chitchat and had their meals by the fire pit at the center of the common room while Rumarin relaxed by himself listening to the bard play for the early birds in the establishment. It was only when you found yourself a blissfully isolated table to enjoy your morning tea that a familiar young man enters your line of sight.  _ ‘He definitely looks like he’s about to make an offer. _ ’ For a split second, keeping the thought to your self was a wise move. Heaven knows Rumarin is quite talented in twisting the meaning of one’s words. You arched a brow when he took too long to respond. Gods’ sake other patrons are starting to send you glances. “Can I help you?” The blonde flinches at your concern.  _ ‘Do I know him? Wait... He’s the lad from last night.’  _ All too suddenly, you feel sheepish for whatever behaviour you met this person with.

He gulps down, “P-pardon me, madam. But perhaps you have a moment t-to.. talk now?” he squeaks. It’s not that you’re being inconsiderate but how could you possibly hold a conversation if you don’t help him shake off the jitters. Examining his intentions with a slight tilt of your head, you deem him good enough to entertain. With a blank expression, you spoke;

“Are you trying to  _ flirt _ with me?”

Some utensils cluttered against wood a few tables behind and you can perfectly tell who’s that man choking on the meal you paid for just now.

“Flirt? No, I... ah... that wasn’t my intention! Not at all!” the stranger’s voice cracks and so do you—just inside. “I just meant I-I have a uh..  _ proposition _ for you.” One hand involuntarily covers your mouth. He does look and sound educated but his wording really does the job in keeping this exchange far from serious. 

Unable to hold back your laughter, you sputter like a broken faucet and swear to the gods you see Rumarin stifling a laugh as well. “ _ Pfft...  _ Sounds like flirting to me.” He catches on you quick, backtracking just as fast as he turned red. “Ah-.. no..! Not that kind of proposition! I meant I’d like to do  _ business  _ w-with you...  _ Ah!  _ Not like that! I..” Trailing off in a small whimper, you nod kindly for him to go on. His shoulder resigned with a defeated sigh. “Can we start again...?” You take pity on him and honestly, after seeing those puppy eyes, how could you not? No promises on keeping this a formal conversation, though. “Sure. Here.” Conjuring up a bit of magicka, you subtly pushed forth a chair for him with one tap of your fingers on the table. You see his face light up upon seeing you flash some magic. Figures.

You cued for him to sit and he eagerly obeys. “Oh, thank the Divines... Right, let’s have another go.” He clears his throat and you play along.

“What’s your name?”

“My name is Lucien Flavius. I’m a scientist, philosopher, amateur wizard, and something of a musician... though I suppose that’s more of a hobby.” You silently applaud the young man for how quickly he tossed aside his awkwardness. “I couldn’t help noticing that you seem...” He mutters quietly to himself, “...well acquainted with the  _ less-savory-side _ of Skyrim?”

“I’ve seen a thing or two... Do you need help with something?” You know where this is going. Guess it’s not that bad to accept direct missions this early, at least it’ll save time from gambling on bounty hunts. The stranger— _ Lucien.  _ Lucien’s round blue eyes burned with excitement, no matter how much he tries to conceal it. “As a matter of fact, I do. I’m here in Skyrim on an expedition—academic mainly.” Is what the guy says and continued to enthusiastically elaborate his reasons behind this ‘proposition’. You nod your head in a steady rhythm, waiting for the part where he asks you to retrieve something or clear out some place but what he says next raises intrigue.

“Skyrim’s no place for a... “milk drinker” like me—not on my own, anyway! So I’m  _ looking for someone to travel with _ .”

What an adventurous dork. You size him up with a quick sweep on his frame. He doesn’t even look like he has the physical capacity of swinging that sword more than ten times. Ten might even cause him to collapse. Nope. Gonna have to turn this down before he gets killed sticking by your side.

“Hm. Sorry, I don’t think it’ll be safe for you with me.”

Lucien held out a hand in his defense, “Ah, but I’d have you to protect me!” he smiles nervously. “And I imagine I might pick up a thing or two from you before long. Come on, what do you say?” he’s quite persistent to brave unknown territory. Before you had time to consider it, the show has begun.

“N—”

“ _ Yyyeees _ ... _ ! _ Yes. You’ll pay right?” Rumarin dashes over to your table in a snap, coming off as awkward and aggressive as he is when you first met each other. Poor Lucien nods, completely taken aback. “Alright, tell us what you want.” The altmer demands and despite the confused look the young man sends you, Lucien went along. “I-I suppose what I’m asking is, would you awfully mind if I... Tag along?”

“NO tagging along!” Kaidan harshly opposes from his side of table.

“..Oh! I will of course compensate you most handsomely for putting up w—”

“YES—I mean, the compensation! Don’t listen to that brute! How much?”

Rumarin is losing his ability to form a proper sentence. He practically sealed his answer the moment he heard the word ‘compensation’ from a wealthy looking man. To top it all, Lucien seems to be rolling with this bewildering encounter. Or is it that he’s too intimidated to back out. You lean back in resignation and glanced at the other two by the fire who are happily watching with shared amusement.

Lucien’s talking to Rumarin more now than he is to you. Boy, that elf’s really looking to make some coin. “Shall we say three hundred septims up front? After that, I’ll top you up every time we come across something useful to my research.” Three hundred septims and counting. By Zenithar—that’s more than what you earn for a whole week of chasing bandits.

“We ain’t baby sittin’ around here, oi!” Your swordsman yells at Rumarin who quickly retorted.

“We only need to keep him alive so who cares?!”

“I  _ do _ you idiot! I’m already looking out after that woman!” Wow this is getting heated pretty quickly. These two know how to attract attention. Aren’t there any grilled leeks around? Potatoes to munch on? No? Shame.

“Her?  _ Her?? _ She needs protecting? What she need is profit! Have you been listening to how much this fellow is offering us?”

Auri slides in beside Lucien, eyeing the lad up and down and turns on you. “Yeah, it may take a while but I think we can train him.” Her fangs peeked out as she grin, obviously enjoying the show. “Kaidan, I think we should consider. We’re gonna be out soon.” Enter your blue friend to this match. Lucien looks around considerably alarmed by these people’s sudden emergence in a supposedly simple chat. You could only offer him a silent apology for your friends’ rowdiness.

“You can’t be serious, Inigo?” Kaidan reiterates. “It’s already hard enough to carry our own packs.”

“Which is why we need this rich man, you big oaf, we can at last buy horses—”

“ _ WOAH.  _ Hold it right there. You wanna get thrown out this early in the morning? Get your asses here and talk.” You hissed. Kaidan grunts and immediately abandons his seat to join you. His expression softens upon coming face to face with Lucien who promptly greets him politely. “Ah.. It’s you. Figured you would have persisted.” He mutters to the blonde. “So what’s this then? How are you so sure you’ll find something useful by tagging along?”

With everyone in the table now, Lucien was more than eager to advertise himself. Again, thank the Divines Rumarin isn’t able to read your mind. “W-well, I’ve never been here before. And travelling with adventurers like you, it’s only a matter of time before I stumble on something worth studying.” The man’s got a high accent which is a dead giveaway for the bandits but he’s given this idea some thinking beforehand, you’ll give him that. Then he continues, “At your discretion, of course. No obligations, save that you take me with you, and assist in keeping me alive wherever possible.” His chuckle is only short of a few trembles before it can be mistaken as a cry for help.

“You some sort of scholar, aye?” Kaidan inquires calmly. “I’ve seen you looking at her since last night. You know she’s with us.”

“Y-you saw me last—? Uh..” Lucien seems embarrassed for a while but probably thought better than to make up an excuse. “That’s a bit foolish of me. Truthfully, I thought you were all just a group of bounty hunters celebrating together. I did assume you’d disband by morning. I see now I’m mistaken.”

“So you’ll stop trying to hire her?”

“Of course! If you would accept it, I’d like to hire  _ all _ of you. I’ll make sure the pay is sufficient.” He beams optimistically. Looks like that’s the end of his part. You looked at Rumarin, undoubtedly willing to take his  _ gol _ —you mean offer. To Inigo, nodding in a way to say that he’ll trust your judgement. And Auri is just waiting for your word for she knows you’ve already got an answer.

“Kaidan?”

The swordsman had a hand on his jaw, weighing the situation. “I’m afraid you’ll have to cross me out from your payroll.” Kaidan grins and Inigo chuckles back, “Yeah, I’m not exactly looking to get paid either. I just go wherever my friend goes.” He tells Lucien without even meeting your eyes first. Kaidan brashly ruffles your hair while you’re off guard, “I’m already under her employment, y’see. Me and the khajiit owes her.” Well that was a surprise. Rumarin hums and looks at Auri, giggling lightly. “Huh. I guess that leaves you with only two people to pay. I don’t take payment in form of money.”

“Wait, wait.” You take this pause to step in. “If you’re refusing to get paid, does it mean you’re leaving if I go with him?”

“Course not! Assuming you’re actually listening, it’s him who wants to join us. Sure he can,” Kaidan rotates your head to face his, “But my priority is you. That’s the deal.” Hearing him say it with steeled resolve sends a shudder throughout your body. He really is dead serious about that life debt of his, huh.

Lucien exclaims giddily, “Oh, splendid! Here’s your gold. This is going to be quite the adventure!” The new recruit places two small pouches on the table, beaming from ear to ear. Nevermind the few prying eyes your little commotion is gaining; now we’re actually on to something.

* * *

After making a deal, you allowed your team to wander around the city to do what they have to before departing. Kaidan and Inigo of course stuck by your side, while Auri and Rumarin went to replenish their items on different stores; though it’s a bit confusing what Rumarin had to replenish in the first place. Either way, the sun’s still up high and it’s a good time to get to know your new friend while getting things done.

“I believe I haven’t properly introduced myself yet. My name is Lucien. Lucien Flavius. It’s a pleasure.” The blonde man held out his hand for Kaidan. The swordsman had his brows in a knot for a second but returned to shake Lucien’s hand. “The name’s Kaidan. Good to meet you, Lucien.” By the gods, are you and Inigo dreaming or did you just hear the man introduce himself  _ normally? _

“Ahh, ‘Kaidan’...” Lucien lets the name roll on his tongue. “That’s an unusual name. Where are you from, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I wish I knew. But I’m trying to find out.”

That’s a first. “I suppose it’s a pleasant change. I’m glad he seems less burdened as of late.” You whispered with Inigo as you let the two behind partake in small talks. “All thanks to you.” Your blue companion compliments. “I barely did anything. I don’t hold anyone’s choices here. Oh. I hope you’re not following me just because you’re guilty about what you did.” You nudged his arm playfully. Inigo gives it a bit of thought before coming back to you. “I am. But I’m also here because you’re my friend. This time, I want to be a proper one at least.” His words are heart-achingly touching. Still, you can’t help but feel like there’s always an underlying hint of sadness or regret in it. Sometimes you wonder why Inigo would follow you unconditionally and side with you no matter your standing. Is it because his guilt leads him to it or is it because he has faith in you? No. That’s not how you should think. Whatever the reason, Inigo  _ has  _ faith in you—So you better become someone truly deserving of it.

“Then do this for me as a friend, Inigo. Tell me when I’m wrong.”

“No promises my friend. People like us and others in our field... our definition for right and wrong can change too swiftly depending on situations. But I will try my best.”

You didn’t expect he’d have such an open minded answer. He is right, of course. It’s just somewhat terrifying how happy it makes you to actually hear validation and acceptance from your companions. Fresh waves of motivation courses through you and a surge of comforting joy keeps your heart fluttering for the rest of the stroll until you reach an antique warehouse. Your blue friend and Lucien asked to have a look inside, leaving you on watch with Kaidan.

“You sure you’re okay with him?” The two of you stood idly leaning against the store’s wall, under the roof’s shade. You’re afraid he’s just waiting to get you alone before throwing a fit so you initiated. Much to your surprise, his respond is rather calm.

“Is there a point? All of you wanted him aboard. The guy’s pretty lanky, aye. But he’s paying a generous amount as far as hiring just for protection goes. It’s a safer option in comparison to racing against other hunters for unclaimed bounties.” Then he turns at you and that sudden glimmer of smug in his eyes couldn’t possibly hold any good news for you. “Speaking of which...” The swordsman places his hands on your shoulders; gauntlets adding weight to the contact. That or your knees are getting soft under this impaling gaze. His lips curl into a taunting smirk just as his expression darkened. “Heard you had some in Eastmarch.” Like a trigger, his words made you bounce but he holds you firmly on your spot, as if you’re a pinned down prey.

With a trembling voice, you did your best to play it off. “A...ahaha... W-Where did you hear that ridiculous accusation..?” You tried prying his hands off but the man only tightens the hold.

“From an absolutely much,  _ much _ , more ridiculous source...” He pulls you close and whispers in a voice so low and husky it sent chills down the spine. “..Didn’t I already warn you not to drink too much?” Kaidan’s smirk grew more contemptuous upon seeing you on edge and wide eyed.

“O-..oh... Damn.” Gulping down, you fight the heat rising to your face with a nervous smile, “You’re... Not gonna haul this friend of yours here all the way to Eastmarch for a couple of gold pieces, yeah?”

“Oh, but am I friends with this person?”

“Hey, that’s mean.” You frown and shoved him off, breaking yourself free. But Kaidan wasn’t quite done yet. He cups your face and, knowing you’d back up whenever someone crosses your personal space, successfully drives you on the wall. “Wha-.. Kaidmff..!” Too late—his name fails to fall out when he mercilessly squeezes your already burning cheeks. It’s not that you don’t welcome a friend getting physical during these types of banters but why does it feel like his always comes with a bit more of personal grudge every single time.  _ ‘This is because I accidentally over cooked his fish last time, isn’t it? Just say it!’  _ You take an effort to meet his gaze and knew you wouldn’t be able to match the intensity in his.

“Listen to me,  _ airhead _ .” He squints; tone growing serious all of a sudden. “It took all of mine and Inigo’s diplomatic skills to convince the patrons that you’re fooling around. Stop drinking.. over.. your.. limit. Understand?” the exasperation in his voice is unmasked. You submissively nod like a child being scolded and the swordsman eases his hold into a light pinch on either side of your face. “It’s a good thing you’re cute or I would have turned you in for that bounty myself.” He scoffs into a half smile, chuckling lightly as you throw in weak punches against the faded twin sabre cat marks on his chest plate. The store’s bell chimes, gaining both your attentions. Lucien stood halfway out the door looking at the two of you with his mouth hanging slightly open.

“I.. Maybe I should wait for Inigo inside!” He blurts then disappears just as fast.

After a minute of two, they finally go out—Inigo looking livelier upon scoring an item he claims to be extremely useful. “It’s a surprise,” he says, “I’ll tell everyone after we make camp for the night!” his tail swings in the air with enthusiasm. Your group dropped by shortly on the blacksmith to pick up the items you had repaired before heading out into the stables outside the city.

“Took you long enough.” Rumarin greeted everyone, muttering something after getting out of the bosmer’s earshot. “I got nervous for a bit when I saw that midget here, saying she didn’t know which stable we were supposed to meet at.” He says and looks at you. “So where are we staying tonight? I know this other inn...”

“How about my place?”

The high elf tenses as Auri called out from the rock she’s sitting on, brandishing a tiny blade in her hand and making some arrows.  _ ‘If she heard that, she definitely heard everything.’  _ The voice inside you snickered. “Your place?” The tiny bosmer nods at you, toying with a lock of fiery curls on her finger. “When we met, I mentioned I was staying nearby. I was actually talking about my place. Heehee~”

“You had a place and you just left it as it is..?” It is duly noted that elves have the upper hand in expressing emotions using their eyebrows as Rumarin raises his in utter bemusement. Auri laughs at the altmer’s response, saying she already brought everything she needed to survive and whatever’s left behind is simply being given back to nature. “It’s not far from here. We can arrive there before sunset even if we’re on foot.” She tells everyone, already leading the way towards a nearby forest.

“Erm.. We won’t be in need of any horses or carriage?” Lucien meekly inquires.

“Don’t worry, my friend. We have each other’s back out here. I’m sure you’ll find the place comfortable enough to regain your strength.” For a second, you catch a shade of gloom in her expression when looks into the distance. “It may be a lot smaller than the magnificent ones from Valenwood, but it was my home for some time now after arriving here in Skyrim... I hope it will offer the same security for all of my loving guests.” Her tone has been consistently cheery and bright and she wore a radiant smile while entertaining Lucien’s curiosity... yet despite it all, you couldn’t figure out why her words are laced with sadness.

* * *

LDB doing a vibe check on Kaidan:

Another bonus since I'll be away:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yehey Lucien is here!! <3 <3 <3! I kinda planned to post this a little later but our family vacation will take longer than I heard so hehe. Thank you for all the support, comment, kudos, and tips!
> 
> Also I may continue making fan arts when I can't generate words for this fanfic lol. You can view future fan arts on my tumblr. :D I do have plans of following up with my DeviantArt profile too. ^^ no need to follow me but i'll keep the links just so when some of you are interested in finding the full size pics xD
> 
> tumblr: https://kittyplaysandcries.tumblr.com


	24. Questions Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since they've got a new companion, it is yet another time for self introductions... but with a slight twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They literally just sit and release words at each other. So.... dialogue heavy chapter! o((*^▽^*))o  
Also it's nearing Christmas. Just curious if anyone was interested... Would you like to see a Saturalia/Old&New life festival fanfic? Or it can also be an AU with the same characters but in modern day Christmas and New Year's eve/day? I'll include all five of them... and YOU the most beloved Dragonborn (or just 'Friend' if you hate being LDB)!!! ヾ(ﾟ∀ﾟ○)ﾂ三ヾ(●ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉ
> 
> (Author status at end note.)

**023**

**Questions Game**

Deep inside the hold’s rich forest and lush greenery, your group silently followed the wood elf’s steps. The further you delve into the woods, the bigger and sturdier some of the trees appear. Kaidan made sure to keep track of the afternoon ray’s direction. Though everyone had been quietly admiring the serene ambiance until now, you can’t blame Lucien for being ecstatic traversing in this arboreal bliss. This must have been territories untouched by civilization. Patches of mosses and wild grass have grown all over everywhere, even the stones, and vines coiled and crept around huge trunks while some tangled over tree roots overlapping each other. The newcomer was right when he said Skyrim’s flora and fauna are fascinating to behold. There aren’t any clear or empty spots on the soil below, indicating that no other person had trailed on these parts often or if there were any, it had to be from long ago. Birds and mammals have increased within vicinity so the party had their defences on full alert just in case. Lucien knows a few basic spells, but it’s nowhere near reliable enough to protect a whole group.

“You’re protecting yourself from harmless animals?” Auri chuckles, carefully lifting her steps to avoid trampling over some flowers. “What you should watch out for in places like these are the witches and necromancers.” She warns, “The natural wildlife provides sufficient materials and perfect sanctuary for practitioners of such wicked ways.”

Lucien gulped rather loudly. “I’m going to assume they won’t be foolish enough to approach a group of our size?”

“Most of us have pretty keen senses, friend. I’m sure we’ll be able to avoid unnecessary dangers by reading the signs correctly. Look-” The bosmer hops on a huge fallen trunk. You and Rumarin help Lucien up, quickly taking notice of the cracks and missing chunks from some of the barks up ahead. Vegetation has grown over a small clearing but traces of destruction that transpired remains—especially on the trees around. “Looks like somebody whipped out a huge lightning rod.” You murmured. She assures you that judging by the overgrowth and the clutter of old bones she found before, it’s safe to assume whoever did these have been long gone by now. “Don’t trip now my dear friend. Let’s follow the wreckage. My home’s at the end of it.”

Sure enough once you made a turn for it, a ginormous cave greets you. Vines and mosses hang around the entrance while overgrown roots snaked further inside as it dominated pretty much all of the space in the ground. Approaching in, her said items became much easier to spot. Several layers of furs and pelts were placed atop each other, there’s a makeshift tanning rack, some laces in a bowl lying around, and in one of those pots were an assortment of herbal ingredients. You spot a clutter of burnt bones piled together inside a circle of rocks and beside it, a cooking pot which only contained dusts now. The place stretched ahead some more but a blockage of wild plants and stone rubble had it inaccessible. Light came from above and it’s a pleasant eye catcher. In between the plants and fauna enveloping every part of this area, light is able to pass through the holes above. It’s quite resourceful in your opinion. On days, it’ll look like a relaxing haven and during nights, she can just drag her pelts to watch the stars until she falls asleep. The huge unused space at the dead end would serve as a great shelter from snow and rain, given that the fire stays up all night. Oh but Auri is a Valenwood native. She probably has better wilderness survival knowledge than yours. Your group starts unpacking before something catches your attention. Under the soil and the walls—it’s wood.  _ ‘Wait. This is not a cave...’  _ You stepped outside and strode a few paces to the get a better view of the entrance, Kaidan following closely. Your breath gets caught in your throat at the sight you behold.

“Am I seeing things?”

Kaidan didn’t say anything but you hear him make a tiny gasp, amazed by the scenery as well.

The cave turned out to be a fairly old and large fallen tree. Surrounding plant life grew over it, hiding the majority of the destruction. Unless you’re spectating from an aerial view, there’d be no easy way to tell. It probably got wrecked along the previous ones. Took the most damage, too just by the looks of it.

“Are you two alright? It’s about to get cold.”

They spun around in choreography upon hearing their host. Kaidan let his eyes wander the area to tell the time. Bright streaks of orange that were once there up in the sky are giving way to the lavender hues caused by the quickly setting sun. He waits for his nameless companion to return first before he moves from his spot. So far it’s been peaceful, but nobody will ever really know what comes next. His ears would pick up to every rustle or snapping caused by nearby animals but his eyes remained on her. It remained to do so when she took off her hood and wrapped the mantle around the bosmer’s bare shoulders.

“You said it’s gonna get cold. Your clothes always seem to be short of sleeves.”

“Haha. They are. But you do know my attire is made of animal skin and materials enough to keep me warm, right?”

“Fine. Fine, I’ll take it back.” She laughs and reaches out.

Auri ducks away, “Nuh-uh. I like its softness so I’m sleeping with it.” She teases back. “...and it smells good.”

These two sure have gotten close. Well, maybe they were bound to be since the tiny wood elf is the only other female in the group. Kaidan quietly followed them until they were back inside. The three males gathered around the pit. Fire’s already set up and Rumarin’s adding some ingredients into the pot. Inigo hopes the high elf knows what he’s doing in which Rumarin admits he doesn’t and is just “putting all the ingredients Auri had prepared for usage”. Ysmir’s beard! Kaidan isn’t the noblest person who walked the earth, aye, but he hopes to die with a warrior’s honor—not by getting food poisoned just because someone is too lazy to learn how to cook. In the end, he took it upon himself to take over the role, lest they all risk of getting sick.

* * *

“Mhmm! Why in Nirn is this  _ so  _ good?!” The nameless woman shamelessly squealed as she wolfs down the mushroom soup he had made. Although he appreciates the compliment, she’s coming off a little too fervently. Her blue eyes were filled with nothing but an ever increasing hunger and he started to worry she’ll eat up more than her fill.

“Oi, slow down. We’re far from the city.” He tosses her an apple, hoping that’ll calm the void in her stomach. Inigo chuckles beside her. “You have to understand us, my tall and grumpy friend. It’s  _ really  _ good.” Everyone was gathered around the fire. Starting from his left all the way round to his right; Rumarin, Lucien, Auri, Inigo, and the woman—they’d all passed down their compliments to the dish he prepared.

“I didn’t know you were such a good cook! We’ve been travelling together for two months!” the woman adds.

“Two months?” Lucien looks up at each of them. “Oh. I didn’t think you were all together that long already. I had no idea you were close to each other.”

“Because we’re not. But we do find each other reliable enough” Rumarin grumbles as he brings an apple to his mouth. “If you meant knowing each other’s story, then we’re far from that.”

“Really? How can you fully trust someone without knowing who they are?”

“By not being judgemental?” Auri giggles, “Don’t get me wrong. But out here, there are lots of ways to achieve mutual trust without singing about yourself much.” Everyone expressed their agreement in a quiet hum. The sort that gets in trouble, those who only know how to wield a blade, people with an insatiable thirst for danger—it’s not hard to form trust without other kinds of emotional strings latched onto it. Up until now, the same can be said to them. Despite the numerous disagreements they’ve had, they know exactly what each one is capable of and are confident that their backs are being guarded. Wait, that’s not really a hundred percent true. They’re able to remain here in one piece thanks to one woman—she’s the one they actually trust. She’s the one connecting them all. The person where all of this started.

“Isn’t this common to a highborn such as yourself, Lucien?” the woman asked him. “Would you like to share how you do it in your ways?” she suggests when the blonde man mumbled out an answer Kaidan was too busy with his food to pay attention to. No worries. His attention was easily brought back when his employer sputtered out some tea upon receiving an answer from Lucien. “Game?” she laughs, “A questions game? Couldn’t have come up with some fancier name?” the woman rolls a thumb over the apple she holds. “Er.. I suppose they could but just didn’t want to. See, it’s an activity meant to be played by children after all.” Lucien states in a matter-of-factly way.

Rumarin grumbled in, still chewing his food. “Well, how does it work?” “We don’t have to put in money don’t we? Ugh... I don’t have a lot on me right now..” Mutters Inigo. Lucien waves his hand in the air, “Settle down people. It’s just us, asking each other questions that will help us learn something about them.” “No winners? I thought it was a game?” Auri tilts her head in question.

“N-no, it’s a game for children. Why don’t we just pretend we’re meeting each other for the first time tonight!”

“Ooh! I LIKE THAT!”

The woman tosses the apple up high and had her wide grin replaced with a completely different expression by the time the apple lands back on her palms. It’s a bit unsettling how fast she did it. No wonder she makes an exceptional thief. “Who are you..!?” she growls at Kaidan in a low voice, glaring like she’d no idea of who he is. “But most importantly... Can I have more of that soup?”

Stendarr’s mercy be upon him.

* * *

How they got started and why he’s participating in this kind of foolishness was a bit of a blur but here they are now; listening to crickets and bones snapping softly while Lucien prepares to take the first turn. Since everyone cheered for a twist, Auri offered her stash of Jagga—a bosmeri drink made from pig’s milk and fermented honey—it’s pretty good actually, albeit a tad sweet for his preference. The one asking will get a taste whenever their question is given an answer. The one being asked will get a taste whenever they answer a question. Kaidan could only wonder if it’s wishful thinking for them to get drunk before it’s his turn.

“Oh, that’s so generous of you. But I wouldn’t feel right to just take this without payment. At least exchange it here for my ale.“ Lucien was a second too late to see Rumarin shaking his head vigorously—Auri’s sweet face is now filtered with bafflement. “Ale? That’s disgusting! You think I’m one of those salad-eaters?”

“S-salad.. Eat..? No, I-it’s just I saw you drinking with them the whole night so I thought..”

“I’ve had nothing but  _ milk _ the whole night. Now please.” She bites down, promptly stopping the topic from going on as the scholar sinks in his shoulders while muttering an apology.

The rules are simple. They say something basic. Name, race, birthday, home, age—all at their will of course. Everyone can ask them one question each after that. No one is required to disclose anything they’re not comfortable with. Although the bosmer’s drink serves as a strong motivator to try and answer as much as they can.

* * *

** _Lucien's turn..._ **

“Hi, everyone.” Lucien clears his throat, but the upper class tone didn’t changed much. “My name is Lucien Flavius, but you can all just call me by my name. Both my parents are Imperials and so am I, though none of us have yet to tap into our “gift”. But then again, it’s common for anyone not to be able to.” He mutters as if he read that part straight off a book. “Anyway, I was born on the 24th of Hearthfire, in the year 180 and grew up in the Imperial city. That’s about it for now.” He finishes with a perfectly polite smile just how any noble was taught to in conversations.

“180 huh. You’re 20-no.. 19 of age. Lucien..” The woman was the first to ask, “Why do you want to die so young?” Inigo and Rumarin immediately clamoured for her to change the question. “Woah, woah. Try to be more positive, my friend. I’m sure he knows he’s in safe hands and he is.” her furry friend advises.

“I.. I don’t want to die. Obviously.” The imperial’s voice falters a bit, “But I don’t know... My pursuit of knowledge is the biggest factor why I’m out here away from my comfort zone. There’s so much to explore! Shoving my nose in a thousand books will never measure up to actually partaking in an adventure!”

Kaidan scoffs, “Better to die fulfilling a dream than grow grey with riddles unsolved.” He nods, making the young man beam. The others threw in their questions, about his education, about his family. A kid growing up in the safety of the Empire’s walls, never having any need to fight his way for survival as it will be given to him without hardship. Lucien was more than willing to disclose  _ almost _ everything. Kinda stupid in the swordsman’s opinion. Many of those he’d spoken can be used to exploit the lad before leaving him for dead—if he fell into the wrong company.

Maybe it was for the good that he got tangled with their group.

** _Inigo's turn..._ **

The next one was the Inigo, “Hello, my name is Inigo and I am a recovering skooma addict.” The blue khajiit spoke formally and sat up with a straight posture. Is he treating this as some sort of therapy session? “I was an orphan raised by a couple of retired assassins. Spent many years as sellswords with my older brother mostly in Cyrodiil. Er... I can’t exactly tell how old I am but the treaty between the Empire and the Dominion had already been in effect as far as I could remember. As I had told my friend here before, a soldier found us. Maybe that’s somewhere between near the end or after the war.” The earrings jiggled with his ear’s movement, “Ah~ Don’t mind my unique color. It’s a hundred percent natural. No magic, no chemicals. As for the way I talk.. I guess it’s because of my upbringing.”

“Interesting... Did anyone find out why your color is like that?” Lucien inquires with growing interests. “I imagine an equally unique lunar event was going on as it plays a big part in the birth of a khajiit. Oh! Not that I’m an expert. Just read that in a book somewhere.” He fiddles with the small cup he had.

“Really? That seems plausible. Maybe you can figure out how old I am and if ever, when my birthday is.” Inigo laughs as Auri pours him a share of jagga. Rumarin waves his hand, “Oh! Oh! I have one for you. Why are you always carrying that bug with you?”

All eyes went straight to the jar attached to Inigo’s belt. “Bug? Mr. Dragonfly is not just some average insect! He and I go way back.” he pats the jar with care. “Riiiight.. So it’s a “he” now and apparently has a name.” Rumarin nods, sending the woman a confused glance.

Inigo shrugs, “I’m afraid I can’t say anything about him yet. Mr. Dragonfly says he’s still feeling shy around you people. Don’t be silly Mr. Dragonfly! They are friends!” He comforts the bug. “Maybe next time, when he gets to know everyone a little better.” The khajiit chuckles. Soon everyone had their simple questions answered, even Kaidan’s question about his preferred weapon. There’s no denying that Inigo is skilled with a sword but he does seem to favor the bow. Although, speaking of which, he hadn’t got the chance to use it much in combat when he’s lending it to the woman. After a short discussion about his skills in archery, the stage was passed onto Rumarin.

** _Rumarin's turn..._ **

“Okay. First of all, yes. I’m a high elf who dislikes politics. Yes, we exist. Also, everyone already knows my name. Rumarin. I believe I haven’t told anyone what it means in the old Aldmeri. That’s because I have no idea.” He quips, earning a stifled laughter from the woman. “Grew up with troubadours, spreading merriment all around Tamriel. I always wanted to be a jester when I was a kid. But I’ll be honest... It was my mentor that inspired me to become an adventurer. His name was Otero. He was a nord... A really big and fat one.” He smiles warmly while gazing in the fire but snaps out of it before he gets too personal. “I’m evidently older than the rest of you but I’m fairly young in comparison to my own kin. I’m around...” Rumarin trails off, eyes straying from the fire till it’s up high to the hanging vines.

“Is he okay?” Auri whispers.

“Point is, I am still young so don’t go around treating me like I’m senile.” He says with a straight face.

“You definitely lost count of your age.” The woman snorts.

“Which is totally okay—don’t give me that look!” Rumarin snaps at his laughing audience. “What does age matter when I’m obviously gonna die earlier with this kind of job. See? Nothing matters.” But they’re still grinning sheepishly, making the altmer cross his arms, “Fine. Fine. Ask something quick, I want a refill of that drink.”

Auri raises her inquiry first. “Why were you with them in the first place, if I may ask?”

“I see you’re curious why I’m the only one without a debt to that woman. Well, to answer your question, I didn’t really want to join up—”

“Feel free to go.”

“Hush it, swordsman.” He rebukes, “To continue, I was fighting off some draugrs when I stumbled upon her, or I think she did—it’s.. It’s confusing who did what because I spotted her watching me and we were suddenly fighting together. Next thing I know is she was suddenly on top of me a—nmmghff!” Rumarin struggled with his hood wrapping tight over his mouth.  _ ‘Magic?’  _ One glance on Kaidan’s right shows an outstretched arm of the woman whose face is somewhere torn in between laughing or being flustered. She’s probably confused as well. After getting the message, Rumarin takes a breather. “To sum it up shortly, I was just bored travelling alone. Please, no more choking. Geez. Couldn’t you wait until we’re alo—ummphff!!”

Lucien had every look of ‘Is this normal?’ plastered on his face. On the other hand, Inigo is too busy with his cup of jagga as he waits for the two to finish their rumble while Auri pours their cups. Why the hell did the gods decide to throw in a lone swordsman like him with this lot? Kaidan mentally resigned for the next few minutes until they were back on topic again. Lucien had kindly asked the woman if she wanted to take the next turn. At least that was the imperial’s attempt to help Rumarin escape his predicament. Well...? He was curious as well until their eyes met and it struck him that she has absolutely nothing to say given her circumstances, so he takes the hit.

“No. This one will take too long so put her last.” He glances at the woman. “She’ll provide more questions than answers for you, Lucien. Trust us.”

The young man gasps in astonishment. “Ah! A person of mystery! I suddenly feel more right about choosing to travel with you. Very well, then.” But before Kaidan could speak, the bosmer introduces herself too quick.

** _Auri's turn..._ **

“Fine. Name’s Auri. I’m a wood elf from Valenwood. I can tap into this “gift” but it rarely happens. I guess commanding animals isn’t really my expertise. All I know is it exists. Let’s see.. I was born on the 2nd day of Sun’s Dawn around at least seven or eight decades ago, I think? Oh I could hardly keep up.” She giggles, “My people aren’t exactly the type to keep track of numbers. We just keep throwing celebrations whenever possible.”

The woman raises her hand as she takes a sip, “Why do you refuse to consume anything made of plant?”

“Ah.. That’s a religious thing. ‘The Green Pact’ is an agreement my people made with Y’ffre. In return for her protection and blessing, we swore never to eat or harm any plant life or vegetation.”

The rest of them nods, each trying to comprehend what she just explained. Rumarin pitches in some question about the wildlife in Valenwood and accidentally starts a short lecture from the redhead about her homeland’s dangerous environment. Lucien was not one to fall behind such a discussion, though. “So Auri... I heard this disturbing rumor about your people...” Her answer to that query sent the three males on edge. If anything, the lady found it most curious.

Who would’ve thought he’d actually get to meet a cannibalistic bosmer in his life? Don’t get him wrong, he and Brynjar did criss-cross Tamriel most of his life but some places are just not meant to be very friendly to humans—Valenwood being one of those.

“You all good? Not gonna ask anything else?” Auri shakes the newly opened jagga. “Alright. Maybe next round. I guess that was a lot to take in.” She chuckles softly, “My dear friends, I’m only going to eat an  _ enemy _ so don’t worry.” Her tone is friendly but Kaidan knew better. It’s just a casual way of warning not to piss her off. “Now if you haven’t thought up of anything yet, maybe that handsome man scooted over there should start his turn.” She points at him and then it felt like everyone was breathing easier again.

** _Kaidan's turn..._ **

Kaidan froze up.  _ ‘Ugh. Better make this fast.’ _ He groaned softly. “Uhh.. My name is.. Er...  _ sigh.  _ This’s ridiculous.”

“Hello, Ridiculous. It’s a fitting name.”

“You got a problem with me, you settle it with fists.” He fires back at Rumarin.

“Ha-ha very funny. You just want an excuse to abuse my delicate figure... Not like that, of course—”

“We  _ know _ . Now shut up.” Kaidan retorts, “The name’s Kaidan. My race... is what I’m searching here in Skyrim for. But I’ll make it clear that I was raised in Nord customs and I grew up as one as well. My day of birth is the eight day of Last Seed. It doesn’t mean much to me but that’s one of the only few things I know about my past. And... If I’m counting it right, I’ll be reaching my 26th year this summer. There.” He lets out a long drawn out breath. The incoming cup of bosmer drink should make this trouble worth it, though.

Inigo clears his throat, catching his attention. “I believe I haven’t told you yet, but your swordsmanship is quite amazing. Where did you learn it?”

“Hm. My skill...? Uhh. Thanks..” The swordsman sheepishly replied. “I had a mentor. A guardian. His name was Brynjar. He was a bounty hunter. An excellent fighter at that. Now if you’re asking what technique he uses, I’m afraid I wasn’t lectured about that. He just taught me how to focus under pressure, how to be effective, stay calm and all the essentials to make it on my own. I never bothered to know what to call whatever it is. I just kept learning and it never failed to keep me alive until now.”

Talking about it causes brief flashbacks of fatal moments in his life to occur. There were more he’d rather forget than ones he’d be proud to share. The bosmer seems to get a hint and hands them their share. Lucien takes a pass as the drink’s starting to take effect and Rumarin still has his cup full, so that leaves two more people to nag him.

“What’s your relationship with her?”

“Rela.... what??”

Auri’s question caught him, no...  _ them _ off guard. The quiet lady was no longer a spectator anymore but she hid behind that cup nonetheless; sipping away her surprise.

“Oh.. I didn’t mean anything by it. But you two look like you share some deep bond.” The tiny elf reaffirms and Inigo surely felt his ‘companion number one’ title quiver slightly. “I don’t really know how to answer that. We’re not relatives if that’s what you’re askin’. What I can tell you is that we only met at a Thalmor prison. We were on the run ever since we escaped. She... Saved me. And I know now more than before that I made the right call to stay by her side.” Before Kaidan could find a reason why, his eyes were already latched on the woman’s. Hers were always kind, always accepting, and it shook him to the core to be looked upon with so much warmth. The trust she gives him—he didn’t know what to make of it. But he’d rather she gave it to him than someone else.

“That’s great to hear. I guess sharing traumas do really tie people together despite their differences, huh.” Says Auri in amusement, pouring him a drink before she skips back to her spot. “Everyone said beautiful things tonight, and we’re just getting started. I’m curious to find out how we’ll all feel about each other in the near future.”

“If I haven’t sold that whiney elf over there for a good amount of gold, or left him inside a spider’s nest, then we can safely say he isn’t  _ that  _ insufferable.” He quipped, completely ignoring the high elf’s ensuing rain of complaints. He glances at the lady and to his surprise, she’s been staring at him before he took notice.

“Got any questions?”

**_Your_** **_turn..._**

Kaidan’s voice snaps you out of it and you fidget with the cup, a faint red rising to your cheeks. “I.. Uhm.. Oh dear.. I’m too nervous to think.” You confessed with a shaky laugh. “What’s troubling you, my friend?” Inigo’s ears twitches as he leans over to meet your eyes. A shrug. “The fact that I’m about to get questioned next? I didn’t think it’d be this pressuring until it was my turn.”

“Why is that?” Lucien asks, “We don’t have to say anything we’re not comfortable with. We can just start with... oh my. I’m terribly sorry!” the blonde gasps, “You’ve been so kind to me ever since this morning but I have yet to know your name. Please forgive me-“

“No, Lucien. Don’t be.” You send him a weak smile. “I’m nervous to speak because I don’t know who I am.” Lucien blinks confusedly at everyone.

“Sorry?”

Right at that moment the altmer snorts. “Now that’s an amusing face.” He teases. “Lucien is our newest so let’s take it easy on him.” You chuckled, “It’s true. When I was tortured by the Thalmor, they experimented on me with some incomplete spell. As a result, it locked away both my ability to tap into my magic and memories. I was able to get the wizard unlock it but… The memories are taking forever to come back. Surges of events would run through my mind all at the same time if I try to focus on it and it feels like I’ll go insane if I force it any further. It’s even a miracle I’m still a functioning human being at this point.”

Kaidan looked towards the fire with a sharp look on his face. He’s probably suppressing the anger that’s started to boil inside him at the mention of what happened in the prison. Those damn elves wouldn't feel an ounce of remorse even if they did ended up killing you. “I don’t know my name either. What I get in meditations and dreams mostly are fragments which I quickly forget. Unlike my body, it seems that my mind needs a stronger, possibly something more emotionally provoking event to be able to trigger these pieces into place. I apologize if I can’t disclose much.” You meekly explained, scratching your cheek.

“No..!” The scholar exclaims, “This is actually interesting. It truly is! I admit I’m hardly anywhere near the best when it comes to deciphering. But I’d like to give this a try. Erm.. If I may—and this is just an example,” Lucien takes a sip and leans closer. “You certainly don’t have the looks of a Redguard or a Nord. You are too pale  _ and  _ too round faced. That leaves the other two human races to place our bets in; Imperial or Breton. And from what I heard from the others, your skills in both magic and combat are exceptional yet you find the use of magicka much easier, is this correct?” Lucien confirms, and you nod—not entirely sure where this is going but it sounds interesting up to this point. “Us Imperials are known to be able to achieve balance in both magic and combat, but if you really did described using magic ‘as easy as breathing’, I’d suggest looking around in High Rock first, where the Bretons live.” He cheerily concludes. “Uhm.. I-I haven’t been there. And it can also be possible I’m entirely wrong with all of these stuff I’m talking about… but according to what I read and hear in stories, bretons often make use of magic on a regular basis to the point where it is treated a normal part of their daily lifestyle. Even beggars and street children would learn a bit of magic just to form some kind of entertainment or keep them warm in a cold night. Of course, there must be a limit somewhere and the upholders of the law would have to be equipped with top notch magic suppressing enchantments. I believe so anyway!” 

This is the first time after your escape that someone showered you with words and you didn’t doze off. Everyone fell dead silent. None of you made a noise, save for the wildlife outside and the fire in the center.

“That.. Makes sense.” Rumarin mumbles in agreement. No hint of sarcasm or malice in his tone. It’s true. It does. It’s worth a shot. “She does execute spells almost without effort. She could sneeze this forest into a blizzard even without an actual incantation—her mana pool is more than enough and I’ve seen myself what her magic looks like when she’s about to reach the limit. I’m never stepping anywhere near her or her flames again when in combat.” Rumarin adds. Even Kaidan looks a bit shock with the clues suddenly hitting him. Finally the path gets clearer, more concrete, and things start to connect somehow.

“Lucien, you’re a damn genius!” You cheered, grinning from ear to ear. He returns with a squeaky laugh and an awkward smile. “I... What? It’s all speculations! It’s not accurate—”

“But we can use your methods to pick up clues! Thanks to you, I can start somewhere with better chances.” You giddily replied, looking at Inigo and Kaidan who both give you an agreeing nod. High Rock, eh? You can research on it at first light. Gold’s a bit tight even with Lucien’s payment so you should double the jobs you take. There are also active tasks given by the guild which you still have to turn in. Ah, but everything can wait while you fix the schedule.

Auri whistles from behind, “Hey folks, while we’re at it, I still have several jars of Jagga that needs attention.” She pulls a wide rug off the ground, revealing said beverages hidden neatly in the hole she had dug. “Who’s ready for another round of this game?”

* * *

**THE AUTHOR IS HAVING A HARD TIME ACCESSING THE INTERNET WHILE ON VACATION **o(╥﹏╥)o (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞!!****

**Me on my net ** **connection:**

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm not dead! ｡ﾟヽ(ﾟ´Д｀)ﾉﾟ｡ But we're currently on vacation and I'm in somewhere really hard to access internet connection (=w=|l ... No worries, I'm trying to write on my free time... although we're mostly out near the ocean every waking hour. QwQ The author is really just trying to enjoy the nature bc she rarely comes out of her room to function like a normal human during day offs. (This is the author's first time seeing the ocean and she's already in her twenties oh god)
> 
> Thank you for the additional kudos while I was MIA :O :O :O!!! They're all worth a hundred haha I feel energized!! I'm always open to tips! >w<


	25. Sleepwalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having fun for a while, it's time to get back to work as usual. But something's different with your dreams this time. Is this where you finally start remembering things or just further complicate your mind?

**024**

**Sleepwalker**

“You are a dog person.”

“Oh! You worship the...  _ gasp!  _ Daedra!”

“She doesn’t really look that sort...”

“Shh Kaidan, just play the game. Hmm. She is afraid of centaurs!”

“Er... Alright. She’s got a tattoo.”

“Aha! Mr. Dragonfly said you have an extra toe!”

“Your favourite color is black?”

You bit your lip harder than you intended to. _‘My jaw hurts.’_ Holding back the uncontrollable laugh trying get free in the dead of the night does not only hurt the stomach but also disrupts proper breathing. Being half wasted sets the struggle to a whole new level as well. Your ears burned and your eyes are watery. The sweet, sweet taste this _intoxicating_ _milk_ brings you is the only salvation within reach to help you quell such emotions. Alas, there is only but a few drops remaining from your Jagga since the previous turn.

“All of you. Drink up.”

A resonating “WHAT” echoed in perfect chorus within the quaint cave.. base.. home.. tree.. camp. Hmm. Your mind’s not fully cooperating right now, is it? From over the tiny fire, you examine each one of their reactions; all of them have one in common—denial. They couldn’t believe they’ve yet to hit a right answer and are growing suspicious of whether you’re just cheating or not. Well, that makes all of you! They’ve been warned that including you entails a lot of drinking for them since you only have, like, more than two months worth of memories altogether. And you didn’t even used all those time to discover yourself. When a second passed and the air of hesitation started to bloom within their mindless tittering, you also started pointing your finger.

“I don’t have a tattoo, Kai. That’s the first thing I tried to check in search for leads. Sorry. Rumarin, I’m not afraid of centaurs,  _ YOU  _ are. You just told us last round, remember? I haven’t even seen one for the love of Nine. And you Lucien, is that a guess or a question? Have some resolve and drink! Then Auri, look. I do like dogs but I feel pretty neutral about them. Close one but you still gotta drink. Maybe you’ll hit it right on another round. And you Inigo, you drink double since you oh-so-confidently yelled your guess  _ twice _ . I warned you guys and you still want me, yeah? Get wasted and drink!” You cheered with everyone in a joyous roar, numbing all your senses in a sea of drunkenness and fits of laughter.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. After Lucien showed a possibly better and easier method of investigating, everyone wanted to give it a go for you. With the help of Auri’s drink, the questions game turned into a guessing game, until it’s now a full blown drinking game as well. There’s still a mix of asking and a bit of deducing, but responses became less informative when the only way to answer is by drinking or telling them to.What round is this now? That’s a total blur.  _ ‘Did I drift off some time in between... Hm.. I can’t recall. What I know is these dummies already got me to shut them all down for the fourth time. Now I’m already kinda buzzed, too. _ ’ Oh but surely, they’ll forgive you—you’re not exactly a heavy drinker like this giant brute beside you. Kaidan just shrugs it off with a chuckle before emptying his cup like it’s the first time he had water. What a damn monster, that one.

* * *

Being an archer her whole life, it’s not hard to observe from afar. Auri looked on from a tree as a group of four companions sneak around a small bandit encampment. Well it looks small from up here. There are actually around a dozen of those greedy dummies loitering about under this bright midday sun. The bandits’ sudden assumption of their battle stances tells her that the visitors have started their operation. Curious as ever, she dropped to a lower branch to get a closer view and witness the only woman in the group charge on ahead with nothing but a single dagger in her hand.

_ ‘How foolish. They already have the khajiit and the armoured one go on melee. If she’s using herself as bait then her leather armor’s not gonna be enough against all those crossbows. Those bandits are attracting more and more adventurers these days. Must have gathered some bounty on them.” _

Auri noticed something was off. The three males continued to fight off at the entrance while the hooded girl is going by unnoticed despite being out in the open.  _ ‘They can’t see her? Ah.. A mage. That’s actually smart.’ _ Realization struck her and her interest only grew. The girl managed to plant herself on an empty spot and started counting the enemies. Once she’s done, she shouted and Auri assumed the invisibility had been dispelled when the enemy turned their attention to her. The bosmer didn’t knew how it happened but things went pretty fast. She regretted blinking, for within that second, all the bandits—even those up on the fences, had all been snatched from their positions as if an invisible leash wrapped around them, yanking them forcefully as the woman’s magic gathered all those filths. Simply waving back the same unarmed hand she used to reel them in, a chain lightning that jolted the bandits unconscious.

Marvelous. The motion was so smooth, like simply executing a basic two hit combo.  _ ‘So this is how a mage does it.’  _ She’d never seen many mage switch spells  _ this _ fast. That might be ‘cuz they were only using self taught magic or they’re just not as fast as her arrows. This woman seems educated in arcane arts. It probably takes a lot of mental discipline since they rely on intelligence and willpower to work with magic. _ ‘Archers swing their bows same as swordsmen slashes their blades. While brawlers have their agile consecutive punches, of course a smart wizard would have a combination of quick spells, too.’ _ She narrates to herself. Living alone in the woods for quite some time can be lonely especially when you let silence accompany you for too long. An elf must be creative.

But the group got a bit complacent. They didn’t see the other bandits emerging from inside their fort. There were about more or less twenty scums, with their orc leader standing mighty and tall. He wasted no time in introductions and quickly unsealed a tome at the three men. The woman was still far from line of fire and her magicka must’ve been depleted by that flashy trick. If she decides to run away, the bosmer can save her. Despite the slim chance of getting away from the huge fireball hurling at them and her friends’ warnings, the woman intervenes, throwing a powerful force to shove away her companions as far as possible from the explosion. Auri clung on tightly to her bow and arrow. She didn’t thought witnessing a simple act of someone throwing their lives for others would trigger old memories. The explosion caught the woman and a huge cloud of smoke enveloped the area.

“Tch. Can’t see... But I can’t let these bandits keep breathing, too. They don’t know how to respect the flow of balance nature gives.” Before she came down, a tiny glimmer shot up inside the smoke. An ice spike—the mage lives! Such a huge pool of mana for a human. Incredible. But her spikes are flying towards the sky.  _ ‘The smoke must be reducing her accuracy. The others have engaged in battle within as well.’ _ Auri pondered whether to help or not.

_ “But you ended up helping us anyway. Why is that?” _

Kaidan spoke quietly, trying not to wake up the woman leaning on the side of his lap. Is he getting too comfortable around her? This feeling hasn’t visited him in a long time. No matter, it’s not as if they have any need to be so formal around each other anyway. Their little game got dragged until past midnight. Everyone had already fallen asleep so it’s now up to Kaidan and Auri to finish the remaining bottle of Jagga. 

“I couldn’t quite put it myself yet. She could have saved herself y’know. But she risked it. Not because she was brave, it certainly didn’t felt like that.” Auri studies the lady’s sleeping face. It’s so... Lost. Like one still searching for a place in this world. “She jumped in because she valued your safety more than she was scared. I know how that looks... how that feels.” She trails off, drinking down a huge gulp to keep her mind from straying far. “When she greeted me, I knew right there that it’s gonna be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I would never see you people again, much less guarantee you’re still breathing even if I did. I hadn’t packed everything but my necessities were ready since I was out hunting often. I’m glad everyone accepted me all the same.” She giggled. “It just surprised me that you were in the middle of a much more intriguing mission.”

“Didn’t you feel any worry, getting caught up in a mission against the Dominion?” Kaidan asked. Ashamed to admit it but at first, the swordsman had a frosty disposition against the bosmer. He thought of her as yet another spy since Valenwood is under heavy Thalmor influence.

“There wasn’t anything to worry about. The ones who’ll have an opinion on my decisions are back in Valenwood, where I couldn’t return to either way so I simply yearned for a change in routine.” She replied, eyes falling to her cup. She laughed out loudly, robbing Kaidan the chance to ask what she meant by her last sentence. “It’s  _ really  _ hard to cut out bits of their flesh, reserve and consume it all before they expire.” That detail could have stayed unmentioned if anyone cared to ask the swordsman. Kaidan felt some slight movement from the woman and he gazed down just in time to see her scrunch her eyes open.

He raises a brow, studying the condition of his companion. “Headache?”

“...No. Uhh.. I passed out. Wow.” She said in a stuffy voice. He rarely hears her like that as she only gets out of her tent when she’s already wide awake. He found it pleasant in some ways. For someone who chase bandits for a living, she’s surprisingly cute.

“We were just talking about the day I found your group.” Auri kindly puts her up to speed. “I’ll go on and prepare your bedroll.” “Oh, Auri no. I can do that...” the woman wobbles up to her feet. Auri insisted and asked him to look after their friend.

“Let ‘er do that for you as our hostess. You rest up. We’ll proceed with the plan to return back to Riften tomorrow, remember?” He reminds her and she nods, sitting on the ground. He would too but he’ll have to unequip his armor first, which he won’t—not in a place like this. This sturdy log would be just fine. “Hey. Sure that lad won’t fuss over you being a thief? He doesn’t look like the sort to be open about such things.”

“It wouldn’t hurt if we all keep it a secret, right? Temporarily of course. I can just meet with the guild on my own.” She looks at the other three snoring and fast asleep. “We can trust Lucien. I can feel it.”

“Aye, you got good judgement but you know you can’t keep relying on your intuition every time, right?”

“Kai.. When do you think you’ll fulfill your debt?” She asked, looking up to him. Is there supposed to be another meaning to that? “You want me to stop followin’ you around, is that it?”

“No..!” She whispered sharply, “Yes? I don’t know... You might get hurt if all of you keep traveling with me.” Her shoulders fell with a sigh, face falling to her palms. “What’s with that question? Isn’t that exactly what I signed up for when I gave you my word? Everyone accepted the risks, too.” He said and her response further confused the swordsman. “I know.... I don’t know why I said that. Sounded weak, didn’t it?” She murmured. If there’s anything off, it’s her. She was just merrily getting everyone drunk earlier and now she’s sulking over something. “Hey, maybe you’re tired. Didn’t we just planned to travel to the Rift together? Why are you asking me this out of the blue... are you alright?” he instinctively reached out but she flinches to meet his eyes before he could touch her.

“I’m.... fine. Sorry if I blabbered just now..”

“Oi.. You can talk to m—”

“I’ve rolled out some beds from your packs. I hope you don’t mind.” Auri’s timing was just perfect. The nameless lady spent no time lingering and wished him a good night’s rest when she hurried away.

Was it the liquor or lighting? He couldn’t make out her face clearly. She said it was just random talk but when she faced him earlier she looked.... somewhat frightened.

* * *

_ Why are you angry? Is it because you blame someone or is it because you blame yourself? _

Not enough. Your knowledge is not enough. You should have studied more instead of sneaking out with those thieves! He says it’s okay but there’s blood. Blood! Blood coming out of his stomach wound. Blood on your hands. Blood all over the place.

_ Just stab him and get it over with. _

The walls shook and the ceiling cracked as light pierces in. Your throat throbbed painfully as you screamed and screamed and agonized to no end. As if that’ll stop the roof from coming undone. Someone snatched you away from the corpse and sped away. They were berating you yet you couldn’t understand why they’re going the opposite way. The enemy’s right there... Right there, descending from the destroyed roof. Why aren’t your  _ saviors _ putting up a fight? You see the figure kneel beside the lifeless man. It was a mage. From the mansion’s narrow hallway filled with smoke and dirt, your eyes never left them. The suffocating smell of their corrupted magic mixed within the air and it’s painful to breathe in. Look what they did to your home... How disgusting these vile, repulsive wretches are! But you couldn’t give a damn. All you remember is the aura they gave off, the mask they had on, the color of their robes.... It was a deep shade of wine red.

_ Do you remember yet? Because it started here. _

Frozen in shock and fear. Drenched in the blood of people who shouldn’t have been involved in this. Why did your fury only manifested in a childish tantrum? Why do they have to die when the target is you? Why are you being saved even if this is all your fault?

_ It's yours. _

_ Yours. _

_ “Stop it!” _

You open your eyes into a pitch black nothingness. Even the ground you’re standing on is lost in the eternal dark. But you already know what this is. All the emotions swirling inside you gradually faded and you’ve got your hands on the wheel again. “Gather your focus, you can do this.” You whispered, turning your head to where the voice came from.  _ ‘Good. It’s working.’  _ You didn’t expect lucid dreaming this time but it’s now or never.

Inhale. Exhale. Once more. Close your eyes.

_ “Stop, my lady. Don’t say that.” _

There it is. You turned around, closely following the woman’s echo with eyes closed. “Don’t lose now. Steady your breathing.” You murmured.

_ “Don’t blame yourself any further. They would want you to survive no matter what.” _

_ “They want me to.... What they wanted me to do was to keep quiet about my identity until it’s time and study the books at home.” _

This now is your voice, no doubt. But younger. Angrier. Trembling as it tries very hard not to choke on tears. You sound so hoarse. Like the lump in your throat isn’t going away. It’ll only build up more and more with every word you spit out. A combination of bitterness and resentment oozing out of that quiet voice you always had.

_ “But then I.. Instead... while they.. While my parents heal Imperial soldiers without rest... I was running around playing vigilante with thieves whenever we’re in Cyrodiil..” _

Out of surprise, your eyes snap open—but unlike your expectation, you didn’t wake up yet. It’s still an empty void all around. Braving to push as far as you can this time, you approach the girl heaving for dear life. Bit by bit, a figure comes into vision.

_ It’s you. _

You carefully reach out but the person distorts and fades like ripples of water whenever you get too close, so you put in some distance and let the scene play out.

Is this truly you at one point? Gloomy, thinner, shorter, a girl in the middle of her teens by the looks of it. Each lace and piece of fabric embroidered in the corseted dress spoke some level of nobility, despite all the blood smears and damage it had suffered. That and the ‘mansion’ you call ‘home’ make sense now. This is...  _ ‘I should wake up and write this down!’  _ declared yourself, but seeing the younger you break down into tears as the shadowed woman embraces her tight enough to make you squeeze your arm—you just couldn’t leave yet.

_ “I killed them. My knowledge of restoration wasn’t enough.. So I had to.. I.. with the blade they gave me. If only I studied more...”  _ The girl mourned, taking short breaks to breathe in as much as she can despite edging near wheezing. 

Only your voice was clear and so all the others are distorted, blurry, or reduced to echoes which you couldn’t make much of unless you focus on it. This time, however, this scene with whoever this woman is, is the first time you’ve seen it. Thankfully you can understand them all so far.

_ “All the gods must be laughing, don’t you think so? I broadened my limits to almost every school of magic except restoration... I never touched it. Never..” _

You walked around the scene until you’re facing your younger version. Her swollen lids were as red as her nose. Lips almost that of a corpse from crying too much and skin must be pale from dehydration as well. Such an emotional scene unfolds in front of you and you’re supposed to be the first to relate but... You can’t share those feelings yet. No grief, no fury. All you can do is watch and feel sorry for the stranger who looks just like you. If this is your memory, why are you viewing this as an outsider?

_ “I always thought they’d take care of it if I ever needed healing. That they’d always be around. It has to be a joke. This is the stupidest prank I ever pulled on myself...”  _ The lass scoffed bitterly, shaking in resentment. “ _ I never took the threats seriously... I brought ruin to our lives. I don’t even know if I am as great as they always claim.. Me? How can anyone be even sure now that a failure like me is the Last Dragonborn—” _

What was that?

You took a step closer to hear that last part but your foot went right in and gravity started pulling you hard as you fall. Shit.  _ Shit. _ So close and yet—

_ ‘What the hell is this? I’m not waking up...’ _

“Wake up! Just keep living and don’t look back.”

Who was that? You spin around, searching the empty void with heavy lids. Are they closed or wide open? 

“Don’t bother remembering. Keep surviving!”

_ ‘Where am I? Aren’t I just falling a while ago?’ _

“Resist it! It’s trying to locate you!”

The voices overlapped in a deafening screech inside your mind. Are they telling you to run away? From what? Who? And with a blink of an eye, everything flashes at once. Your mind spins in a hazy whirlpool of memories filled with laughter and deaths. Blood. Shadows. Witch. Thieves. Wine Red. Fire—the ones that stood out in this rapid loop and it hurts to get carried away, _it’s_ _splitting your brain_.

Not this again.

You cower, wrapping your arms around your head while trying to force yourself awake.

...

...

“Trouble sleeping?”

You shifted your head slightly towards your companion. There are trees everywhere and it’s dark. But it’s safe.  _ You’re not alone _ . The lake looks magical under the clear night sky that you couldn’t fully tear your gaze away. “I’m scared,” you whispered. “the witch got me. It’s still inside me isn’t it...?”

The thin howl of cold breeze filled in the silence for a minute, but you knew he didn’t leave.

“The witch is burned to ash and so is their map. They are... dead.” That tiny pause held an ounce of hesitation. “Come on, now. We have work tomorrow.”

“You go on, my friend. I... can’t sleep. I don’t want nightmares distracting me during the mission.” The words fell smoothly as if your mouth moved on its own accord. Where is this place again? “Do you still remember the tea recipe I taught you?” he already got his back turned by how he sounded.

“No.”

“That’s unfortunate. No matter. I am sure you’ll do better from now on. I am not here anymore but it’s relieving you’re not alone.” Huh? It’s just the two of you travelling. What is he talking about? “... You’re not making any sense.” You say, still not looking away from the crystalline waters. Out of all the khajiits you’ve met, Inigo is the most caring about your well being.

“ _ He he he _ . But it is you giving this one life.” He snickered and the air suddenly felt heavy.  _ ‘What the... I feel so stiff. I can’t move a limb.’ _ He’s still there, but what did he meant by it? He’s right there isn’t he? Why does he feel like a different person... If you could just turn around, you’ll prove yourself wrong.

_ He’s still alive, right? _

Wait! It’s Inigo, of course he’s alive. What’s wrong with your mind?

“Don’t let  _ it  _ weaken your mind.  _ Focus. _ ” He spoke sternly.

There’s that screeching noise again...

“Whatever you do,  _ don’t cast the spell _ .” His voice grows faint, drowning in the screeches approaching closer and closer around you. You fought but your body won’t listen! “What do you mean!?” You screamed in panic, “They’re already dead, right? You said so yourself!! What is it—”

“Calm yourself, my lady! Breathe in and tell me what you see.” The warm, tender voice sounded like an echo being swept by the wind.

What I see....?

_ ‘Colourful leaves and petals are falling gently.’ _

...

_ ‘Spring blossoms make the Rift even more majestic under moonlight.’ _

“Hey...?”

_ ‘Wonder if it looks just as mesmerizing during the day.’ _

“Hey.”

_ ‘Ah.. The screeches are gone... Who was that I was talking to…?’ _

You turn around in a daze and find Kaidan instead, holding your arm with concern showing in his face. That’s strange… Pretty sure it wasn’t him you were with a while ago. You raise your brow a little and he accepts the acknowledgement. “It’s too late to be dipping in the lake. Too early to be up training.” He remarked. You take advantage of his patience to look around. Yeah, it’s night time. Six little tents are propped up around the campfire. The stars and moons shone brightly that your group didn’t need to keep the fire huge. Looking behind, the lake behind those trees is just about a minute or two away. There’s a dirt path connecting to a larger one beside your camp and an old road sign with an arrow, reading ‘To Riften City’.

Kaidan lets go of your arm to gently grab your shoulder. “We’ll get to Riften very soon. Are you alright? What’s wrong?” his hand slightly grazes your exposed skin and the warmth tingles a bit. It’s an odd sensation. Feels familiar but very long ago. Why are you both dressed so lightly anyway? He didn’t had any armor on, just that dark pair of sleeves and trousers and you’re equally stripped of your leather ones as well. You scrunch your eyes a bit, recognizing the tunic and pants you’re wearing as your sleeping attire.

Suddenly your heart stopped. The thumping grew louder and louder in your head as you leave Kaidan, sprinting barefoot towards the only tent with a light on. How can you be so stupid?! How the hell did you even manage to get that far without being fully conscious? You could have hurt yourself if Kaidan wasn’t there to wake you up! Quick. Quick! Write down the dream. Something sharp must have pricked your foot as it started to sting but you got to your tent.

_ ‘Journal. Paper. Anything. The quill, grab the quill. It’s nearby—where’s the damn ink! Please, please, let me just...’ _

You stare blankly at the empty page but your hands didn’t move. It froze until the trembling began to creep in. Nothing. Not a damn thing. Tears slowly welled up in your eyes as frustration seeps in. You couldn’t write. It’s gone. Deep inside, you knew there’s still a chance to get in touch with the memory. It’s  _ yours  _ after all. But how much longer? It took you almost a month to get this far. With but a few minutes, the details cleared itself from your mind. You knew it was important, you just can’t put it together what exactly happened. Did you get ahead of yourself? Are you forcing these dreams to occur too much? The squeezing in your chest became unbearable and you finally let out all the breath you were holding, then followed the tears.

“Oi, why’d you run off like that? I know something’s troubling you.”

It’s Kaidan. What on Nirn is he doing following you here? He should just go to sleep already. Maybe letting you mull over in self defeat will be best for everyone. “You’re not puttin’ out your lamp so I know you’re awake. You gotta talk to me if there’s a problem.” He whispered with a little more volume and then cursed something under his breath. “Fine.. I’m going in.”

True enough, Kaidan carefully welcomes himself despite your lack of answer. His persistence is horribly untimely. You can tell he’s making an interesting expression right now with the way he caught his breath. It’s been a bit messy—you tossed the whole place upside down to find your quill after all. “Are you crying?”

_ Horrible timing, swordsman. Horrible. _

You refused to pull yourself away from the journal even when he called you another time. Apparently, you prefer burying your face in like a dead soldier instead of talking it out with a willing listener. “Yes. Can’t you see my foot’s bleeding? It hurts. Now go to sleep.” You responded dryly. It took a number of seconds before you hear him search through your belongings. This time he didn’t ask for permission. He grabs your wounded foot, dragging you a little and starts cleaning it. You turned and prop on your elbows out of reflex, shooting him a puzzled look.

“I’m not forcing you to talk but you can’t leave an open wound; it’ll fester. We’re short on healing potions and I’m not about to let the only healer here fall ill.”

“You’re acting weird, Kaidan. What’s up with you?”

“What’s up with  _ you _ ?” He returns. “Ever since Auri’s camp, I’ve been meaning to talk to you but.. Well. Lots of dangers on the way here.”

‘ _ Me? ME? Ever since Auri’s....’  _ Your addled brain did its best to trace the current time. After that night of drinking and playing games, your little group set out for Riften. Kaidan would always be on look out while Lucien and Inigo fill up your schedule with just their random topics. They were entertaining, yes, but it also left you little to no time at all to check on Kaidan. Upon entering the Rift, scattering bandits would attempt to ambush travellers only to get arrested by patrols. Still, it pushed everyone to be on high alert and keep silent even while camping. That’s why the fire’s burning low and you’re camping not far from the road. But still—

“Why am I the strange one?” your brows speak for themselves.

“Don’t give me that puzzled look. You’ve been-..”

Kaidan suddenly stops and it only injected more confusion in the atmosphere. “I what?” you huffed, dropping on your back so he can proceed tending your wound. The man let a few seconds flew by, scanning the items, mainly your open journal before he realize he’s crossing a line. His eyes drops back to your foot. “Having nightmares?” He asked. Sure, that’s obviously not what he was going to say earlier but you’d kill to have someone take your mind off the frustrating situation you just had.

Shrugging, you kept your eyes shut. “Maybe. Can memories be nightmares? Ah... I sound so stupid.” You scoffed when he took too long to respond, “Of course it can.”

“Your memories are returning?”

“ _ Heh.  _ I wish it did without all these complications. I’d dream about it, I’d live it, yet look at my journal. There's barely anything concrete written in it. Everything clears out when I wake.” You inhaled deeply and felt your breath shook as you let it out. “Why is it so hard to access my memories? They’re  _ mine _ . I just don’t understand. I’ve been experiencing this for weeks already.”

“That’s not so bad,” Kaidan mused. “that’s a good progress considering the time it took.” He’s got a point. Others who’d suffered brain or mental damage due to magic would rarely get their memories or personalities fully intact. Those who do can testify how difficult to the point of giving up the process was.” Hell, suffering a physical injury from magic is enough for someone to agree how dangerous magic is. He should know.

“Progress, huh. Can I really call it like that? To gain something but lose all of it whenever I open my eyes. The spell had already been undone.. But it feels like part of me is still sealed inside.” She’s unusually depressing today. But then again, it’s impossible to be as carefree as she makes it appear in front of them. He knew she was still hiding something.

The swordsman finished wrapping up her foot and she sat up. “Thanks. Sorry for waking you up... I’m just lost in my situation. I ran out of ideas on how to get around with it.” she confessed, probably feeling sheepish for dismissing him earlier. Silence loomed the cramped space—it’s supposed to be for one person only anyway, but Kaidan kept his gaze fixed on her. Sizing up her words carefully, he exhaled through his nose, an intent to follow it with advice evident in his expression.

“I see. You do seem to be in a complicated spot. Why not talk it out and see if we can help?” Kaidan crosses his arms and gives the woman a knowing look. He’s ready to listen, a bit thrilled to hear something about her for once and not always the other way around.

“Really? I hadn’t thought of that... You’re right. I guess I should, right?” the woman let out a relieved scoff.

“Sure. You can always talk—”

“I’ll go to Inigo for a while. You can stay here if you want but don’t clutter up my stuff.” And with that the woman was gone in a second, off to companion number one and leaving Kaidan suddenly dumbfounded.

“.... to me.”

He did try, didn’t he?

* * *

**HAPPY NEW LIFE FESTIVAL, DRAGONBORNS!!! THIS IS MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE FANDOM XD!!**

(They're my ACTUAL default team in game)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeyy~ Have you checked out my Christmas/Saturalia special "Journal Entries"? XD I based it in this fanfic and also included 4 pages of potato comic/fanart in there XD I hope you like it! <3 Thanks for sticking by!! xoxo


	26. Strange Behaviors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan knew his companion's been messed up by magic but something ominous is occurring lately.

**025**

**Strange Behaviors**

“And how are you sure these are actual memories?” Inigo scratches his jaw, ears bending as he yawns. The two of them are sitting face to face inside his tent, the dim lamp providing just enough lighting. It surprised him when she snuck in, usually he’ll hear it but maybe his senses were too exhausted from his lookout duty yesterday. She stayed quiet for seconds, lips forming into a firm line before she found the words.

“The emotion remains. I don’t know how to explain it properly. Say I woke up furious and realize I was dreaming, but I couldn’t even put my mind on what made me so.. I’ll immediately detect it as a memory. If I was dreaming, I’d remember at least a bit of it even hours later. But these  _ flashbacks _ .. It feels like they’re getting erased seconds after I wake up.”

“That’s a long and scary way to describe a bad sleep.” The blue khajiit attempted to mix in humor but immediately dropped it. “Err... I’m glad you trust me with your troubles, my friend. But if what you say is true, that you’ve been having these horrible nights for some time now, shouldn’t we be turning to the temple?”

“Temple? Oh no, you must have gotten the wrong idea. You know what to do. See, I wasn’t looking for a way to stop this but to get it under control. I thought I might as well tell you my concerns while I’m at it.” She offered the blue cat a tiny smile.

“Me?”

“Yes, you dummy. What’s with the surprised face?” the woman chuckled, “Didn’t you taught me a special tea recipe before? To help me with my sleep. I may not get around with these bothersome dreams for now but I want to wake up feeling emotionally rested for once.” But Inigo had this confused look written all over him.

The khajiit’s brow knitted, “What do you mean? I don’t know any recipes, my friend. I’ve never even tried making my own drink before.”

Her smile fades and confusion flickers on her face. “You sure? I.. I knew it was you. We were on a mission back then and...” she trails off, looking away. Seeing him just as lost must have messed up with her trail of thoughts. Inigo can’t agree with her when he doesn’t remember himself but he doesn’t want to further add to her jumbled memories.

“I-I think we’re both having lapses in our memories, my friend. Maybe time will tell if I really knew such a recipe or not.” He comforted and she accepts the assurance with a thankful nod before exiting his tent.

Once she was out of earshot, he allowed himself to release a deep breath and lie down. “Let’s take a recap Mr. Dragonfly.” He whispered, “After my brother died, I joined a group of bandits. Unfortunately, I also discovered skooma which sent me to a faster road to self destruction. After that, I left with another addict, Felix. We were companions for months but our skooma addiction became worse. Money grew short and so when Felix suddenly rushed in my room.... I ended up slayi-...” he groaned, unable to recite the things he regrets. It’s already hard enough to resist the need for that vile drug. Being reminded of how he willfully threw away his honor for it in the past only hurts more. “Then I met her.. I know it was her. Right Mr. Dragonfly?” but Mr. Dragonfly remained silent. Maybe he is sleeping. Inigo closed his eyes, hoping that in doing so, his mind would also stop replaying these shameful memories. This wouldn’t do. He really does want to be of help to her this time but he has to be honest, too.

With how she described her situation, his friend would naturally want to find a way to get answers for the ever growing list of questions she has. One thing is for sure, though.

Whoever she was talking about, it wasn’t him.

* * *

Rumarin stretched out his legs before slouching back to the chair. The Bee and Barb is as lively and noisy during the evening as always. That also comes with the abominable smell of sweat and dirt invasively permeating the air. Last time he wanted to stay here in Riften, now he’s more than ready to pack and leave after staying in the city for two days.

“Seriously, the city is a dunghole. Except the plaza. I suppose that’s where all the charm went.” The high elf snorted, sipping what’s left in his tankard.

“Really? I thought the city’s quite decent, despite being rumored to be a city of thieves.” Lucien chimed in. Obviously, he hasn’t wandered off to the back alleys or paid attention when Inigo and Kaidan prevented his pockets from getting picked on.  _ Twice _ .

Rumarin huffed, “Tell you what, let’s take a five minute stroll behind Haelga’s bunkhouse. Who knows, maybe we can see some stabbing there. If we’re lucky, we’ll find both kinds.”

“Er... What  _ kind? _ ” the confused imperial asked only to be cut off by Auri. “Don’t mind him, Lucien. He’s just bored. I’ll tell you something. In Valenwood, being a good thief can be rewarded.” She started, knowing this’ll get his attention off the altmer’s crude joke. “In most cases, the thief can sell the stolen items for profit should the owner wish it back.”

“Really, huh. Guess we should just tell our lady friend to do her  _ business _ in Valenwood.” Rumarin swilled his drink and choked upon catching Auri’s sharp glare piercing through the tankard and straight to his neck.

“Business?”

“Nothing..! First off, I doubt any of you will survive the forests there. Lucien, I did tell you the other day how large our trees are compared to Cyrodiil’s Great Forest, right?” the bosmer hurriedly engaged Lucien in a conversation regarding the wildlife in her homeland, leaving no room for Rumarin to comment to.

_ ‘Right.... We weren’t supposed to tell this guy about that woman being a guild member.’  _ Rumarin lazily berated himself. Where in oblivion are those three anyway and why is he stuck with these two? Oh! They haven’t ducked out to make coins for themselves, have they? That would just be terrible.

Like an answered prayer, the back door creaked open. Cool wind rushes in, much to his gratitude, fanning away the offensive stench that’s been stuffing Rumarin’s nose for a while now. Two burly men in dark leather armors stepped in and following behind are Kaidan and Inigo.  _ ‘Uh oh. This can’t be good.’ _ Rumarin knew right off the bat that a seething Kaidan equals bad news and Inigo’s scowl only adds to this notion. The three immediately made their way to them, with Lucien leading too fast.

“You need to ease down. She’s not in danger. We told you already. It’s strictly guild matters.” The altmer barely heard one say.

“Be thankful Mercer allowed you to walk out unscathed. He’s unusually lenient to the two of you, considering you’re both non members.”

Without offering a chance to respond, the shady looking men are gone by the time they reached their companions.

“Is something wrong? She’s not with you.” Worry bloomed over the young imperial’s face. Yes, Lucien, thank you for the input.

Kaidan glanced at them and contrary to what the altmer expects, they drop their frowning and briefly exchanged looks with Auri.

“Uh-.. She’s.. in the temple. Wanted something checked.”

“She’ll be back soon. She promised. I don’t think we should hurry her if she wanted some time to pray alone.” Sheez, Kaidan’s really bad at improv. Good thing Inigo’s a team player. Oh wait, maybe he can play these games with him to kill time on the road. Rumarin snapped out of his thoughts when Inigo waved a hand in front of him. “Hello? You listening? I said escort Lucien to rent some rooms. We’ll spend the night here.”

“What? Why me?”

“You’re the one he’s paying so I think escorting him around is part of what you signed up for.” The khajiit shrugged. Too tired to argue, the high elf squinted and sighed, sauntering away towards the imperial who’s already on it.

With the two gone, Inigo glanced around before moving to an emptier spot in the tavern.

“How bad is it?” The bosmer didn’t beat around the bush. Their brutish friend groaned quietly, “The leader was in a foul mood when we got there. Said she was late by a week or so. He didn’t seem to have any murderous intentions towards her but he ordered her to stay behind before throwing us out.” They should have known Mercer is much better than killing off his top performer, especially with Brynjolf all for discussing things calmly. And just like what the guy before said, if she were to be eliminated, Mercer wouldn’t let the two of them resurface here and keep their breaths. She should be fine but holding on that alone can’t dispel the anxiousness they feel right now. Kaidan nearly clashed blades with the whole guild if it weren’t for the woman telling him to stand down and give them time.

Inigo bit down the snarl boiling inside him. “We should just trust her for now.”

“I can trust her. I don’t trust Mercer.” Kaidan growled lowly, “That man whiffs of bad news.”

_ ‘You don’t say, my brooding friend.’  _ Of course, an official guild of organized thieves with control over the black-market and an entire city wouldn’t simply be led by a sneaky bastard with a golden heart. That sort appeared to remain back in Cyrodiil. The thieves’ guild here is just a bunch of rounded up robbers and burglars. There are a few exceptions of course but that doesn’t erase the general image. “That’s why I said what I said. We can’t do anything right now.” The khajiit insisted.

“Inigo is right.” Auri intervened, hoping to counter the swordsman’s sour mood with her next words, “I’m sure we can all agree on the fact that she can handle herself.” But Kaidan’s expression only darkened.

“None of you understand—I need to watch over her.” He said through greeted teeth “I have to clear my head.” He breathed before storming out of the inn.

Inigo prevented Auri from going after him, “He’s no troublemaker.” He says, offering the bosmer an apology in behalf of the swordsman. Lucien and Rumarin came shortly after and they all went upstairs to get their rests. Not Inigo though. Much to his disliking, his mind couldn’t relax. The khajiit laid on top of the bed, pondering about his friend’s condition and Kaidan’s response. That man’s paranoia isn’t kicking in again, is it? Even Mr. Dragonfly couldn’t give him any advice aside that it wouldn’t do any good to put too much thought into this matter.

* * *

_ Earlier in The Guild Hideout.... _

No matter how much you try, you couldn’t break away from Mercer’s death glare. The man leaning on the desk emitted a forbidding aura—not that he was trying to mask it anyway. When the three of you walked in, the guild leader was already overflowing with bloodlust for reasons you couldn’t care less about. Knowing that you’re about a week late to give your report further ignited his anger. So here you are now, three companions standing in the middle of this cistern with the light pouring from above adding more dramatic flair to the situation.

“You’re late.”

His scratchy voice echoed throughout this sewer palace but what made the pressure unbearable was the ominous tone it held directed to your companions.

“The results weren’t.” You replied coolly. Either cower and freeze under this tension or stand your ground. Mercer’s scowl turned into something more menacing and you swallowed the lump building quickly in your throat. “Of course, I do apologize for not making it in time. But I believe the operations on my side went smoothly after.”

“She’s right, Mercer. Lass remained in contact as well this time.” Delvin tried to chip in only to be snarled at by Mercer.

“Is that how lenient we are now, Delvin?!” Barked the fuming thief. Brynjolf and Vex and the rest of the guild separated themselves from their leader’s vicinity but maintained a close distance. “She might be one of our top dogs but we sure as hell ain’t playing favorites here. Breaking rules have consequences. Are we clear!?” Mercer yelled, silencing the whole place even more. His wrathful gaze was latched onto you for a moment before he spoke again, “I’m forfeiting your pay, y’hear me?”

“S’that it?” The swordsman who’d been quiet up to this point finally snapped. “You knew she needed the time to shake off the Thalmor from her tail, right?! What she did favors this rotten guild. You’re just too damn greedy is why this shithole is crumbling apart—”

“Friend, don’t.”

“ _ Kaidan. _ ”

Despite both your and Inigo’s warning, Kaidan didn’t heed and insisted on running his mouth. “Well aren’t you an ungrateful bastard? I don’t remember asking you. I let you two outsiders strut in and out of here to show generosity. Did I spoil your companion here too much? Maybe it’s time to teach her a lesson.” The guild master’s daggers gleamed as he brandishes it and Kaidan met him in equal fury, grabbing the nodachi resting on his back “Go ahead and try, you son of a bitch.” He bit back, charging towards Mercer.

The swordsman gritted his teeth, assuming a defensive stance when both of Mercer’s daggers came flying towards him. Kaidan’s combat reflexes are fast but it has its limits. A perfectly timed swing of the sword deflects the master thief’s twin blades but it won’t make it in time to counter the third one—Kaidan’s more than prepared for this.

But not you.

_ CLANG! CLANG! _

Loud noises of metals consecutively hitting the stoned ground echoed as it slid across the damp floor. Kaidan counted two,  _ ‘What about the third?’ _ his eyes darted around and was only able to see the thin dark blade when it revealed itself by slowly rotating vertically whilst floating in place.  _ ‘What the... The angle made it easy to overlook.’  _ He soon realized it was the woman who put a stop to it before it can reach him.

She stood there devoid of any emotion, yet the danger in the aura she’s giving off matched Frey’s. 

“You got some nerve picking up a fight within our turf, punk.” Mercer’s enraged mood seemed to have dwindled down—did she take him by surprise there? Some including Brynjolf are looking hesitant, although the rest got their weapons out. Still, nobody is making a move yet.  _ ‘Fucking hell. What now... _ ’ Kaidan cursed to himself, unable to deny that he’d suffer a fatal would if it were not for his companion’s intervention. It’s just three of them, but they’ll manage to put up a fight.  _ ‘Just really need to be careful—’ _

“Kaidan, put your sword away.”

Is she kidding him right now? “He just threatened you!”

“Put the sword away.” When her eyes fell on him, he immediately froze. Her voice was as emotionless as her expression. But he knew better than to get swayed by her calm demeanor.

He didn’t think he’d see that shuddering look again and  _ so soon. _ Those eyes which always regarded them with warmth held no such thing aside from cold anger. It already feels close enough in comparison to the ones she’d been displaying nights before.  _ ‘One thing’s certain, she’s bloody pissed alright.’  _ Inigo’s probably a better listener, still standing behind her but maintaining vigilance. Kaidan sheathed the sword without another word.

The other two daggers started moving until all three of it now revolved around her.  _ ‘The bloody hell is going on now?’ _ he eyed the situation with more caution than from moments ago—except this time he couldn’t figure out which side to be more cautious of.

“I stand with my earlier statement. The documents you needed may have arrived late but the results were already received by the guild on time.” She claimed, keeping the daggers afloat. Didn’t imagine there’d be a time he’ll hear cutthroats talk like businessmen under a smelly sewer.

“Do whatever you wish with my cut. I’ll get thrice the amount anyway after taking a bigger task.”

The guild master cackled almost in mockery, “Who said I’ll give you one?” he scoffed.

“You heard my companion here.” She argued, “I’ve successfully crossed out our names from the Thalmor’s list. I’m eligible to take bigger jobs.”

“Hmph. Yeah.. Heard those bastards in Helgen were exposed doing illegal detentions.” Mercer leaned back, returning to his relaxed position on the desk. “Could only suppose you had something to do with that.” the brashness is still present, but he won’t lash out with his current tone. He’s being cautious of the situation.

Corners of her lips curled ever so slightly. “Let’s just say I only pulled the trigger and let everything unfold. Gone is the Helgen outpost and with it our bounties. Now I’m only here for business.” She tilted her head, face still eerily blank. “Mr. Frey, tell me. You would prefer these,” the blades suddenly lit up when she raised her palms; crackling, sparking, and flickering with elemental magic consuming each steel, “..pointed towards your enemies, yes?”

Mercer spat, “Now  _ that  _ sounds like you. You threatenin’ us now, huh?” Their lady friend simply clasped her hands together, amplifying the magical display. “Of course not. They’re not even pointed towards anybody. I just wanted to know if our interests are still aligned.”

This is so wrong. Intimidating the  _ whole  _ guild and playing at the edge of their rules. She knows her value enough to use it accordingly; no wonder Mercer hates her guts. Even Vex wouldn’t make a noise. Everyone’s acting like a mute save for these two. And this woman.... Did she always have this air of authority around her? Months. They’ve travelled for months since the escape. Why is she only showing this now?  _ ‘This scene is ridiculous!’  _ the swordsman internally complained.

“Of course. I forgot it’s your cunning way with words and tricks that earned you your fame this fast inside the guild—”

“That’s quite enough, Mercer. She already accepted your punishment. We can’t waste anymore time. Let’s just get down to business right away.” Brynjolf cut in. Compared to before, everyone’s attentions were now equally divided to Mercer and the woman.

“I don’t think businesses are discussed with weapons drawn.” She declared. After she’s been carefully studied, Frey signaled everyone to stand down and she gently dropped the daggers right after. Kaidan didn’t miss Inigo glancing around in bewilderment—he did too, just less obvious. She just talked her way through again. Maybe he really ought to behave like Inigo before deciding to settle things with brute force.  _ ‘Got what she wanted without getting rough and dirty, huh?’ _ Kaidan reckoned. And it wouldn’t be a stretch to say she intimidated Mercer Frey, too. Enough at least for him to see reason again. Merchants call it the art of speech craft for a reason after all.

That’s when the bastard forced him and Inigo out.

“And I don’t think businesses are discussed with outsiders around.” The grumbling leader glared at them. Unsurprisingly, she compromised despite their objections. Guess it was the best route for her to have them return back without further consequences from his earlier actions. “I’ll be back. Here buy yourself something.” She promised, tossing a piece of jewel at him. “Meet you soon.” She said before the other thieves escorted them back to the Bee and Barb.

“ _ ‘Soon’ _ my arse.” Kaidan muttered, hands tightly wrapped at the bottle of Velvet LeChance he got for himself. Cooling off in the city streets didn’t work and it would be more troublesome to linger after midnight, so jumping back to extinguishing the flames of his fury with alcohol it is. Good thing he kept the flawless amethyst she gave him earlier. Talen-Jei offered him several of the unique beverages they were selling in exchange for it. The argonian didn’t state why he’s so eager for it, though the swordsman surmised it was meant for Keerava.

How can the others rest so casually? How can he rest at all? He should be looking after her as much as possible. Especially after she started acting strange.  _ ‘Not to mention, the night she said those things... Why is she acting like she doesn’t remember? Could it be she really has no memory of it? By Shor, that’s even creepier!’ _ Sure, he’s growing suspicious of her and that alone should be enough for any man to turn heel and make a run for it; words honoured or not. He’s also got the decryption of his sword to do to keep him busy.

“I can’t,” another swig, another whisper. “I don’t bloody know why I can’t.” The frustrated man drowned his complications, yet the more he took in, the more he mulled over that disturbing night.

* * *

It happened days after departing Auri’s place. They decided to make camp outside of Helgen since the stables are located within walking distance. As per agreement, Kaidan is on lookout that night. He was getting himself occupied with cleaning his armor and weapons when he heard something scraping; a twig carving on the ground. It came from his employer’s tent. She always stayed up late—or so he thought.

At first it was only light and faint and nothing to be curious about. But moments after, the noises became louder, and little by little its pattern grew more hurried. More agitated, more  _ violent _ if he were to describe it. Kaidan, just being slightly concerned, decided to check on the woman. But before he could make his presence known, he heard her muttering. She was breathing noisily but something felt sinister about it. It sounded broken, raspy even, to the point he wouldn’t be able to recognize it if he didn’t knew this was her tent.  _ ‘Is she having a nightmare? But she’s sitting right up. I can see her silhouette here.’  _ He could already feel the back of his hair rising just from the noise.

“Hey, what are you up to-...”

The man caught his breath when he slid open her curtain. His voice seemingly vanished along with his next words when he saw her slouched figure holding up the edge of the bedroll. The woman’s back rose up and down as she knelt and continued to breathe as if she were running out of air. In her other hand was a piece of dead wood, used to carve the ground with....

Shor’s bones.

_ ‘No way.. Those are Daedric symbols...’ _

As if his thoughts were heard loud and clear, the strange woman tilted her head back in the eeriest way possible and met him with vacant eyes. The look of someone who isn’t their self.

_ “Mortal...” _ she spoke in a raspy voice. What the hell is going on, is this a prank?! This better not be one of her—  _ “Can you free me...?” _ a pair of lifeless eyes latched on his nervous ones. Kaidan couldn’t find his voice. All he could do was stop himself from trembling as he trace out the symbols on the dirt. He couldn’t even draw his sword; it felt like his mind and body won’t agree whether or not she’s a threat. The woman received his silence as a declination and went back to her current activity.

For reasons unknown, Kaidan left the tent without a word and never took his eyes off it. Even after the lights were snuffed out, he remained on guard. He didn’t found the will to confront the woman once more. It wasn’t like him at all—come undead or spawns of oblivion; he won’t let fear bend his spirit. But that one.  _ That one. _ If that person suddenly rose to arms he wasn’t all that sure he’ll find it in himself to put his blade through her. That wasn’t the companion he knew.  _ ‘So who the hell was that speaking inside her tent?’  _ the man debated inside his mind the whole night on what action he should take—not realizing daybreak has finally arrived until the woman suddenly appeared in front of him and offered him water.

“Woah. You look tired, Kai. You can sleep once we get a ride.” She smiled, warmly, lively, just like her usual ones. “Thank you for keeping us safe tonight.” Her whole character reverted back to normal.

So does that mean earlier..? No, he was sure he’s awake that moment. Kaidan rushed to her tent, leaving the woman confused of his behavior.

Once he lifted her bedroll, the symbols were no more. It must have been erased before she went to sleep. But what kept him bothered for the rest of the journey were nights after that, the scratching were heard once more. So was his inability to peek inside; struggling not get too crept out. All he did was make sure the woman didn’t get out of her tent until the noises stop. Until on one occasion, she stepped out, but that time she didn’t carry a malevolent energy with her and so Kaidan felt it safe to approach her when she made her way to the lake. She did act strange, but not the spine-tingling strange he expected. Still, when he tried to finally confront her about her previous nights, her puzzled expression told him he’ll get the same answer; that she doesn’t remember. Kaidan knew that if he wanted an honest answer out of this, it’d be best if he investigated this on his own until he figures out what it is or if it’s actually her doing all along this time.

Those daedric symbols are a bad omen.

"Tch. Then there's that thing with leaving her with the guild. What could she be planning. By the Nine I hope I'm wrong." He slurred, gazing into his reflection inside the tankard. His memory takes him to the last night they spent under the stars before they got to Riften, he didn’t hear any strange noises but when he called her outside the tent, it was the blood-curdling voice that greeted him, and the words it spoke filled his head with all sorts of horrifying outcomes.

Softly, yet dripping with an unmistakable bloodlust in it, the voice sung to herself;

_ “One by one... Kill every last one of them... Rip out their beating hearts... Carve their eyes out… _

_ And feast on their blood... So I can be free... Then I am free...” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a slowpoke xux)/ I've just gotten my hands some time to play VIGILANT quest mod again XD Really amazing that one. Old but great <3 Ahh yes, and I've been working on art haha only got so many hours a day, again, my apologies XD XD Thank you for dropping by! <3
> 
> P.S. Lucien fans out there, I made a little tribute for our dear boooiii (with a bonus drawing of Kaidan lmao!) QwQ check it out on my tumblr~ (https://kittyplaysandcries.tumblr.com/post/190082503840/somewhere-down-in-your-travels-inigo-and-rumarin)


	27. Road Bumps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deadly carnivorous songbird, frustrated bard recovering from skooma, grim swordsman with identity issues, conjurer of questionable background, foolishly curious bookworm, and a sneaky bastard with flashy tricks all set out for their first journey to the capital of Skyrim. How many answers will they retrieve and how many more questions will pop up in its place?

**026**

**Road Bumps**

“Come over here already. They won’t be harmed so long as they behave.” Vex snaps her fingers to get your attention. You pulled the daggers and stacked them neatly on your hands before making your way to the officers.

_ “There she goes again with her flashy tricks.” “Thought we’d get some serious conflict earlier, though.”_

Some of the guild members’ gossiping reaches your ears as you pass by. Not that you mind. Once you step out of here, it won’t matter that much but... Can’t blame them for being alarmed. That little show escalated a bit, didn’t it?

Once you placed the weapons back on Mercer’s desk, you hear them chuckling, particularly at _ you_. Mercer’s face screws in a taunting grin from something Delvin remarked and you already get the hint you’re in for some ridiculing before you get started.

“Where’d you get that dog of yours? He’s very protective I’ll give ‘im that. Him and the cat.” Delvin cracks. “Please don’t address them as pets. They’re friends.” You courteously countered, making your superiors laugh even more. You swear to the love of the Divines, the moment you get your answer here, you'll drop out of this rathole in a heartbeat. “Anyone can be a friend for the right price.” The old man keeps pulling your leg, but that’s just him being normal. You let yourself humor Vex and Delvin for a short while, noticing that Brynjolf has occupied Mercer with talks over their latest business in Whiterun’s meadery.

Your attention was brought back to the two when Vex snarled at Delvin, “Who said I was scared? I was simply caught off guard.” She defended, “That guy just suddenly attacked Mercer. What surprised me more was her. Looked like she was about to incinerate the whole place down.”

“Right. Get that temper of yours under control, lass. You’re gonna give this ol’ man quite the scare.” Delvin warned. “Word of advice, try not to bring anymore friends here. Unless they plan on signin’ up, let’s keep the place off limits.”

“Listen to them, kid.” Tonlia stopped by to give you a bottle of water. “Visitors are welcome if they can keep their mouth shut. Still, it doesn’t mean we’ll start holding dinner parties here. We’re free to make ourselves known inside Riften but what about the other cities? If a friend of ours gets tangled up in operations, they’re automatically marked as a loose end.”

_ Everyone knows what happens to loose ends. _

“Hey brat, listen up!” Mercer finally joined in. “While I’m glad you played along, you better read faster next time. Back there, I thought you’d actually blow up the place.” He rebuked and you sheepishly offer your apologies for losing composure as Brynjolf gives his piece of mind. “Whoever you bring here is your responsibility alone, lass. Tell that to your friends.” Earlier you sensed Mercer was indeed angry, but after you stepped in his and Kaidan’s little dance, his wrath became no more than but a show. You knew this yet it felt like something else is taking over. All you can do was watch. _ ‘And also that familiar whistling noise. It wasn’t loud but it was getting on my nerves.’ _Thankfully, you got your hand back on the wheel after a few moments.

“I’ll get out of your sights right away. Where do I operate next?”

“And hoard all the spoils to yourself? The other members are gonna get angry if you run them out of jobs.” The blonde woman really fits her name.

“I have something else for you, kid. Just one but fit for your skills.” The guild master tossed you two rolls of paper. “I assume you remember the other one, being that you’re the one who slipped that out of Goldenglow. The other paper is a promissory note taken from our _ job _ in Honningbrew Meadery located in Whiterun. See those on top?” he points at each parchment. Both have a print that looks like a tiny dagger. “I’ve consulted my contacts regarding the information we’ve gathered but no one can identify that symbol. Hmm...” He looks at the others who shrug their shoulders for an answer. “It would seem our adversary is attempting to take us apart indirectly by angering Maven Black-Briar. Very clever.” Sneers the master thief, brushing his jawline.

“If they are, why don’t you just recruit them?”

“You jest, but they’ve been able to avoid identification for years. They’re obviously well-funded, driven, and patient. Just don’t mistake my admiration for complacency.” He remarked, “Our nemesis will pay dearly.” Nemesis. That’s a big word. _ ‘I suppose it fits considering how long Mr. Frey’s been looking for them. And failing.’ _

While lost in your thoughts, Brynjolf asked how they’ll find this enemy with Mercer ultimately pointing out a mistake they’ve made. “The parchment you recovered mentions a _ ‘Gajul-Lei’. _ According to my sources, that’s an old alias used by one of our contacts. His real name is Gulum-Ei. Slimy bastard.” he grumbles. Wow, his sources must be something. Perhaps he can help dig up something from _ your _background, no? Wait, this is kind of important to the guild but they’re sending you over Vex or Brynjolf?

“Kid, listen up. Gulum-Ei is our inside man at the East Empire Company in Solitude. I'm betting he acted as a go-between for the sale of Goldenglow Estate and that he can finger our buyer. Get out there, _ shake him down _ and see what you come up with.” He grabbed the papers back and dropped a pouch of what could presumably be are horse treats on your now empty hands. “Since we’re forfeiting your pay, going to Solitude may become a headache—we want this done before the enemy can make another move. I was about to purchase a horse in the stables, you can borrow that one but deliver its documents to me before departing.” He explained, knowing you already understand what happens should the steed fail to make it back here, “Oh, and Brynjolf’s here if you have any questions.” Your leader taps the redhead’s back before he called the meeting off.

This is gonna be a long journey.

* * *

Kaidan awoke the next day to the sound of his doorknob rattling.

“Hello, I was told this was your room—_ oh _, sheez. What’s that smell...?!”

Ah. It’s just her.

_ ‘IT’S HER!’ _

Kaidan sat right up and way too soon, staggering instantly when his foot touched the floor. His body’s still suffering from hoarding all those special drinks the whole night.

“It’s a disaster here. What are all these bottles rolling around for?”

How can she talk so casually like this... After she just killed a bunch of people—hang on a sec. Kaidan scrunches his eyes to get a clearer vision of his surroundings. The first thing he sights is the woman, stalking towards him. But when his companion crouched down to help him, another thing quickly grabs his attention.

“W-what happened to you down there?! Why’s your stuff so clean?” he bombarded her with questions, shaking her and implying on the woman that she committed murder and whatnots. She pulled away, horrified by the accusations he’s throwing at her. “Murder—excuse me?! What are you saying?” she gasped, grabbing a tiny bottle of medicine, “Perhaps you’re feeling unwell from all these.. Whatever these are?”

“No. I’m not. I’m sorry.” The disoriented swordsman politely declined. “But are you sure? You really didn’t kill anyone in the guild?”

“Where are you getting that from?!” She pouts, “No. Why would I? In fact, I just got briefed for my next mission.”

His eyes widened at her revelation. _ ‘Then... What is she on about with those nights.. If it isn’t the guild, then who are the targets..’ _he pondered until he found her hands waving in front of his face. “Mission about?” for a second there, his companion looked ready to spill it without hesitation before she sealed her lips with a gentle smile.

“Just some investigation. Sorry, man. Guild master says it’s a personal one for the guild. Also we should leave right away to cool things off with Mercer.” she remarked as they stood up, “You really know how to pick your enemy, huh.” mocked the lady before stepping out of the room.

Doing some investigation, eh? Then that makes the two of them.

* * *

“Thistlefoot…. Hey Thistlefoot~” Lucien leaned on a brick wall outside the city, eagerly holding out a fresh carrot in hopes to win an antelope’s affection. “Want a carrot~? Nice.. Juicy.. Carrot?” the man beamed when the animal sniffed it but pouted in defeat after it turned away. Fits of giggling was then heard from the other side of the antelope. “Auri, he’s ignoring me.” Whined the imperial. The bosmer took a second arranging her mount before she peeked from under the antelope’s neck. “Here’s a tip; try a sweetroll instead. Oh, and, er.. Hold on to something. Antelope nuzzles can be a little... _ forceful _.” She instructed with a tinge of warning.

“Forceful?” He exclaims in disbelief, startling the antelope, “Look at him, he’s a sweetheart! That warm, fuzzy hide, those magnificent, sharp.. deadly.. antlers.” He pauses “Actually, on reflection, I think bonding can wait for another day.” squeaked the academic.

From a distance they heard the woman call out. Inigo and Kaidan were already accompanying her towards them with new steed all prepped up and good to go. Well, _borrowed_, but hey, additional support to lighten the load, right? Rumarin snorts at the sight of the cinnamon hued horse. “Looks like her ‘visit to the temple’ turned out productive after all.” “Heard we were headed to Solitude this time.” Auri whispered before hopping up on her mount.

“That’s pretty much on the other side of the country. I don’t suppose we can get there in less than a week with all these things we’re carrying? No doubt my body will have already fallen apart by the time we get there.”

“Rumarin, you’re carrying nothing but your bandolier and a waterskin.”

“Hold it right there, bosmer, I’m not strong like you. I might look _ beefed _but I’m not. These are all just a result of my balanced diet and this stuffy robe.” Then he points at their imperial friend carrying some camping gears. “Look. Lucien has more stamina than I do. I’m even surprised I can lift anything at all. I mean look at me, I’m quite—”

“_ Delicate _.” Lucien and Auri sniggered.

“Delicate. Yes. It feels good to be understood for once.”

Inigo looked on as the three kept up with the banter while loading the carriage. It might be a long journey but it certainly won’t be a dull one. Now then, all that’s left is to get his friend alone and ask her what those disturbing noises from nights ago was.

* * *

Their wooden door flew open as the old nord entered their small home, a sling of caught rabbits hanging from his shoulder. “Kaidan, pack your things! There’s been talk of cult activities in this village lately. Best we leave immediately.”

Kaidan’s ears perked up with the mention of cultists. “A cult? Which Daedric Prince is it?” the lad’s interests suddenly roused.

“Shut your trap! Daedric Princes are not to be meddled with.” Brynjar points forbiddingly at the young swordsman. “They’ll tempt you until you’ve sold every single fragment of your soul and leave you an empty shell to use as their puppet.” Warns the old man before heading straight to the kitchen.

“Brynjar! Have you ever fought a daedra before? Read some book sayin’ they’re powerful.” He inquires, attention no longer at the armor he’s been fixing.

“If you cower before their foul presence, that is. The thing about those monsters is that they’re incapable of having conscience. If you give in to fear, they’ll feed on it without mercy. Only those brave enough in spirit and faith can banish them.”

“Wow. You really are a fearless old man—ow! Ow! Why the ear! What did I say?”

“What did I tell you about courage boy?” Brynjar demanded as he let go of the foolish boy’s ear.

“That it only exists after fear-.. Ow. Geez.”

“Fear is ever present in the face of danger, you idiot. None will be less of a man to admit it. Whenever I tell you to _ ‘be brave’ _, it means don’t surrender to fear, no matter how terrified you are. When we do, our spirit will weaken. Now a broken body can recover. But the spirit, our minds? That takes a long journey to empower... and a lifetime to recover.”

Kaidan simply gave the old man a crooked grin, “Man, you talk too much sense when you’re sober, I’m shakin’ in m’boots. I hear ya.”

“Ya do, eh? Then promise this to yourself, not to me,” the mentor leveled his gaze with Kaidan, “No matter how unbearable your life becomes, never, _ never, _fall for a Daedric Prince’s promise.”

“I swear. On my honor.”

... 

..

_ “Killed him? No, you simply sent him to our Lord sooner. Now then, my swordsman... We are waiting to finally crown you as one of us... You’ll soon find out that your existence isn’t meaningless, Kaidan.” _

_ “Then show me.” _

…

..

Laughter coming from his companions broke the raven haired man’s idle thoughts. Why did he allow his mind to stray off to _ those _ memories anyway? Kaidan cued for the horse to pick up pace when Auri reminds him he’s falling behind. The other four were enjoying their chitchats at the back of the cart. It helps that there’s an additional mount as it reduces the price of the ride and allows it to travel faster with lesser baggage. Auri had no qualms guarding the rear all the way through as well. She insists her antelope would be much more comfortable if she’s the one riding ‘Dazzlefoot’ or something. He doesn’t really have an opinion whatever she named it. If anything, he’s quite impressed an animal as skittish as that can be trained at all.

Looking sideways, his eyes land on the khajiit and lady. They look very comfortable sitting next to each other. That’s what he’d expect from long time companions but not only that—they remind him of a familiar scene. A familiar…

_ ‘Perhaps I’m just reading too much to it.’ _

True, he may just be paying too much attention to something unnecessary. If his gut feeling and memory still serve him right, the woman may very well be possessed. By _ what _ is still yet to be revealed, though it’s already pointing towards something malevolent. Damn it, he’s not an expert. If those priests in Riften hadn’t recognized this the first time she stepped inside the temple, then he’ll have to look somewhere else for consultation. For now, he’ll observe her nightly activities—if she’ll have any.

* * *

_ **Second Seed, 4E 200...** _

They’ve passed Ivarstead and the vast plains of Whiterun all the way to Rorikstead. Despite taking the unconventional route of travelling roads outside of scheduled patrols, there were no threats, save for a lone bandit here and there which they easily knocked out and subdued. Yeah, spilling blood in front of their newest adventuring buddy may not be in their best interest. All that aside, it seems that outlaws can’t find a place to fit themselves in. To the West goes the Reach where the Forsworn and other savages roam the woodlands. Up North is Haafingar where Imperial influence is thickest. Near these hold borders are filled with military ambushes brought by the ongoing civil war. One would either die from the law’s hand or be experimented upon with twisted magic before getting sacrificed to some foul deity. Either way is not a good option for those living the life of crime.

Eight days. Eight days had passed from Riften to this place. That’s really fast, thanks to their mounts, but it’s also suspiciously long. Not a drop of strange activity came from her. Is it safe to bring it up? What if _ it’s _ just being cautious around him, then direct confrontation will only close the chances of catching whatever it is. He’ll just have to observe a little more.

“Anyone ever been to Solitude?” Lucien asked the group.

Kaidan listened quietly to his companions’ little chat while they move on. They were exchanging banters most of the time if they weren’t admiring the scenery. Sometimes he’d throw in a few words, the rest he’ll just comfortably keep to himself. It’s just like back in the days when he and his mentor were with fellow bounty hunters. Those were very old memories for him but they were good nonetheless. The group’s topic today was about their destination. It should be noteworthy how grandiose the capital city of Skyrim must be. “Since we’re visiting different places there, maybe we can save time by splitting into groups.” Inigo suggested, bringing out the map he bought from Falkreath. “I believe you and our mute horse-riding companion over there may have an idea how this works.” He tells Rumarin. Wait, did he just call Kaidan mute?

“Oh, I’ve seen these before. Otero and I used to have one, of course until he retired adventuring. These are quite handy if you’re an idiot of an adventurer or just have a bad sense of direction in general-.. which both applies to me.” The high elf quipped from his spot. Oh, he wasn’t joking. Well, that’s not surprising.

“Correct. If you and a companion split up a lot in settlements and often need to meet up, you refer to an enchanted map.” Inigo unrolls the medium sized scroll, revealing a map of Skyrim. It’s quite an old parchment, but the lines are still visible. “Lots of uses—military, group expeditions, touring. And since we’re all travelling pretty often, I thought it’d be helpful. Unfortunately, my savings then only managed to get us a few.”

Auri whistled in amusement, sharing her interest in the item, “I must admit we had no use for something like that in my homeland. But how is it enchanted in any way is? Looks like a simple map over here.” Inigo’s ears visibly twitched at the inquiry. “Er.. well…” scratching his ears, the khajiit glanced over everyone and when even Kaidan shook his head, sighed. The swordsman must have really tried to avoid leaving his traces anywhere. Understandable.

“Fair warning. I’m not the best but I’ll try to be as clear as I can with the instructions.” A deep breath and he clears his throat, “This is an enchanted map. The magic fused with this parchment tracks your companion’s whereabouts. For it to work, you must give it _ blood _—”

“_Absolute shite._ Throw that away.”

“Woah, woah, that’s some filthy mouth you got there swordsman.”

“I can’t believe you’re more concerned about that.” Kaidan hissed at the woman. “Just let me finish first Mr. Pirate,” The blue cat really hated getting interruptions but maintained his cool. “Anyway, where was I? Right, how it works and the conditions needed. First, everyone who wants to be traced by the map needs to give it blood—a drop will suffice, even just from a light scratch. We don’t want it to look like a murderer’s, yes? Okay. So let’s move on to the conditions. My brother told me that only those who know each other will be traced. Say seven of us smudge it with blood but the seventh person among us is a stranger, then that stranger won’t be recorded even if—and remember this, even if that person knows us. It will never work one sided.”

“Amazing…” Lucien gaped at the discovery of this new information. “I can see now why it’s used in expeditions. Oh—but I’ve never seen my mother used one before.”

“That’s because it’s easily torn apart and the enchantment wears off when used.” Rumarin reminded, nodding as he recalls what he can regarding the item.

“Heehee, Fergus told me a story about it. To cut it short, the enchantment on the map burns out faster the more people are recorded in it. If a general registers all the men under him during a battle, the map might only last a few hours with how much they monitor it. It would be troublesome to repeat the steps when the map will just crumble to dust in a short while. I was told this works best with just a few people registered in it.” The khajiit points out. “Now Fergus and I only had each other in our respective maps and the enchantment can stretch for a couple of months. With this, it should last us a number of weeks.” The woman swiftly flicked her blade off its sheath, proclaiming her excitement to try its functionality.

The map made a fizzling noise after the eager lady and Inigo brushed their pricked fingers on its side. “Should be good to go. What shall I say?” she beamed and as per the khajiit’s instructions, speaks the words “Where are you, Inigo?” a little bit too powerful. The map’s print glimmered and faded. A new picture traced itself into existence within the parchment, showing a scribble of the road they’re currently travelling on and a good amount of its vicinity. “Ooh! A tiny spark just glimmered, look! This must be where you’re at.” The woman cheered as if it’s the first time she’d seen one.

“Careful, my friend. You’ll use up its enchantment with that eagerness.”

“I wanna try, too!” Lucien claps, not one to be left behind in such activities. “Smells like witchcraft.” Kaidan chided to which the khajiit chuckles, “Do not worry, I am only trying to help, _ Captain _.” While the two were engaged in some witty repartee, Lucien grabbed the opportunity to take the floor from Inigo.

“What did you have to do in Solitude by the way?” he asked and judging by the widening of her eyes, she did not expect him to do so.

“What do you mean _ ‘have to do’ _?”

“Oh, nothing in particular at all. Rumarin said that you had some kind of business and I was curious so-” one of her brows slowly raised with her eyes trailing to the altmer when he finished “-I had to ask.” “Uhh.. Books. I heard Solitude had… books.” She murmured. Ooh! What kind of books could she be searching for? Solitude the capital of this province, for sure there’d be tons of interesting reads there coming from both High Rock and Hammerfell supplies. “Really? _ Gasp! _I can accompany you if you’d like. If it comes to books, I’m sure I’ll be of great help! What sort did you want to find?”

A shrug was her answer, “Something. Anything, actually…” the lady pauses, “Maybe those with symbols? Strange characters? Like a language. Know something like that?” That was rather vague but sure he can drop a few that he knows of, “Symbols and language. You mean like the Dwemer? They use an entirely different alphabet system. I’ve studied about it for a decent amount of time.” He proudly claims. “What part of it interests you? Ooohh, wait, does this have something to do with your, uh, memory thing?”

“You’re a sharp one!” She giggles. “And you’re adorable being like that.”

“What-.. I-I am? Ah-.. er.. _ ahem _ , I mean, thank you!” he complimented back, a faint flush rising to his cheeks. _ ‘Ah! No, don’t do that, cheeks!’ _ Argh, why is he so easily flustered by unexpected compliments?

“_ Haha _.. No wonder Auri likes teasing you,” she giggled, “I can’t say for sure that it’s connected to my past. But there’s this certain characters I’m familiar with, yet I can’t recall what they are or even know what they translate to.”

“Ummm… So you’re familiar with it but can’t understand it? What do you mean, exactly?”

_ “Uhh, ma’am, sir I..” _

“Ah, that,” Inigo suddenly turned his attention back to the people around him, “my friend here is not only an accomplished adventurer and healer, she can also read those silly scribbles on Kaidan’s sword.” and somewhere from the rear they hear a specific swordsman telling the khajiit off. “That long sword? Now _ I’m _curious. Maybe I’ll try and ask if I can see it on the next set—”

“EVERYONE BE QUIET!” Auri’s hiss sliced through their cheery little bubble. Thistlefoot started sounding spooked a little after while the bosmer comforts the poor baby.

Just then they noticed that the carriage rider looked awfully tensed. “Don’t wanna be pessimistic to young adventurers like you lot. But er… it’s best you ready a weapon. We’re nearing a vulnerable spot.” He warned cautiously then muttered a little prayer to Kyne.

That’s probably not good.

You hurriedly switched to a crouching position and looked around. With the sun still high, who would be brave enough to risk an ambush? _ ‘Unless they’re a group.’ _There have been no patrols since half an hour ago so this part of the road may be unguarded. Up ahead you see an empty overhanging bridge, no people in sight but clearly, something made Thistlefoot uncomfortable. Wolves? Sabrecats? No, there’re clearly human activities here judging by the footsteps on the dirt. “Hang on.. Guys, stay sharp. Those tracks are fresh.” You whispered before giving the other two at the back a similar gesture.

“Where the hell are they…” Magic won’t properly work when you’re cramped inside this ride. Drawing the bow Kaidan lent you, you steady your breath as you near the bridge. A second passed. Two. Three. Just as you thought, you see a silhouette move from behind the wooden pillar upon reaching the bridge and you let an arrow fly. What you didn’t anticipate was the other one who successfully loosened their trap. Boulders fell from above and everything after that was a spiral of hazy events.

There was the sound of horses shrieking.

Someone yanking you down.

Tossing and meeting the ground.

_ ‘Lucien?’ _

It hurts. Like, _ really _hurts.

_ ‘Damn it. Who in oblivion keeps hammering their steel?’ _Opening your eyes, you soon came to understand it wasn’t a blacksmith making that loud ringing noise but Kaidan and Inigo crossing blades with several bandits. You spewed out dirt off your mouth and as your hearing restores, it leads you to the bosmer several steps in front of you. Auri’s visibly shocked, not at the two bandits beside her with bone arrows sticking on their vital parts but at Thistlefoot laying on the ground; the bosmer’s tiny hands are the only thing that soothes the animal’s pain but even that isn’t enough.

“Auri…” You struggled at first but were able to pull yourself up from the ground. Staggering towards her was easy, nevermind the numbing pain on your left ankle—what’s hard was hearing her cry and Thistlefoot’s weak whining. “Where’s the source…” You heaved, quickly finding the animal’s open wound with the wood elf’s help. “We weren’t even caught by the trap… but they.. they shot him. Even when he was already down, they fired another one… I managed to kill them but it took some time. He’s already lost a lot of blood.” She lamented, switching back and forth from anger to grief.

Thank heavens you practice a little magic every night. Since you haven’t used it for anything other than minor exercises, drawing out healing magic went quickly despite your worn state; pushing in as much magicka it takes to speed up the restoration. “They didn’t hit anything vital, I think… _ huff… _ I can bring him back to full strength.. Just.. _ huff _ .. A few seconds.” You gritted. Pouring out so much magicka _ this fast _is no laughing matter, your human brain can only endure so much no matter how large your mana is. “The others..?” She points you to where Rumarin is, helping you and Thistlefoot up and then picking up her bow to aid the two. After you granted the animal one calming spell, you made a run for it, though it looked more of a limp than an actual sprint.

Rumarin was easy to spot. He had dragged the poor old rider behind a huge rock, assuming he saw you knocked out from the impact, had also taken initiative to patch the nord up and stop the bleeding to the best of his knowledge.

“Careful, you look like you could use healing yourself first.” It wasn’t a snide remark, in fact it sounded genuinely worried, looking at how the bladebinder apologized after realizing what he just suggested. “Focus, Rumarin. Where’s his wound?” you respond quickly to the area he points at, mending the bruises, minor fractures, and scratches along the large wounds on the man’s leg. There isn’t any room for chatter in situations like these. You can only be grateful for the weeks spent on cleaning request boards together, honing the team’s communications skills both in situations and battle.

Once complete, you grab a bandage from Rumarin’s hand but find yours getting restrained by the altmer instead. “Look, I can do this just fine. But… there’s something else—"

_ “Damn, they escaped!” _

“Kaidan,” Rumarin tensed at the name, “are you alright? Wounds, fractures?” you offered, meeting them halfway. Aside from a light pat on the head to say he’s good, the swordsman did not even gave you so much as a glance, heading straight to the altmer. Inigo did got a slash in that needed immediate attention. Fortunately, the leather armor took in most of the attack and your friend suffered no more than a flesh wound.

“What do you mean _ gone _!?” Kaidan raged. “You were awake when he was here!”

“I am! That didn’t stop them from taking him!” The high defended.

You hurriedly squeezed in between the two before they start biting at each other. “Wait, wait. No fighting! What are you two talking about?” Red eyes focused on you for once but it’s the overwhelming amount of rage in it that stabbed through you. “Wha—Look around you! Lucien’s missing!” he shouted. “The bandits _ took _him!”

Everything just stopped functioning after he said that. You back away as you feel your knees buckle, hearing them resume their bickering but your mind seems to wanna keep its blank state, unable to register a single thing they’re saying and having all eagerness to weigh in the situation gone.

What to do? How long was it since and did they hurt him? Why him? The jewelry, the posture, the outfit, the infuriating air he carried that just screams ‘I’m rich and very inexperienced’ in the most obvious way possible. They were overconfident with their skills but completely overlooked this kind of possibility, that’s why they failed to prepare counter measures.

_ “Slit their throats.” _

“How is this _ my _fault?! We’re all in the same boat!” Rumarin fumed.

“Because _ you _were supposed to look after him! That’s what you signed up for when you accepted his gold back in Falkreath!”

“It was him or the rider that time and the latter was nearer—”

“The bandits quickly swarmed us so you conveniently hid yourself. Save the excuses and just admit you’re bloody incompetent!” Kaidan is going way overboard with his words and Rumarin’s taking all the venom. This wouldn’t do.

“_ Excuses _?! You’re joking. Are you saying I should just leave the other man to die? Because I was only doing what I can, same as you!”

“You should have acted qui—_ krgh! _"

All you could hear was everyone catching their breaths as your fist connect with Kaidan’s jaw. The enraged man snarls at you but whatever he said went over your head, stalking towards the opposite direction to give the high elf a slap that sent him stumbling back. “What’s the matter with you!?” he complained, eyes riddled with shock.

“Watch your words, both of you. Just come with me.” That wasn’t a question. Maybe throwing your hands at them wasn’t as necessary as the voice told you. It’s hard to think with a clear head, what with all their pointless arguments amplifying the faint screeches you’ve been hearing for a while now. Inigo whistled at you, scroll in hand and your sack on the other. “I’m going with you, my friend.”

_ Stop whispering, damn it. _

“No. I need you to protect the old man with Auri. Here,” you unclasped the quiver and dropped it for him to use. “Camp somewhere safe. I’ll find you with the map.” you said, taking a deep breath before you used the parchment to search your missing friend’s whereabouts. Everyone is somewhat bewildered by your reaction but now is not the time to worry about the kind of face you’re currently making. “Found him. Auri.”

The bosmer gives you a bottle of healing potion. It’s only a small amount but it’ll ease your foot just enough to function properly. “Understood. Be safe, alright?” she nods, remaining by her mount’s side and wishing you luck. You send the other two a lingering frown before breaking the heavy silence. “Your choice.”

Without looking back, you started running on the path the map had shown. Two pairs of footsteps soon caught up with you, no doubt had finally reflected on what happened earlier.

“I don’t have any potions with me right now. Stay close so I can heal you when we clear out their camp.”

“How’d you know it’s a bandit camp?” Rumarin asked. “Does the map show it?”

“No. Auri informed me they only have a few horses when they ambushed us and the rest escaped by foot. Obviously, they have to have an encampment nearby. It would also explain why they only went for Lucien. This map will probably lead us to their main headquarters.”

“What do you mean ‘probably’? You mean it’s just your gut feeling.”

“The same gut feeling that spared your life, yeah.” Hearing him groan quietly proves your point. “What’s important is we get Lucien back. Nothing else.”

“Oi. We’re taking them head on, just the three of us? What do you plan to do once we get there?”

For a whole minute, you pondered for the right answer to Kaidan’s question and only one word comes to mind. The same one you’ve been hearing ever since the noise inside your head became anything discernible;

“… _ Kill. _”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some have seen in my tumblr (if you passed by there XD) it was freaking Solstheim in my city some days ago. Taal Volcano went onli--I mean it became active again. We were only slightly affected and so I'm just gonna use this part to remind people not to forget their face masks if your city is still experiencing ashfalls. Stay safe everyone! :)
> 
> (I had my laptop borrowed so I'm posting this earlier |ʘ‿ʘ)╯I love you all, thanks so much for all the hits and kudos, also to my real life friends spending their time to read this haha sorry omg)


	28. Road Bumps II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bandits made a mistake targeting your friend... and they'll surely know the price for such a crime.
> 
> Anything to get your friend back.

**027**

**Road bumps II**

  
Trembling took over your body as you stare at the strange symbols carved on the ground under your bedroll. _‘What in oblivion is this. Did I.. Did I do it?’_ you stared wildly at the piece of wood you’re holding up. Lucid dreaming mostly leads you to do strange things—cast a weak spell, remain seated until you wake, write scribbles, or cry out a name that’ll fade away from your memory as soon as your consciousness returns. You knew this. But this is by far the worst. You’ve never been this active in all your attempts! Just what exactly is this horrible feeling crawling under your skin? Finding no explanation for why you woke up kneeling like this, you hurriedly erased the marks and went to bed.

Dreading the possibility that he’ll avoid you, blatantly lying to Kaidan was the only option you resorted to when he confronted you about the marks. If you don’t know what is happening yourself, then how can he? How can anyone in the group be of help? These lucid dreams are taking for the worse.

You knew that and yet you still took it when it presented you a new set of scenes from your past, only waking up when Kaidan caught you _again_, and ending up with the memory in those dreams gone for good.

Frustrated with the lack of solution, you tried your best to sleep as lightly as you can until then—not knowing in one of those nights you failed, the very man you tried to keep it hidden from heard something worse inside your tent.

* * *

_ **2 days after leaving Riften...** _

You gently slide a freshly brewed tea towards Lucien, nose deep in one of the books he got from Riften and a little surprised by your silent offer. The imperial smiles pleasantly upon inhaling the aroma, “Thank you for this. I was about to get some dinner myself. Would you like anything else? I’ll have it made with mine.” He shuffles from his chair but you held a hand up to respectfully decline.

“Much appreciated but I’m about to sleep after this.” You raised a cup of your own, containing a different brew. In truth, you’re trying to find that _special_ tea you vaguely remember about and asking the innkeeper to serve you something that’ll help with sleep gets you only two selections—which you ended up taking both anyway. Whether it’s what you seek or not is still unknown. You initially thought about sharing one to Kaidan but decided against it when you spot him already enjoying a bottle of mead with your blue friend. Auri is automatically out of the question and Rumarin, while known to be fond of a balanced sustenance, had already prepared to call it a night. Lucien, however, was free and happened to have a rather empty table, save for the apple nut treat he’s snacking on. He must have lost track of time.

You subtly sneak a peek on the book’s cover. “That’s a nice book, ‘Herbalist’s Guide to Skyrim’. Is it about alchemy?” initiating a conversation isn’t really your expertise, much less holding up one, but it’s quite uncomfortable seeing him fidget behind the book, thinking you don’t notice him glancing at you every two seconds.

“Oh, this? Somehow, I believe so. It mostly contains information about ingredients worth noting in this land.” he chirped, “I figured I’ll be spending majority of my time now outdoors and that means surviving in the wilderness will play a part in some of it. When I came across this in Riften, I thought it’d be useful. Erm.. I hope I’m not talking too much, sorry.” He meekly brings up the book closer to his face in slight embarrassment. You urged him to go on, enjoying the way his eyes sparkle with life whenever he’s explaining something.

It kind of feels familiar, albeit strange. Pretty sure, you haven’t met this person before. 

"You’re a kind person.” He remarks, sighing shortly afterwards. “Honestly, I know most would just tell me to stop relying on books and just learn by experience but.. I can’t adapt that fast. Reading about it does help with the mental preparation, though. So, here I am.” He awkwardly smiles, hiding once more behind the book.

Those words were mostly stained with insecurity, but hey, who started adventuring without a dash of fear on the side? Reaching out to gently put his book down, you meet his eyes with a soft smile blooming on your face. “There’s nothing wrong with being careful. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, Lucien. Not everyone progresses the same pace, so why not take your time growing strong instead of growing fast? We’ll be here to see that through, that’s part of the deal, right?” seeing his face light up further completes your day. A sweet sense of fulfilment sweeps in your heart and you kinda understand why Inigo never tires of being supportive despite everything he went through.

“You know, I really like you!” he blurts out without a thought and instantly shrinks back to his seat when the tavern patrons in vicinity started sending your table looks. “I-ah-.. Not.. Not like that, that was just-.. Er..”

Instinctively taking his hand on yours, you threw away all possible shame out the window, “I-I like you... too.” you struggled stifling a laugh, refusing to let him make a fool out of himself by that awkward excuses of his. With the right facial expression, the gossiping patrons bought your on-the-spot ruse and started sniggering at your back. One drunken and overly generous wealthy man even went up your table and ordered two sweetrolls for ‘the adorable couple’. That went pretty well _and_ hilarious, too—looking at Inigo clapping his hands and the big guy smugly raising a toast to the two of you.

It wasn’t surprising to see Lucien profusely apologizing to you next thing in the morning. Rather amused, you decided to keep him talking about books. It was beneficial for everyone; the group becoming more interactive, him slowly gaining confidence to open more intriguing topics, and you picking up minor information that easily escaped your mind. With Kaidan and Auri guarding the rears, getting further acquainted with Lucien was expected and it’s delightful how interesting he turns out to be.

“Aren’t you just full of enthusiasm!” you giggled, “What brings you to Skyrim? There’re lots of other places.”

“So many things! The culture, the architecture, but most of all, the enormous Dwemer presence here.” He taps on his research notes, “The technology the dwarves possessed all those years ago is _miles_ beyond us, even today! The chance to study it in person... I just couldn’t resist!” he gushes with sheer passion burning in those bright blue eyes. Quite a talker, this one. For the next few days, you burned hours of sunlight behind the carriage just chatting the day away and listening to his random musings, only staying quiet when nearing sketchy places or when someone’s napping.

“Is there somewhere in particular you’d like to see?”

The question had popped up when he mentions buried Dwemer Ruins for the twentieth time today. Lucien stops midway of the story, something about his student days, turns at you and blinks a couple of times, “Hmm.. Now that you mention it, I suppose there is! Somewhere here in Skyrim there’s a Dwemer ruin called ‘Dumbzbthar’.” There he goes again with Dwemers and ruins. Now not to say his passion towards this topic doesn’t poke your interests as well but it’s quite amazing that Rumarin hasn’t grown tired of it yet. Kaidan, with the distance he’s putting between him and the carriage, obviously has. _‘Ah.. but he won’t stop keeping his eyes fixed on us all day. Does he want to join or not? Such a strange man.’_

  
“...-tiple meanings, but I’m fairly sure it translates loosely to ‘Bound Ghosts’. It piqued my curiosity—the use of Soul Gems in Dwemer Automatons is well documented, but no one really knows much about their purpose or function.” His lengthy explanation reels your head right back in, and he continues further, “I thought perhaps this place of _bound ghosts_ might be something to do with that, so I did some research but I just couldn’t find the location.”

“We’re all bound ghosts in some ways...”

“Not now, Rumarin.” Inigo chuckles at the half asleep elf. “Why didn’t you say so sooner? We could have helped with that from the start if you wanted.”

“There’s no need for a rush. My father’s looking into it while I’m here on my expedition.” He cheerily replied. “If he finds anything, he’s going to let me know!”

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling widely. Juggling between adventuring and making money for the guild is a bit tricky but surely you’ll find time for it should this dwemer adventure calls. The four of you shared one hell of a good laugh that day, and even when you could only vaguely imagine it, the idea of unravelling such discoveries isn’t so far fetched if you do it all together.

“If you get into any kind of trouble while unearthing those information, you can trust your body guards to save you, okay?”

A pause, then he breaks into the silliest smile.

“Yes, ma’am!”

...

_We’ll surely... Come to your aid..._

* * *

“Where is he?”

“...I-I don’t even know who you’re—_urgh_!”

“Blonde hair, noble get up...” She panted, digging her finger deeper inside the burnt flesh, earning a shrill wail from the bandit. “You just took him from us hours ago. Do you know where?”

“I..! I told you, you crazy _bitch_! Over and o—!”

A blade through the neck silences the bandit. This had been going on for a while now. Another one shrieked as she gives him the same procedure when he provided the same answers.

Rumarin could only swallow his objections back, if he even had any—these are bandits they’re talking about. He should feel relief ending their lives, not the opposite. But the way she rammed her way in with a raging wall of fire, not giving any time for the enemy to react when she impatiently electrocuted anyone she saw. Refused settling for just a simple zap, in fact, she was obviously aiming for their faces and when she misses, they’ll end up in flames while she eyes her next target. An irrational way to deplete her magicka, really. But once again, she proved how terrifying her potential for destruction is.

“What in oblivion am I staring at?” Rumarin muttered, indecision cloaked his tone. “Let’s just push on.” The red eyed swordsman huffed, completely unbothered by the horrendous scenery. “She’s surrounded over there.”

As if she needed back up. Why the hell are they even here?

Rumarin pulled away the arcane sword from the half melted innards of a bandit, causing the intestines and more blood to spill from the opening and the high elf couldn’t keep it together anymore—he lurches away, hand clutching tightly on his robes as all the pent up disgust finally decides to just screw it and force its way up his throat.

“Ysmir’s beard, don’t tell me you couldn’t handle this? Thought you were a professional adventurer?” Kaidan critiqued, hearing another batch of screams from the other side of the encampment. He gets that this might be hard to stomach, especially with the growing scent of blood and cinder mixing together by the minute. All the more reason why they should hurry it up and scram away from here.

“I can handle it, I think. Just promise to drag me back if I pass out... By Mara, look at all these poor sods.” The elf panted.

“You think these bandits deserve to live?”

“No. I think they are unfortunate, though. Trust me, you don’t want to be on the other side of her blade.” He frowned, calling forth a bow this time. “Have I told you how we actually met?” Kaidan resumed to cleaning up any survivors but Rumarin still proceeded with the story, “With a dagger to my neck and the devil staring at me. I’ve never come across someone so sane and horrifying in a long time.” The altmer recollected, shuddering from the memory of him under her wrathful gaze. “She also just tends to let everything blow up when she feels like there’s no other way.” He added, going back to the time they were cornered inside the dungeon and when she threw him out before risking an explosion that nearly made the old ruin cave in. This time Kaidan stops and gives him his full attention.

“What’s your point? S’if there’s any other way to get around these bastards. _Tss_.”

Rumarin draws an arrow and shoots a scorched bandit crawling away. “Didn’t you guys once said she pretty much breezed through Goldenglow without a trace? Hired mercenaries are far more intelligent when compared to bandits. Perhaps I should also mention that she can make herself invisible.” He says, both of them climbing up the scaffolding to see her on the other side of the camp—palms on knees and hitching, the bandits around her skewered with thin frozen spikes in ways that would surely hurt but not enough to instantly kill them.

“Why would someone as professional as her take such a straightforward approach?”

She barely glances at them under her hood before picking up a rusty sword, using it as support towards the medium sized shack. That must be where Lucien’s at seeing everything else had already been reduced to rubbles.

_Is this necessary? More than that, is this even justifiable?_

The question made its way to the back of their minds as they ended each enemy’s suffering—something she refused to do with the way she left them for dead. Of course, it should be, right? For all his life, Kaidan never heard of a bandit that showed a drop of mercy. They’ll raid villages and kidnap women, even the young ones, to use as objects or sell off to black markets as slaves. Truly the dirtiest of all scums. Every single wound they get is well deserved and it is only right they die a miserable death for all the terrors they’ve caused to the common people. It’s almost shameful how he argued against her when the lady presented a plan to clear their names back then. Good thing he came to his senses. Mercy is something these monsters do not deserve—he realized that while they were finding a replacement for him.

“This is just my honest opinion, Kaidan. But that temper’s gonna get her in real trouble... _sigh_. I keep forgetting she turns into a different person when angry.” The elf’s whining disrupted his thoughts. He’s probably still reminiscing their first encounter and how close he was to dying that time. Rumarin was not against her decision to eliminate every one, Kaidan knows this. What the elf _does_ question are her methods.

Kaidan pondered about Rumarin’s words for a bit. But they’re here and this is what’s happening now. This is the only way they can get the lad back. Besides, bandits will never negotiate with them no matter what and everyone’s better off without them harassing or ambushing people like earlier. “We have to hurry before this reaches patrolling guards.”

Several pairs of terrified eyes met them when they entered the shack. _‘What the hell... More hostages? But some aren’t tied up.’_ Most were young women, probably in the same age group with Lucien. They wore dirty noble attires so they must have been here for days. Several younger ladies even started crying. They were cowering beside the hostages, wearing the same fur clothing with the bandits but are unarmored and unarmed in any way. _‘Don’t tell me they’re...’_ Kaidan bit back his own anger, slightly more relieved that they did what they did to those scums.

Their lady companion eyed them with suspicion and when she deemed them harmless, went straight to the trapdoor that’s been pointed by one of the women.

“Hey, you. Where in oblivion are you going?” Kaidan argued, causing her to cock a bloodstained eyebrow in response to his tone. “I mean... Aren’t we gonna free these people?”

“Why are you even here if I’m gonna have to do everything?” she sneered with narrowed lids. “My priority is getting him back. That’s why I brought you two with me to clean up any other possible issues.” with a roll of her eyes, the woman descended without another word.

* * *

You landed a bit louder than you expected, thanks to your still recovering ankle. There was no use in staying quiet anyway. _‘A cove under this small hill, huh.’_ You scan the spacious cave lit by only a few torches, further down the right path there’s a boat, probably prepared as an escape route that leads to the river outside. A table and packed items were placed not far from where you stood. Hearing nothing in your vicinity, you approach the table and found a journal which apparently belonged to the bandit chief. “That bastard planned to sell Lucien and escape with the money he’ll get from it.” clenching your fists at the discovery, you slammed the journal down and was unexpectedly met with a loud screech inside your head. _‘Damn you. What do you want from me.'_ You exhaled sharply. Hearing that mind-numbing shrill voice reminded you to breathe and focus. You tune your thoughts towards a single goal, silencing the whispers in the process.

First, these bandits. Next is whoever’s causing you to hear things. They’ll pay. All of them.

_“Mmph..!?”_

LUCIEN! You dashed to the source, made a few turns and find your friend kneeling behind several stacks of wooden barrels—hands and feet both tied but other than a minor cut on his cheeks, the imperial didn't seem to have suffered any more harm. His wide gaze met yours and you hurriedly went for him but he aggressively shakes his head.

“What? _Ughk_—!”

Reflexes got the better of you and were only able to realize a second later that you just deflected a bolt using the blade on your hand.

“Nice reaction, kid.”

The greetings came from behind a huge rock. One by one they revealed themselves. Two. Five. Seven. Twelve. There’s a dozen of them hiding down here. A dozen holding up their weapons at you. _‘I can take out those three with swords. What of the rest..’_ without enough time to analyse the situation, you are left with no choice but to drop your weapon and surrender.

“Run out of tricks, eh?” One of them commanded the others to restrain and take you down as they forced some kind of drug down your throat. _‘What the..! This reminds me of that one in the Thalmor prison. These bloody pigs. I’ll kill them!’_ It felt as if the voice in your head and your own thoughts were colliding, cursing the same things, but if you fight now, Lucien will no doubt get hurt—no, this can’t be helped. You give the struggling Imperial an apologetic look after you’ve been pulled up on your knees in front of him. The helpless look on his eyes weighs more than all your scratches right now.

Slowly, the rest closed the distance and circled around you two like predators, one even yanked your hood off. “Looks like I’ll be taking this. Heh.” The bandit jeers, wrapping the garment around his neck while they started discussing what to do with you.

“How’d you like that, eh? Anti-mage drugs helps us survive here against magic loving freaks like you and the Reachmen.”

“She looks young. Pretty good looking if she lessened the scowl. Maybe we can take her with us.” One leered at you only to be stopped by their leader. Damn, where are those two when you need them.

“Shut up, moron. She’s dangerous. You’ve seen what she did up there. Had she come down here with even just an ounce of magicka left, we woulda been slaughterfish feed by now.” She berated. “Hrm. Well given that she’s strong maybe we can sell her to the pit fighters.” They went on for a few more moments bickering, seconds, minutes, an hour? _‘Gotta take this drug outta my body...’_ you nod off but Lucien’s muffled cries are keeping you awake. So far there’s only the loss of your magic and energy so it’s still safe to assume you haven’t been poisoned.

A sudden fall of one of their thugs startled the group to scramble away.

_“What was that!? Why is no one guarding the door, you bloody fools!! Watch out for that one in college robes!!”_ or whatever was that the leader’s yapping about; everyone of them was busy reloading their bows and finding a safe spot to hide. Bandits and their tiny brains. Arrows, both steel and aetherial ones flew one after the other, relentlessly pushing the bandits away from you and your friend.

About damn time.

“Oi, woman! Lucien!” Kaidan untied the lad first while Rumarin hauls you up on your numbing legs. “Rumarin, Kaidan! Thank the Divines you’re here—they made her take magic suppressing drugs. I don’t know about its concentration but the amount she had doesn’t look good!” Lucien quickly informs them. You strained, stumbling towards a safer spot as the other two resume firing back at the enemy.

The trembling scholar aids you in a better sitting position, apologizing to no end for the trouble you went through. He’s really a dummy. But that’s why you made easy friends with him. ‘Dummy buddy’ now that sounds nice—_STOP GETTING DISTRACTED!_

Pressing a heavy hand against his shoulder, you gather your words before it starts getting jumbled in your mind, the effects of the drug slowly creeping in.

“Sorry for being a lousy body guard. Heh.”

You thought that’d cheer him up a bit but the man wells up in tears, “No, no.. Oh, no one’s to blame. I’m really sorry. Uhm look, I thought I’d be able to use this if I find myself in a situation. But apparently I’m just really.. terribly— ...please, take it.” Defeat were smeared in his eyes as he sniffles, handing two tiny vials from his pocket. “The other is for mana replenishment but I don’t know how that’ll mix with the drug still in your body. If you drink the stamina potion now, we might be able to run away from here while those two cover us.” His trembling, pitchy voice suggested.

“This is nothing, Lucien. I told you we’d come to your aid, right?” You smiled weakly before turning away and shoving a finger inside your mouth. The panicked little man reached new hysterics when you started gagging and vomiting, not even knowing what to do since he can’t just tap the others on the back and cry about what he’s seeing right now. “There.. _huff_.. Suppose most of it should be out now..” you coughed, giving Lucien a crooked little grin. “You should be taking notes. I’m not doing that again.” With a single gulp, the entire content of the stamina potion had been drained down your system and quickly took effect.

“Where are you going—_Damn it, woman!_”

“There she goes again...”

“Cover me, _don’t_ shoot me..!” you yelled, particularly at Rumarin for the latter, leaving the safety of your hiding spot. Of course those two will voice out some of their disapproval but they can’t do anything now that you’ve got your hands on your first victim. Ah, the schmuck that wanted your hood. “Good hiding spot. No one to bother us.” The bandit panicked at your arrival, making it easy to see the openings in his form while he fumbles over his crossbow. One powerful roundhouse knocks him over, then stomping his head hard enough to buy you time strangling him with the hood he loves so much. The faint voice inside rejoices in each life you take, but you heed it no mind. This is certainly not the place to lose control.

Right after you’re done with him, you help your companions subdue anyone you can. _‘Did the others died already.. Feels like they’re missing some others.’_ Thrusting your retrieved dagger to the bandit leader’s chest marks that as the last of them. Or so you thought.

“You... There...” a brute growled and staggered towards your group, “I may be.. an outlaw ever since I was.. brought to this world... But I still... I can still go to Sovngarde... right?” Facing Kaidan, it wasn’t hard to catch his surprised reaction before it hardened. “I’ve no family... No way I’ll fit into civilization...” the nord continued, gripping his axe by the sound of it.

“Kai.. Back away. Now.”

“But—”

“Kaidan, please. I just want this voice to stop...”

The swordsman looked even more perplexed with what you said, but no matter. You bounced on your heels, lowering your stance to greet the attacker with a foot sweep that sends him reeling forward. “You could’ve escaped already by now.”

“And then what? Live like a wild animal?!” The bandit roars, swinging aimlessly at you and your friends. With quick feet and a blessedly light frame, you easily twirl around his laboured movements, your punches and kicks only but a pushing force needed for his own weight to play against his disadvantage. He trips down again, and again, and again he takes a stand. He’ll keep coming around until he convinces you to end his life.

Rumarin puffed out a short breath, “Thought she was useless without weapons or magic. I stand corrected.” Lucien nods, “That certainly looks unique. Her moves I mean..” the scholar trails off, too absorbed in terror and awe for his friend’s condition. Kaidan, however, was at a loss for words.

_ ‘Have I seen this fighting style before?’_

Their fight dragged for about another minute and they used it to get Rumarin accompany Lucien out of the cove. Kaidan stayed behind to keep an eye on his companion, though odds are already tipping to her favor, looking at bandit groan after taking a direct hit on the face. With this one sided confrontation, there’ll be no satisfaction earned and so she quickly grew tired of it. He swaggers back, towards the edge and as the determined woman drew out a sword, Kaidan saw her flinch for the first time before she stabs the barbarian, letting the nord fall into the water.

The laid back woman poking fun at him during mealtimes and the one sprayed with blood right now. Conflicted, Kaidan could only watch her back in silence. Is he looking at a savior or were those long burned Thalmor notes about her telling the truth? Perhaps it could be the entity inside that’s turning her like this? His mind was riddled with more complications than he’d like to handle but not one of it made him think about parting ways with her. Kaidan can’t abandon this woman yet, not while he knows there’s still something that can be done.

_‘I’ll help you out, I swear I will. Just like you did back in the prison...’_

The swordsman immediately ran to her side when he heard his name called, and following the direction she’s pointing at, a few surviving bandits down by the river are spotted escaping on a boat.

“Ah. I knew we were short of corpses.” He remarked. “Let me gather a few arrows. You should go back up now with pointy ears, just in case they get out of reach.” Yet despite his instruction, the woman silently reached for the mana replenisher. Having heard Lucien’s warning about it earlier, he holds out a hand to stop her.

“Didn’t you understand what the lad said about it possibly backfiring with the suppressant still in effect?”

“Does Sovngarde really exist?”

The question she replied with had taken the man by surprise. “Are you really asking about that now? We should focus on killing them before they regroup. If they make another victim, that’s on us. You don’t want that haunting you every waking moment, trust me.” That’s the truth. This kind of situation calls for resolute decisions.

She lowered her head but he still caught her expression become extremely conflicted under the shade of her hood. “Do you think what I did up there, was that-.. was that too much...?” her voice trembled, and he made sure to pay attention from here on out for he was a damn fool, believing this amount of killing wouldn’t start taking its toll. Placing a hand over her shoulder, a pair of guilt ridden eyes rests on it. She can’t even lift her gaze up to meet his.

“They were the ones in the wrong. Whatever you did up there, it’s what they deserve. If it’s not you, someone else will eradicate these filths. They had it coming.” Kaidan understands. Sure that was not the way he would do things, but he’d seen how close she and Lucien became over the past days. If he were in her position, the chances of him annihilating this camp to save a friend is highly likely. He knows what that’s like—to question your kills, to have the lines of right and wrong blurred in the middle of action. But they can’t hesitate now. Bandits of those kinds will surely retaliate.

Her gaze were fixated on the escaping group desperately paddling away. If only there was some way to fully assure that they’ll cause no more harm once they reach the exit.

Alas, there’s only one.

  
“You’re right...” the woman twisted the lid of the vial open, having found her composure again. “They struck us first—this is just payback. It’s up to us to make sure they don’t get the chance to make another victim.”

“Exactly. But you don’t have to do it.”

“Kaidan. I don’t care who I kill or how many..” She declared before gulping down the blue liquid. The familiar glow of magic flickered inside her clenched fists before it sparked into the brightest of flames.

“I only care about keeping you safe. Everything else that hinders that can burn to ashes.”

* * *

“A-are you sure it’s still not safe?” Lucien asked, taking light and careful steps whilst holding onto Rumarin’s arm. The altmer said if he trips, he might just go straight into the river, and he claims to lack the strength to prevent him from such an accident if ever. “I don’t understand why I have to keep wearing this cloth over my eyes. I think we’ve made it far enough from their camp.”

“Like I told you, one of them tried and failed to use a firestorm scroll. The sight is not something to behold. Neither is the smell.” Rumarin simply brushed off. Besides, they’re almost at the meeting point. He can already see the old stump residing on the small island near the waterfall. Now to find a sweet shady spot to rest their hides. “I would have let you vomit to your heart’s content just to appease your curiosity, except seeing people vomit makes me do the same. Need I remind you that I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. I’m just worried about those two.”

The altmer couldn’t help but snort at the other guy’s naivety. “Those two busted out of a fully functioning Thalmor Prison in under three hours or so. They’ll be fine!”

“That’s an understatement.”

“What’s that—!” Startled, Rumarin jumps behind Lucien but finds himself rather lost when he finally sees the one who called them.

“Oh my, oh my, you should replace that look on your face, milord. We’ll be more than fine with all these glimmer.” The woman teased the dumbfounded high elf, flashing her hands with a variety of gemstones squeezed in between her fingers. “Can you stop rocking the boat, I’m trying here.” Kaidan grunted, paddling a wooden boat towards the land.

What in the name of Xarxes are these two doing on a b—... Is she wearing jewels?! By the stars, those are treasures on her hands! Rumarin didn’t wait around and hurriedly took the sack of assorted gemstones and gold, leaving Lucien spinning for guidance. Apparently, the bandit chief had been secretly stashing away gold and other stuff to afford an escape. Selling off Lucien was supposedly their last act... which turned out to be their last mistake, too. Once the four all settled down, they decided to split the baggage in order to meet up with the other two faster. Hopefully, no other issue had ensued from their absence.

“Hey... Uhm.. I just wanted to thank you. All of you.” Lucien breaks the silence, walking slowly while you’re mending his scratches. “I’ll be sure to ask my father for proper compensations.” Rumarin grunts in response despite the mention of more gold. Looks like he’s drained for the day. Or the week.

“It’s their job. Of course they’ll come.” Kaidan shrugs, basically asking to be excused from the initiated conversation.

You ruffled the anxious boy’s hair to get his attention back on you. “He’s right. But even if there was no payment involved, I’d still come running to save you.” You give him a cheerful smile—after all, it’ll be no good if everyone came home filled with dread. Lucien’s saved, the locals are free to roam the area without worry again, and the bandits... Somehow, you disliked the emotion sprouting in your chest when you recall the final moments of that brutish nord.

_‘Can I really... call that justice?’_

Lucien casts you a side glance, still down hearted, “But why?” The answer was already out in the open, but one he wanted to hear anyway. One you’d gladly declare to all of Tamriel.

“What do you mean ‘_why_’? Because I’m able to, I want to, and you’re my friend, Lucien.” Expectedly so, the imperial flushes but graces you with an awfully dorky smile.

“Someday, I wish to know your name. If you remember it.” He beams. “I’m really glad that I met you all.”

With a glance to the golden rays of the setting sun, you skip ahead, facing the three of them. Is it fate that you met? Whatever it is, there’s no denying that the bond between you all is blessed by the stars.

  
“Yeah, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone reading this is having a nice day! (*‿*✿) It was fun writing this despite my lack of sleep haha. Pls don't hurt the MC's friends ლ(๏‿๏ ◝ლ)
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking by!


	29. Capital City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saved a friend. Killed the bad guys. Did the locals a favor. Don't have to feel bad about a single thing because that's just the way things goes in this land. Whatever happens, as long as you're breathing, life goes on.

**028**

** Capital City **

_“RAAAARGGHH..!”_

His heavy build ultimately played the biggest role for his demise. Since the drug’s still got your head slightly spinning, an upfront confrontation won’t work. You let your instinct take the lead, evading most of the attack until the barbarian’s tired enough for you to push around. This little dance should be buying your friends enough time to escape, you hope.

On one last attempt to have him stay down, you meet him head on. He’s already sluggish, the attacks lack breath and are without focus. It’s like he’s just throwing himself at you, hoping you’d chop his head off in one of his attempts. Lucky him, you’re running out of patience and the message had been gathered in a fistful that you send straight to his nose. _‘That hurt! Shit.’_ Even so, it’s a good thing your body still remembers all the proper stances to effectively manage balance.

The nord stumbles back. Hand on his face, his axe abandoned on the ground. And as you draw a sword that’s been lying around, his last words pierces through, shattering your clouded mind.

_“Quickly. At least in death.. I’ll be free from this kind of life..”_

You thrust the blade in through his stomach. Whether it was a force of habit or to shut him up, it shouldn’t matter. What you see is a dead bandit; it should be bringing you relief for ridding the world of one less scum.

_‘Then why is he the one wearing a contented face?_’ a voice in your mind asked and you couldn’t tell if it’s yours or not anymore. All you knew is that you arrived in this place harbouring intentions that deviates from the original plan.

It only took you seconds to reflect on everything you did up to this point. All the screams, all the mess up there. The rage burning inside you which led you to do this. And as you watch the body fall, realization washes over you.

_‘What have I done?’_

* * *

“How are you holdin’ up?”

Kaidan sat down beside you on the grass. It was more of a greeting in a way, a permission to accompany you, rather than to start a small talk. _‘They must have finished preparing camp.’_ You assumed, seeing he’d already taken off his armor.

Auri and Inigo made camp not far from the ambush spot. It’s pretty clear, some trees nearby, water’s within reach and just a few turns back to the main road. The coachman gave his thanks for saving his life by leaving behind one of the carriage horse. Unfortunately, he went ahead and skedaddled soon after he saw Auri taking some of the fallen enemies’ flesh. The khajiit’s not very fond of it as well but, it’s not like he can just tell her to suck it up and leave the most significant part of her lifestyle.

If tomorrow’s weather is favorable, the group will reach Dragon Bridge quickly and still have a bit of daylight to scout for items.

You kept your gaze into the river, itching to say something, _anything_ really. It’s not everyday Kaidan makes an effort to be this gracious. Maybe you just want to be left alone with your empty thoughts. But perhaps he can help with your troubles as well?

“When Lucien was taken.. I was really angry...”

“That’s normal. I was, too. Remember? And-.. Worry not. Already apologized to that elf back there for taking it out on him earlier.”

“Don’t be too harsh, Kaidan. Friends shouldn’t be pointing fingers at each other when facing a common enemy.” You gently reprimanded him. _Friends?_ Is that word too early for him? It was quite amusing, watching his stern face holding back a pout. But it’s not enough to wash away today’s trial.

“I feel like crap...”

“Is it the drug? Just hang in there, we’ll get to Dragon Bridge soon—”

“The big man back there... He said he wanted to go to Sovngarde... If he were to die, he wanted to enter the afterlife with honor... Something he hasn’t been able to achieve in life, being an outlaw and all.” you revealed, finally piecing together why the bandit refused to run for his life. “Tell me Kaidan.. If a person hated how they were brought up, how they’ve become.. Why don’t they just simply change their ways...” scooping your legs up, you buried your face right in and end your silly question, “Why do they have to stay that way until the end?”

Half a minute passed without him uttering a single word. Silence. Normally, that would’ve sufficed for an answer ‘til you hear an exhale through his nose.

“Well... It’s hard to break free from things that made us who we are. Even more so when it’s the only way of surviving they know. Some people are capable of change. Some are not. Sometimes...” He takes a pause, perhaps deciding to hold back his tongue, but eventually gave out a short sigh, “Sometimes it’s just too late...”

The way his voice faded sounded sad. You steal a glance at the man and see him staring distantly, ruby eyes hued with melancholy, and you wondered; was there something or someone else he was thinking about when he said those words.

“I could have taken Lucien out without that much bloodshed.”

“You would have left the locals to be terrorized by those bandits.”

You scoffed softly, “It didn’t have to get that messy.”

“But it did. World’s better off without ‘em.”

“Yeah. There’s no reversing what happened.”

This time he responded with an annoyed grunt and faced you. “Look. I don’t know where this is going but what’s done is done. Out here is tough. Violence is unavoidable, you know this.” he says, grabbing your attention with the sudden rain of words. “Listen to me. We won’t always be given a chance to rethink the options. You have to make a choice beforehand..” he says, both of you looking behind to see Lucien being attended by Auri.

“..whatever you decide, you have to defend.”

Ah.. Didn’t you say something like that in the past? In the end, you’ll always have to take a pick.

_It’s them or us._

“How will I know if it’s right or wrong?”

Kaidan’s lips pressed into a line, and it just tells you you’re not gonna get satisfaction with what you’ll hear. “You won’t. You have to trust your intuition.” He scratches behind the ears and gives you a friendly pat on the back. “Hm. Despite everything, you’ve consistently shown good judgement in situations. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

For the first time, you glance up and actually look at him. The swordsman wore a thin smile, and even with the glint of worry weighing it down, it’s assuring enough. You’re gonna be okay. Here’s hoping Kaidan is right.

“I never thanked you enough, Kai. I’m really glad you’re still here.”

“Aye. I still owe a lot to you.”

He’s always talking about the debt when asked. It almost feels like it’s become an excuse. With a tilt of your head, you hummed, “Will you leave after?”

Kaidan returns the gaze, albeit his is quite empty. “Who knows...” the man chuckles, looking up the starlit sky.

“I see. So you haven’t planned that out yet. I’m.. actually relieved.” You admitted, trying to change the tone of this conversation into something less depressing. “You’re good company. A little broody but I guess that’s not an issue.” You quipped.

The man cracks a grin, much to your liking, and he rests those crimson eyes of his back to you. No words could ever describe how much you like the shape of his eyes. It fits his personality so much. It’s just so.... Kaidan.

“Well... This ‘broody’ person thinks yours is not so bad either.” He states, eyes reflecting the same adoration yours have right now.

“Don’t die, Kaidan. I like having you around.” It was playful banter, mostly, but you really mean that. And he’s not an idiot to miss that point. The swordsman inches closer and you let him, shifting until he’s fully facing you now.

“I won’t. And I’m not letting you die either.”

Somehow you always wanted to ask if every time he declares things like that, ‘Is it really just pure obligation?’ But you never seem to be able to summon the courage. In truth, you didn’t really want to risk hearing an answer you might not like.

“Hey!” Rumarin called. “You gossiping housewives wanna eat your share or you gonna keep staring at each other until the wild animals trace it here?”

It seems you’ve spent too much time sulking here that you’ve run out of jobs to do. Dinner had been quiet and thankfully peaceful. At least everyone can regain their strength and sanity for the next day. Inigo managed to lift your spirits up by sharing some of his memorable and hilarious battle experiences. Your friend held so much admiration for his brother that you’ve started admiring that blessed soul as well—he clearly would have been quite the companion to travel with, seeing as Inigo’s already _this_ amazing of a friend.

Checking on Auri didn’t take long. After she was done doing her, uhm, religious thing, she immediately went back to nursing Lucien for the most part of the night. Think she mentions about doing similar for her sister back then or so but she kindly avoided speaking further in regards her family.

“Hey, _boss_. The fire’s too big.” Rumarin peeked from inside his tent and gestures at the campfire, too lazy to put it out himself “Might attract unwanted attention this late at night. Would you do the honors?”

You dragged yourself up, slightly bummed from having to heed his call and tear yourself away from the stump where you’re comfortably seated next to the blue khajiit. “On it. And why would you call me your boss...” you mumbled in exasperation. Holding your hand up to fling some ice over the fire, you immediately felt unusual.

“Something wrong? You haven’t moved for... _Seventy two_ seconds.” The altmer sleepily remarked. You hear Lucien questioning his reason for taking track of time but the altmer’s right. You’ve stood in front of it long enough and nothing is coming out. Something is wrong. You only gathered your thoughts when the rest of the group approached you, taking a deep breath in before you deliver them the news.

“Hm... I can’t use magic.”

* * *

“...and you’re sure you don’t feel anything else?”

Other than having a desperate need to dive into a really soft, luxurious bed... _‘Geez, I feel like I slept on a rock or something..’_ yeah, everything’s functional.

“Absolutely. We waited for side effects or symptoms but nothing’s out of the ordinary.” You tell the apothecary. After giving you the best medicine to match your current state, you immediately rush back to Four Shields tavern, where everyone had agreed to wait for you.

“The apothecary basically confirmed Lucien’s suspicion. It was black-market product unlike the one I came across as a prisoner. So obviously it’ll have far more unpredictable effects. My magic will return but... _Ugh_..” you tried sounding fine but, alas, this _really_ sucks.

“Buuuuut...?” Rumarin said oh so slowly, stretching the word endlessly ‘till you spill it out. A raised brow is all it took to zip him up. Argh, this is annoying.

“.....It’ll take some time.” You crossed your arms, rocking the chair back from the table and let your eyes land on Kaidan. To own the truth, you’re actually expecting him to crack something up given that he’s the only one who continually gets put off by your magic, but by the gods, he stays his breath. Well, that’s just like him—he’s not a nasty person to begin with. “I mean there’s an antidote but it’s pricey. I know we just hit some big loot but I’d rather buy a new armor or weapon with it.” You moaned in frustration, making big gestures on your cuirass that’s barely holding up. One or two more good slashes and the thing’s gonna fall apart. It’s been only two months or three since your escape, no way in oblivion you’re gonna let anyone turn you into a meat skewer.

“Hmm... If you really don’t experience any other inconvenience besides the loss of your magic, then I can support your reasoning.” Auri chimed in. “All we have to do is take a safer path until then, right?”

Safer also means longer process. To be honest, Mercer’s task is quite nerve-wracking. The guildmaster being so invested in it only means they’ll want faster results. _‘I really can’t slack off like last time or I’ll lose their confidence in me. I still need to dig up some answers there.’ _Unfortunately, there hadn’t been any free time to discuss things that didn’t concern this ‘mysterious enemy’ the guild has. Everyone who might hold some info about you would chew your head off to focus on this matter first before they start wagging their tongues for you. Of course Brynjolf’s always civil to his _protégé_, promising to find a schedule he can fit you in, but the man’s already handling too many things for the guild.

* * *

Both Lucien and Inigo skipped happily as your group entered the streets of Solitude. The city’s crawling with Imperial nobles and much of the population did come from Cyrodiil so it might be reminding your friends of their home. Few days had passed since you’ve departed from Dragon Bridge, where there’s nothing but quiet patrons and infuriating imperial soldiers stomping all around like they own the place—so a big, luxurious, cosmopolitan city like this is a nice change of pace.

“Oh! Look, there’s a gathering over there!” Lucien eagerly presents Kaidan and Rumarin his best puppy face. The two briefly exchange looks before yielding to the scholar’s behest. It’s probably just an ordinary event in the capital city.

The closer you skirt in, the wilder the crowd became and you hear a some old guy telling a little girl to go home.

_“Positions!”_

It sounded like one of the city guards. Why did they announced the city gate to be locked? Is there an emergency? ‘_Starting to think this isn’t a fun affair..._’ you silently note as the clamouring turned into jeering and cursing. Quickly noticing the absence of one blue khajiit and a particular scholar, you made an effort to squeeze your way through, only to have your hand be held back by the bosmer.

“We’ll find them later. It’ll only get more chaotic in there, dear friend.” Auri warns, gently pulling you away and you squeeze back, following her to a more spacious spot on the back. Well, you might as well just walk away now. You can’t see a thing with all these citizens in front of you.

Kaidan places a hand on your shoulder and leans down so you can hear him amidst the commotion. “You want a lift?”

“S’cuse me, a what?” you blink a couple times. A lift? _A lift?_ What are you, a child?!

“A lift. Lotsa elves here so the view’s kinda hard to see from your height.” He casually, _shamelessly_, tells you without a trace of hesitation.

Man’s taller by like... several inches only. In fact, if you stood side by side, your eyes aligns just around his nose so you can’t possibly be that lacking in height. _‘Although gaining a few inch to boost me up might create a significant change.’_

“Well?” He offers once more, “No need to be bothered, everyone’s eyes are on the execution anyway.”

“_Execution!?”_ you gasped. Solitude gave you quite an impression with all its elegant beauty and sophisticated atmosphere but this will surely be the most notable one. And to think it’s the first time you’ve stepped foot inside this city! Something as horrible as an execution out of all things. That’s just.. just really... Hell, that’s _really intriguing_ now is it—

“Aye. Hop on now if you wanna watch. Auri’s already gotten Rumarin to compromise. Look.” You follow where he nods and see Auri’s leather wrapped limbs tangled around Rumarin’s body as they both try and get a look on the show. “At this point... the headsman’s axe will be.. way, way better than this.” He struggled to get the words out, _and he’s really straining_, keeping a tight grasp on the bosmer’s legs. Or maybe he just needed to breathe.

Despite some doubts, you nod and Kaidan lowers himself as you reluctantly climb up on his back. His arm goes around your thighs for support and it’s really weird that after all this time together, you’re still feeling tingly whenever you make this kind of contact with him. See, Kaidan isn’t really a “touchy” kind of friend, unlike Inigo or Auri who you can casually share hugs with. _Damn, he is hard_, there’s no denying that—the armor he’s wearing, of course. Gods, that would have been awkward had you stated it out loud.

  
  
“Roggvir. You helped Ulfric Stormcloak escape this city after he murdered High King Torygg. By opening that gate for Ulfric you betrayed the people of Solitude.”

The city guard announced, causing an uproar from the audience. This civil war thing had been going on for a while now according to everyone, so the accused had been able to hide until now. Must’ve been tough, being chased out of your own homeland. When they silenced down to hear the ‘traitor’s’ last words, you felt Kaidan move closer for a bit. There are only but a few moments which tingles the aloof man's interests. Please hurry and write 'public executions' under that list.

“There was no murder! Ulfric challenged Torygg. He beat the High King in fair combat!”

That’s what the accused said. It didn’t swayed anyone, if anything, it only angered the citizens.

“Such as our way! Such as the ancient custom of Skyrim! And all the Nords!” he continued as if he were preaching. No shame, no fear. His unwavering voice was proof enough of him staying true to his beliefs till the end. It didn’t take long, really. And the city watch were generous enough to let the townsfolk voice out their opinions on the act he committed.

‘_To fight for what you believe... I.. wonder what I believe in..’_

There was nothing that could have prevented it with the whole town backing up the Empire. For sure, there are those who do not want to renounce their faith in Talos but Roggvir’s rolling head is a pretty fresh reminder that they should just continue to worship in discretion for now.

“That’s-.. not a way to get ahead in life...”

Out from the farthest reaches of nowhere, Kaidan has achieved something you thought were impossible for him.

“_Pfft—apologies_.. I couldn’t help it.”

Make Rumarin laugh.

Departing people within earshot held their tongues, but the dirty looks garnered by Kaidan’s definition of a _perfectly-timed_ joke sure spoke volumes and loads of dismay.

“Too soon?” he asks in genuine cluelessness. Is this actually happening? Very much like the altmer, you couldn’t stop the laughter that had erupted. “It’s not a bad one.” You buried your face on his hair, filling it with broken fits of giggling as you earnestly try and avoid looking like the type who laughs in inappropriate situations—which you are, actually. He acknowledges the public feedback with a nonchalant shrug. “Too soon.”

“Just an ordinary day in the capital city.” Auri chuckled out discreetly, “Wouldn’t want to die like that.”

“Gods! I hate public executions. I’d rather die in battle than on my knees in front of a crowd. _Horrible_...” a disgruntled yet familiar voice approaching exclaimed.

“I agree. Not like I’m eager to die! But maybe if it’s my time one day, something far less humiliating like that is better.” Another one squeaked and the four of you turned around to see Lucien waving at you while he’s on.... Inigo’s back.

“Hey everyone! ...Er, why are you looking at us like that..?”

* * *

“You two had been traipsin’ around the whole day. Got the lad some gear?” Kaidan greeted Inigo once they made it to the Winking Skeever inn.

Right after the public beheading, Rumarin sold _everything_ that were considered loot with haste. Thanks to that woman, they got much more than they estimated from the trade—how she keeps doing that is still way over his head, though. What’s important is they got enough money for everyone and more to sustain their daily needs for the rest of the month, given they don’t actually consider staying in this expensive place.

All he had to do was visit the fletcher since a guard strongly recommended the place when he came looking to restock some arrows, have a blacksmith take a look on his equipment, get some spiced wine in his belly, and that was it. Being the first one in the team to arrive at the inn, Kaidan took it upon himself the task of renting them their rooms for the night, and since there was nothing large enough to accommodate a group of their size, he simply booked two family sized ones. All that was left to do is take a well deserved rest. That’s when he spots the blue khajiit.

“We did. It might not be the best but I tried getting Lucien something he’ll be comfortable with. Ah, he’s coming over here. Perfect.” Inigo cheers, taking two sweetrolls the scholar delivers to their table. Lucien wore a basic set of studded leather over his luxurious green tunic. It’s lacking in some parts than the usual ones they give out, mainly the shoulder pads and the extra protection on the sides, but he’s sure these two have an explanation for that.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you’d be here earlier than us, Kaidan. Do you want one?” Lucien offers a bite to the hulking swordsman who respectfully declines. “Er, how about you join us here? I’d like to hear your opinion on my _modified_ gear!” he chirps, flaunting his cuirass and bracers. That kind of modification has too many weak points exposed but it does give an unexperienced and scrawny person like him the ability to move with more flexibility. The swordsman’s brows furrows on the energy this young man is displaying. “Aren’t you bein’ overly enthusiastic for someone who just got his life endangered.” He retorts, sipping on his ale and taking a seat.

“I know. I know. I’m actually surprised of being over that now. If I feel bad about anything, it’s for _her_. She did seem to use magic as part of her lifestyle, don’t you think?”

Kaidan scoffs, “Nobody is born blastin’ fireballs outta their hands. She can live just the same while it’s gone.”

“I suppose you have a point.” Lucien agreed, “She can already use it, though her magicka’s too small and its recovery rate takes very much longer compared before.” He narrated, getting lost in thought.

Lucien admittedly came here terribly unprepared. Skyrim is a harsh place—harsher than he expected, to be honest, and though the idea of him encountering danger was something he came to terms with when he set out for this country, it didn’t cross him that the severity of such a situation could be _that_ much. It was always way, way easier and fun in books.

Seeing a woman in all of that go through such a struggle while all he could do was sit and fumble out some words.. that was rather unsightly. Now that friend is suffering and it was due to him lacking the strength to defend himself. Forget about the body guarding duty! Lucien couldn’t quite stomach the feeling of somebody else endangering their lives for him.

But the experience led him to properly reflect on why this band of travellers were nowhere near friends before he came, save for the nameless woman and Inigo. The life of adventure is grand and _insanely_ dangerous. Making friends and losing them just as fast is absolutely horrid, so forming close ties with road companions were something these people do not give so easily.

“Hope you didn’t spend every last coin on just sweetrolls and alcohol.”

  
It was a good thing he was only on his second bottle of ale or he would’ve surely mistaken that thin voice for a pixie’s. Kaidan gazes over his shoulder and finds a tiny wood elf wrapped in warmer fur attire. Like Lucien, little miss tiny here got lots of spots vulnerable to damage. Not like that is an issue since this one actually has evasive skills rivalling Inigo’s, whereas Lucien is lacking for obvious reasons.

“Auri! You’re finally here! You look good in that!” Lucien’s eyes sparkled with awe and immediately made room for the bosmer. Inigo asked of the other two’s whereabouts while munching on his favorite treat, causing Auri to take a short pause before getting back with an answer.

“They should be here. I was the last one to get a new equipment in the shop we were in.”

“I... Don’t see them anywhere?” Inigo glances around the crowded room and when he meets the swordsman’s eyes, he could only hear him mutter “I don’t feel good about this” under his breath before one of the patrons yelps.

“H-How dare you step on my dress! Do you have any idea how expensive this is! Oh, how horrible!” a woman cries loudly, “I just got this tailored yesterday! Now I’m going to have to dispose of it!”

“Why are you yelling at _me_?? I’m not the one who did that!” another one yells back.

“Spare me your drunken excuses, woman. You better pay for this or I’ll have my father arrest you!”

“For what? Getting accused of stepping on garbage??”

“WHY YOU—”

Shor’s bones, these people aren’t any different from barbarians at all. Less wealthy people act more civilized than these women who look like pastries in their dresses, why bring something as expensive like those in a tavern anyway? Kaidan will never understand highborns and their whims. Half the floor’s occupied in putting a stop to the ensuing catfight—could only pity the innkeeper. They can’t exactly just kick out a rich customer.

“_Whew._. It’s _that_ easy to make them fight, huh. Even I’m surprised to get it at first try.”

Just as Kaidan predicted, Rumarin shows up right after things are hurled into chaos. “Where is she?” is what the swordsman said with the look he gave the altmer.

An exasperated pout and dismissive hand is what Rumarin returned him with, “Oh, somewhere here I guess. Talking to a _friend_.”

“A friend, eh?”

“That can change really quick depending on your cooperation, _milord_.” You happily taunted from across the table somewhere in the little corners of this fancy inn. The argonian dressed in common merchant clothing at the opposite end didn’t seem to appreciate it, though.

“Drop the niceties, _sewer rat_. I don’t know if your hearing is actually functioning or not but I already said I don’t deal with your guild anymore.” He snidely responses. “Looks like you haven’t been learning anything from Mercer. You kill me and your only contact in the East Empire Company vanishes. That’s not smart for business.”

“It’s not. But do I look like I care? I mean look at me,” you smiled coyly, waving your arm to show off a brand new high grade bracer, not to mention the expensive quality material of your new robes and leather specially made for dangerous adventures. “I’m more than geared up to hit the road if the guild goes..” You mimic an explosion with your hands while mouthing the word ‘poof’ and let yourself fall back to the chair. “That means I also don’t care if I have to slice open your brain for the answer even if it means I’ll get my pay forfeited.” You chuckled. “Just identify the buyer and we’ll forget what we know.”

He stares at you, aghast and annoyed at the same time. “You don’t really play by their rules, do you. I really hate people like me.” He sighed.

“Nothing wrong with working for your own whims.” You play with the table knife’s edge as your eyes linger on him. “Broken rules or not, as long as it’s fun is my kind of tea. And I’m sure they can let their best off the hook after a while.” You giggled.

“I can’t tell why you keep working with them if that's your only reason. Last I heard, being broke is no fun at all. Still is. But I can definitely tell you’re a bit loose in the head.” His eyes narrows. “All right. Had I known the deal would bring me this much trouble, I never would’ve accepted the gold.” The shady argonian reveals. “I was approached by a woman who wanted me to act as the broker for something big. She flashed a bag of gold in my face and said all I had to do was pay Aringoth for the estate. I brought him the coin and walked away with her copy of the deed.”

“A woman? Did she tell you what her reason is for doing this?” you asked.

“Not at all. I tend not to ask too many questions when I'm on the job. I'm sure you understand.” He defends before following his statement, “However, I did notice she was quite angry and it was being directed at Mercer Frey.”

At Mercer? The whole guild for mr. Frey? This isn’t a simple ex-lover revenge kind of thing then. Or if it is... Wow that’s just hopelessly desperate _AND_ hilarious. “What’s her name, sir?”

The scaly bastard shakes his lowered head, “In this business we rarely deal in names; our identity comes from how much coin we carry.” He spits out the words as if he were reading a script. With no concrete proof other than your hunch that he’s still not spilling everything, you politely thank him for his cooperation and time. Not like he appreciates your courtesy; you knew he wanted to keep his life and you used that to threaten him at every point during the exchange.

The argonian made it his priority to leave, fully convinced that you’ve already gotten the answers you seek. But you damn know well you won’t be happy returning all the way back to Riften just to give the guild such an unsatisfying answer. Joining up with the others for dinner, you let the noise of the crowd drown everything out as you think through your plan.

  
_‘Looks like I’m gonna have to do some stalking.’_

* * *

The robe’s hem dragged on the stairs leading to the basement. Theirs is an old establishment within the mountains, but it is sustainable, well hidden just as it should be. He traverses the empty stone halls, counting several doors and a few turns before he reaches the ritual chambers.

Softly yet with haste, he approaches his niece, a young dunmer lady watching the priestess attempt to perform another spell, and he asks,

“Helanu, how is everything going so far?”

Startled, she jerks a bit. “I almost didn’t notice you, uncle,” she whispers sharply, “the priestess is barely making any contact. The old witch’s spell might be harder to crack than we thought.”

“I see... Keep assisting her.”

“Is this even worth it, uncle Dalamus? We trust an outsider’s words, let them consume our resources, and she’s not even getting anywhere with this?” she argued quietly.

“But she is...” he corrects, “We do not encourage mistrust within the family, my child.”

“How can we be sure she is _family_? All she ever did until now is form a bind with the daedra, and even that got severed in mere seconds.”

“Isn’t that a good sign?” passionless and dried up voice hushed down his faithless niece. “The very idea that our dear priestess had connected with the being proves that it is still alive...” he gently enlightens the naive dark elf while observing the priestess re-enact the incantations,

“... _She_ is still alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They deserve a nice break, don't they. ȏ.̮ȏ Too bad, Mercer's itching for an answer already. Stick around (if you want QwQ) and we'll see how they handle this!!


	30. Scoundrel's Folly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shady Gulum-Ei isn't the only one making a fool out of himself today.

**029**

**Scoundrel’s Folly**

Kaidan had been keeping the bottle of spiced wine to himself since a while back. Consider it a treat for the uneventful two weeks or so they’ve spent on the road on the way here. He knew it was what he just needed to ease him into sleep but— 

“What in the _gods forsaken_ oblivion are you frantically pacin’ around for, woman?!” he barks.

All three of them jolted back from their places—especially the woman who abruptly stops on her tracks. She blinks at him and points at herself with a clueless face.

“YES. You, damn it. I thought you were grouping with Auri and Lucien in the other room? The hell are you doing, totterin’ here and there??”

“Why... Can’t you see, dear swordsman?” her accent dramatically transforms to that of a nobleperson’s, almost akin to the ones fighting earlier. That stupid wide gaze of hers doesn’t help make things less heated. “I’m struttin’ about ‘cuz truth is I have this uncontainable, unquenchable desire to flaunt my newly acquired silks! And this.. Look at this absolutely dazzling, sturdy greaves, which if I may add, is only about _THIS CLOSE_ to kicking your teeth right in if you keep snapping without a reason..!”

This woman’s ability to put up an act is truly noteworthy—just look at Inigo and Rumarin. These idiots are actually laughing at them. He would usually leave the role of complaining to the high elf, but he’s already a few bottles in and it’s the first since their hellish escape from the prison that he’d gotten a bed this heavenly to the body, and yet he can’t enjoy it in peace with this fool waltzing with those godawful loud equipment!

“I’m here because if I’m _there_, then Lucien will be hearing my troubles about what to tell Mercer!” She groans in utter frustration and resumed the chicken like movements.

Alright, he’s had enough. He’ll let ‘er have it for once.

“Oi! I didn’t say you weren’t welcome ‘ere. What I been tellin’ you s’if you wanna ponder ‘bout your next move, then do so without stomping that noisy armor on!” Kaidan snarls and she freezes at once. Inigo initially assumed the swordsman had gotten too far and was about to tell him to apologize when his friend started sliding off the armor parts and unbuckling her other equipment.

Rumarin huffs from his bed, “Now this is interesting.” Sipping down on his share of mead but is also clearly taken aback by the turning of the event.

“Woah, woah. E-easy now-..” Kaidan quickly backtracks, frantically waving his free hand around in an attempt to stop her, “I didn’t say take _everything_ off! Are you mad?! Why are you ignoring me—”

“Look at those arms. You sure you need magic to win a fight??” The drunk elf cheers with Inigo who views her action as a friendly challenge. “This makes me want to show off my physique, too! BEHOLD!” “Inigo, watch it with your fleas!”

And there they go.

For the love of the Nine, Kaidan will never get used to this kind of pestering.

The woman, now wearing nothing but her trousers and an undershirt, walks over to Inigo’s discarded equipment and picks up a body chainmail. “My friend, do you have any chainmail less clunky than this?” she interrupts them and when Inigo asks what she needs it for, she gives them a vague explanation of needing it for the assignment she’s tasked with.

“I can’t use magic for now so I’ll have to rely on my skills... Which, to be honest, I’m a bit nervous about. Magic’s always been involved with every strategy I came up with.” Kaidan didn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes at her reasoning. _‘That’s what she gets for relying too much in magic.’_ He berates her in silence.

“Hey don’t be an ass, swordsman.” She crosses her arms, sending him an annoyingly childish pout, obviously making fun of his temper again. Is she seriously trying to get on his nerves now? “Can’t you see that this is similar to you swordsmen losing your sword-hand? I would’ve had that wine rolling mid air if I were only able to do so.” She whines in a teasing manner.

“So what? Poor you, you just lost your imaginary limbs. Boo hoo.” Oh, he knows well he looks stupid stoopin’ down to her pre-pubescent level of taunting but one would start thinking if he really is with adults right now.

Understandably offended, the woman takes him up for a challenge. “_Imaginary_!? It wasn’t imaginary when I broke you out of those chains back then, was it??” The other two audience makes a loud ‘Oooohh’ from the blow. “I know you didn’t asked, Kaidan. But these not-so-imaginary limbs did save our asses on several occasions.” she levels her gaze with the swordsman, lightly shaking her head in mockery of his alcohol induced vexation. “How cruel of you to mock a disabled person like me~”

“Whatever! You look fine to me.” He gruffly dismisses.

“Glad to know you can at least appreciate a woman’s curve when it’s right in front of you.” Rumarin intrudes, “Thanks! But shut your pie hole, Rumarin.” The woman playfully tosses her discarded robe on the buzzed altmer.

“That’s not what I mea—_sigh_. I give up. Give me a break, will you?” Kaidan sets the bottle of wine aside and falls into the luxurious bed, hiding under a pillow.

He could hear Inigo and Rumarin cackling at his defeat. If he knew this was what giving his word to the woman would entail, then he’d never... No, his honor would never let him separate ways with her without returning the favor either way.

_His honor_.

That’s the only thing that’s keeping him from leaving this mess of a group, right? And they’ve already encountered several road troubles that would have counted towards his debt. But with the way things are headed now, her ability to read the carvings on his sword, the thing inside her—there might be a few factors that makes him want to linger around. It’s not as if he can just ask for a reprieve when he’s possibly the only one aware of the insidious entity’s existence. He just needs to find someone who can take a look at it.

Whoever’s blood it wants, it wants a _lot_ of it.

“I just noticed but, you didn’t bought any armor did you?” the woman interrupts his mulling by setting her sights onto the high elf now. “No. Only a new set of robes which I got enchanted. Those are just as expensive, mind you.” He heard Rumarin say.

“Sure, can I borrow your current ones, then? As you noticed, my new gear’s a mix of light steel and leather. Chainmails are basic for defense but are also noisy. I need something flexible and the defensive enchantments yours have will be enough in case of emergency.”

“_Hahaha! Haha.._ Oh. Hey. That was a joke, right?” the elf chokes in laughter and warily backs off, because for all they know, he should be.

“Inigo.”

The khajiit’s eyes dart back from the alerted elf to his friend and shrugs, “Heh. Don’t take this personal, friend. You haven’t seen her boss get angry.” He chuckles as the two of them jump on Rumarin.

* * *

“Good morning, how was your-.. Er, gentlemen, are you feeling alright?”

Lucien curiously leans over to at least get either Rumarin or Kaidan’s attention. He made some approving nod towards the high elf’s change of robes but didn’t get so much as a smile back. Both proceeded with their breakfasts like they don’t see the wondering scholar. “I-uh, last night was that fun, huh? We could hear you from the other room.” Poking around failed miserably as the two barely responded to his greetings.

“Fun?” Rumarin tears his soulless gaze from the untouched soup and latches it on the imperial lad. “I, in my long miserable elven years, have never been _violated_ like that. Ever.” He whimpers, prompting Kaidan to heave a very, possibly his deepest sigh yet. “I dunno why it is so hard for you people to just let me rest in peace.”

“Because that would mean you are dead- ok, alright, alright forget I said that. Sheez, enough with the glaring.” Rumarin fretfully inches away from the fuming swordsman, “It’s so hard to cheer people up when you’re down yourself.”

“Or deliver lousy jokes.”

“Fine day to you as well, Auri.”

With Inigo and Mr. Dragonfly’s arrival, only one person is missing in their not so happy little table. Kaidan, despite still feeling dreary from having to spend his night in a room filled with aggravating rieklings, hasn’t let this inconvenience derail him from his babysitting duties and was the first one to ask about her. _‘I could almost hear the bastard of an old man laughing at me from the afterlife.’_

“You don’t know?” Auri tilts her head in question, “I was pretty sure she came from your room. You lot were quite rowdy in there. We met just before dawn and took a bath together.”

“_TOGETHER_???” Rumarin squints his eyes at the bosmer. Not everyone has the gall to speak up but they did share in the high elf’s reaction. Don’t know how things run in Valenwood but here, taking a bath ‘_together_’ commonly translates to—

Auri laughs off the dumbstruck faces she earned, “Look, it’s nothing like that. Almost everyone is asleep that early and luckily the ladies’ shower room is vacant.” Feeding the altmer’s imagination for the fun of it, she slowly arches her brow, a look of amusement briefly plays across her face. “Gotta say I admire her build. It was fun, washing each other’s back. Got quite heated, too.”

Colourful reactions erupted within the group and the little devil bursts into a hearty laugh, tearing up at the result of her own doing. “_Hahahaha_! Of course, of course! It took some time and effort washing away days worth of dirt so we did break a sweat or two!” She elaborates in between short breaths. “Oh, Y’ffre.. Haha.. Here, she asked me to hand it over to. Said it was for Lucien but in case the guys asked, give it a read.” the bosmer passes on a piece of parchment to Lucien and went back to teasing the others.

_“Off to meet a friend. Will be back as soon as possible in the inn. Lucien, if you go explore the city, can you also find me the book I was describing before? Tell everyone not to overdose in liquor or sweetrolls. Eat something balanced today and don’t do anything that’ll get us kicked out of the Winking Skeever._

_ Your friend.”_

“Wow,” Inigo exclaimed, “that sounded like a letter from my mother.” He laughs then suddenly notices more scribbles at the folded end of the paper. “Whoops. Missed that.” The blonde man sheepishly remarks and clears his throat once more;

_ “P.S._

  
_ If in any case I die, probably not because I’m only meeting a FRIEND—still if I die, I want you all to sell my stuff and give the gold to Kaidan. Have him buy something important, I don’t know, like, maybe some common decency or whatever.”_

When the red eyed man’s expression turned several shades of disgruntlement, everyone failed to conceal their laughter. “That’s a lot of words for “_You stink_”, is it a lover’s quarrel?” Lucien meekly asks when Kaidan steals the parchment from his grasp.

“.... Did you just implied that we’re- Look. We’re not.. We’re-.. Where the hell did that even come from!?” Inigo instinctively shields the scholar from the enraged man. They knew damn well to behave themselves inside the inn than let Kaidan have a go at it with his tantrums. Flustered and admittedly wrong, the imperial apologizes with all sincerity and haste. In his defence, he wrongfully misinterpreted their relationship with the way they_ “look at each other”_ every once in a while and also that they would just remind him a bit of his parents.

“S-sorry! I truly am! So, uhm, is the reason why she’s not here is because she’s mad?”

“Oh, that person _is_ mad but not in the way you think...” He grunts, brows furrowed as deep as the scowl he has on. “That idiot’s really got it out for me, eh..” Uh-oh. That kind of tone coming from Kaidan is a glaring red flag. They watch his face screw in pure annoyance, forming a tight, contemptuous smirk before he decidedly got up and left their table in pursuit of the woman.

“Oi, oi, won’t you join us stroll around the city? You don’t even have your armor on and you’re headed out already. Where are you going this early anyway?” Rumarin called. Without looking back, Kaidan waved a copy of their imprinted map and gave an answer that screams ‘none of your business’,

“Gonna buy some common decency or whatever.”

Watching the swordsman disappear, Auri comforts a pretty shaken Lucien, while Inigo sends Rumarin a judging eye.

“What?”

“Me and Mr. Dragonfly are betting which one of you and my friend influenced the swordsman to start being snarky again.”

* * *

Lurking in the docks of Solitude, you patiently scout the East Empire Company. Passing the time by dining in one of their open food stalls, pretending to be a studying mage and peeking cautiously from under the hood which, much to your relief, is a bit above your size. Rumarin doesn’t know how much he’s helping you by _lending_ you his fake college robes. True enough, it’s a good imitation just as he said prior to Lucien’s abduction. No one ever suspected a thing—some passers by sending you weird glances is proof of that.

Well... Until this one came.

Glancing upward, you could almost feel a groan crawling out of your slightly parted lips. “I don’t recall blowing the warhorn nor telling anyone where I’m headed.” You say, fixing your attention back to the book Inigo gave you the night before. It’s about whistling for signals and the like. Handy book, it is. Your visitor takes a seat in front of you, helps himself with some of the grilled fish on your plate and drinks your tea.

“That tastes horrible.” Kaidan coughs—as if it was you who forced him to drink something that isn’t liquor. Casually licking clean his fingers, he pulls the map from his pocket, revealing a fresh scratch on his thumb. “Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t trust this crap, especially since it lacks security—”

“I’m on a job. What are you doing here, swordsman?” you sneered which he parried with humor. “_Swordsman_?” with raised brows, he feigns surprise, “Oh, so now we’re back to addressing each other like strangers?”

“You look like exhaustion given form, Kai. Did the others give you too much headache?” Not having any time for lollygagging, you decided to accept the man’s company, knowing there’s no way you’ll shake him off when you’re currently his target. But lord, does he have a horrible timing.

Kaidan flops back to his chair, studying you with curious eyes. “Just want a better company, I guess.”

“You mean quieter.”

“Better _and_ quieter.” He insists.

This time the exasperation lingering inside turned into light, gentle chuckles that melted down your companion’s sour temper. “Took you 83 days to prefer my company over solitude.” You quipped. His expression softens, propping an elbow on the table as he leans over, “I don’t have the slightest clue as to why in oblivion you would keep count of days but yeah, I guess I prefer you over this loud city.” Both of you break into snickers at the light hearted banter and you catch his eyes following as you stuff away the book inside your knapsack.

“Alright, I’ll entertain you but I might not be able to stick around, yeah? Like I said, guild assignment.”

He scoffs, unconvinced and questions your honesty with the tilt if his head, “Today’s the 7th day of Second Seed. Local clinic’s are offering free medication and you’re gonna use it for thieving activities instead of getting that magic problem of yours cured? Lazy excuse if you ask me.”

“No, no, not at all! I know it’s impractical, but my target knows he’s being compromised. Chances of him fleeing are high so I have to follow him once he pops around and that’s wh—...” all of a sudden, the spillage of words stops with you cursing yourself for falling to his trick. You close your eyes and bit down a scoff as you hear the red eyed bastard sniggering at your slip up. “God damn. You’re a fast learner aren’t you.”

“Aye.. Haha. You’re a bad influence but a good instructor.”

“Am I supposed to be flattered or what? Why in Nirn did you stalk me anyway?”

“I came here to tell you that,” Kaidan warily looks into your eyes, “I won’t be getting any of that ‘common decency’ you were talkin’ about in the letter. I’m not letting you die, remember?” he cracks one of those cocky grins he’s so good at and which always causes an irrepressible smile to break your composure. “Stendarr’s mercy on my soul, you’re going to get me fired, man.”

When was the last time you laughed like this with just the two if you? He’s not even funny but your cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling too much. Not to be mistaken for playing favorites but being alone with Kaidan brings you a different kind of joy. All of them have their own quirks, of course, but something about this man feels so odd—familiar and new, as if he were someone you’ve known for long yet never interacted with. It’s a welcomed shocker how comfortable you two are despite the differences.

“Sure, I got you right there. But you can’t make a noise when I start _my_ stalking, Kai...” the smile you have slowly drops along the lightness in your tone. “I want to avoid spilling blood to the best that I can. It makes me feel... strange.” Even trying to talk about it feels iffy.

“Strange? What strange?” he inquires, unsettling you with his sudden interest. Does he really believe you with those eyes or is he gonna prank you with it? “Hey. I’m listening now. I swear it.” He affirms, scooping up your hand. You can tell he’s also a bit astounded by his own advancement but he didn’t pull away—the same way he allowed the warmth of your touch back in Fort Greenwall to bind you together and share in a moment of transparency.

“I sense something different.. Something that isn’t me. It feels like I’m succumbing to it whenever I take a life. It was very present when we were rescuing Lucien. I know it doesn’t make sen—”

“Don’t be sorry.” He cuts in. By the gods, his face is nothing short of serious. Despite your doubts and fear that Kaidan wouldn’t take your word for it, you only feel him squeeze your palm gently as a response. Funny, looking at him from under the hood feels like he’s easing you out of your own shell. You’re not secretive, but the fear of the others leaving you if they learn about this, that’s a big reason for you to keep it to yourself until a solution comes into light.

“Why didn’t you talked about this sooner?”

Crimson eyes were washed over with concern and it felt good and bad at the same time. You never desired to worry or spook anyone yet it’s a huge comfort to know he’s not viewing this as a joke.

“I-I don’t even know what’s happening. I thought they were just messed up memories resurfacing but... It just doesn’t feel like it at all.” You confessed. Drawing ominous looking symbols without your awareness couldn’t possibly account for a simple case of sleepwalking. Even so, Kaidan never showed a glimmer of doubt, even coming up with a question to further try and elaborate your predicament. “Have had any encounter where you’ve been struck with something, like a powerful spell?”

This brings you suddenly back to a hazy memory of some vile spell being hurled at you in one of your dreams and further past to when Rumarin was accompanying you inside the Nordic Ruin. “...A curse?” you say and the swordsman’s eyes widens as if you’ve given him an answer he’d long awaited. He suggest you try and remember anything from your past—a spell gone wrong, meddling with dark arts, a cult or a witch’s doing. Everything else he’d spoken after that seemed to have escaped your hearing.

A witch..?

_“Kill him before he gets you.”_

What?  
Why did I think of that?

_“He’s scared. Look at him. He knows. He won’t hesitate to end you. Us.”_

These aren’t my thoughts.

_“You mortals are weak. You need me. You need my power.”_

“..-s a slim chance, I know, but it wouldn’t hurt seeking advise from a scholar or even a priest—”

“Get out of my head...!” You hissed under your breath and you knew that it wasn’t just your imagination right there. You flinched once he brushes his thumb on your skin, realizing he just witnessed what occurred. “Kaidan, I’m sorry. It.. It wasn’t for y-..”

“What happened?” he asked. No surprise, no ill intent, no signs of being offended. Just pure concern overshadowing his every move. Why is this happening now?

“I’m not.. I don’t know- I can’t..“ you tried tugging the hood to conceal the fear spreading like wildfire on your face but he catches your other hand.

“You have to calm down. Can you describe it?”

You mumble out an answer which you couldn’t understand yourself. Is there really _something_ inside you? The very thought is enough to make your skin crawl and Kaidan interrogating you like this isn’t helping your nerves.

  
“I know it’s a stretch but..”

Kaidan, stop it.

“..listen to me, I think-”

_Please_. Enough questions.

“-that you’re being possessed.”

“I have to go.” You quickly told him, shaking off from his grasp. Ocean eyes followed a familiar figure from afar and he calls you, asks if you understood him but now’s not the time for that. “I see him, Kai. Gotta go. Sorry.” You hurriedly fixed the small sack, keeping your sights on the target. He’s headed inside the East Empire establishment, and as if things weren’t already hard enough, the argonian’s caution is evident with his constant looking around, no doubt in search of potential threats to his safety. Stealing one last glance at the swordsman, an apologetic smile is all you could manage before you begun your pursuit.

* * *

Things went quicker than you’d expected. Hadn’t it been for Kaidan’s help, getting inside would have proved to be a challenge. Sure, you two did have to do some distractions, knock out some guys, get past lazy guards, hide underwater—no, wait, that one you had to do alone since you ran out of places to hide. It does create a pleasant image but no way in oblivion you’ll agree to get awkwardly sandwiched between Kaidan and a stone wall.

Now you’re here. Soaked and freezing from the cold, but here in an undisturbed place somewhere inside the East Empire warehouse nonetheless, with Kaidan holding out a stolen dagger on Gulum-Ei’s neck and your hand on a note the argonian had kept with his person. He won’t talk his way out of this, not with that stammering.

“Alright, _friend_. Let’s do this one more time,” it nearly came close to a growl, trying to cover up the shaking of your voice. “Who’s this Karliah?”

“Mercer never told you about her? Karliah is the thief responsible for murdering the previous Guild Master, Gallus.” He readily confessed, “Now she's after Mercer.” Woah, woah, woah—what is with this big time scheme you’ve gotten yourself into? Shit. And Kaidan’s here as well. Just great.

A soft gasp escaped you, “It really was only about mr. Frey, then? Why drag in the whole guild? And why are you helping her?”

“Help... ? No, no! Look I didn't even know it was her until after she contacted me. Please, you have to believe me!” he pleaded, not wanting to do with any of this and hurriedly turns over another letter, “Here, take the Goldenglow Estate Deed as proof. And when you speak to Mercer, tell him I'm worth more to him alive.” He says, revealing that neither him nor that Karliah woman wanted it as she intended to keep the business deal a secret. That went well, obviously.

“I’m assuming you don’t know anything about this “Where the end began” thing she said?”

“It better be the truth. Otherwise, it’ll be blood that’ll spill outta your mouth.” Kaidan pokes the blade’s edge on Gulum-Ei’s scaly neck, “N-No..! I swear! It was the last I heard of her!” he squirms.

“Why the hell would she have to do this much trouble if the only target is mr. Frey? Why buy Goldenglow?” you prod on. If Brynjolf’s gonna hear about this, you might as well get as much answer you need from this guy.

“I asked her the same thing and she wouldn't come out and tell me.” He winces from your companion’s grip, “B-But now that I know who she is, I'd say she's trying to hit the Thieves Guild where it hurts.”

“How would that hurt the Guild?”

“Maven Black-Briar needs Goldenglow's honey for her mead. She's been using the Guild to keep the Estate under her thumb. If the owner cuts the Guild out of the picture, he's cutting Maven out of the picture... which she can't afford. If I was Maven, I'd blame the Guild for weakening and not being able to handle the place.”

“Which makes Maven lose faith in us.” You mutter, not missing the way Kaidan’s expression shifts as he pieces things together despite his lack of context of the situation.

“Exactly. For the Guild to survive, they need Maven's support. This Karliah must have spent a lot of time and resources planning this.” Gulum-Ei’s input couldn’t possibly be a hoax. He knows Mercer’s got enough to pay for his death wherever he may be—business contact or not, his involvement outweighs his value to the guild. Easing up and nodding affirmatively, Kaidan nearly shoves the argonian to the ground when you gave him the signal. Gulum-Ei walks it off but is visibly irked by your companion’s roughness.

"Now you won't forget to tell Mercer I cooperated, will you?” he’s not kidding when he said he’s used to dealing with thugs. You wonder how many times he got himself in this kind of situation; most likely he doesn’t, given how like you, the guy prefers it civilized. It’s just business anyway.

“Sure thing, your highness. But you’re gonna owe me.” You happily bargained in which he met with the same enthusiasm.

“Now you're speaking my language. Tell you what. If you need any stolen goods fenced, you bring them to me and I'll pay you good money for them.” The scaly fellow dusts off his garments and reaches his hand out, “Consider me your new friend in the north.”

In spite of your reluctance, you relied on your instincts and shook hands with the shady argonian. It might be irrational now but who knows when his services will be handy in the future? 

* * *

One. Two. Three. Four. F—

_“Oi, I’m talking to you!”_

—cking damn it. Just keep walking. Keep walking and don’t mind the noisy big man. Wrap yourself in your newly acquired cloak and don’t look back.

“Hey! Can you stop ignoring me alre—”

“Can you stop calling me every five seconds!”

Kaidan pulls at your cloak and refuses to let it go after you tug it back. Despite trying not to, you feel your brows crease together at his stubbornness and he mirrors your reaction. “The hell, why’d you agree to make a deal with him??” Why not? Poor bastard’s frightened to the bone and the guild strongly implied his importance—you’ve got a bit of leverage and used it. That argonian understood this, is it too complicated to take in?

“I’m making friends.”

“By threatening to slit their throats. Right. You know he can turn on you-” By the name of every divine, you have never rolled your eyes so hard before. Why is he so determined to talk about a guild he has nothing to do with? “This is a serious threat. We have to talk about what happened there.”

“You want to talk about something we talked about when you were right there listening as we talk about it. Do you hear yourself, Kaidan? What more do you want to know?”

The swordsman needed a short moment processing what you just said and you took it as an opportunity to get away from him. Gods, is this a joke? Your memories coming back in the most horrid ways, questions spawning faster than enlightenments, creepy voices messing with your mind, the whole guild in danger and you’re the only one who can relay this message to them. On top of that, your magic is suddenly cut off, then Kaidan claims you’re possessed. That’s right, you heard every word he was saying—it’s plausible but how are you even supposed to react to that? It’s just only now that things are sinking in and you don’t know which ones to give priority.

“..he might’ve alerted her so chances are that Karliah person will put you in her list as well.”

Good heavens, he’s not gonna stop is he!? Finally letting go of the last strand of patience you’ve been gripping on, you twisted around so suddenly that he’d surely knock and trample you over hadn’t he reacted fast enough.

“Kaidan. By the Gods, I know you mean well. You are only looking after me to the best of your capacity. Thank you! But look, I really need to dry off first.” You pleaded, half whining and slightly letting him get a peek of Rumarin’s drowned clothes underneath the cloak Galum-Ei gave you for your first purchase. “I don’t really know what to do. There’s a lot of this and that going on inside my mind. I’m still trying to dig up answers and all of a sudden I get mixed up in between this Karliah issue, do you know what a pain that is? Everything is just-...” you feel short of words when you see him genuinely shocked by your raised voice.

Regret easily bloomed in your chest the moment you put an end to your rambling. You didn’t mean to lose it like that. Kaidan patting your head and escorting you back to the inn without another word made you feel even more stupid.

“Feeling better?” Kaidan brings you another bowl of tonight’s meat stew and takes a seat just beside you. It’s the first time he’d spoken since accompanying you here and he seemed to have done some reflecting himself while you were switching back your equipment. Bowing gratefully as you reached for your meal, a hushed apology is all the swordsman receives. He never showed any sign of initiating a conversation, unlike earlier—instead he only offers you a bottle of mead to go with your food. Neither of you said a thing to one another for the rest of the hour, preferring to enjoy the bard’s performance in shared silence and drinks.

Now that you’ve gotten time to collect yourself, earlier was awkward and terribly stupid. Kaidan is probably not the best in voicing out his thoughts and he’s only showing his concern for you in the way he knows. For a warrior like him, it’s extreme skepticism and caution on anything he doesn’t trust. While the man is already preparing two steps or more for you to take just in case things take turn for the worst, you were skipping along and rotting in your self made frustration. Sure, things may come at you all at the same time, it doesn’t mean you can’t solve it one by one.

  
  
“My friend! You’re back! And Kaidan’s here!”

  
Lucien’s squeaky voice breaks the stillness between you two and you couldn’t help but beam at such a bright greeting. Rumarin was considerably, _and rightfully so_, frustrated with your recklessness towards his old college robes, even going as far as ranting about the little pranks you pull on him from the start. The high elf’s foul mood easily dissipated when you gave him some food, though.

  
“Divines! I nearly forgot! So we did your request while sight seeing earlier. Unfortunately the owner of the bookstore here is on a short leave.” The scholar clarifies, grabbing a poster from his sack. “High Rock’s going to host their annual Fire Festival on the 20th. Have a look! Guards says it’s quite the event and truly, it’s mostly the talk of the town when we pass by the market stalls. As a kid, my mother would tell me several of her experiences attending the event. Now we still got a lot of time to prepare, I was wondering if we can come visit!” The imperial waves the item on your faces like a town crier himself. Some noble patrons got attracted by the young man’s gushing and soon had him occupied with their own share of stories.

None of you have ever seen Lucien so at home. Lad’s not a snobby little brat like most well off kid his age, so it does—even when all of his items are that of a rich man’s—it does escape your mind where he’s actually from until his mouth starts running about books and dwemer ruins.

Throughout the night, you decided to stay and loosen up with your companions. You exchanged a few words with Auri, asking how likes the city and upon discovering your tree loving friend finds it too noisy for her taste, managed to earn her appreciation with the promise of leaving as soon as possible. Now that marks three of the latecomers. There’s actually that one you haven’t interacted with.

“I hope it was worth it bailing on us so you could keep my friend to yourself.”

Eagerly waiting for him to appear, you turn into the general direction where the sniggering came from. Kaidan acknowledges Inigo with a half smirk, laughing it off and telling the blue fella he found you on his way back inside the tavern. Watching these people have fun, thinking you’re in some normal adventure is exactly the reason why you’re in a hurry to finish your business with the Guild. One good haul, maybe even after apprehending this Karliah will surely be already big enough for them to grant you a clean exit.

That way you can start fresh.

You can finally...

_“...You need me. You need my power—"_

“Inigo, can I borrow you for a sec?” you watch as the khajiit’s ears perked up at your invitation. He cheers and follows you, playfully teasing the others about something in between the lines of ‘still being companion number one’ and ‘make way for the best friend’. His presence is always refreshing and his insights are invaluable to you even when he believes otherwise. Maybe he can shed some light on your conflicted thoughts.

* * *

“Possessed?” Inigo’s baffled face makes you think twice if he was really taking this thing seriously or not. Regardless of this, you fervently nod.

“I know! Can you believe it? I mean he did say it was just a guess. But then he just kept persuading me to see a priest or whatever.” You vent out, flopping onto the bedside and glancing at the wooden door of your room. Just gotta make sure there are no eavesdroppers, yeah? Why in Nirn would he accuse you of... _Ysmir’s tangled filthy beard!_ Did he see it? Did he see those scribbles?! God damn why are you so slow today? You’re not possessed—because, yes you’ve been hearing foreign voices and thoughts inside your head even when there’s no one around, and yes your grip on your own actions were slipping on those occasions where you felt anger spike through the roof; but it doesn’t have to mean you’re possessed. Right?

_Why is Inigo looking at you like that?_

He drops his usually jolly demeanor, eyes straying elsewhere and cups his chin. “Erm.. What makes you think you’re not?”

“WHAT?”

“My friend, don’t panic! I didn’t mean that you’re.. not _YOU_.” He gestures grandly, cautiously thinking of his next words, “I mean.. Maybe that brooding swordsman of ours isn’t wrong. Before we arrived in Riften some weeks ago, I heard this strange, scratching noise inside your tent. Kaidan was on lookout that day and I knew it was him I heard check on your tent. After that the noise st—”

Inigo takes several steps back when you launched yourself up from where you’re seated. “Kaidan was there? When?!” you hissed.

“R-Right there! I swear! Just ask him. I know it’s his armor I heard. Anyway... That was that. It just sounded really _creepy_ but it never occurred again.”

Loss for words and slightly feeling betrayed, you slid your hands up and buried your face in it. _‘Take a deep breath and be reasonable.’ _You gave it a few seconds of silence, _“Why didn’t you tell me about this..”_ are you gonna get angry or upset? At this point, you just want to drop everything and run away instead of getting an answer. Your muffled voice came off hoarser than you intended it to. “The night I came to you, it’s because I dreamt of the witch... I had questions then which you could have answered.”

“I.. I’m sorry my friend but I don’t understand what you mean?” Inigo reaches for you and you gripped his arm, unable to look him in his eyes.

“The witch..! I dreamt of her. The moment she cursed me. The night we ran away. Inigo, you told me the witch is dead.” You grumbled, biting back any urge to raise your voice at him. You’re not about to do and regret it two times in a row today.

The khajiit places a caring hand on yours, genuine worry reflected clearly in his golden eyes. “We’ve had some encounters with witches and necromancers in our time together but I’m not sure which one you meant. I’m really sorry my friend. It is strange, I usually have my memory intact even while under skooma..” his voice trailed into a disappointed sigh.

“No.. No, geez. Don’t press yourself if you can’t remember... _sigh_. Sorry, Inigo that you had to endure me being like this. But I really appreciate you sticking around.” You quickly loosened your grip and sheepishly patted his shoulders. The blue cat returns the gesture but livelier. ”Trust me my friend, I’ll always be by your side.” He assures.

“And if I’m on the wrong?”

“Then I’ll still be by your side, giving you an earful!” he quipped, playfully shaking you. So far it shook some of your negative energies, so you owe him that. “So if you don’t want to discuss that or the other problem that is obviously caused by this secret-thief-mission... then, what do you wanna do next?”

Ruffling the back of your hair and still coming up with nothing, you gave Inigo a big shrug and whistled.

“I don’t know. Wanna go to the Fire Festival?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it keeps getting longer ō_ō gonna have to do something abt that. Buuuut I guess that'll be fair since I feel I'm gonna have to slow down in writing (●´∀｀●) this month got us busy serving couples! I'll be active both on tumblr and discord still XD
> 
> Speaking of which, Lucien Flavius and Inigo got their own discord servers! Mr. Joseph (Lucien Flavius' mod author) is very responsive with the fanbase, too! Tons to discuss: from mod making/tutorial to free sharing of fan arts/fanfics mehehe. Hope more friends join in! 〜(^∇^〜）
> 
> They also have their own facebook groups; "Friends of Inigo" and "Team Lucien - The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim mod group" which are fun places with cool people as well (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ
> 
> Let's go go go to High Rock!! (Wish me luck lmao imma do my best 🤧)


	31. Mismatched Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making it to the Port Town of Aldcroft, it's gonna be a long journey up the hills before Camlorn. Conflict seems to keep finding its way to you. That and possibly a familiar face or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really. REALLY. have a huge crush on this character throughout my playthrough with Anna NPCs.

**030**

**Mismatched Pieces**

  
** _Ending days of Rain’s Hand, 4E 200—Somewhere inside the mountains of an unknown region and nights before the group arrived at the city of Riften..._ **

Rumbling echoed inside the darkened ritual chambers, particles of magicka formed and disintegrated erratically as the priestess finished the incantation. Dalamus had been keeping watch the whole time and so far the results have been nothing but enchantments burnt to crisp. A steady, long breath escape the cloaked woman as she summoned her focus. The magicka in the air rippled once more, but this time gathering on top of the ritual circle and forming a ball of light. Just like the calm before the storm, static filled the room before it burst forth a beam of blinding light piercing the clear night sky.

“Will the cloaking runes conceal a spell that grand, my lady?” the dark elf gazed up at the marvel in front of them, awestruck despite his lack of expression.

“It should. However let us be careful still.” The priestess stood, careful not to reveal any part of her body other than what is necessary. “Master Dalamus, forgive my lack of expertise. The previous witch you worked with had a very strong, almost personal bond with the daedra she sent. Since she has long since passed, taking full control of it might be near impossible.” She bowed deeply, the ache in her arm stinging painfully under the heavy sleeves but she’ll endure. Their Lord is pleased with her work and this is the proof.

“Raise your head, my dear priestess. Tell me truthfully. What is that ray of light, then?”

She met the dunmer with calm eyes, yet malevolence run deep within, waiting to be set free as her lips curled into a wicked smile. “Worry not. I may be unable to assume full control over it but I’ve successfully awakened the being. All that’s left is to track it down.”

“How do we know of its presence, my lady?”

“I will keep trying to command it, make it perform a signal for us to identify. But my advise is that you keep your ears open and send word to our brethren planted in all of Tamriel.”

“Good. We shall bring glory to his name... Together as one and as family.”

“We shall, master Dalamus.”

* * *

** _18th Second Seed, 4E 200..._ **

Things surely move fast. One moment, Rumarin’s barely listening to them gloss over some plans about leaving Solitude and then the other, he’s already got a bucket on his lap, vision blurring in and out with the world swerving under his feet.

The world is wooden and cramped and awfully creaky.

And he is...

He is.....

_“Blluuerrgguhh...!!!”_

“Oh Y’ffre. That’s gross...”

“_Urggh_.. I know. I don’t like watching you puke either, you little runt.” Rumarin coughs.

Auri watches from her spot in the bed and spits the last of her bile in her own bucket. The others have left the spacious room to take their breakfasts and only two of them remained due to their conditions. “Valenwood uses wood, too. Imported ones so it won’t violate the pact. But I was raised in a city where the pact is strictly implemented. I rarely dealt with wood—to the point I became quite uneasy whenever there are dead plant lives around me. Being in a tight space like this surrounded with nothing but wood and _that disgusting smell_..” her words trailed into a shallow, sickened grunt. Rumarin wouldn’t understand either way.

Remind them again what they are doing in a ship for nine forsaken days?

Thundering footsteps raced the floorboards and they could already tell the door is about to burst open in _three... two... one_—

“FRIENDS! WE’RE HERE! WE’VE ARRIVED!”

Lucien slams the wooden doors wide, still catching them by surprise with his bellowing. Talk about excitement. Booking a ride by the last minute was quite a challenge but they managed to persuade the staff to squeeze them in. Considering Solitude’s docks were no short on vessels due to this event, they successfully waved the capital city goodbye on the 9th day. The imperial lad’s giddiness is a blaring announcement to everyone in the ship that he’s a bloody tourist. But yes, finally, after days of retching and swaggering like a drunken pirate, the high elf shares Lucien’s enthusiasm of finally arriving in... wherever in High Rock it is. Maybe he should have listened more?

Rumarin let his head roll to the side. “Right. Where are we again? And where are those three?”

Unexpectedly, Lucien’s sunny vibe went a total switch, crossing his arms and forming a frown they never imagined he was capable of. “That barbarian is probably following those two. Ugh, I don’t wanna talk about him. I can’t believe he called my neck scrawny! I mean it kind of is... but still, it’s mean! He’s mean. All because I asked him about books—”

Despite promising not to talk about the argument he had with Kaidan, the scholar kept fuming about it in the end.

  
  
Another soft chuckle finds its way out of you while the two waited for you to finish gearing up. Swiftly and with precision, you tie the laces of your leather coat exactly the way Kaidan taught you and it works perfectly.

“Kaidan, please consider taking it easy on Lucien. He’s our friend.” Pushing past the door, a happy blue khajiit and a grimacing swordsman greets your view. Kaidan becomes visibly irked, his heavy pauldrons bounced as he let out a loud scoff, “That’s exactly it. He’s _your_ friend. Not mine. Do I have to babysit everyone in this group now?”

“You’re the only one acting like a big baby.”

Hand over your mouth and eyes wide in delight, you were far too late to hide the sputtering between your pursed lips caused by Inigo’s sweet comeback. The khajiit’s grin only grew wider when Kaidan shoots him a dirty look. Playing it off like he’d already forgotten the remark, the stubborn man groaned out a sigh and turn his attention back on you.

“Are you sure this is fine?” he changes the subject as the three of you began making it to the others.

“Kai, we’ll be fine. I sent them a letter.”

“A message that important and you trust a courier to deliver it?”

“I get you, alright. But before you start rolling those eyes, I’ll just remind you that while I’m one of their best, I’m thankfully not one of their officers. It’s a personal guild matter which I don’t give two septims about.” You explained in hush tones, crinkling your face in fake enthusiasm. “Besides I only sent them the name. Brynjolf or Mercer should be able to understand it without exact details. If they need me they’ll summon me. Until then... let them sweat over it.”

In all honesty, you only meant to keep your affiliations with the guild until you find out what sent you there in the first place. Why would you, under the assumption that you’ve taken a bounty hunting job, resort to being back to a gutter rat. The answer isn’t definitely financial upgrade.  
  


* * *

“My ladies and my lords, welcome to Glenumbra! I have no idea which city we’re in. Ohh! Look, there are swamps!” for whatever reasons, Lucien seems to be the only one ecstatic to see a swamp first thing after being on a ship for days. Is this where the festival takes place? Bit of a let down, really. But on the bright side, the town tries to make up for its location with flamboyant decorations on each establishments. They do have fine stonework here and the climate’s pretty temperate compared to Skyrim’s. Looks like people won’t be needing their triple layered furs just to get a glimpse of the night sky. Lucien skipped down the pathways of the docks, full of zest as if he just drank a generous amount of stamina potion. Tourists are crawling around the place and several town criers can already be heard from afar.

“They’re very proud of their spices. I couldn’t even smell much of the swamps at all. It’s tingling my nose.” Inigo noted after taking a deep breath. While the others went into a bit of verbal scuffle which food to try and why it doesn't fit the planned budget, you observed the place buzz with so much life for a relatively minor town.

It’s kind of an open village, much like Riverwood. You could only wonder how their defences work here. Down the path were people wearing uniforms decorated with colorful sashes. There’s no way those floral patterns embroidered on their silks will go by unnoticed. Kaidan and Rumarin weren’t kidding when they said most of High Rock’s architecture is similar to Solitude—just more pompous and flashy by an excessively enormous amount. Even a humble town like this puts Whiterun to shame.

Kaidan went ahead and grabbed a scroll these uniformed men were waving, seeing as they are so intended on shoving it on everyone’s face. Unrolling the item, he squints, pulls the parchment to his face, and then squints again while grumbling on the side. You held your hand out and he complies, “Bloody small scripting.” He said, showing you that the scroll is a map of the town meant to guide travellers on tourist spots, services, and where to go for the day of the festival.

“It says we’re in the town called Aldcroft. The calligraphy sure is fancy.” You shot him up a glance, “But not illegible.”

“Don’t start.”

All of High Rock celebrates their own Fire Festival on the 20th, but Camlorn and Daggerfall are the ones visited by the most as both are rich in Breton traditions; with the former being the central meeting point of their culture and the latter holding quite the history, even dubbed as the Crown Jewel of Glenumbra—both truly a must visit for foreigners and adventurers alike.

Many tourists transporting days worth of luggage were in a rush to leave in order to make it for Camlorn, the next city right up the hills where the festival is to be held. You whistled in amusement upon getting a hold of the long lines of visitors waiting for the next batch of carriages. _‘Glad we’re not here to stay. Looks like we’ll be camping when we reach the city. Hopefully there’s enough space.’_ Seeing as that is the case, it’s a perfect opportunity to fill the abandoned tavern chairs and give your legs a break. Neither one of your pals plan to get in line as you can all just travel up the hills with the rest of the people who are keeping lighter loads.

The rest of the morning had been spent on sight seeing and a little snaffling here and there. Oh no worries—just enough to keep your festival trip well funded. Nobody would even notice a missing coin or two. It’s been an amazing day by far; a few eyes sticking at you among the crowd but that’s just gotta be ‘cos you’re in an adventuring group.

“We’re inside a tavern, people. Unless you got a good reason other than receding hairlines, I don’t see why you should keep it on.” Kaidan watch silently as the barmaid made a nod on Rumarin and his employer. “I understand the shyness, loves. Look around, majority here are adventurers and even mercenaries as well. We try and practice some simple house rules here.” She winked, “Can’t afford serving to outlaws. Bad for business.”

Obediently complying, they managed to finally shake off some prying eyes, though the swordsman feels someone is still watching. Apparently, townsfolk and some others are guarded when it comes foreigners. They get a lot of new faces and patrols scan the place more often than they’d like to. Disallowing hoods and masks inside the establishment helps the watchmen conduct their business quicker and makes things easier on both parties.

“Am I trippin’? I can’t believe it!”

Not a few minutes later, they already attracted some unwanted attention. A woman hollered at them, voice laced with alcohol while approaching their table. He’s got his attention fixed on the spicy stew to even pay it a glance until the drunken stranger slams her hand on the table in front of his lady companion, spilling some of the liquor her other hand holds.

“Look what the skeever dragged in~” she leers at the surprised woman. The stranger had dark skin, wore a fairly sturdy looking fur armor but seemed to have run short on threads when it came to covering her lower limbs. That or she’s from some place warmer, like the South. Her height is above the average lass, raven haired like he is, built like a seasoned fighter, too, and her light hazel eyes lingered onto no one else but his employer.

_‘Redguard, eh. Figures.’_ He internally grumbled, passing the ongoing scene as another nagging drunk patron.

“Er-.. Did you need something.. my lady?” she squeaks from under the redguard’s melting gaze. “Oh, that’s so you. Ha! All flowers and no heart.” The other one roared. When his companion couldn’t talk back, there was a long drawn out, almost groaning “What?” the stranger spoke before giving it a second of silence. “Really? You don’t remember me? Falkreath. Autumn last year. Carved up together some brigands for a few weeks before you left for the estate...? Even my name, Nadina. Nothing? Damn-”

“Estate..? You mean _the_ estate?” His companion asked.

“Whatever estate that is, I don’t care. You stopped returning my letters after that. Pretty cold, pfft.”

By this time, everyone in their table had been sending their lady friend curious looks but Kaidan paid no mind, trusting his companion to easily play it off. Instead he fixes back his attention to the mug of Camlorn beer. This ‘Nadina’ rambled on, and he was too disinterested to listen to her convince his employer, well, until she ended it with a-

“WOW. All those nights screwing each other and you forget me just like that.”

Some stew spilled, he didn’t know whom, but someone spilled a 30 gold pieces worth of food. He didn’t care and neither of them do. Everyone just froze when Nadina dropped those words.

“Uhm.. We’re _what-ing_ each other...?” the lady choked out a laugh, not in amusement but that of bafflement. Nadina’s face lit up as she loses it, dissolving into laughter that made them feel like a bunch of children hearing about sex for the first time. Not asking for permission, the redguard hauls a chair and squeezes herself in between the flustered lady and Inigo.

Nadina casually swills her drink and with absolute confidence in every fiber of her being, repeats the word with a wide, alcohol fuelled grin.

“Y-you couldn’t possibly mean it that way?”

Kaidan couldn’t help but catch a sight of his companion burning up to her ears as Nadina places an arm around her chair and scoots in, leaning close enough to cross the lady’s personal space.

“Oh, but I do. I mean it _very much_ that way. Don't you really remember those heated nights we shared? Skyrim's weather didn't stood a chance.” She daringly advances, relishing the reactions she gets as the woman reduces into a fumbling mess.

_“Ahem.”_ Kaidan, unable to further watch his companion squirm, intercepts this ridiculous scene unfolding in front of him. Why’s everyone tongue tied and letting this stranger have her way? “It’s alright if you wanna catch up, but you don’t really have to keep breathing down on her.”

The redguard looks at him and something about her smugness really just puts him off. It’s no better than dealing with drunken nords back in Skyrim, only this one wears a skin of a woman.

“Who’s this tall, handsome, and muscular man? Ugh, you always like to hoard the good ones.” She gushes at his employer, batting her eyes at him. The lady awkwardly introduces each one of them to Nadina, who introduces herself as an honest sellsword. She even pulled her mischief at Lucien upon introduction.

“Lucien Flavius, at your service.” The scholar flashes a dorky beam.

“Service, eh. I like the sound o’that.” The drunken sellsword smirks across the table, causing the scholar to have his face flushed to very roots of his hair. Nadina switches targets like selecting her next meal and Kaidan nearly walks away when she beckons his name. “Ah, I should have know you always have good eyes when it comes to picking up strays.” She hums to the lady’s ear.

It didn’t surprise the table when Kaidan growls at the redguard. “I’m not a _stray_. I’m her companion.” He said, gritting his teeth. Nadina appears to sober up a bit, eyes wide, looking back and forth to him and the lady, then gasps.

“I see! You met him, is that why you cut me off? Oh, you cheeky bastard!” the woman roars in laughter as she leans on his employer, being chummy and all and leaving no room for interruptions, “You could have just told me, eh? Wouldn’t blame you, I mean look at that fine specimen glaring over at us!”

Talos, this is going to be a pain.

* * *

The gorgeous and outspoken Nadina was surprisingly cooperative and didn’t once doubt your story’s integrity, tearing up at the hilarity of how you met,

“Found her on the field actually. Was being chased by some brigands and nearly on the verge of collapse. Her face’s the only thing untouched, armor’s shredded down with her wounds out in the open, damn woman was a walking invitation for infection. Oh but her brain had enough sense to hire yours truly, so I signed the deal and carved me up some action.”

She went into detail how you used to be a short fuse when it came to strangers but is pleasantly passionate and caring underneath. Your old friend made a note and complimented you for finally allowing yourself to be more slack but she couldn’t give you a name. Said you refused to reveal it even after you shared each other’s beds and she respected that. It was quite awkward, meeting a previous companion you had encounters with. Right before you could get a word out, she insisted that all of it were casual, no strings attached and that there were no hard feelings, just that she worried a bit whether you died after parting ways for your task. “Festival’s still on the 20th. The hell am I gon’ do squeezin’ my arse up there with the snobs when here’s where the best stew at.” Is what she said when you offered her a place in your group. It’s a bit shameful to only get that much. Seems like you kept a tight grip on your identity back then. By the time the afternoon stuck, your group were set to journey up to Camlorn.

Traversing the cobblestone pathways arranged and safeguarded by the Camlorn forces, the trip became a combination of sightseeing instead of just pure climbing. Outside the swamp territories and the misty port town of Aldcroft were verdant meadows and rolling hills that stretched over to the next settlements, which you could barely make out from the distance. It didn’t seem much back from the crowd filled port but getting a clear view now, it does make for a scenic route under the golden sun. Many travellers were moving on a steady pace, relishing the magnificent display of nature bared all around them.

Up on a higher platform, you could see more guards posted in a linear formation outlining every corner of the path on the way up where you are and probably onwards to the gates of Camlorn. They wore the same shiny silks you’ve been seeing since your arrival around their armor and it may be faint but you can't be mistaken that, as someone who’s dealt with a lot of magic for gods know why, the glimmer it creates whenever it hits the light at a certain angle shows that it’s not simply there for style.

“I’d like to think I’m getting used to this travelling on foot thing but...” the scholar huffs and puffs, readjusting the bag for better comfort. You slowed down on your tracks to check on him. “Do you want me to lighten it? I still have room.”

“Oh, thank you! But no need to.” He replies, but you’ve beckoned the rest to stop and take a breather on the next shaded spot anyway. Everyone placed their gears and sacks down on the next tree, taking the opportunity to stretch their limbs and rehydrate themselves. There was a healthy amount of silence between you and the scholar, admiring and feasting your eyes on the picturesque land before he made a small noise.

“I’ve been meaning to give you this.” He rifles through his belonging and you lazily nod, enjoying the afternoon breeze cooling your face. “Oh, hey. What’s this one?” you cooed when he places a bag of money and some sort of device on your hands. He forms a tiny smile at your curiosity, kindly informing you that the tiny device is a dwemer resonant sphere. It was an item given by his father should he finds a companion he can trust. It should work both as a tracker and a signal. With it, you won’t have to burn up the enchantment on the map if it’s only him you have to find.

“Currently, there’s only one set in my possession, though I suppose it’ll be enough. Hopefully, we won’t have to use it often. I’ll stick with you like... uhm-.. something sticky! Yep. That’s what I’ll do.” Lucien’s constantly bright smiles are enviable. It’s like the guy had nothing to worry about at all. “Also, please accept the coin. I did promise to pay every time I come across something worth studying about. W-well, I guess you wouldn’t call going to the festival ‘research’ but still, I’m glad you guys brought me here.”

You giggled quietly at the sight of him looking sheepish. “Who knows? I heard they don’t use firecrackers but mages to perform the fire dances and arts. You might pick up a two or three from there!” excited laughter circled from the two of you, having a brief discussion about the things he learned from various universities as the group started moving onward again.

“Uh, about Nadina earlier. Don’t let her get to you. She was just joking. I think.” You smiled meekly. The blonde scholar returns the gesture in his own awkward way while frantically concealing his burning cheeks, and you allowed him a moment to calm himself down. “So.. Hrm.. _Women_?”

What kind of question is that? You thanked the gods for granting you control over yourself from snorting out loud. “No-, I.. don’t know? But you heard her. She was quite proud of it being _experimental_.” Even saying it like that yourself felt weird. “A-anyway, I know there aren’t any emotional attachments between us. I would have remembered if I held any feelings that strong, don’t you think so?”

“You have a point. I guess we’ll have to part ways if you did get a lover unless it was Kaidan. Or Rumarin. Or—uhm, let’s.. let’s change the subject. _Heh_. I’m glad you’re free, then.” He happily remarked in the end, both of you pretending his earlier words never got out of his mouth. “Oh, but given her story of your time... together, something doesn’t quite add up, doesn’t it?” a tilt of your head and Lucien lays out his thoughts. “If I’m recalling your stories right, things would fall this way; first, you were travelling with Inigo then he shoots you—which he already repented for. After you survived, you and Nadina found each other. So lastly, you stopped contacting her while bounty hunting but the incident with you-know-who’s and Kaidan happened, making you forget a lot including her.” He lists down the things you’ve previously spouted and it’s scary how sharp and accurate his memory for details are despite always appearing naive or oblivious to things that do not concern his personal interests.

“The thing is, and I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.. I swear! So-.. I didn’t actually hear Nadina mention any head injury on your first meeting?” he points out, debating that it couldn’t have been more than two years ago with Inigo’s take on his story about you. Or even if it were already that long before you encountered the redguard, a head wound should still be quite notable. Nadina also agreed about the part where you can’t heal yourself, so having the wound healed that fast without leaving a scar behind is impossible for you.

_‘Damn, he’s making a lot of sense. I was a thief already when Nadina and I teamed up and before I switched to bounty hunting. I wouldn’t afford to keep her paid and get to a grand healer at the same time.'_

But if you didn’t got shot by an arrow...

_“He’s making you feel uneasy... You know how to silence him. It’ll be over swiftly.”_

Not now. You catch a glimpse of Lucien cease his talking as he turns around to see why you suddenly slowed down.

Why am I experiencing this?

_“You detest what he’s saying, don’t you?”_

Where are these thoughts emerging from.

I’m scared.

_“Foolish mortal! Why would you be afraid? We are but one and the same now! You’ve shared in my power, I’ve sealed away your pains, is this not enough—”_

Someone placed their hand on your shoulder and you jolted from the sensation. Kaidan stood in front of you, the others shortly coming over as well. “Are you alright?” he obviously knows you’re not but he accepted it when you nod and kept your eyes on the ground, unable to summon your voice. You fear that once you look up, you’ll see those crimson eyes filled up with worry again. Seems like all you ever did since Solitude is make him worry. It’s unbecoming of you.

Inigo went ahead and let the others take the lead. He and Kaidan decided to fall back and assist you in any way they can; your furry friend already taking the load off your back. He’s always ready to help without any second guess.

Just what was Lucien’s pointing at...? Is he dubious of Inigo’s story? Inigo wouldn’t be so mutually sure about you if you didn’t know each other. Your body is moving on a normal pace but your mind’s steering on all the wrong ways and it’s making your stomach churn. Unconsciously, you pressed a hand over the lower half of your face.

All these troubles triggering an itch... Making you want to carve your flesh open and pull out whatever’s been injecting those hateful thoughts inside your brain. Or just curl into a ball and roll down the hills. Why did you have to go through and what have you done to deserve this? Fucking oblivion, it wasn’t even there until a few weeks ago! What the hell did this ‘witch’ do to you. Just having foreign thoughts fire inside your brain is enough to fuel your nightmares even more.

Every inhale is a struggle to keep the pessimistic thoughts out of bay. _‘I just want it to stop.’_ The only thing running inside your mind and it keeps repeating over and over into faded screams you won’t be able to voice out right now. All the what if’s and worst case scenarios forming faster than you could count and it’s no better than losing grip of things.

“Can I hold your hand?” Kaidan asked, steadily pacing to walk on your right side.

What.

For all that’s good and sacred, you must have been going insane. No way he said that just now.

That proved to be a lie when the swordsman reaches out his hand, asking for the one covering your face. Reluctantly placing your hand on his, your cold skin relished in the warmth his gloved hand provided. “Hm. Your fingers are quite cold.” He notes, sending Inigo a look. “Ah-, my friend, my furs can help with that! Give it a try!” the jolly cat beams, rearranging his hold on both your sacks to offer you his left hand.

“Uhm.. Sure.” You confusedly smiled back, too lost in your grievances to find the reason behind their sudden attentiveness. Kaidan lets out a tiny breath of relief and jokingly asks you which one you like better. “Both are fine. I like Inigo,” you say, slightly glancing up at him before fixing your eyes on the road, “and I like you, too.”

“What?—I mean, t-that was a joke. Uhh.. Did you mean our hands feel the same?”

The corners of your lip curled slightly as you heard Inigo laugh at Kaidan tripping on his words. That might’ve taken him off guard, you knew he isn’t one used to receiving compliments. Same as you. “Not like that. Inigo’s got really soft furs despite the sturdiness of his hand,” “_Hee hee_, yes, I love being covered in fur!” he chimed, and you continue, “Kaidan’s gloves aren’t as soft and they’re a little worn and it could use some washing, but it warms me up just the same. Or maybe it’s just ‘coz they belong to people I favor.” 

Kaidan hummed in affirmation. “I see... Huh, these steps don’t end, do they?” he’s skeptically talkative. It’s painfully obvious he’s up to something. “Tell you what, let’s count twenty steps then I’ll show you what I bought from the port.” Really, what’s with him and this weird activity?

“Oh, okay. Here we go! No cheating.” Inigo’s adorably following along so you thought it wouldn’t be so bad to try and keep up with his energy. The three of you huffed out the numbers softly and quietly every step forward.

It felt silly at first, really, but each count you spoke made it easy to escape your worsening thoughts. With every step you made, it lessened the invisible weight. Your attention’s already back on your surroundings before you knew it. The fresh air up where you are, the tourists making delighted and awestruck noises, small things that reminds you you’re still here.

It felt good to just exist in the moment.

“And as promised. Here. It’s a treat. Supposedly, Camlorn has more of that.” The swordsman unrolls the linen and hands you both a slice of sugared bread. “Well? How does it taste?” “Great!” You mumbled, chewing the pastry. He must have picked it up on a rush. “Quite sweet but I love the taste of honey mixed inside. The bread taste good, I bet its texture will be far more superb if served right out of the oven. I expect it to be slightly crispy outside before biting on to the chewier insides of the pastry.” You gave him a lengthy review after taking a bite and found yourself making muffled laughs in between consumption. Inigo shares the same opinion, looking forward to see if they serve sweetrolls up in the city.

“Well you sound livelier now. Feel any better?” Kaidan finally graces you with a warm smile that you couldn’t believe you’re seeing with your two eyes right now.

“Yes. Thank you, both.” Embarrassment set in before you could even form a proper smile, “Wait, was all of that for me?” You blinked in confusion, realizing his kind act. “W-what is it? I thought we were playing a game?” the khajiit’s ears perks up in shared cluelessness. Kaidan only chuckled quietly and gave you a friendly pat on the shoulder. “I won’t have you losing your wits halfway through this event. For now, let’s get this festival over with.” It held sternness in it but it wasn’t reprimanding in any way.

Just then you hear a certain clunk that could only belong to a sword being unsheathed.

“Pardon me, travelers.” A woman warily greeted from behind. She wore a combination of faded blue robes and light armor with a paler yellow cloak draping past her knee. Apart from the strange medallion adorning her neck, you couldn’t find anything identifiable from her attire. “Have you seen any strange occurrence involving magic... here...” her commanding voice falters the moment she saw your face and loosens her grip on the sword’s hilt under her cloak. She looks like she’d seen a ghost.

Inigo respectfully greeted back and told the woman they have not encountered anything of the sort but she seemed to heed it no attention.

“I-If that is all, then..” You excused your group as her conflicted expression started to perturb you but the woman sheathes her blade. She strode a few steps forward, prompting Kaidan and Inigo to shield you away and she raises both hands to show she means no harm, studying you as if she laid eyes on something ancient.

Few are her words, yet the weight it carried were nothing short of mind-boggling. A shaky breath, and with trembling lips, she spoke,

“It’s you. By Stendarr... You’re alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work is killing me @u@ hahaha OTL I wasn't keeping up with the numbers but I'm sure I've made more beverages today than I've submitted homeworks back in my teens.
> 
> Writing this fanfic helps me keep sane, so thank you very much to myself 😂 also to the people in the Lucien Flavius discord just ready to hear you vent out some stress. <3


	32. Rekindle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day before the grand festival and the group meets a strange woman. What kind of answers does she hold?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tekken announcer voice*  
A new OC has arrived!
> 
> (She's just a guest, don't worry ∩˙▿˙∩)

**031**

**Rekindle**

Being on a ship reminded Kaidan a lot of things. He and his mentor, Brynjar, would cross around Tamriel for reasons that remained unclear even now. All he could guess is whatever the old man did, he did to hide them both from whatever he was running away from. 

He’ll admit he never got to lounge above the lower deck, all warm and cozy in front of a small fire like this. He and this two rowdy best friends couldn’t find rest yet so they decided to hang around the common room. Several passengers dropped by to do the same but never lingered as much as they did. Kaidan kept a bottle of ale in his person the whole time. He’d meant to sleep after finishing it but these two on the couch won’t just leave him to his thoughts.

He silently observed from his chair as his lady companion listened and laughed at Inigo’s tales of misadventure with his late brother for the past hour. Several times he’d caught her gesture subtly with her hand and quickly remembers she’s still unable to do her normal tricks. Only once was he unable to stop himself from snorting when she reflexively motions at the food to no avail and a grape immediately came flying towards him.

“Oi,” he’d chuckle at her response, “starting a food fight in the dead of the night? How uncivilized.” He flashes her a cocky grin, hearing her mutter a snide remark under her breath. “No, no. He’s right, my friend. We shouldn’t start food fights.” Inigo reminded her like he’s talking to a child with his index finger stuck up like that, which the swordsman appreciates. It’s delightfully rare to see Inigo having a matured take on things.

“It is only ideal to do such a thing when the room is full of people.” The khajiit added.

Nevermind, Kaidan takes it back.

“You ought to be more like Inigo, Kai.” she teased flatly. “Why are you so quiet anyway? We know you’ve been listening. Just join us.” He raises a curious brow at her suggestion. The tiny bottle of liquor was enough to ease him to sleep while keeping him warm all the same. Well... That and her melodic hushed voice lulling him into a peaceful trance is already helpful enough. What more could he ask for?

“He’s sharing stories. Would you like to as well?” she asks, tapping the armrest as the two scoot over to make room for him on the other end of the furniture.

“Pfft. What’s there to share aside from my scores of battles you’ve probably heard already?” Kaidan said, trudging and falling to the welcoming cushions of the couch.

“I agree.. This hour of the night begs for transparency. Since it’s just the three of us, I’d like to think it’s okay if it’s something personal, then?” Inigo suggested from their side and volunteered to go first. “This may not be a happy thing to share but it is not something I should keep hidden. I never went into detail how my brother met his end.” He said in a suddenly tamer voice and Kaidan knew this would be both curious and sad. Once earning both their permissions, Inigo adapted a serious tone. “I awoke one morning to a lot of noise outside our tent. My brother staggered in bleeding and pushed our father’s sword into my hand. He said that if I loved him I would run. He used the last of his strength to rip out the back of the tent and pushed me down the slope beyond.”

Seeing as that was quite the ice breaker and neither of the two on both his side vocally reacted to it, Inigo went on but not after taking a deep breath. If Kaidan had to guess, it was to prepare himself rather than his audience.

“Some khajiit hating locals had blamed us for a spate of robberies in the area and had decided to take the matter into their own hands. Twelve of them had snuck up on us in the night. My brother... died but I live because of him.” The tense break before the word ‘died’ fell out was somehow hinting that he’s still struggling with the harshness of its truth.

It might be the faint trace of alcohol but Kaidan’s not gonna sit around like a mute after Inigo did his best to open up something like that. “I’m sorry. Losing your brother like that must have been terrible.” he said. The blue fellow nodded, giving them both a sad smile when the lady pressed a gentle hand on Inigo’s back.

“Yes. That morning I lost all that was dear to me... Unfortunately I also uncovered a side of myself I never knew existed.” Mildly ashamed but still Inigo readily confessed the things he did; becoming an outlaw and the skooma, how he threw away his honor in false belief that banditry was the kind of life he was meant to walk, how he allowed his addiction to have him cast everything of true value aside, especially his friendship with the lady—all of which he severely regrets. In just a few minutes, what started out as a seemingly honest discussion took a complete slide downhill and the swordsman admires Inigo’s ability to trust them with such a sensitive story.

“I know Fergus is already gone but each time I tell a story of our past adventure, somewhere in the deepest corners of my brain wants to think that he’s alive, just faraway.” The khajiit sighed. “I miss him very much, but part of me is glad that he did not witness what became of me after his passing.” He admitted, letting his guilt ridden words reveal his heart. “Oh, Inigo.. That was before. If you had died instead of him, he may have travelled a similar path.” The woman said. It was not the best attempt at comfort but he knew she tried. “I appreciate the sentiment but I hit rock bottom and kept digging. He would have been stronger.”

“Hey, losing him like that was bound to affect you.” Kaidan insisted, giving the khajiit a firm pat on the shoulder. “I’m sure he would have understood.” But it made little difference to the khajiit’s mood with the response he gave,

“Maybe you are right. It is a nice thought but I suppose I will never know.” Another sigh followed by an uncomfortable silence prompts the khajiit to mutter an apology which they hastily rejected. “Don’t apologize, my friend-” the woman frets, “I’d hate to see you all in low spirits but not everyone has a perfectly happy past. I’m just thankful you shared this with us.”

“Aye. Your brother is remarkable. No doubt he’d be glad to see you trying to get back up on your feet.” Kaidan assures, and with a few more encouragement, Inigo’s back in a lighter mood.

“Guess it’s my turn?” Kaidan emptied his bottle before leaning forward, the other two looking eager and attentive. “I already told about my mentor, Brynjar. He was a Nord and a bounty hunter. So you could already pick up why I did a lot of travelling in my childhood.” He started, “Of course, as I go on, I’m finding there was more to it than that. The constant moving, teaching me how to live in the wilderness, teaching me every day how to fight. I learned to use a sword even before I learned how to read.”

It’s not something he regretted, not even a single moment. But occasionally he’d wonder what a ‘normal’ childhood would have been like.

“Sounds like an odd childhood.” The woman shrugs then looks at Inigo, who more or less had the same upbringing, just less hostile. “Sounds fun to me.” Inigo countered and they shared a giggle. Kaidan scoffed out a chuckle as well, bringing up the time when his mentor took him on a hunting trip for his thirteenth birthday and disappeared while he’s fast asleep, leaving him with nothing but the most basic tools for survival.

“It took me two days to get back to civilization. But I learned the importance of self sufficiency then.” He told them, a fleeting sense of fulfilment lacing his voice. The nameless lady had exclaimed her bafflement, prodding on as to why his mentor would do that. “I think Brynjar was running away from something, and he spent my whole life teaching me how to defend myself from whatever it was. Not that he ever told me. He was always vague about his past... and even more about mine.” he revealed, tone growing darker. “Always promising to tell me one day, and then _dying_ before he ever got around to it..” he couldn’t bite back the resentment that had seeped in while talking about it. All the trouble with the sword, with his past—if only that old bastard trusted him enough to tell him. Instead Brynjar chose to leave in such a disgraceful way.

“Kaidan...?” Inigo and the woman had poked at him, telling him he isn’t obligated to say anything he isn’t comfortable about.

The swordsman blinked twice before he realize how deep a frown he was making and easily shook it off, giving his tale a better closure. “Pay it no mind. That run in with the Thalmor seem to have shed some light to it, though.”

“I suppose it does. Maybe the sword has something to do with them. Or something they’re after. Like the Blades?” Inigo suggested. “You think so, eh? Maybe we’ll get to that at some point.” Kaidan nodded, halfway to pulling himself up when the woman complains that she hasn’t shared her part yet.

“You? What in the Nine Divines are you gonna share about yourself with your memory wiped out?” He laughed almost in mockery as he raised a brow.

“I-I have more going on than just scribbling weird crap on dirt in the middle of the night, I’ll have you know!” she grumbled as Inigo prevents her from swatting at Kaidan. Joking about her possession now? She’s abnormally phlegmatic about her dangerous situation, he’ll give her that.

“Let’s hear it.”

“I uhm.. It might not be a story. But Inigo said you needed to hear it as well given you knew what transpired in my tent _that_ night.” Now this piques the red eyed man’s interest. She claims to dream about her memories, by will or not remained unknown to her. What’s troubling was the way she described it. “This didn’t use to occur. I had repeating memories, most of which I’ve disclosed to both of you. You both know that.” She reiterated, waiting for both of them to nod in affirmation.

True, Kaidan knew about the ruined mansion, hellish nights of reliving defeat endlessly, the dying man she fervently tried to save—she’d labelled the man her _‘father’_ in one of their conversations though she admitted it didn’t struck any emotions for her. It’s always just been the ever present pangs of guilt remaining when she wakes.

“Only weeks ago, around the time you caught me. I think something happened, and whatever it is inside me or my mind started stealing away my memories whenever I wake up... Or at least it felt like..” she paused, staring intensely into the fire. There was a hint of fear behind those conflicted eyes when she faced them. “Like it was a different realm. One which wouldn’t let my memories out when I return to my reality.”

“Hang on, I don’t follow.” Kaidan cut in, “You think whatever it is messing you up is preventing your memories from returning?”

“It’s possible. The timing couldn’t be a coincidence—if you don’t find the entity’s sudden existence suspicious enough already.” Inigo answered, backing his best friend’s speculation. But they’re not wrong.

“See where this is going? This thing comes out of me and my memory might resume to return continuously.” The woman concluded in determination.

Wow. How absent minded was she during their talks? She really has his words fly way above her head. Kaidan couldn’t help but grin at his companions. “It’s not like we’re letting that thing take residence in you in the first place.”

Now to find a person properly equipped to deal with it.

* * *

** _Present time..._ **

“Who’s the madam in official looking robes?” Lucien whispered over Rumarin who was just as ignorant to the stranger sharing their campfire. Auri’s face pops in view as she leans in from the high elf’s other side, “I think she’s working with the festival security. Look, her leathers matches those I’ve seen the guards wear.” She whispered back.

Evening struck and the group made camp in one of the designated spots. Lone travellers started setting for the night unlike the ones in bands and groups who took nightfall as an advantage, yearning to get ahead of the others to secure a good spot before the festival day. Of course there are a few exceptions, one of them being their little group. Propping up their tents came easily after landing a conveniently empty spot near a tree, using up the dried bones Auri prepared from Solitude.

It puzzled them a bit when the others had brought a stranger to camp with them for the night and the person in question quickly catches on after rolling out her pack. She approaches the trio and fixes back her hood to better show herself.

The maiden had her brown hair neatly pulled back in a simple braid just like the nameless lady, fair skin and is still rather young, if not a few years older than them.

“Good evening. I must ask your forgiveness for not introducing myself sooner. My name is Lyanna. I hail from this country and serve as an apprentice in a temple at Camlorn. My fellow kinsman have made for the city ahead of myself and so I travel alone. I dearly hope my presence do not bring you any discomfort.”

Her expressionless face isn’t one to earn her a friendly first impression but she does make it up with her excessive formality and initiative. Given that their other companions have mysteriously vanished after dropping their own camping gears, they permitted themselves to freely engage the apprentice in casual talks. It consisted mostly of queries about the city’s festival practices, what to look forward to, where to eat, which fascinating sights to see. And while Lucien isn’t holding himself back from quenching his thirst for information, Auri herself had started looking around, wondering wherever those three could be.

“What do we do? She’s a priest.” Kaidan muttered, arms crossed as the armored man leans his back on a tree somewhere nearby your designated camping spot.

“What do you mean? And she’s an apprentice, to be exact. We’re not gonna do anything.” You replied.

“A temple apprentice armed like that, are you kidding me?” he has this tone that came hand in hand with frowning whenever he’s displeased with your reasoning.

“You clearly weren’t listening. They’re the only temple in there. They can’t afford to be defenseless since the government can’t spare enough to secure their establishment.” A festival garnering just about two times the size of Riften’s general populace will surely need healers on stand by. With that said, healers who doesn’t have any mode of self defence in such a large scale event only invites more trouble.

“And earlier when she called us out?”

“Uh-uh, don’t. She said she made a mistake about who I was earlier. I trust her.”

Kaidan’s expression hardened before he snapped, “And what of my judgement? You don’t trust me?”

Not even you could ever know where that tinge of bitterness came from but its definitely in his words. Kaidan catches his breath and briefly mirrors your shocked face before he averted his eyes.

“... Are you two done?” Inigo cautiously intervened, banishing the tension that was sprouting in between. “My friend, I’m not taking sides here but I think you should consider viewing things in this man’s perspective.” He gently argued. It’s not that you don’t. Sure, you understand the initial mistrust with someone who comes running at you and displays a strange behaviour before backtracking about it and then asking if they can tag along, but other than her mildly concerning introduction, the apprentice named Lyanna didn’t smell like trouble. Inigo’s advice make sense. Sighing, you clasped your hands together and gave Kaidan a slight bow as an apology, which he returned after the man fortunately let his head cool.

“Look, the main thing is she’s working in a temple. She’s a breton. She can guide us inside the city and possibly point us somewhere who can check on me.” Seeing Kaidan’s eyes widen in realization makes you regret not coming up with those words earlier. “And she’s most likely well versed in restoration. Would be useful while I’m out of it.”

“I... Hadn’t thought of it that way.” he admitted.

“That’s cool.” you and Inigo said in unison. “We shouldn’t forget to keep our guards up, though. This is still a stranger we’re having with us.” Inigo warned.

Sweating the tiniest details doesn’t help. Everyone’s mind works differently, react differently, and that’s where compromise comes in. What everyone learned so far is the importance of achieving a common ground at the end of it all.

“Hello.”

The tiny greeting easily cut through your conversation. Spinning on your heel to the voice’s general direction, you see Auri standing still and giving you a small wave.

“Join us for dinner?”

That marks the end of your discussion. You must have been gone a while which started to worry the bosmer. After coming into an agreement, you opted to go back to the camp—wouldn’t want to keep Lyanna all by herself there, after all.

“Wait..” Auri calls, holding your hand. “Is there a problem?” her thin voice matched the worry budding in her amber eyes. “I’m here to help. I’ll listen.” She said, giving your fingers a light squeeze and sincerity on her face.

You smiled back, “Everything’s fine, Auri. Thank you.” A white lie. _‘I’m sorry, Auri. I’m keeping as many people out of this as possible.’_ You internally sighed, squeezing her hand back as you manage a sad smile.

“You don’t have to watch her every move. Auri’s just checking on her.” Inigo poked at the swordsman who had stopped on his tracks to look back. “Ah~ apparently, she’s quite the charmer. And here I thought it was I who’d been attracting the ladies.” The khajiit jests.

Kaidan simply shook his head in resignation and went about his way. There’s only so much foolery he can participate in within a single day. But... Inigo does make a point. Not only is she capable of being appealing when needed, the one he’s indebted to is _really_ an attractive person to start with.

A facial structure so easy on the eyes it looks like the Gods themselves moulded it, eyes that sparkled with the most mesmerizing shade of blue he’d ever seen, and her smile that just looked so _damned_ good no matter how she wore it to seal the whole package—if she didn’t horsed around so much with them, one would no doubt mistake the beguiling woman to be a member of an extremely rich family. Point is, she’s bound to attract some attention, right? Kaidan isn’t blind. And he especially engraved it in his memory when Lyanna’s icy expression shatters like the thinnest of glass upon his employer’s arrival. The _apprentice_, as she’d like to be addressed, made it hard to shake off his suspicions when she couldn’t keep her eyes off his companion and fidgets when she finally gains her attention.

Wait. Did he mistake her as a threat? The apprentice may be very well just smitten with—

_‘Why am I thinking like this? Get your shit together! Stop getting distracted with trivial stuff.’_ He berated himself. Something’s amiss with this woman’s appearance, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it yet. In all honesty, this is exhausting. Can’t they just have a nice, peaceful festival before dealing with this ruckus? Something tells him the Divines are already shaking their heads before he can even properly ask.

“M-my name...!?” the woman’s slightly raised voice pulled him out of his ruminations. Oh? Anybody would obviously ask. She stuttered to find an immediate answer and shoots a glance at Lucien who became equally panicked.

“...It’s uhm.. Uh-..”

_“Candle!”_ Lucien blurts out, “Her name is... C-Candle. Right _EVERYONE_?” the imperial gazed widely at the rest, begging them to play along. Rumarin didn’t bother hiding his amusement, of course, laughing openly at the name they chose on the fly. “I’m sorry—I just can’t help it when I hear her name.”

At least he somehow cooperates.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Candle.” Lyanna uttered ever so softly, “Once again, I am in your debt for allowing me to share your fire. I wouldn’t make it in time if I had to travel alone.”

“No worries. Our four legged friends are very strong. Feel free to throw in your heavier items on the steed. He’s still got a lot of free room left.” 

The night went by with everyone passing on a little chat here and there as usual. The breton apprentice welcomed every question thrown at her and gave appropriate answers to the best that she can, and just as the swordsman initially observed—Lyanna only ever showed a droplet of emotion whenever she’s talking to his employer.

_Candle._

Kaidan had no bloody idea why they all just went along with such a ridiculous name.

* * *

“So... How often do you have accidents during the festival?

The quiet Lyanna flinches at your query, and sudden proximity. “N-not much, my la-.. I mean, Candle.” She asserts herself, steadying her pace as you two walk side by side. “We usually cater to the common folks passing out from overcrowded spaces. The shows are performed by expertly trained battle mages. Originally, it was a means of showcasing the military strength but as time went on, it evolved into a celebrated festival all around High Rock...”

True, she seems weird but she might just be a meek priestess-to-be all along. Besides, that horrible noise died down when she introduced herself. It’s dormant for most of the time but this time it felt like it just sealed away itself. Lyanna being a temple attendant must have repelled its presence. _‘And I feel pleasant around this stranger.’_ It might be a good thing if you can hang around with her throughout the whole event.

“Not only the country can display our myriad of specialties and crafts, the event also extends its invitation to many highborns, opening thousands of opportunities to establish connections, trades, and partnerships... Uhm, are you-.. Are you not familiar with this, if I may ask?” she continued.

“Hm? No. I’m afraid it’s my first time in this country. But that explains the army of nobles spilling out from every ship at the port.” Yikes. It’s hard to play it normally when you’ve barely had any time to hit the books. You ought to revisit your history after you skim over the ones about the Divines—can’t keep asking them for favors without even remembering their names, yeah? Lyanna wore a thin smile that veiled her troubled eyes.

“Are you alright?” you tried to meet her eye to eye and just a heartbeat later, you watch as she drops the mask, a rush of sadness surges through her timid appearance. She gives you a quick study and then averts her gaze. “I’m sorry. You just remind me of someone who... used to be important to me.” She mutters shyly, “I’m not usually this sentimental. It’s been years... I couldn’t possibly know what she looks like.. Maybe I’m just being...”

“It’s okay.” You cut her off soon as you heard the tiniest crack in her voice. “You don’t have to talk about it, Lyanna. I’ll just cover myself up. Haha, see?” You playfully tug at your hood some more and is quite pleased when the maiden chuckles softly.

“You’re very kind. I didn’t mean to be like this.. I should be the one apologizing. It must be due to the event being a special one for me.”

“How so?” you surprise yourself for wanting to know this person more. You would normally leave personal matters out of small talks especially if you don’t need to obtain such an information.

Yet here you are. Digging.

Lyanna showed signs of hesitation at first but eventually moved her lips. “I’ll tell you when we’re resting.” Ah! An aloof girl, this one. “How about you, Candle? You said you wanted me to take you to a priest?” she asked. “It’s nothing big. But I have this problem with restoration magic. Don’t laugh, alright?” Seeing the woman’s expression soften in amusement gives you a strange sense of nostalgia. “When I use restoration on myself, I become poisoned.”

The apprentice’s smile fell as did the blood from her face. “What did you say? Who did this to you?” her tone shifted in a much more accusatory tone. She must have already known your case is not self inflicted. Wow, she’s... conveniently sharp. “I-I don’t know..! Er.. It’s a bit of a complicated story. I was hoping one of your colleagues can take a look at it..”

“... Very well.” She sternly agreed, her lips forming a firm line. “I’ll find them immediately once we enter the city.”

Kaidan kept his distance in the back, observing those two keep each other company as they venture on the path towards Camlorn. The man felt wrong waiting for things to just happen when there’s clearly something at work here. He’d considered asking the others what they got out from the breton lady but decided against it the moment he and Lucien met eyes. Call him whatever alright, he’s not gonna bother with someone who belittles him for his upbringing when they can’t even properly look out for themselves.

He travelled long enough with these people, _with her_. Aiding in that entity’s banishment can suffice for a final act. After that, who knows. If she’ll help him search for clues to the marks on his sword then he’ll gladly have that. And should she grant him leave, he won’t have a heavy heart when they part ways. He’d fulfilled his word by then so it’ll be fine, right?

_“I’m really glad you’re still here...”_

It’s not like he’s cutting ties, why the hell is he feeling guilty? They can remain in contact. Exchange letters like the stuff she did with Nadina.

_The two of them... doing what she and Nadina..._

Where in bloody oblivion is his mind taking him?? _‘Fucking bloody distractions everywhere.’_ he cursed to the winds. This is bad. That thing is getting more active while he’s here devolving into a scatter brain. No. He can do this. He can be of help, just really have to extend that patience. Though he’ll have to admit, that patience is wearing thin and it's starting to annoy him how the lady’s paying more attention to someone she hasn’t even known for a day than heed his words of caution.

* * *

She had run out of breath, lungs burning from running for what seemed like an eternity in this never ending forest, and her legs are about to give in. How could this be? Their camp was secured. It had been for a long time! The only way for their sanctuary to be found... No way. Who would betray them? After all these years of running away together, fending off their pursuers at every turn.. Why would one of them do this and who? No.. No. What’s the use of contemplating about it—everyone’s dead.

The girl limped, her fatigued body becoming more and more of a burden. She tripped upon stepping on the hem of her robes, and once turned aside, cursed out so loud it scared off the forest animals. Dirt and blood covered the youth’s being but that’s not why she’s all curled up on the ground while her tears won’t stop pouring out. Those damned cultist came from nowhere, slaughtering them like cattle and sparing none... _Not even_ _the young lady_. The girl wailed even more. She was a friend, a family, the one she had promised to protect. Digging her blistered fingers into the soil, she bitterly cried to herself, full of loathing and regret;

“... Why did I ever ran?”

...

The young apprentice snaps out of her idle thoughts as she heard Candle call her. _‘What was I doing thinking about that just now..._’ she lamented before attending to the lady. They could already see the city and the trees are getting thicker as well as some farmlands started coming into view.

She watched the person named Candle nonstop ever since they met last night, unable to tear away her gaze and wanting to take in every detail of her appearance. What are the chances that this is the person she thinks they are in spite of the differences in memory? Is she losing her mind now? She watched her lady die. Having barely escaped the massacre of their people with her head still intact, Lyanna went straight to aid her lady but was too late. Lyanna witnessed with her own eyes as the witch loosed a foul magic at the young lass; a mass of green wisp consuming her and lifting her above ground as it squeezes out her life force. The onlooker’s bones had been poisoned with fear, feet only taking her away from the person she vowed to protect despite her internal protests.

A coward she had become.

She had lived the next years serving the Divines, praying for a chance to redeem herself or atone for her sins. Now that she meets a person bearing such a strong resemblance to the young lass? Lyanna is just as lost as she was on that day. It must be wishful thinking. It has to be. But the better part of her had already surrendered to it, wanting, yearning, desperately needing for confirmation.

So for now she’ll keep still. Candle’s brutish companion has been keeping watch and she can’t afford to raise his suspicions any more. Lyanna made up her mind to find the right time to bring it up—for pity’s sake, the rational side of her wishes to have her own aimless delusions shut down and be over with it. But if her gut instinct turns out right after all?

May Stendarr have mercy on her foolish soul. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats on gaining a nickname! (Lucien sings a little tune about it in game so I picked it 🤧)  
It didn't felt right rushing the story with the new character so I had to cut it hehe. I felt pretty blank this week, both shocked and stressed, but writing really clears my head. If you're reading this far, I'm glad you're with us on this ride. ＼(*T▽T*)／
> 
> (Be with the stars now, Qinni. We love you. Always.)


	33. Rekindle II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lost woman's prayer had been answered, but that's where the trial only begins.

**032**

**Rekindle II**

  
Passing Camlorn’s fortified walls and tighter security was a troublesome, long and boring tale not worth telling or even remembering. But arriving in the city itself was an experience worthy of songs. First foot inside the main street and it was an all out competition for the title ‘biggest-jaw-drop’. From the cobblestone paths you are standing on at this very moment to the tiny ornaments and beads that sparkled under the sunlight up to the tapestries adorning each establishments and market stalls, the city of Camlorn is decorated down to every inch in an exceedingly lavish way.

Not only that, people are easily recognizable here. The nobles looked like walking pastries and rolls of carpet, fattened by the plethora of coverings their vibrant suits have. On the side, adventurers like you look like, well... _adventurers_.

“Bloody stuck ups.” Kaidan muttered after spotting a group of nobles steer clear of your group when you walked by. You can’t hold his sour temper against him. The city watch uses a unique method to check their visitor’s motives. Unless you’ve got the required papers and personal invitation for the viewing of the festival like most of these wealthy people, the common folk goes through this process where they expose them to some fragrant gas, making them more ‘cooperative’ in telling the truth once asked.

Kaidan and some others didn’t appreciate the way things were done but on the bright side, Lyanna wearing a uniform and registering you all as her guests granted your group faster access and fewer questions. Like mentioned earlier, a troublesome and boring experience. You nearly spent an hour just standing in line, and that was supposed to be considered fast already.

The group agreed to split for a while, Auri taking the mounts and Inigo to find a less crowded place to rest in, promising to locate everyone with the antique map they have. Rumarin and Lucien didn’t think twice about following the main street, hopping straight into the grand boulevard without another word. Here’s hoping Lucien won’t lose Rumarin or that Dwemer device he gave Candle. Ugh. Kaidan still hadn’t gotten used to that name.

_‘Of all the people, we really just had to get stuck with this damn woman.’_

Kaidan internally grumbles, sending a fleeting glance to Lyanna who’s definitely having the same thoughts with the way her cold glare’s digging a hole at his being. “Got a problem?” he isn’t one for brashness but neither is he gonna roll over from an attempt at intimidation. Lyanna remained unfazed and he commends her talent to keep a poker face as she simply headed over to the lady like he didn’t exist.

Aye, she better behave herself. This hunter won’t let her have her way with his companion.

Every street’s piling up with lively music and street performers, paired with the delicious scent of freshly baked loaves permeating the air that just had his animal of a companion drooling for the past hour. Kaidan had reminded her of their portion of gold and that she should finish eating the current pastries first before sticking her eyes on another one. “Here. Just take mine. By Shor, you’ll run us out of money.” He sighed, wrapping her hands over his food when all she could manage to do was turn her eyes into saucers after he makes the offer.

“Candle,” Lyanna called softly upon her return. She held two baked goods, one which she gladly gifts the lady and one she consumed. “I believe you’ll find it to your liking. It’s coated with caramel.” She said before taking a bite.

His companion squeals in delight upon taking her own fill. A flicker of surprise crossed his face, entering a brief state of disbelief as he didn’t expect her to make such a... _feminine_ noise, much less make his heart leap with it.

“I do! Oh, I do.. There’s rarely any caramel glazed sweets in Skyrim. It’s amazing, how did you know?”

Kaidan didn’t.

“Just picked it on the spot. I’m glad I hit it right at first try.” Lyanna herself appeared pleased at the reaction she gained. If he wasn’t picking up fast, he would have surely missed the slight irk in the apprentice’s eyes when it landed on him for a split second. Obviously, Kaidan wouldn’t get an act of generosity from this person. He’s just thankful the lady’s too engulfed in this ocean of shallow entertainment to even notice the storm brewing between him and the priestess-to-be. Tss. Right. So much of that charitable spirit coming from this one. If staring manifested into blades, he’d already be in a clash against Lyanna.

This antagonistic behavior carried out throughout the whole day. From consulting her fellow healers—who _all failed_ to provide them solutions, if he may add, to dropping by different stalls. Even after Auri and Inigo had joined them, Lyanna passionately ignored him and his existence. One benefit her actions did though, is to present him the perfect excuse to stay unbothered in the back, which he used to keep his eyes on Candle at all times. He could care less who ran off or went back in their group, he’s got his sights fixated on his employer alone.

And in doing so, lost track of time.

It’s nearly dusk when they got on the empty back alleys to kick their feet up. His companion hummed an elated tune, swinging her dangling legs rhythmically from the stacks of crates she’s seated on, admiring the hair ornament Lyanna bought her. The breton also got Candle a new red hood to go with the festival theme, a handcrafted ring, and an exquisite bracelet made by the finest artisans from Eagle’s Brook—hell, why don’t she just also get her a carriage and a new mansion while she’s at it. They could all use it.

All sarcasms aside, these acts of kindness from someone she just met is alarming. Why would she so willingly shower Candle with luxury when they barely know each other? The fact that his companion accepted every gift with a stupid smile plastered on her face is even more of an eyebrow raiser. Lyanna’s ridiculously well funded for a temple attendant. He knew this city is spilling over with rich people but not even the staffs he saw back at the humble temple of Stendarr flaunted a set of sturdy gear this one has.

For a long period of comfortable silence, they recharged their strengths. No talking, no unnecessary goofing around, like they struck a silent agreement. “There’s an upcoming mini performance in the other street if you want to watch. Common folks like to show off their own talents as a countdown for the 20th.” Lyanna finally spoke up with another invitation. “They’re only conducted by street volunteers so don’t expect something grand. Still, it’s quite a show.” She said.

“Splendid! I’m all ready!” Lucien cheered in agreement, muttering something about taking a stamina potion with him should he exhaust himself from running all around the place in hopes of catching as many shows there is. Inigo and Rumarin had excused themselves to find an outhouse. Guess they’ll have to find them with the map afterwards.

* * *

Lanterns and posts transformed the city into an evening paradise after they were lit. It didn’t even looked like night time had befallen the city with how bright everything is. Complimenting shades of red, golds, yellow and orange silks worn by attendees and adorned the stage sparkles as it reflects the light all around. Merriment and joyous cheering puts you in a festive mood, skipping your way along the crowd and exchanging enthusiastic smiles with fellow adventurers you come across with._ ‘The nobles here seem friendly to outsiders. I suppose those stuck ups Nadina was talking about are already in the main boulevard.’_ You speculated after having observed the audience lacked certain snobby onlookers.

Across somewhere not far, you could hear patrols sending words of caution at the people before marching away from the crowd to resume their activities. It wasn’t hard to get a good view. The street performers were mindful enough to set a stage for the show and the audience were cooperative in providing them the necessary room required.

“I think right here is good.” Auri suggested, “We might miss the big picture if we push for the frontlines.” Everyone agreeing in silence, the group walked in line until they reach a pretty decent spot near a walls of the city as the show started. Magic is thick within the air but you faired just fine. It always felt soothing whenever huge amounts of magic actively flowed around. To some, it’s humid, others find it heavy and uncomfortable, it varies from person to person. But to you, the familiar scent of magic is a welcomed one, making you feel right at home. You relished the trace of power that coursed through your nerves whenever you breathe it in. You may be unable to wield it, execute it properly now, but it doesn’t mean you lost the ability to sense it.

You see Lyanna whispering something to Lucien and he exclaims in excitement, eyes bright with astonishment. He spends no time hanging around, bidding you a quick wave as he squeezes himself past the crowd. “Wait-, oh dear. I think he dropped this.” Lyanna crouched, picking up Lucien’s resonant sphere. Dropped? Lucien pinned it inside his bandolier. You know because you helped him with it.

You weren’t fully paying attention but you’re quite sure the breton lady was about to give it to Kaidan when Auri snatched it from her hand. “I got him. Give it a tap if you move out alright?” she winks and disappears in the sea of clamouring people. The reserved girl remained indifferent but you could make out a hint of annoyance with the way she regarded her now empty palm. Not only is this Lyanna actively ignoring Kaidan, she’s also relentlessly trying to lose him. Such persistence.

It can’t be helped then.

“Kaidan, would you awfully mind picking up some refreshments from that stall we passed by?”

Red eyes pierced yours with intense declination. He distanced you from the stone faced apprentice and tried to reason, “That’s obviously what she wants. For you two to be alone.” He whispered. “So find us quick when you get back.” You gently pressed your map on his hands, a knowing look on your face. This may be reckless but this has to be done sooner or later anyway. And you trust to find the swordsman when you need it. He firmly held onto your hand until he exhaled through his nose, releasing all his protest with it. “Be safe.” He complied, leaving a twinge of unease in your gut as the warmth you shared together quickly fades from his departure.

“Is everything alright, Candle?” Lyanna called gently. What’s the matter with this woman? Her actions are as suspicious as Kaidan had warned you about but her attitude towards you speaks otherwise. Or is she that clever of a pretender?

“Lyanna..”

Meeting the timid lady’s tender expression hits you with that nostalgia again. It feels like looking at someone from a past life.

“What’s your game?”

She didn’t flinch at you being upfront. Instead, disappointment stained her feature, not from being found out, but it was as if she was expecting more from your reaction. Sighing, she tried to put up an apologetic smile.

“I only wish to talk to you alone... That’s all.”

“My friend, I am no child. I... like your company very much even though we only just met.” You took a step towards her. “Every single food you’ve bought me today are to my exact liking. This silk, my accessories, even the choice of color and design nails my top preferences. And you know what...? I never heard you ask me a single question about my tastes.” You said, leaning your side to the wall as you watch Lyanna’s face become increasingly sad with the words that came out of your mouth. “Lyanna I don’t feel any ill intent coming from you.. So will you just tell me who you really are?”

The woman took in a shaky breath, corners of her eyes glistening from beneath her chocolate strands and she swallowed. Hard. It took Lyanna ten seconds to find her words. It only took five to feel the pressing tension between your silence.

“I... Would like to tell you why tomorrow is special for me. If you don’t mind.”

After stepping out of the crowd and into a quieter zone in the back of some building, Lyanna didn’t let you wait another moment and went right into it. “I come from a family that are sworn to protect another. This girl I mentioned... I serve her family. We were brought up in the same household and we briefly studied in the same school. She was a sister to me and my sibling...” her lips trembled into a faint smile, eyes travelling up to the darkened sky. “She’s phenomenally talented in many ways. Protective, curious, intelligent, and a fun loving person.”

“She sounds delightful. Where is she now?”

Lyanna jerks her head towards you, utterly floored by your query. _‘How come I feel so concerned about her reactions?’_ Countless of emotions were running wild in her pained feature and a part of you breaks from seeing her this way. You see her clenching her jaw, not in contempt but to keep herself from falling apart in front of you.

“My lady... She likes sweets but mostly caramel. She always loved treats that came with the Fire Festival. Handcrafted accessories always catches her eyes, she likes the details put into it by the neighbouring town. And she has a penchant for buying items in shades of red...” She says, sliding her hand on the rim of the expensive silk she bought you and in a wary voice asks, “Do you really not remember any of this?” it almost sounded desperate and yet so tame, so lost.

Despite the plea in her eyes, your body takes a step back, “What are you implying? Alright, we fancy the same things—surely, that must have just been by chance?” Because it has to. You don’t understand. She shows up and it feels like meeting an age old friend, yet her name doesn’t ring a bell at all. Even when she kept putting off Kaidan, you couldn’t sense a hint of malice from this person.

You can’t understand why she fills your chest with nothing but lightness and content. How her presence feels like a distant memory of happier times.

_You don’t understand why seeing her cry hurts._

“I... I thought you’d say that.” Her trembling figure bowed in a failing effort to hide away her face. It was only that she held your hand when you realized that you’d unconsciously wiped away her tears. “I beg for your forgiveness for being so persistent... Just-.. Just tell me this so I can put these fantasies of mine to a stop. Your inability to heal yourself, is it because of the witch?”

“The witch? How did you know of the witch? Who told you?” too fast, too hasty, the words have already escaped your mouth. “None!” she exclaimed, eyes widening. With fear? No, perhaps with rekindled hope. And she cups your face, “Stendarr’s mercy, I knew it! It’s you. It’s you! I never should have doubted!” she cries in relief, conveniently tossing away all plans of holding back and allowing herself to unravel before the very person she exalts.

“Lyanna.. I...”

“That is _not_ my name! Please... I beg of you..” you could tell how much she’s restraining to just throw herself in your arms as she rests her hands on your shoulder, “I know very well how horrifying things were in the past. Every so often I still get nightmares about it. But please _my lady_, don’t block us out of your memory.. I know you still recognize me! The house chef, your father’s steward, the twins, that snarky argonian who became our friend, my parents...” her breathless voice shook with every sob as she gazed upon you with the eyes of someone seeing salvation as they drown. “At least tell me you remember my brother...” the apprentice whimpered, anxiously gripping on your sleeves.

“_Marco_..” the name slipped past your lips without you being aware of it and she bursts into tearful smiles.

“Yes-, him! You two were always so close...!”

An invisible seal rips open and the pieces began arranging themselves in place. You froze. Rooted still even when she called your name. Your _real_ name. “He’s always the kind one...” You huffed out, heat creeping up as tears prickled your eyes. Without a thought, you grabbed the person in your arms like she’s going to disappear if you let go. Clinging to each other so tight, uncaring of any inconvenience or bruises your armors might cause the other. She’s alive, by the Gods she escaped! For so long, too long you wandered aimlessly in a pit of hopelessness, never grasping why you’re the only one left. Nothing’s going to steal you away from this moment! Finally, finally reaching to your oldest memory of her, all highs and lows of it, and to the last—

_“You will never be able to go back.”_

“Get away from me!”

Lyanna was suddenly thrown off the wall, all lingering sentiment shaken off and replaced by startled confusion. She didn’t have time to question what happened or take offense when she saw her lady writhing on the ground, feet kicking and fingers digging in her face. Screaming like she’s being ripped apart, she growled at the stunned apprentice to keep away from her as she thrashed violently, but Lyanna soon felt the shift in the atmosphere and whom it’s coming from. A presence she knew well no matter how much her heart would like to believe otherwise.

_ ‘Hang on... This doesn’t feel right..’_ Sword hand instinctively reaching for the blade under her yellow cloak, Lyanna muttered something while holding onto her medallion. Bright particles swirled into a ball of charged magicka and with one fell swoop, she released a wave of holy light onto the woman.

The lady easily rolled like an empty basket from the impact, howling an otherworldly noise that was immediately drowned by the ongoing pyrotechnics. She twitches, staggering as she gets up with her palms flickering and fizzling to force out a fire spell.

_“You bitch! This vessel is mine!”_

Just as she thought. Only impure beings can take damage from that branding spell. But how in oblivion did a daedra get into her? Lyanna gasps softly as it dawned to her how her misplaced suspicion allowed the abhorrent creature to hide itself effectively until now. But it must’ve been her mistress’ doing—she broke free of its control and that pushed the daedra to reveal itself.

“It seems my transgressions against you only grows...” She mourns to herself, unsheathing the weapon. “... Pardon my actions, my lady.” She utters coolly before charging at the possessed woman without hesitation.

Unexpectedly, it wasn’t the weakened foe’s figure she struck but a rather unique steel, with foreign markings running down its blade.

“_Bastard—!_ I knew you were up to something!” Kaidan growled, stopping Lyanna’s sword with his own. It was a last minute parry and the balance was quite off so he only managed to stop its motion instead of fully countering this bitch. Lyanna was quick to draw back, yelling something he couldn’t give a shit about—

_“I’ll drag you to Oblivion first..!”_

He turns to that guttural voice only to see a gout of fire aimed at him but Kaidan dodges with inhuman speed. Whatever kicked in to allow him such fast reflexes were quickly forgotten, he was just thankful it failed to reach him.

“What the bloody hell is wrong with you!?” He roared at his companion but gained no response. Instead he was met with a pair of terror stricken eyes glaring at him from behind the lady’s hands. Her movements were heavy and strained like she doesn’t want to tear her hands away from her face—and she shrieked at them, telling them not to get close, but there was also something amiss with her voice. It’s definitely not the festival distorting his hearing.

By Ysmir. No... She’s been taken over.

* * *

The ship fell into peaceful silence as midnight struck. Kaidan had just finished taking a trip to the privy and strode past the common room when he spots her hunched over on the couch. Poor thing must’ve woken up from another nightmare. Having not seen her best friend around, the swordsman hesitated at first whether to approach her or not, thinking his companion might want a little time alone.

_‘She’s all smiles whenever we are around. That alone has got to be exhausting.’_

Though at times, Kaidan knew she’s faking it, he never found it in him to call her out. He would of course listen if she needed someone to talk with, but he didn’t want to make her feel like he’s forcing his companionship with her if he was going to offer it. _‘What am I thinking. That was months ago.’_ Shaking off his doubts, he took his chances. What are the odds of him regretting it, right?

“S’cuse me—you want me to do what?” he chided, aghast by her request.

She shot him another glare even though there wasn’t much fight into it. “It’s not like I want that to happen. But put the other’s safety over mine.” She sniffles. The woman had stopped crying long before he approached her but the evidence it left was still fresh in her puffy eyes and hoarse voice. Trying to come up with something that would get her to break the silence, he was meaning to ask her why she looks like a salmon straight outta water when she beats him to it and tells him,

“Kill me. If whatever that thing is takes over and I couldn’t come back, kill me before I cause harm.”

Yeah, that’s what she said. Hell, as if he can just do that!? What about her, what happens to her? That’s easier said than done.

“Kaidan...” she whispers his name like a prayer, taking his hand despite not meeting his eyes. “I’ll be forever grateful... If you could stop me before I hurt other people. I won’t be a loss.”

His face fell at her words. “How can you just say that about yourself?”

She couldn’t give him an answer then. It only shocked him to the core why he’s reaching out to wrap a comforting arm around her. But she allowed it. She didn’t flinch at the contact like she used to, even resting her head on his shoulder once they got comfortable enough. He decided to drop his attempt to converse, instead just waited for her to fall asleep before he carried her to the only room he had access in, which was his and Inigo’s room. He’s used to getting comfy on the ship’s floorboards but when he wakes again on the wee hours before dawn to check on her, his bed was already empty. The only trace of her presence there was the blanket she’d laid atop him in his sleep.

It was Kaidan’s turn then to have trouble going back to rest, thinking of nothing else but the request she made.

* * *

“Stay where you are, swordsman. There’s a daedra controlling her. You don’t know what you’re dealing with!” Lyanna warns as she rushed to face his companion. He argued with her only to be chastised, telling him to open his eyes on the situation instead of acting by emotions. “I am equipped for this. You are not. Now stay behind!” Lyanna scolds as the possessed woman gains another charge of destructive spells. Candle groaned in extreme pain, and it might be wishful thinking, but he thinks his companion’s still there, fighting, failing, but still struggling to take back her control. The woman loses her voice, replaced by that sinister grumbling and in a matter of mere seconds, showers her wild magic at their direction.

Much to his surprise, Lyanna backs up and shields them with her cloak. The assault didn’t last. He expected much, given that the host herself is experiencing difficulties in weaving magic before they came here. ‘_That fuckin’ spawn of Oblivion’s going to break her if it keep forcing her body to do that.’_ It was what Lucien said once after explaining why it’s not that easy for him to expand his mana capacity in the old fashion ways of ‘pushing the limit’ and that’s why he had a strong assumption of Candle having an exceptional education in magical arts before she lost her memories. Can’t believe he’s only understanding that lanky guy’s words now of all times.

After the apprentice lowers her garment, the enchantments of her cloak has expired and is now gone. So is his companion.

“Where did she... Damn it. Let’s find her.” Lyanna made a low groan injected with worry. “You will come as well. I heard from the others you are here to protect her.” She eyed him with sternness and a voice as commanding as when he first heard it. “Honor the word you gave her and prove it.” She said and Kaidan watched speechless as she discarded the burnt cloak. His eyes particularly latching on a well known symbol imprinted on the back of her blue robes.

“You’re not truly an apprentice in the Temple, are you?” he called out.

Lyanna looks over her shoulder, blank eyes shadowed under the bright flames of the festival, and nods respectfully. “But I do serve the temple’s patron God. I’m a Vigilant of Stendarr. Come, the daedra’s marked. We should be able to track it down before it harms anyone.” She said as they made their way.

A Vigilant, eh? He should have known with the air of authority she held when she talked to the guardsmen at the city gate and how easy she got access to the temple’s services like she owned the place. The strange woman aplogized for her wariness around him, explaining that she initially approached them due to a sudden disturbance of magicka around them that time—all of which she concluded to be an evil energy’s doing.

“You thought I was the one carrying it?” Kaidan scoffed, considerably appalled by her silent accusation.

“Again, I’m sorry for pinning it on you without concrete evidence. It’s just that you tailed around her the whole time and I could tell you found my presence bothersome. Also you look... Unusual.” Lyanna huffed out the last word, saving her breath as much as she can.

“Unusual..?”

“Foreign. _Please_ not now.” Lyanna bites down. “I’ll answer your questions later.”

They passed around the back corners of the streets; thankfully it hasn’t decided to show up yet in a crowd. Regrettably, it’ll be also hard to confront it unless they can lure it in an open area. Confront, yeah that’s what they’ll do. But how do they defeat it? What if they can’t expel it out of her? Kaidan dreaded the thought as his companion’s words crawl in the back of his mind.

“Are you going to kill her?”

Lyanna spun on her heels in instinct and for the first time lets the swordsman see a flare of emotion consume her frosty demeanor.

“Kill her? Are you insane? How could you resort to such a method when you’ve sworn to protect my lady?”

“_Your_ lady?” It appears that Kaidan missed a lot of things while he was gone, huh? “Look. I won’t demand to be filled in since we’ve got better things to do. But what do you plan on doing if it comes down to it?” This isn’t as straightforward as the battles he excels in. No matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, he will most likely fail in heeding Candle’s plea.

“You’re a lot more pessimistic than I’d expected, swordsman. Make sure you do not rub off on her, my lady is easily influenced by people she trusts.” The vigilant remarked.

“I’m laying out a realistic scenario here.”

“This is where I have to disagree with you. There has to be another way.” Lyanna grimly stated, steely eyed as she firmly held onto the medallion. “Gods have given me the chance I’ve prayed for all these years. I’m not letting that abomination snatch it away from me. I certainly won’t run away again.” Remorse dominated her tone and it didn’t went unnoticed by the puzzled swordsman, wondering what she meant by saying ‘again’.

Kaidan stops on his tracks the moment he saw Lyanna raised her weapon in defense. “The medallion’s responding strongly here.” He didn’t needed to be instructed step by step so he readies his nodachi, awaiting any signs of ambush in the narrow alley they’ve arrive at. Something sparked from the shadows of the balcony and,

“There!” Lyanna howled, warding off the spell Candle loosed upon them. “I have a banishing scroll with me. Quick, we must pin her down!” she commanded. Just doing what he knows best, Kaidan hurried to find something to get the woman off the roofs but is hindered by his equipment. Both of them had their hands full with scouting the end of the passage when they suddenly heard an enraged cry accompanied with a series of profanities. Candle falls off the roof and crashes straight on a pile of crates and wooden barrels!

“Well, well...” Another woman bearing a familiar armor and voice walks over the edge and peeks down on them. “I knew I was hearin’ somethin’ else ‘side those flashy explosives in the streets.” Nadina smirked upon sighting her handiwork and whistled, “She crashed pretty good. Maybe I put in a little too much on that kick. Ha-ha!”

The redguard easily found the right levels to hop down on, thanks to convenient breton architecture and to her minimal gear or lack thereof.

“Dunno why she’s actin’ feral but I like it. Brings me back to our behind-the-door sessions.” She teased as she pulled out a twin scimitar, laughing off the condescending remarks she earned from the two. “Possessed, huh? Sounds boring. But otherworldly beings should be one helluva fight!” the eagerness to lend them a hand is much appreciated, albeit raising a little concern.

His companion found the strength to limp away while they were wasting time on rambling. As they gave chase, Kaidan felt his heart burst outta him when Lucien appeared at the end of the alleyway and the possessed Candle unhesitatingly swings her dagger at the imperial.

A purplish glow fizzles into existence and parries away her dagger! Everyone briefly stops as they witness Rumarin shoving the woman away from Lucien who immediately detects them.

“Kaidan..? _Kaidan__!_” He hollered, only to be tackled away by the high elf. Candle’s body is only breaths away from breaking and the daedra cloaks her, finally deciding to show its demonic self in a form of dark wisps of smoke masking the entirety of her face. The creature temporarily grants its host renewed energy, as Lyanna explained, pointing out that the fiery magic it currently emits are coming from the daedra’s power itself instead of their companion. Murky shades of fire and electricity formed around the snarling creature and as it unleashes a shrill laugh, one leather boot smacks it across the face.

“What?” Nadina shrugs at them. “Gotta work with what I got.”

Lyanna frowned a bit but made haste, “Activate it while I’m distracting the daedra. It won’t hurt the living.” She instructed, shoving the scroll on Kaidan. “We’re counting on ya. I’ll take care of ‘em while I retrieve my boot.” Nadina winks, following the vigilant into battle. The swordsman spiralled into a bit of panic upon seeing all the scribbles in the parchment. Scrolls do not need magic to be used. They need to be read without a hitch if they don’t want it blowing up on their faces. They need someone literate and confident about their pronunciation—something Kaidan isn’t.

It took a moment or two before the swordsman fully perceives Lucien’s words. “Kaidan please, give me the scroll. I can read!” the scholar tells him almost demandingly. Patience and politeness are easily discarded in a situation like this. Lucien accepts the fleeting hesitation in the swordsman’s eyes but they _really_ need to set their previous dispute aside right now. Rumarin and Kaidan both scurry behind Lucien as he operates the scroll with his best efforts. A dazzling wave of light burns the parchment and slices through the narrow space and straight to their companion.

They swore they never heard a more disturbing scream.

The evil being lost its grip on Candle, tendril-like parts whipping and tearing asunder from the spell’s effect until it got reduced into a meagre ball of smoke bouncing away on the ground. It quickly grew in size, taking the exact silhouette of its previous host, screaming at them in a language none of them speaks. It didn’t dally on and instantly pours a stream of blazing fire at them.

_ ‘Shit, no place to hide! We’re all gonna get get hit!’_

Kaidan inhales sharply as heat engulfs everything around him. It’s hot. Yet the anticipated burning sensation didn’t visit him. Surely, he didn’t built an immunity against it nor is he wearing any anti-magic enchantments.

Everyone opened their eyes when it wasn’t blinding anymore and found themselves gaping at the woman before them. His employer stood at the very front, arms crossed to shield her face with the weakest glow of ward flickering on her burnt hands. Large portions of her clothing had been visibly damaged, having tanked all of the spell’s impact with just a half baked magical ward. But what caught his unbelieving eye is the ethereal illumination steadily trailing on her, dotting her skin with innumerable hues of tiny scale-like figures. Kaidan could only stare in utter shock for there was no other explanation for it.

_ “Dragonskin.”_

* * *

_ **LATE BONUS SORRY! ** _ _(couldn't upload to tumblr earlier XD) Again, full size pics are always in my blog mwahaha (kittyplaysandcries.tumblr) no need to feel like you have to follow if you only drop by to view the pics! _ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

*MC = Main Character / LDB = Last Dragonborn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Get ready for a fight, my friend." — Inigo the Brave
> 
> Thank you tons and tons and tons for the hits and bumps I keep getting (´Д`)y it really keeps me motivated to work hard! I love you all Archive members and I love all the ghost/anonymous readers, too! I hope I'm keeping you entertained. о(ж>▽<)ｙ💖


	34. Rekindle III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With every answer, new questions would branch out. Will you ever really catch up?

**033**

**Rekindle III**

Embers and faint smoke left her skin where the spell hit the most. Kaidan knew anyone would get their flesh melted off with that intensity but there’s his companion, barely standing and mildly roasted. The vigilant of Stendarr cried out a name unknown to them. Stirring herself right up, Lyanna’s hands were already glimmering with a healing spell when their companion gestures her to stop.

“But my lady you’re badly hurt!” She protested.

“_MARIE_.”

The woman beckons the name with absolute command and the vigilant they knew as Lyanna stiffens, immediately falling on one knee with her head cast down and the weapon set aside. “Give me any replenishments. Keep that thing occupied.” She instructed Lya—Marie-, honestly, Kaidan couldn’t follow anymore with the aliases and names. All he’s aware of is that his companion is back, albeit carrying a different, grimmer air around her this time.

“I’ve a banishment scroll with me but I don’t know how strong that daedra is.”

“I do. I’ll take that scroll.”

“As you wish, lady Rozenn.”

Rozenn? Who, that companion of theirs? The rest could only gawk in silence as the two pass on information with ease, cooking up a plan of attack in less than half a minute. Kaidan’s eyes followed closely as his employer reaches out to take Marie’s potions, not missing the small nod she gave Nadina who in turn accompanies the vigilant in a straight charge against the daedra.

Obviously, the men had to follow suit despite being equally frustrated with the lack of context. “Whatever in Oblivion is happening you better explain later, woman.” Grumbles the high elf, swiftly letting loose an arrow that hits the creature in the arm. Rumarin exclaims triumphantly but is quickly let down when the daedra snaps it like it didn’t made any impact at all.

“Alright, I’m useless here. Good luck.” He shrugs and, having been incapable of sending the daedra back to Oblivion, sends his conjured bow back instead. In spite of being at loss in such a situation, Kaidan could only make a disgruntled noise—he can’t just stand here. He doesn’t see the redguard carrying any of that magic stuff in the ongoing fight; he might actually contribute something. The red eyed swordsman made his way to the enemy, leaving Lucien and the altmer to care for their companion.

Rumarin took the initiative to step in front of Lucien, cautious of the possibility of her spooking the two of them again like earlier,

“_Ahem_.. So.. It’s _Rozenn_ now. Could we call you by name then?” he asked. Their companion takes the lid off a healing potion, conveniently delaying an answer as she shakily consumes the substance. Rumarin grimaces at the sight of her singed and blistered skin under the torn clothing but is well astounded by her tenacity. She takes one look at them and proceeds with her next fill.

“No.”

Oh, okay. She’s deciding to be petty now of all times, really?

“Keep calling me however you’d like. Just not that one.” There was a shade of gloom in her tone.

_Oh_... Okay..? Not being petty after all.

She finally turns around, burn marks healing and fading at a miraculous speed as her body restores the cells with the help of the potion. _It’s not really the most curious sight to see._ They watched her toss away all gears with irreversible damage, uncaring for how much loss her attire had suffered and glanced at them once more.

“I’m sorry you have to learn about my name this way, Lucien.”

Lucien seemed to have eased up upon hearing her voice soften. “N-not a problem at all..! I suppose I’ll be sticking with Candle, then?” he says, lips curled up in an awkward smile. Candle nodded and warned them to stay away if they don’t plan on fighting. Seeing as those three over there are making no progress, Rumarin couldn’t help but question her planned course of action.

“That daedra is just the second enemy.” She states, waving the roll of paper that Marie fellow had surrendered earlier and stuffing it inside her corset. “Standard banishing scroll, but the one that possessed me was already powerful to begin with... _Tch_. It was my mistake to ignore its existence inside me. It only gained more power throughout the years.” Candle glowers, eyes cast down.

“Uh-huh...... You do know that only doubles our questions, right?” Murmured the high elf while knitting his brows. Kaidan angrily bellowing for help tears the woman away from the their company. Here’s hoping they can do something about that party crasher.

* * *

Kaidan nearly fell in face first when the insidious creature sends him reeling back. Again. Even that loud mouthed redguard is already growing quiet from the blows, saving her breath for combat instead of yammering useless taunts. The vigilant isn’t showing signs of exhaustion yet—he should know, fighting off these abominations is pretty much what’s expected of people in her field. Slamming his fists on the ground, the man picks up his weapon and gives it another try.

“_ARGH—!_”

That’s the fifth time he got swatted like an insect. Just how strong is this devil? “Damn..” Yet despite their disadvantage he finds himself coughing out a chuckle after landing on his back.

“I know right? _Krggh_—that stings...” chimes in Nadina who’s got her arse handed to her a second earlier and is knocked over beside him.

Kaidan wipes off the smidge of blood from his cheek, irritation and adrenaline swirling, mixing, igniting something inside him he’d never expected to find in this ordeal—_He’s actually enjoying this_. Breaking bandits, turning over wanted criminals, claiming bounties, just doing what’s right in general, aye. Those gave him a sense of redemption, but all of those accomplishments were short lived and required nothing of him aside from having the stronger, faster sword arm. It’s been bloody ages since he’d participated in a battle that actually put his knowledge to test. With every attempt, they’d get pushed back like crumpled papers but every time, he gets a chance to rethink his next approach. Alas, that demon’s defence is way ahead of his current stamina. The final hit had both of them lying on their asses again.

Something cold brushes up his face and the startled man almost elbows the person until he sees Candle kneeling over his battered figure.

“About to take a nap or you hurt?” She asks, leaning closer to inspect him. So it was her fingers which are ice cold.... and are softly brushing the side of his face as they speak. Before he could ask, tiny specks of magicka glittered in the dark, indicating his companion’s usage of it. He had no need to inquire to know she’s pouring out healing energies when her freezing touch slowly warmed up and erases the stinging all over his body. Just for those few seconds they locked gazes, and he couldn’t fight the disappointment pulling inside his chest when she didn’t even graced him the faintest hint of smile. It’s as if someone thrown out all their joy out the window.

Why the bloody hell is he anticipating to see her smile is the real mystery here.

Nadina clears her throat, “Y’all both done...? I’m dying, too. Might wanna drizzle me some of that loving.” She wheezed dryly then groaned. Apparently, laughing doesn’t actually help in certain situations, especially those in which it only amplifies the physical pain as the redguard here graciously demonstrates.

“Save your energies for later. I can’t spare any more replenisher so either stay back or keep up with Marie. If you noticed already, she’s taking a defensive stance as per my request. We must stall out some time.” She explains, Nadina thoughtlessly agreeing with her face buried in Candle’s hand. “Nadina, sweet, are you actually listening? I’m going to send _lord_ Halahm a word of his daughter’s dangerous pursuits.” The redguard jolts up with an utterly displeased face. “I was starting to like the new you better then this comes back. Think you can use _my parents_ to threaten me?”

“No, but I got you listening now. That thing’s a bait. We’re about to get swarmed and we really could use some good carving. Are you in?” his companion states, plain and simple. It’s not like knowing who and why they have to fight is an important thing, no? This situation grows equally more confusing and dangerous at every turn.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Carving, hacking... You know I’m the woman for it!” Nadina grins, springing up to her heels in high spirits.

“Nadina..”

“Yea?”

“Sorry for leaving you without a proper goodbye back then.”

What Candle lacked in emotion, the redguard surely made up with her sudden blushing, uncharacteristically stammering out a reply but ended up grumbling her way out of the conversation instead as she stomped away.

The woman looks back at Kaidan and wordlessly helps him get up in a sitting position. There’s that awkward silence again. He couldn’t read her. The woman still feels the same person, just... more matured. Is she pissed off? She definitely has the same vibe back when she was confronted by Mercer Frey. But she’s also regarding him with so much care, wiping the dirt off his face—

“Oi. I’m fine.” Unconsciously, he grabs her hand. _Bloody idiot._ Why did it have to sound so agitated? But she stays impassive, nodding respectfully and giving him what’s left of the stamina potion. “I can only heal flesh wounds and minor stabs at best. Fractures, dislocation and haemorrhages will take time and more magicka which I both do not have right now.” Says the woman and it hits him.

For so long, he has never really seen her healing capabilities in action aside from that battle at Fort Greenwall. The very reason why she could keep everyone supported that time was due to her throwing in healing spells while the damages are still minor. Adding her role in cutting down any foe before they can deal massive blows allowed her to keep the casualties to a minimum and everyone maintain the defensive measure she’d set up for them. Huh, and here he thought most mages only know mindless destruction.

“Kaidan, just take it.” The woman ushering him to consume the potion snaps him out of it. Getting catapulted multiple times in a row might considerably make someone distracted, but he couldn’t care less. He just wanted time to stop so they can talk.

“Seems like complications keep followin’ you around, y’know?”

It was spoken in light jest but very, very briefly, her eyes did widen at his remark. And it was in that split moment of vulnerability that he caught a glimpse of hurt inside those tender eyes. Hurt that was not caused by his words but old wounds his query unearthed by accident.

“My bad..! I didn’t mean to—”

“_Haha_—”, the woman kneeling in front of him lowered her face on both palms, chuckling wryly. Kaidan frowned in confusion, hastily casting it elsewhere once she was done so she won’t catch his stupid expression.

“Yeah, I guess it does. Just about every damn thing in my life... Even my feelings for you right now are complicated.” She begrudgingly admits.

Her words nearly caused him a stiffed neck and he cursed himself to oblivion for not giving her his full attention. There’s no way he’ll get to hear that another time when she’s already running towards the commotion! He could only gape like the idiot he is, unsure how to react at such a confession.

The bloody hell was that supposed to mean anyway??

* * *

Marie and the daedra were stuck on equal footing, exchanging blows and counters like playing a simple game of catch with neither one yet to outmatch the other. But the vigilant is only a human mortal. One tiny slip will be the deciding factor of their impasse.

**“You dare banish me, mortal fool? You’re going to need more than that feeble spell!”**

It lashes out, shadowy arms morphing into razor sharp claws that furiously aimed for vigilant’s legs. Marie focuses on controlling her balance, evading and mentally preparing herself to cast a defensive spell. The redguard fearlessly going in was very much appreciated. Together, they managed to put up a fight until the daedra hauls itself at Nadina, breaking their formation. A short blade cuts through the air and swiftly blocks the demon’s attack and Marie felt a bit of relief upon seeing her lady back in shape, and also being able to fight for her again.

** “Hmph.. Siding with these wretches? They did nothing for you! It was I who gave you power! A power you used so willingly for your whims...”**

The daedra taunted in its monstrous growl fit for a spawn of Oblivion.

“Enough of that. I’ve sealed you away, how are you out here?”

**“Don’t act so naive, my dear. Did you really think I’ll remain dormant inside you forever? You know very well who else had their hands on my late master’s spells.”**

  
  
Marie’s heart sank at what she heard—old fears sprouting and coiling around her neck as she caught glimpses of their exchange. After all these years, she’s still unable to get past all the tragedies those cultists put them through, and doubts that she will ever be. Relatives butchered, friends meeting slow, agonizing ends, and she was there to helplessly watch it all. The vigilant had no choice but to help Nadina get to safety as the two engaged in a battle of speed.

No matter how much Marie would like to, she would only hold back her lady for she couldn’t possibly hope to match that agility of hers. _‘My father taught her well.’_ There was a spark of joy that fluttered in when she recalled how the three of them would spar on a daily basis at the back of their mansion. Lady Rozenn mastered her acrobatics far before she did her magical talents, applying her amazing reflexes into perfect use when she picked up the blade. As the years went by, she only grew more and more masterful, and even when she started taking after her parents, she kept training her ways of combat. If only.. If only they were prepared that night... They definitely wouldn’t have lost everyone—

_NO_. She’s not gonna be having these thoughts now.

Observing from a safe distance, her mistress’ words proved to be true. The daedra is indeed holding back as well, saving its magic and holding down this spot. Smart son of a bitch. _‘Can we really hold out? The stamina potion can only last as much. If those bastards do not arrive we’ll have to make a run for it.’_ This part of the city is one of the perfect spots if it wanted to ambush or fight someone without causing much alarm.

**“You’re pathetic. Look at you collecting toys as replacements for the ones you lost. Still so, so, so stubborn as a child.”**

Replacements? Marie pondered if it meant those people the lady had been travelling with.

** “I know you are waiting for them, too. So why not wait with me... We’ll vanquish your enemies. Sign a deal with me and nobody will be able to stop us.”**

Wispy voice thinning into something more discernible, something inviting, their foe dismisses its hostile form and gathers the foul smoke around it. “What monstrosity is it going to transform into again?” muttered Marie under her breath. Dark energies rapidly surging in like a storm and fusing, giving birth to a different figure—this time a charred man. A whirlpool of dark spell sprawled out of its feet as it touches the ground and instantly bursts into raging flames, trapping it and the lady in a blazing ring of hellish fire.

The vigilant’s call had befallen deaf ears and so she tried to see beyond the waves of inferno, squinting and behold she did,

past the embers,

past her mistress,

vision blurring with the welling of tears,

“Marco...”

There’s that name out of your lips again. You stood unmoving, staring in disbelief at the boy in front of you. Thick, brown mane flowing effortlessly in the wind and his healthy green eyes, an exact male copy of his older sister, right there_, right there_, walking towards you with the suit he always adored and the sweetest smile that filled you with overflowing joy—just as you always remembered it. Paralysation hit you like thunder the second this charred figure shredded off its skin and revealed the face of someone you loved with all your heart.

It’s just too cruel.

You know this is but an illusion but you couldn’t hold your blade against that face. You haven’t thought about him ever since he—ever since..

**“Come. We’ll avenge everyone. Let’s destroy those who had persecuted us! Then we will live in absolute bliss.”**

Stop using his voice.

**“We can live together.”**

Not like this.

**“You can live with everyone if you accept her. This is the promise of Vaermina.”**

“Just stop it! Stop using his voice! Stop using his face! _Stop invading my fucking memory!”_

You fumed, angry tears streaming down after the first one did drop. The blade kept shaking in your hands. Why won’t you stop shaking! It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t, everyone has to know _it wasn’t, it wasn’t, it wasn’t, you are not—_

**“Guilty? Don’t be... Sshhh... That’s right. We can finish this. We can make them pay for what they did to me. Together.”**

Marco reaches out a hand and suddenly, you’re fifteen again, hauled nine years back to the last day you saw him smile. How long has it been? Nothing else is running in your mind right now than the unbridled urge to encircle your arms around him. All the things you failed to convey. To just collapse on his feet and beg for forgiveness. It was you they wanted, it was _you_ who should’ve died, is what you wished to tell him.

But this isn’t Marco. Marco wouldn’t approve of your thinking. Marco wouldn’t vouch for a bloodbath.

_“HOW DARE YOU!! HOW DARE YOU USE MY BROTHER’S IMAGE..! YOU MONSTER! DEVIL!!—”_

Marie’s hysteric cries pierces through the increasing noise of pyrotechnics, effectively breaking your attention, and you commanded her to stop but was too late. As the vigilant mindlessly sprint towards your enclosure, the daedra beckons the flames to consume your friend as a proof of how easily it can turn the tides of this battle, but she slips and evades the attack in doing so. Bright explosions of the event glistened and reflected on the ground Marie had slipped on, revealing ice creeping slowly about. She gasps—

_Lucien!_

Panic took over when you see the daedra speed past your peripheral! Nearly splitting your brain as you stretched out both hands before magicka could even respond, and enveloping the monster with all the force you can conjure when you catapulted it on the wall halfway through the alley. The first step you took had your knees buckling. One look and Kaidan takes command from there.

“Try and find help!” Those were the words he parted with them before his blade met the creature’s unrelenting assault.

**“Ohh.. I remember you, mortal! You were back at the camp. Back in the forest. I remember you before I'd befallen a complete slumber.”**

Kaidan gnashed his teeth in defiance of the daedra’s power.

** “We sought your blood, bounty hunter.... Funny that we’re waiting for them now when one of Mehrunes Dagon’s old worshipper is standing right here.”**

“What the.. How’d you know about that—_urgh!_”

The demon’s twisted laughter rippled in the air as it jumps over the swordsman, ready to take his life. Kaidan prepares himself for the worst, the drumming off hooves matching his pulse—

_Hooves?!_

A quiver slices through and hits the daedra’s face. Followed by another. Then another one with lightning speed.

“I don’t usually judge by appearance but you sure are ugly!”

Auri had already shot two more arrows by the time she finished her sentence. The bosmer clicks her tongue and Thistlefoot sticks to the walls, making way for Inigo galloping at full speed towards the distracted daedra, blade raised high enough to gather momentum when he lets it fall and swing upwards as his mount rams the monster.

“Hang on, steed! _Hyah!_”

There are but a few moments in which time slows down in front of a person’s eyes, mostly due to them facing a near death experience, and Kaidan knew it better as any seasoned fighter would. Still when Inigo surrendered it to pure chance not to trample him over with the horse, Kaidan felt his heart froze for an eternity even if it were just one second. One was too damn long.

Things were just happening too fast, too soon—Kaidan didn’t have time to ask the khajiit or bosmer whether they came across Lucien or Rumarin, next thing he knew was they were being called by Nadina from the south end of this narrow passage. About a dozen or more hooded people were ganging up on the three ladies and for the love of the Nine, this isn’t the kind of festival he was expecting.

* * *

“Hey! Watch the face!” Inigo complains after evading a frontal attack. Having no choice but to shoo away their steed before it gets skewered by these hooded idiots, he arrives beside his friend on foot. His thrice layered leather should hold, silently sending his thanks to the gods that he bought a new gear just before this whole confusing affair. The lot of them had a million question when they joined forces but were all furiously shot down by a seething vigilant of Stendarr.

Their companion, mysteriously changed in more ways than one, implored them to set aside the discussion later when the daedra’s screech nearly caused the riotous place to fall silent. Everyone prepared to make up some kind of defence, mainly against the snarling monstrosity of Oblivion, but was caught off guard when instead of _them_, its murderous tendrils went for the cultists, impaling and slicing them mercilessly.

“I take it that’s our cue to run?” Kaidan huffed, shoulders slumping down involuntarily.

“YES! _Shor’s filthy beard_, thank you for the input, now hurry up!” his employer and Auri tugs at his heavy arm and points at everyone already paces ahead of them.

“This route should lead us to one of the city’s gates, eh?” Nadina catches her breath as keep to the city walls, as per Marie’s instructions. “Hell, why don’t we just hide with the crowd!?”

“Bring the fight to the civilians, are you insane!” Marie exclaims, “Either way, my lady’s plan worked!”

“So that’s why you stalled the fight? Who d’hell were those bastards anyway, they just appearing like fucking vultures?”

“Long story.. What’s important is while the daedra’s feasting on them, we can get away.”

The redguard moans in frustration. “My feet hurts like hell. Took them long enough...”

“Maybe they were getting dressed? I am quite sure nobody dresses like that in a festival.” Inigo ponders out loud.

“Halt in the name of the King!”

The group stopped on their heels when a rider appeared in the next corner ordering them to do so. Several more in the same armor followed just behind. The glaring mage light above him was an unwelcomed one but it allowed them to quickly identify him as a knight. _A knight of Camlorn._

“Inigo...? Wait, sir knight, those are our friends!” Someone squeaked from behind the troops.

The horsemen moved aside as two people paved their way and the tension broke into one chorused sigh of relief when Rumarin and Lucien showed themselves. Following their report of where the commotion is, Auri, Kaidan, and their companion quickly caught up, with both mounts much to Inigo’s delight—he had grown a liking to their steed, if he must reveal so. And so they resumed making for the city gates.

“Can we really just leave that creature to them?” Kaidan inquired.

“They’re from the Knight’s order, swordsman.” Marie answered, albeit still feeling uneasy. “If someone has the power to banish or purge a daedra that strong, it’s gotta be with them.”

“Oi, you guys, I know a guy who can sail us outta this land. Fast.” Nadina interrupted, informing their group of a pirate she crossed Hammerfell to High Rock with. It wasn’t the most reliable source, but they’ll take any chances they have right now while they’re all still in one piece.

* * *

Who would’ve thought they’d cross the hill so fast in spite of most of them limping and continually struggling to keep their breaths steady? It was mainly the adrenaline in their veins and gravity pushing and pulling their feet to go straight down to the port, but also thanks to both their companion and the vigilant trying to restore their strengths with the bits of magicka they have left.

Just when they were nearing the port, the sound of space ripping at the back had all of them externally groaning out their grievances.

**“After my master died I should’ve been released as well. Instead, those filths found a way to keep us bound together, using me as a tool to track you down, and which resulted in my concealment in a lowlife like you.”**

The daedra spoke, resentful, scathing, but then unfeeling.

**“But you’re smart. Like the rest of your kin. When I awoke, I had no other desire but to bathe in the blood of those who defiled my freedom. You knew that and used it so you weaklings can escape. I’d expected no less.”**

The daedra appeared just behind them. It took the form of a shadowy stark black figure mimicking Candle’s and faint purplish embers flew out of the cracks it had in its body, giving them the impression that it must have greatly struggled before successfully following them here. Everyone closed in around the woman but she chose to accept its confrontation.

“Very persistent. I’ll give you that. Fine then, I’ll grant you the release you badly want. Let’s end it right here!” she says, pulling out the banishment scroll despite her companions’ wishes. Yet the daedra only gave it a laugh.

** “Such stubbornness... You know that spell won’t send me back. Neither am I allowed to take your miserable life. Such is the power of my master’s bindings.”**

“What the bloody hell do you want, then?” Kaidan gritted his teeth. As if they have time to chitchat with a devil!

**“Just a little.... ‘parting gift’. It is what I’ve been brought into existence for, after all. To hide away those gut wrenching nightmares. Now since I am unable to do that anymore...” **

With the slightest movement of its arm, a pillar of dark magic smites through her while the others were blown away, energies whirling around her violently to the point of lifting the woman’s figure mid-air. Whatever nasty ritual that was, it was over way too quick and the daedra itself is gone. The vigilant tried to sense its presence but ultimately resigned, reporting to them that the medallion no longer resonates. It’s gone, is what she said, leaving nothing more but their addled companion on the dirt.

“Oi, woman. What happened?!”

“Lady Rozenn..!”

Both Kaidan and the vigilant slid beside her. The woman didn’t appear to be harmed—other than all of the bruises and scratches she had earned along with them, that is. “That.. Damn hurts...” she muttered out, pertaining to a headache as she winces while rubbing her temples, involuntarily attempting to ease the pain that was spreading. Kaidan and the others had been calling her as well but her vision’s spinning. Everything is bleak, colors all mixed up in a surreal kind of way. She blinks, disoriented, and blinks again, realizing what the wicked creature did.

“My lady, what was that?”

“My memories... It took some of my memories again..” Well at least she understood the question.

“No... What do we do now?” Marie almost sounded whiney. But maybe that’s just her hearing doing the trick.

“Crap... Was that suppose to be a birthday gift? It’s shit.”

Marie’s relentlessly begging her to calm down, to not push herself or just slow down into walking pace. Oh but she didn’t, she couldn’t, why would she. She can’t stay in a patch of grass forever. She has to keep up or the world will spin and spin and spin till she loses her mind.

The next move? The next move is to find a bed. To Oblivion with everything that’ll hinder you. Your companions’ pleas were dismissed with the noise of the nearby town and your legs wouldn’t let you walk straight. Damn limbs!

The city flaring up in a spectacular fire show and echoes of celebration all around indicated the 20th of Second Seed, and the day which you are born. Whatever. Everything feels like a rusted iron from head to toe. But carry on, one feet in front of the other.

_It hurts._

And you’re tired of giving chase.

Who cares if you got your memories stolen again? Better some left than nothing, right?

Too much to remember, too much to relive.

This cosmic game of tag is exhausting.

Being called upon in rapid succession is the last thing you remember before your mind pulls you in a hazy pit of darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More answers incoming. >u> The story owes you that!! ლ(๏‿๏ ◝ლ)
> 
> I am currently working on the next chapter as we speak, my fingers are screaming at me lolol
> 
> Thank you for all the feedbacks!! >//<


	35. We Have Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone is just in need of an honest talk and stop trying to be so emotionally guarded from the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue guys!

**034**

**We Have Time**

  
Light scents of apple mixed with rose coming from candles filled their companion’s bedroom. The mysterious woman was knocked unconscious for almost a couple of hours now. She should be sleeping after all of that, it should be nothing to worry about—yet they were all there. Seated on a chair, on a sturdy crate, any free space on the floor really. Bunked together inside one room like refugees, the sound of breathing and soft snoring are the only things keeping the entire place from drowning in this heavy silence. Some were sleeping to regain their strengths, others were just too bothered by the incident to find rest. The function of their legs practically abandoned them the second they allowed themselves to drop their guards, so here they are. Settled in collective muteness.

“The tea is ready.”

Every head in the bedroom turns towards the door, meeting the vigilant’s calm gaze with question.

“I owe it to every person in this room to provide answers regarding the previous night’s ordeal. It will be a long one. We should take something that’ll keep us warm throughout the night.” Says Lyanna. Though everyone already knew her name, the maiden had requested them not to address her as such. Same goes for lady Rozenn. Calling them by their real names could only further leave traces for their enemies to pick up on as they travel.

“And your enemies are...?”

Auri circled her thumb over the rim of her cup. She’d asked for a rotmeth in place of the tea and gave the tiny ship’s captain, Darion, a grateful nod. There’s also Nadina who shared the bottle, as the redguard strongly rejected anything that isn’t liquor. Long sullen silence stretched over for a minute after Lyanna had spoken and the bosmer couldn’t take it—everyone acting like nothing happened or are just plainly disconnecting from the current situation at hand.

She tosses Lyanna a look after deeming it long enough for a response to be heard.

“Cultists. Remnants of the Mythic Dawn.” A wave of silent groans spread about the table before Lyanna spoke again. “People in service of a Daedric Prince, Mehrunes Dagon. They still have some sleeper agents spread around like pests.” This time, it was Kaidan’s sharp inhale standing out from hushed grumblings that caught Auri’s sensitive hearing. The man had remained in his position leaning against the bulkhead next to the passageway that led to their companion’s current retreat. He looked distant but the grim expression he has tells that he’s every bit interested in this discussion.

“Hang on a minute, this sounds way deeper than just cultists putting you people in their hit list. Why don’t you just take us to the very start?” Lucien urges, “We have time. Don’t we?” he looks around by instinct, needing to know that everyone’s on board with this. Lyanna nodded, taking a sip from her cup of tea.

She needed it for her nerves. What she is about to tell is still too fresh in her heart for it to be called a tale.

She started with being clear about her relationship with the one they call Candle.

“Lady Ro—.. Miss Candle is the only child of a wealthy house our family serves. Though many would simply dump us as being lowly servants, their house treated us far from it. We were like real blood relatives to them. Me and my younger brother, Marco, both grew up with her. We attended the same school for a while but.. there was an incident that forced her parents to have her home-schooled. However, I won’t get into that yet.” She asserts herself, clearing a small frown that had spread to her face.

“Their family’s patron God is Akatosh, though that is common with many Breton families. Her parents... they’re graciously good people. Like a second parent to us.” Lyanna fights the lump building in her throat. She must proceed with this. “Both educated healers, many said they made their fortune by grasping the _‘opportunity’_ provided by the closing of the Great War. There might be a sprinkle of truth in that, yes. But my parents were also there whenever they set out for the Imperial City. And personally knowing those people, I knew it to be true when my mother told me tales about how my lady’s parents worked their selves to the point of depletion just to heal as many people as they can, nevermind how grand or meagre the payment was.”

And she continued talking about Candle’s education. “She was legendary with her swiftness, often using her light frame to its maximum advantage. Superstitious people would go on about how it is due to the star she was born, the Shadow. But I knew my lady is more than that. My father who was a retired soldier and a master swordsman himself trained all three of us and we would always be astounded by her progress. She’s always been extraordinary.”

Lyanna laid out as many facts she believed Candle would be comfortable with sharing, and the skepticism hanging in the air got slowly replaced by curiosity. Inquisitive eyes latched on Lyanna like she was unravelling the mysteries of Aetherius.

“Her magical affinity was never behind. She lacked proper mentoring but she made up for it by mastering the craft herself. I’d recall having to fetch her for dinner night after night for she would lock herself inside her room and lose track of time.”

“Hold up, she never had a mentor?” Nadina raises a brow in surprise.

“None. Other than the ones we shared before she was dismissed by the magister, spell books and various tomes were her only mode of learning about the magical arts—”

“Dismissed? Why?” Kaidan, despite wanting some liquor himself, kept getting a refill of that tea. He knew he’d want to be sober till the end of this session.

Lyanna squints a bit, eyes falling to her reflection in the lukewarm beverage between her palms. “It’s... because of the incident. There was an accident she got mixed up with.”

_ “Please, Marie. You make it sound like I’m a victim.”_

The hoarse voice coming from the passageway easily stole everyone’s attention. Even Kaidan nearly loses balance in surprise upon the arrival of his employer. _‘Damn woman didn’t even let so much as a single footstep be heard.’_ he complained in his mind, because that was easier than admitting she _does_ feel like a shadow sometimes.

Candle steps out of the passageway, moves around the deck like a ghost in that pale tunic and her disheveled hair; gesturing for everyone to settle down as she pours herself some tea. The woman takes a seat at the opposite side of the vigilant’s.

“Can I join in? I’d like to know which memories got taken away...” She says it like it’s some minor setback. It’s her bloody memory for Kyne’s sake! Ah, there she goes again with the lack of reaction. _‘Wonder if she can’t wrap her head around the extremity of the problem or it hasn’t actually hit her yet.’_ Without knowing, he was already making reasons in her place, because Kaidan couldn’t read her right now, at all—and that was starting to get to him.

“R-Right,” Lyanna stammers a bit, “We were just talking about the accident that led to your dismissal.”

“Accident? Was it, though?” she protests, her brows curling in a slightly skeptic fashion. The vigilant shudders at her piercing gaze and fretfully turns away. “Well, I guess you can say I made it look like an accident.” Says Candle, gently swirling the tiny cup of warmth near her face, yearning to restore some heat on her skin.

“You were nine back then, my lady. You didn’t know what you were doing yet.”

“Marie... You shouldn’t keep holding me up a pedestal. I’m no saint.” Candle let the words fall in between them and Lyanna submits, excusing herself to make another batch of tea for everyone.

Heavy silence fell in the room once again. Not only everyone has tons of questions itching for answers from the lady, the perpetually sad yet blank expression she has right now is just disheartening. It just feels wrong to bombard her with queries just because she pretends to be fine.

“Lyanna’s brother.. Marco. He was being bullied back then.” Candle suddenly speaks up and everyone broke from petrification. “So I set up a trap for those kids. The key was making it look like they did it to themselves. And it worked. But the Archmage saw through it as a sham and called my bluff.”

“And you got expelled?” Lucien is evidently brimming with much curiosity, but despite his obliviousness of the current mood, Candle gave him the softest smile.

Enough to mask the exhaustion in her eyes at least.

Kaidan bit down the urge to haul her back to the guest room. _‘To make her get some more rest, nothing more.’_ He instinctively defended from no one. God damn, of all the times—since when did he start caring what or how the others would react to his actions? He nearly groaned out loud, realizing what his companionship with these people is doing to him.

This rowdy group isn’t permanent, for him anyway.

He shouldn’t start getting attached.

“—ver since then, my parents had me join their trips all over Cyrodiil. I was a bit of a problem child. Sneaking out, making friends without my parents’ knowledge.”

“How did making friends made you a problem child?” Auri’s ears twitched, tilting her head in question.

“Well—er.. Those friends were from the Thieves’ Guild.”

“The _what_...!” Lucien exclaims, completely aghast.

“What?” Rumarin shrugs, “It fits, right? I mean with her occupation in Rif...” The high elf loses his voice upon seeing all the other grim faces directed at him. “I-I mean, did you say Thieves’ Guild! I didn’t expect a _nobleperson_ like you hanging out with those rascals!” he feigns surprise which only Lucien seems to buy.

Candle takes the higher ground and plays it cool for Rumarin. She tells them a bit of what she learned from them and what the guild stands for at that time. How the ones she met broadened her horizons and that she wished it was the same case for those in Riften. Majority nodded in silent agreement, save for the imperial scholar who just thought it to be an expressed dismay over the thieves there picking on the poor people the most.

“To be honest, this feels strange.” She admits sheepishly. “I’m still adjusting with getting back on my original self, and talking about my upbringing while on it feels weird. I haven’t talked about my parents in a long, long time and I’m...... _huh_.”  
She looks at Lyanna first, then back at the gently swaying tea inside her cup. “Weird....” She blinks. “My parents... I know they died but..” Confusion sets in and she asks Lyanna how it happened.

“My lady, what do you mean you don’t remember? You were with them when we—” she gasps softly, “Don’t tell me it was stolen...” the vigilant’s eyes grew wide in horror. She finishes attending to everyone’s drink before volunteering to narrate the key events leading to their situation right now. “I’ll just avoid the details. Forgive me, from here on out is where those cultists come in to destroy our lives. They’re not really pleasant memories for us to recall. So I’ll start.”

* * *

_ “None of us ever had the chance to know the root of it all, but after Miss Candle’s 16th birthday, the cultists appeared so suddenly, launching an attack that destroyed the whole mansion. My lady’s parents were dead by the time we got back. Some of us surviving servants escaped with Miss Candle...”_

Furious scribbling occupied the silence of the guest room, and proceeded into the small hours before dawn.

_ “Together with some of her friends in Cyrodiil, we crossed around the land, unsure where to create a new home, or if we should even do that. Ultimately, we were forced to become wanderers, making profits by hunting or thieving. We could never settle inside a city or town for long, afraid of raising attention.”_

Aside from the quill and the parchment of her journal, quickly filling up with words as time flew by, the steady dance of candles were all she sees in this dark place.

_ “For years we got by hiding, running, covering our tracks. We never lost anyone until that day...”_

Her hand stops. Stuffing the quill back into the inkpot, she dipped it. Once. Twice.

_ “We found a good spot somewhere in the forests of Falkreath, in Skyrim. For almost two years, life there was secured. And we finally thought about settling down...”_

How many minutes have passed? The candle melted a significant amount of height. But her hand is still on the quill. Maybe she should reconsider before the ink dries.

_ “... They just—.... Out of nowhere... On the same day of her birth again. Two years ago... just like in Camlorn... And back in our mansion. Horrible.... Horrible magic hit us and we were absolutely blindsided. The incident itself reeks of betrayal from someone among us, but it mattered no longer. Everyone died...—I thought SHE died. Gods, it still haunts my dreams regularly. All the gruesome things they did in the name of their Daedric Prince. And then the witch...”_

“...planted a daedra within me. Lyanna clearly heard that it was purposed to prevent me from healing myself, making the chase easier for them. She knows nothing more about me after she ran away from our sanctuary.”

You finish writing the sentence, slowly following the phrase inside your mind. A long, drawn out sigh slips out of you and mixes with the light creaking of the ship. You let your face fall in your palms, slowly, carefully, like you’ll crumple down into a thousand pieces if you didn’t.

“What’s wrong? Are you discontented with what you have?” Your friend spoke.

“The first time the cultists attacked us and everything after that is... Absent. There and not there. Out of place. That monster really messed it all up. The earliest I remember clearly is the day I escaped the prison. _Sigh_.... I’m free from that daedra but I lost. Again.”

“Maybe some things are better forgotten.”

“You must be joking... Spells, knowledge, events, people. A decade of my life chipped away and I’m supposed to let it be? I can’t even feel a smidge of.. of.. _ANYTHING_ regarding the deaths of my people!” Heaviness set in your gut the more you spoke about it. Being incapable of feeling has never been this stressful. “Marie refuses to talk to me about it. She just keeps telling me that it’s important I live.”

“Is it not? You’re the only one she has left as well. Wouldn’t it be natural for her to desire such a thing for you?”

“I.. I know. But what of those cultists? How am I sure I’m able to fight back if I lost ten years of my training?”

“You think of yourself too powerless, my friend. This one is sure you do not need to be reminded how skillful you are even before you were driven out of your home. Everything after that only enhanced what you already know.” He lectures.

“But I want to know... I want to share her burdens. It’s not right.” Your voice started getting a little shakier than you'd allow it.

“You know, you didn’t lose every memory in between. For one, I still exist. Even when I shouldn’t anymore.”

Still buried in your palms, you huff out in bemusement. All the stars know you don’t have enough space in your mind for riddles, “What do you mean?”

For several long moments it was silent. You were not sure if you had surrendered to fatigue and have fallen asleep on the table or your friend just gave up. But you hear him again.

And this time his voice was very, very thin.

“.... You have to let us go.”

You shuffle around your chair, vision bleary from being pressed on your hand for minutes, and you search through the dark, on the bed behind you, darting at every corner and cabinet just to meet Inigo’s eyes and ask him what he meant by that but....

There’s no one else in the room.

“Inigo...?”

No answer.

Instead of fright, there was an indescribable ache that suddenly tore a hole in your chest, sending waves of loneliness that did nothing to improve your already weary state of mind. And for reasons you couldn’t find, your journal is already getting damped with tears.

...

..

..

_What is with this f__eeling of abandonment._

* * *

The unannounced arrival of your wood elf friend caught you off guarded. She held a bowl of deer stew, no doubt taking the ingredients from the poor Captain again, and a basket with milk and bread in it, much to her apparent discomfort. But she carried it. You quickly scuffle from your covers only to slide out of the bed in an utterly graceless manner.

“A-Auri..! You didn’t have to-”

She takes your feeble attempts of fixing yourself as an invitation and proceeds to approach the table on the foot of your bed. The bosmer stops shortly, eyeing something on its surface before carefully making room to place your breakfast. _The journal!_ Your mind panicked, swiping the untidy pad and almost making it fly to the other end of the room.

“It’s nothing...! Don’t mind it. I-I’m...”

“Sleep deprived, depleted, and crying...?” she finished. Not a glimmer of cheer in her big almond shaped eyes. You stuttered, fumbling over your words to come up with something and deflect her accurate observations. “My friend, you’ve been healing some of us since waking up. Then right after Lyanna’s summary of your terrible history with those cultists, you locked yourself up here... Obviously not to recuperate.”

“I understand you’re upset at me.” You sighed.

“I’m not as gullible as Lucien or Rumarin, dummy. Stop masking your feelings.” Worry dripped from her tone.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No... I just wish you trusted me more. I want to help. I still do.” She sighed, taking your hand in hers.

You couldn’t meet Auri in the eye. Somehow her words had you silently anchoring your gaze on your feet again like a child, thumbs itching to rub against each other but you struggle against the mannerism, only repeating whispered apologies just to fight the anxiousness pouring down on you. Being honest? You’re not good with this. But then Auri raises her hand, slender fingers brushing tenderly on your cheek, and her hand is so small, so soft.

Why is she not angry at all for what happened? You lied to her. You left them out and they had to deal with your enemies unprepared. Wouldn’t it be easier to understand if they were offended?

“It’s okay to take a rest. We have time.”

Suddenly, involuntarily, your tears began to drop like rain and any attempt to hold back after that is made useless. “I didn’t want this...” you whimpered repentantly as you hide behind your hands, refusing to let the frustrations come out lest you fall apart into a blubbering mess.

“Rozenn. Candle. It doesn’t matter what you are called. You’re my friend. I’m here for you.”

Auri wraps her tiny frame around yours and for once, you felt courage to be in control again. That you won’t have to struggle all alone. There’s help.

_ ‘It’s... so easy to feel loved in her arms.’_

* * *

After Auri convinced their companion to get a much needed rest, the next thing she advised her to do was to obviously apologise to the others.

Regaining some bits of her confidence, the woman sauntered off to the lower deck, where Rumarin and the others are staying. She takes a deep breath, knocking softly on their quarters which turns out to be ajar. The slightly parted door allowed the bickering inside to be heard. It sounds a bit heated.

_Are they fighting?_

“Rumarin, be reasonable. Surely, you wouldn’t be able to keep your neck this long if you really can’t keep up with a fight like that.”

“I’m not as wild or risk taking as you denizens of Valenwood. And I am being reasonable. My adventures are mainly for profit. Having the risk of cultists on our tails doesn’t really open up a lot of opportunity for me.” The altmer argues back.

“If it’s gold, I’ll have it. I can increase your pay!” Lucien boldly offers, “Please, friend. I believe we’ll all be more effective as we are. And Candle needs us now more than ever.” He states, eyes begging the high elf to stay.

Rumarin pinches the bridge of his nose. This nonsense is going nowhere. He already made up his mind. Why do they even want him to stay? It’s not like he brings a lot to the table when it comes to fights. Oblivion’s sake, even Kaidan or Inigo would be enough on their own to guard around that troublesome woman. Undead? He can handle that. But this talks of daedra and persistent cultists—it’s just too much for him to get involved with.

He’s done seeing companions die.

Done dreading if each encounter will be the last he’ll see his friends.

_ ‘Argh! No, where did that even come from!?’_

Surely, that’s not it. He’s not getting attached to these people, is he? No. He’s not going to linger around to find out.

Inigo springs up from the barstool, surprised. “My friend!” the blue cat calls out.

Rumarin whirls around the door, seeing Candle standing still with a sad look in her eyes. The ones she had when she got her friends back in that Nordic ruin. _‘Don’t you fall for it.’_ He clears his throat and stalks towards her. “Perfect.” He starts, seizing the moment while he’s still emboldened from their sour exchange. “I’m glad you’re up on your feet again. Look. The past months together with you was great.” Why is he slipping out word after word without just getting to it? “You’re great. Really, I mean it. But- well, you see here..”

“You’re leaving...” She smiles at him but those eyes ain’t fooling no one, lady.

Still, he just had to avoid staring too long at her face. “Yeah.. I plan to leave on the next port we stop by.”

Scratching his temple, the altmer speaks some more when their breton friend gave him a response of a mute. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m an expert hobo. I’ll make it out there somehow as long as there’s a job that pays. Er... Good luck on those cultists..”

Nothing. She’s still quiet. Why is everyone so quiet?

_ “Wh- my friend...”_

_ “Oh my...”_

Looking back at the woman made even him choke on his own words. Candle was on her knees, face already touching the floorboards and just about everything in this scene is wrong.

_ “I’m sorry....”_ fragile voice echoed a magnitude of guilt. Trembling to conceal all the remorse behind her passive tone. “Please.... Always be safe....” every word oozed of unspoken frustration dressed in politeness. 

The first time someone willingly kneels in front of Rumarin didn’t play the way he imagined it before. No, please, don’t even ask what it is. A noblewoman begging a grave robber like him for forgiveness. It’s downright ridiculous—isn’t she mortified at all? Why is he getting affected by this? It’s gonna be hard to stay but...

Why is it so much harder to leave?

Without a care for their audience, Rumarin leans down, reaching a hand to pull her up. “Are you stupid?”

“Yes.” She sniffles. Eyes glistening and layers of emotions breaking her demeanor.

“If I stay and I die, you’ll be sad, you know.”

A nod. “Yes.”

“And you still want me to stay?”

She frantically shakes her head, meaning to let him know that she won’t hold him back should he wish to go, but the tears streaming down her face doesn’t really do the job of selling her act. “Stupid...” Rumarin grumbles under his breath before pulling her in his arms.

_‘You really... know how to make me feel stupid.’_

He had been through various places, travelled around and fought side by side with several people, be it just a single person or a group. But he never experienced this. Whatever _this_ is... is strange. He didn’t know why but her muffled cries on his robes make him feel light as a feather. To be viewed as a friend instead of a nuisance... He’d almost forgotten how that feels like.

Rumarin had a bit of time to send his thanks to the Gods before getting squashed inside an uninvited group hug.

* * *

“Oh... Hey.” Kaidan softly greeted after stepping into the main cabin and spotting a certain companion of his looking out the window while leaning against its side. “Up so late? Hopefully not because of some voices again?”

Candle’s shoulders barely twitches, huffing softly at his greeting, _if one can even call it that_, but her head doesn’t turn towards him in the least.

“Here to lecture me about taking a rest?”

“Worse. I’m gonna crack jokes.”

“Gods.. I knew you were planning to make me cry as well.”

They shared a laugh and observed the view as silence peacefully take over. Their ship must have already reached another city closer to the shore and the woman stood unbothered, watching the festival near its end.

“We could go out.” He suggested, finding his balance after mirroring her position on the other end of the window.

“It’s noisy and cold outside.”

“I’ll fetch you a cloak, my lady.”

Candle made a noise that’s somewhere between laughter and disgust. She slants her head and casts him an amused look before fixing her gaze back outside. “Aye, I don’t got that uptown tone you lot have. Sorry to disappoint.” He chuckles. Oh, he knows of today’s atmosphere being nothing but depressing. Had enough of it, really. So he decided to tackle the situation differently; be a little more ‘friendly’ in approaching her.

“You don’t have to make a fool of yourself just to get me talking, Kai.”

Ah well, of course he should’ve known she’d easily see through that.

“You don’t have to be so guarded. I’m not leaving...” He says quietly. She kept still, he thought she’d ignored him but she lets out a short sigh. “Yet...?” wishful, despondent, her tone has him scratching his head. “No. Until you stop needing me to save your arse.” Replies the swordsman. She was more unmotivated to speak than he’d thought. Perhaps she really does need to rest in some more. Why is she even out here at this hour... Oh.

“Happy birthday, _Candle_, I guess. That’s really a ridiculous name by the way.” And this time he earned a genuine laugh. Hearing it gave him more satisfaction than it should have and a wide grin unconsciously conveyed this. “I see you’ve heard my grumbling last night. Yes. It’s my birthday. My parents always took me to the Fire Festival as a celebration of it.” She says. “That speaks for your favor with fire spells and anything in that shade.” Casually points out the raven haired man. Both of them went quiet for a while.

“...Observing me?”

“Hard not to. Especially when you’re toying with those fireballs in _my_ vicinity.” He grumbles.

“Right. You’ve got a history with fire, huh?”

Kaidan’s lips curled into a smirk. “You’re observing me as well, then?”

She removes her gaze from the distant lightshow, locking steely blue eyes on him. “Hard not to.” She mimics him, and it sends an unwelcomed chill down his spine. Geez, how does she switch expressions like that. A good thing it’s dark in here.

“Sorry if I surprised you.” Giggles the woman. Her ocean eyes reflected the pyrotechnics and Kaidan nearly blurts out to compliment those gems. He needn’t to ruin the mood right now. Well, she seems receptive; maybe he can ask something about her.

“Your parents were healers, eh? I suppose that’s where you picked up those gifts.” he mentions after changing the topic. Candle takes a step back from the window, “I never touched anything concerning lessons in restoration until we escaped. That’s what Lyanna said.” She pauses, “That means I was a conceited bastard of a child who was too full of herself just because she was advancing on a faster rate than the other kids my age. I only grew up, but I never learned. Until it was too late, I guess. From what Lyanna was willing to share with me, I took up healing largely because of guilt...” Heaving a sigh, the woman soon realizes her lengthy speech and apologizes for it.

“Don’t be. At least the could-be worst parts of your past are erased. Not many people can understand how it’s like to pray for one day not to wake up from a nightmare.. to finally be able to stop reliving such a memory.” Kaidan stares back outside, not to the festival, just in the distance. She raises a brow, sizing up his words. “Ha.. Hearing you say it makes me feel like I’m a whiney brat.”

“Hey. Look at it this way for now. At least you can remember what your parents are like. They live in your memory.” He ruffles her hair.

“And you, what of your mother...?”

The question came as a surprise but he’d let it slide. He didn’t know she was interested. “Ah.. No, I don’t know much about my mother, only that the sword I have once belonged to her, or so Brynjar told me.” Remembering his mentor’s words tugs the corners of his lips into a tiny smirk. “He also said that she was brave and beautiful and clever, but never anything actually useful.”

“She sounds lovely from your mentor’s perspective.” She remarks with a dash of intrigue.

“Y’know after his death, I took the job of bounty hunting. It’s all I know, really... And it’s led me to some interesting places.” Kaidan muses, the increasing lightshow stirring him to talk about more of adventures. “And some other years, I-... Well..” his mood plummets down, inwardly regretting the fact that he’d almost let that part of his past slip out. He’s not ready to revisit that yet. “Perhaps the less said about parts of my past, the better...”

He could almost see her scrunching her face in puzzlement. “You don’t want to tell me?” Time trickled painfully slow as the festival enters its finale. “It’s not something worth retelling...” was his only answer and he felt her moving in the dark, so even without looking, he grabs her by the hand.

“Where’re you going?”

“To give you room. Obviously I prodded on something I shouldn’t have.” She says in a much softer voice. He firms his hold on her, unsure whether it’s the cold wind or the feeling of her skin that makes him unwilling to let go. “Don’t. You’re going to miss the best part.” He replied, nodding towards the festival reaching its climax. Candle’s eyes did widen for a moment, realizing he’d meant to watch the Final Performance with her since she was already waiting for it before he made his presence known, and she couldn’t turn down such kindness.

“Kaidan... I can’t help but fear for what comes next. There’s a lot of things I wanna sort out. And I don’t want you people in danger.” She admits, letting the bright display distract her from the fretful beating inside her chest.

“That’s normal. We’ll figure it out.” Says Kaidan. He brushes over her knuckles and she squeezes back, needing of some sort of assurance.

“We..? Yeah..” she hummed, remembering something she’d heard from everyone today.

“Do we really have time, Kai?”

“Aye. Lots of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. It's mainly fluff >< because everyone deserves a hug! I guess that concludes the Fire Festival arc! Y'know what that means—next adventure!!! More mysteries to uncover! I'm excited! XD
> 
> (Yes i get excited bc my hands get possessed and writes the stuff down. I just read it XD)


	36. Gone Rogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find yourself in a freezing place, disoriented and foggy memories with how you got there but no need to rush. The dark elf will hear you out for as long as you need to relay your side of the story.

**035**

**Gone Rogue**

  
The sharp stab of freezing northern gust pierces through her bones and her eyes shot wide open, screaming, wheezing, and hacking her way back to consciousness. Back to this shite reality. Digging her fingers on dirt and snow, she lurches,

which way?

_Anywhere!_

Bile rises and impatiently exits her, leaving a trail of fire in her throat as she retches to get the rest out behind a dead stump of wood laid on the white blanket covering the ground. Where the hell is this place and why is it so fucking cold!?

_Pain._

Everything is in intense pain like she just got run over by a horse. _It fucking hurts_—especially on the left side. Wary hands travel to the burning spot under her ribs and she hisses sharply at the stinging sensation of the contact, even when she only lightly grazed the top of the tight fabric wrapped around her sides.

_ “Easy now. You need to stay put or the wound will open.”_

“Wha.. Who...?” You barely got a word out before you enter another fit of dry coughs. Your stomach gets even more strained, insides burning and twisting that you wouldn’t be surprised if you actually started puking your guts out. Then again a warm hand presses on your back, stiff and awkwardly but in a soothing manner. Kaidan’s face flashes in your mind before it registers to you that you haven’t seen each other for almost a fortnight.

You desperately grab the bottle of liquid offered to you and _shoved_ the content inside your mouth like one would stuff a cork back in a wine. You could make out the distinct taste of green tea as the liquid glides smoothly, dousing the ache flaring inside your body, and your pulse finally start to stabilize.

_“Easy, easy. Don’t get up so quickly. How are you feeling?”_

You swore you heard this voice before. What in oblivion...? Slowly turning around, you come face to face with a female dunmer, wrapped in full leather armor that awfully reminded you of... of...

“You’re... Karliah? Hold on, you shot me!” The dark elf simply sighed quickly at your disbelief, “No, I saved your life. My arrow was tipped with a unique paralytic poison. It slowed your heart and kept you from bleeding out. Had I intended to kill you, we wouldn't be having this conversation.” Coolly and without coating, Karliah crosses her arms, regarding your crouching figure with slight caution in case her patient chooses to raise arms.

“I... Then mr. Frey.. _No way_...” Despair descends inside your chest the same time your hand tried to feel the deep wound on your left side. That means... Mercer did this. Mercer Frey betrayed you. Wait. Did Brynjolf knew? Did he lie to you, too? Who else was on this!? Just as the questions started pouring in, your thoughts reached an intersection that launched you into complete panic.

“My companions!” You shouted, taking Karliah by surprise as she visibly jerks back. “I-I need to get back... I have to- t-to Riften! My friends.. in that city. Brynjolf—he, he’s..” You’re stammering, it must be the cold again! And this linen on your wound is too tight. _Too tight!_

It’s so hard to breathe—

You can’t breathe!

_Why can’t YOU FUCKING BREATHE!_

Karliah was saying something you couldn’t understand. You thought her lips moved, it’s still moving but you can’t hear clearly. All you managed to notice was the bits of snow that laid on top of her worn out boots. And some sort of ointment she was holding under your nose.

White. There’s a lot of white wherever you look. Since when did she hauled you inside a tent? You’re sitting up, wrapped in layers of furs and cloak made of animal skin but.... How? Karliah had her back facing you, crouching and fiddling with something though you’re quite sure you could spot several herbs and mountain flowers peeking from a tiny satchel by her side. 

“Karliah.” The name rolled out of your tongue like you’re overly familiar with it. The dunmer twists around, a look of relief flickered in her eyes before it became unreadable again. “Don’t push it yet. I’ve prepared a tea over there, mixed it with something that’ll help your nerves. I hope you trust me when I say it’s the same ‘calming’ ingredient I had you breathe in. Do help yourself.” She motions to a tankard just within your arm’s reach.

Carefully sniffing, it seemed to be just a plain tea with a sweeter scent. Wonder what it is. Knowing she could have already killed you multiple times over, Karliah proves her resolution to spare your life with the nursing she’s giving for free. You consumed the offer with gratitude.

“You were talking about your friends and Brynjolf whilst panicking. Are you thinking they’ll be harmed?”

Her sharpness cuts through your blank state and you feel your gut wrench in fear. “Yes... Brynjolf promised me he’d look out for them. He and Mercer must have planned this. I don’t know if it’s wise to contact my friends now.”

“It’s not. But if it’s only Brynjolf who gave you his word, you can trust that he’ll keep it. I take it you already know he doesn’t like unnecessary casualties. A thief’s method is far from that. Besides, Brynjolf will never see eye to eye with Mercer. Not after what that scum did.” There was a low growl at the end of it. The dark elf’s way of stating it as a fact made relief easier to allow in. Part of you was already wailing at how you’re just finding an excuse to get rid of the worry, making yourself cling onto false hope. The much hopeful part is patting your back and telling you to trust your mentor. As if listening to either dispels the biggest problem at hand: Mercer Frey is still alive out there.

Disoriented, you frowned at yourself. How the hell did things spiralled into this...

* * *

_“My lady. We should get going.”_

Marie’s soft voice gently calls out to you in your sleep. The trip back to Solitude took about five days, thanks to the winds directed in your favor and Darion’s ship being a lot smaller than the vessel you took the first time.

The group, now on better terms with each other than they’ve ever been since forming this alliance, banters and even chuckles at each other’s small talks as they waited for you on the docks.

“Hey, Darion. Thanks for giving us a ride again.” You politely smiled at the altmer with a collection of fancy feathered hats. He scratches the back of his head with a strange smile, almost half forced. “I can’t really refuse Nadina for anything, really. I still owe her family.”

“See the things you get when you make the right friends.” Nadina butts in, slapping the man’s shoulder with a wide grin plastered on her smug face. “I told you we can rely on this pirate!”

“SSHHH—Don’t speak so loud! Geez. And I’m not a pirate. I... deliver things. Privately. It’s a proper job.” Darion’s words turned into a hushed mumble towards the end.

“An illegal one, too. Aye, I got ya. As long as you work your bounty off, call it whatever you want~” she teases triumphantly over at Darion who only shrinks under the pearl white feathers of his hat.

Marie exchanges glances with you and shrugs. Well. Whatever he’s on is not something for you to meddle in. Darion accepts the gold he was given with misty eyes. It was your group’s way of apologizing for all the resources consumed, granted that Nadina held the man at blade’s end when he reasoned the first time. That’s the downside of accepting labour instead of prison time—you basically just become someone else’s slave for a while. Not really that liberating. Hopefully, serving Nadina isn’t that much of a punishment. But then again, the woman is a lot of work. Sorry Darion and may this serve you a lesson.

“You be safe out there, too.” Waves off Nadina.

“You won’t be joining us?” you asked, a bit surprised but this is Nadina, so again, not really a shocker. “Pretty happy cruisin’ round and living a pirate life,” she smiles and you hear Darion correcting the term again somewhere at the back, “But if our paths cross again, who knows. At least let me know you’re alive once or twice a month, yea?”

“Sure. Maybe we can hit it again next time.” And you witness how your mindless choice of words make a dent at her smugness. Marie could only chuckle the whole time. _‘It’s nice to see the stoic lady smile._’ Your childhood friend had always been composed, as it is expected from a person of her status inside your house. But screw all that! There’s not even a _house_ to return to anymore. So getting her to loosen up in public is uplifting enough. Everyone watched the ship sail away until they were far enough before taking a short climb for the city gates.

“Are you sure you want to resume adventuring, my lady? I still have a lot from my pay I can share with you.” Marie raises her brows with worry, making you snort, “Haha, I should. What am I good for if not for putting my skills at work? Now about money... You sure earn a lot, huh?”

“Ah.. Not at all. The last client was just really generous. Uhm. I guess it depends on how badly they want their situations ‘fixed’. Getting your home purified of evil entities might inspire a charitable spirit.”

“I see. You seem overly inspired with the items you bought me, though.” you tug at the scarf she bought you back in Camlorn. These things are expensive—the materials are especially made to go well with customized enchantments. It’s no surprise how it survived the battle.

_That, we hardly won at all..._

You feel your brows creasing slowly together the deeper you dive in. What happened to the daedra and how did the Knight’s order dealt with the cultists? For sure, they’ll try to keep that sordid affair as quiet as possible. If there’s anything consistent in most breton societies, its the unhealthy desire for a flawless image. Sometimes it comes with silencing loose ends by any means. One tiny error can be the only information another politician needs to rid their enemy or ‘gain a specific friend’. Politics in High Rock can be quite... _dirty_. A good thing your house was never involved in any of that sort.

Marie calls your name slightly louder. “Ah- yes, sorry what did you say?” the vigilant gives you a lingering look that turns somewhat displeased. “You haven’t lost that habit one bit, my lady. Always sinking your head underwater.” She says and you nudged her. “Wow, that’s harsh. Was I always?”

She was quiet, evaluating her answer. “Only after we ran.”

“Oh. Then... it may be for the best that I drop all desire to seek out the past ten years of my life. I mean-.. Hearing from you, it sounds... Not worth the trouble.”

“Indeed, my lady. But not everything. We... had one of the best times out there. Y’know... something to tell the children.” You pretended not to see the tiny sad smile she had, afraid that you’ll... You’ll what, change your mind just because of it? Will you? “But it’s fine. If you want to forget, nobody should have the right to hold you back._ I want to forget_. But the Divines have not allowed it, as you see.” She clarifies. “I’m already thankful enough that you still remember everyone and everything prior to our exile. Whatever path you take on, you must _always_ remember who you are. Don’t be afraid to embrace it.”

You held her gaze, slowing down the road and never paying it mind that you two are getting left behind by the others. “Who I am...? You mean that silly _prophesy_?”

“Silly? My lady, everyone _died_ for it..!” she lowers her voice but the bafflement is evident. “We believe it, we believe in you! Please... Don’t let these hardships bend your faith.”

“Faith. Faith is what everyone got killed.” You sharply responded and all too sudden you find yourself pleading. “I don’t remember, okay? But it doesn’t mean I do not understand. What’s important is being alive, you said that. Look at us, sis. We’re safe,” you grab her hands, “We can start again. Even if it’s just the two of us. No daedra, no cultists. We don’t have to look back or hold on to some saying we can’t even prove! Please, Marie...”

Marie hesitated at first, and she could still be at this moment, but she cupped your hands in hers, nodding lowly at your words. “I... I can’t say I agree. My whole life, all of us looked up to you. We believe you’re blessed with this great destiny. But I also do not wish to argue about it. I know Gods will have a way to give us an answer.” Finally, you both share a timid smile. “What’s important is we’re alive.”

This time, you let yourself memorize the way her eyes sparked with admiration and resolve when she gazed upon your friends.

* * *

It had been an ecstatic evening by far. Lyanna had taken the liberty to rent them _every_ room on the upper floor here in The Winking Skeever—all seven of it or in other words, they have the whole floor to themselves. They’ve been lounging by the balcony, enjoying the heat coming from the common room’s pit fire. Discussions have been largely energized recollections of the previous battle, and frankly speaking, it was pretty damn memorable.

“...When I finally caught up to him, I told him his sphere-thingy is making a lot of humming noise and he went hysterical. Ha! I still remember Rumarin’s stupid face when Lucien and I bumped on them. “_THEY’RE IN DANGER!! WE HAVE TO HELP THEM!” _he said_,_” Auri was having the time of her life, making big motions with her thin arms which was supposed to be an interpretation of Lucien freaking out. “Obviously, Inigo knew something was off when he saw Kaidan and Candle separated and moving rather strangely on the map. So he and I teamed up to get the mounts. But Rumarin, oh Rumarin is such a treasure~” she gleefully pokes the altmer who’s growing pouty by the second. “He just raised his brow at us like we’re the most ridiculous beings on Nirn, _“Give the people some space. Maybe they’re off to... y’know—_”

“Wow. I have _VERY_, very valid reasons to think that!!” Rumarin slams his fist on the table while the others are rolling in tears. Even the swordsman is stifling a laugh. He’s buzzed. How did Rumarin know? It’s KAIDAN. That beast doesn’t smile, not till someone puts liquor in his hands. “He’s a man and she’s a woman! And they’re obviously close in their own terms! It wouldn’t be a total surprise if they hit it at some point!” He dramatically stretches out his arms towards the swordsman and the sneaky breton—currently sneaking a bottle of Firebrand wine in their table.

“WOAH, woman! We’re not in it for half a day yet and you bring that here! That is definitely not for sale last time I checked—”

_“Relax, dear.”_ She smiles coyly, pouring some of them a cup, “I didn’t expect to be _gifted_ by a friend upon my arrival as well.” She whistles at someone from down below and Gulum-Ei flinches from his corner when he catches her waving at him. He mouthed her to get lost, sighing exasperatedly before completely turning his back on them.

“I didn’t know you’ve rich friends here.” Lucien chirps before taking a sip. His scrunched up face is more than enough of a feedback.

“Back on it, I don’t think we’d even have to sneak off. Hell, we’re all adults here. We can just excuse ourselves, ain’t that right?” Kaidan tosses Candle a nod which she returned with an obvious flush, face splitting into a wide grin as everyone commends the raven haired man’s boldness. “Oh goodness! Our swordsman is looking for companionship?” she exclaims in a hearty laugh.

Kaidan shrugs nonchalantly and drinks, “No... But the idea isn’t unwelcomed.” Wow. He _is_ a normal person when he’s had a few. “What did I tell you? A man wants a woman.” Rumarin chides everyone, though his words easily got drowned out by their roaring.

“And sometimes, so does a woman-” Candle blurts out in between short breaths. Their grouchy bladebinder narrowed his eyes at the idiots in stitches surrounding him. Well... This is actually a much preferable way to deal with the past incident’s trouble, so maybe he’ll roll with it.

“Gah... All this talk makes me want to scoop up a maiden in my arms again.” Inigo sighs. An eager Candle, quick to heed companion number one’s call, pushes herself off the table, “Come on down with me, then. The night’s still early, lots of wenches in need of company. Kai, you want one?”

“Uh...? I want what?”

“Make that _two_.” Rumarin cuts in. “Two wenches? I thought you’re the type that fancies males?” she chuckles. “Oh, but I do. Males, females, beasts, goats. The list goes on and on. Although I confess I don’t like billies—wait. You’re not going to bring back a billy are you? Hey, I haven’t finished yet, don’t you two walk away from me!” The high elf pouts as the two disappears from their line of sight.

“That... was interesting. She’s drunk isn’t she?” Lucien conclusively notes. Very keen observation, Lucien. In fact, that proved to be true when Inigo shortly popped back in their balcony alone, bringing nothing but a poker face—as far as khajiit structure goes, that is.

Auri smirks at the blue fellow, “I don’t see any girls... Or billies.” She said, trying to contain a giggle. “ the khajiit scratches his furry cheek, “Er.. I dunno. I don’t think they have plans of going up here anymore.”

_THEY?_

Everyone peeked at the crowd below, trying to see if Candle did gather an audience, only to find her in a table nestled comfortably between alluring maidens, tittering and swooning over her drunken methods of story telling. Lucien and Auri both fight their urges to bellow out their laughter at the sight of Rumarin and Kaidan sharing a bewildered look. It’s not everyday one gets to behold such hilarity. “That’s one way to rub it in.” Rumarin slumps back to his chair, followed by Inigo muttering in agreement after taking their seat.

“Are you sure that’s alright?” Lucien asks quietly, secretly in awe at his friend’s social skills turning from zero to gladiator under the influence of alcohol. Kaidan shrugs, “Huh. ‘s long as she doesn’t do anything that’ll get us thrown out. Besides... She should have the chance to properly celebrate her birthday.” The scholar didn’t miss the glimmer of amusement that crossed his crimson eyes. For a moment they were silent, and by the Divines was it terribly awkward. It’s the first time they addressed each other after their little scuffle and they’ve yet to formally mend things between them. Looks like it’s up to Lucien this time, while the swordsman is still inebriated.

“Ahem.. Sooo.... Kaidan. If we’re speaking to one another again, why don’t you tell me about your... Warrior upbringing?” The usually aloof man glances at him with hesitation, perhaps weighing the sincerity in his voice. “Are you seriously asking? Or are you just looking for another way to insult my intelligence?” Kaidan responded suspiciously.

Lucien admits he could’ve delivered it in a slightly more serious tone, and, well, he _is_ trying. “Oh look, I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot before.” He gestures apologetically, “Please, I’d like to know.”

“Well. It was a nomadic life. Saw more of Tamriel in ten years than most do in their lives, I think. And we slept under the stars most nights.” He started, “Had a weapon put in my hand from the moment I could walk, really. I didn’t have the luxury of learning anything if it wasn’t key to survival. Still, wouldn’t trade it for anything. Satisfied?” concludes the swordsman.

Whew. That was strangely easy. But Kaidan making it so must be a good sign, right? Lucien smiles appreciatively at the information shared. “Sounds like an entirely different world. I’m not sure I envy you. I’ve always appreciated the comforts of home.” But a fleeting thought of him living in the wilderness as a barbaric hero puts a tiny smile in his face. Lucien the wildling? Lucien the vagabond? Lucien the nomad? Bandits beware! Er, those things doesn’t really sound fierce—just gives off the impression that he’s poor and homeless.

“It shows.”

Lucien’s amused chuckle somewhat put the swordsman on defence. “What?” “Oh, nothing. I mean, it does show.” The young imperial cheerily admits. “Although, I gotta say... As far as upbringing goes, I wouldn’t have guessed Candle to be an aristocrat.”

Their friend did mention her parents were always on duty and that she spent years getting well acquainted with thieves rather than her fellow nobles. How hard was it for her; to be so suddenly tossed into a savage world after the attack on their mansion? ‘_Her skills are no laughing matter, that’s for sure.’_ Lucien gloomed a bit, knowing that Candle must’ve underwent a lot of physical, emotional and mental hardships to achieve such mastery in just the span of ten years.

“Speaking of her, where’s that vigilant?” Kaidan glanced around upon just noticing the absence of Lyanna.

It took Kaidan four doors to finally catch Lyanna sitting alone in her room—geared up with her belongings packed, and too lost in the letter she’s reading that his intrusion went by unnoticed.

“You’re leaving?”

Lyanna jumps in her spot, turning as fast as she tried to hide the letter from his sights. “What’re you—_uh_. Did you need something?” what kind of letter was she reading? She looks pale.

“You disappeared, so.. Nevermind that. Where you headed to? Does she know?”

“I...” her eyes flickered with anxiousness under the hood and she turned away to look at the letter once more. “It’s from Cyrodiil. They’re summoning us for back up. I am to make an appearance last time but I declined since I went to High Rock to pray for the souls of those we lost. Now I’m being summoned again and I must report.” She grimaced.

“Ain’t that your job? Why make a face?”

“It’s not that I mind, swordsman. I just didn’t expect to receive a letter too soon. And they’re calling support for the same location. That means all those that came before failed to purge the estate....” The expression she had spoke of the mission’s urgency, and most likely its level of threat. “I need to go there. My colleagues need us.”

“And Candle... You won’t say goodbye?” he asked, earning a side glare from the vigilant.

“That’s not fair for her. I fear she might follow if she knew. Will you do me a favor?” Lyanna shot him up a knowing look which he reluctantly accepted. “Forget you saw me. And keep her safe.”

His brows creased a bit. “You don’t have to tell me that. I always plan to.”

For a bit, Lyanna was quiet, seemingly studying the half drunk man leaning by the door. “Funny. I couldn’t figure out which one you are.” She says, almost whispering. When he slanted his head in question, she only waved dismissively, “Don’t mind it. It’s just... The others out there. They remind me of our family.”

* * *

You wake up in a well lit room; smells of faint cinder and flowers pervading the place. You must have forgotten to tend the flames of your fireplace before passing out last night. Wait up, your room doesn’t have a fireplace. With heavy lids, you tried getting up but is held back by an invisible weight on your whole being. ‘_This.. feels good.. but also surreal.’_ You hazily thought. The walls are made of stone, there’s a clutter of books and tomes sprawled on a desk by your bedside and it’s made of oak—you know because you handpicked it yourself. The curtains, window arrangement, even the tiny crack near the corner of the ceiling all look so awfully... familiar.

_‘My old room...?’_

Still unable to pull yourself up, you let your eyes scan the whole room and just noticed several people gathered by the foot of your bed. When they turn around to heed your call, some of them had no face while there are those you recognize. Auri, Lucien, Rumarin...

_Your companions._

They approached you, smiling wonderfully and greeted you a happy birthday. _‘Oh... This is nice.’_ You told yourself, knowing this might be very well a dream but enjoyed it nonetheless. The door creaked open and you catch a sight of Inigo entering the room. He was holding a tray for your tea. 

“You enjoyed a lot today. We’re glad.” He says, wearing a content smile. With a blink of an eye, the people disappeared, leaving just the two of you. What’s more strange; that it felt like they weren’t there to begin with or that you feel indifferent from what just occurred. Inigo’s voice is a bit lower. You wonder if he has a sore throat.

“And I don’t remember you wearing that simple pair of garments. Where’s your armor?” you mumbled out and he just chuckles. _‘The tea smells like flowers... and something sweet.’_ He carefully hands you the drink and you move to reach for it with ease, contrary to your first attempts. “It might help you wake up.” He says. The khajiit blinks from blue to dark grey once or twice, you think, voice starting to sound like somebody else is speaking. “Don’t hold it against Marie.” They whisper in chorus, echoing Inigo’s words... Is this even Inigo?

Maybe it’s the unknown heaviness or the sweet flowery scent that’s blurring your senses, but you can’t do anything other than let it play out.

Once again you wake up, but with Marie’s name on your lips this time. _‘I’m inside the inn and... Wait.._’ you follow where the strong floral scent is coming from and the culprit is... Your clothes? No. Sniffing again, it turns out to be your skin. “Wha... We did end up cooling at the baths but... Those women really gave me a luxurious bath.” You narrate to yourself, considering just how expensive you smell. So that's what you were picking up in that dream?

Quickly recalling the bizarre scenario you just had, you donned a coat to share the story with Marie. You expected to see her befuddled, to not take you seriously, maybe even laugh it off. What you didn’t expect was to walk in on her room and find it empty, save for a bag of gold and a torn letter under it placed on the study table.

_“My lady, I know you’re going to be frustrated once you knew I left. And I know you will want to follow so I shall omit my destination. Apologies. I want to let you know that I’m going on a mission in Cyrodiil. I’ll write as regularly as I can and I hope, if you would forgive me for being selfish, that you return them. I’ll be sure to drop by after this task..._

_ And if Gods allow it, this’ll be my last mission. I will retire as a vigilant to take my place by your side again._

_ ~ Lyanna”_

The paper crumpled at your grip. This is unfair Marie. She just got back together with you—she can't just disappear this easily! Is that mission really important? You knew the answer yet your eyes still began to mist. This is just....

....

..

Kaidan heard someone storming out of the vigilant's room and was halfway through opening his door when he sees his employer swinging hers shut. He couldn’t fight the tiny stab of guilt digging in him when he catches sight of her bitter eyes. Does she need to know? But he promised Lyanna. Even the others were taken by surprise at the vigilant’s sudden departure. She even left them a generous amount enough to last them the whole week, give or take.

It was understandable for the rest when Candle dissociated almost immediately after that. Nobody was brave enough to bring it up, especially him. Inigo had tried but his first attempts nearly made the woman walk out of their table. It wasn’t surprising in the least. What would they expect of her when she’s just reacting the way any of them would if they were thrown under her situation right now. What took him by surprise was finding her the next night in front of his room,

“Let’s leave tomorrow. Everyone can come along or just meet us back at a certain place.” She spat instantly without waiting for his greeting first.

“And uh, where to?”

“Riften. I’m.. I’m gonna quit the guild.”

His brows bounced up in both surprise and appreciation of her plan. “Wasn’t expecting that. The charming rogue going.. well, rogue.”

“I’ve Lyanna with me now. When she comes back, I want to be free of ties. That includes that rotten guild.” She explains, eyes cast downward to her fingertips brushing against one another. “Doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for all of Brynjolf’s help. So I’d like to step down formally.”

“And what of the clues to your past that led you there?”

Candle freezes then met his eyes. “After everything that’s happened so far, I couldn’t care less anymore. I just want my freedom back.”

That was good enough for Kaidan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karliah's here! Not really spoiler-y, I mean we all know what happened. Mercer did an oopsie.
> 
> To everyone reading, all the positive vibes to you this week! (´ヮ`) thank you for the hits and kudos! 💗


	37. Class is in Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucien's path to being an adventurer starts with a few lessons from his companions. Of course things turn into a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some minor magic headcanons c:

**036**

**Class is in Session**

Falkreath’s quiet forests ceased to be the moment lightning crackled and zapped towards the sky, scaring away most of the denizens and sending flocks of birds to scatter away.

“Now you try.” Their breton friend huffed, giving Lucien an assured smile as she beckons for him. The lad nodded eagerly as he stepped forward into the open space outside the shade of the trees, bouncing from his place then bringing his hands together to focus his magicka there. “Okay, okay. So I think I understand how it is done. I can do this, definitely can do this!” Says Lucien.

“Amazing confidence! Would be amazed by a concentrated lightning more.” Candle laughed from under her hood. The month’s nearly coming to an end and summer will fully take over. Better do something to fight that glaring sunlight.

He closed his eyes, feeling the magicka circling in the air for a few seconds before he managed to get them to align in his mind. _‘Image it, feel it, shape it._’ He repeated the simple mantra given to him until the words sunk in his mind and body. The space between his palms began to produce particles of light, energy forming and picking up into a meagre, crackling ball. Just a bit more... He can feel the mental strain coming in but a few more seconds to let the magic grow and—

“Release it! Now!”

The lady’s suddenness causes him to release the thin bolt of lightning on a tree instead of the sky. Oops. “S-sorry Auri!” they both exclaim at a certain bosmer setting up their camp on a nearby open spot. She sent them a scrutinizing gaze before turning around, reminding them to try and be careful as much as they can. Er.. Learning destruction magic outside of school grounds are bound to expose them to risks. That’s why they decided to settle near Auri’s old camp, trying to get as faraway as possible from patrolled roads as to not raise alarm. Lucien watched sheepishly as his friend approached the piece of trunk he’d struck.

After leaving Solitude they told him the next destination was back to Riften, and though he was just a tad bit curious what they have to do there, he decided it would be in his best interest to just keep tagging along with this adventurous bunch, given that he doesn’t have anything better going on until his father figures out the location of Dumzbthar. Oh, he remembers everyone getting a horse of their own. _‘Inigo must be somewhere tending to them.’_ They even offered to buy him one, what with Lyanna’s parting gift and all, but he declined, opting instead for a few handy spells which he can study on the road. And it’s not like he knows how to tame a horse, he can’t even get Thistlefoot to eat from his hands.

After their encounter in Camlorn, one might say he’d lost his mind over being fascinated more than terrified of the battle that occurred, _Rumarin being the first to point that ou_t, but that didn’t mean the incident failed to serve as an eye-opener. So that’s what led him here; having a mild headache over an insanely laughable excuse of a lightning bolt. For now, he sought Candle’s insights with the spell book he bought, a basic lightning spell. It should be an effective one to disrupt an enemy’s concentration or even stun them without having to get in their face.

“Not bad...” Candle muses, her gloves trailing the dark marks his spell engraved on the innocent tree. Lucien shrugs at the compliment, “Really? It-it’s good enough? It looked nowhere near what you’ve shown me. Yours could obscure the stars I bet.” He peered behind her.

“Shush, boy. The point is you can cast it. Cultivating and strengthening a learned spell is another topic.” She lifted up her gloved hand, “Nearly every part of my gear is enchanted, gloves especially, since we have it on majority of the time. Yours have the same effects.” She states as Lucien investigates his, “It helps conserve magicka, allowing us to use our magic with less toll than it would normally cost us. The stronger the enchantment, the more it conserves, yada yada~ basically Rumarin’s whole thing. If you remember, he can keep a weapon summoned for a long time without experiencing any mental exhaustion.”

Lucien nodded obediently and listened to every word with an open-mind. Candle warned him to take her words with a grain of salt, though—what she knows are all self taught and only sharpened by experience. “Alright. So uhm, how do I actually use this as stated? It should be a beginner spell but my result was quite underwhelming.”

Candle’s shoulder shook lightly as she giggled. “You’re adorable. In the best ways, don’t worry~” she chirped, borrowing the spell book and turning it at a certain page where a word of caution is written. “I used to not understand these before as a kid. I learned it the hard way.” She holds up a finger, her little gesture when she’s about to tell him something he’d want to note down. “Our mana drains while we are using magic. In this duration, casting time counts. Image an hourglass, with our mind’s capacity to keep magicka flowing as the sands. Earlier, you were doing it as intended, using magic effectively but you are taking too long to shape it.”

“But I couldn’t do it immediately.”

“Which is perfect. It’s your first try and you did end up casting it, even if it didn’t met your expectations. That just means you must practice it more. Within reason, of course,” she fakes a hand chop at his head. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to pump up your charge. Don’t push it at first try—there are lots of opportunities to study and master your personal methods of working with magic. While expanding limits are often needed to advance, keep in mind we’re still on the road. Exhausting yourself in any way will burden the whole group. We need to at least keep a little in case of emergencies, yes?”

She _does_ know her stuff! Remarkable, truly remarkable indeed. “You almost sound like you actually had a teacher. You do realize that?” he beamed at her.

“A constant dread of the unknown threats really helps when you’re living outside walls. So you can now cast fire, ice, and lightning. What did you want to tackle next?”

“Already? Don’t I have to focus on a single spell?” he croaked. Isn’t she being too hasty? “Of course you do. In the long run. For now, it’ll be handy for everyone if you know a little more than offensive spells. How about paralysation, healing, or a mage light?” Oh, she’s talking about versatility. Hmm, Inigo did say something insightful the other day that fuelled this newfound eagerness to become battle ready.

_“You’ve a long way to go if it’s the sword you want to learn about. We’re doing okay with offense for now. Why don’t you ask our friend if she can teach you something more defensive? Cause a distraction or make our enemies see things while hiding. If you can manage that, we’ll see how we can take it from there.”_

And Inigo is right about that. He can’t fight, not upfront, definitely not like them. Surely, his companions doesn’t want to endanger him and he doesn’t want to hinder them either during an actual fight. His best hope of being useful to the team is to learn something that can support them without risking his neck. Not that he’s fond of the idea of doing so anyway.

Rifling through his sack, he comes running back to Candle with a new spell book.

“Frenzy, is this all? Well.. I guess we can do something with this.” She scratches her jaw, skimming over words she’s already too familiar with. “Alright.” The woman closes the book and began their exercise.

* * *

Hours swept by like minutes when they’re fully immersed in studying all those boring books. Rumarin’s willing to bet they haven’t even noticed him waking up for the _third_ time now since they began. He stared at them discussing something barely audible and then shifts to gently move his hammock, which he proudly bought himself—using Lyanna’s money, of course. He also set it up without asking for help, tying it up between trees that conveniently met the preferred distance. That’s the most initiative anyone can squeeze out of him today. The others disapproved at first but they’ll realize how excellent of an addition it is when they’re camping out like this like the homeless people they are.

Swinging like this underneath the shade of the trees, feeling the early traces of summer blowing in the breeze while the others are busy doing their own thing; that faint and distant sound of exchanged laughter almost makes it feel like he’s back travelling with Otero and a few friends, whose faces he could merely picture now. His lazy afternoon came to a stop when he sees a mother hen and her chick tiptoeing towards him.

“Didn’t you know it’s a crime to intervene someone’s afternoon naps?”

The lady giggles with Lucien, “Pardon us, m’lord. We’re trying to work around with this Frenzy spell and have decided to seek your wisdom.”

Cracking a tiny smirk, he plays along. “What can the ascended one do for you mortals?”

“The wise one speaks. This one humbly asks for your aid,” Lucien quips, “First, we must know if you would oh so kindly-”

“Yes. Alright.”

The two of them blink, “W-.. Don’t you want to know what we have to do first?” the blonde imperial looked a little freaked.

“Nope. This day is so slow, so I’m game.”

Candle gives him a troubled look before reconsidering, “Fine. I’ll take care of you, I promise. Now then...” they ushered him to the empty spot they’ve been training on since morning and distanced themselves a few feet apart from him, telling him to stay put and try not to run away.

“Why would I do that?” He raised a brow upon sighting the rosy glow in Lucien’s palms. “Shh. Lucien still has trouble concentrating but it’ll take only a short while.” She assured him, charging up a spell of her own that emitted a bright aquatic shade. Wait what are they doing?

“Wh-what’s that for?” Rumarin gulped. He’s starting to think he should’ve listened to what they wanted to do first.

“A calming spell of course.”

What the hell, are they planning to make him their target practice!? No way!

“UHH-, I’M GONNA HAVE TO BACK OUT, CHIEF—arg!” Rumarin ducks down in instinct and nearly had his soul leave him for good when he sees a red mist fly over him. Had he been a second late, he’ll be surely under whatever spell that is. “Hey what gives!” he yelled at them and got a _‘but-you-said-it-was-okay’_ look from both dimwits. A series of complaints were rushing to get out of his mouth when the plants and bushes behind him rustled wildly.

The high elf transports himself behind the two at speed record that shall take a rightful place in Rumarin’s fastest fleeing history.

“By the stars, I swear if that swordsman knew of this, you’ll never hear the end of it!”

“_GASP!_ What if it hit a wild animal!?” Lucien frets. That doesn’t help the situation.

“Relax, relax, I’ll cast a calm spell on it when it shows itself. If it doesn’t, the effects should wear off after a few minutes.” Their friend takes off the hood, pushing the hair behind her ears and readied as she anticipated a threat past the bushes.

“My friend! _Oh, thank Gods!_” Inigo emerges, panting heavily and with leaves sticking out all over his fur as he practically threw their caught rabbit towards the three. Thankfully, Rumarin caught it with a loud huff—he ain’t about to let their dinner get more battered than this. Wait up, Kaidan was supposed to be with Inigo. “Don’t tell me the swordsman got attacked?!” he raised.

“I-I think so-”

“What!? How far is he?” Candle protested, “I’ll get in there—”

“No, my friend! I don’t know how to explain it... It’s-, he’s acting weird.” Inigo explained, preventing the breton from leaving.

Rumarin let out a frustrated sigh, “I could already hear the big man grumbling for some reason...”

“Ehm... Well. About that. There’s this red light that struck him and he suddenly got really angry that I had to run away!”

“RED?” Lucien laughs nervously, “Surely the chances of the spell hitting him is—”

Another rustling sound grew louder and they shuddered at the heavy steps approaching their location. Out of the shadows of the thick forests comes a raging, screaming, brute out for blood.

Everyone shrieked and compressed behind you; The malignant glow in Kaidan’s eyes is the answer to where the frenzy spell landed.

“ACK! IT _IS_ A WILD ANIMAL!” Lucien screeched.

“So it was him I was actually hearing! What are the odds that he’ll break free off that spell? Oh wait, he won’t. Way to go, geniuses.”

“My friend, do something! Calm him down!”

You glance down at the calm spell you’ve been slowly conjuring up and at Kaidan who looks more than ready to break a lot of bones. It’s Kaidan. He’ll understand! He will, he will, he will, he.. might?—GOD DAMN IT.

Closing your fist, the spell fizzles out, earning your judgement quite the colorful reactions. “What, why are you not gonna use that on him!?” Rumarin jabs at you, still carrying the dead rabbits at his arm. “It’s Kaidan, what the hell are you saying!? Whatever spell you throw at him that is not healing makes him angrier and worse!” you snapped, barking orders in the following seconds before you all get smashed to Oblivion. “Inigo hide his sword somewhere! Hide _all_ weapons! Rumarin, you go with Lucien! For gods’ sake don’t drop our dinner!! ”

Lucien was panicking, and you were, too, so you went ahead and ran with them when Kaidan charges like a bloody minotaur, hungry to get his hands on someone or something and crush it to pieces.

“Sorry, Lucien, change of plans! Lesson’s about stamina building for now!”

“What does it take to have him settle down!” Rumarin yelled from behind a tree once you separated. “I don’t suppose we could just wait for the effect to wear off?” echoed the scholar somewhere and got a resonating ‘NO’ for an answer. “You want to play tag in this forest, are you kidding me?!” The high elf scolds once more; though it was more of a cry for help as Kaidan made him his target. “If there’s no money involved, I’m not participating in it!” he cries again.

Swiftly picking up where they are, you snuck around a tree and waited for Rumarin to pass before sweeping in a kick to stop the swordsman. It worked... but it _fucking_ hurt, as well! How dare you forget the fact that he’s wearing thick metal pieces while you’re legs only has the comfy underpants you used for sleep. You have the swordsman _and_ yourself writhing on the grass. Congratulations and thank you for your sacrifice.

You hopped and limped, trying to get away from a fully geared Kaidan, now seething from having been introduced to the dirt. “_Ow, ow, ow, ow,_ shit-, fuck!!”

_“Language!”_

A short prayer to be supplied with patience not to strangle whoever said that was sent above and the beast’s snarl hits your body like thunder, pumping your adrenaline to take you as far away from your swordsman. There’s no reasoning with a man who took all that spell. It should be weak and should wear off after a _few_ minutes but a few is enough for him to do some horrific damage. Damn, do they really have to take a stand against him?

“Hey!” Rumarin yelled at you to come to his hiding spot. Sprinting towards the high elf with blind trust, your feet jumped at the bush on its own when he barked for you to do so, realizing there’s a huge vine erected from the ground. Two seconds after, Kaidan appears and trips—_again_. Both of you were hopeful he’d be dazed enough to apprehend but once you got in range, Kaidan pulls himself up and shouts a string of curses at you, surprising Rumarin into slamming a conjured shield at his face and temporarily stunning him. Of course, you understand but “Why’d you do that?!” you screamed, immediately aiding Kaidan with healing magic.

“Wow, of all the things you’d suppress him with, you’re relying on this ‘he won't harm me because we're friends’ nonsense? Yes. Let's just ignore that he's completely under your frenzy spell. Let’s go!” he moans, dragging you away from the quickly recovering swordsman. “Where the bloody hell are we even going!”

“I don’t know but it’s definitely somewhere away from that guy!” you panted out, darting across the open field and behind the tree where Rumarin tied his hammock. Scanning the place, you spot a blue tail that is not so professionally hidden from under a giant pile of leaves. You crouched beside it and whispered, “Inigo, what in Kynareth’s name are you doing there!” “Hiding.” “_My bloody lord_, I can see half of your lower body!” you hissed and he reveals himself with Kaidan’s nodachi and bow. “What- Lucien told me it was perfect.”

“He’s not gonna snap out of it soon and I think trying to knock him out while he has his full armor on will only end up with us being the once getting knocked out.” Lucien whispers from inside a tall enough bush beside the khajiit.

“I am going to die either by an enraged oaf or heart attack, though I’m starting to lean on the latter.” Rumarin complained after stumbling back in terror and making a really, really embarrassing noise. Crap. Kaidan’s been alerted to this place. “Guys, I think he’s going here. Oh-ah, he is _certainly_ stomping here. Any plans?” Inigo murmured nervously. You took the rabbit from the bladebinder and tasked Lucien into looking out for it. Now the puffy bush looks like it killed a bunch of rabbits and is now holding it as a trophy with his arm sticking out like that.

“I’m going there. Rumarin, distance yourself and grab his attention when I’m getting overpowered.”

“Not sure about the second one but I’ll definitely do the first.” He salutes and runs off. Gods, of all times when Auri will be disappearing to get supplies. ‘_This world really hates me.’_ You internally groaned before shaking off the nerves. “Uhh, er, pay attention Lucien. Inigo will be telling you how I’m working around this fight.”

“I am..?” the wind carried Inigo’s unheard words, watching their companion face with their barbaric friend.

Seeing Kaidan glaring like you’re something he detests with a burning passion is somewhat intimidating. There are two options for you this time; grapple with him or run. You will most likely run in the end, no doubt. Just look at his build compared to yours! He doesn’t even need his armor to be able to bash your head in. _Oh gods, here he comes—_

“Kaidan, stop! Ah-!” you duck and rolled away when he swings at you with sheer anger. “I told you to stop fuckin’ around with magic!!” he roared, heading straight at you in full force. You suppose this is not the kind of ‘going-for-the-lass’ thing you’ve been hearing from ballads all the time. _‘Apparently, the illusion works perfectly on him since he’s already angry by being hit with it.’_ You grunt, trying to figure out where to land a hit that won’t backfire like earlier. Other than his head, his armor covers all the possible weak points—and you admit to laughing at his consistent preference for steel armors. _Who’s laughing now?_ However, he’s not completely invincible. There’s a few things you can exploit; his agility and the restrictions his gear weighs on his movements. Some spaces are also vulnerable; behind his knees, his thighs, his upper arm when he raises it to jab or swing. Gods, it feels all kinds of wrong to analyze your companion like this.

_ ‘Honestly, why are you hesitating so much? It wasn’t you who was in control back in the festival. Now he’s the one being controlled, he might want someone to smack him out of it.’_ You scolded your guilty self, having trouble with forming your resolve. At this rate, you’ll run out of breath first before he shakes the spell off. _‘Whatever. Here goes nothing—’_

Stopping on your tracks, you turned around and made an evasive spin when he was near enough to throw a punch at you. You grabbed his arm and hopped up on his back, expertly wrapping your legs around him and even surprising yourself with how easy that went accordingly—you were expecting him to be a bit more smart in his advances. Before the man could react, your right arm already snaked around his neck, looping it inside the other that’s quickly getting in position behind his head to keep him in a firm lock even when he’s struggling against it. Small whispers of apologies were recited for him as you keep the pressure. The unyielding urge to just wash him over with a calm spell arises but you bit it down. Call it illogical but you’re not going to cross his line twice.

“W-what, is she going to strangle him?” Lucien frets.

“No, my inexperienced friend. I think she’s demonstrating how you should jump on your enemy’s back to suppress them.”

“And tell them what..?”

Inigo blinked. He stared intently at Candle and sees her mouth moving. Ah, so that’s what the scholar meant.

“MY FRIEND, WHAT ARE YOU TELLING HIM?? LUCIEN AND I WANT TO KNOW...!”

_“SHUT UP!!”_

Inigo turned back to Lucien, “You tell them to shut up.” He balls his fist and Lucien copies.

The lad waggled the rabbits as if talking to a hostile person. “Sir, I mean—mister _bandit_...! You will shut up!” he huffed quietly. Inigo nodded with an approving smile. He is good at this instructor role. From afar, Rumarin could only stare in utter confusion as to why in Nirn there’s a fidgeting bush flinging their dinner around.

They watch them struggle with each other as Inigo chipped in bits of advises he could interpret from the lady’s actions. After almost a minute, the swordsman still hasn’t lost consciousness and she’s still straining on his back.

Inigo brought up his hands to call out. “DO YOU NEED HELP, MY FRIEND??”

_ “NO!! Hn—argh!”_

Distracted, Candle loosens her grip slightly and that little slip up was enough for Kaidan to reach up and toss her off.

“Oof. That definitely hurt.” Lucien cringes.

“Another rule is to not get distracted like her.” Says the khajiit, like he had no part in it at all. Kaidan staggers but successfully grabs her leg, resulting in both of them becoming a tangled mess on vines and dirt.

“Okay, trainee. Next thing is you kick your persecutor on the face like what she’s gonna do!”

“Right, oh! Candle missed-”

“Don’t copy the missing part.”

Rumarin muttered to himself, “Is it just me? What is with this crazy woman and her thing for getting into compromising positions with people.” He wished ‘compromising position’ meant something forgivably intimate but unfortunately, it means ‘might or might not accidentally break someone’s bones’ when it comes to his lady friend.

_“Alright, alright! I need help! I NEED HELP!”_  
Candle screamed once she got free, trying to keep Kaidan from grabbing her again or she’ll definitely receive more than just a bruise. W-was that his signal already? Rumarin jolted at her piercing voice, summoning a bow instantly.

Rage fogged the swordsman’s judgement. He knows he’s there underneath all the flooding anger. He can see them, see her. Why are they turning against him? Their stupid antics are only making him more enraged! It’s no use! He’s aware it’s a spell, but lashing out felt liberating. They’ll know; he’ll teach them the consequences of messing with magic—

“Come on, man. Enough!”

Candle grunted as she redirected an uppercut. Why is she so adamant on not using magic on him? He might hurt her. Gods, she’s making him furious! “This is your fault!” he sneered; the words had her lower her defense, granting him an opening which he took. The man easily backhands her arm, followed by a powerful punch which her left palm instinctively blocked and the sharp sound that came out of her is nothing short of anguished. Candle stumbles back—clearly the sharp edges of his gauntlets would cut through her skin but he didn’t see blood. Still, he should be proud of landing a hit on such a nimble enemy but... _What in fucking Oblivion is he doing!_ Why is he attacking her!?

_ Thunk!_

_ Thunk!_

Kaidan turns around to find an altmer too lazy to properly conceal his location, releasing flimsy shots at him just enough to get his attention. He’ll be sure to bash in that apologetic smirk on the bastard’s face when he’s done with-.. Where is she?

He had barely turned his head to the other side when he sees her spinning mid air to deliver him a spiral kick. Kaidan nearly falls over when her heel connects with his temple, effectively stunning him and gave him a bit of shock. She... definitely didn’t hold that one back. “Why you...”

“I what?” Now that sounds pissed.

Glaring up once his vision steadied, he is met with a woman bearing the same scowl he has. Slowly, she changes her footing, lowering the stance and raising her clenched fists near her face. Or at least that was the last he’d seen before he got mysteriously swarmed by _birds_. What the hell?

Taking advantage of the bizarre situation, you dash over him, raining punches and kicks in quick successions. He parries well despite being attacked by the forest creatures but you’re faster, lighter, and even though he has the upper hand in terms of stamina, you were able to land more hits than he could swat away. When an idiot doesn’t want to snap out of it, knock ‘em out.

“Sorry, Kai. I really can’t win against you alone.”

You strode back, putting all the weight on your foot before jumping to give him another kick in the face that’ll surely knock the lights out even for a man of his size. Kaidan’s heavy frame falls unconscious on the earth with a loud thud as the birds ceased their assault, flying free away from the commotion. Well. Guess you owe him an apology when he wakes up.

“You guys really love to have fun when I’m not around.”

Everyone turns their attention to a newly arrived Auri with Thistlefoot carrying fresh supplies from Falkreath. “I hope I get an explanation why there were screaming earlier. Commanding animals isn’t exactly as easy as whistling.” She crosses her arms.

In the end, both Kaidan and the woman laid beaten and bruised in a tent, unconscious and recovering. Lucien learned a lightning spell and how to use frenzy and some more in terms of hand to hand combat, thanks to the two of those energetic friends of his giving them a show. But the most important lesson they learned today is that Kaidan doesn’t take kindly to friendly fires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan: What's the matter? Scared of a little happy chapter?  
MC: .... I'm not overly fond of what follows.
> 
> ~~
> 
> It's an author's birthday speciaaal! ヽ(´▽｀)/ I'm celebrating indoors ofc lol we're also under curfew and lockdown (which doesn't affect my hermit lifestyle tbh 🤣)
> 
> Have some funny chapter! 💗 ( or.. At least I thought it was funny +u+;;)


	38. Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the disastrous training with Lucien, pesky trouble just keeps trailing around the swordsman. Whether that be holding a smooth conversation or long tiring walks under the summer heat or maybe even confusing friendship with attraction... Kaidan could really use a break.

**037**

**Dangerous**

Kaidan trudged on the frozen tundra of the Pale. He would’ve gotten a horse but those are expensive to maintain—he needed every septim he can get to make it to Pale Pass. Winter had been especially cruel this time of the year and they’re still a long way to Falkreath City’s walls.

“... Hm.” Kaidan looked back at his captive. The khajiit was heavily wounded during their confrontation but he seemed to be holding up. If this guy only didn’t have such a huge bounty in Falkreath, then... Nevermind. No use in doubting his decision. He’s gotta take care of his captive no matter what—he already lost one, and surrendering them dead would cut down the payment by more than half. He sure as hell didn’t track ‘em down for two months this far up North just to get a bag of less than four hundred Septims.

They set up camp in an abandoned cabin. The wind howls through the huge cracks in the walls and holes on the ceiling but it’s better than being out there during the night.

“Here.” He offered a roasted rabbit’s leg to the thief, or at least that’s all he knows about this one. He’d hauled this cat around for two weeks and he barely talks. The khajiit was rather obedient for someone who puts up one hell of a fight. So Kaidan, bored by peeling potatoes in silence, pops up a few questions to feed his curiosity.

“Oi. So you a thief, eh. What you stole?”

The captive didn’t answer at first but yielded when it saw the honesty in Kaidan’s eyes.

“Food,” he croaks a bit. “I stole food for my fa-... for my _acquaintance_. And sometimes money.”

“Pfft. Almost a thousand septims on your heads and it’s because of food?” Kaidan snorts. “I’m serious. I wouldn’t judge, you know.” He says, trailing the careful slices his little knife makes on the vegetable.

“And this one does not jest as well, swordsman. I constantly stole supplies from one merchant. The big fat man is cruel to the homeless when he has too much to spare for them.” The khajiit chewed on his share. His figure grew thinner in the passing days and he could barely lift his bound arms without trembling. He’s definitely seen better days.

“I see. But back on your accomplice.. Stealing to get by? You two couldn’t have just gotten a job? You could’ve made for a decent sellsword or even a bounty hunter like m’self.” Kaidan remarked. It was true; his back still ached from the hit it took from this person.

The khajiit lowered his head and started coughing. “Oi, are you alright?” Kaidan paused, seeing his captive enter a fit of labored hacking. Wait, what if he’s contracted a disease Kaidan didn’t know about? Quickly, he searches his sack, berating the khajiit on the side, “I bloody told you not to keep quiet if you’re feeling ill-”. The sound of a blunt item falling to the old wooden floor makes him stop.

Kaidan barely ducked out when he hears a step taken towards him. That’s just as he predicted. A heavy step before a spinning kick. The khajiit hits their camping equipment instead, only pausing long enough for the swordsman to stand up. The bounty hunter’s weapons are all scattered across the floor to the khajiit’s side. Damn it, did he just allowed this bastard to string him along?

“This one promised to tell you if I am sick, friend. That was just an act so technically, this one is still abiding by our agreement.” He says, shaking loose the rope he cut using the knife he swiped when Kaidan wasn’t looking. “Word of advice, you shouldn’t take your eyes off a thief.”

“My bad. I forgot you’re all actors as well.” He spat, raising his fists to accept the challenge.

The khajiit’s face split into a wide grin and flashed his fangs, “All part of the practice.” He confessed, raising his fists near his face and spreading his feet apart to lower his stance. A gust of wind rushes in and their fire danced wildly with it.

_ He’d seen this before._

As the khajiit prepared to attack him, Candle’s image merges with his aggressor.

Short charge.

Spinning mid-air.

Right foot on his head.

...

_ “Kaidan.”_

...

_ “Kaidan.”_

...

“Shor’s bones, don’t tell me you’re dead just from that fight yesterday.”

The swordsman’s eyes flutter open to his companion knelt beside him in a tent; holding up a cup of what he assumes is tea. Kaidan quickly props himself up to explain.

“Listen, back there—”

“No, that’s over with now. We’re... terribly sorry, too. Seriously. Go on, take this first.” She insists the cup on him. “Is it too hot?” She asked when he squinted upon taking a sip. The woman profusely apologizes and takes it back. He could feel renewed energy rush in, though. She must have fused it with some medical herbs from around.

“Why are you blowing? I’ve seen you use ice magic on beverages before. I won’t mind, so don’t torture yourself.” He granted her permission. Though he admits to nearly loathing her constant usage of magic, he’s not _that_ petty about something so trivial.

“Uhh.. I’m out of magicka for the time being.” She mutters, blowing gently on his drink.

“What? How? Did something happen while I was out?”

“N-no. It doesn’t matter, Kaidan. I just need more rest then I’ll be good.”

Kaidan wasn’t having it. He’d been hanging by her side long enough to know when she’s holding back information. Just then he remembers something whilst observing her.

“Oi. How are you moving that arm?” he points at her holding the cup with her left hand. She shrugs and reluctantly places the tea away. “I.. This-, o-obviously, I’ve healed already.” She waves both arms.

“That’s rubbish. Look, I ain’t boastin’ but I remember going at you with full strength, enough to break the bone of someone with your arm. And you did cry quite loudly at that. Let me see.”

“I’m fine, Kai. Really, look.” She slowly waves her arm around and even pulled the sleeves. No marks, no bruises. His initial instinct was to grab it but hers was to flinch away. “You’re hiding something.” He sighs exasperatedly.

“No-.. No it’s not that! The bones’ aren’t fully healed yet but I’m doing we—”

“So you admit to having a fracture. How the hell did you heal so fast in just a day? Our healing potions aren’t that strong.”

“...uhm. The tea?”

He silently stared at her dead in the eyes for more than a minute before she got uncomfortable under the pressuring attention. “You’re really persistent today, you know?” she whined quietly. “And you’re really bad at lying today.” He retorted. Candle scratches her head and poured herself some tea before scooting around to face him.

“I can heal myself again.” She sips and cuts him off before he can react, “Gods, don’t freak out! I was gonna tell you soon alright?”

Well, that was quite news. “Was this connected to that daedra?”

She nods, explaining that her curse was lifted when the daedra left her body. Also the reason why she’s out of magicka temporarily is her continuous efforts of healing her broken arm. “All day? Aren’t you an adept healer already?” he raises a brow which seems to suddenly put her off.

“Kaidan... I know you probably don’t mean to but you really sound like an ass just now.” She snapped. “_Sigh. _Finish your cup, I’ve mixed some healing ingredients there. I’ve tended on you long enough, so if you’ll excuse me.” She trails off, leaving Kaidan wildly confused by her reaction.

What. Wait. What did he say?

Striding past the tents, you ignore everyone’s call for dinner and retreated to yours. There’s a vial of magicka replenisher tucked away in your items; it should bring back enough. Finding and consuming the solution was easy and you slid your right hand up the arm that took Kaidan’s punch.

It still hurts a bit upon being pressed. A normal fracture would have this symptom for a few weeks and under a good healer’s guidance, it should take a few days down to hours depending on their mastery, but you know you could patch up your companions in minutes.

You gazed solemnly on your hand glowing with magicka.

Taking a deep breath you close your eyes and began the healing process. It’s all common, pushing healing energies out of your fingertips as easy as blinking and shaping it to focus on a single spot. For a short while it stayed like that, repairing your body slowly but steadily. _‘It’s too slow.’ _Releasing more, the warm surge of magic flowed in effortlessly but with it, comes a nightmarish sensation. Flashbacks of your skin turning pale and veins growing dark riddled your mind; the wound festering, itching and burning, infesting your bloodstream with elements that made your stomach churn—

Heavy pain flared behind your eyes and when you opened then, droplets of blood have stained your sleeve. You swiped your nose to find it bleeding and you froze for a second. Panic settled in your gut as you initially thought yourself poisoned but soon realized that you just hit your limit. The sting in your arm indicated that the fracture’s still not completely healed yet despite your attempt. Depleted once more, sheer frustration took its form in a wry chuckle.

“Some healer I am if I keep getting thrown off like that. Tss. _‘Adept’ _my ass.”

* * *

It took another week before they entered the Rift. Each day into the coming season makes it harder for them to travel at the height of the sun in spite of their minimal baggage, not to mention their horses tire much more quickly when they’re riding. In the end, the group traversed Skyrim on foot after having collectively decided to just toss over their items on their mounts. This way, the steeds will not be easily exhausted and the group can react faster and with more accuracy to emergencies. Of course, that meant covering shorter distances compared to when they’re on a horse’s back, but there’s always fresh game for them to replenish their strengths from, unlike these kind animals which require a much more specific diet and care.

Summer nights are most welcomed especially those spent outside of civilizations. The evening breeze is blessedly much cooler now that they’ve finished setting up for dinner. Inigo and Candle had been taking Lucien on short trips to teach him the basics of hunting, which the lad eagerly tries to learn despite his slow progress.

“That was some fine dinner.” Candle couldn’t help but voice that out after consuming her fill. Rumarin proudly puffs his chest, ears twitching in delight. “It is? I mean, of course it is! I can work well with dishes if I know the ingredients. The cookbook we picked up from the last bounty reward was really easy to understand. I never thought I’d be able to read a book for more than a few minutes in my whole life. I’ll usually see a sentence or three and then I’m done.” he claims. Well, other than conjuration skills, Rumarin does make for a decent cook. The high elf also seems enthusiastic about it. Maybe they can completely entrust him the role in the future as long as he keeps improving. That might also mean they’ll have to keep the compliments coming in.

While everyone’s consumed with energized talks of culinary practices and culture, the lady have quietly excused herself for the night. The others might’ve not noticed it but Kaidan clearly sees Candle distancing herself more and more. Either that or she’s avoiding him; he wasn’t sure since they haven’t really sat down for a chitchat ever since she walked out of his tent.

“Alright. I’m done for tonight.” Kaidan mutters, nodding at everyone around their pit fire that’s still brightly burning. Both elves are on watch tonight and since the other two won’t stop chattering about food or their previous clash with petty thieves, the swordsman thought it’d be the best time to check out. Entering his tent, he couldn’t help but send a fleeting glance at Candle’s place on the other side.

_‘She’s not in there...’ _ Kaidan thought twice about leaving her to her own devices but had also wanted to clear things between them. It’s already been long enough and he still couldn’t figure out what part of their conversation had possibly offended her but he could at least ask, right?

Arming his gauntlets once more, he quietly doubled back to her tent just to make sure she really isn’t there and stepped carefully past the bushes, following the trail leading down to a nearby river to pursue their drifter lady. Kaidan easily spots a moving figure behind a slope and knew it to be hers.

One would think that traveling with such a sneaky, reclusive person will make finding her an impossible task. That’s correct of course—by magic or by pure skill, she can move as quiet as needed be when she wants. But with them, she’s always unguarded—that’s what Kaidan thought at first. Turns out, she always wants to be found. From the very first day they were together she was always there within hearing distance, lurking around when she’s not included in conversations. She never strayed far, never left anyone behind. And when she wants to train, she’ll always be around; far enough to conceal her own noise and near enough to hear if she’s needed. He gladly placed his trust on her for she had more than earned it. Kaidan hasn’t felt that in a long time, not even from the burliest veteran hunters he’d teamed up with, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he knew everyone was starting to grow on him. _Candle especially. _She was the one he’s been with ever since their escape; despite the mystery shrouding her life and the differences in their perspectives, the woman never failed to prove herself worthy of his services.

_Services..._

That’s not really how she looks at him, does she now? Some goon for hire. Sure, they’re nowhere near chums like she and that cat but given all the time they spent together, the dangers they’d triumphed over, it’s safe to assume they’re more than just... More than _what_? They’re not strangers, and they’re not friends either. That kind of stuff is beyond him, or so he’d like to believe. After all, he likes her even when she’s vexing, but at this point in his life and after all that he did, is he still allowed to make friends? Real friends. Ones he can consider a kindred soul.

The musing swordsman was immediately alerted when he hears a tiny explosion followed by a quiet yelp.

He nearly lost his footing upon sliding down to where Candle is and-

_“Ah-crap! Sorry!”_ He exclaims when he sees her in the middle of wearing back her undershirt. Is she taking a bath this late at night? Wait, that’s not his business! But Auri was right about her having a really nice back—_hold up_, hold up, he’s-, yeah that’s already engraved in his mind. _But it doesn’t mean he should think about it!_

“Kaidan...!” She squeaks in equal surprise. He’s already walking away mumbling some inaudible apology when she finishes struggling with the garment out of panic. “Wait! Wait, it’s fine.” she beckons at him. The dark haired man turns around and struggle as he did, still took in the sight of her from head to toe. Twice. She really has a different glow under the moonlight. Could almost lie and tell him that she’s never killed anyone before and he’ll still believe her.

“Well? Why are you staring...?” Candle sends him a puzzled look.

“I-I didn’t see anything alright? And I wasn’t staring!”

“You are gawking just now.” she scoffed, shoving her hands in her pockets. “If you’re just checking on me, I’m good. I’m about to finish training in a short while.”

Oh. _Oh thank heavens. _She’s just training. Now he feels very stupid for some reason. “... and your shirt?”

Embarrassment cracks through her feature, eyes travelling to the body of water beside them and Kaidan sees a discarded vest laid atop some rocks. She clicks her tongue and shrugs, “I kinda... set myself on fire. _Hehe_.” she nervously chuckled. “I’m good! Fire didn’t catch me. It did some minor damage to my undershirt and the leather, though.” followed up the woman as she shows him the burn on the hem as proof.

Kaidan’s brows bounced at the confession. Foolish mages setting themselves alight ain’t news but this is his employer. If there’s one thing he can note from all her infuriating antics that involved magic, it’s that she never just _accidentally_ hurts herself with it.

“And what might be this rascal doing that led to such an unfavorable result?” Kaidan nodded at her with curious eyes and she read it like a book. “You wanted to watch? I’m not much of a performer, though.” she sheepishly tells him. “I’m not looking for a performance either. Just wanted to get away from those chatterboxes.” admits the swordsman which she returned with a gentle smile. “Nothing beats a story told beside a campfire.” The woman wears the extra tunic she was setting aside and ties both of her clothes’ hems behind her, probably to avoid catching fire another time, but Kaidan can see her waist now—_Wait, that’s not right._ Look away, Kaidan. Look somewhere else.

Silently leaning on a rock and watching her repeat some swings and kicks for a short while, he held the urge to voice out some thoughts about it. How it looks like it lacks reach or that her movements are too slow and light to be called an actual attack. That he can see more and more of her skin as her garment pulls up when she performs certain movements and her body’s really built judging by how formed her abdominal muscles are.

Candle’s brows knitted briefly, pulling up her clothes to get a good view of her abs. She might’ve acquired a burn she didn’t know about; why else would Kaidan be staring at it? “Er-… is there something.. _wrong_ with my body? Kai—why are you looking away??” She questioned the man scratching his jaw and looking utterly stupid. Crap, she forgot that they haven’t really talked that much since she started training extensively.

“N-nothing. Just…” Kaidan hesitates looking at her but did so after inhaling some air, “Was just thinking ‘bout Rumarin’s words before. You’re built for a mage.”

“Lots of mages are, actually.”

“We meant you’re outside the normal cut. We’re around the same age and you’re trained in both martial arts and magic.” The thing about mages is that they’re usually lanky since all they do is study or stand around, waving at things when working their magic. Some mages are trained physically but only enough for when they take a hit and still have stamina left to make an escape, while others might achieve what she is now at a much later stage in their lives. She is, as Lyanna claimed before, truly phenomenal. Of course there are those who are like her, but they rarely come by and if they do, they’re usually part of a military faction. “Why’d you kept pursuing magic anyway when you’re already excelling in honest combat?”

“You might not appreciate it, but I grew up in a society where magic isn’t shunned. In fact, it’s part of the lifestyle there. Even street beggars know a basic warmth spell for when it gets cold outside. Magic and anti-magic elements are seamlessly integrated within High Rock.” She reveals, taking a proper stance and clenching her fists, “It’s common for a kid to want to fit in. But I didn’t want to abandon my athletics. So after I got expelled, I did both even when it’s hard.”

“Cost you a normal childhood, though. Didn’t it?” Kaidan smugly replied.

The woman smirks back, taking a deep breath before starting a routine that’ll hopefully sway her spectator’s opinion. Her movements were much smoother and coordinated now, slow swings and gentle roundhouses. _‘Her moves are surprisingly choreographed.’ _The swordsman observed, looking at the timing in between spins and the steps taken. Twirling gracefully before ending her dancelike movements with the stance she started with, a spark of lightning snaked through her arms. _‘Magic…?’ _Kaidan’s eyes widened with intrigue.

Candle repeated the same movements, but with more force and every step is much more solid now, building up speed as she goes through the routine. Each swing looked like she’s slicing the wind with her lightning covered arms and she included additional steps while keeping the rhythm steady. With her front foot forward as the mark of the next loop, her breaths grew audibly short but the sharpness in her movement was no laughing matter. Her attack involved throwing the crackling magic along her punch, spinning forward twice and ending it with a spiral kick—but instead of a simple one, Kaidan clearly catches how she coats her shin with ice and dispels it just as fast once she strides backwards. The swings were no longer for show, she’s now using it as if holding a blade; right fist balled while the other releases a small burst of fire after every imaginary slash she makes. When the routine’s about to reach its end, her swift movements were foiled after she lands a roundhouse and released a fire that was too powerful, exploding in front of her and causing her to trip and fall on her back.

Well. That was oddly entertaining.

Kaidan quietly walks over to the panting creature and she gazes up at him with amusement. “Hey… _huff_… What do you say-” she heaves, “Wouldn’t trade that for a normal childhood. Never..” Candle laughs, completely exhausted and Kaidan snorts softly, joining her on the grass as they stargazed in mutual silence for minutes.

“What was that you were doing? If you don’t mind.” He asked first when her breathing finally paced slower.

“Improvising. Just some routine I was using to practice recently. Releasing a blast of magic is easy but draining. I wanted to develop a smarter method to incorporate magic into combat. Terribly hard as you just saw. I looked like a troll.”

“If trolls even moved anything closer to that, this world will be conquered by ‘em at an alarming rate.” Kaidan chortled quietly at the imagery.

“_Pfft._ Fair. But I still wasn’t fast enough. It might not show but I had tons of misstep and my form crumbled on my third loop.”

Kaidan looked at her in bemusement. That was unsatisfactory to her, really? Just how much of a perfectionist is she? Speaking of which, “That routine you were using. You seem familiar with it, but none of us ever saw you performing it until tonight.” Kaidan prodded. The woman glanced at him and quickly averted before he could return it. “It’s a dance. Traditionally performed in one of the shows at every Fire Festival. I was obsessed with it as a kid, so every year I would sneak into wherever they’re practicing and fumble around in the shadows.”

“Aye, that sounds like you.” The swordsman chuckled at her. It’s nice to finally hear her reveal some about herself. “Sneakin’ about and fumbling. Is that how the thieves at Cyrodiil found you?”

“Oh, that one’s a lengthy tale. If I can even remember it in the right order. But I’ll cut it short and sweet for my favorite brute.” She smirked upon hearing Kaidan scoff, “I helped one of them steal something which started our alliance. They were… good people. Despite their lifestyle.” Then she suddenly sat up frowning, prompting the swordsman prop on his elbows. “Even though my memories of them are currently foggy, they were nothing like the ones down at the sewers. They had honor. A code… _we_ had a code.” She bitterly spat. “That’s why I’m breaking my ties with them in Riften. I want to start fresh with Lyanna when she comes back, with you and everyone. They’re not the family I sought. I-I feel more secured with you guys.”

Her words fell in too fast yet sincerity seeped in each one of it and Kaidan was taken aback. “I-.. uh-” He didn’t expect the conversation to turn out like this. Certainly didn’t expect her to blurt out her feelings like that. “S-sorry. _Whew_. That’s weird for you, huh. I dissociate for several days and I’m suddenly like… this.” She waves off, shaking her head a little with a dry laugh escaping her. “Maybe I’m just over thinking about the guild lately. We should change the subject.” She gives him a briefs smile and he nods. “Uhm.. what about you?”

Kaidan raises a brow, “What about me?”

“You were telling me your story back in the ship…”

“Aye…?” wait, she’s not casting a spell on him now, is she? Those blue eyes of hers are screaming with curiosity now that he’d entertained her question. “Will you tell me more?” she mumbles, peeking at him from her shoulders. There’s no denying those pleading eyes now, is there? Seeing that she was more than honest with how she feels for them just a while ago, guess he owes her this one.

“Uh… Hmm. Right. It’s… nothing to be proud of but, considering they were _my _mistakes to make, perhaps I shouldn’t deny them.” His nose wrinkled, blinking at the sky and not knowing where to start so he’ll just jump on it, “I didn’t handle things well after Brynjar’s death and inherited some of his worse habits. The drink, the moon sugar… one day blurring into another.”

“Don’t tell me you went the same path as Inigo?”

He scoffs. Inigo didn’t succumb to blind ambition. “Worse. I fell in with what I thought was a band of outlaws, people like me—people who seemed to be born on the path of destruction and death.”

What is he even now? Whether he changed or he’s still the same barbaric killer was still unclear to him. At the very least, he knows he’ll never want to walk that way again.

“What were they?” The question had his heart pounding all of a sudden. Of course she’ll ask! What a bloody idiot he is for thinking she’ll just pass up on it. What will she think of him when she finds out his former allegiance to a faction worshipping the same Daedric Prince that the Mythic Dawn did—the very group that caused numerous tragedies in her life? Can he say it? Or will it be best to omit some things. Maybe, just maybe…

“It turned out to be some Daedric cult. I foolishly wanted a taste of that power… and I learned the price. I—I’m sorry. I really don’t want to-..”

“—It’s okay, Kai. Don’t. What matters is that you escaped it, right?” she insists with a sympathetic smile. Divines, she really is a lot like Inigo.

“A-aye … _ahem. _Yeah-, how I got free is a long and painful tale, one I shouldn’t burden you with.” He said, running a hand through his hair, “Now that I _am _free, I try to keep my eyes and mind on more earthly matters. One of the reasons I’m in Skyrim digging up my past.” Candle had been quietly nodding and listening with her eyes on the stars, but his hasn’t left her face for a while now. “I’ve learned that if you feel you have no place in the world, you must make one.”

This time he earns the woman’s attention. Gently regarding him, she spoke in a hushed tone, “You’re a very resilient man. That must be some tough stuff to open up about. I’m sorry for what you went through…”

Chuckle is the last he’d expect himself to respond with but he did. “I’m not.” He might be smiling without his knowledge now, but he couldn’t care less. Her kind words sprinkled him with cheer that he was powerless to stop. Even her confused smile right now is just as contagious.

“Oh? Why is that?”

“Because... It set me on the path that met with yours.” Kaidan leaned forward, leveling his gaze with hers as their shoulders brushed. “How can I be sorry for myself, when I’m so grateful for that?” The air between them has suddenly turned electric, for him at least—sitting this close to her is making him jittery. He had wondered if she’s feeling the same but her not turning or flinching away gave him the impression that there was nothing wrong with their current distance.

Instead she held down his stare, searching for any form of jest but search all she might, she’ll find no trace of deception. He meant _every _word. He’s bloody thankful for her companionship.

“I.. I didn’t knew you cared so much.” Her voice was soft—almost reduced to a whisper, but the warmth of her expression could melt him any moment now. “I’m glad to have met you, too.”

It’s always like this with her. They can stop talking to each other for weeks or even months and once he engages a conversation with her, his mouth will still pour out words and stories he’d never be comfortable to share to anyone else. That’s what she is to him—a strange exception. _‘The strangest one, for sure.’_ She’s not even trying to talk her way to get him to open up when he declines but maybe that’s exactly why he finds her the easiest person to talk to about these parts of his life.

Candle’s attitude towards them is never short of understanding and patient. That and the calming presence she carries around is a spark of light persisting through these times of strife. Her cool headedness and passive nature is something he doesn’t have, never will, but he likes that. Since when was of little matter.

Kaidan nudged her shoulder gently and they broke into sheepish grins, “Well… It’s been a long time since I’ve met somebody I can trust this much.”

“Sure, I’m not pressured at all.” She laughed. “I’ll do my best not to let you down-” the words were cut off when Kaidan places a hand on her head.

“Try not to sell yourself short. You’re better than that.” Lectures the red eyed man. “You know... Inigo and Auri definitely rubbed off on you.” She responds shyly as her beaming is slowly replaced by a nervous one.

Kaidan didn’t answer and she stayed her breath.

Something about him was always so hard to read, especially when he’s this quiet. It’s not as intimidating as before but it upheld the same intensity. It’s ridiculously fitting, honestly speaking. As they grow to know each other more, Candle finds herself looking up to him. His bravery, tenacity, determination—just few of the many things about him that she respects and aspire to be if the universe ever allows it. She regarded him with unspoken admiration… never having the slightest clue that Kaidan finds her just as enigmatic.

A second was too slow and too fast at the same.

Surely it wasn’t even a minute since but time became distorted the moment he laid eyes on hers. Oh, how she returned them with such gravity. Does she even know he’d rested his hand on her shoulders?

_ Anxiousness?_

_ Curiosity?_

_ Excitement?_

What’s that flickering beneath those ocean eyes?

He felt a rush; a sudden desire to find out in this surreal moment.

Kaidan couldn’t place where this tension is taking him.

One second, she gulps and catches how fast Kaidan drops his gaze to her lips.

This is…

_“My friend? Kaidan, have you seen Candle!”_

Inigo’s loud cry shatters whatever invisible force is coiling around them and Candle scrambles up on her feet, obviously flustered. If she even takes a step closer, Kaidan will surely hear her heartbeat… or maybe that was his. With neither knowing how to respond or explain what that was just now, both ferociously avoided each others’ eyes lest it doubles the red that took over their faces.

“That, I..”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t-.. I-I don’t know… That was.. that was awkward. You alright?” Candle beats him to it again. Actually she beats anyone in terms of apologizing; floundering as she picks up her tossed leather and just laughing the embarrassment off. “Yeah, Candle—” “It’s _fine_. That was just weird, haha. Oh goodness, maybe we’re just tired, y’know. Travel and this heat. It’s cool! So….” She made an exploding gesture with her hand before waving him goodbye.

Kaidan waited until he couldn’t hear them anymore before slumping back on the grass. He let his hands run through his face, knowing full well that no amount of rubbing it furiously will undo the fact that he’d allowed himself to get carried away back there.

_‘What was I thinking!? Oblivion’s sake I almost…’_

Those eyes, those lips…

_‘…almost.’_

Fuck. That was dangerous.

* * *

  
  
Need a recap of the last chapter? I got you.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual tension? Nah, we going with the awkward stuff. XD On that note, this is just my interpretation of Kaidan (who's been a lone wolf for a long time) totally mixing feelings of friendship with physical attraction (being that it's the only thing he knows so far) especially with an MC that is really chill with platonic intimacy. HE DOES REALIZE HE'S PROBABLY CONFUSING IT IN THE END, DON'T WORRY FOLKS!
> 
> Do let me know your thoughts? X'D This is an interpretation of one brain cell so garnering others' constructive opinions and insights are most welcomed!!
> 
> ~~
> 
> aaaand I'm back! XD Lucien has been updated with more names and idle commentaries! Also why this chapter got delayed two days aaaahhh Do visit the mod page!!
> 
> ~~
> 
> writing this chapter, I have been yelling at my screen in my highest pitch "whAT the fRICK. HEY KAIDAN WHAT THE FRICK--" while //cackling// really hard at the same time


	39. Speaking with Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving at Riften, you decided to do something out of charity for once. It's not like you can stomach the guild falling apart in spite of them being no better than bullies and thugs. You'll find that you always have a soft spot for thieves... and maybe as you recall more of your past, you'll understand why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Quest related dialogue! But I couldn't skip it. This is the juciest part of the questline!

**Chapter 038**

** Speaking with Silence **

“So...”

Everyone gathered around the crow which is neither animal nor tangible for that matter. Also, what’s up with the rolled parchment on its beak?

“Anyone gonna tell me what it is?” Rumarin crosses his arm, clearly bemused by the lack of response from his companions who are just gawking at the said creature.

“It resembles a spirit.” said the bosmer.

“Animals have souls?”

“This isn’t an animal, my dear Lucien.” she points, “Look, it’s shrouded with magic.”

Lucien nods with a lengthy “ooh” and tried to reach for the paper it has but flapped away, finding its new throne on top of their lady boss’ tent.

Just when they’re about to conduct a plan to seize it, Candle finally arrives with Inigo. “Guys, don’t! It’s safe.” She thanked Inigo for calling her and skipped the distance within a few breaths, then held out a palm glowing with magicka on the creature. It instantly dropped the tiny parchment which her other hand caught. “If you want to use your remaining time here, then fly away. If not, hop on.” instructed the woman. The crow flies away and her hand dims down.

“Intriguing! What is it?” Lucien stepped behind the woman to get a peek. She more than willingly shared about it being a conjured courier, something she and her people developed after escaping High Rock and living in the wilds. “Lyanna’s mother is a genius when it came to bindings. Summoning a weak daedra and turning it to a courier animal made for an easy communication when we’re apart. After it delivers, we unbind the daedra, giving it the choice to roam Tamriel until it expires or be sent back to Oblivion.” and she follows up pretty quickly after seeing Rumarin’s brow pulling up “N-no. It won’t do harm in that weak form. It only has about a minute or two after being unbound. Never failed to work like a charm.”

And with that covered, she opens the letter. Whatever its content must be the best news she had received so far, for it brought forth a hopeful smile and a lively spark in her eyes. “It’s from Lyanna,” she beams, just as Kaidan makes an appearance, “Kaidan, look. She wrote back!” she giddily informs. Oh, right. She tells everyone with haste that Lyanna sent word from Cyrodiil just a few days ago which she returned eagerly.

Word is, the vigilant finally arrived in their headquarters, which she still refuses to mention, and has reunited with her mentor. Other than the usual pleasantries, she gladly informs them that her request of permanent leave has been granted and she’ll be free to return to her mistress’ side once they wrap up the case handled by their squad. The letter didn’t disclose much about the assignment other than it’s a case of mild possession and estate haunting. Things are looking up for both her and Candle.

“I can’t wait...” Their lady companion contained her smile but failed to hold back the glisten showing in her eyes. “We should hurry to Riften right away.”

Everyone was glad with the news. Lyanna, with all her deafening silence, was with them just a short while but she’s always going to be a welcome addition to their rowdy group. Apart from that, she’s the only person reminding Candle of her original family—they’ve never seen their sneaky friend so bright eyed ever since the Festival.

* * *

The Bee and Barb was less suffocating after dinner hours and you and Brynjolf agreed to meet by this time. Inigo and Lucien were showing merriment upon returning to the city, Auri and Lucien less so. And while Kaidan acquainted himself with the argonian couple’s specialty drinks, you... you eyed your empty mug with immense fury like you’d burn a hole through it. The tapping on the wood table grew more and more impatient as Brynjolf took his time putting you up to speed, telling you all the nonsense that transpired and that which stretched along the _whole bloody time _you are away from Riften.

“What do you mean I’m coming along?” You protested against Brynjolf, effectively throwing away all enthusiasm and politeness out the window. “I did my previous job smoothly, delivered what Mercer needed without a hitch, and you’re telling me this hasn’t been tackled yet until I arrived?!” you nearly slammed your fist on the table which obviously catches the swordsman’s attention. An exhale and a small gesture, Kaidan nods and remains seated.

“Lass, listen to me. Calm down. I understand very well you’re upset about all of this.” ‘Upset’ doesn’t even begin to describe how infuriated you are right now. “The information you acquired is _everything. _That person in your note is most dangerous. Hadn’t we found out sooner, she’d surely get her revenge on the guildmaster, and us with it without anyone knowing what hit us. The guild owes you that—”

“So allow me to formally resign.” you gritted.

“—but Mercer just left. He wasn’t there when your note arrived. I believe he set out for a heist which he just returned from a few days ago. Of course, we were about to do the investigation together but plans changed when word of your arrival came.” he simply stated unfazed by your foul temper. Is it so difficult? They just have to approve you leaving, fucking simple as that. The priestess in the local Temple is roaming free despite her previous ties with them—why can’t they just allow you the same option? “Brynjolf, please... Can’t I just pass on this?” You pleaded bitterly. Your mentor looked about like he’d already debated this same issue with Mercer and failed.

His lip presses firmly, lines forming on his forehead as he looks away with worry-stained eyes. “Lass, I’m so sorry. I went through this with Mercer over and over to the point that he’d blown up on me. Bottom line is I still have to follow Mercer’s instructions. Without me handling things here, the contracts will have to stop until then. Our guild is only alive because of our contracts. Some of the members won’t have anything to eat if they can’t earn anything.” he reasoned, “Your presence makes a huge difference, whether you embrace it or not. You’re our next best shot—Mercer may not show it but he believes that. Besides, you’ll have nothing to worry about with Mercer as your partner. You might even pick up a thing or two if it comes down to you guys confronting Karliah.”

“Confronting?”

“I.. Lass, it’s better if you wait for Mercer to explain this to you. You deserve that much.” He sighs. Wait, he invited _who_ to come along without telling you? What kind of intrusion is this? _‘I mean, of course he can! It’s a guild emergency but-.. argh! I’m just so furious right now!’ _Curse inwardly all you want, you know deep within, a part of you doesn’t want to leave these thugs in the dust. Not all of them are what they seem like.

* * *

**_4E 188, Imperial City, Cyrodiil..._ **

“Good thieves? That’s... a thing?” You swung your legs, trying to see your feet under the large silk dress. Waterfront District didn’t seem as unfriendly or repulsive as those outside of it claimed. Mother and father must be really busy to not notice when you’ve slipped out here. No matter, you’ll be back as soon as you bid this friend of yours goodbye.

A khajiit tosses a rock at the lake. “Do you think this one is a bad person, kid?”

You tilt your head to look at him. “No. I don’t think so. But don’t call me a kid. We’re roughly the same age.”

“Thirteen is still considered being a kid.”

“And sixteen doesn’t make you an adult.”

Your new friend laughed. “This one grants a stranger one question and you ask me of my age. I still can’t believe you.”

“What? I was really curious. I don’t see a lot of young khajiits in Daggerfall.” You don’t see a lot of people in general as you decide to always bolt back to your mansion after classes and study magic, but he doesn’t need to know that. The hooded person throws the large bag of coin at your lap. Its weight has been reduced by half. Glancing up, you find him baring his fangs as he flashed a wide grin. “Don’t look at me like that. This one knows how to share. You knew as well, didn’t you? That man’s stolen wealth needs to go back to the people.”

This little hairy thief eyes you with fondness. Sure, you saw him sneaking around the merchant’s belongings, but the big guy was being cruel to the beggars and abusing his power. Furry face was visibly delighted, surprised but delighted nonetheless, when you stepped in to get the merchant’s attention while he works with the chest on the wagon. Yeah, he is good and he is a thief as well. Maybe some people do mean well, even if they have to dirty their hands for it.

“Look, _fellow kid_, my parents are healers so I don’t know nor do I care about his ways of accumulating wealth. But I wouldn’t side with the guy who kicks other people’s children when all they want is some spare for food.” You walked right up to him and handed back your share of money. “This needs to go back to the people.”

The khajiit’s smile is gone but his eyes were wide in awe. He reaches, but instead grabs your wrist. “What’s your name, my lady?”

“Rozenn. House Emberheart. Good to meet you.”

“Likewise. Maybe we’ll meet again on better situations.”

“Are you joking? What we did is going in my definition of a good time.”

He smirks and takes the bag. “Hey, what’s your name?” You called before he turned around. “I’d tell you, but you’re no part of the Guild. But we can do something about that.” laughs the cat and you bid each other farewell with a smile.

_“....shadow hide you.”_

“—kid. Are we clear?”

Mercer’s rough voice seeps into your ears and you dart your eyes up to meet his. Ah, he had been here for a while. The gruff man has been explaining what the position of the guild is against this Karliah. “She’s someone I hoped to never cross paths again.” he sighed, “She must be stopped.”

Brynjolf nods, “I’ll do my best to assist with whatever details you two need in tracking her down.” the two of them went on to discuss nearly every contact they have active and all the possible places they could prioritize with the search. Mercer is being himself but... he really does sound like he wants to protect the guild. It awfully resembles a person desperately trying to keep their remaining family from completely falling apart.

“Gulum-Ei...” you butted in, silencing both men, “Gulum-Ei mentioned asking her destination. She only said “Where the end began” and neither of us could make anything of it.”

“Where the end began...” Guildmaster familiarizes himself with each word. “There's only one place that could be. The place where she murdered Gallus... Snowveil Sanctum.”

“Gallus? The previous guildmaster you spoke of?” You asked your mentor and he glances at Mercer, seemingly giving him the responsibility of revealing this sensitive information. “Karliah destroyed everything the guild stood for.” He started, “She murdered my predecessor in cold blood and betrayed the guild. After we discovered what she’d done, we spent months trying to track her down, but she just vanished.”

Your brows knitted upon knowing. “Why would she do that?”

“None of us got a chance to know. But now she’s back for us. Trust me, kid. Karliah and I were like partners. I went with her on every heist. We watched each other’s backs. I know her techniques, her skills. If she kills me, there’ll be no one left who can possibly catch her.” Mr. Frey emphasized the enemy’s intent to kill. _‘There’s no way of proving things but if that’s where everyone is now, that means you might be included in the list of targets as well—especially since you’re the one who went after her trail.’ _Your inner thoughts continued to connect the things Mercer Frey wouldn’t say out loud.

“If what you heard is right, that’s the only place I can think of. We have to go out there before she disappears again.”

“Uh-, Do I really—”

“Yes. You do. We need you _now _more than ever. Together we're going to kill her. And before I forget...” Guildmaster takes out two pouches of gold as agreed. “Here's your payment for Solitude. Prepare yourself and meet me at the stables tomorrow morning and _NO, _you can’t bring anyone of your friends unless you want them murdered ‘cos chances are, Karliah won’t hesitate to do so. We can't let her slip through our fingers.”

After the master thief left, your mentor went back to pay for the night’s round and wish you good luck. “Brynjolf, wait.” You tug at his arm. “Karliah’s coming. If we’re too late.. my companions. Can you make sure she gets no trace of my ties with them?”

A nod and a fleeting glance at Kaidan. “That I can do, lass. Be careful out there.”

With all of that dragged out in the light, you have little choice but to accept with an obedient nod. The other option will be most likely to protest and still end up following orders. Enter the good news, they said that should this mission succeed with both of you alive and well, they’ll happily let you off if you still desire it in the aftermath. You could only meet Kaidan’s stare with a heavy heart as you plan your next course. It was time to reunite with the others and tell them the news.

* * *

“How long will you be gone?” Lucien yawned, rubbing his eyes as he pulls up in a sitting position. Candle had silently woke him up and told them she has to depart the city alone. Inigo already being up and about tells that he’s already been updated.

“Did something happen?” A soft smile and a warm hug. That’s all he’ll get for an explanation. “Just helping some folk save his family. It’s a stealth mission.” you grin and the imperial lad beams back at the lady sitting by his bedside. “I suppose you’re the best person for the job, n-no offense Inigo.” the khajiit chuckles sleepily and waves him off. “I haven’t tested the sphere’s range yet but father told me it’s got a wide reach. Either way, you keep the sphere close to you and use it if you can, alright?” Spoken like a worried parent. You chuckled, bringing out your pinky, “I promise to come back alive.” you said. Lucien smiles brightly, and Divines strike you with lightning if it isn’t the most adorable one you’ve seen. “Pinky promises. My favorite.” his shoulder shook as quiet giggles fills up the both of you with your pinkies linked together.

Just then, you sense someone peeking by the door. Kaidan hastily averted his eyes when you turn your head towards his direction. He looked rather uncomfortable. Is it because you’re leaving? Quickly wrapping up your goodbyes with Lucien, you gave Inigo the hug he deserves for going with you throughout all this trouble.

“Go clean that notice board while I’m gone, yeah? And don’t teach Lucien bad things.”

“That depends on the situation at hand. A bad thing might save his or people’s lives. He he.”

You grinned widely, patting each other’s backs before letting go. “Alright, instructor Inigo.”

Rumarin shrugged it off but he was visibly annoyed by the fact he can’t tag along. “You’re so not leaving me with this monstrous roommate.” Were his words. “I don’t suppose you’ll prefer Inigo’s fleas over a quiet guy like Kaidan?” Needless to say, he retracted his earlier request. Stubborn as he is, your altmer companion did quite hold on a little longer when you embraced him. If it weren’t for Kaidan clearing his throat, you’re quite sure you’ll be standing long enough for Mercer to pick you up himself.

“You really can’t bring anyone? You don’t find that suspicious?” Kaidan whispered barely audibly. You gave Rumarin a pat and beckoned Kaidan to follow you. “I need to talk to you and Auri.”

Entering your room, Auri greets you with a sweet smile, having finished preparing your things for the journey. “Auri you didn’t have to.” but your heart fluttered at the gesture nonetheless. You closed the door behind you three and made sure no one outside can ever hear.

“This is my last assignment. I... I couldn’t say no.”

“That’s horseshite.” Kaidan fumed and Auri had a similar, albeit calmer reaction. “You know he doesn’t like you. No way he’s trusting you with this. Something’s not right about that guy.”

An exhausted sigh. “I _know_. I can’t say no, still. Karliah is hunting _every_ member because of Mercer Frey’s screw up. Me included. This has to stop, and then I’ll deal with whatever comes after.” You searched your items of a certain warhorn and handed it back to Kaidan. “Here. Where I’m going is far north according to Guildmaster. You could use it while I’m gone. Oh-.. Guys please.. Don’t look at me like that. I’m sure I’ll be able to defend myself if this turns out to be some kind of ruse.”

Auri just looked as unconvinced as Kaidan. “And if it did turn out like that?”

Not even you knew what to say. You really haven’t planned that far yet. But if the situation became reality and Mercer throws you under the wagon... “I don’t know. But you people best have your packs ready for leaving. Just in case.”

* * *

The first few days were filled with uncomfortable silence. Or at least for you. You’re not used to this. Mr. Frey does nothing else during the night but shove his nose on some book, probably business related, and tutor you on your combat skills. What to expect, when and where to dodge from a ranged assassin like Karliah. Not that it’s a problem, it just feels like he’s constantly undermining you. Why the hell did he brought you if he didn’t feel confident about your skills? You can never level with someone as prideful as Mercer Frey but eventually, you got him to play your game.

The Sanctum’s half a day away but night time has befallen over Skyrim—also the snow’s bloody persistent in spite of this summer and your mounts are tired. Vampires and predators could be lurking about. Vampires; ugh, creepiest of them all even when you haven’t encountered one up close. Oh right, back when you were fetching Kaidan and Inigo might count as one. “Tell me more about Karliah.” You started.

Mercer studies you briefly but concedes. “She was a stubborn dunmer... always had to do everything her way. But she was the best... bringing in more coin a month than some thieves heist in a year. You two have a knack for outperforming your comrades. Gallus trusted her too much and I let her get too close.”

“Close? They’re in a relationship, you mean?” The way he described it, you couldn’t help but pry.

“If you want to call it that, yes. Me? I think she was softening him for the kill.” Guildmaster Frey grimaced, “Gallus would call her his _‘Little Nightingale’_. He was absolutely smitten by her.” he spat like every word disgusted him. But the question stands. “If they were lovers, why would she kill him?”

Mercer Frey scratches his jaw, giving it some thought. That or he’s annoyed by all these questions. The line in between gets more and more vague. “I thought I’d answered this question before, kid. Who’s to say? Greed? Jealousy? Spite? Who can say what drove her to such an iniquitous act. One thing's certain. I intend to find out before she draws her last breath.” His scoffed at the end of his point.

“Woah. Isn't murder Dark Brotherhood territory?”

“I didn’t take you for such an insufferable chatterbox. But I’m going to answer so you’d at least know how we work things inside the guild. I have a long-standing arrangement with the Dark Brotherhood. If I need someone in the Guild taken care of, we do it ourselves. We both agree it's best to keep these matters _in house_.”

* * *

Finally at the Sanctum, Mercer beckons for you to take the lead after having opened the gate and scouted the area, killing a horse that he highly suspects to belong to Karliah. You, taking the lead when he’s the one with _more _experience? “Why me?”

“I'm sorry, I was under the impression I was in charge.” he growls. “You're leading and I'm following. Does that seem clear to you? Just make sure you keep your eyes open. Karliah is as sharp as a blade. The last thing I need is you blundering into a trap and warning her that we're here.” Lengthy way to say he wanted a meat shield. Damn it, Brynjolf would have been such a poor bastard if he was the one Mercer hauled in this spine chilling ruin. Absolutely will scare away the joy from your companions had they tagged along.

“How did Gallus die?” Apologies in advance, guildmaster. The eerie silence in this place is unbearable.

Mercer exhaled gruffly through his nose but made sure the hall’s secured enough for a chitchat anyway. “Twenty-five years ago I was standing outside these very same ruins. Gallus told me to meet here but he wouldn't say why. When I arrived, Gallus stepped from the shadows. Before he uttered a sound an arrow pierced his throat. Before I could even draw my blade, her second arrow found its mark in my chest.”

“So Karliah took on both of you alone?”

“Karliah was a master marksman and her greatest weapon was the element of surprise. I was lucky... she missed my heart by mere inches. I staggered away from the ruins and my vision began to blur. It's then that I realized the bitch had poisoned her arrows.”

It took a few more minutes of killing every single draugr as quietly as possible before you found your breath. Good heavens, these bones are hard to look at. “And Gallus?”

“That curious huh? Well, the last thing I saw was Karliah dumping his body into an opening atop the ruins; an unceremonious end for a remarkable man. To this day I've regretted allowing her to escape, even if it meant I had died trying.” are you dreaming? Is that regret in Mercer Frey’s tone? “I owed Gallus that much.” he said solemnly.

By the time you’ve nearly reached the main chamber, you were already at the peak of your paranoia with all the traps you two had to disable and the undead jumping at every corner. He had also finished explaining how Gallus’ death catalyzed the Ratway into a bloodbath for those hellbent of becoming the next Guildmaster. With his perseverance, he managed to win the title but by then, the guild’s already reached rock bottom. Mercer claims that he was the only one who cared to hunt down Karliah and bring her to justice but due to most of the thieves busy with the infighting, the dunmer earned enough time to cover her tracks. With this information, it became less confusing as to why Mercer’s this strict when it comes to rules and guild methods. Or... at least you’d like to believe. It’s hard to trust a stranger’s words but you can at least sympathize. Most of the guild officers were there to witness the downfall of their haven—Vex even mentioned it to you at some point before.

At the puzzle doors of the main chamber, Mercer takes charge, “Ah, it's one of the infamous Nordic puzzle doors. How quaint. Without the matching claw, they're normally impossible to open. And since I'm certain Karliah already did away with it, we're on our own.” He put in as a matter-of-factly as he picked on it with some strange looking thin artifact. “Fortunately, these doors have a weakness if you know how to exploit it. Quite simple, really.”

And just like magic, the puzzle doors were no more complex than Belethor’s front doors. Little did you know that your first proper step into a Nordic Ruin would lead you to getting swirled in this sea of murderous drama that you wanted no part of. Two steps and a half. That’s it. Something hits you but you couldn’t place where with how fast your body is numbing. All you know is you went limp on the floor and Mercer didn’t give a shit.

Guild matters are to be handled ‘in house’. Pah!

He revealed a lot, you’ll give him that.

Except for the fucking fact that he wanted you 'taken care’ of as well!

_‘Summer. The season where everyone goes out to enjoy in the brightest season of the year. What a load of bullcrap. I do one thing, ONE THING that I believe is morally right and I get slapped here on the ground like some wet rag.’ _Your internal ravings were cut short when your bruised and paralyzed body takes a hit from Mercer’s kick. How fucking rude; can’t he just take a step to the side if you’re blocking the way?

Mercer Frey scoffs at someone in the shadows. “Do you honestly think your arrow will reach me before my blade finds your heart?”

“Give me a reason to try.” The figure growled back. A woman.

“You're a clever girl, Karliah. Buying Goldenglow Estate and funding Honningbrew Meadery was inspired.” Well, well, it’s really Karliah. Why are you not surprised?

“_“To ensure an enemy's defeat, you must first undermine his allies.”_ It was the first lesson Gallus taught us.” she said wryly. You could almost make out Mercer’s face screwing up in hatred. “You always were a quick study.”

“Not quick enough, otherwise Gallus would still be alive.”

What? What is she saying? Could it be all this time, Mercer is the—

“Gallus had his wealth and he had you. All he had to do was look the other way.” Mercer sneered.

The woman steps out of the darkness with her arrow drawn. “Did you forget your oath we took as Nightingales? Did you expect him to simply ignore your methods?” Her words were calm but somewhere inside is a boiling fury waiting to lash out. “Enough of all this mindless banter!” Guildmaster Frey yells, pointing his blade at her. “Come on, Karliah. It's time for you and Gallus to become reunited!”

“I'm no fool, Mercer. Crossing blades with you would be a death sentence. But I can promise the next time we meet, it will be your undoing.” Venom dripped from her voice as she shrouds herself in the dark again, completely disappearing. With her gone, tears pricked the corners of your eyes. This is how it easily ends for you? The shadow of a traitorous man looms over you and he brandishes his blade. “How interesting. It appears Gallus' history has repeated itself. Karliah has provided me with the means to be rid of you, and this ancient tomb becomes your final resting place. But do you know what intrigues me the most? The fact that this was all possible because of you. Farewell.” his face splits in a vile grin. “I'll be certain to give Brynjolf your regards.”

_ ‘I should’ve listened to them! I should’ve listened to my gut. I...!’ _These thoughts won’t change anything. A small sting surges through as Mercer digs in his sword on your numb figure. With no help around, you spent the remaining seconds of your life praying to any higher power out there to keep Marie and your companions safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> April fools! You know what that means... *drum rolls*
> 
> SIKE! YOU DON'T BEFALL THE NOT-ALIVE YET! But you guys already know that. owo Your companions don't, however. Alexa, play the war music! jk, stay safe indoors and wash your hands XD


	40. Unveiled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under Karliah's care, it was easy for some memories to keep popping back. Meanwhile your friends finally take a step to come to your aid... but at the cost of disbanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor headcanons to fit with the story! :D Cyrodiil TG is active and Gray Fox is still there!

** 039 **

** Unveiled **

** _Morning Star 4E 189, Imperial City, Cyrodiil..._ **

** **

Childish laughter erupted as a group of teens ran through the alleys, leading the others and ushering them to come hurry up the balcony. Climbing through walls and fences and helping each other in obstacles until they reach the Waterfront, this kind of scene is but a common activity to them. Reaching an old but enduring place, they settled quickly.

“_Haa.. _Do you people have.. _pant.. pant.. _no need for breathing?” Marie groaned, breath hitching from thrill and exhaustion. You told her that amount of layer on her garb will hinder a lot of movements, but big sis insisted on wearing an armor. “Well, we’re here aren’t we,” you laughed out, sliding out a weathered stool from an even worn down table. They should think about refurnishing once they got enough savings. “Breathe as much as you want, sis.”

“That’s rich coming from the one heaving like a drowned man.” The khajiit puffs out.

Another burst of cackling until everyone gets reduced to stitches. “Tappy! I don’t sound like that! You do!” you roared in tears and the mischievous thief defends himself from your playful slaps. Gosh, this hurts so good. A warm hand tenderly rubs your back to help you calm down. Glancing up, a fine pair of green pupils and the brightest of smiles stun you momentarily.

“Marco...” you mumbled shyly. He honestly looks so good in any suit and color. You especially adore the way his brown hair is gathered neatly to a side ponytail.

“You might kill yourself laughing like that, my lady.” his caring words and soothing voice cools down the fire in your lungs. Funny how Marie’s younger twin always manages to make your heart skip with just about anything he does.

“That would be a nice death. A well earned one, too.” Your silly cat friend called Tappy, much to his disdain, noted. “You got the ring?” asked Marie. She reaches out for her flask and passed it onto Marco after gulping her fill. Tappy takes off his hood, dark mane disheveled from the trip, and grins as he takes out a golden ring adorned with tiny precious gems. “This needs to be taken back to that family. I hope they’re still around.” the khajiit studies the jewelry. “I’m sure they are. But it would be best to tell them to wait. Giving their heirloom back while the merchant is still in the city might backfire to them if they’re found with the ring.” Marco suggested, “Once they’re clear from suspicion, that’s when we return the item. Besides, we did everything to make it look like a burglary, right?”

Tappy gave him a satisfied smile. “I can see why the guild master likes you and Rozenn. You both play this game like naturals. What can you say about that, lady Marie?” a wicked grin nodded towards the breton servant causing her to roll her eyes.

“I’ll turn a blind eye to our mistress’ actions as long as it’s for a good cause.” She turns away. But everyone knew she enjoyed it as much as everyone did. She’s been turning a blind eye for months now. You may not be an official member of the Thieves’ Guild but the three of you always helped around with their activities ever since you met Shadow Tapper. You won’t find a single soul who’s using their birth names in the guild so why bother when one can get creative?

“If you’re guarding lord klutz from getting _“corrupted”_ then this one is more than happy to tell you she won’t get any of that from the guild. Come on, we’ve been at this for long, have we ever done anything immoral?” furry face replied as he sniggered under your light punches.

“Haha! I’m not a klutz. Just panicked earlier,” you nervously glanced at Marco, mildly afraid that he might be thinking of you as an airhead. “_ahem..._ Additionally, we didn’t steal. If there was a thief, it was that nobleman who forcefully took that family’s heirloom when they couldn’t pay his ridiculous demands! That and he kicked them out of their home. Taking the ring back feels like the right thing to do.” And if it doesn’t abide by the law, you couldn’t care less.

“The Waterfront isn’t the most luxurious, but it should be a safe place for them. Right?” Marie turns at the khajiit for confirmation.

He smirks,

_“Of course. The Gray Fox’s protection is strongest here in the Waterfront.”_

* * *

** _Present time..._ **

** **

If someone asked how Mid Year’s going for you so far, you can confidently declare it as one heaping large pile of donkey shite. You _will _without hesitation because it is. And it can shove itself into the wastelands of fucking Oblivion. What in Tamriel did you do to deserve this? Maybe you do, but gods damn, Mercer Frey of all people. _REALLY? _There were no better candidates to end your life?

“Snap out of it. You’re not dead.”

And that would be Karliah... Patiently listening as you air out your grievances.

“How long was I out?” you changed the topic.

“Since yesterday.”

Crap. That’s too long. You study Karliah making herself busy with preparing more of her quivers. She’s nothing like what they told you she’d appear to be. Calm, calculated, compassionate. The dark elf had the eyes of someone hardened by time and tragedy but didn’t lose her core. “Why save me?” Truthfully speaking, you’re not her target and certainly not her friend. She could have left you to join the undead. Karliah took a sip of the tea she made, forming her words as her finger circled on the mouth of her cup. “My original intention was to use that arrow on Mercer, but I never had a clear shot. I made a split second decision to get you out of the way and it prevented your death.”

“Well that’s a bummer. But why didn’t you took him on? He’s right there in front of you.”

“Hmp. I know that scum talks big but he has a right to.” her shoulder shook with a scoff. “I won’t stand a chance with him knowing what’s coming. But I promise you, the thought crossed my mind. The poison on that arrow took me a year to perfect; I only had enough for a single shot. All I had hoped was to capture Mercer alive.”

Well that effectively made your eyebrows raise. “Alive?” She nods, jaws clenching once more and she meets you straight in the eyes, “Mercer must be brought before the Guild to answer for what he’s done. He needs to pay for Gallus’ murder.”

That... you can understand. How low have you gotten to think like a murderer or a barbarian? You’re disgracing the Cyrodiil thieves with your disregard for the Gray Fox’s teachings. “How will you prove it now?” you returned her gaze, steeling your eyes with determination to help.

“My purpose in using Snow Veil Sanctum to ambush Mercer wasn’t simply for irony’s sake. Before both of you arrived, I recovered a journal from Gallus’ remains.” an equal mixture of sadness and anger flickers before her stone cold expression. “I suspect the information we need is written inside.” A journal should be interesting. Alas, Karliah’s shoulder slumps down when asked about its contents. “I wish I knew. The journal is written in some sort of language I’ve never seen before.”

You take a peek on the worn pages of the previous guildmaster, _‘It’s nothing like Kaidan’s...’_ The thought suddenly puts the universe on pause. The language on Kaidan’s blade. _‘Dragon Language. I was so focused on previous incidents that it completely slipped my mind!’ _A terrible anxiety pulls at your chest. Dragon Language. For as long as your memory serves, Mother and Father had faithfully studied it with you until you grew fairly familiar with it... Until you fled High Rock. And the reason behind it? None other than putting their faith at the notion of you being possibly something fictional—_Dragonborn_, they call it.

“What’s the matter, do you know what this is?” Karliah’s presence frees you from your web of thoughts. You shook your head, hoping to shake off the bugging flashbacks as well. “No. Sorry. Know anyone who can translate?” Karliah crosses her arms as you two stared hard at the book. If by some chance, doing this will have the letters automatically translate itself, that would be dandy. Ahh, but the dunmer finally came with an idea after thinking hard. “Enthir... Gallus’ friend at the College of Winterhold. Of course... It’s the only outsider Gallus trusted with the knowledge of his Nightingale identity.”

That word feels like it had more meaning into it than just being that of endearment.

“Nightingale?”

Karliah searches your eyes, and whatever she found in them, she deemed trustworthy enough to give you an answer. “There were three of us. Myself, Gallus and Mercer. We were an anonymous splinter of the Thieves Guild in Riften. Perhaps I’ll tell you more about it later.” she collects the book and safeguards it in a sturdy sack. She was about to open her mouth again when something picks up her attention. Swiftly, she grabs her bow and with just a blink of an eye, had already knocked ready an arrow at the entrance of your tent.

“Take another step and it’ll be your last!” she warns whoever was that outside. Bandits? Mercer? Your body is in no condition to keep up with their senses. How frustrating.

“Then shall we test whose arrow reaches its target first!” Wait, that growling... “I know my friend is in there! Release her and we won’t have to trouble each other!”

“INIGO..!?” You yelled but your throat isn’t prepared yet, making you cough up violently. Karliah was just as startled when the tent covers flew open with Inigo and Karliah still pointing their weapons at each other. Both raised their voice in unison.

“You know this strange person?”

“What did you do to her!?”

You waved a hand up in dismissal whilst the other clutches your mouth. “Stop it—_cough-_, enough.. _cough! cough! _Don’t shoot.. Inigo, put that down—” and the blue khajiit heeds your command, quickly switching into helping you with careful rubs on your back. “My friend, what happened?” Inigo is worried sick but you dreaded the idea of him travelling this far... “Wait, Inigo, the others??”

“_Ahem._ An ally of yours? You weren’t tailed here?” Karliah interrupted, directing the question at Inigo as she lowers the bow. Your best friend shakes his head, “I went alone. The others are still in the city.” he claimed. “When I learned just how far north you were destined, I couldn’t stand the idea of letting you off on your own so on the third day of your absence, we decided I’d follow you. Just in case you needed some back up. But then I saw your mark on our map fading yesterday! I was struck with fear... _sigh._ I am sorry for being too late.” his earrings clinked with the dropping of his ears.

“No, Inigo. Don’t be sorry! I’m glad you’re here. And everyone’s alright.” you shared a quick hug, internally thankful that he donned a much warmer equipment than your half prepared ass; rubbing his half frozen furry cheeks while you rested your forehead on his. “Karliah. This is Inigo, he’s my friend.” “Karliah? Isn’t she the one you’re supposed to kill?” Inigo’s eyes darted back and forth from the two of you in puzzlement.

“A good thief is a good actor. And Mercer happens to be a master in this trade. He’s the traitorous bastard that used your friend as a scapegoat.” The dark elf clarified. “_Tsk. _He knew he couldn’t take me alone when he knows nothing about my location so he needed a meat shield.”

It didn’t take long before it was Inigo’s turn to rant and rave about Mercer Frey’s foulness. After an hour of catching up, Karliah admonishes the strange looking khajiit for bearing a mindset of self-defeat. “Not just because your friend is put in a critical condition means that we lost. She needs to recuperate. This situation is still salvageable.” she pulls the small sack containing Gallus’ journal and hands it to Inigo. “If you’re both with me on this now, I need someone to deliver this to Winterhold and get the translation. Here, take these as well, they may prove useful for the journey.” seeing as Inigo already had his well polished ebony weapons, the blue cat is given a pouch containing several of Karliah’s potions and balm. “You might find the winds unfavorable for you so use those to counter the cold. I believe I spotted you having a horse as well. If you don’t mind bagging a little supply on your way back for the three of us... I’d be most thankful.” she humbly asked.

“No need to mention that. I was going to anyway. We can’t let Mercer get away with this. And I don’t want my friend to starve in this freezing land.”

Your eyes widened with realization as soon as you remembered something. “Where are my items?”

* * *

“What do you think is happening? Are they alright?” Auri tried to keep the pacing at a minimum but everything’s making her uneasy. A tiny room made of nothing but wood doesn’t help when she’s anxious. “I trust Inigo but we can’t just sit here, Kaidan.”

Kaidan didn’t answer and kept tinkering with his bracers. It’s not like he’ll be able to answer her without axing down the morale. The two of them had been meeting a few times to go over hunting contracts but always end up discussing travel routes to take when things take a turn for the worse. Yesterday when they sought out their friend’s position, her marker faded. It should _never_ fade unless she went too far. But Inigo insisted the enchantment can range from here to as far as Markarth! That only meant one thing; that she’s in danger.

“Are you not following them?”

Kaidan’s grip on the armor tightened. “We can’t just _go._” he grits his teeth, also frustrated by being boxed in like this. “We have to be smart about it. Didn’t you understand what she said? We follow her too soon, we’ll also be in trouble.”

“There’s a high probability that she is_ already-in-trouble_!” Auri bickered, stomping her foot. It’s the first time they clashed but it’s not like someone is being unreasonable. Both had a point and they knew it. The swordsman would not stand down so easily, however. “That’s not the point! We have Lucien with us and Rumarin won’t be enough to guard him on his own. We have to be with them but if we take them with us, it’ll just be the same as prey walking into the predator’s jaws. We have to trust Inigo.”

Auri’s frown deepened. She had not taken this man to be such a pessimist. Why won’t he take chances? They’ll make a good team even if Inigo or Candle’s not around! “I don’t believe what I’m hearing. This is coming from you? Aren’t you sworn to protect her?”

“I am not sworn. I am in debt—”

“Is that all there is to it? Is that all she is to you—a debt to be paid? A contract and not a friend?” Sharp teeth peeked when she hissed. “N-no, of course she’s my...” he paused for a second. What’s stopping him? A man like him who might’ve made numerous enemies to get where he is..? Weaknesses must be highly avoided. And friends will become weaknesses to be exploited. Friends will soften him up. Friends will get him killed. Or he’ll get his friends killed. Either of those will just pile up to the list of memories he will not be fond of.

“She’s more than that. She’s also my _friend_.” He didn’t know what kind of resolve formed in him but it was time to stop trying to act solitary. He’s with a team now, whether he liked it or not and they have to work as one if they’re going to aid their friend. “But we have to make a plan first instead of heading out there. Taking an impulsive approach will put us all in more danger—”

“Us? What kind of danger?”

Both of them shifted towards the doorway and finds Lucien standing with knitted brows. Shit.

“Lucien, we uh-”

“No, Auri please don’t. I heard quite a lot.” he shuts down the bosmer as he stepped inside the room. “Candle, she... what kind of mission did she really went out to?”

“Lucien, come on.. I told you, it’s nothing-” Rumarin appeared shortly. Judging how anxious the elf looked, he’d been just about done convincing Lucien to let go of the matter. “No way. It’s been more than a week. Inigo and Candle are out there and something is wrong! I heard what you guys are arguing about. And before any of you deny it again, take a look at this,” Lucien, who’s practically turning red at this point, places the dwemer sphere he’s been clutching on above the table. It’s vibrating as it produces a strange humming noise which repeated three times before pausing to begin another three. “See right there! She’s the one who set that pattern up to signal emergency. How did you guys think I found out about the situation in Camlorn?” he frowns and then sighs deeply. “I know you guys have a valid reason for keeping things from me. But our friend is in danger now. Please, just tell me what’s going on.”

The other three stood appalled and kept passing each other looks like they’d pass on the responsibility of telling Lucien the truth. Finally, Rumarin cracked under the dreadful mood their silence accumulated. “She’s been sent out to eliminate someone. It’s an assassination contract.”

“What! Why would she want to accept something like that?”

“Because if she doesn’t, there’s a chance that said target will hunt her down… right after they’re done with her officers.” The altmer let his mouth run, earning a protest from the others. “What’s the matter with you two? Honoring her wishes won’t do anything if they’re in trouble out there! He’s asking for the truth isn’t he? I think Lucien has a right to know who he’s travelling with.” And in a moment of discord between the four, Rumarin lets it slip that their Breton friend is part of the Thieves’ Guild. There was no turning back from that point. Deciding to give in to the scholar’s pleas might prove to be more challenging than they’d anticipated.

That theory proved itself when Lucien was nowhere to be found that afternoon right after Rumarin and Kaidan returned from completing a hunting quest.

“What the hell? I told him we’d settle this after we get the money…” Kaidan grumbled. He only delayed the matter so he can think more about it while they were out there doing the job. The plan he had in mind was to finally agree to travel as a group but waiting turned out to be the bad decision. Searching the room for any trace or notes left behind, he finds none. Well shit. “Did he run off after knowing the truth?”

“He’s a law abiding son of Imperial authorities. Of course he’ll find all of this shocking and might have even felt betrayed. So if he ran away, that wouldn’t be surprising…” Rumarin leaned against the door. “You know what’s surprising? Auri’s gone as well. You won’t find anything here because they left the note at the bosmer’s room.”

Kaidan snaps at the elf’s direction in bafflement. He only cocks a brow and waves a torn piece of paper; _“After them. Borrowed the map as well. We’ll find you after.”_ Is what it contained. “Bloody hell.” Kaidan cursed under his breath. “How are we even going to catch up to them at this rate?” gloved fingers already pinching his forehead. The situation is escalating faster and so is his growing headache.

“Wait up. Lucien can’t ride so he’ll most likely ride with Auri. We might be able to catch them with two mounts on our end. We’ll just have to follow the route to Snow Veil Sanctum.” The altmer shared insightfully. He may not be the best in strategies or anything that required thinking in general but he’s not going to stay put in this smelly place while his friends are out there risking their lives—wait _friends_? _‘Yeah, that’s right. Rumarin has friends now after a long time. Whatever, you idiot! Who the hell cares about your issues, those dummies are in danger, so move it!’_

The two men packed everything up with haste and seeing as Brynjolf hasn’t returned for days, Kaidan deemed it’s for the best that none knew of their sudden departure. He just prayed they’re not going to be late because of his delay.

* * *

The earth shook with Thistlefoot’s galloping. Bringing nothing but weapons, provisions, camping gear, and a few clothing, Lucien pondered if it was the right call to leave without permission. He successfully convinced Auri but now what? He can’t keep relying on her for plans and he can barely protect himself. Did he made a foolish choice—what if he’ll be more of a burden than help? The antelope made a leap that distracted him,

“_Ow!_ Lucien!” Auri cries and clicks her tongue for Thistlefoot to slow down.

“I-I’m so sorry! I was just surprised!” Lucien apologizes.

The wood elf sighed, giving him a reminder. “Remember this because this is for the good of us both. Wrap your arms on my waist._ DON’T_ hold on my hair for balance.” She signals the mount to build its pace again. The scholar felt his cheeks burn up. “Your w.. waist? Yeah.. yeah- I, I think I can do that...”

“What? Haven’t you held a woman before?” Rolling her eyes, Auri grunts softly when the imperial could only stammer in response. “Don’t bother. We’re riding fast so hold your tongue before you bite it off.”

They have to make it into a settlement before the sun goes down. Maybe sell off some loots or trade an item or two with something that’ll help with chillier climates. This is going to be a long journey.

* * *

Inigo had kept himself busy helping with Karliah maintain the campfire against the winter winds. He drops several chopped down wood on it to feed the sputtering flame and notices you peeking from inside the tent. You made space as soon as he enters, rubbing his hands together and releasing a foggy breath when he brings it close to his mouth.

“It’s already dark, Inigo. Get some sleep for tomorrow’s journey.”

“I will, I will. I brought our camping gear outside. I’ll set it up after safeguarding the pretty steed.” He assures you, clasping his hands around yours. He’s slightly trembling. “No, Inigo. You can stay here. Keeping close together can fight off the cold wouldn’t it?”

The khajiit chuckles at the offer, “While I agree with you, I don’t think you’d be very comfortable with my fleas as I am.”

“Look at me, flea lover,” you raised your arms but almost made no gesture as you’re covered in a plethora of furs and any garment that will keep you as far away from getting infected and cold. Even your hood is tripled. “I’m a rolled up carpet ready to be tucked away until the next Autumn ball. Tss. Your fleas will prefer your cozy warm furs than these fake ones.” their shoulders shook with mirth. Inigo excuses himself afterwards, promising to bring in his bedroll.

“We’re lucky your friend found us in time. I couldn’t journey to the city and you’re in no condition to travel yet.” Karliah remarked, preparing tea once more. You suppose it’s a necessary replacement for liquor in a cold land like this. With that venomous murderer on your backs, staying as sober as possible is of great importance. “It’s good that you have people who truly have your back.” her voice faded into something softer, sadder. “Couldn’t remember that last time someone had mine unconditionally.”

You poured some on a cup and offered her. “Gallus?” Her face fell when you mentioned the name. She accepts the beverage and brought it up to warm her face. Karliah nods, pulling down her hood and takes a sip. “You know I... I was with the Cyrodiil thieves before I came here.” For some reason, you were compelled to converse with this mysterious stranger. Karliah’s eyes perk up from your revelation. “Followers of the Gray Fox, huh?”

“We were the poor people’s champions. So I guess yeah. That bit was commanded by the Gray Fox. What was... What was the previous guild master like? You don’t have to answer if you.. y’know..” your eyes drop to the warm drink between your palms.

Unexpectedly, the dunmer spoke, “He was a scholar, a master thief and a natural leader. Everyone respected him and followed him without question. It was Gallus who inducted me into the Nightingales and honed my skills to a razor sharp point.” Seeing her eyes shine with admiration reminded you of your younger self. How you’d watch Marco with the same eyes as he follows through each step of the act like he’d orchestrated everything. The Gray Fox welcomed the three of you with open arms but you declined every offer due to your nobility status. Whatever mission you accompanied Tappy with, you did so for the thrill and the rejuvenating feeling of fulfillment when you teach a man his lessons. Karliah’s voice slices through your memories once again, “I owe everything to him. We were... _very close_.” she says. Twenty five years, was it? It sounds like it’s still pretty fresh for Karliah.

“You were lovers...?”

“Gallus once said he felt comfortable around me; able to let his guard down. I can’t help but think that I’m responsible for what happened to him.” her nose wrinkled as she blinked the dry tears away. You tried to come up with something to distract her, popping up a question about her reasons as to why she can’t go to the city of Winterhold herself. “I’m afraid not. There are preparations to make and Gallus’ remains to lay to rest. I promise to join the khajiit there as soon as I can.”

Oh. That wooden box at her side must be Gallus’... “I’m sure I’m well and able by then. I can help you give the previous guild master a proper funeral tomorrow.” you offered, earning a soft but genuine smile from Karliah. Just then, Inigo returns with his camping equipment and you help him out setting the rolls beside yours. Having Karliah closer would be welcomed but she politely turns down.

“Why didn’t you kill Mercer back there?” Inigo asks out of nowhere. You’ve been drifting off to sleep, face buried on Inigo’s arm but you can still make out bits of what they’re talking about.

Karliah spoke in hushed tones, but you fought off sleep’s pulling embrace when she decided to give a lengthy answer. “...Mercer lied to the Guild, branded me a murderer and slandered my name across his network of contacts. For twenty-five years I ran, never sleeping in the same place twice and carefully covering my tracks.” resent cloaked her voice “Mercer doesn’t need to die... he needs to feel the cold sting of fate as his life crumbles in front of him and he’s hunted by the Guild.”

Under close lids, you felt Inigo’s shoulder rise a bit. “Eh... Might not have a choice next time.”

“I can promise you if it comes to that, and my back’s to the wall, I won’t hesitate.”

Finally, your consciousness couldn’t hold out no longer and you allow yourself to rest quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am speed, I am the wind, I am...  
.... probably going to hit a writing block soon and have to switch back to drawing again. ∑(´ﾟωﾟ｀*)
> 
> (No really, I can feel it. ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ?? I have premonition.)
> 
> HHHEHEEHEHEHEHE let's divide the group, shall we? Should produce some nice dynamic, yeah? yeah? What's that dangerous sound from afar? Must be my imagination... ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭


	41. All Caught Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is doing their best to track You and Inigo, let's take a look at their situation so far.

** 040 **

** All Caught Up **

Firm but caring hands caressed her shoulder blades, wiping it with cloth freshly dipped in warm liquids. She gathers her damp hair, twirling bright red tresses as her companion works her way up her body. She whispers her gratitude; the warmth is a blessing, especially in Northern lands. And a good rub from someone she trusts really does her aching muscles a miracle.

“Auri, you sure you don’t want flowers in it?”

The bosmer shakes her head, “No, my friend. I know we’re not in Valenwood but you already know I still follow the Green Pact. I just can’t...” then on cue, she follows up, “Not that those floral scents aren’t enticing. You do you, my friend. I won’t mind.” giggles Auri. But not a minute later, her companion slowly stops. “Is something wrong, friend?” her voice quivered. She didn’t offend her good friend, has she?

“You always appear to be a little down when mentioning your homeland.. or you following the Green Pact? Does living this way of life upset you?”

“No!” Auri responses by instinct, surprised at the question presented at her, “No.. It’s just.. I suppose I’m feeling a little homesick. Don’t get me wrong, Skyrim is beautiful in its own way, but...” her voice loses its volume and she shrinks underwater. “It’s not Valenwood.” Her companion didn’t say a word but she could see her mouth forming an ‘o’ in the reflection. “If that’s the case... Have you thought of returning home someday?”

Auri’s shoulders fell with a fretful sigh. “I can’t go home.”

The bathhouse creaked open with a few drunken ladies stumbling in to find a space of their own but her friend heed it no mind and asked her why not. The bosmer fidgets. This was not the place she wished to discuss it nor is she ready to do so. “I-I’d rather not get into it right now. Maybe I’ll explain some other time.” she hastily gave her friend a half smile and went back to cleaning her body.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” There was a tiny twist Auri felt in her heart. It had been so long since someone showed genuine interest for her well being. She was so far from home and so alone and crossing paths with this person reminded her of bonds she yearned to mend, but can’t. “Thank you for asking, really. But.. I don’t know. I just really miss the lushness of the forest, the secret rivers, and the sun through the leaves.” another sigh escapes her but her friend’s embrace provided a river of comfort.

“Things will work out eventually, Auri. We’ll make it work.”

...

Things will be alright.

* * *

** _22nd Mid Year, 4E 200, evening…_ **

“Auri? What’s wrong?” Lucien studied her with worry behind his book. Books inside a tavern, who would imagine. There’s not a single day she saw him put those down. Does it help him cope up with the situation? “Do you... Do you not like their milk? Shall I get you water instead?” he frets. Auri shook her head lightly, forcing up a smile. They’ve been on the run for days and thankfully, they managed to always keep near patrolled roads and reach a settlement before sundown. Maybe twice or more they had encountered a possible ambush but they had no time to spare for fighting. The bosmer had to live off caught animals or cheaply roasted tavern meat for she could not bring herself to kill in front of Lucien. She knew he wasn’t prepared for that and she will definitely not risk getting him harmed physically or mentally. Healing potions are hard to come by and they still have to acquire warmer clothes.

“Lucien, you should sort out your clothes. We ought to trade it for winter garbs.” She advised the young imperial who understandably looked shaken. She watches as the scholar’s hand travel instinctively to their friend’s scarf. Candle entrusted it to them as a promise of her return. “That one we can keep. How are you doing, by the way? I can drop you in Falkreath if you.. _regret _coming to her rescue.”

“I’m not anxious about that, Auri. I’m just... I’m not suited for this. I don’t want to burden anyone.” With this, the bosmer slowly places her hand down whatever history book Lucien has. “You will not burden her, Lucien. And keep your chin up. She’s reunited with Inigo right?” Sure, they saw them separate once again but after a few days of monitoring their movements, the two best friends reunited. Inigo must be gathering supplies to take back to her. But why in Nirn would they settle in the middle of nowhere when it’s freezing up there remains a mystery. The main point is that they’re both fine. And they should probably conserve the enchantment’s lifespan.

“Do you think Rumarin and Kaidan knows? We did take away their map...” Lucien shrugs, guilt all over his face. Her lips quirked up in sheer amusement. “Well, we do know they’re on the move as well. They’re grownups, they can handle their own.”

* * *

** _22nd Mid Year, 4E 200, earlier that day…_ **

In the harsh regions of Eastmarch rode two men being pursued by savages. They cursed and roared, vulgar words dropping like rain—but not towards their enemies.

“Move it, you oaf!”

“You _move_ it!” Kaidan spat back. “Shoot ‘em!” He yells as their steeds make a turn, earning them a few seconds of safe communication.

“No, you!” Rumarin screamed in a very, very, infuriatingly whiney voice. How the hell does an elf older than him still manage to sound like they’re born yesterday??

Kaidan glares wildly at the elf, making it obvious with his expression that he doesn’t know horseback archery, and Divines forgive the swordsman for he really want to bash in that face right now. _‘Arkay’s eyes, is this really happening?! Why is the one capable to supply himself unlimited arrows useless in a chase like this!’ _Pissed off by his companion’s lack of competence, Kaidan makes a hard turn heading straight to the mountain’s foot. Swiftly but with discipline, he grabs the bow and shoots one. The thick trees made for a good cover and bought him enough time to draw another one, quickly sending it to the bandit with a crossbow.

No more rangers and their pursuers have no horses either. Good. They may know the woods better than them but they can outrun these scums. Just give it a good few minutes and dodge their attacks to wear them o—

_“ARGH! DAMN IT, GET OFF!”_

It is only the fact that he’s on a horse that he can’t curse out Rumarin. Grunting bitterly, he moves around to collect the elf’s steed, bringing a swift slash across the back of the wild nord that’s about to bury his hatchet on the elf’s face. That’s as far as he can extend his hand if they wanna keep both horses.

Rumarin brings all his strength in tossing the bandit off when another one charges at him. Stepping aside, the orc gets his axe stuck on the trunk instead, and before he can pull it out the elf’s conjured dagger has already sunk inside his neck, “Damn it bandit, can’t you see I’m poor!” Rumarin screws his face up at the smell of blood. This stuff is part of survival he’s very much acquainted with, but he really hates that coppery scent it entails.

“You gonna give ‘em burial rites until the others catch up or are you gonna come down now?” Kaidan beckoned from the nearby path.

“Thank you so much for the help.” the altmer’s response was no short of sarcastic as he finds a better slope to slide down towards the gruff swordsman. Kaidan narrowed his eyes, letting out a loud scoff, “Aye, you didn’t look like you need any.”

Oblivion’s sake, it’s been only two days and Kaidan’s about to lose his mind. Where is this now? Vernim Wood? Kynareth must be laughing at them. No map and no idea which route is safer or faster to take. Not everyone in Skyrim knows every burial chambers and where in Tamriel they are located so their best bet was to always find a settlement by the end of the day and ask them which way is better taken going North. With luck, the further north they go, the more chances they have in stumbling across someone who knows what or where this Snow Veil Sanctum is.

* * *

** _22nd Mid Year, 4E 200, City of Winterhold…_ **

Inigo sat patiently and waited for the man he’s to speak with inside The Frozen Hearth, the only tavern still welcoming to outsiders in the once great city of Winterhold. Take one look outside and it’ll be clear as day what the Great Collapse did to the town. It’s just a miracle to see a Temple dedicated to Stendarr still standing near a cliff. Nice to know the sick here can have a place to go to since there seems to be a shortage of carriages and it’s not exactly a place for tourists to linger around in. But the fireplace here is a blessing. It wasn’t the easiest task going here despite the storm, but they can’t wait around for it to blow over.

Sitting around after the journey makes his lids feel a bit heavy.

...

..

_“Hey, Inigo. Was just wondering why you took this job.”_

_ “What do you mean, my friend?”_

_ “I mean... you’ve a kind heart. I don’t really see how you could work for someone like this Dupan guy. You strike me more as one of those sell-swords who willingly helps the common people when they have time.”_

_ “Haha, you are funny my friend. But yes, I do that. But I also don’t mind taking shifty jobs. A man’s got to feed himself. What about you?”_

_ “Hmm. Sounds awfully close to mine. See I never landed an actual job in the cities. So here I am, a blade for hire. I just hope mother wouldn’t ever find out. They’re barely getting by as a farmer... I had to do something to get us some coin...”_

_ BANG!_

The tavern door opened quite loudly from the storm makes the khajiit jolt in his seat. The innkeeper greeted the new guest but the disoriented khajiit couldn’t make sense past the usual exchange of pleasantries. Had he fallen asleep? _‘That was... Was that me and my friend? No it can’t.. She’s... I.. it must be my damaged memory.’_ Inigo shakes his head and reaches for the half finished bottle of ale.

_“You’re a strange looking fellow aren’t ‘ya.”_

He almost snarled at whoever was that ballsy enough to approach him in such a way. Sighting the man’s face, Inigo firmly held back his temper. “Dagur told me you’ve business. Says to look for a blue khajiit. Thought he was messin’ till I walk up on you.” says the tiny elf man. So this is Enthir? “Yes... Does that matter?” Inigo sighs in exhaustion.

“Not at all, friend. Bizarre things are common here in Winterhold, what with the Mages’ college and all. So what did you need? You need to buy something?” He takes a seat in front of the adventurer.

“I've been sent by Karliah.”

Enthir freezes upon hearing. He remained so for the next minute, sizing up the stranger before him. “Karliah? Then she's finally found it.” Enthir finally spoke. “Do you have Gallus’ Journal?” Inigo readily surrendered Gallus’ journal but mentioned it being written in another language. “Hah. This is just like Gallus. A dear friend, but always too clever for his own good. He's written all of the text in the Falmer language.” The bosmer scholar remarks as he skims through the entire journal.

“Uhh.. Can you translate it?”

“No.” was Enthir’s immediate answer. “However, I know someone who might. The court wizard of Markarth, Calcelmo, may have the materials you need to get this journal translated.” he reveals, eyes still on the pages. “A word of warning. Calcelmo is a fierce guardian of his research. Getting the information won't be easy.”

Inigo receives back the old book but figured he’d ask a few more anyway before he skedaddle. “If you don’t mind mister, what was Gallus like?”

Enthir smiles fondly, “Well... He was a dear friend of mine and a surprisingly astute pupil of academia...” and the joy fades along his words. “I was devastated when he was killed. I suppose that risk always coexisted with his line of work, I just never thought his luck would run out.” the man confessed and it struck the khajiit for he was feeling the same for his friend. He can’t screw this up again like he did so many times in his life. The gods have been kind so far to give him several chances to redeem himself and aid his friend in this battle.

“What’s with that look, my strange friend?”

“Nothing important. I just wondered why he chose to be a thief if he was a fine academic.” Inigo sheepishly asked.

“For the thrill of course! He was quite clear that he felt more in his element climbing through a window rather than hunched over a dusty tome.” The wood elf chuckled as if recalling a funny memory.

“Must be an interesting tale of how you met...” Inigo muttered and took a swig. A soft laughter bubbled up from the college mage, “Ah yes, quite an amusing anecdote actually.” Enthir begins, “I caught him trying to break into my laboratory. I was about to show him the error of his ways when he made a curiously astute comment about my research notes. I was astounded and in turn, it lead to a conversation. Who'd have imagined it would lead to such a strong friendship?” he grins widely.

Inigo let himself have a laugh. “We do make the best bonds at the strangest circumstances. So why do you think Gallus scribe his journal in Falmer?”

“Besides the fact that there are only a handful of people in Tamriel that even recognize the language? I'm fairly certain he was planning some sort of a heist that involved a deep understanding of the Falmer language.” The elf told him. “Sadly, we never had the opportunity to speak about the details.” But if that was the case, how did Gallus acquire the knowledge to use this language? Apparently, Enthir pointed out Gallus the same direction; to the court wizard in Markarth. “I'm only hoping whatever means he used to learn the language will still be available to you.” He said, bidding Inigo farewell with a fair warning about the stubbornness of that Calcelmo fellow.

Markarth then, eh? This was more difficult than they were prepared for. Karliah and his friend have to know.

* * *

** _Later that evening…_ **

“You know, bandits are always complaining about their illegitimate children.” Rumarin takes a bite out of a bread, legs crossed atop a wooden table, “If only they knew we were going to kill them, they wouldn’t whine so much about the little things.” This made Kaidan laugh, “These bandits deserve a little more than a blade in the spine.” he mutters spitefully, wiping the blood off from his nodachi. Now looking at this small bandit encampment they just finished _cleaning up,_ maybe they worked themselves a little bit too much. Ask the pile of bandit corpses thrown over the cliff there.

“Ah, now this comes as a surprise.... and again it’s not.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kaidan echoed from his own tent. Well, technically, it’s not his. Rumarin chuckled wryly at him, stating how his mood seemed to have lifted up from killing. “Hey I’m not psychotic if that’s what you’re implying. It’s just that...” “Yeah, yeah, I know. I get it. Just messing with you.” The altmer brushes him off. Guess bandit slaying can be counted as a form of blowing off some steam. Divines know they can use it—they’re like two lost cats finding their way home. Except it was their home that ran away.

“How in Nirn did you survive being so humorless as you are..?” The high elf muttered under his breath. As Kaidan did his best to continue ignoring his companion’s ramblings, so did this elf tested his patience. “Survival is all there is when you’re travelling alone. Looks like you got used too much with ‘er antics.”

“Ugh, and you’re not? You’re just as worried as I am. _What? _Go on, deny that.” Dares the altmer when he hears the swordsman move from his tent. He can’t argue with that now, can he? Hah! Score one for Rumarin. Silence befell them for hours, lost in their own makeshift ways to keep themselves entertained or busy as they wait out the night.

“So... swordsman...”

Kaidan rolled his eyes. Figures the elf leaving him in peace all night is just wishful thinking and he takes a gulp to finish off the ale he brought.

“Do you like her?”

_And there goes Kaidan’s last sip of booze. _Followed by a loud “WHAT?” that echoed miles around. The hulking man peeks out to see Rumarin staring back at him with the same baffled expression he has. “Why the bloody hell are you the one looking surprised!?”

“Why are _you_ surprised??”

“Because—” he grunts in resignation. This is not gonna go anywhere. And he has nothing better to do anyway since sleep won’t find him. “What made you think that?” And what is this buffoon thinking of, laying on top of the table.

Rumarin simply shrugged, “I just think you regard her differently. And it’s not like she’s the only girl in the group.” he takes a bite out of an apple while propped on his elbows. “So I thought maybe you felt different around her. I know I do.” He barely voiced that last part out but Kaidan caught it clearly.

Loss for words, his sigh was empty of protest. “Aye.. I do. But not like that..” Not like _what?_ He can’t even place which is which. Living in solidarity, away from civilization and avoiding companionship for the longest time since the cult, Kaidan had to admit he’s having trouble rediscovering the lines in between. Is he infatuated or is he just attached to that person? He may have heard a few times about people forming a strong sense of care for another without it necessarily amounting to romantic ties. Of people forming strong bonds like they were blood kin when they are not. But he wasn’t so sure yet that’s what he was feeling around her. Divines’ sake, what does he know about this stuff outside of those that which burns out as fast as it ignites? He’s certainly not in love, no, he wouldn’t call it that. It’s not even sexual in any way.

Alright, he might have screwed up big time that night by the stream but they’d since settled that matter down! Right? She’s over that and he’s.. he’s still not. Gods, what’s wrong with him. “Look, I-I don’t fancy her, alright? I just-”

“-don’t know?” Rumarin catches him off guard by snatching the words right out of him.

With the burly man rendered speechless, he took it upon himself to elaborate, “I haven’t been in the company of people who _actually _valued me in a long time, just like you. My time spent with everyone made me realize that I actually like you guys. The kind of fondness in which if any of you dies, I’ll be really sad even if I inherit your loot.” he explains in between bites. Hopefully, that registers inside Kaidan’s brain. “I felt like you would be able to relate, being that you’re a lone wolf type and all. You’ll have an idea what it’s like to be skeptic about letting people in your life, and I wouldn’t have to be so embarrassed if it’s you I’m gonna share it with... But it seems like you’re way more confused than I am. _Hehe. _This is just a piece of advice, though...” At this point, he doesn’t know if his companion is still listening but he’ll say it anyway. “Whatever you’re feeling, it’s best you clarify it to yourself. Confusion often gets in the way of what should have been an excellent friendship.”

Kaidan didn’t answer and the elf thankfully didn’t poked around. He probably thought him asleep and didn’t bother anymore but... he actually made sense. So if Rumarin knew what to call his feelings for the woman, can Kaidan say the same for himself? The swordsman knew he cared for her, but just like the altmer said, maybe he’s sweating about it too much and may have very well mixed things up in the process. Oh, he’s bad at this. Even Candle was aware of his confused state and she hasn’t held it against him. They’re friends and that’s simply it—he’s already more than happy with that!

Aye. This short talk with the loud elf has given him much to reflect about, much to his gratitude. Not that he’ll ever mention it.

* * *

** _23rd Mid Year, 4E 200…_ **

** **

_“Kaidan, get up! Get up!”_

Rumarin’s hissing instantly jolts the swordsman awake. He’s already geared up and appears to be making an effort in hushing the confused man’s muttered curses. That’s when Kaidan realized he’s hearing more than just animals. There’s clashing of weapons and it’s nearby. Sharp eyes quickly darts over their pit fire—it’s long been put out. _Good_. Rumarin may have more practicality than he gives himself credit for. The raven haired man dons the bracers and greaves as fast as he can and scrambled up while Rumarin silently looks out, using Kaidan’s bow.

“You can’t summon your own?”

Rumarin faces him with a frown. “Uh-yeah, no. Unless you want to attract the attention of those whoever are fighting out there. ” Ah, that’s right. Kaidan forgot the elf hasn’t learned, _or made an effort for that matter_, to try silencing the spell whenever he casts one. Circling around after they’re done packing up their things, the two spots a fighter from a narrow space the trees provided.

Stormcloak soldiers?

Crap, did Imperial men stumble upon a close camp? Getting caught between a clash is the least they’d wanna get into right now. Kaidan informed the elf that the options they’ll have are either to go around or wait it out. Much to his displeasure.

“This is the part where you tell me we don’t have time, right? Because if not, I’d really just like to go back to bed.”

The swordsman brashly dismisses him and hands in the reins when they saw a familiar creature skittering a few paces past the snowy bushes. “Bloody hell.. is that _W-whistle.. Bristle.._ uhm? Look over there!” Why does the name keeps slipping away from his memory?

“_Uhm _what???” Rumarin narrows his eyes, also seeking a clear vision of the wild little thing that tottered right past them, “Isn’t that Thistlefoot?”

“Yeah! That’s it. The Antelope. What’s Auri’s steed doing—_Ysmir’s beard, don’t tell me…_”

They shared a quick glance, a silent agreement, and they wasted no time getting a hold of the skittish animal. “Woah, easy there.” Kaidan tried his best keeping the animal silent and calm while they trace back the trail it made to the source of fighting. The saddle and the sacks attached to it, there’s no mistake; those _two_ are somewhere around. Of course just following the tracks already gives them a heads up of what to expect.

_“Please! I’m telling you, there isn’t a need to fight, this is all just a big misunderstanding—oh goodness, watch it with the sword! Yeowch!!”_

Uh, yeah. Lucien’s iconic yelps. Racing towards the very thing they were supposed to avoid, a grimacing swordsman and an appalled elf jumps in just in time to see the sharp end of a blade pointed at Lucien who along with Auri are in chains. They upgraded their gear to suit the climate? That’s good. _Er, not really_. They’re both detained by rebels. There’s about twenty of them. Damn it.

“You guys!” They all exclaimed in unison. Does that count as good synergy? Armed men quickly turned on the newcomers, barking for them to state their business or affiliation with the _Imperial spies _they’re holding right now. What the hell?

“Aye, word is we got some group of spies running ‘bout our territory. Scouting our defenses and sniffing out our camp locations.” One of the nord with a spear spoke. It does appear like genuine intel with how confident they sound—except they caught the wrong people. Rumarin had spilled out a waterfall of words trying to reason out with the suspicious men but their group consisting of an imperial, a bosmer, and a high elf painted them guiltier in the eyes of these soldiers. And Kaidan didn’t even have to tell them he’s not actually a nord for them to charge him guilty of being a spy for the Empire.

_Are they really that daft? He doesn’t even look the part!_

“Look, I’ve no love for the Imperials. But you’re all a bunch of morons. Apprehending us without concrete proof? Is this how Ulfric Stormcloak runs things around? Sounds damned identical to how the Thalmor manage their agenda.” Kaidan’s words had a lot of bite in it as the things he experienced as a Thalmor prisoner flashes briefly in his mind whilst barking at the dimwits in front of him.

“Wha—you dare compare us to those disgusting gold skins!? We’re taking you in because you all look suspicious!” Their commander yelled with the others jeering after him.

“Pfft. Is that it? Or is it because we’re not _nords_?” Auri sneers, “Oh Divines forgive us for being born a different race. I forgot it’s a crime not to be an idiot in Stormcloak territory.”

“SHUT UP! You’re all going to answer to our higher ups. Be thankful we’re keeping your tongues attached, not unlike your elven masters who’d rather you die the moment your cover gets blown!” Another one spoke.

If this is how they take prisoners, then it’s a bloody mystery how the civil war is still at an impasse. Wait, on second thought, the Empire’s forces are also spineless cowards. Kaidan had already gotten half of his blade drawn out when a wave of green light hits the men from behind—specifically those who’re guarding Auri and Lucien. They fall face first on the dirt, still as a rock but very much alive. Everyone’s attention were quickly stolen but before they could reach their captives, a thick cloud of mist and ice swirled around them, blocking their visions and tremendously slowing down their movements.

Rumarin hurriedly slipped around to pick up the two. “I don’t know what’s happening but it’s leaning towards our favor! Let’s go!” he bellowed, throwing Lucien on Kaidan’s care as they all hopped on their respective mounts and getting as far away from the commotion.

Ignoring the cutting winds brought by the freezing weather, the group galloped through heading towards the direction Lucien informed them of Candle’s location. Not even a few minutes later into the run, they caught a sight of another robed person riding after them. Great, a chase is just what they need. Being inside a forest blanketed with snow made it extremely hard to get a proper aim and they can’t task Auri with the job since she’s still chained.

“What do we do?!” She frantically asked the red eyed man.

Kaidan, running out of ideas, beckoned his friends to follow him out the next road. They’ll settle this in the open if that’s what this person wants. Who is it even!? A rebel ranger? Or perhaps it was their friend’s enemy after all? Whichever they are, they’ll be sure to regret hindering their journey to find their companions.

“Watch out, they’re gaining speed!” Rumarin warns as the pursuer reaches the clearing before them. “You gotta be kidding me… what now?” He muttered silently. With the group placing second in their little race, Kaidan and Rumarin both had their weapons ready against the stranger who waited for them.

“23rd of Mid Year. Did you know we celebrate all day dancing regardless of whether we were in High Rock or not? Braving the summer snow never crossed our minds. Ever.” the stranger coolly stated. What the-

Everyone was speechless; their breaths caught in their throats as the woman gently hops down from her horse. Her hand traces the hem of her hood as she pulls it down, revealing green eyes piercing them in cold criticism.

_Lyanna. She's back and terribly mad._

“It wasn’t even a month after I’ve gone. Tell me, how did my lady got gravely injured and where is she?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was easy, huh? They got back together after three days, yehey happy again! :D :D
> 
> *SIRENS WAILING DISTANTLY*
> 
> What was that? Hmm... Must be the wind. +.+


	42. Camaraderie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting with the vigilant of Stendarr and reuniting, things got much easier for everyone to remain in contact. Meanwhile, you struggle with some persistent memories as Inigo puts in his best efforts to safeguard you on the way to Markarth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just minor headcanons as usual xD Will have an explanation in the future how it connects with everything :D

** 041 **

** Camaraderie **

“Alright, we expected some bandits… some wild animals..” Lucien tried to remain as calm as possible, “..but to be accused of spying for the Thalmor! Preposterous! Absolutely ridiculous!” the baffled imperial burst out in an energetic rant which Lyanna had to endure while tending to their bruises. And while his screeches fill the tiny cave they took shelter in, the other three had been trying to settle the matter regarding the scholar’s impulsive decision.

It took them three days to catch up on each other, which they are thankful for, but three days and still nowhere near Inigo and the lady is something to be worried about.

“Relax. We have them on our map.” Auri says, rubbing her wrists which now enjoy the newfound freedom. “Er.. Sorry, for taking it again, by the way.” She mentions with a sheepish grin. The map looked a little more burnt than they’d last seen it. “We’re sorry. There was no way of knowing how they are doing so we had little choice but to check on them several times a day. From what we gathered, it seems like Inigo ran a few supply run for them before they went away.”

“Went away? Where are they headed?” Kaidan inquired, activating the map.

“Huh. With their location now, I don’t suppose they’re going back to Riften.” Rumarin concluded after seeing both markers somewhere on the Reach. They couldn’t possibly be lost. “But they’re headed west, aye? We’re near a city. We should follow the main road and keep an eye out for them.” They quickly draw out a plan, but made sure to consult with Lyanna first before they get back to journeying. Lucien who had abruptly stopped his ranting to give way to the current topic asked the Vigilant how she tracked them all so fast.

“By bound creatures, of course. A week ago, I sent her a letter and when she gave me a response, she stated that she’s about to enter a Nordic burial site. Snow Veil Sanctum if I recall correctly. I had planned to keep my arrival a surprise for the lady but… Something felt amiss.” Lyanna narrated and unrolled a map of her own, “I travelled to Riften, hoping to get information from you people but found out that everyone has departed. I even fought my path to the Ratway. The man in the Ragged Flagon insisted that even her recruiter, Brynjolf, had left the city for he was worried about my lady...”

Brynjolf was worried, truly? _‘Ah… well that’s not outside of him.. Despite his lifestyle.’ _Kaidan noted mentally. For what it’s worth, the swordsman knew that man had more heart than a common gutter thief would ever show. And he was especially genuine to their group.

“..and the guildmaster. They say neither of them has yet to return from what’s supposed to be a short mission.”

The wh—Mercer hasn’t shown up!? Did that mean the enemy won and Candle barely made it out with her life? “But they’re fine! The enchantments won’t lie…” Lucien argued.

“I’m sure they are. However, it may also mean that they’re still under threat. Now let’s go over with the plan…” she brings out a small journal and starts scribbling. Lyanna wasted no time dallying with trivial matters and summons a bound courier; a hawk. Its spectral glow perfectly masked under the rays of sun as it flies towards its recipient. The vigilant then tells them that while she had asked in her letter for her mistress to reveal their destination, they must keep going forward to close the gap with them. During an hour of discussion, the collective decision was to split up again; both as precaution for the still-unknown enemy and to cover more ground. One group will continue here in the Pale following the path towards their friends, while the other shall take a route around the hold of Whiterun. One could never be so sure if some of them will luckily cross paths with Inigo and the woman.

“If the courier manages to reach her fast, we may rendezvous sooner on the closest settlement. But for now, let’s discuss groupings…”

* * *

The wind’s howling grew quieter the further they go. Just another day or two and they should be at the border leading to Hjaalmarch. Inigo looked back in worry at his friend. She was not herself after they’d left Karliah’s camp. Eating too little at the pitiful excuse of conserving their rations and keeping still like a paralytic during the night when her eyes won’t even close to take a rest. Something’s making her uneasy and it’s definitely not from her encounter at the Sanctum.

Asking was logical but fruitless; the woman was good at dodging hits but he had no idea how better she was in evading conversations. His questions will always end up circling back to him without Inigo even knowing for some reason. Whoever she learned it from, they taught her good—the khajiit wondered if she really was this sly even from before, because if she is… She would’ve gotten a whiff of his betrayal from miles away; he wouldn’t even get as far as to draw an arrow without her blade reaching his neck first. Shaking the thoughts away, he slowed on his tracks to check on her.

“You good? Your silence is starting to concern me, I admit. I’m always here for you, remember?” He offers her a humble smile under his own hood.

The woman lifted up hers to return the kind gesture. “It’s nothing, Inigo. Sorry for worrying you. I suppose I just need a lot of rest.”

“What’s got your head in a knot anyway?”

“Just tired… You? You look like you’ve been stressed out as of late. I’m sorry for burdening you like this.” Even with the hood on, the gloom in her eyes was evident. The khajiit waves this off, telling her that he had much longer and more dangerous tasks before during his days in Cyrodiil. “It’s a shame we didn’t meet there once. I’m sure we would have gotten along.”

“We make quite the duo right now, don’t we?” She laughed, though it sounded a bit forced. She wrapped the winter cloak tighter around her as she shivered slightly, and before Inigo could attempt to ask why she looks pained just now, she was already talking about their destination. “I don’t remember anything about Markarth. Karliah said it’s quite the city. Not unlike the other holds, what with the vast Dwemer influence in it. I admit, I’m quite curious.”

He did his best to keep his ears from expressing his disappointment. She just steered the topic again, didn’t she? Another chance missed. Might it be best to entertain this kind of talk; at least it’ll help ground both of them from their own wayward thoughts.

* * *

“Riiight. Why am I with him _again_?” Rumarin stood stiffly with crossed arms.

“I could ask the same thing.” Kaidan scoffed.

The vigilant’s mouth presses in a thin line as her shoulders drop with a sigh. “I already told you, this is the most balance in both offense and defense we can get. Auri and Lucien can’t defend in close quarters; hence, I shall take that role. The swordsman proved to be most efficient and familiar in this approach and this is where the altmer must make use of his flexibility with his bound weapons.” She explained as they gear up, “Look, work however you wish. I am giving no commands here. But if we want to gain speed, this is our best bet. I swear to protect my lady’s friends with my life.”

And with none of them presenting a better idea, a quick nod with one another was how they parted ways. If things go smoothly this time, they should be able to reunite in Hjaalmarch a few days from now.

“Who’s taking the Pale route…” Rumarin’s ears droop down as he scans his companion’s attires. Sure some furs and animal skin can keep one warm but only up until a certain temperature. “…nevermind. We’ll take the Pale route.”

“Are you sure?” Lucien’s eyes were smeared with concern. Is the elf su—_of course he’s sure! _Don’t want the funny little scholar-turned-adventurer freezing his butt off. The altmer shrugs and patted his friend’s shoulder, bidding goodbye, “Both our clothes are better suited for colder climates compared to yours. We’ll see you in Hjaalmarch, alright?”

“You both stay safe.” Auri whispered to Kaidan while the other two are busy outwitting each other with their silly farewells. Staying safe is not a problem for him. It’s the altmer that keeps attracting trouble to them. A disgruntled noise escaped him upon mounting the dark steed. At least he won’t be so bothered with a capable fighter like Lyanna helping them out. Reviewing the piece of note the vigilant shared, his eyes travelled to the map that’s been returned to them. He had half a mind to check Inigo’s location right now but it’s better to try and conserve it as much as possible, and just wait for updates with Lyanna’s couriers. They sure as hell can’t lose a map right now.

He just hoped that wherever they’re going is far away from danger.

Or at least he tried to stay hopeful.

_‘Am I cursed…?’_

The mindless question pops up in his mind as countless snowflakes dot his figure, racing through the side of a hill as a sabrecat follows his tail with a deathly hunger. Damn, where is Rumarin when he needs him?! As if his wailings were heard by the universe, Rumarin later appears at the end of the slope to reunite with him. But instead of relief, a look of dread washes over their faces when Kaidan witnesses a pack of wolves snarling and lunging towards the bladebinder. This is anything_ but _godsent!

“Kaidan-”  
“No!” Kaidan screams in utter disbelief, “NO!!”

Swear his soul to the gods, never had he reach this height of bafflement in his life before. What the bloody hell is this?! Awakening a hungry sabrecat wasn’t enough; the bastard actually brought a set of beasts after them, is he running a _fucking_ parade!? Should he start apologizing now for not getting a memo??

“I thought they might distract the big cat!” Rumarin huffs out as they push onwards the fields of white. Clearly, that has yet to prove effective—otherwise they wouldn’t be gliding through this forsaken cold like two men on a drunken wager.

Distraction!? That’s the stupidest thing he’d heard ever since… since… since yesterday? How the fuck is it possible to be surrounded with so much bad luck in such a short span of time? Isn’t a settlement nearby? Maybe they should follow that; fighting the wild creatures with guards is the smarter move.

And the high elf better pay for Kaidan’s expenses tonight!

* * *

Marco stumbles and falls on his back with a loud grunt. Wooden sword discarded somewhere nearby. His father raises a hand as a gesture to end the session. The mansion’s backyard was covered in grass so hopefully that didn’t hurt as much as it looked. He leans down to help his eleven year old son, giving the timid boy a mixture of lecture and praise before sending him off to get medically attended.

Silently stepping around the complicated yet elegantly looking stonework of a pillar in your living room, you waited for their mother to take her leave before you reveal yourself to the chocolate haired siblings.

“Lady Rozenn!” Marie almost jumped before lowering her head as greetings. The room’s neatly arranged as usual. Though it was worth pointing out that the table was placed too close to the fireplace. And that the chandelier should be moved or sold—seriously, even a child like you find it ridiculous to have a chandelier in a place where there’s a big fireplace. Just put some wall cones instead to save money!

“Can’t you guys act normal when we’re home?” You pinched the brunette’s cheeks. “P-pardon my intrusion but father says this kind of behavior is required of us as we serve your house.” Marco added but only received a dismissive sigh from you. “Make me an exception, please? I don’t like you guys acting stiff necked like everyone outside this place.” You whined as your eyes travel up on Marco’s bruised arm, which he tried to pry away from your eyes but couldn’t once it caught your attention.

“Erm… Failed father’s exercises again.”

“I don’t think you failed! You just did it… differently?” blue eyes glances at the older sister, “Right, Marie? You didn’t follow the exact steps as well but you managed.” You elbowed her gently, making the quiet girl jolt. “I-I wasn’t cheating!” She defended, “The exercise was about making it through without losing your footing, right? You did impressive, Ro-I mean, my lady. We were watching your match.” But as the two girls exchanged compliments, Marco only shrank in his place with a saddened expression.

“M-Marco! We didn’t mean to make you feel… uh..” you quickly find yourself getting tongue tied while Marie flinches when asked for assistance. “Oh! I forgot that I still have to finish some reading for school.” exclaims your friend as she nervously shuffles away, “I-I’ll uhh, see you at dinner!”

Abandoned in the awkward situation without a clue how to make him feel any better, you stammered out some kind of meek apology to excuse yourself,

“Wait! Rozenn,”

He calls just when you turned your back on him.

“I-I mean, miss-.. _my lady!_” he finally blubbered out, anchoring his gaze to the stone floor as his cheeks brightened from his own behavior. “Sorry. I know I’m nowhere near as good as you guys. But I tried to copy your evasion methods.” He confessed, toying with the laces of his tunic.

“What?” panic rose in your eyes, “You know it’s not something I made happen overnight! I trained long for that, you could have permanently damaged a limb!”

“I know! I know, I-” he takes a step forward with a lifted hand to calm you down, “I just.. I really admire you a lot, my lady. From the very beginning. You’re very talented! And I want to be like you someday!”

That definitely knocked the air out of your lungs. You didn’t know he looked up to you _that_ much. Marco is twice as timid as his older sister and often needed a lot of protecting from the bullies but it never crossed you that he had dreamt of being braver. With everything you’ve got, you held back the idiotic smile creeping up your reddened face, “W-what? Why me?”

“Ahh- this sounds embarrassing but my dream is to be by your side when you fulfill your duty as the Dragonborn!”

Marco’s silly beam is greater than a concentrated ray of sunshine blinding you every morning. That’s it. That’s when you accepted how the bashful boy won your heart. And it is that very moment as well that you pledged yourself in becoming worthy of the title, dedicating the next few years in training and improving—all so that you can be someone they deserve to follow, someone who can protect these people.

_‘I’m sorry.’_

You wake up in cold sweat, the name of that person barely whispered out as you sharply exhaled. The deep wound stung from your sudden movement, misty breath clouding your vision. Inigo isn’t here. _‘Must be gathering some twigs for the fire.’ _You thought when you see the sun almost setting on the western horizon.

There was something else registering in your hearing. Flapping of wings and it’s somewhere near… Somewhere on _top _of your tent?

Stepping out cautiously, you see a hawk settling on the snowy branch above your shelter. A tiny parchment is attached to it. Wide eyes in bewilderment, the ghastly shimmer of the animal meant only one thing for you.

You eye the piece of paper crumpled at the end of your bedroll. _‘I should write a reply soon…’ _echoed endlessly inside your head but your limbs feel numb, hunched over inside a sturdy tent, wrapped in your cloak whilst consumed with trembling from the cold. Wispy smoke spread forth as you let out a deep meditative breath, closing your eyes with your hand travelling down the stab wound. Silently you prayed. For it to work, for it to last, for you not to waste magicka just by achieving little to no progress. The warm energy soothed your freezing skin and it felt good for a few moments. There it is… wounds closing but not enough. It still ached underneath the skin; your magic can’t reach without the help of a stronger healing potion.

_Work, damn it!_

Unwilling to accept your lack of competency, magic kept surging out and into your slowly healing wound. But your traitorous thoughts keeps getting in the way, disrupting your focus with surreal sensations of veins on fire and causing your magic to waver. Capable healers, greater potions, scrolls and incantations are bloody pricey and so it automatically crosses itself out of your options. You can always get by with minor healing potions to ease the daily pain but by the time it closes, there will be a scar. The thought brings forth a frown—you don’t want this reminder, this evidence of betrayal permanently marked on your body. There’s got to be a way to push past this obstacle. Maybe if you just persist a little more...

“You like to get in a bit of trouble, don’t you, my little rascal?” The robed woman mutters as she helps you pull out of your corset.

“Mom, I can handle a bit. Marco’s father gives us more trouble than this.” you laughed. “An injury is still an injury. Come, let me heal that wound before it festers.” Gently brushing off her caring hands, you gave it a sincere squeeze which earned you a light embrace. “It’s just a graze. I know you’re already tired from the temple. Why don’t I brew you some tea?” You offered instead after feeling how light your mother had become over their strenuous work in the Imperial City. She used to weight more last year. Just how much were you missing while spending time with Tappy... A twinge of guilt briefly settles in your gut before her smile catches your attention.

“That sounds lovely. Why don’t you come to your father and I for healing lessons for a change?”

You pass her a smug grin while eyeing the graze on your shoulder, “Eh... Maybe next time. Why would I need that anyway when I have the best healers in the same house?”

Mother laughed heartily. She always entertained your antics. “The prophesied hero. Always a joker. I bet you’ll make your enemies laugh until they surrender.” You felt yourself blushing a bit from the silly praise. It was always good to know you’re destined for greatness. It’s one of the reasons why you willingly familiarized yourself with the ways and art of combat. The exhilarating feeling of excelling and overcoming your previous records always made you feel powerful. And by the Divines’ do you love power. It made the people you admire proud whenever you earn it. It gave you courage; an immeasurable confidence that you can protect your own kin.

“Come now, you never know when you’ll find it useful especially on little grazes like this one.” She beckoned, tapping the space beside the sofa she just sat on.

_“Mother knows best.” That’s the saying._

_ You should have just listened..._

_ That prophesy never came true._

_ ...You’re not invincible. Not even close to a hero._

“My friend..? Your nose!”

Inigo’s sharp voice makes you blink back to reality. He was saying something about dinner and blood and you found it hard to concentrate with your head pounding like a drum. Inigo came back with a clean rag and now he’s wiping your face, still speaking and evidently panicked by your state. “M’fine...” Was all you had muttered before blacking out.

You awoke shortly to the smell of roasted meat. _‘What happened? And why am I lying down again..?’_ Cloudy yet steadily you regain your senses, sighting a furry tail from the person seated in front of the fire outside your tent. “... Tappy..?” It came out in a whimper but it was loud enough to catch the khajiit’s attention. He calls you, helping you up and asking if you are alright. “Oh.. Inigo.” you blinked.

“...Yes?” Quickly setting aside being puzzled by your tone, he reaches for your forehead, cupping your face and continued to ask how you are feeling.

“Hungry.” you chuckled lowly and watch him ease up with a gentle smile. The hawk’s flapping interrupts your moment of calm. Crap, there’s still the letter! Shuffling around, you got your hands on the crumpled parchment, shredding Inigo’s jolly state into that of anxiousness once more. You shot him a worried look and he shrugs, knowing full well what’s eating away at his friend. “This was bound to happen, my friend. You know they’ve been on our tracks for days now. Maybe we should wait and meet with them?”

“I want to see Marie as well... But I don’t know what to tell Lucien. _Gods_, I don’t even know how to face him or if I can even...” one of your nails found its way to your teeth to stop you from talking. For the several seconds, he lets you, until he had enough and gently takes your hand away. “My friend, we can pull this off. There’s a good chance that he’s with them because he accepts your situation. You know Lucien views you as a friend!”

“I lied to him, Inigo. Shamelessly at that, giving him bright smiles while I spout out some flowery bullshit through my teeth.” A pause and an apology had to take place, lest more vulgar words escape your lips. “Finding it out this way might have really disappointed him. I can’t..”

“Enough excuses. They left because of us. To follow us. They’re in the Pale the last time we checked. You know it’s hell traversing that region unprepared but they did so they can find us. It’s our responsibility to meet them halfway.” Inigo says, firmly rubbing your shoulders in hopes to impart some confidence, “They’re our friends. We shouldn’t be running away from them.”

The last line struck like a giant spear through the bones, opening a massive void in your chest. Figments of memories scattered and disorganized yet showing the same thing—_you getting away at the expense of other people’s lives. People you should have protected._

Your friend encouraging you to write back grounds you yet again. Why are these things pestering you now of all times... “I-I should... work on it..” stammering, the corners of your lips pulled in a lousy attempt of a smile as your assurance for your friend. He leaves only to panic about the meal being over roasted and you slink back to the comforts of the shadows, filling your mind with words to write down for your companions.

* * *

Auri was the first to catch sight of the hawk. It took around two days to return. The vigilant was about to step out of their cave when she motions for them to stop. “Four brigands. Hide. Both of you.” The least they have to do is battle every enemy that sights them and waste precious energies on making an escape. Thistlefoot in particular, while strong and handsome, still needs a lot of rest and nourishment to stay in his best shape. With Lyanna and Lucien sending her a thumbs-up, the bosmer lowers herself, nearly crouching as she leaned forward to scout the area. Picking an elevated cave never fails to work as an advantage. Seeing as the group plans on setting a camp, she had no choice but to find the perfect predator to scare them off. Relying on her sharpened hearing, she easily found a pack of wolves not far off the targets. All they need to do is to see a potential meal.

Glancing back to make sure Lucien isn’t looking, Auri closes her eyes, losing herself in the surrounding nature as she summoned a commandment for hungry animals to march forward. Soon the bandits were sent scuffling away. Good, at least they can use their brains. Not minding the bit of headache it granted her, the bosmer turns around to the two.

“Hoping for some good news?”

Lyanna’s eyes moved quickly from word to word until it stops on a certain name. Markarth. That’s way over West. But whatever they must do there, they will be sure to follow. “They said they’re willing to meet. But we may only be able to do so roughly a week from now.”

“What,” Lucien hurriedly reads the parchment upon getting informed, “Why not sooner?”

“They’ll wait for the two in Morthal. That should provide us time enough to stick by the hills. We’ll meet them in Cold Rock pass but we must hurry. I know a safe route to shorten our trip there.”

Despite this news, the scholar remained in low spirits. They could not fault him for it—the lady did include in her response how much she’s ashamed of Lucien. An apology he deemed unnecessary for she was his friend and he had faith in her heart being in the right place. If they could only meet instantly, they’ll be able to clear things and won’t have to go through this with a heavy heart.

“Worry not, Lucien. I’ll make sure your words reach her as fast as it can.” The vigilant gave him an assuring smile upon conjuring two more couriers with their reply. Miss Lyanna is a bit hard to read due to her passiveness but he can always feel her sincerity especially when it’s for her mistress’ well being.

Little by little, this adventuring is changing him as well. If this happened the first time they met, he might have been found on the first carriage out of Skyrim. Who would have thought how much growth one individual can have in a few months? Sure, Candle lied to him, they _all_ did, technically—but it doesn’t dispel the relationship they’ve built. That one, he knows with all his heart, was not built on top of lies and fake smiles. That’s not him being naïve, that’s just the truth.

He was with her all the way when she faced those cultists and that mystifying daedra for crying out loud! Her turning out to be a thief won’t faze him in the slightest.

Finding out that she was not as noble as she appeared, well, that changed his view of her but not in a negative light. If he felt anything bad, it was that nobody told him sooner. They could have provided help and she didn’t have to go through it alone. But he guessed that was the thing with her—she keeps secrets to protect, not to hide. Starting today, that has to change.

They’re a team. And they’re friends. He knows these people are reluctant to form lasting bonds due to their risky lifestyles but he’s not going to be deterred by that. If there’s a problem, they won’t be running away from it. They’ll face it together.

* * *

A little treat for you guys bc I've hit a block; _<strike>I repeat, I've hit a block, send memes!</strike>_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: The MC used to have an adoring fan, too. ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄  
Also the author: Wow I'm evil.
> 
> Hope ye like that hehe. :)) Again, (and of course xd) I'm using my OC to play as the LDB/MC in artworks for Spark but you can always freely re-image your own OCs in it XD. I made it while having "Adoring Fan - Star" and "Dagothwave" both by young scrolls on repeat! ٩( ᐛ )و٩( ᐛ )و٩( ᐛ )و
> 
> P.S. Don't ask me why I keep drawing without colors, the answer is the same: I am lazy ‘`( ꒪Д꒪),､


	43. Discussions, Deflections, and Dummies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding rest and reuniting with the others, the group did have quite a lot to catch on. Caught in such a stressful situation, their discussions turned into a game of deflection. Any topic will do, just not the most important one.

**042**

**Discussions, Deflections, and Dummies**

Mountain flowers didn’t bloom all that much where they are but Karliah still went out to face the harsh climate to gather all she can. The dark linen that held her scavenged flora looked like it had seen better days but it was the dunmer’s last one; she did her best to make it look as presentable as it can.

And despite all the healthy colors she found, it only added to the emptiness inside her.

“Is that everything?”

The whistling of the wind quickly drowned out the quiet greeting of a fellow thief. ‘Candle’ is what she says she’s called. A former thief of Cyrodiil brought to Skyrim under circumstances she only knows so little about. Yet she is not without sense. If anything, greed is the least of all possible reasons why she’d chosen to walk this kind of path.

Candle trudged beside her; both hands wrapped around her beneath the dunmer’s spare cloak. They both know her wound is far too deep at the moment but still the young woman offered her assistance in preparing Gallus’ burial. If only he had been here, Karliah knew he’ll be proud to welcome someone like her in their guild.

They both stared at the pile of snow, momentarily keeping their thoughts to themselves. There were no rites, no prayers spoken, or any emotional speech from the dark elf. Just her eyes firmly anchored at the spot on the ground, trying her damnedest to keep composed.

Every muscle on her face felt like thin brittle ice on the sun’s height.

She thought she had gotten over this.

Two decades. More than two decades, her life revolved around hiding. Not only has Mercer Frey stolen her lover, he had stolen her very life. She can never be seen, cut off from all opportunities and could never go back to normality. Not while that bastard isn’t brought to justice. Until the seeds of hate slowly rooted out. All she ever did was to plot, every waking moment dedicated in cursing the existence of the man who had destroyed everything that connects her to her home, her family.

But just today she’ll let a part of her mourn Gallus’ death.

Karliah placed down the flowers, a silent promise slipping past her lips which the lass didn’t caught. She hasn’t left and stood with her for the whole time even when the cold is not doing her wound any favors. Brynjolf really has an eye for unique potentials.

“I don’t feel any better.” She muttered. Candle stood like a behaved child, eyeing the dark elf’s hunched figure. “I lost everything... _We_ lost everything. And he’s still out there free as a bird.” Bitterness was thick in her voice, brimming like a volcano that’s about to erupt. “My soul will never find peace until he’s paid in blood.”

“I know.” Finally, the young lady spoke. It was soft, so soft and calm; Karliah realized how swept away she was with fury. “Apologies... I just couldn’t...” she sniffled, blinking the tears away.

“.... I know.”

Even when Karliah glanced at her, there was something else in the lady’s eyes. Something distant; a look of forlorn sunken deep under the deep hue of her eyes. Karliah wondered if the person beside her sees something else aside from Gallus’ grave. Perhaps she knows of this pain or perhaps her empathy is simply far greater than she wants to reveal. However, the dark elf knows that they do share one thing in common,

Life hasn’t been very kind to both of them.

* * *

** _Present time, City of Morthal..._ **

Dirty looks and skepticism are what defines a warm welcome for travellers—at least under the standards of Morthal’s citizens. Distrustful eyes were constantly pinned on them ever since they walked in on the city gates. If they were so cautious about outsiders maybe they shouldn’t allow them inside at all. Seems like the swamps marshes around this humble city has affected the brains of its people.

“Now a pretty thing like you need not to worry about the townsfolk. They’re always wary of outsiders.”

The barmaiden greeted and you can tell she’s trying to charm you both. “For one, they like their isolation. I suppose that’s reasonable given what this country has fallen into. Name’s Alva, by the way.” Raven haired and has little regard for how much her garments are failing to cover her bosom, the ravishing beauty who calls herself Alva stayed for a bit after she served your orders. She’s too eager to hear about your stories outside the walls, you’ll give ‘er that, but the least you two need is a gossip. It’s easy to hear things without prying—just sit inside the inn when it’s crowded. One will never believe the amount of information they can extract within an hour.

“We’re trying to find our way to the Reach, quieter out there, y’catch me? But we ran short on supplies so we had to stop by the city. You can uhm, tell your people we won’t be staying long.” You put on a polite front.

“That’s a shame. We have too many fine men here,” For a second you catch her eyeing some man in a lumberjack’s uniform seated across the hall. “Rare beauties like us should stick around a bit to at least spice things up here.” She winked before attending to another group of patron, no doubt using her loosely fitted attire to capture their attention and adoration. Funny that. She almost looks like a wench despite this inn not having any.

“Sorry,” You leaned towards the khajiit munching on potatoes beside you, “would’ve gotten you some company but that one looked she needed a gallon of cleansing potions.”

“Heh. She almost emits the same presence as Haelga. Just smellier.”

“Gross, Inigo.” You chortled.

“I am just saying..!” He whispered, “She doesn’t smell like the average human.”

He said it like it was nothing but the comment startled you. “What do you mean? She doesn’t smell like one?” That lady did not stuck as a wizard in disguise. Or a daedra at that. You should know; you had one inside you for long enough. The presence should be at least be recognizable to you. Is he saying Alva’s not human?

“I.. don’t know. She just doesn’t smell like the rest. I don’t mean that in a good way, if that’s what you’re asking.” Inigo scratches his nose.

“Did you mean that she hasn’t bathed in ages?”

“You can put it that way. If she did, it smells like she’s doing it in the swamps.”

Light hearted chuckling erupted, “Make sure you don’t mention that to anyone. What do I smell like?”

Inigo takes a second to value your sincerity and leans close to take a sniff. “Wah~ you’re still keeping those? You smell like flowers!” the two of you engages in a friendly struggle until he victoriously reached the pouches on your bandolier. “Why do you keep picking these up? I told you, put something more important in there and the ingredients can go _inside _the bag.” Lecturing you in between laughs, he hands you down the slightly bent stem of Lavenders you picked just before entering the city.

“It’s because both of us doesn’t remember the recipe to that tea you taught me.” You said, missing the way Inigo suddenly froze. “When Karliah was nursing me back to health, she kept giving me herbal teas that made me feel nostalgic.” You rambled on how Karliah gave you the list of ingredients she usually included and that you’re trying to modify it to hit as close as possible to the one you’ve been seeking for months now.

“T-that’s quite a quest, my friend. Don’t you think it’s just a regular tasty beverage, though?”

“I’m sure there’s a recipe. Don’t worry, I’ll let you get a taste so we can find out faster.”

Inigo didn’t seem so responsive with your news; perhaps dragging a limping bastard like you has finally taken toll. Later on as you book a room you two can share, your eyes wander idly around the inn while the innkeeper makes arrangements. Curiously enough, it lands on a little girl, not past the age of ten by the looks, running with a smile towards his father—the same lumberjack that Alva woman was intensely gazing at earlier. She’s definitely not the wife, nor is she the girl’s mother,

“Room’s ready, missy. I’ll take you folks there, just follow me.”

“Sure, let me just grab my partner.”

...and you definitely don’t want to get involve with it.

* * *

“Go to Dunstad Grove, catch a ride... North or South... Hmm. North will be faster and more expensive while South we can drop off to Granite Hall... be on foot but it’ll take more time—oh..?”

Inigo’s snoring disrupts your writing. You rock back from your seat and find the khajiit resting soundly. That’s probably the best sleep he’s had since the Sanctum. Your lips curl in a gentle chuckle, _‘Inigo deserves that. Get all the rest you can, buddy.’ _you thought as you put down the quill. Waking up hours before sunrise, you decided to use the time to run some inventory checks and tally the expenses for the upcoming journey. So far, things are under control but you worry that your medical needs might get in the way, unless Marie can lend you a hand once you meet.

Morthal isn’t all bad for all the three days you’ve stayed in it. Despite the marshes out there, following River Hjaal out into the northern horizons lead to an open view of the Sea of Ghosts. There’s not much to behold but the empty clearing is relaxing to look at. The gentle wave of the waters, scattered snowbanks littered with animals basking in daylight, it almost looks like a painting from this distance.

Distant laughter reels your attention and you look down the balcony of your rented room, only to spot a woman playing hide and seek with a young girl who resembles her. They carried a basket of bread and water walking towards the bridge. Well, at least there are those who knows how to smile in this town. Idly observing the two, they came to stop at the mill; giving the basket to the familiar man at the inn. Oh. So that’s the wife. Blinking away from them, you looked up, slipping away from reality.

....

...

..

For the longest time, you could only hear a steady hum and feel the unseen force of magic circling, swirling weightlessly around your head.

“My lady? What are you..”

Marie’s face slides into view, dispelling the trance you’ve put yourself in. It’s not good that she saw you performing it. Not giving into panic, you dismissed the mana flowing out of your palms and remained seated on your straw bed. It’s not what you used to have in High Rock but... nothing’s really the same anymore, is there? It’s already a miracle enough that you all made it this far in the wilderness without being found out.

“What was that about?” The maiden peeking at the door asked.

“Just a meditative exercise.” You lied. Nowadays, the act feels more and more natural, thanks to Tappy and some other friends in the guild who ran with you. And the more you did, the less guilt it came with.

“Are you sure, my lady?”

“I can’t exactly hone my skill out there in the open, yeah?”

“Well.. If you say so. Will you join us for dinner? It’ll be ready soon.”

“I’ll be there. Just leave me alone for a bit to wrap this up.”

As easy as breathing. To the point you’d even lie at your family’s face and not feel the least bit sorry for it. After all, you’re not doing anything bad, just-..it’s just something they don’t have to know.

...

“Something worrying you, my friend?”

Taking your head out of the clouds, you whipped around to see your friend inside. Inigo who had busied himself with some minor maintenance of weapons takes notice of your apparent unease. These memories… you can’t seem to trace them in place.

“Nothing much. I’m just anxious to meet them.”

“Excitement or fear?”

“...Can it be both?”

A loud, impatient knock on the door startles you both, causing Inigo to straighten up and ask who it is.

“Inigo? Is that you on the other side?” Basing on the amount of clunking and weight of their steps, they seemed to be armed and the man who spoke is out of breath. _‘Could it be...?’ _Your stomach began twisting in knots and you endure the race of your pulse. Sensing no danger, you nodded for the blue friend of yours to open it.

Out on the doorstep stood Kaidan—wild eyed, covered with snow and nearly on the verge of collapse. Inigo gives space as he barges in,

“Kaidan! You look like you could–”

“–Use some rest? You tell me. Damn right, I could. I will.” He grunts rather exasperatedly, giving Inigo a quick handshake and a pat to the back. “Where is...” the swordsman silently catches his breath when red eyes landed on a woman awkwardly standing at the other side of a double bed. _Were they sharing a bed?—_Wait, that’s not the point. Worry and relief flooded in as well as overwhelming surprise, like that of seeing someone up from the grave. Kaidan needed a moment or two processing all the emotion running awake inside him. Her eyes are slightly sunken than he’d last seen; looking worse for wear and thinner from the past events, no doubt.

Suddenly, curiously, he had the urge to pull her in. Embrace her? Maybe, he doesn’t know—he just needed to grasp her, touch her, know she’s real even when the evidence is crystal clear. Slowly her eyes widened in recognition, lips quirking to speak up,

“Hey g—_mffp!_”

Bashful greeting was abruptly cut off when Rumarin throws himself between them, closing the gap with his arms coiling around her—much to Kaidan’s annoyance.

“Mara’s heart, you’re alright! You got me worried!” the elf exclaimed, keeping her so close that he’d almost lift her up had he intended to. Her response included mumbled out words and plenty of back rubs before she pulls away, eyes bounced on him to Kaidan.

“You two had a journey.”

This made the bladebinder quiver, shuffling quickly to get behind her and... _hide _despite him being very, very much taller and the attempt being in vain. “That we did. Now stand between me and that man until he drops all intentions of murdering me in my sleep.” Rumarin begs of the lady, his arms clinging around her neck as he tries to make himself appear smaller.

“I, what-”

“Just get outta here. I’ve to talk to her.” Kaidan glowers.

“Do I really have to?”

“Only if you keep being a pain in the arse like that, aye.”

_“AHEM!”_

Inigo intervenes, arms crossed as his boots tapped grumpily on the floorboards. The woman lightly shook her head in laughter, mouthing her thanks for putting a stop to this silly couple. “As much as we missed this kind of energy, I believe we have more important things to discuss. Like say, meeting the others as soon as possible, yes?”

“If you two can sit down to listen without murdering each other, we’d appreciate that.” Candle smiles dearly at them, zestfully running her hands on the elf’s arms. “Also, you’re a bit heavy, Rumarin. My wound’s going to open.”

“Oh! My bad, my ba—wait, where is this wound if you don’t mind?” The disturbing announcement diminishes the altmer’s elation in a snap, gaining Kaidan’s full attention as well.

She waves her hand in breezy motions, asking both of them to take a sit. “Now, now, I’ll tell you, but you two have to promise me not to freak out.” And tell her companions what happened at the Sanctum she did. About Gallus, about Karliah, Mercer’s betrayal and the deep wound punishing her every step of the way; she shared ‘em all in details with her best efforts. Even going as far as unbuckling her attire to give them a view of how little the stab has improved, what with the lack of decent healing and the climate adding to its soreness.

Needless to say, they freaked out.

“Stendarr’s bloody eyes, I can’t believe you did _literally _the only thing I asked you not to do.” You wheezed; and whether that was due to the weight of your freshly stocked rations or just personally giving up trying to get a grip on things, you couldn’t care less. The lot of you had no other choice but to occupy yourselves with trading and bartering for items after Jonna, the innkeeper kicks your group out for causing disruption. Should’ve known they’re far less understanding especially with outsiders. Er, you did try telling your companions. Bad news is you’ve only got a few hours of daylight to burn. But on the bright side, your travel starts ahead of expected time.

“You sound way too overjoyed for someone that just got thrown out into this blasted snow.” Kaidan surmised as he helps you up on Inigo’s horse.

“Are you actually real, Kaidan? Didn’t you hear Rumarin earlier, because last I checked, you still had ears!” This laughing has to stop, lest the wound opens and it’ll be your undoing.

“WHAT??” Rumarin whines, and gods how you missed their company, “What is it with me again??”

“Oh but you were bleating like a sheep!” Inigo snickers as he adjusts the reins.

“I sounded no such thing!... Is that what you thought I’d say?” the high elf made an amused chuckle himself, “Joke’s on you ‘cuz I had intended to make it sound like so. I thought it’d be funny.”

The crimson eyed man groans at the infernal cycle of this chatter. “Bet you didn’t thought it’d get all of us kicked out.”

“That I did not indeed.”

* * *

** _Days later, Cold Rock Pass..._ **

A content sigh escapes Kaidan as he stretches his back, finally liberated from the burdens of his armor. It had been a few days after Morthal and getting a place where the warmth of fire can actually be felt proves to be a nice change of pace. Despite the ice claiming most of the cave, it kept the winds out which he thanked the Nine for. First watch is on him and so he made himself comfortable on a huge boulder near camp; angled enough to allow him view of the distant path without revealing his location.

“Can I interest you with a cup of Triple Berry Tea before I rest?”

The swordsman’s brow quirks in amusement. “Triple?”

“Huckleberry, Snowberry, Blueberry. I believe Rumarin bartered with a merchant a few days back in Morthal and bought a bag of it to chew on the road. Would be a shame if some just expired so I asked him to give me any leftovers.” his employer told him. The gentleness in her voice began to translate more and more into exhaustion, despite her efforts of hiding it. Kaidan accepts the cup of tea she offered and taps the place beside him. She nodded her thanks, slowly easing herself against the rock before they drank in mutual peace. This... isn’t as awkward or uncomfortable like he pictured. Maybe he really was just overthinking things.

Falling into relative silence almost brings him back to their early days. Several things had changed since then. Spending his waking moments with an insufferable, riotous bunch whom he’d come to care for being one of those. He glances at her, lids lowered as she enjoys keeping her beverage warm. How she manages to avoid looking troubled after everything that’s happened is a wonder.

Just picturing Mercer’s act of betrayal really makes the blood boil. He’ll make sure that son of a bitch pays even if gets him skewered. _‘Candle probably wouldn’t like that...’_ He countered in his mind. Their lady friend will most likely avoid getting any of them harmed or unnecessarily dragged in the conflict. Not that he claims to know her thinking pattern—it’s only until recently that she began opening about herself, after all.

She’s not... trying to keep all of these to herself, is she?

“Does it hurt?”

Kaidan knew some scars might find colder climates unfavorable, but he’d caught her more than once wincing with a hand reflexively moving to where the stab is. And he figured they could finally chat about her personal insights on the matter, especially now when the wind isn’t blowing through their bloody ears.

“What does?” she tipped her head sideways, flashing him an innocent look. “Guildmaster’s betrayal? The consequence of my stupidity? Or did you mean running out of sweetrolls _now _of all times?”

That’s.... some pretty heavy things to put out just like that. Wait a minute, she just avoided discussing the situation by answering with the truth! There’s no way he’ll get to press the topic now without appearing like an insensitive douche bag. This woman is a menace.

“You’re... joking about what happened?”

“Would you rather I cry about it?” her giggle ended with a soft sigh, “I-I know what you mean, it’s just... I think I’ve put Inigo through much already on the first days. The time for mourning is over, for now. And you’re finally here so let’s not dwell on it.” she looks at him. “I’m just glad to see you again.”

He’d tell her the same if it were not so uncharacteristically embarrassing for him. But what matters is that they’re all in one piece. Kaidan held the stare for a couple of seconds and decided to drop the curiosity clawing at him. “As am I, that’s for sure. Do you have the slightest idea what it’s like to travel with Rumarin?”

“I’d expect it to be fun. He’s a charming guy after all.” she hummed.

“Sure, if by ‘fun’ you meant getting chased by wild creatures no matter which path you take.”

Candle snorts on her drink and—surprising as it is—made Kaidan laugh. Well, he suppose this is better than succumbing to depression.

Just in time, Rumarin peeks in with the small pot in his hands and brightens up when he finds Candle. “Hey boss, I know you’re dying from poison and all, but can you uhh, re-heat this tea real quickly?”

“Sure-”

“From _what?_” Kaidan interjects. “Why didn’t I hear of this?”

It turns out, Inigo revealed to the high elf that while their friend has been cured of Karliah’s poison, the antidote did very little for the one Mercer imbued on his blade. The effects are nothing deadly but it prevents the cells from recovering at the rate it should. It’s almost hilarious. The poison meant for the other both ended up on the unsuspecting thief caught _literally _in the middle.

Kaidan had his fair share of dealing with poison. Restoration spells can only help so much; say, speed up the regeneration back to normality. Not unless any of them can cast a healing spell powerful enough to burn the toxin out of the system, the options for such conditions are as follows:

_‘Wait it out, moderate healing, or cleansing methods.’ _He listed in his mind.

Clerics directly working under the government and army are rumored to be able to invoke divine power, or ‘instant healing’ in less complicated terms, and on more powerful instances, these people can heal everything at a large scale in a snap. But instead, time and dedication are poured into developing other schools. It’s a shame, really, and Kaidan couldn’t be bothered finding out the reason why.

“Are you spacing out?” Rumarin snaps his fingers. “Oh. I believe our guard is growing weary.”

“Don’t.” Kaidan threatens, “I will strangle you in your sleep, I swear.”

“I’ll get you two a room first inn we stop by or you can just go at it here later. We shall not judge.” Candle cheekily laughs but immediately veers the conversation before the two can vocally protest “Either way, I plan to find an apothecary in one of the towns we stop by. Karliah offered to try but I already declined for I have to stay with her if she were to brew me a potion. That and my healing is just draining out my mana.” her lips formed a smile but her sigh was plenty dismayed.

“I... had wondered. You proved to be very capable in magic, daedra powered or not.” The high elf tugs at the collar of his robes as his eyes strayed off, “So what’s keeping you from being effective with yourself?”

“You should know even if you just conjure weapons.” she scoffs, placing her hands around the pot. “The answer’s very simple. I’m distracted.”

Kaidan made a face that screamed ‘I don’t understand anything you two are spouting’ and so it fell upon them to at least elaborate a little more. He has to understand, even a self-proclaimed halfwit like Rumarin knows it doesn’t take a huge mana pool to be a powerful mage. A spell’s intensity comes from intellect and will; y’know, _brainpower_, actually knowing what the spell does _and _intending it to do what it says it will. And _then _that’s where the magicka discipline comes in handy. Stronger effects tax the brain but a disciplined mind can manage more spells and will allow them to cast consecutively, so long as their brain hasn’t given up yet. Still though, it’s terribly easy to interrupt a mage from casting; just disrupt their thoughts, their focus, and you tip the tides to your favor.

It’s also the reason why a lot of bandits and thieves rarely deal with actual magic. Knowing a spell takes time and ability to read, in which case, most of them can’t. You’ll have more swings done before a novice can finish casting one incantation.

Then there are those more advanced like them. Those who’d perfected some or just a single spell to the point it had become second nature. To Rumarin, calling forth a lesser entity in Oblivion to become his weapon is as easy as reciting the alphabet; same with Candle whose spells she had forged in her core, thus have little to no need for incantations to guide in the shaping of her magic.

“And ‘forged in her core’ means?” The swordsman, much to the duo’s pleasant surprise, is actually taking interest. “Means that when I swing a blade, I couldn’t care less how it is done, only that I hit something. To weave a spell is to treat it as an extension of you.” She happily indulged the man’s thirst for information. “Magic, like the sword, can’t be half-assed in battle. We need to _know_ how to swing a blade and with it we must _intend _to strike our foes down. Otherwise, we’re just waving the thing in the air.”

Kaidan slowly nodded, it’s slow but he thinks he’s able to comprehend this. He cups his chin and stares intensely at the pot, ignoring the altmer stifling a laugh with Candle. “So if I’m catchin’ this right, you can’t focus for long or do so at all when healing yourself. And this... _distraction_ prevents your magic to amplify.”

“That’s fast. But he got that right.” Rumarin grins proudly at the woman. “Now that the boring lessons are out of the way, will you tell us what’s getting in your way—or should I say _‘in your head’_?”

The swordsman’s eyes nearly reached the heavens when he rolled it, meanwhile his employer was nothing short of delighted. “You’ve no idea how much I missed you,” she smirks and was barely able to contain a laugh “Anyway, I suppose I’ll share. It’s nothing serious. There were a few times I filled my veins with toxic elements if you remember, yes?” Candle looks at them knowingly and they nod back. “Those weren’t the only times. There had been... similar incidents before.. before everyone. Every time I perform it on myself, I feel like I won’t be healing. I’m just waiting for my nerves to sting, my skin to wither. It’s all I ever imagine whenever healing magic hits me.” she almost choked at the end, evidently tapping into an unpleasant memory.

Her honest confession was deeply appreciated yet the two seemed to be at a loss how to continue the discussion. “I-I’m sorry... I didn’t mean that to sound so.. uhm... Rumarin, you were getting a refill?” she croaked, getting uncomfortable herself as they fall into silence once more.

Rumarin and Candle read each other like signposts, dodging personal topics, throwing witty punch lines when one of them comes close to anything emotional and generally keeping the discussion as far away from things that might remind them of the grim situation. In short, their talks were all but shallow trivialities but if that helped them remain spirited, Kaidan will allow it. Might even play along with them—

“Quiet. I see a torch.” he whispered sharply.

Their shadows on the other side were the first ones she spotted. Bandits, she thought—_hoped _even, but when the numbers halted at three, her nerves shot up; a lump formed in her throat and all too suddenly, blood left her face, the thing in her chest pounded so hard she thought it’d break free as unrest settled in her belly.

What was she so anxious for? Nothing bad was going to happen.

Even as they step closer to each other now, Candle felt more and more ashamed. The weight of her actions dawned heavily on her as Lucien comes into view behind Marie and Auri. Nothing. She can’t find anything to say so her eyes darted everywhere but the scholar’s face. Her _friend’s _face. None of her actions were justified and she knew this. She expected him to frown, to scold her at least; tell her she hurt him and question their friendship. She has to be punished somehow—otherwise, none of this will make sense.

_“That’s the thing with friends, right? We don’t always make sense.”_

There's that soothing voice again. A friend lost in the past.

_ "Where’s the fun in understanding everything?”_

How can Lucien still firmly hold her hands, give her the brightest smile?

How can he still call her his ‘treasured friend’ and express how worried he was with them?

Why do their words fill her with warmth—she hasn’t felt this for so long. Marie was smiling, but something in her expression felt akin to hers. This was what they were seeking in the first place, right? Is she still worthy? Can she start over with them?

Auri’s hands grazes softly against her cheek.

“You’re such a thick headed girl.” she smiled. “I told you, we’re here for you.” she said, squeezing your arm as if to tell you they’re not just a figment of imagination.

And with watery eyes you finally meet Lucien’s eyes; “Whatever happened, I will listen. We’ll listen. We’ll help you through this.” His blue eyes flooded with nothing but sincerity. “Then I’ll scold you afterwards, it depends. We’ll see, we’ll see.” he happily adds, “What are we if not a dysfunctional family, right?”

Lips trembling, words came out with a shaky breath,

“I.. You’re not mad that I’m… me?” your voice cracked.

A laugh escaped the blonde imperial, “I’d be mad if I came all this way and you’re not yourself! Really! Though the snow was astounding, I must admit. Oh we really need to play outside for a bit, see we don’t experience a lot of snow in the Imperial City and then-” he began rambling but what’s not to love about that?

The next breath you took was when they suddenly pulled you in for a hug—and it was liberating, it is. Calming the storm inside, the burden of your situation lifted and you’re once again reminded that, while you are partially to be blamed in dragging everyone in this problem, these people will not accept it if you keep them from helping. Those tears you were holding back spilled one after another and everyone was glad to ignore it as they’re reaching out to you, the _real _you; a dumb idiot yearning for a family.

_ “Rozenn. You should know that all three of you are dummies.”_

“You’re all dummies you know?”

“Oh we know. We follow your example, supreme commander.” Lucien cheerily responded. 

_ "But I love you all anyway.”_

“But I love you all anyway.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right now, I'm listening to a song that really shapes Lucien and the MC's relationship so far. (I'll gladly share it next chap!) See here, I had to drag the TG questline so Lucien would already know MC/LDB in a much better perspective before confronting the reader about their thieving sideline. Everyone in the group don't possess the level of sunshine Lucien has, not even Auri (Auri is the "I gibs inner strength" type of companion!) and while the MC can keep a cool head on tough situations like these, it just really feels nice to have someone actually vocalize their support and faith in you. Someone like Lucien. Friends like this baby boy don't mean to make you cry but they'll definitely have your back whether it's practical or moral support!!
> 
> (And this is why we must keep sending love to our friends no matter how much they shitpost or joke their problems away! Humor can be a coping mechanism and we'll think they're always fine. No need to persuade them to talk, just a good hug or a sincere compliment; little things to let them know they have friends that care.（*’∀’人）♥)
> 
> P.S.  
Whew! That was mostly fluff for me >_< It's because I wanted to focus more on how everyone interacts now compared to when they all first met! I think we're getting there!


	44. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way back to Winterhold, Lucien is confronted by the harsh realities of surviving as an adventurer.

**043**

**Choices**

Hushed whispers circled the campfire. Not far from it, a bedroll is laid out and is occupied by a uniquely colored khajiit—a dashing blue fellow! Unconscious and unaware of the vultures, snickering and studying the sleeping hero as they prey on him at this very moment...

“Is he awake?”

“Let’s just tell him—” grumbles the man, shuffling to get up.

“_No! _Don’t you dare poke him.” you hissed at Kaidan as quietly as you can, pinning the deserter in place and pressing your arms on his shoulders. A wicked smile graces your lips as the swordsman allows you to rest your chin on top of his head. “Not yet.”

“He’s definitely not snoring.”

Lucien gasped silently, eyes expanding to the size of saucers. “He’s not...? Inigo must be dead.” But Rumarin just shrugged with a clueless face. He wears the expression like a natural.

“A mighty soul leaves this world.”

“Observe carefully, vigilant. The hero is still breathing...” Auri whispered over Lyanna. How these two are playing along is beyond Kaidan’s understanding.

“Ah! He’s stirring-, quick! Guys, move it!” Rumarin quietly beckons the rest to get in position and prepare themselves for the waking khajiit.

Kaidan resigned back to his post shaking his head; the rest crouched around their blue friend, faking tears and whatnot while welcoming him to the afterlife and remorselessly confounding Inigo.

“These things happen often?” Lyanna merely whispered nearby.

“No. But you can bloody expect there’ll be more of that from now on.”

“I hope you continue to accompany them.”

Kaidan glances down at the sitting lady. “Them? You mean you’re...?”

“Let’s not talk about it right now.”

“Suit yourself, vigilant.”

Silly as it is, he never knew just how much he actually missed them until now. If his mentor were here to witness what became of him, the old sod will no doubt laugh his head off. Kaidan thought the hardships he’d faced finally turned him to the person who raised him and that this was only befitting, seeing as he didn’t really made any plans of deterring from the kind of life he leads. But maybe, just maybe, the wheels of change are only starting to move. What can he say? People are the results of their choices. And right now he choose to stay with his friends.

* * *

“Mind blowing! Look at the engravings of this place!! Absolutely petrifying! Oh dear me, I might just live here for the rest of my days!” Lucien marveled at the sight of intricate designs carving every bit of stone in Calcelmo’s laboratory.

“That’s really not possible unless you can convince Calcelmo to adopt you.” Inigo quips, rifling through Aicantar’s desk, the court wizard’s nephew and apprentice. There were far more guards stationed here than what they’d anticipated. It’s a miracle that he and their breton companions managed to sneak in with Lucien attached to their hips. Thank the Gods for those invisibility potions and Lyanna’s strong illusion spells. The lad wouldn’t have it once he knew they were going to investigate Falmer language. Although his enthusiasm flipped rather hard when he realized they were going to perform a break in. But that’s either that or he stays in the museum with the others.

“Uhm. Actually, upon reconsideration,” The young man’s cheer dissipates. “I don’t think I’ll feel secured with a tower full of... hazards.”

“Agreed. Oh, found it!” Candle squeaks from the study table, holding up a key to Calcelmo’s tower.

It almost shoots over his head! The path through here—horrible! Traps all over the place and since the Deep Elves, the glorious Dwemer deemed it unsatisfactory, they had an entire hallway filled with toxic gas. Of course those were activated by pressure plates, oh how those vanished folks adore it. Whoever was the brain behind such designs clearly wanted the inhabitants to avoid getting drunk. Or maybe they used magic and levitated—it’s currently banned but who’s to say it wasn’t some sort of trend before their time? Perhaps the place was actually an obstacle course for the dwemer? No one will ever know.

It didn’t take long before they got what they came for and it was thanks to Lucien’s brilliant and quick thinking that they were able to get a copy of the ancient language. Imagine if only one person has to trace all of those confusing lines with a handful of parchments and charcoal. Every sane man’s nightmare. But that’s done and done and all that was left was to re-emerge in the vast museum like nothing happened.

“Hey sis, what were you making those guards see with the illusions?” Candle asked once they reached somewhere safe.

“Just something simple. A ghost.”

“On such a large scale? You’re making them think the place is haunted?” Lucien butts in, “What about those we had to erm, subdue- yeah, I think that’s the word.. So, you were making them drink something once they lost consciousness.”

The vigilant seemed a bit uncomfortable but conceded, “It was something exclusive to us Vigilants. A potion specially brewed to confuse the person’s memory, alter or even completely erase it to a certain degree depending on the concentration.” she explained.

“Oh. I-I see... Dare I ask if you know the substance they use? This sounds... intriguing.”

Lyanna scanned each of their eyes, interests piqued by the existence of such potion. “It is not. The mixture is heavy with moon sugar.” A deep sigh came afterwards. “Working against the daedra... It is no news when possession happens. People do gruesome things under their influence and when a cleansing is done, the victims may find whatever happened too horrid for them to live with. Thus, the organization produces these mixtures if the recipient is willing enough. But we cannot supply them plenty for it can give the same harmful effects of skooma.”

That did not sound like a very ethical practice but the imperial decided to hold his tongue.

“And before you ask, it is not forbidden to speak of this outside of our order. Though the alchemists highly discourage us to announce it to the public. Most would find it... immoral.” says Lyanna, glancing over them with wary eyes until discomfort paints her face. “Also, no. It’s not allowed for us to carry without permission.”

Her mistress narrows her eyes, “You don’t say... Do we-, do we want to know why?” she follows just before they reach the door leading back to the museum. The brunette maiden fidgets at the question, averting her gaze and sticking them on the floor. That answers their query.

Maybe they’re already asking too much.

* * *

** _Sun's Height, 4E 200, Somewhere in The Reach..._ **

Thumbing the rim of your cup, you sat in silence as the crackle of fire fill your head. Everyone has gone to bed and the only remaining ones are you, Kaidan, and Lucien who’s reading nearby. Neither of you are speaking yet unease won’t leave you. Everything’s settled. Lucien is here, everybody is with you on this. Even your sister is back. Are you still worried about what Lucien thinks of you now? As if sensing your distress, the swordsman approaches his unnerved companion.

“Are you alright?”

“I could ask you the same,” you mutter, knowing there are better things to discuss instead of yourself. “You seem adamant that we leave Markarth immediately.”  
Kaidan squints at this, “Did you not see the Thalmor back there in Understone Keep?” Oh that. Maybe you ought to find the man something to cloak his sword with. “But will you stop changing the topic. Let me ask about you. You look bothered.” he eyes you with concern, “Is it the medicine?”

“The one I got from the city, yeah.” After days of enduring from city to city, the girls finally found an apothecary selling strong cures. “It’s working but it’s also making me dizzy. My nerves won’t calm.”

The dark haired man gives your shoulder a gentle pat, “Must be side effects. Patients shouldn’t be staying up late in the middle of the night.” teases the guy and you shot him a curious look which he was eager to return. Ah, there he goes again with the intense gazing. You snorted, backing up a bit. “Woah, woah. You’re not going to, y’know, _again_??”

Kaidan flares up and it was the goofiest face you’ve seen, “What! Y-You actually think I would-.. I, not that you’re, well er, about that night, we..” words floundered as he tried to form a sentence, much to your entertainment. Oh, poking at this one never gets old. Just try and make sure not to do it on a daily basis unless you want him to hate your guts. Deciding to leave the poor ol’ guy before he explodes, you take your leave.

“Pfft. Relax. I’m only joking.”

“Ugh... There are better ways to get a laugh.”

You playfully patted his slumped shoulders, “I know, I know. But you’re the best for me.”

“What?” Both men in vicinity asked the same time. You glanced over Lucien whose attention you just caught and immediately reflected on your words. “Hmm. That sounded pretty normal in my head.” You said, brows knitted slightly. “Ah, well you know what I mean-” Just as you stood up, something hard knocks and sink on your unarmored back. Kaidan, reacting on instinct, stirs up from the log but is hit with an arrow on his left arm.

Panic fills the air, adrenaline bursts in and without thinking—you spread out your arms, ignoring the sharp pain it caused, and commanded a thick wall of ice to rise around your camp high—_as high as your magicka can reach._ Divines know you kept raising it till you felt Lucien cupping your face and forcing you to look at him.

“Stop-” he says, “Your nose! You’re bleeding, stop!” he cries and you noticed him blurring. Your vision’s blurring. Marie sweeps you before you fall on your back and you felt the others propping you up as someone wipes your nose. Kaidan’s pained groan catches your ear and you instructed Marie to bring you both healing and magicka potions. Everyone’s in a moment of disorientation, questioning the need for the wall but still putting on their gears and weapons.

“Help him up the stump!” You told them, glugging down a whole medium bottle of mana replenishment. “What are you looking at? Hold him down for me.” Tossing the bottle away, you clenched your fists, waiting for the potion to kick in.

“Alright, alright!” Rumarin helps Kaidan lean on the stump. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to do what I think you are going to.”

Ignoring the high elf’s words, you placed a hand just below the mark and locked eyes with the swordsman, “Sorry. This’ll hurt a bit but try minimizing the resistance.” Without waiting for confirmation, an illusion spell seeps into the wounded man’s head. Giving it a second or two, you began to yank out the arrow. Kaidan grimaces from the pain, flinching and turning a bit but not as much as he would hadn’t you given him a numbing spell beforehand. You can see Rumarin screwing his eyes shut and turning away. It’s good the arrow didn’t sank all that much, healing only took a few seconds.

Bloody ambush. If neither of them had moved the moment they did, the arrows might’ve really hit their heads instead. The protective runes they’ve placed were pretty wide in range. Just how far the enemies are? The ache in your back reminds you of your condition—damn that adrenaline; you almost forgot!

“Oi! If you two are done, get this fucking arrow on my back!” You howled at the two as you paid the others a quick glance. They’re all protected and Marie’s gathering info from her summons.

“Are you sure?” Kaidan presses a hand on the middle of your back as you gripped on the log.

“Get it out before I change my mind, fucking damn it!”

“Y’know it always amuses me to watch her shift into a completely different person.” Rumarin snidely remarks, holding down your arms, “If you wanna dig your fingers on something, please make sure it’s not my flesh.”

Shutting out every noise and focusing on the seconds that passed in your head, the numbing spell has barely taken effect when a ripping sensation tears in your flesh; sending waves and waves of pain and you nearly choked just downing every last drop of the health potion. It quickly douses the ache but the wound itself will have to take a few minutes to mend as it’ll cover the still recovering one on your side.

“Fuck.” You hissed, collecting your breath with Rumarin awkwardly patting your back. “I thought you guys said this area will be safe?”

“As safe as anyone can get in the Reach. We got to rest around a good few hours. Other travelers will get jumped on the spot. I say we’re lucky.” the altmer responded.

“Cut the bullshit. Have you heard any explosions outside?”

Rumarin scoffs a laugh. “No, miss hot head, there’s been none. Wait, you surrounded us with bombs?”

Inigo timingly jogs toward you, placing Lyanna’s bow and quiver on your hands. “Should we wrap up and make an escape? It’s getting pretty chilly in here.” He looks up at the high walls enclosed around them. “Listen...” As your group close in on each other, three of the runes activated. That’s two shock runes on the east and the frost one on the west. Chances are you’re surrounded right now and don’t have the luxury of tidying up before the spell dissolves. Glancing over your shoulder, you see Lucien being covered by Marie. “There are a lot of them. None of my summons returned.” she informs the rest.

They don’t really have much of an option in this.

“Arm yourselves. We’re making a stand.”

Steeling yourself, everyone gets in position—largely in cover of the scholar, and with your coordinated alteration with the vigilant, turned the glaciers into a blast of combined mist and shards, triggering the rest of the runes placed in vicinity. The trick elicited plenty screams of death but with the smog clearing out and Marie casting out a magelight, a curse escapes Kaidan.

There’s a whole fucking tribe of forsworn going down on your group.

* * *

_ **Some days ago before reaching Markarth...** _

Chimes jingled as the alchemy shop’s door closed behind them. Third town and still no luck. Dismay looms over Lucien at the sight of his friend disheartened for each day without a cure to the wound. However, he didn’t let it get in the way of cheering her up. Speeding up to her side, he flashes her a smile.

“I’m sure we’ll find some soon. Especially in a major city like Markarth.”

“I-.. Thanks, Lucien.”

“Are you alright? You can tell me what troubles you..” He prodded upon sensing her distracted.

Candle paid him a glance and motioned towards the stables where they’ll meet up with the rest. Obediently following her there, she revealed everything that she did for the guild. The theft, the inside jobs, messing up various business accounts from time to time to get some coin in her pockets before they met. Lucien admitted he was shocked and he’d half a mind to question her actions but was stopped short by her next words.

“I did it without a care for what’ll happen to my victims. What’s important to me was that it gave me aid to survive. And I’ve killed. Most of the time I had to. I may have already lost count.” She simply states. “I do not brag about this, nor do I feel enjoyment from such. I just had to do what I can to live and hide from my hunters. Lucien I know you do not understand any of these...”

“I-I.. well..” He can’t. She’s right, he can’t. None of her actions are justifiable for him but at the same time he can’t find any negative feelings for her. They’re friends. And on countless occasions, she proved herself to genuinely care for them, putting herself in front of danger to save him without asking anything in return. “Why are you telling me this...? You said you did this before we met. And aren’t you going to quit the guild after this?”

“I will... I just-, I guess I wanted to say that I’m not as blameless as you think I am. I don’t deserve this kind of compassion from you.” she crossed her arms, looking away. “You’re too good, Lucien... For all of us, really.”

Is that a compliment? He felt his cheeks heat up a little. “You’re hardly a clean slate. But I know you’ve a good heart. As of the rest! Deny it all you want, your actions outweigh your words.” he pouts, poking her shoulders playfully, “And if you tell me I should condemn you to jail, let me tell you my analysis: you, my pessimistic friend, can still do more good out here than behind bars.”

Candle stares at him for a long moment, like she’s reading right through him but cannot decide which way to respond. He didn’t say anything out of line, did he? Her lips presses firmly, “You don’t think I should pay for what I did?” she raised a brow.

“No.. Well, yes. I mean. Not generalizing here. My knowledge of you is still not much but it’s enough, I think. Enough to know you weren’t going to end up in the shadows if your family didn’t..” he fiddles with his tunic and looks down. “I’m so sorry. Er.. I mean to say that... you are incredibly talented. And if you really feel like you need to, why not be helpful out here instead of rotting in a cell?” That was awkward to get through but at least he was able to convey his thoughts without choking. “Without breaking the law, perhaps?”

She nods, a bit puzzled by the words coming out of the man beside her but uplifted nonetheless. With a timid smile, she accepted his judgment with a warning. “Lucien... Being helpful might not always mean abiding by the law.. Or doing a good thing.”

“I know that, I suppose. When I came here, I kind of expected... death. Even after I hired you. But we got by without having to kill enemies... right?”

Both of them knew that was just wishful thinking. The lady gently squeezed his arm, “There will be moments where we’ll have to make a choice.” she says, magnificent blue eyes reaching through him. “I’ll always choose to save you.”

He knows what she meant. Everyone in their group are capable fighters—surely it won’t have to result to bloodshed whenever they face a foe.

Never did he thought he’ll have to swallow his words too soon. Skyrim’s dangerous and so is adventuring. Why did he even said he understood the risk it accompanies? That was a big lie. Lucien lived a mostly sheltered life. What he knows about danger are only those that he has read of or heard from books and his mother. But to understand it—that’s something he hasn’t achieved. He thought he did, back when they were scaring off some bandits, and that time when he got kidnapped and nearly sold off, and even then in Camlorn as they face off a daedra.

It taught him a lesson, yes.

_“Inigo! Behind you!”_

But none came as extreme as she’s telling him.

_“Back up with Auri, I’ll take care of this!”_

Not one in those events has them pushed back like this.

_“Marie’s down! Argh-! Get off me! Inigo!!”_

Patches of fire are scattered. Fallen bodies littered the ground.

_ “There’s no end to them!”_

Over there, a savage is charging at him, death in his eyes.

_“Lucien! LUCIEN!”_

Blood. Why is his clothes covered in blood... He never got close to them.

Looking up, horror showers him at the sight of Rumarin standing in front of him. Few arrows are sticking out of his back and even then he’s still standing, blocking the warrior’s axe with his own bound sword. Its glow bright but dwindling, threatening to cease existing,

“Stand up...” he heard the elf’s strained voice, “....up and.. run..” Despite his limbs going numb, the imperial did so; digging his nails on the ground to drag himself back from the two ‘til his palm accidentally slid against something sharp. The sudden sting brings his attention to a blade, bloodied and discarded on the ground from a corpse. Paying Rumarin a final glance, he witnesses the forsworn push him back, hitting him with the pommel.

And t’was only then he finally understood Candle’s words.

Something snapped. He picked up the short blade, clutching it as tight as he can, giving no regard to the searing pain of the wound. And he charged. He just ran. Straight to the wild man, straight to his death, putting all his strength into it as adrenaline coursed wildly on his veins. There was no proper way to explain his action. It was either the enemy or his friend.

And he made his choice.

When the blade sank under the exposed heart, he kept pushing, every nerve of his screaming to take down the man, but he faltered—as if snapping out of an alcohol fueled deed, and for a second he realized what he’s doing. _‘I am trying to... kill someone.’_ The shock and dread of his barbaric decision made him lose strength. Next thing he figured was the forsworn’s hand connecting to his skull and he literally flew a good few paces before his body hit the ground. This was a very large man, unlike the rest and the skin around his chest is torn apart, exposing a heart of some sort—but not a human’s. How can something so twisted and defiled exist? He almost looks like a monster as he steps on Lucien’s chest, the axe lifting up like a headsman’s blade would-

Tiny legs wrapped on the barbarian’s torso; Auri’s slender arms snaked around to dig her fingers on his face and steer him away from her friends. She takes a bite out of him but losing to size and endurance, he grabs the bosmer’s arm and leg, relentlessly throwing her sideways. Auri howled at the strong impact of hitting the ground but her stunt bought enough time for Kaidan to get in and bring a clean slash down the man’s back.

“Fucking stay away from them!” He growls in rage, charging another powerful swing which was evaded. Why won’t it just go down!? But then they see it, its wounds are slowly closing—there’s a healer among them. Their swords clashed a few times while Auri picks up a nearby bow and takes her ammunition from Rumarin’s unconscious body. “Lucien... Press’a cloth... n‘is wounds.” She slurred, still recovering from getting tossed but is trying to offer assist.

With the flickering mage light above, the young imperial could just make about Inigo running at them while Lyanna is finishing off the last forsworn on their side. Where’s Candle? She didn’t—she couldn’t have possibly—no. Lucien gulps down the lump building in his throat along with the frightening thought of their friend succumbing to death. Where is she? How pathetic is he right now—he can’t even gather his wits to focus on the simplest destruction spell; he’s useless! All he can do was patch up the high elf and he can’t even do it right. There’s about a few of them approaching but right now, Lyanna, Kaidan and Inigo might be the only ones in shape to fight.

All three of them fought with the man, but with Candle gone and the incoming forsworn receiving healing from an unknown source, their chances are slim. He found himself silently praying as flashes of his adventures, his parents, his life in Cyrodiil pass in the back of his mind. The vigilant’s mage light vanished, shrouding the entire campsite in darkness. His heart’s pounding became louder and louder as he heard his friends beaten, struck down—even the enduring Kaidan getting slammed repeatedly on the ground and Lucien screws his eyes shut.

_ Too much—_

This is just too much.

_Make it stop—_

He just wants it to stop.

Lucien hears a shrill wail, but not from one of them. It was distant... slowly, he raises his head to see a fiery glow and one by one, the remaining forsworns even the biggest one are set alight—bursting into flames like walking time bombs. They fell like wilted leaves. Rolling. Crying. It was unbearable. The big one, in a desperate attempt to bring them down, ran towards a critically wounded Kaidan who struggled greatly getting the monster off him.

He didn’t know if it was fear or adrenaline heightening his senses but he heard rushed footsteps. Whipping around to the direction, he was the first to see a blood-soaked Candle emerge from the shadows—fury burned bright in her eyes as she knocks the barbarian away with a well placed ice spike. Wherever she went, she did not go unscathed judging by the cuts on her face. Running past them, the woman goes straight to tackling him, stabbing the face with her dagger several times when the man lands a hit on her temple, shoving her away.

In spite of the terrible burns, the man still pulled himself, trying to make an escape. But she was not going to let that happen. Not what after all of them did to her friends. Candle heaved, crawling up with nothing but a vision of red and pinning the man using spikes of ice that coiled his legs. They did good, hiding that fucking healer but she found them. Put up a hard fight but when she got the opening, she fried the brains on that one ‘til their eyes popped. They deserve it is what she told herself. There’s no more daedra clouding her judgment. This was of her choosing.

He struck her, gripping tight of her hair which she countered by stabbing an ice shard to his wrist. She then took the shard and brought it down the heart, gaining a strong wail from the dying man. _“Die.. you.. fucking.. monster..!” _For every breath she took she cursed him, cursed them, between stabs, covering her hand with thick ice to keep bashing the heart until it was no more but a mangled organ.

The enemies are fallen and your companions remain breathing. Battered but alive.

_‘This was their home.’_

Look around. You see corpses of those who tried to hurt you. What are you searching? Victory? A reason? A reason not to feel bad. It’s truly simple. Your group might be branded trespassers to their territory but you only did what was needed to keep your people alive. They attacked first.

_‘They were the monsters. Not me.’_

Look again. Your companions are safe. But what’s with the sorrowful expressions? Why are they directed at you? Especially Lucien. Did you... did you do something wrong? Your hands. There’s blood all over you and is it so detestable? These are the blood of your foes—the very same ones who tried to kill them—

“Hey...” Kaidan’s hoarse voice echoed in your head as he called you.

Gazing up at him you see what he did. Lucien, have you changed your mind yet? This... This is the kind of person he is traveling with. This is the kind of person he calls a friend. Is there a way around it? Is there some kind of trick a person has to do to survive this kind of life and still be clean? No, this is how it is out here. To keep those you cherish alive, you must fight. You choose which ones to live and the same goes for the enemy; that’s why a fight will only end upon somebody’s death. This is the kind of life you’ve known for a long time.

_What’s wrong with this world?_

Conflicted and at a loss, you cover your face with trembling fingers—the warmth of you victim’s blood clearly distinguished from your frozen skin.

Soft sobs echoed throughout the valley as you let yourself become undone.

* * *

Author doing this chapter:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questionable morality checkpoint. AAaAaaaAAhhhh It's so hard to throw Lucien in danger. This was mainly centric on him and MC's viewpoints! Next chapters will bring more of the usual gang (๑ ˊ͈ ᐞ ˋ͈ )ƅ̋ No bloody fightings, I swear! For the sake of our academic bean's mental state.


	45. The Warmth That Binds Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the last encounter still affecting his companions a little, especially his employer, Kaidan hadn't much expected that his one on one session with you would turn out the way it did.

** 044 **

** The Warmth That Binds Us **

The sun was already set high on their tents when Auri finished tying the clean linen on Lucien’s back. After the encounter in the Reach, they salvaged what they can, got patched up in the nearest settlement and never looked back. It was rather unsettling how much the guards praised them for putting an end to those forsworn. Not that they would have it any other way—they survived after all, just badly roughed up. But rebels or not, those were still breathing, living people. Civilized folks talking about them like the reachmen are some sort of plague that should be purged is something they did not expect. Auri had wondered if commending a massacre was normal practice for nords.

She gave him a few reminders, some medicine and was halfway to exiting the tent when he beckons her.

“Auri...!”

“Yes, my friend? Something else hurts, you tell us right away. We can’t enter the Pale with unattended injuries. The cold won’t be good for us.”

“Ah.. no. I’m all fixed up now... I just wanted to say thanks.”

“Oh.” Her ears twitched in curiosity, “....is that all?”

Lucien tenses and he shifts to fully face her as he finishes the lacing on his upper garment. A few weeks ago, he was still wearing fine silks from the Imperial City and Solitude alike and now he’s wearing something the common folks consider luxurious.

_ A few weeks ago he still don’t have a clue what it feels like to stab a living person—_

Brushing these thoughts aside, he decided to seek some advice or wisdom of some sort. “Auri... In your experience, do you uh-.. back there with the forsworns..” he motions with his hands and the wood elf barely catches up so she sat by his side again. “Have you ever...?”

“That kind of ambush? You’re asking if I killed that many before?” Lucien nods at her. “I have participated in tribal wars and several fights in our homeland. There have been numerous bandits and highwaymen I’ve come across here in Skyrim and have defeated. I possibly hold the highest kill count in this group, my friend. So yes, what happened in the Reach was no surprise for me.” she wiggles her broken left leg, “Although I wouldn’t deny that the battle dealt quite a damage on me. No worries. I’ll be springing back in no time!” she smiled brightly.

“I... I see.” Lucien blinked in bewilderment. “How do you... deal with it? The killing.”

“The first few will normally be a shock. You can’t ever justify it, but you’ll just have to keep asking yourself why you had to do it.” Auri takes a hold of Lucien’s hands, “You were trying to save Rumarin, weren’t you? That was very brave, Lucien.”

“But I didn’t really want to kill...”

“Doing the right thing isn’t always pleasant. Have you not... observed this from your mother?”

In that moment, Lucien froze. Candle told him the same—he just didn’t fully understand back then. He knew his mother had a history in battle and must have slain numerous foes. His mother never spoke about The Great War in detail and she has never shown a spark of pride whenever she gets to that part where she battles daedra and mer alike. It must have been far, far worse. Lucien did a little digging before; how countless civilians died, the amount of Blades beheaded and presented to the Emperor. He knew not what to image back then. Now—now that he has a decent idea what a battle is like after, he’s more thankful than ever to be born after such a tragic time.

The books he read would mention glory in battle, a sense of triumph no other achievement can compare to—but when he faced that barbarian he felt no such thing. There was only fear and guilt. He didn’t want to kill a human being but he didn’t want to get himself or his friends killed as well.

“Lucien, look at me.” The bosmer lifts his chin up, her eyes understanding but stern, reminding him of his mother’s. “All of this may be too foreign from the life you know. You can walk away now and we won’t love you less for that. But if you stay, this is the reality outside the walls, my friend.”

The blonde sheepishly shrinks. “Will I ever get used to it?”

“Hah~ I suppose you can use us as examples. Your mother; she’s quite happy and respected from the way you talk about her.” Auri smiles gently. His innocence is something that can be tainted... or made stronger. “Bad things will affect you and there’s no way to shield yourself from it. How you stay true to yourself, well, that’s completely up to you. And we’re here to help each other as much as possible.”

“That’s.. That’s very helpful, Auri. I’m glad I asked you.” There it is—the genuine smile everyone adores. “Looks like I’ll be needing a lot of help... though I would really much prefer to avoid situations like that as much as possible.”

“Of course we will! Any sane person wouldn’t want to die getting jumped like that.”

“Candle especially...” He sighed, “You saw it, didn’t you? I haven’t seen her so... _different _until she was struggling with that man.” What did he meant by ‘different’? She doubted even Lucien knew what to make of that when he said it. At this, Auri’s face fell. She looks behind as if to make sure nobody’s in vicinity. “So you understand, then? It’s not like she has any choice. And as far as we know, she’s lost a lot of people. I think her desperation that night was plenty reasonable.”

* * *

** _A few years ago..._ **

** **

The smile threatened to break as Shadow Tapper lets go of your hand. They had to go, he says. Had to find a cure for his twin’s illness. They bid you farewell and despite giving no promises, you still called out, “You better be here on my birthday, alright?”

A sad smile and a wave was all you received from your best friend.

...

..

..

“Hey girlie, what are you looking out for?”

Electricity ran down your spine upon being caught lurking past the borders. Spinning around, you come face to face with a bemused argonian. His choice of attire never fails to let him blend in the surroundings. “Seven.” You nodded, tiptoeing back to the safety of your wooden ramparts. “You won’t tell anyone, yeah?” “Depends.” He shrugged with a sly grin, leaning on his grassy post. “What’s in it for me?”

“Hmm. Maybe I won’t set your scales on fire.” You murmured an apology to the vines when you slumped down beside him. “How’s your watch going so far?”

Seven-Horns snorted, “It’s a bright sunny day with no signs of rain cloud in the heavens. It’s horrible. I’ve been burning long before you threatened me with your flames.” sighs the argonian thief. Former. Noticing the insincerity of your smile, he raises another question. “You’re still hoping they’ll come back? I knew it!” He exclaims in triumph upon catching your facade crumble.

“It’s only been four months, give or take.” You pouted, looking at the distant clearing by the end of the dirt road.

“It’s _already_ four months, _give-or-take_.” He mockingly delivers. “Have any of your couriers returned? None. They’re not going back, Rozenn. Let it go.”

“Are you saying Tappy’s twin won’t make it? How could you be so faithless!” You stood up, appalled and hurt at the same time. “You knew both of them far longer than I did—they were your brothers in the guild!”

“Exactly! I knew both when they are strong and nimble. His brother’s simply too weak to live.”

“Fine. If.. If they’re still not here by my birthday, then...”

“Why the long face? Are we invisible to you??”

“Oh shut up. Promise me you’ll stay here until they come back. Beat their asses for taking so long!” you held out your hand to the silly reptile.

“Tsk, tsk. You noble people are the true savages.” He held out his own and sealed the deal. “I swear by all my remaining horns, you have my word.”

“Ugh, yeah—until your horns are no more.” you scoffed back.

“Indeed.”

The promise kept you hopeful. But when you blinked down your locked hands, blood has coated his. _What the-?_

Another blink.

Smoke, fire-_there’s fire everywhere_—the walls are reduced to splinters and rubble.

Guttural screams fill your ear and you look back inside the fortress. Robed people with spells and blade raised against your family. Your lips moved, beckoning the argonian to get up and leave. “Seven.. Seven, we have to—” paralyzation and terror cripples you in place, disbelieving everything you’re seeing at this very moment.

Where is he? This is just... _a chopped hand._

“Seven...?” Blue eyes scanned the area until it fell on a burnt corpse matching the argonian’s... Bile rises and you raise your hand, holding back a gag.

Don’t breathe.

_ Don’t breathe._

Close your eyes.

The noises will stop.

_ “My lady?”_

Blinking once more, you find yourself in a dim lit cave, seated on a bedroll. It smells like flowers and grass after a summer’s rain. There’s a sleeping person in front of you, his back turned but the tail is showing under the linen he’s wrapped himself with.

“Inigo-” 

You called out and his ear twitches.

“My lady.”

You twist around towards the voice. Marie’s peeking inside your tent—wait, what? _‘What the hell, what was that?’ _You protested in silence, realizing how surreal everything was until just now. This might not be the best time to show disorientation so you turn your attention to your visitor.

“Yes...?”

“I was gonna tell you I’ve finished attending to Inigo, Rumarin, and Lucien but... Are you okay? You were spacing out.”

“I probably just need some more rest...” You gazed at your bandaged hands.

“Oh! Then I shall prepare some herbs for the others in the meantime-” Getting up from your furs, you gestured at her, “No, no it’s fine. You take your rest.” you insisted and right before you strode past her, she grabs your arm.

Marie examines you and how could she not notice? The girl’s always had a keen eye for your strange behaviors. “What magic did you use on those savages?” The tone was sharp on top of her concern. After her little brother, she projected all her overprotectiveness on you—should this be a surprise that she knew? “Those aren’t standard destruction spells issued by colleges or any organization I know.”

“Why ask? What matters is that we’re alive.”

“I want to know, my lady.” She presses even more, not falling for your evasion tactics. “Who taught you that magic? Was it her? Was it the witch?”

“Marie, stop-” you broke free of her grasp, “It is done. Drop it.”

“So it’s true..! Where did you learn of it? No, nevermind that. My lady, be reasonable, I beg of you. You know using that kind of magic takes more than just your magicka, right?” Great fear pooled in her eyes. This is true, using the witch’s spells required more for it to work as intended. But if you weren’t going to risk it, how could you ensure the safety of your friends that night? It was the only way.

Sending her a stern look, you brush aside her woes. “I’m not stupid enough not to acknowledge that. But I won’t be like her. Rest your head, sister.”

* * *

Kaidan had taken the initiative to change his bandages and linen, knowing the two healers already got their hands full and what remains of their health potion will be reserved for Rumarin. “Ah, damn it.” He cursed under his breath when the bandage slips. He must have received the least amount of blow from the team, many thanks to his armor, but it didn’t mean some hits didn’t got in. The man had been having troubles sleeping decently with his concussions and bruised back. Maybe they could all consider some helmet scouting.

“...Feels like my bruises have bruises.” Kaidan heard the others talking outside their tent. “Rest my friend.” Inigo told Auri around their campfire as they prepare food. The bosmer’s got an improvement in handling this dead-plant business better, and it looks like they’ve both been patched up. So he takes it that the vigilant must have finished tending the others and it’s Candle’s turn now. That leaves only him and Rumarin. They began this routine since crossing back to Rorikstead. Even held a little debate if half the group should just shoot straight for Lyanna’s property in Falkreath. Her job pays well. But all of them currently wish to see this through.

Seeing Rumarin’s tent slide open made him jump. Candle’s coming out? She’s already done!? Then she’s—Heaven’s sake why is he panicking all of a sudden! Backing away from the entry of their tent, Kaidan fumbles with the clutter on the ground in search of something to cut the bandages with.

“Hey—you.. you need help?” His employer awkwardly greeted, sticking her head in slightly when she catches him in a mess. Kaidan considers, and knowing there won’t be anything he can do now to hide the stupidity of this situation, allows her to step in. With a few minutes of tidying up and applying balms, the woman starts working her way on the seated man’s grazed shoulder. T’was a good idea he doubled the furs for both of them. It must be hell to kneel while she was just as beat as they are.

“Ah-wait. Let me...” Kaidan mutters as he tries gathering his hair up but strained to do so. He felt a pair of bandaged hands smoothing over his and concedes, surrendering the fate of his hair to his companion. She is... strangely docile ever since that night. He thought it might be that she’s recovering her strength but looks like she’s trying to regain much more than just physical stability.

She chuckles softly as she picks up the back of his hair. “Your hair has grown since we met. Look, it can be tied up to a horsetail now.” she muses, “What do you think? You prefer this or you want me to trim your hair?” Small talks? Yeah, he can do that. Probably.

“You can do that?” He let his face twist into that of confusion since no one’s gonna see.

“Aye.” She fixed his hair with ease and cracked her knuckles, signifying the start of her healing magic. “There was a boy. Lyanna’s little brother, Marco. He lets me do his hair back then.” She casually shared, hovering her hands over his bare back. He’s thankful it’s pretty warm today or he’ll have to endure shivering while getting treated.

“I.. I couldn’t picture you doing things like...” Kaidan held back for fear of picking the wrong word. But she just laughs quietly behind him. “Like a normal girl? Me neither. That’s about the most feminine thing I did in my past. Sit around and braid people’s hair.”

“So you _were_ a good child back then.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps not. I was an animal. Even Lyanna’s patience is tested several times when they’re watching after me in Cyrodiil.”

Oh, this is new. She’s talking on her own accord. Kaidan had to think twice what to say next out of suspicion that she’s just stringing him along for giggles. The woman knows her lines and prefers to be civil when people are around but can also get a little bold in her antics when she knows she’ll be the only audience.

“...He was the only one who believed I was good through and through.” she mutters.

“Are you not?” Kaidan retorts. His companion briefly stops her work and he uses this moment to face her. “You keep throwing your arse out there to save those idiots. Sounds like a good companion to me.”

She smiles a confused one. “Or a foolhardy one. There’s got to be a higher requirement for that.”

“You don’t think risking your life is enough reason?”

“Guards do that all the time. And most of ‘em are still as charming as the next drunken lout in a tavern floor.”

“You’re saying this is an act? ‘Cuz it bloody don’t look like one.” Kaidan scoffs out a half grin, taking her bandaged arms and examining it. “Yeah. But I ain’t wholly good as well. People start raising expectations when they think someone is ‘good’. As you can clearly see...” She shot a knowing look at him. Aye, Lucien did have expectations of her—of _them _which were all crushed when they had to break through those forsworns. “We talked about this before,” Kaidan lowers his tone and levels his gaze with her. “Doubts will cause us our downfalls-”

“I _know _that. But that’s not what this is about. When I set them on fire, when I kept stabbing that man, I-I enjoyed it. It felt like justice at the moment. Then just as fast, the brutality of my action hits. And I get terrified.” She lamented. There was a reason she kept to thieving all this time; shady work without getting your hands _that _dirty. “I don’t understand it. I feel no remorse after what happened and that’s what scares me. That I may be turning into the opposite of what they all thought I’d be. Would you call that a quality trait of a good person?”

“They?”

“... I.. uhm... it’s my household.” She mumbles almost inaudibly and looked away. “_Sigh_… Nevermind.”

The air suddenly grew tense between them as he came to realize she slipped. With such a sensitive topic unraveled and neither knowing where to take it from there, the obvious solution was to steer it to another matter. Kaidan clears his throat, slanting his head aside to check on her hands. “Does it still hurt?” He asks, motioning to it. Candle studies him back and with an approving nod, removes the piece that covers it. “We’ve to conserve every healing potion for Rumarin and Marie. So healing my self takes its time.” Explaining why she’s getting the least amount of healing was easy. There’s a lot she can come up with. But admitting why she’s not healing herself was something she was trying to avoid until now.

With the last bandage gone, she didn’t take it as an offense when Kaidan held his breath at what her hands had suffered. Chipped skin and bruised at almost every spot, especially the knuckles; it looked as if she kept punching a tree till it produced a thousand splinters. Even her fingers held discolorations that couldn’t have possibly signaled a healthy state. Kaidan takes in all the damage her hands had endured, not missing the wide slit across her left palm, which she snatched away immediately. “That’s what I get for freezing my hands up just so I can beat the shit out of that briarheart. Ugh—they’re as repulsive as the ritual they undergo.”

“Glad I never picked up the trade then.” The swordsman watched her laugh it all up but it couldn’t have been easy. Dipping your hands in ice is already both numbing and painful but to keep up the sensation until she had crushed the briarheart’s core... Now that’s brutal. “Did you give it a go?” He inquired out of curiosity.

“Uhm. Kaidan, we’ve all to recover yet. If we come across brigands on the road, our best bet for now is magic. So...” She anxiously gestures, “...you can see why I’m conserving my mana? I’ll heal, I swear. Marie is skillful enough.”

The swordsman simply ruffles her hair, “You’re worried again, aye? Come on, the sun’s still high.” He carefully shifted so they would now face each other properly. “Come on, what?” She giggled lowly, but followed suit and sat on cross legs. “Let’s try your restoration. Surely, you wouldn’t want to get blocked out of it your whole life?” He grinned smugly at her and it was the first time he actually saw through her facade. The girl’s low on confidence but it’s exactly why he’s urging her right now; to see if today they can break through. Resting his elbows on his thighs, he opens his palms, inviting her in.

The lady wriggles her hands with raised brows before she places it to Kaidan’s open ones. “Hmp. Curious. I didn’t expect you to be so eager about magic.”

“I trust you to wield that dangerous power rationally. But I’d still advise you to be careful dabbling with such.” Kaidan’s gaze travelled up to her eyes when they finally touched. “You said you’re getting distracted, aye? Brynjar told me wrapping our minds on one thing can help with focus. If it can’t be a thought, we can rely on our senses. Take your pick.”

“Oh? How about you sing?” She grinned at the suggestion.

“How about I give this flesh of yours a pinch right now?”

“Wah~ you are such a violent man. Why did I ever hire you?”

“You aren’t even paying me anything.”

“My company is _the_ payment.”

“Repeat that. Slowly.” Kaidan bemusedly raises his brows and she bursts into laughter, claiming it sounded pretty normal in her head. “Aye, can you stop stalling already?”

Casting aside the silliness that had taken over, she adjusted her sights to their hands, “The spot where I focus the magic. It always feels warm until the heat gets replaced by a chill—that’s when the magic loses its form. May I suggest that you cup my hand when I poke you? I’ll start with my main hand.” She instructed, expressing her anxiousness about this little test of theirs.

With a few encouragements and assurance of their current security, his employer closed her eyes and with a relaxed breath began the glowing of her right palm. Faint yellow specks of magic glimmered over her skin and the scratches did start to mend. When he thought it to be going swimmingly, the specks began to lessen, scattering loosely and he felt her thumb press gently. That’s when he brings his other hand on top of hers, gently and careful not to bring too much weight, as if to coax her into continuing whatever it was earlier. Finally, she blew out a deep breath and not a moment sooner, the magic found a steady form once again. She stops after a few seconds, both of them letting go and, much to Kaidan’s delight and surprise, her hand’s condition drastically improved! The bruises are gone, save for the few remaining light grazes that will no doubt leave in a day or two, and his companion eyed it with disbelief.

“It worked...?” She whispered like she’d forgotten to breathe, wide eyes glistening with mixed emotions. “Kaidan, it worked, are you seeing this??” She exclaimed, breaking into a trembling smile.

“You know, it’s funny.” He chuckled, “You almost have the same face back when you first showed me that your healing doesn’t work on you. Now all that’s missing is a fountain of blood and dark veins tracing on your skin.” he sheepishly grinned. Candle would have a witty comeback, but with the tears of joy threatening to break out, she had sniffled and clenched her cured hand, sending her thanks to the swordsman instead.

“The warmth of your hands around mine helped me gain a sense of direction; a path to focus on..” She kept the magic flowing in that same spot and even when distractions came, it was easier to find her way back with Kaidan’s hand reminding her where to keep the concentration. “I can’t believe your plan worked.”

“Well, it was your plan too— _wait_, was that even a compliment?”

“Thank you. I-I mean it.” She flat out dodged the arrow with a heartfelt smile. How dare he ignore that, right? When he asked her if they should move on to her other hand, she turned him down, offering instead to use the last of her magicka for his shoulder. “Let me fix you up at least. You’re going to put me to shame—you being the patient who taught the healer how to heal herself.”

With a nod of agreement, the swordsman allows his beaming companion to rest her main hand on his shoulder. It felt like ages since he’d last saw her this invigorated. She was smiling now, a truly happy one and it was because of him—or his suggestion. The point is, he was able to make her happy. When in oblivion did he ever obtain the ability to do that? But her elation seeps into him as well—seeing her eyes sparkle with motivation gives him a strange yet welcome kind fulfillment. The woman before him worked harder than any of them ever did to make sure they stay safe and complete and she wouldn’t even allow herself to be commended for it.

Kaidan reaches for his shoulder to give his companion’s hand a light squeeze. “You’re a good person, woman. Maybe not in the way you like. Not in the way you define it. But you are one in my eyes. In your own way.”

“You know, you keep complaining how I’m impossible but you are just as persistent. _In your own way_.” She sheepishly grinned back.

“Aye. Maybe we’ll find out who’s tougher after we get to know each other more.” Kaidan smugly remarked and Candle nodded at the friendly challenge. It could be interesting to learn a little more about the people he lets in his life, he thought as he watched her wrapping her left hand. “I suppose we can try later?” The swordsman asked, pertaining to healing her other hand. The woman glances around and hummed in approval, “This place is spacious enough,” she comments without a thought, “Maybe I’ll sleep with you later.”

“HUH??”

“_No, wait, that sounded better in my head—_”

The crashing noise of firewood cluttering on the side of the tent nearly made Kaidan’s soul leave his body. The two jerks their head on the entrance where Inigo sprints in the same time. “No need t-to explain, my friends-!” he croaked with a hastily lifted hand, unable to meet them in their eyes. “I-I overheard and I understand-, so.. I’m good with watching over Rumarin and Lucien later… But you two will try to keep it down, yes?”

_ “INIGO, NO—”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and LDB bonding time!! Yeah you better think about whatchu saying around camp MC. People might misunderstand! Something to lift the spirits, yes? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Kaidan isn't always moody and awkward around a much more awkward MC. :'D Oh about the magic? Yeaaahh, that was some tweaked version of Forgotten Magic's fire spells. Will explore later as well as these bad flashbacks! >< Happy Lucien coming right up! Rumarin is alive! He's just taking a lot of nap. Gosh, I have a hard time not laughing at the thought of how they hauled him over to Rorikstead wrapped in bandage like a mummy. Up to your imagination, I guess! (゜▽゜;)
> 
> P.S.  
Wow I really need to sleep (๏‿๏ ◝)


	46. The Warmth That Binds Us II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting with Karliah and Enthir, the group makes a not-so-short trip to Falkreath before going to Riften.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always headcanon in any fantasy magic universe that involvement of blood makes spells more powerful. But they're mainly spells cast and created by witches. Thoughts, if you like?

** 045 **

** The Warmth That Binds Us II **

Marie brewed up some herbal tea to assist both your magicka recovery for the night, and while she had a look of concern, she made a choice of settling whatever it was she wanted to say for another day. Resting your head on a pile of soft equipment, you initiated a conversation while waiting for sleep to grace you. “What was your first kill like?” You asked, admiring your left hand’s recovery. Kaidan’s method proved astoundingly useful and this will definitely not be the last of it.

“You’re asking me? Hmm,” Inigo paused from drinking his ale, leaning further back into his bag as a makeshift pillow. After clearing the misunderstanding earlier, the sweetroll monster postponed his plans of bunking with someone else and retired back to this tent with you as their honored guest. “There were some thugs bullying the village folks. They asked us to get rid of them and that was it. It wasn’t as hard or shocking as I expected. They were abusive and I guess that made things easier. What about you, big man?” he shot up a glance at Kaidan.

The man simply shrugged, already laid comfortably on his furs. Well, as comfortable as he can get. Not that you didn’t give it your best healing his back, but he’ll have to make do of it. “T’was a wandering bandit. But it’s not like I didn’t know how. I was trained to hunt from a very young age. I’ve killed beasts wilder and more dangerous—that man was no different, if not less.”

It was a simple conversation that branched into various topics about surviving in the wild before Kaidan caught wind of what’s missing. “Oi.” He nodded at you, “You haven’t told us about your first kill.”

“We wouldn’t want to go there, trust me. Even if we talked about it, I wouldn’t remember it in details.”

“Just how do you cope with this loss of memory?” He inquires showing a hint of interest.

You returned both of their glances, “For starters... I try not to dwell on the past. The things there are.. _jumbled._ If something pops up, I do acknowledge it. Although I couldn’t pinpoint when or if it actually happened.” You said, taking a sip of your tea. It’s not the best thing to talk about or the conversation will just go in circles and you’re thankful they did hold back from asking more.

The night went along smoothly, Kaidan being the first to retire until you and Inigo could barely keep up with the phrases coming out from the other.

“Inigo. If I may ask... Is there no other way to protect our friends?” The khajiit took his time considering your question. If neither of you are staring at each other, you’d surely think he had fallen asleep. But he’s not. He’s just staring intently at you. And for once, the usually confident blue fellow showed conflict beneath his demeanor.

“Maybe.” He finally broke the contact and shrugged. “But for people like us, this might be the only way.” Inigo says, giving the sleeping swordsman a passing glance. “There are thousands of ways to protect someone or something. We just work with what we have.”

“...and we decide who we become?” you added, sharing a tiny smile with him.

“Yes. Sadly.” Inigo looked away. His words weighed more now than before you knew the full story behind his skooma addiction.

“This world is ugly.”

“It doesn’t always have to be.” He opposed. “It depends on how we live in it, wouldn’t you agree? You have a good heart, my friend. Now it’s up to you how to use that in such an unpleasant reality.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him, “You think I’m a good person?”

“I think you’re a bastard, if I may be so honest. But your heart is in the right place.” He sniggers, “Working with you again gave me purpose. I’m thankful for your kindness, my friend. So I hope you’re being kind to yourself as well. You deserve it.” His sincerity rendered you speechless, bringing a close to your conversation.

Has it been an hour? You can’t seem to stop thinking about Kaidan and Inigo’s moving words today. No matter how much you want to believe their words, part of you knew you’re stepping a line that disqualifies you from accepting such a label. Looking at the faint scar across the palm of your left hand, an invisible weigh pools inside your chest; each beat of your heart sends rippling waves of guilt throughout your being.

_Blood magic as last resort._

No matter how many times you’ve tried to justify what you did by claiming it was the only way you could save everyone, using such a spell rips through your soul; leaving nothing but poison and filth. If only they knew... will they still see you as a pure-hearted person? To top that off, the more you use it, the more you feel enticed to rely on it. _‘Snap out of it, woman! Nothing good is going to come out of it.’ _You berated yourself.

Gods help you if you can’t win this battle.

* * *

** _The Frozen Hearth, Winterhold..._ **

Enthir was no less surprised when Karliah and Inigo introduced you as the actual thief caught in this storm, stating that he didn’t expect a mage to be amongst the ranks of the organization. “Easier to steal with magic.” Is the only reason you were able to come up with, causing the wood elf to chuckle in amusement.

“Gallus would’ve respected that.”

“Indeed he would.” Karliah smiled to herself.

And while their lady friend is being borrowed, the rest gathered at the corner, trying their best not to attract the curious gazes of other patrons. Kaidan wasn’t comfortable himself; several mages filled the other tables—that was enough to get him on edge. The man even started muttering snide remarks, taking a jab at the college and their ‘twisted’ experiments up there and when Auri steered the topic to the city’s history, he only ranted more, even comparing the college with the Synod in Cyrodiil. So Winterhold mages perform twisted experiments and Cyrodiil mages are ‘power-scavengers’, as he calls them. Good. Glad to know he has a line to distinguish them from.

“Somebody’s cranky. After all this time, you still got a problem with magic?” Rumarin was the first to call him out.

“Magic _users_, aye. Have you not seen what Hagravens are capable of doing to their victims? _The forsworn back there._” He emphasized, “Or heard how warlocks will capture a man’s soul inside a stone when they kill them? Too many people meddling with forces they can’t understand.”

“Hey..! Magic is used for good, too.” Lucien engaged defensively with an evident pout plastered on his face. Looking back, he’s much more assertive now, they’ll give him that. “Healing, protection... Surely I’m not hearing this from you after all Candle has done for us?”

Truth be told, if the swordsman’s tone weren’t so deadly serious, they would’ve laughed without hesitation. They like this new side of Lucien. Ah, but whether they prove to be a bad or good influence is yet to be seen.

“There are dangers out there that cannot be defeated by a simple sword.” The scholar ended with a frown—if that’s what he was trying to do with those brows. Oh he’s just so cute; like a puppy!

“A sword then is honest in its purpose.” Kaidan crosses his arms. “No trickery. No illusion. Not when it’s cold steel at your throat.”

“Oh gods, I’m shaking right now. Alright, big guy. Settle down before you get us kicked out.” Looking past the swordsman’s shoulder, prowled the breton thief grinning and shaking her head at the ongoing exchange.

Lucien frowned even further. “But Candle, he’s wrong about mages.”

“Pfft, obviously. But leave him and his issues.”

“I don’t have—”

Candle closes the gap between them, locking her gaze with him, and with a soft, thin voice, lets out a friendly little warning. “Careful, Kaidan. I might just turn you into a chicken and roast you for dinner. And I’m really, _really _hungry right now.” The sarcasm hid a storm underneath and boy, they can feel it.

“You don’t want to be a chicken, friend. Trust me.” Inigo ominously chimed in.

Kaidan protested but lost all his words, not knowing if she was serious or not—maybe it was both. The others laughed at the back, “Chicken sounds nice. I’m famished.” Auri says, taking a seat beside Rumarin, “Can we order something? Tch. Arguing makes me hungry.” Giving it a few laughs and a round of liquor, the group wrapped up the conversation before things got too heated. After all, they owe it to themselves to spend the night in an inn from all those forsaken times trying not to freeze until daylight. Who’s to tell how long they’ll take travelling back to Riften.

Later that evening, Karliah calls for you again. Stepping down into the cellar, the smell of cheap mead filtered the air, possibly from the several barrels stacked near the walls. The place was quite dim and so you followed the source of light at the end of the stairs, finding your acquaintances as you made a turn discussing in hushed tones;

“...Gallus seems certain that Mercer had been removing funds from the Guild’s treasury without anyone’s knowledge.”

“Anything else, Enthir?” Karliah inquired, “Anything about... the Nightingales?” She left Enthir for a moment to invite you in their work space. “You’re here. Good. Enthir has just finished translating. You will want to hear this before we return to the Guild.”

“We will?”

“Of course. I’ll always consider the guild my home. We have to burn away everything Mercer defiled in there.”

Somehow the mention of home stirs up something inside you. _‘Karliah still has a home to go back to.’ _You repeated in your mind as she explains the situation with Enthir. So far it mentions Mercer Frey stealing from the guild, a “failure of Nightingales”, and Gallus strongly believing that Frey desecrated something he calls ‘Twilight Sepulcher’.

“Shadows preserve us. So it’s true...” Karliah’s breath shook. The wood elf was overcome with concern—whatever that thing mentioned was, it must have been important to suddenly paint Karliah’s face with dread. “What is it? What’s Mercer Frey done?” He asked but the dunmer lowered her head in declination. “I’m sorry Enthir, I can’t say. All that matters is that you deliver your translation to the Guild immediately.” She said, forcing the tremble in her voice to disappear. “Farewell, Enthir.... words can’t express...”

“It’s alright, Karliah. You don’t have to say a word.” He took a deep breath, giving Karliah’s tensed frame a friendly squeeze before turning his attention to you. “Listen, all I want is the truth to be revealed to the Guild. They respected Karliah, and she deserves better.” he says, “Do whatever you can and I'd consider it a personal favor.”

“I.. Thank you.” You couldn’t say anything else. Sharing Karliah’s burden, it warms your heart to know that she at least has one person who wouldn’t blame her lover’s death on her. “Thank you, Enthir.”

He also offered to assist you, “If trying to rid yourself of stolen goods becomes a burden, and you find yourself in Winterhold, visit me at the College. I've been known to handle items of questionable interest from time to time and I'll see what I can do.” and with that, Enthir excuses himself to work on some more with the translating, leaving you alone with Karliah.

“Karliah... are you alright? How have you been?” You placed a gentle hand on her back. She gathers her breath and faces you. “You’re too kind for this kind of life. You ought to be more guarded. Especially with the kind of people we meet.”

“Hey. I just happen to have a soft spot for women.” You grinned upon successfully making her chuckle. “So what now? Can I know what this Twilight Sepulcher is?”

She pondered on the question for a moment and nodded, “You've come this far, so I see no harm in concealing it any longer. The Twilight Sepulcher is the temple to Nocturnal. It's what the Nightingales are sworn to protect with their lives.”

“Nocturnal? The Daedric prince?” This is news, but not much of a surprise. It’s just unexpected that Skyrim would have such a connection.

“So you know of her name? Everything that represents Nocturnal's influence is contained within the walls of the Sepulcher.” She explained. “Now it seems Mercer's broken his oath with Nocturnal and defiled the very thing he swore to protect.”

“Oath? Thieves and temples don’t quite add up. Uhh, but then again, I didn’t spent long enough under the Gray Fox to know in detail. I take it these _Nightingales _you speak of are not... birds?”

Karliah regards you with equal measures of caution and amusement. “You are a strange lass, indeed. I myself felt the same way when Gallus first revealed these things to me. But forgive me if I cannot reveal much more. As a Nightingale, I've been sworn to secrecy regarding the Sepulcher.” she walks over behind the dusty wooden table and rifles through her things, “I know the Guild doesn't do much to foster faith, but I'm going to have to ask that you continue to trust me.”

“I would be bolting out of this smelly room if I wasn’t planning to.” You quipped. “Besides, I have a feeling the truth will just reveal itself, given that I’m already waist deep in this situation.”

“Good.” She smiled and informed you of her plan of scouting Riften until you two can readily face the guild. Karliah takes out a weapon wrapped in old, worn out fabric. “In the meantime, I wanted you to have this. It belonged to Gallus, but given the circumstances I think he'd approve.” The dark elf places a handsome blade at your hands. Time has covered it in dust and dirt but the sharpness should still be flawless. “It’s... It’s ebony! And Gallus’... Karliah, are you sure?” You gushed in utter bewilderment. Hopefully your spectacularly wide eyes hasn’t put her off or something.

“I don’t see a reason why not.” She laughed softly.

“I-I’ll put it to good use!” You swore upon being honored with such a gift.

“If the Guild isn't willing to listen to reason, you might have to.”

* * *

** _Sun’s Height, 4E 200, Forests of Falkreath..._ **

** **

In spite of all the birds singing and the sun peeking through the slit of her tent, it was in fact, heavy grunts that woke Auri up from her slumber. The smell of fish roasting nearby caught her attention first; it must be time for lunch. Before she could question the sufficiency of her rest, a small blast outside quickly alerted her senses and she hops out of her tent, weapon drawn while searching for the culprit.

“HYAH!” Lucien huffed out as he threw a tiny fireball at the rock towards the end of their camp. Candle stood near behind him, coaching him by the looks of it. They must have been on it for a few hours with how strained Lucien looks.

Oh, that’s right. It’s her turn this week to teach him. After they left Winterhold, the young imperial kindly asked they continue his training. Not everyone felt like participating of course, Rumarin and Kaidan namely. The swordsman told them that his techniques and routine “isn’t compatible with Lucien’s stature” to quote him, but should the scholar improve in the future, he’ll be willing to pass down some of his moves. Rumarin, obviously, is just being non committal. Truthfully speaking, the elf would have made a poor teacher at the moment with the way he is.

It’s been a week since then. Lucien’s swordsmanship lessons from Inigo was actually too entertaining that she had to eavesdrop every now and then. That meant she had to suppress a giggle every now and then as well.

Her turn would consist a lot of exercises to prepare him for archery while Inigo volunteered to assist him in handling swords. Candle’s domain will cover magic and they will have it no other way. Her sharp discipline is awfully surprising given just how playful she is most times. One would expect the sneaky breton to be a rascal of Rumarin’s level but she’s actually the opposite when it came to training. The vigilant wasn’t exaggerating when she claimed her mistress’ skills to be stellar.

She _is _stellar.

“Are you gawking at her?” Rumarin’s voice sent shivers down her spine and she could tell without looking back the moronic glare he’s giving her. “At them.” She sharply replied, tossing her weapons back inside. “Weather so far?” She asked while giving herself a well deserved stretch to start the day.

The high elf shrugged, crouching to put in more twigs to kindle the fire. “Ehhh... No rain clouds in sight. But who am I to say otherwise? Kynareth’s mood might change later, I don’t know. But don’t change the subject. Lucien’s right over there.”

“So?”

“The space between them is far apart.” Rumarin grinned at her.

“I don’t know what you’re pointing at.”

“That you _are _gawking at Candle.”

Auri didn’t know what came over her but heat suddenly crept up her ears. “T-That’s—” She stammered, unable to find her words. Why is she flustered at such a ridiculous accusation?! She’s mad, yeah that’s got to be the reason behind her flushing! “Oh, shut up. Why are you picking on me this early?” She stalked towards him. Rumarin was quick to raise his hands in defense. “Mighty loving Stars, take it easy. Roasting these fishes is quite boring.” He pouted, arranging his robes and sat by the log.

“Pulling my leg was your definition of entertainment?” She raised a brow.

“Hah! Oh, you have no idea. I just found it funny at the time ‘cuz that brute, Kaidan, was sending her the same astonished look.” He chuckled, “Nearly gave the same violent reaction. It was priceless.” the altmer laughed when an unamused Auri swatted at him. “Hey, hey, I wouldn’t blame you guys! She is pretty.”

“She is.”

“HAH! Knew it!—_Ow! Ow!_”

Rumarin’s yelping disturbed the blonde scholar from successfully executing a fireball. Not that he’s been very excellent in his last ten attempts anyway. All he can produce was a loosely formed flame that won't even shoot halfway. He knows he might be pushing it but the determination and frustration just keeps piling up every time he fails.

“Maaaybe.. we should rest. Let’s work something out when you’ve regained enough.” Candle states. “Come on, it ain’t so bad. You almost got it.”

“_‘Almost’_ won’t save a life... Er- I mean.. I don’t mean to sound..” His shoulders gloriously fell with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Candle. It’s just embarrassing, I guess. I nearly read every book back in the university regarding spells and magic and such, but to put it in practice. That’s, well...”

His friend ran a hand through her hair, letting the hood fall in the process. And she smiled. Kind and without judgment. “A man needs to build his muscles to swing a sword. Us mages need to sharpen our minds to shape magic. Either way, both takes time to hone such discipline. So don’t rush yourself, my friend.” She reminded him, ushering him back to the camp.

Lucien can be stubborn sometimes. Most times. Especially on matters he thinks he’s educated enough. So when he persisted, it didn’t really took Candle by surprise. Who doesn’t love a passionate student? But they won’t make any progress now—he will be dropping this matter, one way or another.

“Lucien,” She holds his arm, donning her sternest face, “We can’t rush magic. The best we can do is rest and wait. We believe in you, Lucien. You’re going to be a great mage with an attitude like that. I could definitely use a hand whenever we heal our friends, don’t you think? But we can’t get there if you keep exhausting yourself. At best, you’ll just break your mind and learn nothing.”

“I-I.. Of course, I understand. Oh, forgive me for being pesky.” There he goes again with the puppy eyes. Very adorable but leave he still must.

“You’re not being pesky. Just keep in mind that the best kinds of magic take time to develop, my friend.” She smiled brightly, “And you’re definitely a fine product of one... Your parents will be proud!” a sly grin blossomed in her face just like when a devil takes off its disguise.

“I-ah, you mean—er... L-Look at that..! They’ve finished preparing lunch! I guess I should.. I’ll just.. _ehem.. _e-excuse me...” And with a snap, he leaves without question like the obedient student he is. “Mara’s mercy, I’m so disqualifying myself from the Gods’ good graces.” She chuckled to herself. Marie quietly steps in to offer her a drink, biting down the grin that’s itching to show. “Ruthless as ever. You never change, my lady.”

“Oh, I believe I should. They’re going to hate me in no time if I didn’t.”

“Haha. That kid remind you of him, I take it.”

Candle glances back to the vigilant. She wore a gentle smile and was looking at the group with fondness. “Does he? I mean to you?” Marie’s eyes swiftly darted back to hers when she asked, and after a short consideration, gave a single nod. “How do you feel about that? Seeing your brother in someone else...” She spoke lowly in a curious tone.

“I don’t have to be sad about it, if that’s what you are asking, my lady.” Marie simply looked on to their group once more. “If anything, I am thankful to be reminded of the people I love. Those we lost.. I will always cherish their memory.”

It’s all they can do for now.

* * *

** _20th Sun’s Height, 4E 200, Falkreath..._ **

“Bloody stones. Can we... Can we rest for a moment??” Rumarin called from the back of the group after they trekked the whole of Falkreath’s forest for who-knows-how-long. Since most of their steed ran off after the ambush, going on foot for most of the journey has been challenging. You glanced up at the elf beside you, taking a peek under his hood. He’s really sweating and you can’t really be surprised about that. He’s got the lowest stamina in the whole group and the thinnest patience for long travels like this.

Rubbing your palms for some minor spell, you conjured a small cool mist for him to bask himself into; at least for a short while. “Hold on a lil longer, bud. It’s nearly dusk, I’m sure we’re about to make camp.”

“Now that’s a useful way of using magic.” He pulled down his hood and relished the chill blowing gently over his face.

“So why don’t you learn it.” Kaidan snidely remarked from the rear only for the altmer to whine about reading. “You’d think that we should be relaxing since today’s _that_ holiday but ugh... Why are we pushing this far South anyway? Aren’t we supposed to head back for Riften?” He added, gaining the vigilant’s attention. “I understand but we must push on. It’s nearby.” She pointed at the faded dirt path leading to the bushes.

Almost half an hour of ‘pushing on’ and getting slapped by vines and tall grasses passed before Marie signals everyone to stop. There’s an old wall—a dead end? You left Rumarin’s side and approached it, scouting the area just like the rest. Nature has claimed it no doubt, tracing the vines and plantlife that vastly covered it.

With the sun setting fast, a meager ball of light bloomed out and on top of her as she beckons the group to follow her trail.

“Sister, where are we headed? This is a dead end.” You whispered.

“Give me a moment... The gate should be around here somewhere.”

Gate? You continued to stride down, careful not to trip on overgrown roots and made sure the others are keeping up. Somehow it makes you feel like a goose honking at its babies.

“We’re here.”

Indeed a large gate stood in front of the vigilant. She threw a spell at it and a barrier which you didn’t know stood there burned away like cheap parchment, giving the perfect explanation as to why the gates had no need for chains or a lock. Marie steps inside the territory and looked around as if she knew exactly just what she’s seeking. The little light didn’t provide much visual in the dark but it gave enough to inform your group that you’re walking inside an... establishment of some sort. There’s a shed and a smaller house near the mansion as Inigo stated. Your sister asked everyone to stay put as she scouts the area and safely went back a few minutes after. “The animals will be safe here, I’ve secured the place.” She said; secured with what is still in question but you trust her word. “Shall we go inside?”

“As guests or...?” Auri cautiously studied the surroundings.

“I apologize. I forgot.” The brunette let the magelight stick on top of the front doors and pressed her palm on it. Magic surged through the dusty old wood and fizzles out just as fast, opening the doors. She casts another light to illuminate the room and faced the group, “This is my property.” Marie suddenly claimed. Of course the reaction from everyone was valid.

“YOUR WHAT??”

The place itself wasn’t too eerie, just covered in dirt and cobwebs down the last inch. It’s largely made of wood but the pillars remained strong. Studying from the cluttered dining table and utensils sitting on the kitchen, you can tell this place was abandoned in a hurry. Investing a few minutes to light the place up, you paused, looking over the rails to the dining area and find everyone eating packed rations.

“Why are you guys eating those?” You asked.

“Are we not supposed to...?” Kaidan looked up to where you are.

“There’s a clean well in the basement. We just tested it.”

“...and?” Rumarin raised his brows and immediately realized what you’re pointing out. “OH! This ain’t a joke? Fantastic! I can practice cooking immediately! Now to find something to clean myself with...” He mutters and you shot him a curious look. “Wait. I know that look, woman. No. _NO._ You’re bluffing!”

“Try me.” You couldn’t help sounding silly as you giggled. “There’s a bathhouse right next to it. Knock yourself out.” Hearing the rest of your idiots taking dibs has you shaking your head as you went back to your task. It’s oddly heartwarming to have a place you can all call your own again.

It didn’t take very long until everyone was full and snoring on their respective bedrolls, giving themselves a well deserved break from spending the whole three days on endless walking under the cruel heat of the sun. The house itself had plenty of bedchambers but since nobody has energy enough to do some general cleaning, your friends happily settled on the spacious room in the front door, but not after wolfing down first their meals and enjoying a good bath.

You studied each of them, the soft glow of wall scones your only source of illumination, and Marie was right; they do resemble some of the people in your family. Maybe that’s why you easily gravitated towards them in such a short time. You thank the universe for having met each of them before setting your furs down. Yet anxiety clawed at you in the back of your mind. There are still a lot of challenges ahead before you can truly call yourself free. No, you won’t let this feeling ruin the night. The problems can have its turn picking at you tomorrow.

Tonight you’ll get a restful sleep, knowing you’re in safe company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Very late update?? XD aaAAaaAa but I have to slow down in writing! Hopefully next chapter will have more plot movement. I just had to do fluff! I don't want them all sad and broody! D:
> 
> My brother resumed working at home and that leaves me to be the one running out for supplies during quarantine. I'm gonna call myself a scavenger to make things more exciting. (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”
> 
> Thank you for sticking around and stay safe yoohoo!! <(*꒪ヮ꒪*)9


	47. Standing Your Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which doubting does nothing to help. No. Time to stand their grounds and see this through. Mercer won't get away with this.

** 046 **

** Standing Your Ground **

You caught the vigilant dusting out some of the cones in the living room early in the morning. “My lady, I didn’t saw you there.” She greeted as she opened a window.

You approached quietly, glancing around the plethora of dust floating under the sun’s ray. “Nice place.” She waves her hand and covers her nose briefly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you before. I just didn’t know yet if everyone was to be trusted.” says the vigilant. And well.. you know. We got sidetracked.”

“Marie... Before we head out again, I just wanted to say... When you confronted me about the spell...” a pause, “Sorry for dismissing you like that.” Her face showed no signs of resistance but her smile was nowhere to be found as well. There’s a lump forming on your throat; as if it weren’t already hard enough addressing this. “I-I know it comes with a price. But I never intend to use it unless I have no other options. I.. couldn’t accept it if one of you guys... It’s only my blood I’m using—” the next words suddenly vanished when you felt her hand on your arm. Emerald eyes gleamed with understanding and you knew exactly that moment how big your mistake was. There was no taking that back. Wrong or not, it was done.

“Don’t let the witch’s words poison your mind. You can protect them without those. And don’t think of yourself expendable, if you please.” she reprimanded gently, “You are not perfect. But you shouldn’t discard your life just like that. These people.. they all truly care for you, I can see that now.”

“And I care for them, that’s why I’m going to protect them no matter the cost.”

Marie takes your hand, “You can’t protect them by being dead. There are always other ways aside from that, my lady. Take this. This place is yours as much as it is mine. And I’d like everyone to treat this as their home as well.” letting go, she leaves a key on your hands. “Be kind to yourself, Rozenn. We’re not alone anymore. We have each other.” And with that, she retreated to the main floor.

The rusted item on your hand made you anxious. Riften. Karliah. Mercer. The Guild. Can you really pull this off? Or will you expose everyone to more danger than they’d already gone through just following you around? What if more of those cultists came? Dreadful thoughts pestered your mind and you couldn’t help but heave out a sigh. _‘The price of freedom is never cheap.’ _You told yourself as you stepped inside your bedroom. The sword Karliah gave you sat on the mattress, waiting to be used.

No more running this time, kid.

* * *

** _Closing days of Sun’s Height, 4E 200, Helgen..._ **

Helgen is a good place to resupply a more specific need. The town’s one of the first settlements from Pale Pass but is not exactly tourist friendly with all the guards stationed; resulting in the majority to aim for Falkreath as the drop off for those entering from the South. The town functions under imperial control but is consisted of many nord families making profits from military demands and hunting supplies. One can almost spell out a “Milk-drinkers-not-allowed” in the air just from amount of scrutinizing gazes Lucien garnered the very moment he took a step inside the gates—which he was thankfully oblivious to the whole time.

Gold pieces rattled on the wood as Kaidan gave his payment for his equipment. The smith waved him off with a simple thanks after he tested it for fitting and he exhaled contently at the sight of his armor pieces, polished into perfection like they’re newly crafted. Leaving the premises of the establishment, he spots Candle exiting an armor shop at the other side of the road but instead of an upgrade, she only had her common clothes and a different set of leather. What, where is her armor? That armor she carries doesn’t look like her size at all. Catching her attention, Kaidan walks up to his companion.

“What are you planning with that?” He asked, knowing her of all people wouldn’t just lose her armor without proper reason.

“Hm? Lucien needs it more than I do. So I’m giving it up for now.” She told him. The scholar was a walking alarm, attracting bandits and the likes with his _stunning_ noble looks that just seems to scream how much he lacks the skills to defend himself while carrying pouches of gold outside cities. They had to do something about that and the best way she came up with is to swap appearances with him.

“Do you really think this is wise? Having a threat of the whole Thieves’ Guild and that son of a bitch Mercer at your back and you decide to sell off your armor?”

She nodded, though he can tell she gave it thought numerous times before. “Yes. Well, you do have a point.” and here comes the ‘but’, “But, I may have better chances of not looking like fresh prey even with just minimal gears.” Kaidan shakes his head lightly in disagreement as they walk towards the tavern. “Can’t understand you people. Just stuff his head on a sack or throw on a hood like Rumarin.”

That might be easier said than done.

With the others off to conclude their businesses, the two of them took a seat inside and ordered some refreshments. It’s quite peaceful enough for the moment; the lack of soldiers diminishes the tension imbued with the ambiance outside. But it didn’t take long for his companion to notice something was off. “Don’t look now, but I think those villagers are giving you an odd eye.” She whispered to Kaidan. True enough, several patrons have been sticking their gazes far longer than normal and he made it a point to obviously reach for his sword when a group of young men walked slowly towards them.

“No need to get hasty-” One of them said. He tugged back on his friends, urging them to back down. “Are you sure it’s them?” Says the lankier one but the lad in front stood firmly with a determined look. “I’m sure it’s them,” he told them, exchanging glances with the other people around the establishment. “They’re the ones the Thalmor was looking for.”

Kaidan nearly slammed his kneecaps on the table when he stood up, already itching to take action as he shields away his companion from the growing crowd. There’s no way they’re running again.

“That’s quite enough, neighbors. Yer all spookin’ ‘em out.” An elderly guy turns everyone’s eyes on him as he entered the scene. He held a stick for support even when he doesn’t appear to be that old. Must be caused by an injury on the foot he’s dragging. Kaidan didn’t felt the need to draw his weapon but refused to lower his guard nonetheless. “Is this the part where you turn us in for a few bag of coins?” He growled.

“You sure have a lot of snark, son. A few bag of coins does sound tempting.” The stranger laughs, scratching his beard before he looked at the other villagers. “What’re ya lot standing there for?”

“Not another step.” Kaidan protested at the nervous folks.

“OH! No. No, we’re not gathered ‘ere for that.” He exclaimed. His eyes narrowed as he studied him and his companion up and down. “Say, don’t ya remember me anymore?”

“What?”

A low chuckle escaped the man, drawing a few relieved noises from the others. “Aye. It’s been half a year. Don’t suppose you was taking notes of people’s faces when you freed us.”

And realization washes over him. The prison. Dropping his hands on the side, Candle sent him a curious look which he returned. “The prisoners.” He murmured.

“That’s right.” The stranger grins, gesturing at his foot. “Old me ain’t ever getting back on the field unless a miracle happens. I lost all chances of returning to duty but I got out with my life. I thank you for that, young man.”

“Mister, my pops passed away not long ago. He was already ill when he came back from that prison but we got to be with him until his dying breath.” The first lad to approach them said. He ushered the two other boys beside him and continued, “When I saw you, I knew you’re the one he talked about. These are my brothers; we all want you to know how grateful we are for returning the old man to us.”

One after the other, the suspicious people were not so anymore. They each expressed their gratitude, seizing the only chance they may ever get to personally meet the person who freed them and their loved ones. Relatives of those in the now-abandoned prison and majority of the people illegally confined in the Helgen outpost. Kaidan knew nothing of what to do with this newfound appreciation—he didn’t really thought he’d seen these people again, but a part of him was overwhelmed with fulfillment. Odd, he knew this, but he couldn’t explain it as well. All he was aware of while he humbly received such attention was that he was just as thankful. To be part of this—people smiling, families reunited, lives taken back; all those injuries... _every drop of blood he lost for this was worth it._

But those weren’t his ideas. He turns around to where his companion was. Gone. Did she use the commotion to disappear? Looking around and over the group of people, he spots her enjoying a glass of apple juice at the bar. _‘Not one for attention even after all this time...’ _Kaidan let his eyes linger on her for a while, waiting, expecting some sort of reaction to the pedestal he’s suddenly put on. The smug smile she sent before raising her glass to him spoke of her contentment staying out of the spotlight. Of course, she wouldn’t just slink past and abandon him without reason. The corners of his lips tugged back into a silly grin itself as she enjoyed a good drink while he had to accommodate the people.

Hero? Not really. Scapegoat? Without a doubt.

The group departed from the place with a bountiful supply on their packs, all strangely donated freely by the over-welcoming townspeople who seemed to have been chanting praises towards their brooding swordsman. Kaidan was the last to make it to the stables, waving off the villagers and thanking them for swearing never to breathe word of his existence should the Dominion drop by their doorsteps. Seeing his companions sneering and sputtering as he closes in, he knew exactly where to fix his glare on.

“Everyone—the champion of Helgen!” You gestured dramatically at his highness.

“You soulless little..” He grumbles exasperatedly and squeezes your face with heavy hands. “I will never understand how your brain works, if it’s working in the first place. You can’t just leave me like that in the crowd.” He began to argue as they head on.

“But they love you~” You giggled, helping Inigo lift the packs on the steed. “You fit the whole deal of a dream hero! Seasoned warrior. Heavy armor to emphasize just how _strong _and built you are. Intimidating expressions with a dash of mystique. Unwashed for days but still ruggedly handsome—” You immediately duck under an incoming jab, grinning sheepishly as you hear the others laughing up and trading opinions. “Why are you mad at us, champ? You don’t like being called handsome?”

“I took a damn bath before we set out for Helgen—”

“The valiant hero has a sense of proper hygiene.” Rumarin gasps, “What will the people say??”

* * *

_ **First week of Last Seed, 4E 200, The Ragged Flagon, Riften...** _

Karliah had thought about reaching for her blade several times already since she decided t’was finally time to step into the place she once considered home. Its inhabitants respected the air of danger she carried but kept her under skeptic eyes. Twenty five years. This place crumbled into a reeking pile of filth that only invited and bred more thugs of varying levels of pathetic. Mercer knew nothing of becoming Guildmaster and it shows.

The hood can only cover as much. Once the bartender handed over her drink, she commended his courage to ask for a name. Not like she gave in so easily, but he was the first to show some guts rather than just try hard to be menacing.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before?” He attempted to converse. Very well, she’s got time to bite.

“No, I’m afraid not.” She sipped, knowing their audience grew smaller with each passing second until they were the only one left and a few others by the sewer. “But I believe I’m allowed here as long as I’ve got business.”

“You don’t seem quite as unfamiliar with this place for an outsider.” The man who introduced himself as Vekel said. “Is it your first time here?” That wasn’t caution; more like a subtle warning to leave this place. Karliah couldn’t help but crack a smirk. She was itching for trouble, to be honest. But she was here under more pressing matters. Glugging down the remaining liquid on her mug, she let the hood fall down as she wiped her mouth; leaning forward to stare hard into Vekel’s eyes when she gave her answer.

“No.”

Stricken with fear, the nord stood frozen in place, shooting a glance at the redguard woman behind her. “I know who you are. Whatever your business is, leave us out of it.”

“Vekel. We’ve got company.” Dirge called out, presenting a group of familiar faces.

Taking off their hoods one by one, a sense of relief washes over Karliah when she met your eyes. You strode down the bar, giving the nord a few seconds to make up his mind on what to make of the situation. “Didn’t think you’d be coming back. Was pretty sure you’re dead meat.” He scoffs at you.

“I should’ve been, had only Mercer’s plan went accordingly.” You told him with a shrug. “Had a feeling they were already suspecting who I am the moment I stepped in here.” Karliah greeted you. “Well.. I don’t suppose mister Frey can come out of the guild for a nice cup of tea?” you jokingly replied.

“Look, I like you, so I'll tell it to you straight. Brynjolf and the rest are in the Guild, and they're ready to cut you down.” Vekel explains as you take a look around and catch Tonilia nodding her confirmation. “I know you have a damn good reason for siding with Karliah, so I hope you can give it to them.” He says with a hint of finality, glowering at your whole group. Whatever happens in there, he seems to be expecting trouble.

You turned around and meet your companions’ eyes. “Everyone has accompanied me this far and low... I.. couldn’t thank you enough. But Karliah and I will have to go in alone. This only involves Guild members.”

“You can’t possibly mean that?” Auri was the first to express her worry and then Lucien—though that might just meant he feels safer within your perimeter. The others acknowledged your decision and convinced the others to stand watch. With their numbers and two mages, Dirge and his lackeys will have to think twice if it’s even worth going toe to toe with just for this cesspool of a hideout. “We’ll keep watch. But be safe.” Kaidan whispered and you nodded, following Karliah into the passage.

“Kaidan... I think we should follow her.” Lucien muttered once she disappeared into the shadowy corners beyond the cabinets. It’s amazing how he’d still hold his breath whenever he thinks she’s in trouble, despite being aware of how capable she is. It’s not like Kaidan’s dismissing the possibility of it. Even right now, danger’s already lurking somewhere, waiting to pounce on ‘em at first chance. But they already talked this over. Nobody’s running from this and they’ll definitely not leave anyone alone on their own.

“Get a grip, Lucien. We’ve been through this.” He hissed.

“And we’ll get right through this without a hitch.” Inigo added. “Our friend is very convincing. Other than that, the vigilant lady is every bit confident about the situation, right?” He slanted his head over to Lyanna who affirmed the situation, yet despite it all, there’s a dash of uncertainty flashing underneath her demeanor. “Maybe it’s best to keep your weapons ready.”

“You’re all still tailing that lass around, eh? Even got new friends under her command.” Tonilia broke in. Well, it’s not as if they’ve got anything better to do than stand in front of the bar like guardsmen. “Mercer hadn’t shown up ever since that day y’know.”

“Ton, I don’t think it’s for the best to talk about this.”

“Oh shove it, Vekel. It won’t hurt to chat a little. And I don’t like getting left out on the details.” The redguard leans forward from her seat. “We thought they both died on that mission. Whole guild was a gods damn mess. When Brynjolf attempted to search for them, oh dear, that must have been the most intense week for the whole crew. Vex was pretty much on the borderline of murdering the members just to convince them that it wasn’t time yet to pick a new guildmaster.”

“Hmp. I would’ve gladly paid all my savings to witness everyone off each other in this rotten dunghole.” Another woman sitting behind Tonilia spoke out. That’s the... face sculptor those guards were talking about upside, right? Galathil was her name, Candle said. “Always full of love, our resident artist.” Remarked the redguard. “When Bryn came back with nothing, we started to fear for the worst. But Mercer’s property was still being maintained and the staff there won’t sing no matter what we did. We believe the Guildmaster lives, but what of that spunky little friend of yours? Siding with Karliah only worsened the speculation we already have. So I ask you this... Does anyone of you know how things went down there?”

Lyanna crossed her arms in defiance, “And what of it? Will you believe us even if we tell you in details?”

“Now I didn’t say about wanting to be convinced otherwise. Just wanna hear her side is all. What will it be, hmm?”

* * *

** _Four days ago in the Rift..._ **

Deciding to stick on the main road like normal people has been a blessed change. They never had to worry about wild animals or even bandit ambushes, what with patrols appearing here and there. The pace was considerably slower but with their supplies on the verge of nonexistence, they had no other choice.

The respectful silence that had befallen their carriage was interrupted by Auri’s sharp exhale. “The next mercenary band that laughs at us is dead.” she fumed, glowering at a wagon of hired mercs receding from their view. A wood elf, high elf, and khajiit, in the same cart—they weren’t really having the best welcoming party especially from narrow minded brutes like those. “Don’t you hate it? The way they glower at us just because our ears are pointed skywards.” She whispered to Rumarin who nonchalantly shrugs in return. “You get used to it given some time.”

“But they’re awful. How can you stand such a thing.”

“Well, you don’t always have to make a stand. But there’s only a select few worth fighting for.”

Auri shoots the altmer a curious look. They’re riding on the same cart are they not? Did that really came out of his mouth? “That’s actually profound.”

From on top of the horse, you silently eavesdropped their exchange. Funny how that little line began to linger in your mind the closer you got to the city.

You can always ditch on Karliah; this is not your problem. Or that’s what Brynjolf’s telling you right now, but he’s wrong. You’re not really waiting for this to come back and bite your ass.

He takes a step towards you—the rest of the guild had their weapons drawn and are in position for an assault. “Is this really worth turning your back on us, lass?” Your mentor asked with his blade pointed at you, merely holding back the venom in his tone.

“I’m not here to betray anyone. I’m here for answers.” You coldly replied. This doesn’t have to be like this; but you’ve made your choice. You’ll see this through.

“Fine, but you better have a damn good reason to be here with that murderer.”

“Please, lower your weapons so we can speak. I have proof that you've all been misled!” Karliah intervenes, earning her a plethora of insult from the other members undeservedly thrown at you two. Brynjolf had the better judgment and opted to settle things formally. “No tricks, especially you Karliah or I’ll cut you where you stand.” Cautious green eyes fixes itself on you and you loosened the grip on Gallus’ blade. A loud clang resonated throughout the cistern as it hits the floor, followed by your throwing knives getting discarded one by one. Karliah slightly turns her head, “No tricks.” she agreed, dropping her weapons as well and the other members collected it.

Brynjolf tightens his hold on the sword, “Now what’s this so-called proof you speak of?” Karliah did not think twice about taking out the journal and the scrolls containing its translation, sliding the bag that carried it towards the officers. “I have Gallus' journal. I think you'll find its contents disturbing.”

“How the hell do we know you’re not bluffing, you dunmer bitch?” Vex accuses. The woman was always cranky for as long as you knew her but even this is more than you can hold back against. Karliah immediately stopped your charge with her arm, shaking her head lightly and you stepped back at her behest. “Take your time but I dare say you read it quick. If Mercer’s not here, then I’m afraid he might have already emptied the vaults.” She warned.

Given time, Brynjolf and Delvin reviewed the items with haste while everyone else watch you and Karliah like vultures itching to unleash violence against the slightest hint of aggression. “No. It can’t be..” The dark elf’s ears twitched at the first word Brynjolf ever made. “This can't be true. I've known Mercer too long...” Equal measures of disbelief and betrayal infused in his words. “You’re willing to see reason, then? I don’t know what’s really going on, Brynjolf. But Mercer had every intentions to dispose of me when he got the chance.” You spoke out, “There’s no way I’m siding with him.”

“It’s true, Brynjolf. Mercer has been stealing from the guild for years,” Karliah convinces him otherwise. “right under your noses.” She motions towards where this vault is.

“There's only one way to find out if what the lass says is true... Delvin, I'll need you to open the Vault.”

“Wait just a blessed moment, Bryn-” Old man Delvin scrammed to put down the scrolls, “What's in that book? What did it say?”

Brynjolf signaled for the two of you to remain in the center while he paced towards the vault. “It says Mercer's been stealing from our vault for years. Gallus was looking into it before he was murdered.”

“How can Mercer open up a vault that needs two keys? It's impossible. Could he pick his way in?” Delvin shot his comrades a glance, taking out the key from his pockets. “That door has the best puzzle locks money can buy. There's no way it can be picked open.” Vex spat out.

“He didn't need to pick the lock.” Your dunmer ally simply stated, and you could faintly hear Delvin asking her credibility only to be brushed off by your recruiter. “Just get on with it Delvin. We’ll open it up and find out the truth.”

The iron door creaked heavily, prompting Delvin to call Brynjolf out, “It’s still locked up tighter than a drum. Now use yours.” Your eyes follow every detail happening before you; even the guild members are holding on their breaths. Heavy doors pushed open and you closed your eyes with relief as their horrified voices confirms the truth behind your cause.

“That son of a bitch! I’ll kill him!” Vex vehemently cursed out followed by another member, “If I find Mercer first, I’m gonna crush his skull with my bare hands!” he says and the rest began to jeer in agreement. Brynjolf tried his best to quiet down the angry mob when the Guild door flies open.

“Brynjolf...!!” Tonilia and Vekel barges in, blood smeared all over their attires. “Thalmor! There are Thalmor soldiers in the Flagon!”

“Blessed Stars, they didn’t even let us speak! The audacity!” Galathil angrily whined as she wipes off dirt from her robes. Lucien enters a second after, wasting no time to scramble by your side. You asked him about the others but the lad appeared visibly shocked. In a fit of mindless rage, Vex points her finger at you, “You! You brought them here, didn’t you!?” “Vex, you need to calm down! We don’t even know what’s going on!” Brynjolf steps in to cover you but your mind has been somewhere else for a minute. Your eyes stuck to the door, anxiety pounding inside your chest with each second passed without seeing anyone of your friends follow suit.

This is wrong. This isn’t happening...

A figure steps in, Kaidan—but your elation easily vanished when an enemy disguised as a city dweller emerges behind him, pressing a blade on his neck. Slowly, they push your friends in, holding each one of them hostage as the one dressed in official Thalmor robes finally entered. Your companions displayed cuts and swollen bruises on their faces; poor Inigo and Auri are nearly on the verge of collapse. _‘Those are fresh wounds... These freaks really did a number on my friends—’_

“Now let’s not get anymore dirty than necessary.” The wizard spoke loudly. “This lot refused to surrender—let them be an example if you wish to speak out of turn. We are only in this repulsive place in search of the Blades agent. A reliable source told us that you’re keeping him here.”

“And how do we know your source is reliable enough?” Brynjolf replied, “If you want to get a cut of what we have then see for yourselves if you can. Place is emptied of every piece of jewel and gold we’ve acquired throughout the years.” He gestured grandly at their open vault. The thalmor merely barked out a laugh, “You don’t think the Guildmaster would know who he keeps under his rotten excuse of a guild?”

What the—Mercer sold out the guild?

“It’s a lie. He’s hunted by the guild, is why he need a diversion!” Kaidan growled despite pain flaring on his blackened right eye. “You idiots are playing in his tune—_argh!_” The swordsman hisses painfully from getting a knee to the face. He can only hope the others can cover up fast enough. There’s no way they can let this place be decimated by these damned people again. Glancing sideways, he sees his companions groaning and suffering from their own wounds. He’ll tear these thalmors limb from limb for what they did to his comrades, just watch.

He soon finds out things are progressing faster than he expected. Once the bastard wizard turned around, they hear a noise—a sound of something sharp sinking in flesh. The thalmor trembles back a step before completely falling down, Candle’s knife buried deep in his eyes. He lifts his gaze and nearly questioned his consciousness. _‘She’s not doing it here, is she? Wait, is she?’ _He internally groaned. They’re not really in condition to fight against this many agents. More blades than he can count flew in the air, all pointed towards the enemies. Karliah and Brynjolf were wise enough to back away from her.

In the middle of the cistern, she stood.

Skin beaming with magic.

Wrath blazing like wildfire in her eyes.

_Ah, shit. Here we go._

* * *

**Did a little art in tumblr! Whole post is [here](https://kittyplaysandcries.tumblr.com/post/617449312049414144/lucien-this-isnt-the-splash-mountain-you-told-me) _hehehehe_**

This is my eternal mood, though:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehello. OTL How is everyone? Getting to step outside again is a bit of an adventure. It's like a ghost town but cheerier because of the vibrant colors. Flowers are blooming in my place :D Y'know, it's actually amazing how much plantlife grew outside our homes with all these lockdown and quarantine stuff. On the downside, it's summer again and I live next to the sun and I have less time working on writing and art. D:
> 
> Anyway, here's a little update! We're getting there. Watch your back, Mercer. We're coming for your ass. (((o(｀･∧･´)o)))


	48. A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victory, rest, fun, or revelation. It all but takes a moment to ensure one's grasp into these things.

**047**

**A Moment**

Their soldiers barely had time to react when she unleashed a wave of blades towards the hostile party, unbeknownst to them that it was only to get their attention. The real assault was her cooking up their captors from the inside. The tides turned in mere seconds.

“What are you standing there for!? Help me!” She cried out at her fellow thieves. Her friends only took the hint once the grip on them loosened, their captors began screaming in agony, their insides boiling. They successfully crossed to her side with the guild covering their backs—a bunch of rogues against a dozen magic users. It was a riot. But they’ll pull through.

They always do.

Through a bruised eye it was hard to keep up what’s happening, what _she’s_ doing. It was fast, much faster than they expected from thieves. She didn’t had much need for movement—taking advantage of the chaotic situation, she took her place in the backlines, in the shadows. Casting, observing, Lucien attaching himself on her like a lost child, and it fell upon Kaidan and the others to make sure anyone who comes too close will not make it.

As Kaidan struck down an enemy, he looked around. What little time he has to scan the situation had him realize just how deadly it truly was to fight against lighter foes. The guild made it look like child’s play to exploit the agents’ weaknesses, easily finding an opening and sinking their blades or an arrow in it. But maybe it was also worth noting that someone is making the thalmor rooted in place by growing ice shards on their feet.

“No faster way?” He turned around to ask her.

Eyes cold as her magic struck him and he tensed for a bit, same as Inigo and Lucien, no doubt. Her silence lasted only a few seconds before her palms stopped glowing effectively. “They wanted to bloody their blades. I thought it’d help instead of them butchering each other over some disagreement.” She says, letting loose another of her knives to a thalmor running towards them. Does she even need back up?

“Those who are too injured, hang back.” She stepped in front of them, sparks of electricity crackling off of her skin as she balls her fists. “I’m not asking.”

They could only share a grim look when the mother hen took off. Cleaning this place up later will not be much of a pleasant task.

* * *

You retrieve your dagger from the corpse with a squelch. It might only be luck that you outnumber them but that’s not reason enough for celebration. Hearing the waning voice of one of the Thalmor, you hollered for Rune, another thief, to stay his hand.

“What? What do you mean spare them? They just tried to slaughter us all!” He reasoned.

“Tie them up. We might want to ask a few questions first.” You presented them several vials of liquid you looted from the fallen ones. Blasted thalmors. Whoever created this potion must have been paid well for this to spread to almost every other agent of the Dominion. “I can make them talk.”

“Huh? Is that some sort o’drugs?” Delvin inquired.

“Aye. One not even your guild would want.” Marie butted in, restorative energies emitting from her palms.

Granting your request, it was indeed revealed that Mercer’s the one who tipped them. The good news was the drugged agent admitted that this was an unreported operation. The ambitious head of the mission hoped to gain a promotion should they return successfully—which they will not. You exhaled in relief upon acquiring this information. Just how lucky can one be?

“What are you relaxing for? Mercer almost killed everyone here!” Waving off Vex’s outburst, you explained to her that it only confirms Mercer’s guilt. That also meant he cared no longer if there’s no guild to return to. “Which only means one thing. Mercer has a plan that no longer required the Guild’s resources.” Brynjolf concluded. He sent you a worried look then beckoned for Karliah, probably to draw up some plans.

You rubbed your hands and conjured up some magicka, tending to your friends with haste. “This Mercer Frey’s crossing too many lines.” Lucien spoke lowly by your side as he bandages Inigo’s chest wound. “He’ll pay.” You mutter back. He didn’t respond and you wondered for a while if he’s having conflicting emotions of his own. One may not wish for the death of his enemy but what if it’s the only solution? Everything’s just a blank. It usually is after a dangerous encounter. After you cut down an enemy.

_Forget what is wrong, nothing is right. It’s just the only way if you want to keep your life_. You can’t really expect Lucien to handle it so fast. You know that hadn’t sunk in you for years after your first kill.

Moving on to Auri, you couldn’t hide the grimace taking over as you examine the severe cut on her cheekbone. A few more centimetres and it would’ve made her blind in the right eye. You snap out of your murderous thoughts when her hand touches yours. “Sorry. We were clumsy.”

“Shut up.” You bitterly chuckled, not letting the situation get the better of you. “Let’s try not to do this again for another month.”

“We can try.” Rumarin coughed, patching his own leg. “Bastards got me first. Good thing the archer’s aim was off. I nearly took an arrow to the knee.” Laughing it off was easy. What good does it do to dwell on bad things when they’re already done? Rumarin will no doubt say the same.

But you got a bad feeling this is just the beginning of a bigger problem.

* * *

The ever noisy Bee and Barb was the nearest place to lose yourself in. There’s a nice, dark corner in the building where you can comfortably be forgotten by the rest of the world... or so you expected to be left alone anyway.

An alluring scent of fruit and wine invaded your senses as Kaidan slides you a mug of Velvet LeChance. Dropping down your hands off your face and sending the man a clueless look, he confirms that this wasn’t so much of a blow on the overall finances.

“Give yourself some break. We all deserve it.” He huffed out as he claimed the seat beside you; one hand reached to stretch his still aching shoulder. You nodded, taking a sip. “The rest are in their rooms now. Resting, I suppose. Except for Inigo. He was playing that lute he picked up in the Ratway when I passed by his room.” He reported. You nod and sip. “Turned me down flat when I invited him for a round of cards and drink. Can you believe it.” Kaidan scoffs out a laugh. Again, a nod and a sip. “You’re not going to plant yourself in this corner and be a miserable lout the whole time, are you?”

You paused first. He wanted to talk and he was making it obvious. The man’s not really known to be subtle with his goals. You didn’t really wanted to ignore him but what’s there to talk about? There’s a threat out there. Your friends are harmed. Beaten, broken, stood their ground in order to buy you time, to shield you. They didn’t deserve it, they shouldn’t have been in there in the first place. None of them was supposed to get hurt like that. Somebody had to answer for such cruelty. The guild made sure those agents paid with blood—but you know damn well who you blame. So there it is; the answer to why you can’t bring yourself to entertain this swordsman. Here’s why you only nod and sip—

“It wasn’t your fault. Tell me you know that?”

Kaidan held down your mug, forcing you to recognize his existence. For a short tempered man, he is surprisingly perceptive of people’s moods. You gave in and met his worry filled eyes. Lips trembling, it was a shock you even had anything to say. “Someone’s at fault—” “And it’s not you.” He firmly insisted. “You can’t keep doing this every time.” Reprimanding, but not harsh. You nearly forgot this side of him existed until tonight.

“What do you mean?”

“Call us a team and act alone.”

“I do not—”

“Don’t lie to yourself. Why would you solely blame yourself for something everyone had a role in? You might as well blame Lucien for escorting those thieves out, or Auri for being the first to go down.” He debated, determination growing more and more in those defying eyes. “You can blame me for not being able to protect them.”

“But you can’t do that alone!” you snapped.

“And neither can you!” He spat back. Oh. You see where he’s getting at. ‘_I’m wallowing too much aren’t I...?’_ Now you feel tired _and_ stupid from not realizing this sooner. “I’m not talking to a child. You know what it means to be a group. Snap out of it.” Kaidan says, leaning in. “We’re with you all the way. We know the risks. We know _you_ do every time you throw yourself in danger for one of us. Will you accept that?” By this point, it was a bit hard to give an answer without a little booze to pump in some confidence, so he allowed you to swill it. The wine left a rough hot trail on your throat; maybe you ought to drink more calmly in the next. Allowing yourself to cough it out, a deep breath cleared out your senses of how fast your heart’s been racing.

“Maybe I’m so used to it. People protecting me at great lengths.” There’s a shiver in your voice, and Kaidan made sure he was paying attention as he puts down his drink. “It’s sickening at some point. I never want that to happen with us. To you or Inigo. I’m done watching people fall before me.”

“Diving straight to death is not the answer.” He counsels. Kaidan. Counselling. Things are mad.

“I know... But you do the same, don’t you?” Kaidan had the most conflicted look when you met eyes. You’ve seen how he fights. Sometimes he had this look like he doesn’t care what becomes of him in the height of battle.

“You’d know that, of course...” He sighed.

You drank some more, drowning your grim thoughts, nevermind the heaviness it sets inside your system. Both of you are brave—or that’s how it’s supposed to look. Deep down, both knew it’s just a half assed excuse to punish yourselves, thinking it’ll be well deserved to take the painful blows. You know he’s done some things he regret. As do you. Both of you are just trying to atone for those. And you....

You can’t even detail the events that caused your regrets. All you know is this desperate drive to prevent people you care about from dying. Even if it meant you’ll have to offer your own life. 

For the longest minute in your life, the silence between you was crushing; not like it used to be, comforting, relaxing, this was becoming unbearable. So you tried to salvage it, not wanting to just have him leave after this awkward dead end. He came with genuine intentions, yeah? He deserves something genuine back.

“I feel like... I’m bringing trouble to people even if I didn’t mean to. Then they have to pay for it while I walk out safely. That’s just not right. Unfair.” you stop your rambling when you see an unpleasant emotion in his eyes. Something in those just made you hurt, too. Blinking away the dry tears that have suddenly emerged you drink again. “I could go on and still not make sense. But you’ve given me a lot to think about, Kaidan. Thank you.”

“That’s what friends do... right?” He sounded almost confused, like he really has no idea. “You doubt yourself too much. Is that what being incredible entails now?” He cleared his throat in an effort to lighten his tone.

“Depends. Incredible what? Incredibly stupid. Incredibly daft-”

“Incredibly pessimistic, apparently.” He grunts softly, making you chuckle. “You’re not even modest, you just sound like you hate yourself.” He grins, taking a swig. “If you’re me, you would.” You sheepishly replied. “Well, I’m not. And I don’t.” He said without pause. That nearly got your attention. Lucky you, you’re in the middle of sipping.

“...You don’t know me, Kai.” You traced the rim of your cup, a sad smile reflecting on the beverage.

“I know you’re a sad drunk.” He quips, earning a teary laugh from you. “I’m _not_-, these are..” The tears you failed to hold back fell and betrayed you, causing you both to laugh even more. “Oh, I must look like I’m losing my mind. Maybe I am. There’s so much going on.” You shook your head, wiping off the last of it. But your chest feels lighter now. A portion of your burden is lifted, thanks to this man.

“I’m here for you.” He smiles, making you feel all silly and bright. “You’re amazingly patient. Surprising, if I must admit.” You mused. The tavern music grows livelier by the second, but you can clearly hear your heartbeat amidst all of it. “I’m amazing in many things, if you had the care to find out.” He leans in with a spark of mischief. Ah, now this is Velvet LeChance talking. Charming.

“Well.... I’m all for surprises.” You spoke coyly, smirking at his proposal. “The floor’s still got room for us.”

Kaidan turns around and watch the merry folks dance in circles, spirits high and fuelled by booze. He gazes at her questioningly but finds himself amused by the offer nonetheless. “You want to dance, really? Don’t blame me if I step on your foot.” He says.

“Not if I step on you first.”

Chugging down the rest of their drinks, he grabs her hand and they gladly joined the crowd in its activity. The night hadn’t played out the way you planned it but you were right in the end. This was the place you can lose yourself in and no one will ever care you existed for the time being.

Well.

Kaidan does.

And there’s nobody else you’d rather get lost in the moment with.

* * *

_ **Two days later...** _

“Hey kid, look at this.” Vex snaps her fingers at you, floorboard creaking softly from her steps. “Wh- Not because Mercer’s not here, means we can waltz around his estate.” The follow up sermon was due to you lingering around Mercer’s property longer than you should. A bust replica of The Gray Fox.

“Can I bring this to the guild?” The question surprised even you, but Vex’s response was new. She shrugs, clearly uninterested whether you steal the thing or not. You two have been dispatched to raid the man’s place to find anything that might reveal his location or plans but instead you find this mini statue.

They said he looked up to the Gray Fox. Mercer Frey is going against everything the Gray Fox you know stood for.

“Got it.” She smugly cheers as she waves out some rolled parchment out of the strongbox. “Look at these. Some plan of some sort. I don’t have a good feeling about it but I bet Brynjolf or Karliah knows.” She rambled on as you made your way to an under passage. Once reaching the end to a much more familiar sewer alley, she confronts your strange passivity. “Spit it out,” She says rather impatiently. “If there’s anything I know from a mute like you, it’s that you unfortunately won’t shut the hell up in important circumstances like this.”

“N-nothing at all. Well..” you scratched your cheeks, feeling a little bit intimidated. “You were here when things were good. How do you feel about it...? The truth revealed.”

“I don’t even know if this information is worth shite. But I swear, I swear I _will_ run my blade through Mercer if I get to him first. I-...” she pauses, holding back. Sensing the flash of vulnerability she allowed there for a second, you took the hint and insisted on going forward. “Let’s just keep moving, Vex.” Divines know she ain’t the only hard-ass you know. You just happened to ask and now your curiosity is sated.

Getting betrayed by someone you’ve worked with for so long, just like that in a snap. Gotta be real shitty.

Indeed, Brynjolf knew of the plans; made a huge fuss over it, really. You’ve never seen him this wound up about something. Mercer’s grand plan or something. You weren’t really listening to the growing commotion on their lovely work station. While everyone have been scuffling about, Inigo and Rumarin were getting drinks from Vekel and you decided that joining might be the most productive thing you can do right now.

“Heard anything interesting?” Rumarin asked, pouring your tankard some of his ale. You shook your head, huffed out some words and gulped down your worries with the drink. “I’d rather we just stumble on his corpse than follow his tracks like they’re planning on doing. This is just too risky.” The bastard did send an entire squad of Thalmor soldiers, right? Who’s to say he’s not capable of more.

“At least it’s good to see you spirited for once.” Inigo pointed out. When he gained a pair of shocked looks, he elaborated, “Well you have been less depressing to look at since Kaidan showed you his moves.”

“_PFFT—_"

“_Moves_?” Rumarin nearly had his eyebrow reach new heights upon watching you sputter out your drink.

“Not like that—! We were dancing...” You hid the mortification behind your drink, recognizing it does nothing to stop your ears from blushing.

“Dancing?” He glanced at you two with hurt painted in his eyes. “No one told me, why??” “Goodness, you were in need of much rest that day. All of you did.” You gritted, already hopeful to steer this conversation into another matter.

“Except for Kaidan, apparently.” Inigo mutters before drinking.

“Even if he did, he still spared her some time.” Rumarin leans forward to you and squints, “You know what they say when someone starts giving you exceptions, right?”

You couldn’t help but sneer this time, “Rumarin, if I started looking at it wrong, I know _exactly_ who to glare at—”

“Hey kid, got a moment? They’re callin’ for you.” Delvin hollers, inviting you back in the cistern. You were more than eager to be borrowed, leaving the conversation as fast as you can before things get too weird and closed off your hearing from your friends’ sniggering. _‘They’re not really suggesting...’_ You stopped yourself from going further. Shake off the thoughts, you cannot afford to be distracted right now.

Brynjolf crossed the distance in a few strides to deliver you an update. “You’re still here. Good. The plans you and Vex found is very bad news for us, lass. He’s going for the Eye of Falmer..” The look on Karliah’s face has never been grimmer when he notes that it was Gallus’ pet project. “..If he gets his hands on them, you can be certain he'll be gone for good and set up for life.”

“What!? Do we know where he is? He needs to be stopped!” Sapphire strongly expressed.

“Agreed. He's taken everything the Guild has left, and to go after one of the last greatest heists is just an insult.” Brynjolf then turns his gaze at you, leading you to where Karliah’s sitting. “I've spoken to Karliah, and made amends for how the Guild's treated her. Now she wishes to speak with both of us. I’m sure this’ll be quick.”

Little did your mentor knew what this quick talk would demand of him. Deciding Mercer’s fate? He’ll die, obviously. That’s an easy one. Finding out about all these Nightingale talks? He can walk with that; especially when a living proof—Karliah—stands in front of them, Gallus’ journal backing up everything she’s revealed thus far.

But this?

Being called out to follow her back out on the city’s outskirt and for what?

An offer that’ll leash you.

* * *

Dust flew almost unmoving, tiny pools of cool water glimmered as it reflected the rays of sun that slipped past the tiny cracks above. Steps echoed in this dark underground and hushed voices served as your guide.

_“My friend.”_

When Karliah beckoned you to come with her, you had no idea it would lead to her unveiling the secret of her order. Now you tread here at the base of Nightingales. Nocturnal’s faithful.

“My friend, are you okay?” A concerned hand reaches to tap your shoulder in the darkened cave.

“Inigo... This is..” You held your breath as your eyes roam the stone halls of an old establishment. Quickly, you paid your friend a glance; golden eyes reflecting the same level of awe in yours. It was only a miracle that Karliah allowed you to be accompanied by Inigo. He was instrumental in achieving the results she aimed right now, after all; letting him tag along was the least she can do to those who’ve rightfully earned her trust.

“Nightingale hall, huh?” Inigo mused, “I am disappointed. I expected singing birds.” He notes flatly, walking just beside you. Your silence or lack of reaction, however, got the better of his curious mood. “Is something wrong?” he nudges after making sure you’re out of earshot from the two older thieves.

Slowly, you take his hand and whispered as low as possible. “Inigo... They’re talking about recruitment. Nightingales. Can’t you hear them?” And is it the deathly silence bouncing off the walls or just the thing in your chest really loud? “My friend, do you think they’ll let me go?” You gulped down. You can’t be ready for this? Initiation to a daedric prince? Doesn’t that mean you have to stay in the guild?

“You’re more concerned about that than the fact that it’ll probably bind your soul? This is a daedric prince, my friend.” Even Inigo couldn’t shake off his surprise.

Daedric princes and soul bindings. Who cares about that? “All I care about it getting away from this as soon as possible with Mercer dead. What I don’t need is a collar around my neck.”

“So, this is Nightingale Hall. I heard about this place when I joined the Guild, but I never believed it existed.” They heard the seniors talk as they tail them inside the abandoned interior. “The assumption that the Nightingales were just a myth was seeded within the Guild on purpose. It helped avert attention from our true nature.” Karliah paused without looking at the nord. “What's wrong, Brynjolf? I can almost hear your brow furrowing."

“I’m trying to understand why I'm here, lass. I'm no priest, and I'm certainly not religious. Why pick me?”

“Karliah I..” you finally mustered the courage, “I don’t know if anyone told you but.. I was _supposed_ to leave after this. I can’t commit myself to _this_ if this is where it’s going.”

Brynjolf was decent enough to back you up despite their need of numbers. Maybe he understood that this was somehow partially his fault, given that he’s the one who talked you into it. The dark elf pinched the bridge of her nose. It was pretty dim with only a few torches lit all the way here—but you see it in her defeated expression. She didn’t want this either.

“I wouldn’t have brought you two here if I knew there’s another option. This is a business contract, Brynjolf. You have to trust me when I say none of us stands a clear chance. Mercer is _still_ a Nightingale. The only way to secure the defeat of one is to be overwhelmed by one of his own.” She explained as clear as she can till you reached a certain room.

Brynjolf abruptly protested, “Woah there, lass. You need to start making sense, because I’m not about to accept this _contract_ without knowing the terms.”

“Karliah, my friend is about to leave the guild. I don’t see why it’s necessary to tie her down with your daedric prince.” Inigo added.

“You’ve helped me this far. I shall give you clearer answers.” She pulled a lever and the rusted doors slid open. The room inside was evidently ancient but was better maintained than the rest of what you’ve seen. Several ruined furniture decorated the area and chests were arranged at the end of it, a broken statue still standing in the middle. You watch the dunmer inspect the vicinity, a woman reconnecting to her yesterday. “The terms are quite simple, Brynjolf. Nocturnal will allow you to become a Nightingale and use your abilities for whatever you wish. And in return, both in life and in death, you must serve as a guardian of the Twilight Sepulcher.” She fiddles with a chest’s locks and continued, “I’ve been exiled for twenty five years. Becoming Nightingale doesn’t exactly mean you have to stay with the guild. Or do Nocturnal’s work. Our Mistress doesn’t have _any_ work, not that we know of. What Nightingales do, _what Mercer, Gallus and I was sworn to do, _was do protect her temple whenever it’s threatened. She doesn’t demand your soul. What she seeks in return for her influence...” the dark elf turned around and gestured at the fine set of stark black armors at their disposal. “..is service.”

A long sigh escaped Brynjolf, seemingly giving her words thought. “Aye, there's always a catch. But at this point, I suppose there isn't much to lose. If it means the end of Mercer Frey, you can count me in.”

“Are you sure Nocturnal doesn’t demand nothing more? This wasn’t what I learned about daedric princes.” You spoke out. Not an expert in such things but as far as you were concerned, these Daedras aren’t very friendly or generous for that matter.

“We can’t paint the daedric princes all the same. Nocturnal’s domain is mystery itself.” Says Karliah. “You must heed my request, young one. Mercer... is out of control. I do not wish to see you die in our confrontation with him.”

“If I agree and we succeed in killing Mercer... Can I still leave the guild?”

Karliah takes a quick glance at Brynjolf and Inigo before nodding. “Nightingales remain with the guild to continue protecting this secret. How you act on this power lent to us will be your own choice. The risk is yours, if you must insist.”

“That’s it? Power and freedom and all I will be asked for at best is to protect some isolated temple when a random enemy deems its dusty halls worth raiding?” You shrugged, reaching to quickly shake Karliah’s hand. “This is stupid. But I’ll take my chances.”

Well. Inigo should be in for an interesting moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah, reopening after quarantine ate a lot of my time. Sorry, this was really late, but I managed to salvage it :D Then my laptop broke along with the chapter I was supposed to post XD omg my life. :'))) I don't mind the chapters, I've got it all uploaded here. What I mourn rn are my unfinished artworks 💀.
> 
> Wow I can't believe how disappointed I am to not be able to willingly ignore all my pending projects anymore. (゜▽゜;)
> 
> How's everyone? Staying safe, I hope? Pls stay safe 💞💖


	49. I Can Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Encounters with the Daedric Prince of everything sketchy and mysterious, stumbling on Mythic Dawn spies, one can only worry for so much. Thank the Divines for Kaidan; and a bit of urging from Rumarin.

**048**

**I Can Help**

  
  


** _“What’s this? Such uniqueness. Ignorant to its nature, no doubt...”_ **

Inigo couldn’t believe his ears. Or his mind. Was he imagining this? He’s off on skooma but maybe this is what’s causing those voices inside the barred chamber, a withdrawal or something—it must be!

** _ “You surprise me, Karliah. This offer is definitely weighted in my favor.”_ **

There! There’s that chilling voice coming from inside again. Ghastly enough to make his furs stand on end. He can’t spell out whatever they’re talking about but whenever that _ woman _speaks, it surely sends thousands of shivers down his spine. It seems like their so-called ‘contract signing’ is working out as Karliah had hoped, though. Inigo has no qualms against it—so far, his best friend appeared in favor with it so long as she gets to retire from the guild afterwards.

* * *

Lucien kindly kept to himself. A glass of milk, a hot meal in a decent inn, a good book about Aedras and Daedras to read by the fire in their room. Now only if he can close his ears off from that persistent tapping on the table...

“Kaidan, do you mind?” He voiced out in slight vexation.

The man simply raised his hands in surrender, made a disgruntled noise and instead, took out a bottle of ale from their stash. “They’re not back yet. I wonder if something happened.”

“You’re worrying now?” Auri asked from the other room. Thin walls around here. No wonder rumors spread so quickly. “Tell him he can worry in silence!” Rumarin generously added. How Auri keeps that altmer under control is a mystery. But one can assume it is no different from an eagle hovering over its meal.

Kaidan wisely ignored his companions on the other side and addressed his concerns quietly with Lucien, “They didn’t inform us anything except that they need to do something for the guild. They’re suspiciously discreet. It’s disconcerting.” He said. Speaking of friends silently popping out of existence, “Wait, where’s miss Lyanna?” Lucien asked.

Suddenly, their door forced open—and as funny as it is that Lyanna showed up right after he asked, the vigilant’s pale face only brought them grave news. That and the growing stain of blood on her side, too.

“Goodness-!” Lucien was always particular in handling books, but surely his conscience wouldn’t mind that he’d easily let it fall carelessly as he rushed to the vigilant’s aid. “W-what happened? Didn’t you guys confirm everyone’s completely healed?”

“Pack your things—now. _ NOW! _ ” Lyanna pushed the two of them aside, nearly crashing on the table. Her hand’s cupped around her stomach but the flickering glow of magic doesn’t bode well. Auri quickly appeared to check on them. “ _ Gasp! _ What in Yffre... This isn’t good.” She says, examining the brunette’s physique. “She’s been poisoned. Go. Clear out as she says. I’ll try my best to mend her.”

“Now? How did you even end up getting stabbed?!” Rumarin peeks by the door.

“I lost them in the crowd but..” Lyanna groaned in pain, “...they’ll find out soon enough. We must.. I will explain later—_ argh! _”

“Just go! We’ll find the others!” Kaidan barks, half their junk already wrapped up.

After swiftly bailing out of the place, nervous footsteps took them to the walls outside the city. An unfamiliar path, but they’ll make do. The roads led to different paths, to the forest, one towards the main road and another around the farms. Diving deep into the covers of the woods, Lyanna started to fill them in once they made a semi decent camp.

“I was in the plaza, scouting for a new enchantable map. They moved in quickly and hid with the crowd. Someone got in close and pushed in their thin blade... I thought they were after the money but when I got away, none of my items were lost. But my blood left trails. That’s when I knew what they were.”

“Cultists! Are you sure!?” Kaidan almost hissed. _ Almost. _

“I don’t know how they tracked us there but.. It must’ve been due to overstaying in the city. Damn it! I can’t believe they caught up so fast..” Lyanna cursed under her breath, one hand carefully healing herself, the other gripping a sword like her life depended on it. “Dagon followers... You can always expect danger just by hearing of their presence.”

“Hold on—you expected them?” Rumarin paused tending to the flames. “You didn’t think we’d like to know about this earlier?” The boiling of soup filled in the heavy silences between the group. Lyanna simply lowered her head with regret. “I didn’t want to distract her. But it was my complacency that allowed us to be unguarded.” She ended her sentence in a shaky apology.

For an hour, they sat around the fire in relative silence, darkness falling on their surroundings. Lucien assists Auri in mixing ingredients to combat poison and learning on the side, Kaidan setting some noise traps, while Rumarin finishes up the group’s dinner. It’s not as fabulous as tavern stews but it’ll keep their bellies filled. In all honesty, he didn’t expect Lucien to be so quiet about their tasteless meals on the road. The lad has adapted to this lifestyle far quicker than he gives himself credit for.

And Lyanna. The vigilant certainly blends in. They wouldn’t even realize she’s there until she makes a noise. Is that really their house signature? Rumarin watched the breton work on the antique map, hoping to consume the last of its enchantment in locating Candle or Inigo.

The altmer gives the pot one last swirl and breaks the silence. “We should really buy our backups whenever we step inside a city.” They don’t, of course, for convenient reasons such as space consumption and other money related things that he’s too bored to remember. “Here, eat up.” He approaches, placing a wooden bowl filled with cabbage soup. He would ask if she had any luck but at this point, she might as well just send a bird.

“What the.. D’you here that?!” She shouts, standing way too fast to the distant sound of a horn.

“_The_ _soup!_—”

“Wait, I know that sound-” Kaidan leaps to their vicinity in a matter of seconds. That’s odd. She almost never uses it unless they’re trying to scare away some animals before camping. “The horn... Bloody woman! She’s near!” the swordsman grabbed a still burning log and didn’t think twice about bursting into a sprint towards the source, leaving the rest to come up with their own plans. Of course the vigilant immediately followed suit—if there’s even the slightest chance that her mistress would cross paths with the Mythic Dawn.

No. Please. Not that.

Rumarin didn’t even get a word out; his mouth opened to form some kind of protest but the others were too quick to improvise. Bowls and gears cluttered, discarded easily by Auri as she mounts Thistlefoot to go after the two.

“Guess we’re doing the uhm.. _ heavy _ lifting?” Lucien’s awkwardness cracks through the altmer’s state of loss. As if just staring at their camping gears will command it to pack itself.

Positioned steadily and an arrow already half drawn, yet Auri couldn’t stop being anxious. Though she followed behind Kaidan and Lyanna, the itch on her fingertips kept growing. She expects the enemy to reveal itself at a moment’s notice but what if their friends are being held hostage? A simply missed fire might and probably will result in this going southwards _ very _ fast. Her ears twitched. There’s fighting. Faint yelling. Tiny blasts _ whooshing _through the field. This isn’t a battle of blades.

“Over there—_ ah, crap! _” She barely paid attention to the swordsman cursing when he tripped on some corpse in the dark. They take a turn just out in the woods and find more people either on the ground or fighting with someone. Relying on instinct and auditory signs, she lets loose an arrow on the direction in which a fireball came hurling at them. Her vision’s still adjusting to the dark but a foreign scream affirmed her resolve.

_ “Well, who woulda thought!” _

There’s this distinct _ smug _in that surprised tone that only one person can create. One swift motion and she sent three attackers flying away from a telekinetic barrier. A sharp exhale no short of exhaustion escaped her, running away quickly to meet her friends halfway.

“My lady! Oh, Divines-“ the vigilant nearly turned to vegetable when Candle’s blood smeared face reached the torch’s light. A thousand apologies rushed out of Lyanna but her mistress silenced her gently. “How did you.. There’s legions of them.” Kaidan stood perplexed at the sight of numerous bodies lying unconscious around them. Not dead, of course but that makes it even more of a surprise. 

It has been mentally noted that somewhere further down the terrain, a certain khajiit is struggling to keep the same enthusiasm. _ “Feel free to join in here anytime, my friend! Urgh!” _Is what Kaidan thought he heard.

Candle shrugged, “Worry not. They aren’t fighters.”

“And they’re beaten to a pulp because...?”

“They jumped on me first. With multiple _ice _spikes! So I blew the horn hoping it’ll attract some help and now _you’re_ here. Would you rather I let them set my ass on fire?” She puts it as a matter of fact. Candle then tilts her head, blankly stared at the torch and something akin to bemusement passes through her feature. “No, no. You’re blinding yourself with this... Here.” she whispered before _stealing _the fire, throwing it down the path as a mediocre fireball that catches someone, setting them ablaze. _Coincidentally_, that someone turns out to be who Inigo was up against. Now that their visions had adjusted better to the dark, they spotted their furry friend hopping around the screaming maniac, mouth gaping wide open, “You did _not _just do that! I was just right here—” “Hey, you were yelling the whole time!” they bickered yet if anything, their sudden temper was purely out of thrill and possibly even _fun_.

Wait a minute. This fight is too easy.

“There’s only two of you? How did you even manage to knock down so many?” Kaidan had half a mind to sheathe his sword with how suspiciously smooth this situation is turning out.

Again she shrugs. “Right? Thought it’d be a tough fight. It turned out that way at first until I realized they’re mostly rookie level mages. Bright magic in the dark? That’s not a good strategy against faster blades. Exposes your location and blocks the vision, ya see.” The woman is ridiculously nonchalant for someone who just got their face nearly torn off from wounds. She’s more... unfazed than usual. Like this whole scenario is not sinking in. “Who are these anyway? They started attacking us without reason..”

“Dagon’s worshippers. They’re agents.” Lyanna finally regained composure, proceeding to heal up some of Candle’s wounds.

“Oh. They’re just kids? Shame we couldn’t talk it out.”

“Not very good in actual confrontation, by the looks of it.” Nobody said to count but pretty sure there’s more than a dozen here. “We should kill the stragglers.”

Auri nodded, nocking ready an arrow when Candle interrupted. “Not like that. I know there’s no room for love for this lot... But killing them on the spot doesn’t solve this. Vigilants,” she snaps her fingers, “Think you can send word to one of your guys? Have them interrogated. Maybe you can even shake their faith.” Auri and Kaidan shared a surprised look. Didn’t take their friend to be this opportunistic, but the possibility of gaining intel on the enemy does make for a pretty picture. _ To Kaidan especially _—if these cultists persist, he’ll surely have to get rid of them. One way or another.

_ ‘I won’t go back to that life again...’ _

“—Kai. Are you with us? Said let’s clean this place up before the patrols send in their men.” She points at the few newly awakened people stumbling away from them. They’re fairly young and in simple clothing. Not even wearing any decent armor and they were to attack them on sight? They can work as spies, sure, but this... Whoever sent them expected these lot to get annihilated. And he could read it from the vigilant’s face. The one who poisoned her wasn’t here. What this group was supposed to do was not to kill them. It was to reveal Candle’s allies.

The swordsman twisted on his heel, eyes desperately scanning the darkened woods. Anything, _ anything _to give away the real spy’s location—

“Don’t bother. They’re gone.” Auri commented upon noticing his unease. “The job is spying. They need only to observe and already got what they came for.” She says with a hint of frustration before marching after their companions.

Aye. He wondered about what Candle’s life was like after High Rock. This here—This _ can’t-stay-in-one-place-for-too-long _ is a glimpse _ . _ And something he was more than familiar with, as everyone already knew. Kaidan looked on at the two breton ladies working.

_ ‘At least she’s still got someone left...’ _

* * *

“Okay, two things that bugs me.” Rumarin inches closer to Kaidan by the fire. After the earlier encounter, they couldn’t obviously retire back to Riften. Lyanna rounded up a few hold guards to assist her _ “Vigilant business” _ and promised to find them with the new enchanted map. That was hours ago. A decently hidden spot near a lake is all they can settle for—hopefully, not for long.

“—so I don’t understand why they had to send those apprentices to their deaths.” Kaidan was barely listening to the altmer, but he does share the same confusion. “Second, is she alright?”

What.

“Look. She and that cat traipsed out of the city with those thieves and she went back a...” Rumarin wrinkled his nose, pausing shortly in search of a word, “..little more _ blank _.” Truly, only a little? Even he doesn’t seem so convinced.

“You do?” Kaidan asks, genuinely curious. They know her superiors went back to the guild after their meeting. But they’ve yet to tell them what this talk of theirs consisted. “I suppose it wasn’t just my imagination.” He murmured. When they asked Inigo about it, the khajiit evaded answering by retreating early to his tent. _ Ask her— _is what he suggested. And speaking of the devil, Candle comes back to the camp to take watch.

* * *

**_Earlier in Nightingale Hall…_ **

“Tell me about the Nightingales.” It wasn’t a question nor was it a demand. The Nightingale armor surprisingly fits, yet your skin itches for the lighter comforts of your old leather and chainmail cuirass. If you are to take this oath, you might as well know anything necessary about it.

“Gallus, Mercer Frey and I were once members of what's known as the Nightingale Trinity.” And that Trinity disbanded twenty five years ago when Mercer Frey betrayed them. “Were they a part of the Thieves Guild?”

“Indirectly. The Trinity is usually selected from the ranks of the Guild although its existence is a closely-guarded secret.” Karliah said, shedding light to the questions you had about her person weeks ago. “Our duty is to protect the temple of Nocturnal, Twilight Sepulcher—the place Mercer defiled as I’ve mentioned.”

“I never met a thief that worshipped anything.”

“Maybe we truly don’t. Nocturnal isn't one for worship and reverence. There are no priests and no sermons, no services and no alms. She influences our luck and in return demands payment.”

“And the payment is?”

“Who knows? She doesn't demand payment in the traditional sense and sometimes the cost can be quite high. Whether you know it or not, Nocturnal dictates how well we perform as rogues.”

You’ve heard a thing or two about this mysterious Daedric prince in your time with the Gray Fox. None of it really described how her motives worked, only that she isn’t as violent as the other nobles would teach their children. That and no mentions of Nightingales being a real thing. Yet here you are, about to become one.

“No one really knew?” Brynjolf spoke up, finally adjusting to his suit. “Nocturnal's whim is the greatest mystery to everyone. There have been volumes written on the subject. Does she expect payment when we die? When we suffer does she revel in our misery? No one knows. The return certainly seems worth the risk though.” The dunmer gestured at herself and the hall itself.

Before reaching the grand chamber, she turns around and gave you and Inigo a grateful bow. “I should thank you while we have the proper chance. From the moment you were struck with my poisoned arrow at Snow Veil Sanctum, my path changed its course. You two have been... unexpected. I couldn't bring Mercer back alive, but together, we were able to clear my name and put Gallus's memory to rest. I will never forget that.” Says Karliah, her voice fragile but filled with emotions even you thought would never arise from her. “I’d always intended Mercer's fate to ultimately be decided by the Guild, and it seems they've spoken.”

Inigo returned an equally grateful smile and sniggered at you, “Religion and thieves make odd bedfellows. But who am I to say?”

“This isn't about religion or destiny. This is nothing more than a business transaction between them and Nocturnal. Consider this an extremely risky job but with a massive potential for profit,” Karliah smiled. “and your friend will do fine.”

Did you really? Hearing about Nocturnal from Karliah was one thing. Hearing _ directly _from a Daedric prince was another.

“Lady Nocturnal, we accept your terms. We dedicate ourselves to you as both your avengers and your sentinels. We will honor our agreement in this life and the next until your conditions have been met.” Those were Karliah’s words. Binding the three of you into Nocturnal’s name. Everything that’s been happening until now felt indifferent. This wasn’t the first time an apparition bearing such immense power appeared in front of you. The only difference was that this entity’s cloaked with murky shadows the same way light shrouded that lady in the prison. 

_ ‘Was that also a daedric prince?’ _

**_“And you’re sure you will take this path?”_** Thoughts vanished like snuffed out candles when you hear the voice call out to you. Your gaze slowly lifted from the ground to dare look at the being. Is she... asking you? No. The tone wasn’t curious. Her voice resonated in your mind, searching, seeping, seeing nothing. Not a blank but a canvass smeared into a blur.

** _“Do you really not know or are you merely denying what is already written?” _ ** Again, your words fail to form. You could only gawk in utter shock. ** _“Fascinating. Very well. I name your initiates Nightingale and I restore your status to the same, Karliah. And in the future, I'd suggest you refrain from disappointing me again.”_ ** Those were her parting words as she vanished into thick smoke and spectral crows.

It was fine. You were fine. You didn’t believe in destiny. Not anymore. You stopped believing so it has to be fake. It’s why you were so indifferent in matters of faith and afterlife. But how—how did she know? More importantly, why does it feel like Nocturnal’s making sense?

_ ‘Was I really wrong all this time?’ _

* * *

The high elf nudges him, obviously hinting that he approach her and ask. _ “Why me?” _He mouths back. Who knew an eye roll and a head shake was enough to annoy him into compliance. Leaving the campfire, he quietly strolls to her post; a fallen trunk that they pushed to overview the lake.

“Kaidan.” She greets. A quick nod, a tiny smile from her bandaged covered face. For a while, she lets him sit in silence beside her. Him finishing his bottle of ale while she medicates herself as carefully as she can.

Does she struggle still with self restoration? He can almost draw out an answer from her in the back of his mind.

“Glancing at me again... I know what you’re thinking. But I gotta leave some magicka, just in ca—”

“Just in case.”

“... Yeah.” There was a momentary pause, followed by stifled laughter. “It’s that obvious, eh?”

“Need a hand?” He says. Candle stares at him—pondering, surveying, till hope glinted in her eyes all of a sudden and he finds himself smiling back. “You got us worried when you took so long with Brynjolf. What happened?” He started, holding out his hand. Taking his offer, she placed hers on top and began trying. “We-.. discussed things. Stuff. About Mercer Frey’s possible whereabouts.” And she divulged all the things detailing their plan for the traitor. In fact, she dropped so many details that Kaidan’s already sure it was to make up for anything she was omitting at this very moment.

Kaidan was no fool. She knows this.

“Crap. I’m... I’m actually scared.” She admitted shakily. “A dwemer ruin.. Lucien would blow up if he knew. Then the cultists. I should be angry, shouldn’t I? But I can’t. My memory about them is hazy and I’m annoyed at them for going after us at best, but nothing more personal. Marie told me it might be for the better that only she should carry the burden of having a clear picture of those massacres. I never felt the threat until I saw them again earlier. And now I know how Mercer—”

Kaidan waited for the pause to end. Two. Three. Four. He thought she was concentrating on the healing process, seeing as her bruises began to fade. But half became a minute and he still hasn’t gotten any word out of her. “How he what?”

She blinks and the magic stops. “What?”

“You were saying something.”

Her brows furrowed, “I—sorry. I lost my track. I only meant Mercer’s got wind of Karliah’s involvement long before I got back from making Gulum-Ei sing. He intended for me to go so he could dispose of me. Apparently, I was threatening his sway over the guild.” Her tone lowered into disappointment. “That bastard... I didn’t even do anything to dethrone his greedy ass.” 

“You’ve got problems facing him?”

“Marie has something to lose. I don’t. At least... I don’t think so. If I go, she can find another purpose back with the Vigilants. But I don’t want her to lose another family so I’ll fight.”

Be that all she said, Kaidan’s ears focused particularly on a certain part. “What do you mean you’ve nothing to lose? What about your freedom? Isn’t that why you’re here?” He didn’t recall squeezing her hand but his are firmly wrapped around hers now. The woman shakes her head with a sad smile. “It’s a charming thought. But I don’t value it as much as I should. Probably because I don’t know what I’ll do with it—”

“Then I’ll help.” He blurted out all too fast.

Her smile turned into a confused one as she tilted her head. “I’ll help you find purpose. Freedom is not something everyone has a chance of redeeming. _ I _ know this. You shouldn’t be casting it aside like it’s nothing grand.”

Candle scratches her jaw, a bit taken aback by her companion’s sudden boldness. “Apologies. I know what you mean—I intend to live, truly I do! But Kai... I don’t know what else I can do aside from _ this. _” She gestures at her covered face. “So even if I can finally say I’m free, there might not be much of a change later.”

“It’s still _ something _. And that’s better. We can make it better. If you’d like.” The swordsman placed a hand on her head and gently patted. 

People deserve a chance at freedom. This woman included. She may not have plenty of motivation for it but second chances are hard to come by. If she has trouble appreciating its importance, he’ll make her see. She has friends, _ she matters to people around her _, it’s their duty to remind her of that. She deserves it—and he owes her that much.

Gently, she pulls his hand. For sure, he thought she wanted to let go, so he did. What amused him was she proved him wrong. First she pulled off his gloves, only glancing upward to see if he’s going to resist. When he didn’t, she proceeded to take both. She guided his bare hands, soft and warm her hands were, that’s all he noticed until he was already cupping both sides of her cheeks. The thought of wanting to feel her skin crossed his mind—but something that weird will have to stay there. Right at the very back of his brain.

“Is the help for free?” Her voice was warmer now, quieter. Striking blue eyes gazing into his crimson ones.

A silent chuckle, a quick nod. Her eyes closed and he welcomed the stream of warm magic passing through his skin onto hers.

“A bottle of firebrand wine or two wouldn’t hurt.”

Shoulders shaking, they grinned like idiots, silly and uplifted—a very welcomed feeling in these troubled times. He’ll admit, he still disliked the idea of magic lurking near him but this one, he can make a very special exception. Tiny specs of light floated free off her skin; torchbugs, little stars that bubbled and scattered to the wind as leaves do on a breezy summer afternoon. And between these enchanting illumination, a timid brilliance who doesn’t know her influence.

_ “I didn’t know magic can be that pretty.” _

Only when her lips curled up had he realized the words he said out loud. It was surprising. Maybe he shouldn’t be. Meeting her still feels like yesterday, but he can’t deny the effects she has on him. On his views. On his life.

“Pretty magic in exchange for you helping me start over?” Genuine delight fluttered from the thin veil of mischief and Kaidan gave his answer by slowly resting his forehead on hers. It’s new, it feels good, feels light. Serenity fell upon them.

“Don’t be an idiot. We’re here for you.” Being there as an ally, a friend, a family, it doesn’t matter.

He can help.

...

...

“So we’re just gonna pretend we’re not seeing this?” Rumarin chewed on a rabbit leg, curling and stretching his toes while he warms his feet. Turning the page of the book he’s indulging in, Lucien quietly whispers to the elf beside him, “Let’s just leave them be. My parents do that all the time. Usually, there’s no absence of bickering before, though.” with his back turned at Candle’s post, he can conveniently see the strange amusement fleeting before the altmer’s face. “In Cyrodiil, we try to avoid making things unnecessarily weird.”

Rumarin laughs, conceding as he shifts back to face the campfire again.

There’s a lot ahead of them. Little moments of reprieve and bonding like this isn’t illegal. It’s human nature to find comfort when not in danger. What’s unacceptable though, is Rumarin consuming his fifth rabbit leg—

“W-, hey, that’s mine! No fair!”

“I am but a humble servant of my appetite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do a lot of fluff with the storyline moving haha :'D And I know the updates are meh. Admittedly, I have time after working hours but my brain's short circuiting from the fatigue x_x. I could only do so much as a few games in Dead by Daylight and pass out. I'll still do better so thank you for those checking this story out and giving kudos and hits!! (≖ᴗ≖✿) Pls stay safe! <3 <3


	50. Before Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final break they could ever get before storming Irkngthand. That and a little follow up for your swordsman.

**049**

**Before Midnight**

**   
  
**

“Now that you've transacted the Oath, it's time to reveal the final piece of the puzzle to you; Mercer's true crime.” Karliah didn’t dawdle jumping into business. And you didn’t hold back confusion from spreading all over your face. “He's done more??” you scoffed like a baffled fishwife.

“Mercer was able to unlock the Guild's vault without two keys because of what he stole from the Twilight Sepulcher... the Skeleton Key.” She says, pulling the chain of the chamber to close it behind you. “By doing this, he's compromised our ties to Nocturnal and in essence, caused our luck to run dry."

You frantically waved your hands, “Slow down, miss. The Skeleton Key? From the Temple? Is that some sort of jewel?” The dunmer shook her head. “It’s Nocturnal’s artifact.” You felt your shoulders squeeze with the breath you took. Daedric artifacts. That’s not to say you were hoping any better from a guy like Mercer Frey.

Swear to Kyne, Brynjolf has the most troubled look from the group. “Looks like Delvin’s blabbering had some sense after all.” “I didn’t imagine this Nocturnal lady had the monopoly over all kinds of luck.” Inigo shrugged. Karliah gave him a half smile, “Trust me, I wish it was so much simpler than that. Then at least we’d get to know a fraction of her motive.”

“Alright, back on it. So the Key unlocks any door?” Brynjolf inquires. “Well, yes. But the Key isn't only restricted to physical barriers. Mercer proved to be more ambitious than that.” She started, “All of us possess untapped abilities; the potential to wield great power, securely sealed within our minds. Once you realize the Key can access these traits, the potential becomes limitless.”

“I take it Lady Luck isn’t handing it over as a token for a champion of her choice.” Inigo gathered. No, the Prince had no fondness for such. It simply is an artifact too powerful and dangerous for mortal hands, as it normally should for unworldly items.

“Good, then you understand why this is about more than just Mercer’s lust for power.” She affirms. “If the Key isn't returned to its lock in the Twilight Sepulcher, things will never be the same for the Guild. As time passed, our luck would diminish to the point of non-existence. And whether you know it or not, our uncanny luck defines our trade.”

Brynjolf brought a fist to his hand, “Then let’s not waste any more time. Mercer took every plan the guild has but the one you and Vex found in his manor hit the prize. He’s going for the Eyes of Falmer. Our earlier searches all led us to Irkngthand—a dwarven ruin in the Pale. Gather your equipment, lass. We’ll meet you there.” Says your mentor, handing you a piece of parchment with a drawn map and notes of its landmarks.

Of course. It’s not that Mercer’s a poor leader that the guild’s in shambles. He’s much more cunning and deceitful in the few moments you studied under him. This was always more than one man’s greed. A Daedric Prince’s artifact—the gall of that scoundrel. That’s how he opened the Guild vault with ease. The puzzle lock at Snowveil Sanctum, he did it right in front of you and you never suspected a thing!

* * *

** _Present time..._ **

By the morning, you lied there on furs, thinking how you almost let it slip to Kaidan that this whole thing is caused by Daedric involvement. The two of you had experiences with Daedra but at this point, there was no returning from the oath you took to bind your soul or whatever with Nocturnal. Just that, when he approached you, a sudden dread clutched on your stomach.

As twisted as it is, you felt afraid of what he would think of you—what the rest would think, save for Inigo. Marie might understand, though it’ll be hard to keep a neutral stance given her job. You peek outside, sliding your fingers ever so softly on the thin leather that’s keeping your privacy; searching impatiently until it falls on Kaidan’s tent.

“_ Erm.. _”

... still you couldn’t bring yourself to speak of it. Especially not after that comforting moment with him yesterday. You sat back on your bed, palms sliding up your cheeks to trace the way he held you. Memories of his warmth raced back as you recreate the scene in your head.

In the dark corners, he held you tenderly. Close and gentle in every way that is just so like him. Your knees hurt, it’s probably bruising at this very moment you breathe. Rough concrete against bare skin yet the one suffering searing pain here is your throat. His eyes gleamed under the moonlight, still alive, still there but also not quite. Trivial thoughts like ‘Does his back hurt seated against the side of the building’ or ‘Is he parched’ cycle your mind. It’s as if half your consciousness is desperately keeping you from recognizing the blood rapidly leaving his body. You’ve done all you can and it’s not sufficient.

_ “Marco. Hold on a little more.. Just a little more.” _

Cracks at almost every syllable like the thunderous heavens, paired with failed pronunciations from your previous bawling. But he understood even without words. Most of all, Marco always understood your heart. You fought bravely and intensely—the _ actual _ first life or death situation you got in, and screaming with so much hate you might as well have permanently damaged your voice.

Kaidan’s hands were so much more calloused and heavier but he was careful. His touch was foreign but igniting, agitating, stirring emotions and memories you worked hard to forget. Alas, there are just those that won’t leave you no matter your efforts. It hurt to be held like that and at the same time, you still allowed it. _ Yearned it. Wanted it. _ Childishly scraping whatever memory of _ him _you can get from anything and anyone.

_ “Rozenn, I can’t be of help.. When the time comes..” _

_ “Just stop.. Stop. Look at me. You’ll get better-.. Don’t give up. Please, please...” _

Blood and dirt coated your hands, shivering, shuddering, and you’re losing focus who’s trembling more. The linen you tied isn’t slowing it enough. Your parents won’t be here in time. You wanted to tell him not to be afraid but he’s not. He’s just sorry. And the worst thing is he shouldn’t even be. You’re the stronger one, you should be the one who—

Fingers light as feather brushes your tears away, cradling your hair and pulling you in with as little energy inside him and your heart races with fear. He brings his forehead to yours, chest hitching and voice hushed, whispering weakly with the few breaths he’s left with.

_ “You’ll never be alone...” _

You squeezed your eyes shut, the _ pitter patter _of rain beginning to drop heavier, drowning everything else. Everything but his fading voice.

_ “Don’t forget.. I’ll always.... Always...” _

“You alright?”

Shoulders jolted up, you twist aside to catch Kaidan’s puzzled expression before it vanishes. He’s donned his armor already, hair tied to its usual messy half bun. Wait, did he cut it? Oh, you did hear a passing phrase or three about how he’s finding it inconvenient as of late.

“Oi. Got your head on the clouds again? I’ve seen that look enough.” He snaps his fingers at you, “Your face’s buried on your hands. Does it hurt?” it sounded casual but there’s an underlying hint of concern in the way his brows slightly furrowed. You shook your head and began equipping your leather boots. “Then grab something to eat. We gotta get moving.” He nodded, leaving you to prepare.

“Kaidan, wait.” The flap was already laid down but he’s still standing outside. An awkward pause ensued, not really knowing if he was going to say something even if you were the one who called him.

“Thank you.”

His silhouette gestured unsurely, ultimately bringing a hand to scratch his head.

“....Yeah. Anytime.”

* * *

** _Few days later, Eastmarch Outskirts..._ **

The path heading Windhelm turned out to be too dangerous for travellers and adventurers as of the moment. The Civil War has been demanding, the Imperial forces even more; pushing in as far as Vernim Wood territory. Couldn’t blame them. Of course the Empire wants the head of this rebellion’s leader.

With whatever you can recall and read on notice boards, Torygg was a man of peace. Or at least he appeared to be. It didn’t mean he was a good leader but his death is what led this country to go downhill. Ulfric challenged him and as custom dictates, he either refuses and give up the crown or accept the call and battle the traditional way. Then he died. _ Such is the way of Nords. _ That’s the biggest horse shit of a reason to back this event up. The Civil War only brought the Dominion a _ lot _closer to assuming more control over Skyrim.

They could have kept quiet, feign obedience, and—oh this is pointless. The High King is dead. Unlike the system you’ve witnessed in High Rock, Nords aren’t really much for plotting and deceptions. It’s all about honor and god damned glory. Even if this reaches its end, you doubt there’ll be actual winners.

“Kaidan is impossible to talk sense to!” Lucien stomped over the campfire near you and sat down by the log. He and Kaidan had gotten into an argument regarding the current political climate and it predictably went sour from there.

Kaidan is consistently neutral regarding the topic. He sees both flaws and benefits of both sides, and that’s already something, given that he was raised in nord customs. So of course when the scholar voiced out his opinions with heavy bias for the Empire authority, Kaidan made sure to remind him that the side Lucien’s passionately defending isn’t as perfect as the blond man’s idea of it. Otherwise, there won’t be any bloody civil war tearing this land apart.

“My parents will never turn a blind eye for racism like what we see here. I understand that the Aldmeri Dominion may not be our friends. The Empire is only doing its best to keep the nations undivided. That is truly the only thing I meant when I said the uprising was unnecessary.” Lucien rambled about his case rather heftily. Luckily, the big guy is out hunting with Inigo for today or there’ll be more mindless bickering.

“And the swordsman told you that Nords won’t think the same while their god-hero is suddenly written out of existence.” Auri chuckled from her spot. “They bled for the Empire as well. What do they get as a result? Talos worship banned, foreign _ and _unwelcome authority takes over half their country, all this while the Empire keeps its power. I don’t agree with the rebellion, but one could see it coming miles away with this kind of setup.” Much to everyone’s surprise, the wood elf actually has something to say about the civil war. 

Oh, you’re willing to bet everyone has opinions. Whether they care enough to share it is another matter.

“I-I can see that.. It’s just—there are other ways..”

“Lucien, we know.” You finally spoke, “Nords. Patience. They don’t really go together. I’m with Auri in this. With the way things have been set, even if it wasn’t that Stormcloak guy on command, a rebellion’s bound to happen.” An empty silence befell your campfire. But this was perfect. With your hand blindly searching behind the log, your lips quirk into a smile as you toss Lucien a sword—which nearly slipped his grasps.

“Y’know let’s make use of that agitated mood of yours.” You winked, placing down your emptied bowl.

Lucien looks at the sword like it’s going to be used to behead him and let out a little whine. “Oh dear... You’re going to make me exercise aren’t you..?”

Yeah. It may not always be holding hands and walking into sunsets, but that’s where you can tell everyone is being honest at best.

* * *

Crashing into a perfectly warm bath was absolute bliss after a rigorous training. Arriving in Nightgate inn a few days after is a welcomed change of pace. Sure the weather’s harsh again, but it’s better finding a place with a roof than camping under the snow. Lucien? He crashed as well, maybe straight to bed the moment their rented room’s lock clicked open. Hopefully, the sessions help clear his head.

“You’re oddly strict with his training ever since we left Riften.” Auri mentions, sinking on her own tub next to yours.

“Someone has to, right? We know people are after us. Mercer, too. I just want him ready. Just in case.”

Though the scholar insisted on going with you to this _ Irkngthand _ place, you managed to talk him down in waiting and standing watch outside with the others. Not as if the others didn’t object—in fact, compared to the rest, Lucien's reaction against your plan was pretty tame. Frey once tricked the Thalmor into raiding the _ whole _Thieves Guild, the bastard can surely send more scums when your paths meet. No doubt, he’s waiting for you there.

“Do you really have to do this alone?” Auri’s concerned words broke the shared silence.

“No. But we can’t defend each other together this time.”

“Then don’t die in there. I’ll...” The crack in her voice didn’t go unnoticed. It’s... strangely comforting to hear someone worry this much aside from Marie. Heart-breaking at the same time. “Just come out alive, alright?” She swallowed. “Don’t give Mercer that pleasure.”

You leaned on towards her tub, “Auri... For what it’s worth, thank you for trusting me and Karliah even if this was all too sudden.” A charming smile graces her adorable face, sharpened teeth peeking just a bit when she answered back. “Hey, I quite like Karliah. She’s a clever one, something I really appreciate in a fellow elf.”

“Oh ho? What about Rumarin? He’s pretty clever, too.” Of course it was in jest, yet he’s still alive up till this moment. The altmer must be doing something right after all. The two of you enjoyed the rest of the hour exchanging humorous opinions about your journey and travelling companions.

Auri wasn’t one for long speeches. She’ll say what’s on her mind when she deems it necessary. Whatever it is, you know her emotions at the time are true. So hearing her being _ that _ anxious gives you a surprising amount of drive to survive. _ ‘I... Crap. This is what Kaidan’s going on about before, eh?’ _

It used to be just you looking out for yourself, for your friends, never really considering that they might feel the same whenever you’re the one in danger. It was selfish in some light and now you’re being confronted by the others, you know more than ever that it was true. If only Kaidan could witness this trail of thoughts, he'd surely get that smug grin upon knowing how right he was.

Kaidan.

Why the hell have you been thinking about him that much lately? He’s done nothing out of the ordinary...

_ Oh shit. _

* * *

“Nightgate inn. It’s nice to be around again. I remember we had separate tables back then.” Inigo cheerfully waves his flagon. “Now we share one.”

“As well as the drinks.” Kaidan smirks.

“I hope we share the bill as well. I’m kind of low on septims.” The khajiit added.

“Ahem—then maybe you shouldn’t have spent all of it on wine?” Several shades of snark piled up in a certain altmer’s tone, sitting a table away from them. “I don’t even know why you won’t let me join there. It’s not like your drinks take a lot of space!” Rumarin says, bitterly stabbing the roasted chicken while the two send him mocking grins. “Pah! Buzz off, altmer. No way your set of meal’s going to fit in here.” Kaidan sniggers and shooing the bladebinder. “I am an adventurer in need of a balanced diet! We ate nothing but jerky, berries, and fish on the way here. _ Ugh _, nevermind. I hate you. You’re mean.” Rumarin pouts like a prepubescent teen upon seeing his companions laugh at his defenses.

_ “Was that a cry for help from our bladebinder?” _

Looking across the room, their lady friend approaches with more wine and a basket of cheese and pastries. Wow, what is happening? “Please don’t give me that look, you guys. I did my best to get the sweetest deal that didn’t obliterate my coin purse, thank you very much.” She giggled, settling down beside Rumarin who seemed to have instantly brightened up from receiving back up.

This is very nice. Inigo looks back to the first time he and Kaidan visited this inn; his best friend was sick and they set out on a rush to find the caravans, hoping they would have a cure. They barely liked each other back then—Kaidan was so much more hostile against strangers and Inigo thought himself hopeless for having been given a second chance only to possibly fail another time.

Then Rumarin—he knew this one didn’t give off the same scent as the usual altmer mage but even so, he didn’t imagine he’d become someone he’ll view as a brother in arms. True, the bladebinder has a funny way of being clumsy and still hit a mark but he’d trust his tail with Rumarin anytime. Now here they are, supporting each other, fighting side by side against cultists, moronic bandits, thalmor, and weird entities alike. They have a funny definition of ‘adventure’. Hopefully, Lucien is getting the most out of this.

Bringing their tables closer after a few bottles in and his mind wandered to the time where that kind and cheerful young lady helped them. _ “Vilja” _ if his memory serves him right. How is she doing now? But it matters little; she should be okay, being that she got out of there alive first, right? Still, a part of him wished they had a chance to thank her. Candle would have liked it if they had at least met each other.

“...and all those injuries aside, it’s good to see you on your feet. For a second there, I thought I was going to have to avenge you. But now you can avenge yourself. With my help.” Rumarin wise-cracked his way into conversations most of the time but that’s nothing new. He says it’s obviously to make up for his poor communication skills. Hours flew by just talking about how they all went from strangers to companions and where their adventures have taken them so far.

“Our brooding, battering ram of a friend here used to be so aggressive towards strangers. I can still recall how hard he hit me before. I’m just glad he didn’t lash out against Karliah when he knew of her.” Inigo said, involuntarily caressing the area where Kaidan punched him before.

“Well. I think we can trust Karliah, I mean look at this now,” Kaidan’s eyes followed the swirling of his mead, “if she wanted us dead, she could have done it. And she won’t have to lure us out in the open for it.”

“I still don’t get how Brynjolf and Delvin never noticed Mercer stealing things. Shouldn’t they be checking the vault every now and then?” Rumarin slurred, although he was always poking at real questions when inebriated. Candle simply laughs, “That’s_ their _problem. Oh wait, now I’m dragged in because of it. Bloody oblivion.” She clicks her tongue, snickering but obviously frustrated. “This is madness. But since Mercer had been getting away with it, he must be doing something crafty. Especially with an artifact in his possession.”

“Oh but I still do wonder about that note you snagged from the guy’s basement!” The altmer cheered, pertaining to the piece of transaction Candle stumbled on when Vex and her were searching the place. “Obviously, ‘M’ stands for Mercer. I’m kinda curious who ‘R’ is. Do we know anyone whose first name starts with—erm.. _ Oh _.” And a round of laughter erupted in their tables. It’s like they have no worries at all. How long has it been since they last bonded like this? They should do this more often. 

“If anything is weird, it’s that we’re celebrating _ before _and not after ensuring that bastard is dead. Well. Sort of.” Kaidan noted as he sipped. Shame that Lucien and Auri decided not to join in, but there will be more of this in the future. “But I don’t oppose it. I.. I’m glad to have met you all.” Right then, it appears as if his words snatched everyone of their voices. Even he was a bit surprised by the words that came outta his mouth.

“I can hardly believe it. I must be drunk? This brute is actually getting mushy on us?” Rumarin half choked on his laugh before getting stabbed with the swordsman’s glare. “Hey now, just when I thought you’re softening up.”

“It is true. I feel the same. I’m thankful my friend gave me a second chance,” Inigo intervened. “it led to meeting you people. There’s no other group I’d rather get in trouble with.” The blue cat cheers, raising a toast.

Kaidan sent a fleeting glance to the woman. Underneath her tender smile were waves of anxiousness. He’d seen it enough from his mentor to recognize it from others. The raven haired man joins the toast, picking up a bottle and excusing himself from the group. “I should head back. Got a lot of traveling to prepare for. Thanks, by the way.” He shot his employer a tight smile and waved them off.

Been ages since he last let his guard down like this. Taking a break from the world had always been a luxury for him. If he found a tavern with a reasonable price for a hot meal, he’d considered it his lucky day already. It used to be a quiet life. He never had any need for companions or partners.

Now he looks back on it and finds a lonesome wolf instead. Always thinking about how to get by each day, never resting or stepping back from his search. He has to dedicate himself in this self made quest for it was the only thing he can walk towards after Brynjar and after the Blooded Dawn. A desperate attempt to bring purpose in his life; to know that he’s drawing breath for a reason.

Just before he closes his door, he heard a small thud against the other side.

“Kaidan, a moment?”

It was her. What, why did she follow him? He peeks through the slight opening and felt her hand apply a bit more pressure on the wood separating them. “Aye?”

“W-? Don’t ‘aye’ me. Let me in or step out, I... _ er _..” Alcohol infused vexation flickered on her expression as she fiddled with her thumbs and drew out a quick breath. “I-I just wanted to talk. I mean, I have something to say.. uh. Do you wish to continue? I probably have more ways to mess this up or will you just come with me?” She said, finally giving up.

“A-alright.. No need to torture yourself.” Kaidan agreed, stifling his laughter and letting her lead the way. As it turned out, she led them to the upper floor, specifically _ inside her room— _

“Wait. Why are we here?” Not that he’s suspicious but walls around here have eyes or was it ears? Sometimes it has mouths of its own, too. Just the two of them standing in front of her door will surely raise some questions from their circle of friends.

Candle placed a finger on her lip, telling him to quiet down. After entering her room, she unbuckled her vest. This is turning out to be better and worse and confusing at alarming rates. “Good lord, Kai are you alright?” She asked, walking to a cabinet near her bed. Is it warm in here—wait he’s not blushing now of all times, is he?! Damn liquor! He must have had the stupidest expression right now. “You have the stupidest expression right now. You should see a mirror, friend.” She laughed, reaching inside the furniture. Candle stood there for a few agonizing seconds without explaining a thing to the swordsman, until she grabbed a thick winter cloak and threw it at him.

“And this is...?”

“Kai. It’s freezing outside. Wear it.” She said, already throwing a weathered looking one around her. So that’s why she’s undressing the armor.

“Outside?” He blinked. Dumbfounded, he followed the direction she’s pointing and recognized there’s a door just past left of the room, easily hidden by the cabinet standing beside it. He forgot her room had a balcony; not that it was normally used. Patrons who rent bunkhouses and inns within these regions tend to stay indoors as much as they can.

She wasn’t kidding when she said it was freezing. The cold gust gave him slight shivers which she immediately noticed and countered with a warming spell for both of them. “Should work for a few minutes.” She smiled. “It doesn’t take that long to appreciate the northern night sky.” They looked up, silently basking in the glimmer of stars and dancing auroras. It wasn’t the first time but such a sight can never get too old for neither of them. “Never seen skies like that.. Anywhere else in Tamriel.” He muttered, leaning on the rail.

“Dragon language.”

He tore his gaze from the twinkling heavens and looked at her instead. Is she drunk?

“Uhh.. What?”

She blinked. Unfazed and yet inspired. The shimmer of sky reflecting in her eyes. “The runes on your mother’s sword. It’s written in Dragon Language.”

“What? How did you know? Are you sure?”

The woman bit her lip, obviously amused from his excitement. “I recognize it. I’m not sure why but I suppose we can take a look on that lead.” “Hm. If it is..” He cupped his chin, pondering on the possibilities. “Strange, that they would write in Dragon, and not Akaviri. If you remember this, I don’t suppose you could translate it now?”

“I’d make a living out of it if I can.” She remarked playfully. “I don’t even know why people would even use the language of a species long gone. Akaviri would make sense, I mean if you’re that confident in your hunch that she and your guardian were former Blades agents.”

“Aye. We agree on that account. I appreciate the help, but we’ve got more important things to do now. Say, I’ve heard about a rare book written in the subject before. _ “Dragon Language: Myth No More.” _There might be others on the subject we can look out for.”

“A book? We can try asking Lucien or if he can pull a few strings.” She fought every urge to bark out a laugh when Kaidan’s face soured, “...or I can ask our fences in Solitude and Winterhold. Geez.” It’s always useful to have friends in low places. Silly as she is, he can’t say he’s not happy with this news. “I’m sorry.” Suddenly, the girl’s smile fades. “I’ve known about it for a while. I had a plan. But then things just spiralled out.” She said, looking distantly towards lake Yorgrim. “I kind of feel guilty.”

“For what?”

“Perhaps I should have told you the moment I knew. At least you’d be out there progressing with the search while I dealt with Mercer. Now you’re in this, too. Everyone is.” He almost missed the look of forlorn that flashed across her face and if he wasn’t carefully examining her, he’d also miss her other hand snaking under the cloak to the side she got stabbed in.

“Bah..! You know what I think if it went down like that? I’d be furiously searching for you just so I can give your anxious little head a smack.” He scolded her.

“You are such a violent person. But I’d probably deserve it.”

“And you’re both smart and idiotic, it’s impossible to tell which side of your brain is working when you make decisions.” He retorted, earning a heartfelt laugh from her. She took that as a compliment, didn’t she? What a weird person. But all things considered, he suppose he’s met weirder—_ ahem. _ Not explicitly saying it’s _ Rumarin _but, aye. That works, too. “You keep surprising me. I know you didn’t have to but you’re helping me out anyway.”

She shifts aside, propping on her elbow to face him, “Nah. I might not get the chance to if this mission turns south. And I just wanted to bring you the news before the day ends.” As if reading him like an open book, _ which he may very well have been with his raised brow, _Candle gives him a puzzled look. “I-..well, you know, because..” the nonchalant woman suddenly shrinks inside her coat like a turtle getting poked, “I’m.. I’m bad at remembering things. I didn’t get you anything for your birthday because I honestly forgot..!”

“What?” He began stepping towards her and she backed away, stammering, flustering, losing confidence “I-I thought I’ll just try to at least make up for it with good news and-.. and a bunch of food, I don’t know, it’s embarrassing—”

Her words stopped when he squeezed her face between his hands. “You did this for my birthday? You absolute moron.” That’s what he says, but the smug won’t come off his face. He can’t help it, this was just so entertaining to discover. Letting go of her, he pulls her in a quick embrace and ruffles her hair like a child. “Gods, you’re easily the silliest adventurer I’ve ever met. Haha! Look at your face—_ agh, alright. _Alright. No punching.” He sniggered.

“Wouldn’t have to if you weren’t suffocating me. _ Uff... _I guess I was fretting over nothing.” She smoothed her locks, ushering them back inside the building. They chuckled, sneaking like little kids not wanting to get caught in a game of hide and seek, and dusting the bit of snow that gathered in the fur coats before he walked over to her door.

“That was... nice.” He spoke in a low voice, careful not to wake anyone up. “Thank you.” To his surprise, his employer tiptoed to him, reached up and gave him a quick, light peck on the cheek—too fast, to be honest; he wouldn’t even have been sure if he didn’t see her closing in to his face just a second ago.

“Uh-uh. Thank _ you. _I’m glad we were in the same prison that day.”

Speechless, he could only hold his breath until he was out of her doorstep and heard it closed behind him. Was that... What did—argh! Kaidan scratched the back of his ear in annoyance. He doesn’t know if it was some kind of Breton gesture or if that meant something else to her. She’s touchy as far as he’s informed but never did he hear from anyone whether she goes to lengths _ like that _in showing her friendliness. Somehow, he hates the thought of it.

Taking a turn down the stairs, his blood went cold upon meeting two pairs of judging eyes. Inigo and Rumarin were both propped up in front of their respective rooms, which happened to be just below Candle’s.

“Heeheehe, that was _ nice, _don’t you think so, my not so magical mage elf friend?”

“We’re talking about ‘nice’? Oh, I’ll bet it’s nice, alright. Look at him, Inigo, the man’s practically glowing.” Rumarin smirked. These shameless idiots aren’t even trying to cover up their laughs.

Kaidan knew right away that he’ll never hear the end of it come morning. Trudging in defeat to his room, he gave the pestering duo nothing but a disgusted noise as a response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could barely access social media apps lately which is sad. Work is demanding but my meme thirst is much more intolerable :((
> 
> Argh it's frustrating how many drawings and chapters I wanna finish but I only have a few hours each day to work on one of it XD. Still, it's fun, relaxing sometimes. I hope everyone is doing healthy and mighty fine as well? Q w Q Pls, stay healthyyy!


	51. Blindsighted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following pursuit of the traitor Mercer Frey, they finally arrive at the Dwarven location. Come see what Inigo and his best friend will find in such a joyous haven like Irkngthand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it bois, im forgetting what is words and how to language agshsjdh and how to navigate AO3 *insert incoherent laughing*

**050**

**Blindsighted**

“Remember when we first met? There were skeletons there, too. This is kind of like that time, only now my toes are frozen.” Rumarin lets out a shivering breath through his teeth. His bound bow vanishes into non existence, looking over and confirming their triumph against the pile of bones quickly getting buried in the snow storm. Irkngthand was a day away across the frozen lake. Who would have known there will be necromancers lurking around the snowy plains. 

“Do necromancers really just stroll out here so casually? In the middle of blizzards?” Lucien’s exhausted voice perseveres through the howling wind. 

“Uh you were at the Fire Festival if my brain is still trustworthy enough. I’m sure walking bones and such won’t surprise you compared to this.” The elf quipped with a shudder.

“That doesn’t mean I should find wandering witches and cultists normal!”

“Forces are focused on the civil war. Nobody seems to give a damn that outlaws are settling in left and right because of their neglect.” You echoed back then shot them a quick glance to see if anyone’s falling behind. The strong gust makes it hard to see even if it’s just past afternoon. Where’s Marie when you need her skills the most—she’s the one good at alteration magic.

Hope has yet to be vanquished of course. Once your group reached the side of an uneven terrain, Kaidan finally found a path. Following it blindly didn’t seem smart, except that heading to where it leads, the winds appeared to have slightly shifted and the sound indicates that a higher ground or perhaps a _ building _is up ahead. 

Little by little, a giant fortress fades into view. Stones, metals, ruins of ancient and very much foreign architecture. Well. Not foreign. _ Dwarven. _Same structural design and stonework back in Markarth, it truly was a sight to behold... and be wary of. Lucien has been chattering nonstop how Dwemer facilities and civilization are built underground, if this one is such, then you’ll be pressing deeper under the earth. It’s as unnerving as it is intriguing. 

“Look at those machines... Incredible..” Admiring the towering stones and active engines outside its walls, Kaidan didn’t notice how the words must have slipped him. On the other hand, Lucien has barely paused to take a breath once his mouth started running trivias and records regarding the astounding location. 

_ Thwip _

You slowed down on your tracks. Something just sliced through the wind. What in Nirn was that noise—“Ah-!?” you exclaimed, tripping on something thin and... “_ Gasp! _ Take cover, all of you!” Scrambling at your words, those at the back dragged the mounts just before they left the safety of their cover. While Inigo stepped up and raised his shield, Kaidan can be seen on your peripheral _ shoving _Lucien behind him while they run across for the nearest wall. 

“I thought your fellow _ birds _were here already?” Inigo yelped from their end, just barely deflecting the next bolt before jumping behind an elevated rock. 

“They are—must be survivors. That or they snuck in!” You seethed, easily turning the elements around you in an icy barrier. You let it draw attention so you can sneak away. _ One. _ _ Three. Four bolts struck the ice. _That’s not a lot of rangers and you have yet to see how many are warriors. Stupid. You feel stupid from overlooking such a predictable situation. Although these stonewalls hide you now, whoever’s inhabited here knows it better and will eventually find y— 

_ “Shoot it! Kill the beast damn it, DAMN IT AGH!!” _

Beast? Did those idiots made a frontal attack?? 

Tightening the straps of your backpack, you peek, hand firmly holding your fur hood in place. The sounds came from below; a lower ground. You crawled out, hoping the snow is thick enough to hide you, and squinted until you were near enough to make out what the hell was happening. There’s a huge staircase leading down to an enclosed space—that’s where the people are camping judging by the huge fire and tents propped up. Your eyes darted all over, searching any signs of your companions but what caught your attention was the hungry growl of two sabrecats. White beasts prowling and pouncing on their bandit preys out of nowhere. 

You planted yourself to observe, until a pair of hands grabbed you by the leg. You thrashed and almost yelled if not for Kaidan’s hand quickly pressing on your mouth. His crimson eyes intensely holding you, reeling your focus in until you gathered your breath. A quick relieved snort erased the tension in his face, grabbing hold of your arm until you reached the tower again. 

“Candle. You’re safe, thank goodness.” Lucien whispered upon your arrival. “I’ve spotted where the entrance is. Up there.” He points carefully at the makeshift platforms built by the wild bandits leading to a higher building. The storm’s covering it but it does look like a door. “We have to be really careful. Inigo already knows, they’re on the other tower. Look.” Lucien then points to the opposite side of your tower. Inigo waves at you but made no move, instead he seems to be insisting to stay in place and offer cover while you make for it. “Well? You two go on ahead. We’ll cover you.” Kaidan nods. “What? This is no time to play hero. You can’t stay here alone.” Lucien berates the swordsman, much to his ire. “I _ know _ what I’m saying. Go. We’ll follow _ after _it’s safe enough. The three of us moving together will get us caught faster. You’re both light framed—once you two get there, we can secure the place in safer platforms.” At this, Lucien frowned but didn’t argue. It almost made you smile somehow. They still haven’t made up but they’re learning to set aside differences better and better each trial. 

Soon enough, you lead Lucien as carefully and quietly through the scaffoldings and rooftops, hearing very little struggle from the others but no doubt they haven’t noticed you yet. You climbed your way up until both your knees hit the hard stone floor in front of the building entrance. With luck, this ridiculous door leads to the right place. “My lungs are frozen for god’s sake.” You spat, helping Lucien up, “Hey, let me see if you’ve been practicing. Give the warmth spell a try.” You laid out your palms. The scholar gave you a nervous look but conceded. 

“Now’s a better time as any, I suppose.” After he placed his hands on yours, Lucien took a deep breath and closed his eyes; a surge of faint bluish light crawled from his skin to yours until you could feel your fingertips again. The spell doesn’t actually repel the cold, it just tricks the mind. Too much exposure can still cause frostbite even if one is feeling _ “warm”. _

“Good! Now you won’t freeze off that easily. Thank you, my friend. I think we can find another spell for you to hone.” You playfully patted his hands. Once the team finished securing the place, they went up to follow you. 

“We’ve camped below and... Well Auri’s taken care of the bodies. The mounts should be alright for a while down there.” Reported the swordsman. 

“And the sabrecats?”

“My doing. Sorry but I had to improvise.” Auri apologizes with a raised hand. “Much appreciated. You’re doing fine, yes?” you asked and the bosmer nodded. The thing about these _ talents _ of theirs is that no matter how useful it is, they rarely use it. _ Respect the hunt _ —or so how Auri worded it. _ ‘There’s a unique beauty in seeing nature from their perspective, I suppose.’_

The six of you tread carefully deeper into the rooms. It was luck that the path appeared pretty straightforward, what with the other turns buried in ancient rubbles. Not so pretty when the smell of corpses became apparent. “Ugh. More dead bandits. Good to know we can at least watch them rot to pass the time.” The high elf announced in disgust while covering his nose. The blood’s fresh and their things are still functional. Pitching in a considerable amount of effort, you successfully hauled aside the corpses using magic and now with everyone’s attention in the right place, it was time to have one final talk. 

“I... As we already agreed on. Please be very cautious while I’m in there. We don’t know who or what could be lurking in a place like this.” Repeated words of caution couldn’t echo the dread swirling in your guts right now. You wished it wasn’t so terrifying so you can assure them. But looking at their faces right now... 

“You’re sure you don’t want to take anyone else aside from Inigo?” Auri sent you a worried look. Even Kaidan and Lucien are sharing a frown at the call. 

No. This _ is _making you nervous, but you’ll assure them. “We’re getting out.” You steeled yourself and nodded at Inigo who flashed you a confident grin. “Alive.” 

They have to see your resolve, even if just a false one. Lucien’s sigh bounced off the empty hall, then he started searching his backpack for something. “Since there’s no talking you out of this. Here. I was saving it.” He shows you a crystal necklace. Enchantment? “An amulet of waterbreathing. It’s one of the things my father gave me that I refused to trade. The enchantment will last long and is situated for emergencies—dwemer ruins run very deep after all. I hope that... none of you will have to use it.” He finishes and carefully placed it around your neck. 

“Be safe.” Kaidan pats Inigo, sending you a particular look as if to tell that he meant those words to apply _ more _for you. The goodbyes were quick. No speeches or long thoughtful reminders exchanged; nobody wanted to or maybe they couldn’t bring themselves to. The only thing you knew was that something inside you shut down the moment those heavy doors banged close behind you. 

Silently wish as they did, you did not look back.

* * *

You groaned, pulling your leg with great effort under a fallen _ mechanical creature. _“What the hell. They’re alive? Those we saw in Markarth weren’t.” “That’s because they were displays, my friend. This one’s alive. Many are inside their homes.” Inigo whispers as he aids you. He said there’ll be enemies yet the amount of surprise it shot through your core is still evident when a metal sphere suddenly emerged from somewhere inside the walls. Thankfully, it was easy enough to deal with in close range. 

“This one won’t be a problem.”

“You tell me. You’re the one who dealt the finishing blow.” You huffed, giving the dwarven sphere a few taps and sighing in relief when it didn’t respond. A single snap released enough magic to fix your bruises; the chips on your blades however, can only be repaired by a blacksmith. Is it luck that both of you have items made of fine ebony? You owe Nocturnal a thanks if it is. “Stuff’s too heavy, though. I can’t keep them immobilized if they rush in groups. And the blades can only endure so much.” 

Inigo nods, taking a defensive posture again. “Agreed. Let’s push on. Quietly.”

“Anything else you might advise me? I haven’t ventured in one of these before. Traps we can easily avoid, but if that wall starts spitting automatons at me, I’m gonna lose it.” 

“Er.. I don’t know. Pick up any valuable items you see? The first time I was in a place like this, I could hardly walk out, I was carrying so much loot.” 

“Well then. Let’s hope the Eyes of Falmer can be fancy enough.” 

A few more hallways deep and two other thieves showed up, much to your comfort. Thought you’d never get to cross paths or worse, it’ll be Mercer who meets with you first. 

“Mercer’s been here... I hope we’re not too late.” Karliah’s worry is clear as day even with the mask covering nearly every part of her face. The area you behold seems to be an actual dwelling; dotted with glowing mushrooms, dusty, and no short of accident prone structures, yet as far as ancient goes, this one is not abandoned. Definitely not a cave with the size larger than a jarl’s palace. Did the dwemer hated sunlight so much? 

“An odd way to greet us, sure. But those bandits there...?” “We found them like that.” Ah, yes. Mercer’s doing. He’s making it painfully obvious that he knows they’re here. And if he knows, then he definitely has a trap planned for them. “What kind of trap do you think he’s laid ahead?” 

Brynjolf grimaces, “Just watch yourself in there, lass. We’ve come this far and we suffered enough losses from that bastard.” 

“Hush. Both of you, look! There he is.” Karliah sharply whispered, crouching near towards the tall barriers that separates them from the area below. The place was only far enough to mask their idle whispers and for once, you felt your eyes go wide at the sight of a pale creature. _ ‘So that’s what a Falmer looks like! Blind but makes up for their keen senses. How do they survive here...’ _ Given it’s already evening, the only source of light were the tiny bonfires placed near their huts. And it was hard to tell but a silhouette moved differently from the others. There he is. Mercer stepped softly like it was _ his _garden until his blade reached the unknowing falmer’s throat. 

Inigo and Brynjolf were quick to draw their bows, but to no avail. “I can’t get a clear shot.” Your mentor gritted. “What is he doing down there?” 

The falmers in the area searched relentlessly while Mercer stepped with ease. He’s toying with them. He knows he has audience and he’s mocking you. “Damn it. Come on. We’ll find our way to the Eyes.” The dunmer beckons. “If he’s going to be anywhere, it’s there.” 

“Is there a faster way there, because I don’t think I’m in the mood for dancing with more automatons.” You sighed dejectedly. Not to mention, Falmers are said to keep venomous insects as pets. That is not something to look forward to. 

* * *

“It’s awfully quiet.” Auri murmurs while sharpening her bone dagger. “Maybe they just don’t want to talk to each other.” Rumarin echoes, letting the other two hear it clearly. Lucien glanced at them, and onto Kaidan who’s still as a rock in front of the door, then shook his head at them once more. 

“Come on now, they’re not children. They’re over that. Just without the formalities.” “I hope you guys know we’re still here.” Lucien pouted at his gossiping friends, walking over to the small fire they built and poured himself a cup of tea. “Just leave him be for now. Everyone has a way of being worried—” 

“Lucien.” The trio jerked their heads toward the swordsman. The call was stern but lacked hostility. “...Yes, boss?” Kaidan didn’t seem very amused with it but he kept a straight face. “That device you gave her. She’ll ring it if she gets in trouble, aye?” he asked, receiving a nod. “It’s been more than an hour already. Why hasn’t she...? Tsk.” Kaidan sent the door another glare. 

“Why are you expecting something to happen in the first place?” Auri scoffed. “Because things are going too smoothly. They’re hunting down a lunatic with a daedric artifact, in the bottom of an abandoned high-risk dwemer ruin, and nothing is happening.” 

One would think that they’re silent because he snapped but the next moment Lucien’s mouth opened, he knew the topic would just stretch on for Divines-know-how-long. 

“What? Artifact of a Daedric prince? How??”

“Hold on, you knew?”

“Why d’you sound confused, Rumarin? Were you that piss drunk that night, you don’t remember the two of you mentioning it like it’s nothing?” he retorts. 

Rumarin pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s right. They did mention it while drinking together. “Aw damn it. She’s gonna kill me...” Kaidan watched the altmer scratch his head sheepishly and let out an annoyed sigh. “That’s right. But I’ll get my answers first why she had to keep it from us.” The high elf shrugged, “Could have just asked her when you were in her room?”

“WHAT! Why??” For odd reasons, Lucien and Auri spoke in so much sync that one would wonder if they rehearsed it. 

Aye. This is it. They’re talking in circles now, damn it. Starting to wonder if it was the wisest choice to bring it up. All Kaidan could do while defending himself was to keep faith that his companions below the ground are doing alright. 

* * *

“Look at the size of this place! Have you seen anything like it, lass?” Brynjolf marvelled at fallen rubbles of what you identified as some kind of tower in its better days. Karliah let herself take a breath and admire the old place. “Can’t say I have. Imagine the riches within these walls.” She says and proceeded to lead the way. 

The Deep Elves did have unique ways of branding and architecture. Lucien must be drooling right now just to get a chance to explore a place like this unhindered. Upon Karliah’s signal, the four of you hid behind walls, held your breaths, let loose a few arrows either on the skull of an enemy or somewhere far to serve as diversion. It went much too swimmingly.

“Stop.” Inigo whispered upon nearing the entrance to your next destination.

“What?"

Loud rumbling echoed and shook the surface above! Without a word, you felt a clawed hand pull at you and briefly saw the other two scram away as dust and stone forced you to close your eyes. It’s insane. One moment you are sneaking your way into another tower and in less than half a minute, you open your eyes and find the place completely collapsed. It’s like waking up in another nightmare. 

You hear Brynjolf yelling for you to get up, and that’s a load of noise he’s making. The falmer. _ They’re coming here. _A burst of adrenaline suddenly keeps you bouncing on your heel, only looking back to see if Inigo’s still there. You barely paid attention where the other Nightingale is leading you or how many arrows have missed your head; all that there is are dust, and it’s filling your lungs, pulse picking up faster and faster, higher, quicker—you’re going to make it! Collective panting filled in the silence in the next hall. Inigo was in a state of indecision whether he was heaving or laughing and so are you. “I can see why Gallus couldn’t infiltrate this place that easily.” 

“By the Eight. The entire tower collapsed on us.” Brynjolf exclaimed. “Mercer... _ huff... _Has to be him...” Karliah panted, hands on her knees. “That path’s blocked now. We have to find another way around.”

“Mercer was able to knock that thing down? Gods...” the nord grimaced. “It’s the key, Brynjolf. In his hands, there’s no telling what he’s capable off.” As soon as everyone caught their breaths, Karliah skimmed over the map. 

Limitless potential. You’ve been pondering for a while now how far that applies to. Maybe.. Just maybe. No. This is not the time to contemplate such possibilities. Focus.

“By the gods, look at that monstrosity.” Not a few minutes later, your mentor suddenly became petrified and you stood beside him to get a look at— 

“If that thing so much as moves, I’m going to cry.” It wasn’t a complaint, you wish it were—alas, it is a statement. Unbelieving eyes studied how _ stupidly _huge the Centurion is. Oh yes, Lucien mentioned them. Dwemer Centurions; they function like automatons, with the exception of its mammoth-like size and the ability to emit steam hot enough to burn layers of your skin upon exposure. You suppose it was a lot easier to be amazed by them when they don’t pose a threat to your arse. 

“Watch for its loot. They usually carry quality arrows we can use.” Inigo whispered. “Arkay’s breath, I admire the enthusiasm. Wish I had some.” While left clueless of what to do with the sleeping machine, you noticed Karliah drawing out an arrow. Divines! If she wakes that thing up, it doesn’t matter how well shadows will preserve her, no way the lot of you can handle that thing head-on. And you absolutely will not risk blowing the whole damn place just to knock that machine down. 

Karliah.

Karliah? Oh dear, she’s not listening.

Oh—there goes her arrow hitting the Centurion’s head.

* * *

“Did you hear that?” Kaidan hissed the very moment the echoes underground reached them. Dust flew all over as soon as their tower shook and each displayed a bit of panic. Auri suggested going back out to check on their mounts. Not even Lucien was able to stop her when it came to securing her skittish Thistlefoot. 

“We should follow her.” cried the Imperial. Kaidan doesn’t really have a choice when the scholar is begging them with eyes like that. He’s not used to ruins like this, much less have a map of the place that will allow him to follow Candle and Inigo. With clenched jaws, he breathed out one exasperated “Fine” and abandoned their post to brave the storm outside. 

* * *

In and out, the air never seemed to stay for more than a second in your lungs as you sprint yet once more across the battlefield. As soon as the Centurion activated, every falmer in vicinity rushed in to meet their metal foe. It was a genius move, you can use it as distraction, except you really didn’t talk it through and now the falmers you left behind outside this building have barged in and are now chasing your hides into the next area. 

“Where next?! Tell me you know!” You yelled, not even giving a damn if it doubles the ugly ones on your tail. _ This is crazy—why did you agree to this? _At least, that’s the normal reaction but right now, your main struggle is to keep your itching hands from incinerating everything that’s moving in sight. 

Where is Brynjolf going? Like you care right now; both your lungs and limbs are burning and you’re losing track, breaths growing more and more shallow. There was a door or was it a hole? The light’s are snuffed out and there’s soil everywhere. You stumbled several times, blade clashing against rock, against flesh, against anything trying to sink their teeth on you. Trickling, chittering, stinging—how far have you tailed behind Karliah and Brynjolf?

Inigo has been calling.

Why are they looking at you like that...? 

Much like your surroundings, everything’s dark. But this time, you couldn’t see a thing when the world rolled under your feet.

_ “My friend! Help me here-” _

_ “What the—her arm. Shit. She’s poisoned.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments, discuss, or you wanna ( ( s c r e m m ) ) I'm game! Seriously where are all these hits and kudos coming from aaaaaa (thank you really wth y'all make me nervous sometimes haha) >_<


	52. It Begins with an Oath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercer had to learn it the hard way. There is nothing you will not do to protect those you cherish. Time will tell if this oath is for the better or worse.

**051**

**It Begins with an Oath**

  
  
  


...It was in a blizzard like this once. He was carrying you on his back as well. Bandages on your right arm where the numbing is located. 

“Put me down.” You say. “I can walk.” but he just laughed. Softly. Kindly.

“You’re alive. This one thought you dead.” He was relieved. “Thank you for proving me wrong.” 

“Just put me down.” 

“...Are you sure?” 

It’s been ages before you realize who the voice belonged to and came to your senses. Furs tickled your cheeks and you see Karliah looking back several times to check on you. You’re moving forward but your legs are still... “Inigo? Why am I on your back? What happened?” Your furry friend sighed heavily as the group paused to let you down. 

“All better, lass? You were poisoned.” Brynjolf checked your right arm. There was minimal bleeding but the tiny rip on your sleeve showed a darkened spot on your skin. Falmers are known to use poison but you failed to notice one of them grazing you. “Karliah...” “Don’t worry. I’ve given you my best potion. The spreading is kept to its minimum, but it’s not expelled.” She didn’t voice it out but the guilt was oozing out of her eyes. You nod with understanding. If you were dying today, it should be at least from battling Mercer. 

“How far is the Eyes?”

Brynjolf scratches his nose, going over the map and points his thumb towards a straight hall. “You’re just in time to wake up, actually. The grand statue should be located beyond that door and if Karliah’s reading this situation right, so should that arrogant bastard as well. We do this for Gallus and the Guild.” 

“How are you feeling?” Inigo asks you once more.

“Well enough to take my chances. Let’s go.” 

Entering the slightly parted doors, Karliah’s posture stiffens, “He’s here and he hasn’t seen us yet.” The sly thief was just finished bagging a particularly shiny jewel and is climbing down from the head of an immense figure. You hear her pass orders but half your attention couldn’t help but latch itself on the ginormous statue Mercer’s picking at. It was large enough, four times, no, several times bigger in comparison with the statues in Riften. It’s like the whole cavern is made just to house this noble stonework. Eyes of the Falmer… Is _ that _ what Snow Elves used to look like? Shit, you’ve nothing to record it with other than your memory. You didn’t think the prized jewel would be in an actual Snow Elf statue. This is honestly amazing—

_ “Karliah, when will you learn you can’t get the drop on me?” _

Mercer fired his crossbow at your direction and something exploded on the sides, collapsing the ground you stood on. Inigo was able to grab you by the arm but also slid from his spot, forcing you to soften the fall with what little magic you could conjure before getting the air knocked out of your lungs from the impact.

“Inigo, Candle!” You hear Karliah shout your names from above. They avoided the explosion, thank the gods. “This ends here now, Mercer! I’m not letting you harm any more people for your ambitions!” She cursed out.

“Heh. I’ll deal with you after I rid myself of your irksome companions.” The traitor raised his hand clutching something. A sudden glow orbited it and he sent the thin beam of light straight to Brynjolf. “In the meantime, perhaps you and Brynjolf should get better acquainted.” Brynjolf then turned his weapon against Karliah. Despite clearly having hold of his mind, he claims to be unable to stop attacking the dark elf. Mercer sneers maniacally from seeing your mentor helplessly obey the wicked spell.

“Why would you ever do that to Brynjolf of all people?” You groaned, wobbling a bit from getting up. “That’s just uncool.”

Mercer discards the crossbow and hops down to your ground. “When Brynjolf brought you before me I could feel a sudden shift in the wind. And at that moment, I knew it would end with one of us at the end of a blade.”

“Ugh. Not this again. I don’t even remember my joining ceremony or whatever. I sure as hell didn’t want anything to do with assuming control over the guild.”

“Yet you earned their favor with just about every accomplishment you did. You would have grown to be someone who could command authority within the guild. I couldn’t have that, kid.” He growled, brandishing blades on both hands.

You shook your head in resignation, drawing out Gallus’ sword. “Shor’s-_ fucking _-bones, old man. You’ve already booted yourself out of the guild and you’re still on about that. Just give us the Key… and the Eyes if you please.” Something sinister crossed his face and you knew this would end worse than you had imagined. “What's Karliah been filling your head with?! Tales of thieves with honor? Oaths rife with falsehoods and broken promises? Nocturnal doesn't care about you, the Key or anything having to do with the Guild!” He dramatically exclaims as you two circle the floor.

“Right. Because that’s what I’m here for.” You scoffed, not knowing where this bravado is coming from but you’re riding it till its last drop. “I was paralyzed. On the floor. With draugrs crawling about. You didn’t have to stab me, you ugly son of a bitch.”

“Ha! Revenge. I like the spunk but you haven’t learned a thing from us.” He charged and you quickly drew an upward fiery wave to break his momentum, allowing you to get a slash in instead of him. “See how cunning you are? Your actions do not differ from mine,” He growled after stumbling back. “Both of us lie, cheat, and steal to further our own end!”

“The difference is she still has a sense of honor!” Out from the rubbles, Inigo pounces on Mercer. The two rolled and struggled with Mercer successfully kicking a weakened khajiit away. “You made a mistake the day you crossed my friend!” Inigo rasps and you rushed to him with a healing spell. “The only mistake I made was not making sure she’s dead, fool.”

“You’re making it really hard to give you a quick death, mister Frey.”

“Enough talk! Once again, it’s time for my blade to taste Nightingale blood!”

Every second after that was a whirlwind of slashes—swing after swing, even taking the battle to a higher ground; you and Inigo gave it your best against Mercer. Inigo’s footing was easy to match, light footed and balanced execution of attacks, you made sure his blind spots were covered and bought him enough time to recover from his missed charges. The odd one is Mercer. With combined speed and coordination, one of you should already have at least dealt considerable damage against the man. Instead, Mercer stood still, vexed by the fact he can’t break through your deflections with his flurry of attacks, yet you were just as puzzled. There were minor cuts and visible slashes on his armor but that’s it. Just as Karliah had warned you, it’s probably the Key making him extraordinarily agile to survive this long against two disciplined fighters.

“I’ve underestimated you yet again, kid. Karliah awaits so we’ll have to wrap this up now.” With those said, you only just noticed the hand he hid glowing again and in a wink of an eye, a foreign power has enveloped you, taking control of every nerve and limb. “Oh, you’re fucking kidding—Inigo... run! As far away from me!” You swung at him the same time you finished your sentence. “Waa—Why are you attacking me!?” Your friend blinked in confinement confoundment before heeding your words. Mercer made haste to follow and engage the khajiit in battle.

_ ‘Shit… Shit.. Inigo’s gonna get hurt if I don’t break away from this soon—’ _ You struggled to keep your body from acting otherwise and you could feel your magic rapidly depleting from the resistance you’re putting up. How long is this effective? Shit. Brynjolf is still under the influence. The Key must be the only way.

_ Or… _

Holding out onto your mana, you clawed at the wound on your right arm, howling in pain as you tore at your own skin with uncontrolled force. Dropping on your knees with the blood quickly pooling on the ground, you recited an old incantation, clutching on the red-stained soil. This has to work. This has to match Mercer’s stolen power.

Breathing the last word of the spell, you mentally apologized to Marie. Spilled blood takes life in a matter of seconds and amplifies your own magic, breaking your body free of his vile grasp.

* * *

Another rumbling got everyone’s attention. Kaidan’s frown doubled over but Rumarin grabbed his arm and shook his head. “What d’ya mean?! Leave them there, are you insane?!”

“She hasn’t rung the sphere yet. And they’d tell you the same if we switched positions!” The high elf argued. Kaidan’s expression further darkened as he and Lucien crossed their arms very judgingly. “Okay. They probably won’t, but the point stands.” Rumarin retracts. “We have to find another way in. A safer way to get them.” He slaps the enchanted map on the table.

Auri shushed the mounts but to no avail. “Guys. We have to leave this place. Animals are uneasy when something’s wrong. You heard the rumblings. Something’s going down there. Y’ffre I hope they’re safe.” she exhaled.

The swordsman looked at Lucien to take his vote, “I-you want my opinion? Weeelll… I hate to leave. They may need us here but… If there’s another way in.” He looked hopefully at Rumarin who nodded, quickly working on the map as they moved out. “We need a higher ground to scout. Let’s go.”

It was so uncharacteristic of him to sound so responsible. Maybe he’s only playing such an active role because he’ll feel really bad if something were to happen to those two. He knew he could’ve come with them but the idea wasn’t so appealing at the time. It still isn’t, but finally knowing he counts those two as his friends is giving him pause.

* * *

Without a spell or blade to cover his vulnerable spots, Mercer lunged at the blue khajiit, who guarded his side with the sword. He then used the opening to bury his dagger on Inigo’s neck. Strangely, the tip didn’t connect and only brought a slash across his enemy’s face.

“Gah! You clipped a whisker!” Inigo exclaims, breaking off the contact. Mercer attempted to charge again, only to slip on his heel and almost fall off the ledge. “Getting clumsy, old man?” Inigo goaded but he knew better. A force pulled at his feet. He put a distance between them and he was smart to do so, for a zap of lightning just _ barely _ missed him when he jumped away.

That pesky kid! Glancing around frantically, he was caught in a surprise when a sword came swinging from behind the wall. “Pssh. Looks like I’m not the only one with dirty tricks up their sleeve.” He spat, raising his blades against Brynjolf’s protégé. She spared him no words and immediately launched a straightforward attack with Inigo joining her. After a set of deflected attacks, Mercer used the key to vanish briefly, successfully distracting them enough for him to shove both of them off the ledge.

Inigo’s name rang inside the cavern. You held on to the pipes, finding a bit of comfort to see your best friend’s still drawing breath, if unconscious. Mercer’s face split into a wicked grin as he runs towards Karliah, who’s currently struggling to keep Brynjolf at bay in such a small space.

“Son of a bitch! Get back here!” You screamed, pulling yourself up and climbing back to the ledge. You charged your free hand with magicka and yanked the bastard back to your direction. That’ll get his attention.

“You fucking brat! I’ll see you do not recover this time!” Full of himself as ever, the man vanishes again. Picking up Gallus’ sword you wiped its blade to your right arm. “You don’t get to harm my friend and walk away a free man.” You seethed, eyes closing.

_ Steady your heart and focus. _

Hearing his footsteps nearing, you raised the blood coated sword and swung it down with all your power. Mercer’s magic deactivates upon parrying your blow, his dagger slicing through your left bracer and arm and your slash giving him a well deserved cut down his chest. The thick armor took in most of the damage but you saw a wound. Good.

“You blocked it with your flesh and a scratch is all you managed to do. Haha! Here’s hoping you take pride in that in the afterlife.” He mocks, bracing for another attack.

“A scratch is enough.”

“What are you—”

Flames suddenly erupted from the wound he acquired, taking him by surprise. “Ah! AHH! What did you do!?” He fretted, dropping his sword to swipe off the raging fire that’s burning his skin. You stalked, giving Mercer another wound on the arm that defended against your slash. In but a single tilt of your head, it too started to burn and his panic rose. He stumbled and rolled, finding the discarded crossbow and fired. You easily evaded, hearing the explosive bolt hit something else and continued to follow him. A dozen curses flew your way but none were received. Your attention was drawn in by the deadly light slowly consuming him. You rained slashes at your prey, none too strong to wound him deeply but enough to never give him time for recovery. He wailed in agony, trying to kill the embers eating off his flesh until he was shrieking, cursing your existence so loud, it matched the ringing in your head.

It didn’t make a difference when the hilt became too slippery to the touch. You kicked him over, crouched and brought your blood-soaked hands to his face, painting his eyes red, and watched as the colour slowly ignited with life. You stepped a few paces back before letting your masterpiece fully burst into the brightest and liveliest of flames—

—_ Oh listen to the way the music reaches its loudest! Just like the Thalmor in the prison! The people sang so beautifully back in the Reach— _

“HEY!”

Inigo’s angry tone pierces through the voices filling your head and you blinked. Back to reality, back to sanity, to yourself. You panicked, squeezing yourself out of any mana left to seal off your open wounds. “Easy! What’s happening to you?” Inigo catches you by the arms. The annoyance in your blue friend’s voice was replaced with concern. “Get me away from that.. _ thing _. Now.” You limped away from Mercer’s dying screams and saw both thieves giving you an odd look.

“I… Brynjolf...”

“What happened, lass? You look pale-”

“No! The pipes!” Karliah interrupted quickly, pointing at a large pipe behind the statue leaking water. Must have been what the bolt hit. “The Key? Grab it and get over here. This place will get flooded.” “The door’s stuck!” a badly beaten Brynjolf announced.

“I’ll find a way to climb up, you get the Key and Eyes, my friend.” Inigo urged only to be held back by you. “Can you.. Can you do that instead? I lost a lot of blood, uhm… I’ll scout a way up.” You gulped, trying to mask the myriad of conflict in your face but seem to be failing so far. Still, Inigo complied and that felt more comforting than you thought.

_ ‘What the hell was that back there… That kind of feeling.. The smell of blood and his screams.’ _ You gagged at the vivid details in your mind. Deciding it’s better forgotten sooner, you turned your attention instead to the rising waters.

“I can’t get it open. The explosion earlier must’ve blocked the other side, damn it!”

“No… We can’t drown here.” Karliah almost sounded hopeless. Seeing the end of her mission only to be drowned in some forgotten ruin. “Find a way. We have to... We’re near a lake if I’m not mistaken.”

Everyone began to scavenge anything salvageable. You staggered to get Gallus’ sword but cannot help eyeing it with disgust. Yet no matter how much you rinsed it, the blood just wouldn’t wash off. Deep inside, you knew.

The permanence wasn’t on the blade.

It was on your hands.

* * *

“Come on, over there. Look! Look, the noises were coming from there!” Auri kept pointing at a cave across the other end of the lake.

“Uhh I dunno.. You sure this is worth investigating?” Kaidan moved the slowest of the four, huge thanks to his heavy set of armor. “I can see pipes peeking out. And I can confirm those are dwemer ones.” Lucien huffed, joining the conversation. They trekked the frozen waters with nothing but a hunch to follow. When they left the main entrance to Irkngthand, it was here that the map brought them to. It’s no coincidence that they’re tiptoeing across the ice just to get a shot at closing the gap between them and their companions.

The closer they got, the louder the noises became. Something was exploding inside, moreover, there was... _ Thunder _and crackling beneath. Rumarin and Lucien peeked and was a second away from getting swallowed by the collapsing ground if it weren’t for Kaidan hauling them back.

“Wha.. The ground gave away! Something was hitting it from beneath. You all heard it!” Auri tapped the swordsman’s back and told him to give it a check. But that was highly unnecessary.

Out from the corner of the cave they heard _ people _gasping and wheezing for air. “My goodness...” Lucien’s words fell like empty cans that bounced off the walls. They’ve returned! Inigo carried Candle who’s wearing a cracked amulet, and two other thieves limped into their views, shivering, shuddering, soaked in frigid water and their companions could only watch in mix of horror and joy at the sight of them battered but alive.

“Oh good, you’re back! Wait, how do I know one of you is not Mercer?” Rumarin stops himself short from welcoming his companions, getting a deserved glare no second later after he said it. “I’m just making sure. Hey, because she looks a lot less paler when she went underground.”

Kaidan took a moment to notice the details Rumarin pointed out and expressed _ very colorful _reactions when Inigo gave them a briefing.

You had little energy to stay conscious after forcing the hall to crumble and give way to an exit, but there were voices circling around you after you reached the surface.

Karliah was mumbling to herself. Like she couldn’t believe they’d survive and Brynjolf was thanking you but you couldn’t follow their words.

The noises became louder, more relieved, joyful but also filled with sorrow. It’s becoming hard to listen.

_ ‘So tired...’ _

Your knees buckled but didn’t hit the ground. And unexpectedly, your head didn’t meet any hard surface when the world spun you around. Instead, a pair of hands caught your back, wrapping on your legs and you were just floating from there on. 

Light as feather, drifting in the ocean.

Dots of gems and waves of colours lulling you to sleep.

_ “Breathe, Rozenn.” _

You’re alive.

* * *

“Hmph. She lives. Very well.” The cult leader, Dalamus dismissed his scouts after receiving the reports out of Irkngthand. “My dear lady, you heard what they said.” His rueful voice resounded in the dim stonehall. “Keeping an eye on their location will be easy but making contact will prove to be impossible.”

The priestess smiled under her hood. “Of course. There is no need to rush, my lord.” her honey laced words masking insidious intentions.

“Those outlaw mages we recruited proved to be good-for-nothings. We have to take out her companions to get her alone.”

“Patience, master Dalamus. Wouldn’t you prefer that they have died in the name of our Lord Dagon? Now they can claim their places within his kingdom. We must wait.”

“Need I remind you that the witch’s daedra refused to aid us despite your claims that it will?”

“We take all the risk that there is for the glory of Mehrunes Dagon, my lord. The daedra may not have favored us for trying to enslave it forcefully but separating her from it denied her of dealing immense magic and thus improved our chances of subduing her.” She persuaded the irked dunmer cultist. “One way or another, she will find herself here. I know this, dear master. All she needs is to remember.”

* * *

Melodic chirping rang around your head, making you flutter your eyes open. Wind blew from an open window by your bedside and it was refreshingly cool. Even the clear blue sky indicated good weather ahead. Then it hits you.

The wooden walls, the expensive bed, the climate and autumn forests dotting the landscape outside. You scrambled, clumsily wobbling left to right as if your legs have forgotten what walking is like. “Why am I in Goldenglow?” You sighed, reaching a mirror but getting twice as confused.

A quiet gasp leads you turning to the door.

“Auri..? You’re he—” The bosmer didn’t let you finish. She places the basket on the table and rushes in to wrap her tiny arms around you.

“Auri... I haven’t bathed yet.” You coughed up, adjusting from a dry throat.

A small chuckle escaped her. “Thank Y’ffre you’re back.” Her voice cracked just a bit. “The laceration on your arm had me worried.”

Your heart skipped when she asked of the wound. “How long was I out?” you asked, passing the question.

“Not more than a week.”

“Inigo? I wasn’t able to heal him.”

Auri lets go of you saying it’s fine. “Your vigilant is here, she also took care of the poison in your bloodstream.” she says. “She was so distraught waiting back at Nightgate inn. But I’m quite glad she trusted us to watch your back.” Then her face fell at the mention. “Honestly, I feel like we could have avoided this if we were there.”

Racking your memory back to how _ delightful _ the place is, you entwined your fingers with the bosmer and gave her your sincerest _ disapproving _ face. “I’m actually glad you guys didn’t get to experience that nightmare. Walls spew monstrosities here and there. Ick. Don’t get me started on the narrow passages where you can get jumped at a moment’s notice!” You shuddered.

Deep set of amber eyes fixed on yours as you talked and her lips quirked up in a smile which you always find enthralling. “That sounds like you. Let’s go then. I’ll help you prepare. I think most of them have much to report.”

* * *

Everyone was in a hurry to check on you, Marie above the lot of them, but the quiet servant of yours kept to herself to make way for the others. She and Rumarin arranged for dinner while the rest has you occupied. Hours swept by, from dusk till the twin moons were up high, witnessing your merry round table passing gossips and discussion from the previous week for you to catch up on. Tales of what happened during your venture were exchanged over dinner—Inigo taking the honor of narrating the events, of course, and you were more than happy enough to share with Lucien the things you recalled from the ruin which the lad may find fascinating.

“What are you gonna do now after the guild, my lady?” Marie asked.

“I’m sure there are still some things to smooth over with them. And I won’t lie and say I’m leaving my roguish ways,” you grinned at them. “but I’m a fully-fledged adventurer from now on, that I know. Let’s hound those notice boards!” you raised a toast and cheered with everyone.

The group finally enjoyed a dinner with a complete participant. You can count this a mini celebration—a reward of some sort, for it was quite the struggle but now you can finally step out to the world as a free lass.

Goldenglow was nice. Especially without mercenaries patrolling the area, it feels like a vacation home with the fresh breeze coming from the lake. The vigilant filled you in, but not before a heartfelt speech to welcome you back. According to her words, Brynjolf made arrangements the moment he got back to Riften. Says that since you technically got your hands on the bill after Aringoth and Gulum-Ei renounced their claims on it, the Estate should be your property now if you’ll have it. In this case, your week long silence was taken as approval, otherwise you’ll have no roof to shelter and nurse you back to health.

“Catching some air?”

Kaidan approached you on the guard platform near the honey farm. “It’s funny. They all said I infiltrated the place and have proof for it but I barely recognize how it looks, save for the interior.” You told him, crossed arms while leaning on a post.

“Said the Key could unlock anything. You didn’t use it for your memories...?”

You whipped around in aghast.

“Er.. That was just a guess. I don’t really know how that works.”

“You know about the Key? Kaidan I can explain-“ The man raises a hand to stop you. “I think Karliah explained enough. I’m not going to judge you, Gods know I’ve no right. My question is... Is it _ your _choice?” You gawked at him for a while. Stood like a mute who has no idea what the words thrown at her meant. And you gulped, nodding as you lowered your head. “I can’t say I was aiming for it. But I’m not averse to it either.”

He then gave you one of those pinning looks, those he puts on when he’s about to lecture someone but for tonight he refrains. “Alright, woman. As long as you know what you’re in for.”

“Gotcha.”

For a solid minute, he stood with you enjoying the evening ambience. Under normal circumstances, it should be fine. But right now, he’s insufferably tensed—and you don’t even have to look behind to feel the jitters.

“So...” For weird reasons, he’s not going away. Not like you want him to, you’re rather fond of his company, but in or out of his armor, Kaidan’s easy to read when he’s being awkward. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you.” The lack of volume in his voice suggested even more unease.

“Something wrong?”

He was quiet, thinking perhaps, and you couldn’t look back. You can’t clearly tell why but his approach makes you nervous somehow. Hearing him take a breath sent a sudden bolt through your nerves. “When we first began travelling together, it was because I promised to repay a life debt to you. After every battle we’ve been through, some might say that debt has long since been discharged.” The heaviness in his words wasn’t sinking correctly that you had to turn around and take a pause.

Do you look stupid? What are you thinking, of course you look stupid, close your damn mouth, woman. “Oh! You’re asking if you can leave? I, well sur—”

“No!” He disagreed rather strongly. “Uh, no that’s… that’s not what I was getting at.” says the man, looking about and waving his hand uncomfortably. “Look. I’ve been on my own.. _ a long time _, without anyone I felt I could trust, or any place to really belong.” Then he braves himself and meets you in the eyes and something in those deep red pools begins building up his confidence, “Since I’ve met you, that’s started to change.”

Is this Kaidan? These words felt foreign coming from him but this doesn’t seem like a prank. Just enough to get your brows raising in surprise and confusion, that’s all.

“There are many ways to save a life, Nightingale. And you’ve saved mine in more than I can explain.”

“I don’t..” You shook your head with a laugh, “I don’t understand. If anyone was saving someone, it’s you people. I’m the one who’s always getting in trouble.” You tried setting it straight. Though you’re starting to get a feeling that’s not what this is about. It was Kaidan’s turn to shake his head. “You get in trouble so others won’t have to. If that’s not saving for you… well… Listen, I was out there, staring blankly at those doors waiting when you will come back, dreading if you ever will after you’ve stepped inside that building. And when the ground started shaking and we were forced to retreat from the tower, knowing the only way I know to get to you is not possible for the moment I…” Kaidan’s shoulder fell with a sigh and his frown softened, “I know what I felt.” he confessed, closing in a few steps in hopeless attempts to at least get you on his side.

Kaidan was spewing a lot of words right now. Words filled with meaning and emotion and _ this is Kaidan and it’s too much to process at once _ so you let your mouth hang open but no words came out. You’ve never seen him so…. _ open _about himself. It’s new. It’s good. But it’s also quite overwhelming.

“My point is..” he continued after the window for a reply had passed, “I watched you help people without asking anything in return. I watched you throw yourself in the line of danger without an ounce of hesitation if it meant protecting those close to you. Woman, you made me remember how it feels like to look at someone and be filled with respect for them.”

This time you meet him halfway when he took another step towards you.

“I’d put my life in front of yours if it comes to it, _ my lady. _” he gazed at you with faint hints of playfulness, but above all that was pure adoration in his eyes. He held out his hand and straightened himself. “Now that you’re a free woman, I want to know if you still want me at your side. Not as a mercenary under obligation, but as your friend. Your ally.”

Without a thought, you grabbed his arm and pulled him in a quick embrace. Guess he wasn’t expecting that by the looks on his face. “Why do you even need to ask, Kai? I thought we were already friends for life after I got my arse kicked back in the prison and you had to carry me out!” You were beaming, _ beaming _, and absolutely thankful that the lack of proper lighting is hiding how uncontrollably red your face is right now.

“Aye.” He actually laughed, still holding your hands and giving you a look that could turn your bones into goo.

“I am your sword and shield.”

Never did you ever imagine to receive such high praises from a man who looks like he’s got the emotional capacity of a mudcrab. And look now he’s grinning stupidly like you, wow!

“Oi! Whatsh this I’m hearing…?” Someone slurred nearby, making the two of you look by the bridge. Rumarin and Inigo are swaggering towards you smelling like wine from a mile, Lucien stumbled before them and the two girls are following with baskets in hand.

“Whar’ye two good lookin’ fellas doing ‘ere?” Gods, Rumarin is losing grip of words when he’s drunk. He waves a bottle of Honningbrew and flashed a toothy grin. “Ha! Look at that bashtard Aringoth! He has these hidden after all! I can agree with him. Screw that Black-Briar garbage!” He cheered and took a swig of his favorite liquor. “Anyway… Heard you two pledging yourselves to each other.”

Kaidan exchanged flustered looks with you and yelled in unison. “NO! It’s not like that—”

“I want in. Heeh.” Wait, what? Rumarin crouched and tripped but got up on one knee in front of you. “AHEM.. I’d never had this much luxury and fun as an adventurer. My invisible magic sword is yours.” He says with a straight face while holding out, well, an invisible sword for you, though you assume he actually meant his conjured weapons—Divines you sure hope it’s that!

“Nice.” you snorted in amusement. Inigo followed suit, giving you a friendly pat, “You always have my steel, my friend. For as long as I draw breath anyway.”

“I’ve got you back, Candle.” Lucien happily chimes in, “Hopefully in the future, I can be capable enough to tell the others the same.” He nervously added by the end. “Don’t worry, my arrows are here to protect my friends.” Auri chirped along with Marie who needed not to voice her devotion for you. A genuine smile was all you needed, just like old times.

“So, what’s in the box?” You peeked curiously as they placed it down. “Crackers! _ Firecrackershh! _” Rumarin waddled to a nearby bench. Someone should just put this poor sod to bed but you’re finding the display too funny to end. Turns out, the previous owner still had a stash of fireworks left in the basement and these people went treasure hunting after dinner. “Now’s the best time to light them up, right? In honor of getting ownership of this estate. You deserve this reward more than anyone.” Lucien proudly declares, helping set it up.

After putting everything in place, they distanced themselves to safety and waited for Candle to strike it up.

“Don’t set anything on fire other than those things.” Kaidan groans.

You stretched your recovering arms, rubbing your hands to produce sparks of fire. Looking back and seeing them, you feel yourself filled up with nothing but unbridled joy at the moment, stars coming alive inside you that you can burst into happy little bubbles just by being with them. Applying fire to the long line of oiled linen that’s been set, you turn on your heel to return their kind words,

“May the Stars and all the Gods be my witness as I say this; There is nothing in this world I will not do to protect every single one of you.”

And the sky lit up with thousands of sparkling colours, but the brightest ones that night were the smiles you shared with your friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i WAS going to post this right after the last one but as I was working on this last night I boinked on the bed and just went into a 15-hour sleep wtf?? :'D :'D I'm so sorry so uhh, here! I thought I'd post two chapter to make up for my inactiveness lately and most likely bc the previous chapter lacked closure that I wanted ahah :D So there we go, Thieves Guild arc wrapped up! (The Twilight Sepulcher is still on the list but that's more of a dessert xD)
> 
> Thank you for reading! And for my next trick, my brain cells will explode--


	53. Cowardice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks of settling in their new Estate, the new Nightingale is facing the challenge of a past catching up to her and a revelation is but the start of another trial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan is a tired mom trope in this chap. Send him luv pls ……┌┤´д`├┐

**052**

**Cowardice**

Darkness enveloped the Sepulcher. Shadows branching out, seeping, clawing, hungry to consume you. You fought countless times only to fail.

No one can escape the shadows.

But the Key must be returned.

_ “Karliah...? You called.” _

_ “I couldn’t do it, Nightingale... Not alone... Please, help me find my way back.” _

Voices spiralled inside your head. Whispers of the dead, the forgotten, they call on you.

_ “Gallus...!” _

_ “I feared you have befallen the same fate my love.” _

Fear nothing, child. The shadows will protect you.

Key in hand, you clutched on it with determination—the only thing keeping you sane enough to know everything is real.

_ “You didn’t use it for your memories...?” _

Curiosity turned into desire. Desire became desperation. The chance to align the picture, to put things in place and to find the answer you’ve long stopped searching for.

_ “I bid you to drink deeply from the Ebonmere, mortal. For this is where the agent of Nocturnal is born.” _

* * *

_ **Third week of Last Seed 4E 200, Goldenglow Estate in Riften...** _

“Wake up will you! Candle!“

A nightmare riddled with the events of a skull numbing fight in order to return a lost artifact or smacking the side of your head on the floor with a loud _ THUD _was not an ideal way to greet a new day. Yes, the smell of wood being the first thing your brain processes in whatever-in-oblivion time it is. Spectacular. The banging on the door became even more forceful and the man on the other side nearly broke the knob from his rattling until you reached for it.

“Kaidan, oh gods...” you moaned and unfortunately, not in _ that _ kind of way. Stumbling then rolling, you go back to your tangled heap of blankets on the floor. “Will you stop hounding on me...” You scolded him while buried on your scattered pillows.

“I would’ve if you opened right away! Look at your self—looks like you had an Oblivion Crisis in this room.” He says, gesturing wildly at your disorganized wardrobe and cluttered desk. And why are you splayed on the floor like a bloody corpse when your bed’s literally beside you!”

“Alright, mom. What do you want.” You squinted.

“Don’t you mock me—”

“Was it bad?” you cut him off and he quiets down. “I wasn’t wailing again, I hope?” Hidden from under your blankets, you could only imagine his face when he lets out a short sigh and makes his way to sit on your bed. “No. But since you returned from that mission with Karliah, you’ve been a pain in the arse to deal with.” He says, most definitely with a frown.

Then, surprisingly, _ uncharacteristically _, he scoops you off the ground! Wrapped with blankets and all, you feel him flip you around and lift you like an ugly large sack of cocoon.

“W-what are you...!”

“I’m restraining you until you cooperate.”

“Preposterous!” You bring out the posh in your tone, “You can’t arrest a person for snoring in their own home!”

He _ tosses _ you back on the bed—the gall! And since you can’t simply move freely, you had to wiggle quite a while to sit up. _ ‘This bastard enjoys tormenting me this early, oh I can tell from that look he has.’ _ You glared at him sitting beside you.

“You’re not snoring. You’re scaring me.” He says, reverting back to a more serious tone. “Do you know Inigo has nightmares, too? Everyone does, aye. But none of us go mumbling in some creepy language.” What is he saying? You’re talking in another language again, but this time you’re not possessed. Wait, are you?

“Figured it sounded like an incantation or the likes. Do you understand now? You could do something dangerous without knowing, geez.” He says.

Is this for real? And nobody told you—

“Oi? You don’t know? Suppose that makes sense. You’ve been turning everyone away and lock yourself in here.” He reports, “You brush off the topic every time but when I heard you struggling again, I couldn’t...” Kaidan takes a pause, refraining to finish his sentence. “Something clearly happened in that mission.”

You anchored your gaze on the floor. “Nothing worth talking about.”

“Are you really sure?” he stands up, completely perturbed. “You’ve been back for four days and this occurred in every single one of it. Will you tell me what happened?” persistent as he may be, the man respects your silence and leaves eventually.

You’re not worth his trouble.

What good will it do to tell him of your burden?

It’s useless.

...

“I used the Key.”

The door failing to close meant he stopped on his tracks. “You used the—wait, isn’t that forbidden?” He asks with growing concern.

“I used the Key, alright? I got back the better parts of my life before the prison. Not everything but glimpses of it enough to-...” you inhaled sharply.

The statement surely stunned him. He opened his mouth to say something but... There’s really nothing he can do at the moment.

“Marie was right, you know.” The lump forming in your throat isn’t feeling any better with each breath. “It was better off forgotten.”

* * *

Quiet steps infiltrated the second floor. You snuck around, hoping to get down to the kitchen without bumping into someone. It was like doing the mission again, except this time the goal is to just grab some meal.

You passed by the first room at the end of the hall. It was locked so you worried a bit until you heard snoring. Oh, Rumarin. Ever the sloth he is. It was still a bit too early anyway. Then you felt more at ease nearing Kaidan’s room. He knows you’re up but won’t bother you after asking him to give you more time to think.

_ ‘Empty. He must be out training.’ _

Descending on the first floor, you easily spot Inigo forgetting to close his door again from across the hall. Lucien’s room is located between but you need not to worry since he set out for Cyrodiil shortly before you took off with Karliah to the Twilight Sepulcher. The lad has yet to return but promised to be back before the month ends. There are a few more rooms around—it’s an estate after all, designed to house a large family—and there’s the basement rooms where Marie resides, since Auri refused to live in a wooden home and made a nifty camping spot on the spacious land where Aringoth’s guard used to station at.

It’s only been a month but it’s slowly turning into a home. Lucien’s few books on the shelf, flour stains between the floorboards from Rumarin’s cooking, the little claw marks left near the fireplace when Inigo was trying to kill a cockroach with his bare hands, Kaidan’s tools for tinkering cluttered on the drawer by the backdoor, the laundry always kept neatly arranged by Marie, and Auri’s crafting materials secured inside a lockbox hidden in the living room. These tiny bits that mark their presence in the house means a lot to you.

Right now, Lucien is away but he is here. He will be back. You hold on to this strange sense of reassurance, knowing they can turn heel and leave just as quick but strongly believing otherwise.

After closing Inigo’s door, you made haste to the kitchen and grabbed whatever ingredient you could work with. A simple meal containing meat, egg, and a little salad on the side. And as you let your mind wander adrift, a faintly familiar tune finds its way into you.

Half a year feels like a lifetime ago. Ever since you emerged from that prison, you determined it to be your new path. A fresh one. And after reuniting with Marie, it only strengthened your resolve not to look back on those things you lost. You thought the path to progress only lies forward.

_ ‘I never should’ve... The mountain pile of illusion spells I placed on myself, gone and dispelled with a single use of that Key.’ _

“Lady Rozenn?” Marie called softly.

A small jolt shot through your spine. You shifted around to see the vigilant standing at the kitchen’s entry way, wearing a look of that who has seen a ghost.

“You were humming. You never hummed that tune since...” And as realization washes over her, so did horror. “By gods. You remember, don’t you?” she takes a small step forward and a wave of fear descended on you. “Rozenn, don’t lie to me now. We know something was amiss with your return. How did you—”

Without even so much as a word, you _ vanished _ and ran back to your room. You heard her pursuing you, not even giving a damn if it alerts the others and you locked the door the moment you stepped in your bedroom. Marie begged outside but you opted to shield the door in ice.

What to do.

_ WHAT DO I DO? _

“Rozenn, please! Don’t do it—you can’t keep doing this!” The vigilant was nearly in tears, pleading her mistress to desist. The rest of the household was quick to respond, helping the vigilant chip away the thick ice.

“What the hell? If she wants to be left alone, leave her be.” Rumarin half yawned from his room.

“I can’t do that!” Lyanna cried at them, and this got everyone’s eye. The serving girl has showed opposition to her mistress before but she was never this emotional since the Fire Festival. “She knows. She remembers what happened, I just know it!”

“Then what’s the matter? Maybe she needs time? It can be quite overwhelming.” Inigo reasoned.

“It is. That’s why we have to stop her.” Lyanna cuts off every probing question in line with her next words; “She’s going to try and hide her memory again!”

* * *

** _4E 198, In an old building residing in the regions of Falkreath..._ **

“Father! Help, somebody!” Marie’s wails couldn’t match the panic rising in her. She should have suspected something was wrong when her mistress spent more time locked indoors and consumed more parchments for research. In her arms laid an unconscious Rozenn, too young, too naive enough to think that it’s better to risk having a broken mind by subjecting herself to dangerous illusions than live with the horrors they’ve faced.

Her parents quickly responded to her bellows, the rest of their camp following to learn more of the commotion.

“I’m borrowing a horse. We need better potions to pull her out of that state.” Says the Steward after exiting the building’s premises.

“I’ll come with you!”

“No!” The Steward firmly objects. “You are needed here should they require more assistance inside. Worry not, your mother will instruct you.” He tells the lot waiting outside with Marie. “Before lady Rozenn’s father passed away, he asked me to always look out for his daughter. I will not fail him this time.”

At this, Marie could only look on with forlorn as she stood guard outside, not used to feeling this useless in such an urgent situation.

“Alright. What happened?” A curious tone rather than a worried one. Marie sent Rozenn’s most trusted friend, Shadow Tapper, an offended look. “Hey, do not judge this one so quickly. He really does not know what’s going on with all this magic and witchcraft talk!” the khajijt raises his hands defensively.

“An illusion spell designed to “erase” memories. What it does in truth is convince the mind that it doesn’t exist, disallow them from recalling events. There are no successful accounts of its usage. An old research and very much dangerous. It was easily outlawed because of its unsteady nature and high risks.” She explained in her same stoic demeanor like reciting a book. Frustration began to show in her eyes, “I caught her once before. Maybe I should have been more inquisitive? _ Sigh. _I-I saw her notes. She was trying to alter it or at least make it work on herself.”

Tappy passed on clueless shrugs with a Seven horned lizard and the household chef. “Ehh.. Did it work?”

The young breton’s jaw clenches. “She couldn’t recognize me before she passed out. I disturbed her ritual but... I don’t know if I was too late.” She ended with a tremble.

Seven-Horns waved in a hurry before the girl starts sinking into a bottomless pit. “Your folks there, they can pull her out, right? Tell us they can bring her back.”

“As much as I’m desperate for assurance, we can only hope.”

* * *

It took a few blinks before Candle realizes she’s being called by her real name.

_ ‘What...’ _

And somebody was holding her arms. Repeated phrases telling her to calm down and breathe. They asked her why she did it—why she attempted to bind herself in magic. Why throw away something vital?

Anger, disappointment, confusion, and sorrow. She studied their reactions only to see it reflects her own.

“You’d really give it all up after fighting this far? Are you really that selfish? This won’t stop your enemies from finding you!” Kaidan scolded as he let her arm go.

“Rozenn, not again.” Marie pulls her in a swift hug, embarrassment roasting her alive. “This isn’t the answer.”

“Don’t be too hasty, my friend. We can work this out. Whatever it is, I’m here for you.” Inigo assures while Rumarin wore a look that perfectly displayed his curiosity.

Heat crept from her neck to ears, fighting yet failing to conceal the embarrassment this kind of attention brought her. Words filled in the room, her head; the worst part is that she agrees with them. She is being stupidly selfish. Everyone wants to keep speaking, but maybe it’s her who refuse to listen. If she doesn’t break from the spell, this will do the job.

“Stop.”

A whisper brings forth silence. Sliding her hands to dig on her nape, hopefully to calm down the nerves, she breathes in deeply for the first time. “I haven’t started shit. So stop.”

And when Kaidan sends her an unconvinced look, her shame only grew worse. “Alright, I thought about it! But I-.. I just froze.”

“And...?” he presses on.

“That’s enough, swordsman.” Marie warned Kaidan from sensing her mistress’ tension spike through. The red eyed swordsman threw his hands up in frustration. “Have it your way.” He says, then stomped out of the room.

“Excuse the behaviour, my lady. After you set out for Falkreath he has been on edge. Then you returned and...” The vigilant paused to pick her words carefully. “He worried greatly for you is what I’m trying to say, I guess.”

The woman glanced up briefly. “I was afraid I’d forget everyone.” She tells them, head lowered like a guilty child. Marie then politely asked the other two to give them some time when she deemed her lady stable enough. The answer was enough. If she picked them over a temporary sense of comfort, then that was the only thing Marie needs to know.

“I, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t. You’re a smart person, my lady.” She cuts her off. “If you can create a work-around for a defective spell, you _ can _fight it this time. I’ll carry it with you, you have my word.”

The anxious thief shakes her head, “I don’t understand. Before, you said it was better that I did not know.”

“Before when you didn’t show any signs of loss. I don’t know how you made it work in the past but your mind was intact when we met again. I had hope to keep it that way but...” the vigilant firmly held Candle’s hands. “How much do you remember?”

“The raid of our camp... But not everything.”

So the erasure focused on the day their camp was attacked. Of course. “That’s fine now. We can work with that. We will, I promise. Just- I can’t risk you trying it again. I can’t lose you after all this... The world can’t lose you.” she held her dearest close, feeling a renewed sense of relief when Candle returns her embrace.

To see a person so capable give up this easy—there must be a reason why the Gods reunited them. She’s not losing another family, especially not Rozenn. When the end comes, this world will need her.

* * *

Placing a sack full of fresh game on the kitchen, a proud smile graces Auri’s lips. She appreciates having some time to rest but simply couldn’t sit idle in a wooden home. The thrill of action and adventure always beckoned her to leave the Estate and play in the region’s autumn forests. Each day she’d set out to train her skills, even bag several games if she’s in for it, and would come back by dusk. The backdoor entrance just opened so she had thought to make her presence known.

“Hello, Kaidan. How was your-“ Kaidan strode past her without paying her so much as a glance. “...day. Hm?” She tilts her head. The man was known to be rough and brash sometimes but he was extra grumpy today. Peeking outside, she sees Rumarin chatting up Inigo while he’s practicing with the bow. _‘Silly Inigo, he’ll never be able to continuously fire three at a row with that kind of posture!’ _Well, then. It looks like those two are already outside for some time.

After seeing Marie and getting a vapid answer of “Maybe he just needs some time to sort his thoughts out.”, the bosmer decided to just poke around herself. Everyone seems so distant lately. Is she missing out on something?

Soft knocks echoed in the hallway of the second floor. Attentive ears perked up upon catching a faint grunt for a response. Somehow, his noise spoke volumes of wanting to be left alone. She should start with the simple stuff.

“Kaidan? It’s Auri. You didn’t seem yourself back downstairs. Is there something wrong? Are you ill?”

“I’m fine. Thanks.” The voice replied behind the door. Well. That was about the furthest from fine she had ever heard. Where’s Lucien? If she didn’t know any better, she’d say this house is full of emotionally stunted adults. Stepping back in resignation, it was only by accident that the master bedroom’s open door caught her eye.

Didn’t they mention Candle locking herself day in and out? Wait, where is she?

A pleasant surprise it is, she finds Candle sitting near the waters. She had heard the breton being reclusive since her return but only assumed it was due to fatigue. That and her hunts took her away from Goldenglow most times of the day.

“Hello.” She greets in her usual cheery tone. The lady flinched but gave her a curt smile and resumed looking into the setting sun. Auri’s enthusiasm considerably shifted when she finally took notice of the woman’s weary eyes. She smoothened the patch of grass beside Candle and sat on it, trying to weigh in the situation. “How are you feeling?” She asked, fully aware that she knows very little of what’s happening lately but making sure her friend knows she’s listening.

Candle slowly took in a deep breath. Enough to shudder, enough to tell Auri she was crying. “I’m so stupid, Auri.” She spoke softly, looking away. “I’m angry. Confused. Frustrated. So very frustrated... And I have no else to blame but myself━....... You probably don’t know what I’m talking about..” She added in the end.

“No-, tell me, then. I want to understand.”

Hurt flickered wildly beneath her ocean eyes as she glanced at Auri. Candle set her sights towards the horizon. “Of course. You always proved that you listen. I...” She started, voice growing weaker with each heartbeat. “..have regained a memory.”

Auri’s surprise must have been apparent when the woman revealed she regrets it. “Oh my. But I see. I.. do understand where you’re coming from.” She tells her friend, recalling a terrible memory of her own. “Sometimes forgetting is preferable.”

“Auri...”

“Go on. I’ll tell you some other time.” She fakes a smile to assure the breton.

Candle had a difficult time piecing her words together but still she tried so Auri’s efforts wouldn’t be a waste. “....A few of us were chased out. None got too far, but they all helped me make my way into a cliff. I jumped and managed to break contact with them. Even when the witch struck me, I was able to escape. I’ve been on my own since then... I think so anyway.” The woman runs a hand through her lush curls. “I could have saved them Auri. I should have done something before running... _ sigh. _ What am I saying. I can’t change anything now.”

Auri was, for the moment, speechless. This was not an easy one to share.

“Auri, I don’t know what to do..” Her voice cracked, “I’m out here kicking myself and I can’t stop. I’m scared to talk to the others but I also hate this feeling. Have you ever felt this powerless, trapped in a cycle? I just know if I keep this up, I’ll only have regrets in the end...” She told the bosmer, sinking further like the sun they’re watching. “I was going to cast an illusion spell to myself again. But then I thought of everyone and I just stopped. For a second, I was considering dropping everything we all have, all we built together and that disgusts me.”

“You feel chained by despair? I see no wrong in that.” Auri blurts, catching Candle by surprise. “Nobody is strong all the time. But you are not so helpless like your demons want to make you believe. You’re talking to me about this and I think that’s a good start. Beats being miserable inside your room, right?” She smiled.

“Hm. Kaidan’s angry. He has every right to. He was just worried and I...”

“Should talk to him.”

Candle blinked. “What?”

“I mean it. Because he is angry, but not at you. Just as everyone else is frustrated from your actions rather than you.” Auri pokes her arm, then brushes away a lock of hair from Candle’s face. “When you set out together with Karliah, you told us we can go our separate ways and that this home of yours is open for us. Why do you think we stayed?” the bosmer’s voice softened, melting into something much more sincere, soothing. “We like being around each other and being with you, my friend. You made it possible for our lives to cross paths. _ You _ helped us find somewhere to belong to again. We care about you.... I know I do.”

“But Auri, what should I say? How do I know━”

“You won’t. Just go and find out. If he’s stubborn, I’ll kick his ass.” She quipped. “But I doubt that’s necessary. All that brutish, menacing vibe he gives off━there’s more wisdom in him, don’t you think? He’s a seasoned fighter, but under all that tough skin, he’s still a person with a heart. He’s your friend. He wouldn’t be patiently waiting at the gates every day for your return if he wasn’t.”

Candle sizes up the bosmer’s words. Could she really handle this? She’s afraid she’ll strain her newfound friendship with the man if she says the wrong things. A huge part of her wants to hide away and stay in the corner until things die down. Because that’s what she’s good at right? Running and hiding from things she can’t hit with fists or magic. Being a coward was always much, much easier than wearing one’s heart on their sleeves.

“We should head inside my friend. The cold won’t make you feel better.” Auri dusted herself off and helped her friend up.

“Thanks. Erm.. Auri, by the way...”

“Yes?”

“There’s a place I passed by before. Maybe we could... go there next time?”

“Are you asking me out?” She blurts out a laugh and then some more when the usually calm and laid back girl flushes a good few shades.

“I-, no, I mean yes but n-nothing you’re not comfortable with. Wait! That’s not what I-”

“Sure. I’m just pulling your leg. I didn’t realize you’re easily tickled.” She teased and felt her amusement only grow as Candle becomes no different than a turtle awkwardly retreating back to its shell.

* * *

“Kaidan. Can we talk...” Her fragile voice bounced off the dark, empty corridors of the estate. She said the words without being a hundred percent aware if that’s what she wants. _ Talk. _What in oblivion are they gonna talk about? That it was his idea that sparked her curiosity━no way! She’s not gonna go around pointing fingers here. This is all her fault. And yet that approach will only further irritate the swordsman.

“Hey...” her knocks were few and each hit becomes softer; less confident, less determined. The woman leans her head on the door, unbeknownst to her that the person she pleads for a response is just inches away from opening the barrier separating them.

Instead, Kaidan pauses. It’s not that he doesn’t wish to speak to her. Any attempts he’s made to reach her failed. Maybe he’s doing something wrong? He’s not good at this, that one is for sure, so it must be _ him _ messing things up and ending up pushing her away rather than make her feel at ease.

He heard the woman’s footsteps back away and thought for sure she’d given up.

“Remembering hurts. The way it surged back, it felt like it only happened yesterday.” She said, sliding down the wall in front of his room then looked outside. The moons are bright tonight, she noted. It was the same when her lungs were being squeezed out from running directionless all day; away from bloodshed, her people, from her life.

He never knew a few words would twist his heart and make his sour mood vanish in a snap. He held his breath. If he were to talk to her right now, he has zero guarantee of the outcome.

“I'm sorry, I mean it. It was all too terrifying, yes, but screwing my mind again wouldn’t be any better.” She confessed, gulping down the heavy pain that settled in. She knows she’s about to say something stupid one way or another. “I was in my room, eyes closed but I was seeing what happened to our camp like I was _ in _there. How they butchered everyone I knew and.. how I just ran away. I look in the mirror and see someone who woke up without remembering what made them who they are, who then at one point discovered she threw away precious memories from people they held so dear. I just couldn’t make the same mistake twice. _I don't want to forget again._ I was wrong. It’s not... what I want.”

Candle gazed solemnly at the twinkling lights. Maybe her family is up there now if there is such a thing. Are they watching? Are they at peace? Perhaps it’s one of those questions that will never get answers.

...

...

“And what do you want?”

...

...

“To make it stop hurting.”

...

...

The doorknob clicked open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot mood jumps from fluff to grim in one chapter: PARKOUR! (╯ ･ ᗜ ･ )╯︵ ┻━┻
> 
> oof, I hope I did alright this chapter >< It wasn't an attempt at an emotional scene but it kinda slid down there somehow ._. which I hope didn't make the characters very out-of-character? Helpful feedbacks are appreciated if you think I missed something! XD


	54. Rough Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan decides it'll be good to talk about each other's problem. Awkwardness ensues and they both end up confiding in each other in a slightly unconventional way.

**053**

**Rough Night**

  
  


Tiny clinks of metal being tampered and firewood snapping occupied the silence between them. She watched him sit back and tinker with his armor while she was given the freedom to plant herself wherever she decides. The room was much smaller than hers, cobwebs at the corners of his ceiling glistened in the dark, though the walls and floor are much less dusty, possibly tidied just enough to make way for his items. He got rid of the antique cabinet, replaced it with a makeshift weapon rack, and what little amount of clothes he has is piled up in a messy heap by the foot of the bed. Aringoth abandoned many other pieces of furniture. Glad to see they are being put to good use instead of rotting away. She takes her spot on the mattress which Kaidan had pushed to the wall.

She felt the window time for silence will be short and quite uncomfortable so she used the moment to look around. His place smelled of ale and chemicals she can only trace to smithing. And him. The light scent of soap and a fainter trace of lavender they use on washing everyone’s clothes. It smelled of him—_ of course it does, it’s his room. _ She fought the urge to jab herself in the face and was momentarily distraught as to why she’s suddenly blushing and getting weird images in her head.

The dark stains on his plain shirt told a story of how long he has been fixing his gears. Is it a hobby? Something to keep him occupied when away from doing bounties. He did mention quite a few times he operates alone until the prison. The fact that a highly independent person, equipped with skills and efficiency to survive on his own sticks around and suffers her company tells something.

And here she is, letting a friend down faster than Sabjorn lost the meadery.

Other than the occasional rekindling of his fireplace, the two spent the time exchanging thoughts and passing glances at each other. Nothing too deep at first, but eventually the awkwardness lifts, making both secured enough to ease up and talk about her experience.

* * *

The argonian’s command was starting to feel like clockwork under the scorching sun. Every time you’d hit your mark, the word would come out of him. “Again.” Less encouraging each time. More amused with every throw.

“Ugh. You’re just mocking me now.” You made a disgruntled noise, swiping out another knife from the bandolier hanging around your fur armor. Seven-Horns promised to continue training your knife throwing skills but this session is taking turn for the worse. It just feels like you’re making a fool of yourself.

“You’re mocking yourself, my lady. I’m only here to advise. Look at your hits.” He approaches the dummy target and points at several parts of the head except the eye. “I’m only laughing because you always almost got it.”

“_ Almost _ wouldn’t cut it. Bandits here are seen wearing helmets, you know that.”

The cocky lizard swings his sword slowly, flaunting its magnificent blade made of elven minerals. “That is where we come in, numb-head. You don’t have to hoard all the kills to yourself. Next raid, you can just stick your teensy cute knives in their knees or throat and we’ll secure the rest of the work. Sounds good?”

You discarded the knives you’re holding and threw your hands to your hair. “Noooo, Seven, how many times have I told you, it’s not about the kill! Tappy’s gone now so I’m trying to fill in his shoes. We need a ranger as good as him and we’ve enough healers in the camp already.” You insist. Raids in other encampments need scouts and who better do that than rangers? Since the departure of the khajiit, your camp has been having a few struggles getting full supplies from raiding nearby bandits. Everyone insisted you stay inside the camp but you’re not some fragile heiress to a throne. _ ‘I’ve drawn breath for twenty three summers now, for heaven’s sake.’ _ You can fight, heal, hunt, and you can definitely prove you’re skilled enough to be of assistance on scavenging trips to the wilds.

“Ah~ the village idiot doesn’t need to be so grim. _ Ouch! _ Alright, haha, please don’t pick my scales.” Seven fixes his leathers, “It’s your birthday. Why don’t we set the training aside and just do something you like?” The argonian’s mirth failed to pass onto you and quickly notes your deteriorating spirit. “What’s wrong, my lady? Stubbed your toe?”

“What I want…” The frown spreads like wildfire, “What I want is to watch the light shows in the Grand Plaza, strolling the streets in search of treats and baubles crafted from all over Camlorn or Wayrest. I want to see Daggerfall again. I want to see our Mansion again..” the words kept pouring out while you focus on wringing your sleeves. What would happen if you let its weight sink, you wonder. There’ll be no shortage of tears, no doubt.

You drew in a short breath and sighed your final wish, knowing it won’t be granted.

“I want to visit the temple and replace the flowers on Marco’s grave.... Just one last time.”

They tell people to move on but it was always easier to pretend it didn’t happen. And that’s what you’ve regressed to within the years. A weakling who tried to resort to dangerous magic because she can’t find the courage to live with such a cruel reality.

An arm pulls you in and gives you a much needed hug. “Yeah, yeah… I bet you do.” The absence of snark in the argonian thief’s tone offered his consolation. You welcomed the comfort, gaining a little boost in mood as you express your gratitude. 

Everytime the topic steers there, you can’t help but get emotional. But the wounds, regrets, and guilt dwindled down after Marie’s mother restored you from that mind breaking spell. And you’ve grown accustomed to this quaint home you’ve all found. It’s not lavish in any way but the old structure is secured and only one of yours will find their way in the forest here. It’s been about two years of relevant peace already. The cultists may have already lost trail.

Yeah… You can rebuild here.

After dropping you back into the tents, you made a hasty visit to the open kitchen, hoping to help Marie and the others with the food. Her parents must be in the fort, healing those injured in the last raid. _ ‘Tappy said they’d come back for my birthday…’ _The promise hanged, you shook the pout away. It is but a small offense. He’ll surely find a way to make up for it once he returns. Before you could enter the premises, a woman in leather armor greets you with an accent hailing from southern regions. “Lady Rozenn. This one is most pleased to greet you on this day.” the elder khajiit purred. Old Suzanna, one of the house maids that escaped with you. “What brings the little one here?”

“I wanted to help, Nanna. Thought this is the best place to be productive.”

“Ah yes. Of course, you do.” She smiled warmly, “Come along now, little one. We would only get in their way. The tables outside still need preparation if you still wish to aid?” the motherly khajiit reaches out her hand to you as you two strolled under the cool shade of the trees.

You remember people sending you weird looks from having a khajiit fetch you from your academy back in the days. Was it that uncommon to have one serving under your house? Your parents were no pompous businessmen. Yet none dared to smear their reputation—too many soldiers of the Empire owe their lives to them and such. When they were sent to reclaim a camp crawling with slaves, they took in most of those which had nowhere to go. Old Suzanna was one of them—a khajiit sold to slavery at an early age. The city didn’t welcome beastfolks much but your parents welcomed her with open arms. So what if she doesn’t share the same appearance as you? Old Suzanna and everyone under the Emberheart house are family in your eyes.

The tables are just around the corner when Old Suzanna’s ears pick up on something.

“Nanna, something wrong?”

“Shush! Stay here.” She wraps a hand around the hilt of her sword. “This one will check. Do _ not _ follow, my lady.”

* * *

“...even if my parents were there, they’d die just to buy me time to get away.” She said, sitting at the foot of his bed. Her muscles feel unusually stiff but she’s trying to be comfortable—well... as comfortable as she can get.

“Sounds like you carry some grand responsibility to your house. Or they just really love you. You’re an only child, after all.”

“It’s something to be thankful for, right? Right... I don’t feel like that at all. Why kill themselves. They could have fled with me, we could have...” she bit her lip. It was impossibly hard to avoid, honestly. “They’re dead. Marie’s the only one I’ve got and she would also throw herself into fire for my sake.”

“You make it sound like they choose to leave you behind.” Kaidan points, pausing his activity to look at her straight in the eyes.

“I—” What? Her nerves froze at the statement. He just hit the nail and it would be absolutely foolish of her to deny it. Unable to bear the shame his attention is giving her, she turns away. “I do. I don’t want to but I do.” It was wrong, she knows. But this is how she feels. How she always felt. Gaining satisfaction from finally admitting it but also be ridden with guilt for feeling like that. “Go on. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Nothing.

The man stays quiet, mute as a rock, and he’s measuring the honesty in her words; but that was nowhere nearly as shocking as his response.

“I won’t.” Kaidan puts down the bracer and shifts around his chair to face her. “I can’t. ‘Cuz I know how you feel.” He says with a solemn look. “You keep pondering if there must have been a better alternative, and maybe there was. But it’s no use now since they’re gone. All you’re left with is an unrelenting frustration over what could have been.” The woman couldn’t tear her gaze apart from him as he spoke. Sure he was aloof, even cold sometimes, and stupidly skeptical of everything. But she hadn’t expected the man to have harboured such a _ similar _emotion. “We weren’t even given a choice. Worse, we have to suffer the consequences of their absence.” He says, devoid of any emotions aside from resentment.

“You’ve a secluded life, Kaidan... Can I ask—is this Brynjar?”

Kaidan looks on the ground for half a second. Then he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Aye.”

“.... _ Huh. _ Suppose we have more in common than we’d like to share.” She mutters, “How do you live with it?”

“I don’t know... I was angry for years. But I met someone. Gave me some advice. I’m still learning how to apply it after all this time. Most days it’s just easier not to remember.”

“Was Brynjar ever good to you? As a guardian?” She asked out of sheer curiosity. Whenever Kaidan would take his turn sharing some of his experience, it was always about hunts, about his mentor and his teachings. The old nord was a fine teacher, no doubt. But not once did Kaidan mention anything about his relationship with Brynjar. He turned out alright on his own, hence her lack of curiosity. Well, until now.

Hesitant eyes met against her inquisitive ones and it made her lose nerve.

“I.. It’s alright. You don’t have to. Sorry.” She got up, “Also, sorry for acting the way I did ever since I came back. The girls told me you were worried.” She hurriedly added.

There’s only one thing she wants to point out but it feels like her mouth wants to vomit several hundred words all at once. Kaidan’s blank demeanor doesn’t help either and she begins toying with the lace of the belted tunic; twisting and wringing to divert her attention there and not on the knot taking form inside her stomach. “Honestly, I don’t know why you stick around someone like me. All I do is get on your nerves, heh.” And as her attempt at humor miserably fails, she lets her eyes bounce off anywhere but the swordsman’s face. “I-I should...” She flailed in unclear motions and put one foot in front of the other with every intention to leave.

Each step harbored a certain weight that seemed to slow her down. She hated feeling this unnecessarily awkward. Part of her wished their time together didn’t have to end with this numbing silence. So when Kaidan grabbed her wrist before she reached the door, half her brain felt relieved while the other half stopped working.

“Kaidan... I can’t leave if you’re grabbing me.” Her voice was thick and she’s just a breath away from losing her cool. If he starts commenting how loud her heartbeat is, she’s going to burst into a sprint and never leave her room for the rest of the month.

“What if I don’t want you to?”

O dashing and brave champion of Helgen... Saying things like that does not contribute to helping her calm down. She tried to remain so but he’d have to be dense to miss how tensed she is under his warm grasp. 

“This isn’t helping. Let’s go outside.” Determined to the very last breath, he leads her out and she was too appalled to generate a reaction.

* * *

“So, umm...” Candle starts, looking lost in her own yard as she glances around searching for answers as to why she’s standing a few feet opposite of Kaidan.

In the garden.

At night.

Without anything against the cold.

This is starting to stray away from her initial assumption of having a picnic under the moonlight.

“Please tell me you’re planning to have dinner here.”

Kaidan raises his fists and assumes a form she recognizes all too well. “Aye, dinner can wait.” He claimed.

Easy for him to say when he’s not the one having an uncontrollable urge to wolf down a whole banquet. “I’m challenging you to a brawl. Been wanting to meet you in a fair fight for a long time.” The tumble they had when she was training Lucien got him waiting for an opportunity. She’s having a hard time opening up and his mind is just as clouded from their conversation. This seemed like the perfect moment to ask for it.

“No weapons or magic this time. Count this as training but don't even think about holding back.” He instructed. The two of them begin to circle their grassy stage.

“How do we declare the winner?” She asks.

“Trynna avoid getting beat, eh? Smart. Alright, by knockout or yielding—”

“_ I yield. _”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, grow some spine!” He groans aloud and charges at full speed.

Throughout the ordeal, Candle made a lot of protests; saying she doesn’t stand a chance and declared the match to be a predictable one. All that talk and he has yet to land a hit on her. Kaidan did his best to match her agility but the woman pounces away like a damn animal. Not only that, he’s starting to notice she’s keeping on the defensive and letting him wear himself out.

_ ‘If I can just hit her..’ _ He thought. She’s here but she’s not _ with him _. 5 minutes into the match and he pauses. “Make a damn move. The hell are you doing?” he snarls.

“I, wha-? I’m fighting you my own way.” She scoffs. “You know I’m not much for brute strength.”

“Really? Seems to me you’re scared to hit me.”

“Yeah, well...” She scratches her cheeks and laughs nervously. “I’d rather take my chances hitting _ on _you than hit you.”

At that, Kaidan froze solid. “... S’cuse me?”

“Woah, _ alright, _bad joke-,” she dodges, “Seriously, what’s the purpose of this?” The lady assumes a fighting stance once again.

“Ugh. You’ll know if you stop bloody thinking and just let yourself be.”

Let herself be? What does that even—oops. That heavy swing almost hit her. There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere. Every time Kaidan misses, the air grows still and his aggression increases. Suddenly, the man picks up her movements and she knew it was only a matter of seconds before he catches an opening.

_ “Hrrg!” _

Kaidan swats away her arms and gets a kick in that sends her reeling on the ground. Her figure rolled on the grass to ease her landing and secure the recovery, but her hand moved instinctively on the aching at her side. See, this is why she didn’t want to fight. His first hit has her flying away. Of course, she’s not committing herself fully to the action, so there’s that...

“There’s this guy I travelled with for some time. A person with a large bounty...” Out of nowhere, the man started speaking. “Forgot what he’s wanted for but he was a decent one. Even had better manners than m’self.” At first, it confused her but she realized he was telling a story.

Once his opponent regains their footing, Kaidan closes the gap with a flurry of jabs—eating away a chunk of stamina but this way, she’ll be forced to counter his attacks rather than flee. Just as he hoped, the woman parried him. Both had opening and would have landed equally strong hits on one another if not for Candle hesitating in the last second.

The woman staggers away, shaking off the pain her arm caught when she resorted to defend her head. His relentless attacks are getting annoying.

“...He was a strange one. Had honor, wisdom. He was an unlikely friend. I ended up telling him about my past. And Brynjar.” Kaidan told her as they both gathered their breaths. “Lectured me a lot about forgiving. ‘Bout understanding and letting go.”

This time she knew. The thrill of action allows a person to let go of worries—this is where Kaidan’s most comfortable. So when he lunges at her next, she dances with him, spinning away and bringing her heel to his side. He flashes her a smug grin, one that prides over being able to sway her to his game.

“And? Did you learn?” She huffed out.

“No.” He said, “I was a pig-headed man before. Only cared about putting coins in m’pockets so I could get to the border. It wasn’t until I was done handing him over that I began to ponder on his words.”

The two exchanged several hits before Kaidan revealed the next part of his story. “Forgive myself. That’s his final advice. I didn’t know what that meant. I wasn’t the one who caused Brynjar’s death. It was him who chose to leave!” he told her while she recovers. Kaidan wiped the sweat off his brow then grumbled. “Damn old man didn’t care about anything but finding booze. But... I did wonder how much could have changed if I only caught him on time. For nights, something else aside from anger plagued my mind. Regret. Loss. That’s when I realized I _ did _blame myself.”

Kaidan takes his eyes off his opponent and momentarily looks down. “Guess what, that actually made me worse. The angrier I got for what he did, the more resentful I became of m’self. T’was a ride headed to the pits of hell.”

“You got better.” Candle shrugged, hoping to lift him up a bit.

“Hmp. I’m trying. Come on, I’ve talked enough about me. Let’s hear you.” He said gruffly and initiated another round. “Nothing? You’re not afraid to speak your mind, aren’t ya?” he goaded, “You were more eager to declare your—” the swordsman had to stop when she launched a series of kicks.

“I know what I said, Kai... But I don’t hate them. Or their actions.” She said in between breaths. “It was this notion that drove them. Some _ baseless _belief that I...” The word refuses to fall out of her lips.

All her life was meant for it. Everything she worked for was to live up to this, what, _ prophecy _ of being a _ Dragonborn _. She doesn’t even know what that means—all she hoped for was to be as strong as what they tell her she’ll be.

So she can protect them.

See how well that went.

Candle squeezed her eyes open and resumed to take a stance. “They wanted me to live at all costs. I was destined for greatness, they said.” And she started getting more forceful with her attacks. “_ Huff.. _ If only I knew greatness meant I’d have to see them all killed.. _ huff... _I would’ve told the Gods to shove their destiny up their a-...” she stops to catch her breath, and to see Kaidan’s eyes twinkling with sudden amusement, she regains composure. Right. Bet the Gods wouldn’t have loved to hear that. Settling this match for good, they sparred to their fullest until his knee connects to her lower rib, bringing the woman down to her knees.

“_ Khh-.. _ Faith.... is why they were so selflessly stupid, Kaidan.. _ haa.. _Faith in me.” She hitches, collapsing immediately onto the soft grass at the first caress of gust on her back. The rise and fall of her chest matched her accelerated pulse, and she hadn’t realized how much she needed this. The raven haired man lay beside her, showing interest in what she had to say. “... At the bottom of it all, I can never see myself blameless.”

Speaking of it didn’t cause unbearable pain, albeit it created a hollowness inside her. She was nowhere near feeling joy again, but the still, calm ambience around them gave her a tiny essence of peace. Kaidan seemed satisfied with the situation and remained by her side, stargazing as they recuperate.

“You’ve a funny way of blowing off steam.”

“Worked with you, didn’t it?” He gave her an exhausted chuckle.

“Hah. Nothing like a good punch in the face. I’m gonna heal up before I pass out in this mess. You in?”

Kaidan stares at her for a moment. She looked rather serene for a person who just got into a brawl. Or maybe that’s the moons again? In any other case, she didn’t seem upset after their talk. Good, that was the goal. His lips pulled up in a half smirk then he places a hand on top of hers.

The countless stars glittering above stretched on the furthest he can see. It felt like the whole universe was laid before their very eyes. Pair that with specs of light bubbling into his view from Candle’s warm healing and he will surely fall asleep here.

“Exposure.” He mumbled.

The woman gives a short pause before turning to look at him. He didn’t know what made him speak suddenly. Could be this starry trance he’s in... Or just this moment having the best settings he could have hoped for.

“That’s what priests called it anyway. See..” He sat up and stretched, relishing the absence of previous bruises and aches. “Brynjar had fought in the Great War but he lost his faith in the Empire after the Concordant was signed. That, joined by whatever horrors he’d seen in action had scarred something in his mind. Happens all too often.” He explained, fixing his sights on the torchbugs gathering nearby. “So, he tried to fight those demons with drink. I’d grown up seeing it so I didn’t quite notice how he’d worsened over the years.”

Memories came flashing at the back of his mind. Images of an old man teaching a boy everything there is to know about survival. Showing him the way of the blades. A simple father and son travelling across Tamriel. It could have been... But he kept setting up two plates on the table and still there’ll be only one person dining on it. Brynjar would come home smelling like a whole wine cellar and any time he’s sober, he’ll be looking for more while barking at Kaidan to keep training. The old nord taught him how to fight. But after he left him, Kaidan had nothing to fight for.

“One winter night, he went out in search of something stronger; they found his body the next morning lying on the steps to the Temple, frozen solid.”

“Oh. You waited for him, didn’t you?” Candle was finally sitting as well, arms hugging her knees as she gazed upon him.

His mouth pressed into a firm line and he broke contact. “I don’t know if he meant to kill himself...” Heaviness grew as he spoke. “..but it was clear he didn’t care if he did or not.”

“I’m sorry.” It was all she said, and yet it held more gravity than either of them could explain. “I wasn’t sad, I was _ angry _.” Agitation began clawing at him from having to speak of it again. “At him, myself, it was hard to tell back then. All I thought was he could have died fighting, or as an old man surrounded by some family or...”

Once again, the picture of a table forms in his mind; now empty as a younger version of himself stares at it from the doorway, geared up and ready to set out alone. Was there ever a time when they were a family? It’s foolish to hold onto it, seeing as how easily his old man decided he didn’t care about what happens next to Kaidan.

“In any other way that might’ve had some bloody dignity... Instead, he just _ left. _” he finished with renewed bitterness for the memory. “What about you? Remember anything else?” It was pure instinct to divert the question when he doesn’t know how to finish his statement. Though, he didn’t know why he even bothered.

“Me?” She seemed lost. Perhaps the exhaustion and lack of dinner was starting to make her feel drowsy. “Well I didn’t use the Key for much long and thus, most of the events after that and before the prison is still a blur. I don’t think there’s much to salvage from that. I ran away and was able to make by—as a bounty hunter by Nadina’s words, then a thief.” she said.

“Hm.. Now you got me curious. You don’t remember much else aside from that?”

Remember? She remembers fear. Sorrow. The constant running from place to place, slaying what animal she can to put something in her stomach or steal from taverns before she jumps to the next city. She remembers staying vigilant for as long as she could it almost drove her insane. But there was one desire that kept her together. A foolish one, yet it got her hoping to live another day.

“There’s one…” Her voice pipes down into a mellow whisper. “I remember wanting of home… of flowers..”

“... A home of flowers?”

She bursts into giggles that melts into a warm smile. “No, you goose. I mean.. I want to go home. And bring flowers for him.”

“_ ‘Him’ _?”

“Yeah. Whenever I was hopeless, I thought of him. Marco. He loved flowers. I promised I’d bring him flowers regularly... So that he’ll never have wilted ones at his grave.”

This caught Kaidan by surprise. It’s the first time she mentioned this. He searched her feature for anguish or anything of the like but only found genuine peace in her eyes. Out of all the things they’d opened up about tonight, this might be the only death she’d come to terms with. Strange.

“Maybe I’ll tell you one day.” She stood and helped him up. “Tonight, just let me say thank you, Kai... For everything.” She embraced him—like she does with everyone else. But this time, he was unable to ignore the way his heart skipped when she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“I guess it wouldn’t harm to know each other better.” The affirmative smile he has confirms his appreciation of her as well.

They continued to banter over their midnight supper, and even when everyone’s fast asleep, they shared a bottle of wine till the break of dawn. Perhaps next time, they should try other methods first before settling things with fists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Kaidan x MC centric one but I hope you all liked it ^-^! (Who are you people!? I want to thank you all individually! XD) This was done beforehand and I'm in the middle of a block atm. Just a little editing and fingers crossed I'll get past around it soon. ♡(ŐωŐ人)


	55. Busy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucien sends the team an invitation. This isn't really the best way to get you guys back together.

**054**

**Busy Day**

  
  


The early birds’ chirping were easily drowned out by the morning hustle and bustle of the Imperial City’s streets. One man in particular accesses the cobblestoned paths with ease like the back of his hand. Each turn, there’ll be a face or two who would send Lucien a respectful smile. The Flavius name is not widely popular but it commands proper respect to those who have known of it. With a father offering scholarly services from scientists to the Empire’s army and a mother who’s known to have fought beside the Emperor himself during the Great War before retiring, Lucien found it normal stumbling across strangers who would greet him cheerfully.

Of course, he doesn’t always zoom around the streets of his hometown. Not without a bodyguard tailing his tracks but this particular day has been declared an exception.

_ ‘Courier. Gotta catch the couriers!’ _ He hummed in his mind.

It helps infusing a bit of melody. And he missed fretting over trivial stuff like getting his letter sent on time rather than finding a spot to hide next before the enemy catches him. There’s a world of difference between those two, although he admits the latter isn’t so hard. Especially with the help of his friends.

There were ups and downs, _ mostly downs, _ but he didn’t come to Skyrim for a field trip. Thrill and danger are both key components to a good adventure. The company found along the way, too! And after confiding to his mother of his experience in the past five months, she gifted him an empowering lecture. Now he’s more eager to reunite with his friends, confident and inspired to see things in new light.

He runs into the establishment just in time before the carriage departs for the main road. Announced his arrival rather loudly, too. Oh, how can they blame him. He has every reason to get excited!

In order to strengthen good relations during these times of strife, the Imperial Court announced that instead of the annual Summer Ball, a Gala is to take place instead. A joint event hosted between Cyrodiil and Skyrim—to be held at the humble town of Helgen itself! The party will be sponsored by names hailing from Solitude and the Imperial City alike—one of those includes the Flavius family.

Which means he’s going back to Skyrim in about two weeks!

Which means he can see his friends again!

And which also means he has full access to get them invited! Fun!!

Making his way back home all giddy as a child, the hopeful young man picks up a gleeful tune to match his elation.

“Oh, this will be marvellous!”

* * *

Steam rose in the kitchen, filtering the air with delicious scents of the nearly cooked deer stew. But that’s not what attracted a red-haired nord to your doorsteps.

“Alright, lass. I’ve secured all the papers you need to put this place under your name—legally. You’re clear from the jarl for another month but you gotta start finding some way to fund it soon.” Brynjolf slides several rolls of parchment on the table tied neatly with an elegant looking ribbon. “Haha, many thanks for the reminder, _ ser _. I assure you, I’ve done my time with the Guild... It’s not for me.” There’s a subtle hint of melancholy by the end that quickly faded. You crossed the hall of the living room, slinging off the tiny ball of flame on your hand to light up the fireplace. Brynjolf is always nice, albeit persistent to persuade you back to the guild.

“Are you sure? You’re good at this, lass.” There he goes again. The floorboards creak with your every step and you handed the paddle over to Marie, collecting the parchments and bringing it over to the empty dining table.

“This is really everything?”

Brynjolf noted the change of topic and respected the evasion. “Aye. Now all it needs is your signature so Maven can have it sealed by the Jarl. And... Stick to the name, lass.” He cautioned, “We know you encountered.. _ things _ that messed with your memories..” Much like the common nord, your mentor has a distaste for magic. But it is praiseworthy of him to hold back calling your condition something unpleasant when he could’ve easily let it slip. “Just remember that whatever name you put in there will be your identity in every place we’ve got a foothold in.”

“Oh.. Give me a minute.” After exchanging nods, the older thief calls out to their new recruit to take a tour with him in the bee farm.

“A name, huh. Will you be putting your official one?” Rumarin pops around the corner leading to the stairs right after the front door closes. Snoopin’ around again, isn’t he? Ahh~ can’t fault him for wanting to hide from visitors. You’ll do the same too, to be honest.

Your brow creases together, “Official?”

“The real one. Rozenn? It’s... an okay name.” Back in the kitchens, the stirring paddle hit the pot rather loudly; as if they needed a more evident reminder of Marie’s presence within hearing range.

“Pfft. _ ‘Okay’ _? I think every third house back in High Rock has a woman named Rozenn. It’s basic.” You sneered.

Rumarin raises a brow at the tone, unveiling your bullshit with a simple tilt of his head. “You don’t want basic or being called by that name?” It’s amazing how he starts being the perceptive smartass now of all times.

“It doesn’t matter. Besides, I should avoid linking myself to who I was before. I’d be too easy to track down then.” You said, still dodging.

“Point taken, but will you really write _ Candle _ down there? You know that’s a silly name, right?”

“Please,” You rolled your eyes, “one of you could’ve called me _ Ahsi Kret _ right off the bat and I wouldn’t even argue. Might even spin a tale for it if you want.”

“Oh ha-ha. Funny. Shall we also put in here that you’re Barenziah’s immortal-half-human-daughter history has never heard about while we’re at it?”

Nevermind that this is turning into a conversation for halfwits. As long as that damned question is ignored, you’ll count yourself fortunate. There’s no need to announce how your birth name gives you waves and waves of emotions, majority of them not good, or that it brings back memories you’re not ready to look back on yet. Not without feeling largely paralyzed. The only one who speaks that name is Marie and even then, it still affects you to some degree.

Brynjolf came back a few moments later. Didn’t raise a single question about the name you put but asked you to reconsider closing down the honey farm.

“Think about all the investors lining up for that.” He persuaded. The farm would help in paying off taxes, yes, but this is to be your home. Not a business establishment. Aringoth can have his life back, thanks to you talking to Karliah, and now he’ll have his hives back as well. You’re basically a saint.

“No. He can have the money I’ll make selling it off as a sign of good faith. Tell that high elf I won’t stand in the way of his new business. I just want a home.” You stood firm by your decision. This is a chance to restart. You’ll do it right at all costs.

“That strong will would have made you a great Guild Master if only you stayed, lass. Shame Karliah and I wouldn’t see you much from now on. Ah, well.”

You chuckled at the notion. “I can make time for an underground party once you guys officially appoint her.”

Unable to sway you once more, your former mentor-turned-Nightingale bids you a good day to complete the Guild’s parting gift for you.

Not long after the thieves left the estate, the familiar distant creak of the main entrance gets your attention. You excuse yourself from work and readily welcome your returning companions.

Inigo waves gleefully, running ahead of Kaidan to present you his _ unique _way of reporting hunting trips. The khajiit knows just how to make you smile. Inigo has never asked about what happened. You clearly need to give them the details when the time comes—point is, despite his lack of knowledge, he seems to understand your struggle more than anyone else. It shows in the way he comforts you and keeps you grounded.

Each day is a step further with their help, each day gets a bit easier.

“By the way, this came in.” The swordsman tosses a sealed envelope on the counter and makes a snide remark about you neglecting the mail compartment they set up outside. Checking the item, its sturdy and finer qualities are duly noted. Rumarin examines it next, “It’s authentic _ and _ expensive.” He commented in surprise and glanced at you. You opened the envelope, “It’s from Lucien.” you beamed up, “Arrived here a week ago. Crap…” mumbling at your ignorance, you skimmed through his lengthy greetings and read the other parchment as per his request; each word flawlessly slipping out loud ‘til you ran out of voice along lines of:

_ “...shall be held at the town of Helgen. We request the honour of your presence in this year’s…” _

Inigo’s whiskers twitched as he opened his mouth, “What is it, my friend? Did you stumble on a word you cannot pronounce? That is fine, I can read it for y--”

You slammed the lavishly designed parchment on the surface, eyes burning through the damned thing and swallowed hard.

“I… I need to get us carriages.” Your voice held the panic your face wouldn’t show.

The word ‘What?’ echoed within the group.

“...a-and we have to go shopping.”

* * *

It wasn’t the heat making his head ache at this moment. Kaidan thought that would be immensely preferable than the actual source.

“They say Polydor and Eloisa were doomed because of the cruel nature of the word. Remind me to use that excuse if I ever break up with someone—It’s not you, it’s not even me. It’s the cruel nature of the world.”

Kaidan tips the chair back and stretches with a long groan. He takes a small relief from the tiny pops his shoulders made when he rotates it. By Ysmir, what’s a man gotta pay to put some food in his stomach. It’s only been an hour since Candle took Inigo and Marie with her and he’s already had it with Rumarin’s aimless chatter.

“Hey! Nobody asked you to stay with me until I’m finished cooking tonight’s dinner. Which reminds me, there’s this one guy when I was travelling with a different group before..”

Kaidan runs a hand through his hair and rests his head on the table, drowning out the altmer’s voice by repeating the lines _ “Pleasejustshutup...”. _Why did those three have to leave in such a hurry anyway?

_ ‘A gala. Lucien’s got some balls after all, inviting the lot of us there.’ _ He thought. The audacity of that guy. There’s about a million ways it’ll end up in disaster if all of them are present but he suppose Lucien has plans for ‘contingency’. He better.

** _Meanwhile outside the city of Riften…._ **

“My friend, are you sure you don’t want to come back with us?”

You blinked back to Riften’s warm and vibrant reality. City’s noise is gradually dying down, indication of the passing time. You idly gave his words consideration. _ ‘Chill is starting to mix in the breeze... Sky’s turning red..’ _ No. Too late to change decisions.

Piles of formal attire, gorgeous as they are expensive, are wrapped neatly in a few bundles, secured at the back of the newly bought horse. Torchbugs and other night critters began to fade into your hearing as you walked your companions across the grassy field and to the next watchtower. Inigo repeats his query. You shook your head with a smile. Sunset has caught up with you. It would be unwise to dally as the road back to the estate becomes littered with predators come evening.

“I’ll stay at the inn for other preparations. Tell those two to meet me as soon as they can tomorrow. The earlier the better.” You instructed Marie who nodded without question.

Inigo gently rubs the new steed’s delicate mane. He’s ecstatic to introduce it to the ones back home. “Alright. We’ll be sure to take these and this handsome steed home safely. You have my word.”

You gave them quick hugs and quicker farewells. “I’ve no doubt, Inigo. Take care of each other.” You smiled.

The vigilant cautions you the same and the two marched away bantering. You looked on as they completely recede from view.

Time for a walk in the Rift then.

* * *

Riften’s outskirts always felt familiar. Probably due to your affiliation way before you got caught in the prison. Still, unease keeps stirring in your gut whenever you try to visualize yourself in these lands.

You began to walk past the watchtower, earning the attention of a concerned guard. He warns you about the dangers of loitering in unpatrolled areas and you assured the man you won’t stray far. Just far enough to see the lake, you told yourself. The gentle blows of wind feels like a guiding hand, leading you under a huge tree which you felt like you should recognize. It held a nice view of the horizon and the city’s itself.

_ ‘Did I frequent here often?’ _

Sitting on a soft patch and leaning back, weariness started to creep into your body. You should be taking a good nap at home at an hour like this. Instead you’re resting out here. Calming, quiet, and safe from the past month’s horrors. Yet it feels lonely.

Soon, the caress of a treasured friend visits you.

_ “Happy?” _

There he is. Warm and soothing is the presence he brings. Like cold beverage after racing the back alleys of Cyrodiil. Reassuring as the embrace of an old home.

_ “You shouldn’t let your guard down.” _

“Oh, I doubt I’ll be in trouble,” You didn’t move from the spot. Lips quivering with a smile as you finish in a single breath. “especially with you guarding my rear.”

_ “Ahh... This one is afraid he won’t be able to do it anymore.” _

He’s always like this.

_He’s always like this... _

_WHY IS HE ALWAYS LIKE THIS— _

“... Stop being silly, Inigo.” It was more of a plea than a sentence.

Since when did the wind pick up?

_ “Look at me.” _

It’s turning into a deafening howl.

_ “You know who this one is.” _

You can’t stay here.

_ “You need to wake up, Rozenn.” _

The name of an old friend was the first thing you breathed. Eyes fluttering open, your muscles relaxed as a gentle hand shakes you awake. Then it sinks into you that you’re previously alone.

“Oh! Good. Are you hurt anywhere, miss?”

It was a lady argonian. You shook your head and watched her shoulder fall in relief.

“It’s already dark, child. We shouldn’t be here so far from the city. I’ll spend the night there, come. I’ll accompany you.”

There was such a gentleness and empathy in her voice that you couldn’t deny the elderly woman. Slowly, you two walked back to the city gates.

A friendly and unburdened one. She introduces herself as Wander-Lust, a curious name she picked up after the death of her son who used to be an adventurer. To honor him, she now walks in his steps—exploring and travelling and finally seeing the world through his eyes. There wasn’t much grief in the way she talked about him, perhaps she had time to already move past it and in fact, live by the wisdom his son has left for her. Her optimism is inspiring, to say the least. To see things in such a positive light, to fully appreciate what you have before you lose them—these were the things she has imparted you throughout the rest of the evening.

_ You wonder if that’s something you can achieve. _

For the time, she has been a joy to be with. Over dinner she has shared you stories and wonderful memories of her travels and though you could use some time alone, you truly appreciate meeting folks like her. This war stricken country could use more of them. Then again if you were to come across one, you’d warn them from ever stepping foot in this bitter land.

“What’s wrong, child? Don’t you want to get your rest?” The kind stranger spoke softly when the inn began to empty and still you remain.

“No, I’m just having a hard time sleeping lately. This is a pretty normal occurrence for me.” You politely smiled.

Wander-Lust grabs something from her pouch. A small bottle half filled with white crystal-like bits. “For your restless nights. Take a pinch and mix with a drink, but not too much.” She cheerfully reminds as she places it in your hand. “It’s something I learned from khajiit caravans. Careful how you use Moonsugar, child. Ah, but I already know you’re a wise one.” The motherly argonian wishes you a pleasant road ahead and went up to her room.

Curiosity takes the lid off the bottle. The item is foreign, yet your nerves begin to tremble at just the sight of it. Bringing it close, an alarming sense of recognition surges through the second your brain registers the smell.

“What the fuck... No..”

And in that moment, instincts knew exactly what to mix it with.

* * *

The next day came in swiftly. Not as fast as these two people had desired.

“Hm?... Hurry along now, Thistlefoot.” Auri cooed at her antelope. The skittish animal was beginning to slow down as the sun creeps higher in the sky. Kaidan takes notice and stops on his tracks. “We can rest somewhere for a short while. City’s only half an hour away.” He says.

They managed to quickly set up camp, supplied with just enough to allow them a safe lunch away from the main roads. Auri proceeds to accompany Thistlefoot on the stream nearby. The swordsman uses the time to rest his legs. They sat across each other and shared some packed jerky in silence. Everything appears fine.

Both of them oddly feel quite the opposite, though.

“Hey—”

“—So uh,”

They glanced up at each other and turned away just as quickly to avoid adding pile to the already awkward tension. It wasn’t until today that Auri realized this is the first time she’s actually alone with Kaidan. Alone with someone she couldn’t quite read through, and that’s bothering her to a degree. Kaidan on one hand, hasn’t really bothered improving relations with his other companions; something he wanted to improve on now that they’re basically staying in one place.

“So uhh.. Plans?” Kaidan clears his throat, “I mean, you got any plans?”

Auri raises a brow in amusement “...for?” Admittedly, the playful side of her wanted to be more mischievous but refrained due to not knowing how the man would receive it.

“Er... Like Lucien, I guess. He did visit his home, aye? What about you? What do you wanna do now?”

“Stay with you guys. Why even ask?”

Kaidan scratches his cheeks. He doesn’t really know where to take this conversation so he just kept asking questions. “I’m just... curious. You always make snide remarks about mills. Compare places to those in Valenwood. Do you not think about going back?”

“Of course I do! Er-...” a terse silence spread quickly at her suddenness. “I-I mean...” she stammered, still forming a coherent response. “_ Sigh _. Do I need to justify my choice to stay with you people now? You can’t simply leave it at that?”

This startles Kaidan. “No-“ he flails an arm defensively, “Didn’t mean to offend. Was just curious about you.” He muttered out. “I don’t really hear much from you elves. Even after everything, I barely know you.” He confessed, plain and simple.

Auri didn’t know what came over her—has she always been this defensive? Kaidan meant well, but she wasn’t ready to tell someone how she wound up so far from home. _ She doesn’t even know if she can still call that her home. _Whether that will change or not is yet to be determined.

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, “I didn’t mean to take it the wrong way. For now, I don’t plan to leave. I did join in hopes of exploring this land more.. I assume I’ll be staying here for many years.” She then turned towards the main road and put on a cheerful smile. “Who better I explore it than with my very reliable friends, right?”

The swordsman chuckled before drinking, “Aye. But I wouldn’t be so sure about the ‘reliable’ part. Seems to me you’re the one most fitting of that description.”

“You’re complimenting me, huh?” A playful smirk painted her face that grew into laughter when the red eyed man choked on his drink. She started cleaning up and walked over towards Thistlefoot. “I’m gonna be honest with you, swordsman. I didn’t expect you to have a lighter side.”

“Oi. I can be nice when I want to. Just don’t expect me to go prancing about like Rumarin or Inigo.” Kaidan teases back as they leave for the road.

The wood elf takes her time studying Kaidan with her curious gaze. “No. I don’t think so, too. But she definitely rubbed off on you.” she grins at the man who became increasingly flustered at her comments.

“Wha-? Bold of you to speak o’that. D’you see how you look now? She definitely rubbed off on you more.”

Auri’s hearty laugh echoed in their surroundings, “And that’s a bad thing? Come on now, big guy. Keep the compliments coming, I don’t mind.”

Kaidan’s grunts of exasperation would only be met with more giggling later on. At least he can say he made some progress making friends. _ Making friends. _BAH! Brynjar is laughing his arse in Sovngarde now.

This is Candle’s fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You. Yeah, you reader. Still here, huh? You're a god. 👁👄👁
> 
> Ik I've been away for a bit. I just really needed to wait until my allergies pass but thank you for always sticking around!! 🤣 I try to get something done, I really do xD
> 
> PS. Wander-Lust is from 3DNPC :D


	56. Busy Day II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a day of shopping to improve bonds with friends.

**055**

**Busy day II**

“Are you done?” Marie called out from outside the room. Her mistress has tasked her with helping the blue khajiit and high elf into their attires and has been working hard after consuming an early lunch. Half of the house might be away from the estate but she has been tirelessly moving about to aid the two, bringing them the right pair of items and fitting them nicely into it and such. “Well how is it? Does it fit? Any adjustments?” She threw inquiries without pressure, quill and journal in hand as she stood ready and waiting for responses.

Rumarin groaning was the first answer. A defeated sigh was his next. “Do remind me why we’re being stuffed inside all of these?” He breathlessly whimpered, stepping out. The altmer wore an extravagant looking raiment, printed with lavish swirling patterns from his collar down the elegant embroideries that decorated the seams and hems. A thick, fine leather was used for his coat which has been tinted in shades of dark purple to complete his cream toned formal wear and pants. It’s buttons met just above the waistline, bringing an emphasis on the elf’s slender form, unlike those baggy fake college robes that makes his shorter height even more obvious.

Lyanna set her things aside and brought out a black silk fabric from the stash she placed in front of his room. “Because…” Carefully and by his permission, she coils it around his neck, tying the short scarf loose but fit enough to hold his collar up. “Five days from now on, we are to attend a Summer Gala in Helgen, jointly held by the noble houses from Cyrodiil and Skyrim’s capital cities.” She explains as she adjusts his suit.

“Please don’t repeat what the letter said, you know I have the memory capacity of a skeever.”

“Mister Lucien has invited us for a Ball. We have two days or less to prepare if we are to arrive in Helgen on time.” The vigilant says in a monotonous voice.

“You did not just call our little scholar ‘Mister’ with a straight face.”

“He will be, in a way, our host and our better. Many nobles will be there, we should practice proper addressing.”

Rumarin didn’t hold back rolling his eyes. “Gosh, he could have just arranged a secret buffet for us if he wanted to party so bad. How do you people even find yourselves comfortable there?”

The brunette waved him off with a smile. “In majority of High Rock, there were no shortages of balls and galas. Miss Candle finds it obnoxious if you ask her but it was a necessity to any house of import to keep up appearances. The heavier weight your house name carries, the more invitations you get flooded with.” she told him as they made their way down to see Inigo’s status.

It was true. The mere unexcused absence of one’s presence is information itself. Did they ignore the host? A public announcement that there’s still bad blood? Or did they go and never made it to the party? These rumors are easily formed even during the event and are pretty much concluded in several colorful versions on the next day.

“Y’know, it’s amazing how the couriers still have a job there, given how fast people spread gossip. Wouldn’t be surprised if the bards know more than the barkeeps.” The altmer scratches his neck. It was starting to get itchy from the foreign sensation. “I feel like choking.”

“Good. Keep getting used to it. It would be a problem if you fell unconscious at the actual party.” Lyanna teased under her cool expression and lowered lids. The high elf would let this pass with just another roll of his eyes. He keeps forgetting Lyanna spent her life beside Candle. Wow, just imagine a house full of cheeky smartasses. He shudders at the thought.

Not a minute later, Inigo comes out of his room—marching forward all stiff and awkward like a possessed rack of coat. The cat’s flicking tail is the only thing that grants him recognition. No, it’s probably the collar suffocating the elf that’s making him see things.

“Uhh.. I don’t know if this looks good enough?”

“Oh my! Inigo. You look… _ dashing. _”

Wait. Did Rumarin hear the vigilant swoon? _ Swoon? _ What's the big deal anyway? Yes, he can see the yellow vest and pearl white tunic tucked neatly in his stark black pants, matched with a golden ornate belt and shoes that goes perfectly with the overcoat he's holding in his arm. Hmm, yeah maybe there's an appeal to it. Maybe.

"The simplicity certainly brings out the uniqueness of his color, don't you agree? I quite like it." Lyanna was more than happy to point out the obvious. Of course he's not jealous! And he's certainly not pouting. "Please stop pouting, Rumarin. You look just as handsome." Ahh well if she puts it like that, how can he complain??

The vigilant readily handed them some selection of simple accessories to match their outfit, all while asking their blue friend how much he knows about formal events.

"Not a lot. Fergus and I have been hired to guard several balls before but my knowledge of them only goes as far as to what party goers usually wear. If you are asking me if I know how to act in one er.. I'm afraid the answer is no." Inigo sheepishly scratches his furry chin.

Lyanna takes note. "I see. At least you knowing proper dress codes saves us time. Alright men," she leans on the counter and flips a page on her journal, scribbling something, and no joke but Rumarin swears he saw her smirk for a second there. "We're going to prepare for that party."

Of all the times she'd spoken to them, this was one of the rare moments where there's oozing excitement in her voice. And something just tells them this isn't going to be very enjoyable.

* * *

"We're here. Now what." Kaidan held the leash to Thistlefoot as they entered the bustling Market. Auri urged him to follow close as she navigated the map. Their Nightingale companion has requested the two of them to accompany her today. The matter is _ 'urgent', _that's what Lyanna told them anyway. Candle was indeed invited by Lucien to attend that pompous event of theirs in Helgen, but he doesn't quite understand what business she has left here when Inigo went back home yesterday with a new steed carrying bundles of what he knew was formal wear. Or is that not the case…

"We're here." Even the life in his tiny friend's voice seemed to fade in the wind.

An old, oak door bearing the common decoratives for a tailor shop stood in front of them. Like two lost souls, they gulped and shared a look as if they're about to step into the jaws of a serpent. Kaidan whistles to the stableman outside the flowery establishment to look after the antelope.

"Sure she's here, Auri?"

"Let's find out…?"

It was a spacious room, floral decor and draperies coiling on the posts and carpeted floors that complimented the brightly painted interior. The sight of mannequins lined up against the candlelit walls greeted them. Some empty but most dressed in varieties of finer clothing ranging from luxurious to _ ridiculous _. This tailor shop caters to formal wear! This couldn't possibly be. He knows Candle would only wait for them in this place if Lucien also—

"_ Phew! _ Lucky I checked the map on time.." There's that sense of relief from hearing the breton's voice again, "Hope you didn't mind that I waited here. I knew you'd find me anyway. Shall we get started?" and there's the bag of discomfort exploding on their faces when she finishes her sentence.

Kaidan has yet to register the way those stewards are looking at them and the looming scents of leathers when Auri beats him to it.

"H-Hey, why are we here?" She whispers. Candle's initial response was to tilt her head, unsure whether she's being made fun of. Then she blinks at him next. "I thought you guys knew about the party?"

"We know _ you _ are invited to the party." He retorted.

"What kind of expectation is that? I thought we discussed this yesterday. Did you just assume you guys are gonna stand _ outside _while the event is happening?" Candle immediately snaps in the gentlest way. She's almost laughing at them now.

He shrugged. "It's Helgen. Whole town's got enough space for those who wanna stay out of the gathering."

"Yes and you definitely believed you're just gonna wait for us in one of their taverns, you're open as a book." she giggled and grabbed them by the arm. “M-..Lyanna can assist the others. You two, however, I need to get fitted and be comfortable.”

Auri made a cute protest at this. Cute. Cute…? _ 'Well, it's not everyday we see her squirm. Funny change for one.' _ He smirked to himself as he eyed the bosmer with renewed fondness. Didn’t let her catch him though, or it’s fangs _ and _snark for him.

Candle led their little tour, occasionally eyeing a set or material and then shooting one of them a glance sharp as a sword. The small banters were mostly exchanged between him and the bosmer. She must be just as surprised to see this side of their friend.

"Oh! Spidersilk… Auri, they've got spidersilk!" He might've laughed at the way Candle's eyes became saucers when she spotted the glistening material rolled and tucked behind a display rack, but he’s too caught up watching her be so youthful. She pulled the bosmer to her side and chirped, "You mentioned wanting to check out one back in Solitude, right?" At this point, Candle's just squealing her words out on the flustered wood elf.

_ 'Shor's bones, she's really into this.' _

Kaidan wasn't quite sure whether he should be amused but this was not what he prepared for when she called them here. They hadn’t encountered trouble in the longest of time, maybe they truly deserve this kind of leisure.

It started by just trying hats on, then picking up shoes to match with different coats, till they were swiping scarves and ribbons to fit in front of the mirror. Now they’re up on the second floor and she’s pushing him inside a fitting room with about a thousand finery for him to try on.

“Alright. _ Alright. _ Wait here. Bloody hell.” He sounded annoyed but his face was saying otherwise. Candle looks unburdened… happy, actually. And that fills him with satisfaction as well.

* * *

“This has to be a one time thing.” Auri giggles, stepping out on the balcony and you follow; stifling your joy but, alas, _ failing. _ “The shopping or the party?” Auri’s fangs started showing as the playful banter kept flowing. “Alright, I don’t mind shopping as long as we bring Inigo next time.”

An odd sense of dread pierces you the instant she says the khajiit’s name.

“Hm? What’s the matter?” She asks upon taking notice of how you faltered. You wave it off, picking up from where you left off.

“Right. Next time. So uh…” You propped on the rails to level with her. “No troubles on the way here? I worried a bit. Oh! Kaidan didn’t make you uncomfortable with copious amounts of brooding or something?”

The bosmer’s smile widens even more, nearly bringing her to tears “No! Nothing like that~ I kind of think I like him now. You’re right about the ‘copious brooding’ but he doesn’t put me off that much like before.” she answered with sincerity.

“Oooohh. Changed your mind, did ya? Do tell~”

“Haha! Stop,” There’s always something so sparklingly melodic in her voice that works magic for your mood, “It’s kind of a secret between us.” she added teasingly.

Faking a gasp gets the bosmer in stitches. “Keeping secrets now, the gall!” you gripped her wrists tightly and creased your brows to such an extent that made you feel like an ox.

“Y’ffre, not _ that _ look!” She squeals, knees buckling as she struggles to compose herself. Auri wriggles her hands free to intertwine with yours. “ _ Hoo _... Let me catch my breath, you monster.” Mischief told you not to show mercy but the liveliest amber eyes just commanded you to restrain yourself. You conceded; merely admiring her sunset coloured curls flow freely as the peals of laughter you’re receiving right now.

“You didn’t have to go out your way to tell me how powerful I am but okay.” Series of soft punches were sent your way and you held onto them with tenderness.

“Knock it off, smug face. Or I’m gonna have to bite you to keep myself from cackling.” she giggles behind flushed cheeks and you leaned in,

“Tempting.”

“_Mhmm._”

Coy smiles and impish looks that’re up to no good suddenly swerves the moment into something more heated until Kaidan emerges from the room to ask for help;

“Oi. You two don’t actually expect me to pick on my own—ugh.” The swordsman grumbles out a curse, having difficulty moving in the grey finery.

Auri quickly untangles your fingers and distances herself, “I..” she swipes a lock of hair away but refused to meet your eyes. “I’ll help him.”

A curt smile buries everything that happened in the past minute. Yet no amount of indifference will deny the existence of butterflies swarming in your stomach right now.

After switching in and out of coats, Kaidan finally surrenders. “Just wanna bloody breathe again.” he scornfully remarked. Duly noting this rare moment, Auri takes the honor of being the next one to suffocate in a pile of dresses fit for the gala.

“She looks like a damn cupcake.” Kaidan stifled his amusement after the tiny wood elf went back to refit another. With luck, the balcony is far enough to hide the noise.

“I’m afraid every woman in a dress will look much, _ much _more bloated than that in the real party.” Candle sniggers, walking back out after helping Auri in her laces. “But that’s what I’m here for. I certainly won’t let anyone belittle you guys in front of Lucien.” she told him. She’s talking like they’re going to a battle. That…… actually makes him a bit concerned. “Where did you learn to wear one, by the way?”

Kaidan jolts at the question. “I.. what?”

“You never asked for help once. I know women’s fineries are complicated but so is men’s formal wear.” She informed him with a meek smile. Kaidan breaks into a grin. “Alright you got me. Don’t laugh, but I’ve been into several social parties before.”

“The Champion of Helgen, secretly a socialite. Hmm—_ ow. _ ” Candle yelps when a heavy hand landed on her head. “NOT like that.” He cuts her off. He then had to spend the next two minutes explaining that he only got into those because of a lass he used to be sweet on. “Er.. That’s enough about me. Happy now? _ By Shor... _” Kaidan snarkily responded, “What about you? How’d you know about men’s outfits?” blurting it out all of a sudden felt wrong. Did she have a lover or did she wear one herself before? Wait, none of those sounded good to him—

“I used to help Ma-... Lyanna’s brother.” Candle fidgets before crossing her arms uncomfortably.

“Marco?”  
She looks away and nods.

Only eight seconds passed but that one felt like it stretched for eternity.

“Say did he escape with you…? This Marco, I mean.” The swordsman finally mustered the courage. Candle froze in place. Slowly, she slants her head to glance at him and spoke softly. “Do you really want to know?” “If you trust me with it.” For the moment, he thought she’d turned him down when she walked out of their cozy, little space.

_ “He didn’t.” _

Kaidan nearly jumped from his place when she appeared again without even making a noise. Does she gotta do that every single time??

“Marco… was the first to die.” The tremble in her voice was perfectly hidden from the city’s noise, but it was there to those who are paying attention. “I know he will never come back. I try to remember him fondly. The happy times.. His kindness.. All those lessons I learned too late.” Candle bit her lip. “His sister and I wouldn’t dare talk about him. The baggage is still too heavy. But I.. I’m trying to move on. He wouldn’t want us to be like this. And I don’t want to fail him.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Him taking in her words and her just waiting for a reaction. “You speak highly of him.” Kaidan points out. “Were you fond of him?”

“I am.” she confessed.

And never has he seen Candle this remorseful.

“Too much, I’m afraid.”

Just then, Auri beckons for her, prompting their Nightingale to excuse herself. The bosmer showed more cooperation and patience but like Kaidan, the difficulty in finding the best outfit rooted from their stature—Auri lacked height while Kaidan had too much build. Now they see why it was them Candle had to drag in the city. Still, with all these things to occupy them, he finds himself recalling the exchange they just had a while ago.

“Hey. I just noticed you haven’t mentioned _ your _ dress yet.” Auri points a finger at the breton currently examining a silk scarf. “That’s because I don’t have one.” She shrugged. Auri and Kaidan exchanged looks and immediately came up with a solution. “How about you go in there for a change.” Auri flatly demands.

“Wha—are you saying I try out one?”

“That’d be interesting.” Kaidan snorts. Soon the two convince their friend to try at least a simple ball gown. Though _ ‘simple’ _ is still inappropriate for a hundred layered dress adorned with a god awful amount of beads and tinted in the brightest shades of orange—but that's the one she deemed _ okay _ enough to try. He’ll probably hurt his eyes just looking at its general direction under the sun.

Auri wears the happiest smile, looking at her friend in such a lavish gown that fitted her so much. “Well…? I think it suits you!” She giggled, finishing the laces on Candle’s back.

“Y-yeah.. I’m not so sure.” The gown, though still layered in the usual northern fashion, captures Candle’s more feminine side. The loose sleeves would prove useful as well to hide knives... 

“See?” The bosmer chirped happily as she led her to the mirror. “You like this color, yes? I know you favor these shades-.. My friend…?” Auri’s voice reached every corner of the room except her friend’s hearing.

Indeed, you _ are _ in front of the mirror. But whatever you’re seeing, it definitely isn’t a woman standing in a gorgeous finery. The lass looked so happy in her gown. _ You _ used to look so happy in a gown. A storm of voice surfaces in your mind. Faded and old. Loud and hazy. Speaking all at once.

_ “Lady Rozenn! You look as wonderful as this evening.” _

_ “You look spectacular lady Emberheart!” _

_ “Are you their daughter? Oh I knew you would be a sight to behold.” _

_ “Pleasure meeting you, my lady. You look magnificent.” _

_ “Enjoying the evening, lady Rozenn?” _

_ “As kind and well mannered as her parents. What a blessing!” _

_ “The Divines smile upon them indeed. They have everything!” _

…

…

…

I _had_ everything.

“I…”

Suddenly, _ uncontrollably, _ your eyes welled up. You brought a hand to swipe away the incoming tears and Auri was there to witness you crumble, much to your mortification. How stupidly fragile are you? Didn’t you swear not to think about these things and keep looking forward? Then why would you... 

Why indeed…

* * *

Kaidan waited patiently when he noticed the stillness back inside. Hearing the room open, he spun around ready to cringe or come up with a witty remark but to his surprise, Candle comes out with her leather garb. She didn’t even glanced at him and headed back to the first floor. He approaches the bosmer.

“What happened?”

Auri slightly shakes her head. “Don’t ask. Come, let’s get what we came here for. The stewards are growing more disdainful.”

It took them about another hour and a half of looking stupid just getting the right fabrics and sizes that it feels like even the mannequins are judging them now. He can't really deny these people their right to be disgusted or intimidated or both. Adventurers like 'em who roll on dirt and smell of nothing but blood and liquor and drag their filthy weapons everywhere aren't usually seen shopping for fancy outfits, much less expected to be in one.

If he didn't know any better, the seamstresses who fitted them only held their tongues 'cuz of Candle's undisguised threat at the beginning. Oh yes, he saw the breton whispering to them, a friendly smile on her face but her words were pure venom.

"How the bloody hell do we afford all of these anyway. I thought we already exhausted Lyanna’s last payment?” Kaidan felt unusually vexed from the persisting silence between them three so he decided to go out his way and make a noise.

“What we lack in finances, we make up for.... Let’s say _ connections _.” Candle pulls her hood up before exiting the establishment.

“I think your little chat earlier was unnecessary?" Kaidan whispers to her as they make their way out.

"Uh-uh… _ I _think it's sad they have to be intimidated into showing some common decency." She replied coldly.

And here he thought they were having a blast. No, she has a point, but she’s emitting some really unfriendly aura for a while now. _ 'I know these people are obnoxious but what happened to her?' _ Kaidan could only send the bosmer a concerned look because she wouldn’t sing about it no matter what. Whatever it was, it’s between them women. But part of him dreaded it had something to do with his question about Marco.

Candle would then implore the three of them to stay in the city until the tailor shop finishes their outfits. Several times a day, a crow would come with a letter and Candle would write back to it. The message was between her and the vigilant, no doubt. But the crow. It had freakishly bright, glowing eyes.

_ Bah! Conjurers. _

** Two days later, Bee and Barb, Riften… **

Kaidan wakes up to someone knocking on his door. Knowing what it’s about, he answers in an instant. He walks over the door, still rubbing his eyes, and greets a fully geared up Candle.

“Hope you slept well?” She smiles warmly.

Oh. Good, she’s got her spirits back.

“Could use some more but yeah.”

Tiny giggles resounded on their floor. “You shouldn’t have drank so much.” They hear the bosmer chime in from another room.

Kaidan yawns one more time and flashes a smirk at Candle.

“Aye. Ready to crash the party?”

* * *

**THANK YOU FOR 200 KUDOS GUYS (ps check this [link](https://kittyplaysandcries.tumblr.com/post/625099289604079616/biggest-thank-you-for-spark-from-the-potatoest) out for a full thank you post and bc i also have separate pics of them there haha)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys.... I love you all so much. 🥺


	57. Favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short time before the Gala, our merry band of travelers must prepare for a predicament they're not ready enough for. Whether it is an unknown threat or wearing suits and gowns, who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, friendly tips, ramblings very much appreciated! (pls excuse the big brain responses. I usually visit this site on very late hours and is very high from sleep deprivation)

**056**

**Favors**

  
  


Her heart crushed at the sight of her friend struggling. Auri wraps an arm around her shoulder in an attempt to offer comfort. “Hey… Hey, I’m here.” She whispers. The breton nods, trying to even out her breathing.

“I just… I just need a sec.”

“Candle-”

“I’m fine.” she cuts in, begging to let her be. “_ I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine... _” it was to assure Auri. She wanted it to sound like that. It did. But Auri knew. To make herself blind--make herself believe, that mantra was important for the moment.

Auri’s seen it too many times. Heard and done it too many times.

On the springs, by the rivers. Back when she just got out of Valenwood. Back whenever her reflection would stare at her with cold judging eyes.

Silently, she reached for her friend’s hand. Candle didn’t flinch nor react.

It’s okay.

Breathe.

_ We’ll be okay. _

* * *

"You're kidding." Rumarin threw a pebble that skipped two times before ripping through the depths of lake Honrich.

"You either stick with it or perhaps you'd be more comfortable with a much more formal—"

The high elf shushes his companion with a lifted finger. "Listen. I am to address people as ‘My lord, lady’ and ‘Sir or ma’am’, are you nuts?” Even under the shade of the tree, he’s clearly flustered. “I don’t do that. I’m not _ cut out _for that. You guys handle the talking!" he gestured widely and dramatically. “I can dress the part, but I’ll be way, way, waaay back behind the tables and bars so you better be in vicinity to save me.”

Lyanna kept a blank face as she lowered her head.

“Did you just—_ gasp! _You just laughed! I saw your shoulders shake!” He rambled off at the brown haired breton who seems to only enjoy his disconcerted state more and more.

“Oi! What’re you still loitering about? Get your ass in the carriage!” A passing mountain of a swordsman barks at them from the bridge. Kaidan’s hauling so much outfit behind him, he can definitely ditch on them and still have enough to last a fortnight.

_ "MOVE IT!" _

Right. Carriage. Double time. He and the vigilant continued their little quarrel on the way. Lyanna's nowhere near Candle's level of rowdiness, yet she's making his head spin just the same. Are bretons really _ this _ cheeky? Oh, he bet devils lie behind those sophisticated bullshit they got going. Where else would these two get their wickedness.

And while the high elf and vigilant are in a heated debate, Auri and Inigo’s in charge of handling the steeds far on the other side of their estate. Since all of them are to attend the event a few days from now without a steward to look after Goldenglow, they have to bring their mounts, too. The bosmer sends a glance over the estate which caughts Inigo’s attention, because that’s the fifth time she did it in just under a minute.

“Uh, you know she’ll come out soon. Let’s focus on our friends _ here _first then we can assist her back there.” Inigo suggested, double checking the reins.

“I’m sorry Inigo. Just a bit worried.” she muttered, cooing at Thistlefoot to follow them out.

Once gathered outside, they ran a quick inventory for everything they might need. None of them are allowed in once Candle steps out of the property.

“Well!?” Candle yells from the estate, waving around.

The others waved back affirmatively, and she nods. She stands in front of the house and makes a series of hand movements they failed to follow after the first few gestures. A translucent light enveloped the two-storey building, crawling into every plot of land and faded after the Nightingale fled to the main entrance. She repeats the same gestures and the same magic seeps into the whole bridge.

“You sure this ward’s effective?” Kaidan’s skepticism reflected in his tone.

“It’s commonly used in our hometown at least. Plus this road’s patrolled and we’ve still got connections to the Guild.” Lyanna filled him in. “Whoever deems this place worth raiding, well.. They better bring tons of shock resistance.” The vigilant cloaks herself in a similar kind of spell and hovers a hand on the gate’s surface. Stems of electricity branches in and wraps her arm, quickly surging its way to the ground.

“Alright, sis, that’s enough testing. Don’t wanna wear out the magic until someone can get back here.” Candle whistles at the company to hop on aboard.

* * *

While not a necessity, it helps to get a private carriage on the way to a party. Patrols will prioritize escorting the ride safely, servants can identify a visitor from afar, helping them prepare for an arrival and in return, helping _ guests _get accomodated right away.

"Really? Well here's hoping they're not averse to helping dear Thistlefoot." Auri petted the chestnut furred antelope that's carrying their cart. Three days to Helgen, two if the roads are kind. And it helps that they got three horses, two of which came with the carriages, to take them quicker to the town.

"Forgive my wonderful ignorance, but who will drive these things back after the gala?" Rumarin called the people on the coachman's seat. Kaidan casts the bosmer beside him a glance, whistling on the carriage in front of them when nobody answers.

"Hire someone or favor for a favor. It's that easy." Candle heeded the call and peeked behind their cart. "We might need you. For a fight or to take the reins, your pick. So get some rest, _ toad lips. _" She warned and the nickname elicited a lively trade of name calling from between the two carriages which would've seen no end if it weren't for Thistlefoot getting spooked out.

While Marie had bounced off suggestions on where to stop next, Candle tried to clear her mind and just relax with Inigo. She observed as he slid open the window box for some air. He makes some idle comments about enjoying the surroundings but she was occupied studying his posture, expecting it to match the ones she had in mind_ —wait, who is it even she's comparing him to? _ It was… unusual. She felt _ weird _ around him ever since that evening with the argonian.

"My friend, are you alright? Your nose is bleeding." He quickly grabs a napkin from the sack for his best friend.

Oh. That must be it. "Just lightheaded, Inigo. Thank you." She let him clean her up. Yes, of course. The toll of magic can bring slight confusions.

"Can't blame you. That looked like a giant spell. Eh… No wonder you avoided using magic when we were on the job!" Despite the energetic smile Inigo sported, his words just now came as a surprise. When she asked what he meant, the blue cat told her she never used magic on their travels and the Dupan job. He must be mistaken. The girl might still be suffering from memory loss but she knows for a certain how reliant she is on magic. She wouldn’t just refrain from using it especially in fights.

Giving in to the prickling agitation inside, she gave him a question in return. “Inigo…” She spoke barely above a whisper. “I found the ingredient for the tea.”

“The wh-.. _ Oh. _Yes, good. I knew it’ll come to you.” He laughed. “I suppose we won’t have to pick every flower on the road now—”

“It was moonsugar. The ingredient is.. Moonsugar.”

Inigo’s eyes widened in perplexion. “Are you sure?? That can’t be it.”

“But moonsugar is used in skooma, right? Don’t you think you might have..?”  
“No, my friend.” Heaviness was weighing in his tone. “I used skooma but definitely not in the form of mixing it in my drink. This, I know.” he peered into her eyes for a few seconds before apologizing. “I’m sorry. We’ll find that ingredient, alright?” he assured her. Yet guilt festered in his heart. He knew it wasn’t him. He never knew the recipe.

She pulled the corners of her lips for a tight smile. Suddenly, it feels like her head weighed more than a Standing Stone and her guts are twisting inside out. “No.. It’s fine. You’re right, I must be mistaking things.” She nodded curtly, unable to come up with more words as an invisible lump began to form in her throat. The blue khajiit offered his shoulder and the twisting worsened. But she didn’t want to do this now. She must be just tired. Resting her head gently on his leather pauldrons, she dismissed all suspicious ideas looming at the back of her mind. This is Inigo, her best friend. Whatever venomous lies her mind is telling her, she’ll continue to reject them. What she has with him is real and he will say the same.

He will.

Because he is the person she remembers, right?

* * *

_ "Go on! Jump!"_

_ "No! I'm not leaving you—" _

_ "BASTARDS!" _

_ Kaidan's curses echoed throughout the forest. His arrows ran out long ago and he was nowhere near equipped enough to hike through mountains this high. But his contracts are there. Beyond these woods and bloody bushes that's giving his skin an irritating itch. For what gods forsaken reason they decided to climb the hillside knowing it ends with a cliff, he couldn't care less. Those two have enough coin on their heads to afford him a safe passage to Cyrodiil's borders. Imagine the horror and surprise when he finally catches up to them only to see the hooded bastard push half his pay off the edge. _

_ "The bloody fuck did you do?!" _

_ The criminal didn't answer. But he turns around and lifts his arms in surrender. Shit. He was too late. Guess he'll just have to work for that other half of the goal then. _

  
  


"Seat not to your liking, big guy?" Auri chuckled dryly, snapping Kaidan out of his thoughts. He simply shook his head. "You know that's gonna work with me," the bosmer playfully responded, "Been staring daggers at them for a while." The bosmer nods towards the two best friends on the front carriage. "You can have your moment with her later, don't worry." She teases.

Kaidan exhales noisily through the nose. "That's not it."

Auri gives him one of those curious head tilts which he did not wish to fall for today. "It's nothing, Auri."

"So says you~" his tiny friend hums, bringing her attention back to the road, "Try not to let it eat away at you."

* * *

"Oof. This sack of flour is rather.. _ heavy. _" Lucien puffed out, fixing his arms around a large powdery sack as he walked the underground halls of Helgen's barracks. Amazing how the building that houses military men can be transformed into a dazzling ballroom. It almost feels like Cyrodiil here.

His friends are coming from quite a trip and he wanted to welcome them with a good meal. Oh, and also a delightful treat that he’ll make for them—even if it means burning the same recipe on the twentieth time. Er, hopefully it won’t take him that many tries.

“...We can’t just enlist the help of strangers.”

“I know, I know. But listen…”

People in the kitchen? It’s already past supper; nobody should be lingering at this hour. Of course, that reminds him he should hurry up because he can’t sneak around too much. _ ‘Gonna have to make an excuse to those people reeeaaally quick.’ _Lucien was no eavesdropper. There’s enough gossip in the Imperial City without him adding to the bunch. So he recites his alibi in his head as he closes in, but the voices grew too familiar for his liking.

“...now should the enforcers fail to apprehend them on time, we may suffer casualties. We have people of nobility here, Lyra. It will reflect poorly on the ev—”

“I _ know _ what consequences it will bring, Davidicus.” Lyra cut him off “And I’m telling you, this plan of yours isn’t concrete enough.”

“Father?”

The couple whipped their heads toward the kitchen door. Lucien fumbled with the knob before getting it open and met his parents’ gazes with confusion. “Why are you two here? Mother, is something wrong with security?”

“No,” Lyra responded too quickly, stealing Davidicus’ chance to present his idea. “No, we were just discussing something that needs… discretion. Our guests are important, remember?” The golden haired imperial walks over the counters and helps her son with the flour. “What are _ you _ doing out here sneaking this late anyway?” She taps the little scholar’s nose with a smile.

The three had a short discussion for the event’s preparation. After Lucien sheepishly admits to practicing some baking skills, they bid him a good night’s rest.

“We can arrange for an assistant if you want.” Father told him, sharing a tiny smile with Lyra. “Won’t be necessary, father. Thanks a lot, though.” Lucien quirkily replies and finally leaves.

“Dear, have someone fetch you a new tunic.”

“Yes, mom.”

“And go drink some water!”

“Yes, mom.”

With their son’s absence, Lyra heaves out in relief and snuffs out one of the scones to dim the lights again.

“This was a bad time to tell me about this.”

Davidicus brushes his beard, intensely re-reading the note he took out after Lucien left. “We may not have a choice and we’re running out of time. It may be the safest course of action.”

A heavy, frustrated sigh fills the room. “We _ will _ talk about this. Until we’ve drawn out all other options, our son’s friends will stay out of this.” Lyra whispers sharply.

“Heaven knows, that's also what I want—I am simply being realistic here. Come now, no need to argue. You make a fair point. We shall see to it, I promise.” the husband swore to his wife.

He merely gave the darker end of the hallway a passing glance as they retire for the night.

...

Trembling hands held the boots close to him as he pressed his back on the stone wall. A hard gulp and he still wasn’t able to digest the things he heard. Cold unease ate him from the inside. Hearing the kitchen open, the boy scrams back barefooted to his chambers.

* * *

** _Hearthfire 4E 200, Helgen…_ **

The thin whistle Rumarin made broke the group's collective silence. "Look at that. Are y'all sure we're in the right town?" Despite the cheekiness, there's also an undisguised awe in his tone. Banners and tapestries covered the whole town—in mixed fashion of both Solitude and Cyrodiil, of course. Toss in a few dozen more and it’ll be enough to blanket the whole fort.

“Alright. Close your mouths people. You’re drawing us unnecessary attention.” Marie alerted them in a motherly way, giving the reins to a stable boy. And while Auri was preoccupied lecturing a young nord to be cautious in handling Thistlefoot, the rest followed the vigilant inside.

“Excuse me, folks. We have a ‘no hood policy’ for all visitors and guests until the end of the Gala.” The next soldier informed them, prompting everyone to take down their hoods. Glad to see they’re tripling security.

“Ah yes, good day, my sir. Will you have someone summon master Flavius for us? Their son, I mean. He invited us here?” Candle elaborately requested one of the officers guarding the entrance. The group let their breton friends handle the paperworks and used the time to look around instead.

“Not bad.” Inigo muses, turning at all directions as they walk about. “I will do my best not to go after the lantern balls.”

“Uhh, best we admire something else? You know, before we get thrown out of town even before the party starts? Just a thought.” The high elf dragged his blue friend away from the dangling decorations connecting the posts. Following close, Kaidan tightens the grip on his sack. They’d keep their weapons close if they were smart.

Grandiose events like these tend to attract high profile names. And big fishes always attract hungry predators.

“Are you done or do you want a moment to brood some more?”

He heard Rumarin call to him. “Be right there.” Waist deep in analyzing the situation, he didn’t realize their band had gathered towards the local tavern.

Who would’ve thought Helgen’s tedious daily affairs would take such a drastic turn in just a few days of preparation. Feels like the whole town’s got half of Whiterun’s population—and it’s not even half the city’s size! Soldiers, bodyguards, and workers buzzed around so much, even the residents are locking themselves in despite the call for a festive mood.

_ Ah nords. _

As expected, the tavern would be one of the busiest spots here given it's still lunch time. They even bumped into some errand boys before they were given a table of their own.

_ "Is it them?" _

_ "GASP! It's the champion-" _

_ "The champion's here?" _

_ "Of course they are, you idiot. Surely, they've done nobler deeds." _

Aaand of course, there's the folks who recognize them—much thanks to Inigo and Kaidan's striking appearances. "Uhh, boys.." Candle leans at the table, "Tell your following to buzz off. We don't need to gain more attention." Obviously, none of them came to an agreement and it fell to the old barkeeper to save them from the crowd.

"Word has spread around since you last visited. You must excuse the appearance and congestion, my lords and ladies—”

“Please,” The Nightingale held her hand up and flashed the tireless barkeep a polite smile to match her tone, “We’re not much of import. Just here to get stuffed from your excellent food.”

“Heard they serve better here than the fort.” Marie added and the others nodded like good little children. The aged woman blushes and fiddles with her stained apron. “Oh, I doubt my cooking’s on par with the chefs in that fort, serving counts and countesses.”

“Good thing we’re not _ counts _ and _ countesses _, then.” Candle quipped. “I’m sure the meal’s just as terrific, judging by how hard you worked on that.” she made a nod towards the elderly woman’s blistered hands.

“Ah, it’s nothing. Pot’s too heavy for these old bones, ha ha! What’re you good folks havin’?”

Brightened up by the flattery she obviously wasn’t getting from outsiders, the barkeeper was more than happy enough to give their table a bowlful of each food available and then some more.

“See that. That’s how you do it.” Rumarin murmurs, leaning to Kaidan.

“Uh-huh, then why don’t _ you _.” The swordsman unenthusiastically shrugged and told the elf to bugger off. Road travels always take a toll, particularly on the stomach. So any tavern meal’s better than some rabbit leg or jerky they pack for journeys. Surely, they won’t hate him for turning all his attention to the meal.

When the woman returns to refill their drinks, Candle slips her two vials of healing potion as ‘tip’.

“Uhm.. That was _ our _ healing potion.” Rumarin made his point clear.

“Yes, and that woman made the food you’re eating. Zip it.” Auri rolled her eyes and happily chewed on her steak.

The red-eyed swordsman raises a brow, “Didn’t get a notice that we’re using stashes now as payment.” he asks in lowered voice.

“Oh for the love of-” Candle bit her lip to rethink her words. Healing potions are a bit more pricey but they’re not going to debate about this, are they? “That ma’am was injured.”

“Use magic then. M’sure the vigilant can handle a few blisters.” Kaidan gets nothing in return but a disdainful smile from Candle that screams ‘SERIOUSLY’.

“Nords don’t like magic. Especially unpermitted ones.” Marie sips on her soup.

“Kitchen accidents are part of their lives.” The high elf argued, drinking his fill.

“They’re understaffed for a day this busy, that much should be obvious.” Inigo noted and then shrugged. “What? Barkeeps of their age know their kitchens well. She cooked too many in one pot to accommodate more guests and ended up burning her hands. It’s true.” the khajiit laid out in between bites.

“Thank you.” Auri grins.

“A sleuth and a bleeding heart. What a pair.” Rumarin claps mockingly.

“I can crush your fingers and feed it to the hounds.”

And for that moment, Candle’s bubbly delivery leashes everyone’s attention. Especially Rumarin.

“I was joking. Heheeh—”

“Don’t _ ‘hehee’ _me! I nearly bit my own tongue!” Rumarin cried over their table, sparking a myriad of reactions from everyone. Even the deadpan Kaidan cracks a smirk.

_ “Wow. You people are awfully more energetic than I last remember!” _

The cheery, uptown voice silences the group. There's only one man they know that quacks so adorably like that. Lucien approaches their table beaming from ear to ear. “Mind if I joined in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been kind of afk on the fic but it's not bc I lost interest. I did share that I lost my job bc of the pandemic, but tbf I am quite enjoying the vacation. I'm not sure when I can find a job again but in the meantime that I am not permitted to (we're still on lockdown XD) I'm getting back on art and doing some fun stuff i haven't got the chance to explore when I was employed. So, I apologize for long breaks between chapters and also thank you for actually checking out this fanfic (and my other shitposts in tumblr :'D :'D)!!


	58. Favors II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was to be a week of vacation quickly slid downhill to a heap of political mess and the group is just about to get dragged in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Gael-galad. :)

**057**

**Favors II**

  
  


"Oh, I was honestly lonely! My mornings were too quiet." Lucien gladly confessed. The table erupted into shared laughter and overlapping exchange of news during the imperial’s absence. A mention of his trimmed beard and search for Dumbzbthar came up and so did Candle’s little adventure in aid of a _ certain _ dark elf. They were as noisy as a band of veterans seeing each other after decades—or just purely excitable young people. And they’ve yet to down a barrel of liquor.

“Oh, no thanks. I just had lunch an hour ago.” Lucien kindly turned down when offered. “You guys haven’t changed one bit. I really missed it.”

The Vigilant slants her head to meet his eyes. “Dear boy, we’ve been apart for only a month. Surely your friends had tons of stories to capture your attention with?”

“R-right you are, miss Lyanna.” His chuckle dissolves into an awkward gulp as he wrung the hem of his fur coat. _ ‘Laugh it up Lucien, none of them has to know you haven’t been in contact with any friend since your return.’ _he told himself, trying his best not to avert his eyes. Or fidget at all. Wow, he’s horribly failing isn’t he? Honestly speaking, he’s never met any friends like them.

All he knew of were friendly strangers and polite acquaintances. They were the only ones to actually whip him into shape, remorselessly shove him aside during fights, and not that he _ enjoys _ getting beat into a pulp, but he’s learned more with them in six months than years of _ ‘training’ _ with a personal tutor. Life isn’t kind, and if it weren’t for them, he’ll never get a clue of how those beneath the status of his likes live their daily lives. Like his mother assured him, he picked the right people.

Now he’s fully recovered from the unintentional assault, he tackles a more relevant matter. “Gosh, so much happened after I left, hasn’t it? You all look closer. I’m quite jealous!” He quipped. “Anyway, the event’s two days from now. Do you all have what you need? Perhaps I can help you with anything?”

They all exchanged glances and all passed his offer.

“A better lodging would be nice, though. If the fort’s still got enough room for the guests.” Inigo suggested.

“A yes! It still has. In fact, my father’s stewards reported that more than half of the guests will only arrive on the day of the gala. I believe I can arrange that. Just… careful, alright?” He says with a twinge of worry. Fortunately, nobody seemed to notice as the promise of a high end quarter caught much of their attention.

* * *

The group was promised a tour from Lucien when he returned, so right after lunch the team agreed to meet near the barracks after half an hour. The men fled off to view what the caravans offered, while the ladies accompanied Candle.

"As much as I'm curious what to find here, I have to ask, what're we looking for?" Rumarin half skipped to match the other two's pacing along the lines of various caravans. "Something interesting." They both replied. Well, they sure are agreeing on one thing.

Eventually they pass by a small crowd clamouring around a weapons merchant. Trying to squeeze in was well worth it when they each got a better polished piece of gear. The trio were in the middle of a petty debate on whose purchase was better when a fretful woman bumps into them.

"Hey watch it-"

"Oof!"

"OWW! Ow. I'm so sorry—wh…"

The speed in which all their faces were painted with absolute confusion to glaring until they fully recognize the clumsy woman was astounding.

_ "YOU!?" _

Everyone exclaimed except for Inigo who seemed to be the only one with a working memory. His frown transforms into delight and he calls her by name,

"Vilja!"

On the other side of the area, the ladies were discussing cuisines Auri may eat in the event. Very abruptly did Marie stop on her tracks. By the trinket shop, a tall, fair skinned man was looking at their direction. He wore silks mixed in with some Cyrodiil-styled light armor. The man had an emotionless face but waved at Marie like he’s an old friend. Sensing the other ladies’ skepticism, he pulls out a medallion bearing the same design as Marie’s.

“Do continue without me, my ladies.” Marie hastily left their side, promising to meet them back in time.

"Another Vigilant is here, huh."

"Only for the party, I hope." You murmured back to the bosmer as you continued. Vigilants mean to protect people against 'darker forces'. Their presence should usher in a sense of confidence and security. Instead, it brings you dread—a vigilant on business means they suspect an enemy is here, and the types of enemy they hunt doesn't really make you feel all that comfortable. If anything, it just makes you feel exposed and vulnerable to the events that took place back in the Fire Festival.

Immediately sensing your plagued thoughts, Auri pauses in front of you. "Hey. Don't worry. I'll protect you." She slips her hand to yours and gives it a light squeeze. "I'm here." She smiles warmly. Maybe too literally as well, for you have no idea what else is causing your ears to burn.

Just then, a nearby yelp breaks their eye contact like a god-sent message saying they’re not allowed this moment. The two ladies look over to see a group of soldiers barking at some guy they’re ganging up on.

“By Shor, that’s what they get for allowing these midgets to run errands.” One of the guards complained, shaking his head. “Well? What’re you slackin’ about! Get a move on already-”

“If you _ helped _me, I would’ve gathered these things faster.” They heard a lad reply.

“Don’t get smart on me, elf. We’re the ones you work for so shut your trap if you know what’s best for you.” A soldier roars without regard for the curious eyes they’re attracting. Moving away, they kicked the basket the elf was supposed to use and made more scornful remarks as they left.

The elf gets up, muttering things as he runs after the rolling basket. “Bigots.” He shook his head. He gasps a little when he finds all the herbs piled neatly and _ very much afloat _.

“Didn’t mean to spook you.” Candle tells him in an apologetic tone, magic subtly surfacing from her hands. “It’s just faster this way.”

The ginger-haired mer examines her for a moment, just as she did, and takes a cautious step to take all ingredients inside the basket. He nods politely to her and she smiles sympathetically.

"They're bothering you?"

"Doesn't matter. They're bothering everyone not important enough to be in that upcoming party. Especially with ears like mine." He scoffs dejectedly. _ 'Like his?' _Did he meant being a bosmer or is there something different with his ears? "I'm guessing you're part of the event? Any guard should be chewing your head off right now for using magic so suddenly like that." He says, walking over to two more baskets of herbs and roots. Everyone did hear whispers of the town running short of potions to counter cold and some allergies and they're in need of supplies but… is he doing all that by himself?

"I've got time. I can help." She offered. Surely, she and Auri could easily dissuade a couple of brain-dead bigots along the way.

"Help..?"

"Yeah. Auri, let's go-" she turns around but finds her bosmer friend keeping an unusual distance. Auri was decent enough to keep her mouth closed but the hesitance in her face was easily decoded by the other wood elf.

"N-no, it's fine. I had a nord woman convince me into this job. Said the town's willing to pay since they needed workers, and I could honestly use some wage." He ties the rope around the baskets again and begins dragging it off. "Now I'm wondering if it was worth it. Anyway, thanks." He excuses, passing the girls a tight smile that dropped its sincerity when it landed on Auri.

Flustered by the cold tension built between the two elves, the breton attempted to mend it before the conversation got severed. "Er.. I.. My name is Candle. S-see you around…?"

The meek lad turns to look at her one last time, "Gael-galad. And uhh, sure. Have a nice day." He awkwardly waves, looking better at ease the further he got away from them. Candle looks back to her companion who shyly averted her gaze.

"You okay?"

"Yes. I just.. Maybe we shouldn't get involved. We promised to keep it low until the party, right?"

"Auri.. We were just trying to help him carry it." The breton clarified. Auri shook her head, "I know, I just-" she bit her lip, "I'll go check on Thistlefoot. I'll meet you back, okay?" And with that, she's gone in the crowd. The urge to follow her was strong; there was clearly something off. But for now she'd respect the archer's need for space.

In the meantime, she had her eyes set on visiting the apothecary to refill their potions.

* * *

"Y-you're alive! I can't believe it. Oh Gods, you really are-" the flustered woman couldn't quite get a hold of her words. Blubbering and frantically flailing her hands while jumping in place. Inigo had his ears perked up and his tail wagged with an energy to match the fretful woman's tearful squeals. They clasped hands together and were no more than a couple of girls in their preteens that haven't seen each other after a long while. Wait, it _ has _ been that long.

"Vilja, you don't know how glad I am to see you!" Inigo cheers.

"It's me who's _ glad _to see you. And you, and you!" She shakes Kaidan and Rumarin's hand, re-introducing herself. "We met in that inn! Near Yorgrim, right? We helped each other! As well as you, sir…?"

"Rumarin. And er-, drop the sir please. It's awkward. This _ is _awkward." He muttered quickly in the end. It's steadily coming back to him. Damn snow, blasted grave, a hollering blonde—it was a memory worth forgetting. The nord woman nods vehemently, bursting into a lively narration of what happened despite the trio giving her obvious hints not to.

As it turns out, Vilja brought back a few scouts to the cave only to find its entrances buried after it caved in. They spent a few good hours yelling but could not get anything in return other than the unwelcoming growls of some remaining draugr. With no luck, they gave up and Vilja took the job in Dawnstar but not for long.

“I’ve been travelling since, trying to make some living but for some reason I couldn’t keep a stable job...” Vilja scratches her head with a sheepish smile and in a flash, horror washes like a bucket of cold water. “Blasted! I forgot I was supposed to fetch something!! It was so nice getting to talk with you all!” She gasps in panic, though it wasn’t much of a conversation with her breaking into a grand monologue. "I-I don't suppose you know where the healer is? We needed a stronger magic. That or potion. Oh dear, I hope the poison in the jarl's veins doesn't worsen…" Vilja worried her nail between her teeth.

"Poisoned? Which Jarl?" Kaidan asked, suddenly piqued.

“Jarl Siddgeir of course! The poor man squirmed like a worm, they said. Why haven’t you heard of it yet—_ Oh. _ ” Vilja screws her face like she’s about to smack her brains out, “They didn’t let the word out. I forgot. _ Teehee. _” she smiles tightly and full of self loathing. “I beg of you, keep this secret or better yet forget you heard anything! All-Maker knows they’ll have my head if this gets out before the gala.” with giant, pleading eyes, she claps with a breath of relief and skedaddled after they agreed to her.

“Well. Can we all agree that she’ll likely hang by tomorrow if she’s _ that _loose lipped? No? I’m the only one with functional observation skills here?” Rumarin poked at the two and while Inigo’s taking a defensive stand for the nord woman, Kaidan couldn’t help the twist in his gut feeling.

Two days. Two days and someone’s already getting downed. Jarl Siddgeir…. Siddgeir. Hmm. There’s that name familiar around Falkreath, right? _ ‘Shit. I hate this side of politics.’ _

* * *

Thistlefoot whimpered, anxiously waiting for the treat Auri was bringing him. The bosmer giggled as life sparked in the antelope’s little hops before respectfully nipping the food out of her hand. “Good boy.” She cooed, double checking his conditions. It must be hard to be cooped up in a place like this. The townsfolk did everything in their capacity to give space to the carriages and mounts that will be staying but she worried her gentle baby might be having a difficult time.

Why, so far she hasn’t seen anyone brave and shameless enough to bring a unique animal for their steed and parade it around in Skyrim like she does. It bit at her at first. The cold bothered Thistlefoot many times but the longer they stayed here, the sturdier her antelope became over the years and she couldn’t have thanked Y’ffre for a better companion.

“Mama, please have reason. What if the bad people came back to end him for good?”

“...Hush, child! You’ll attract danger to us like that.”

Auri’s ears twitched at the voices of a parent and her daughter nearby. They’re far enough out the stables but they must’ve underestimated Auri’s excellent hearing. She resumed petting Thistlefoot but kept an open ear.

“But the woman came inside the store saying they needed more ingredients. The poison is resisting and auntie must brew a stronger solution.” Her daughter argued. “Let me go out there and aid the other volunteers. More people will flood in here in the next days and auntie might collapse from overwork if this keeps up.”

There was a long, terse silence followed by a heavy sigh. “Fine. Be quick and don’t go outside the walls when sunset strikes.” The daughter thanked her mother who sent her regards for the sister who works in the apothecary. Auri’s loving pats slowly ceased and Thistlefoot nudged her gently, asking for more.

“Sorry-” was a thoughtless response. The conversation had her reminiscing about something. About her family. _ Her sister. _

How are they doing? Are their hunts well? Is she… is her silly sister finally able to navigate the forests without losing her sense of direction after making a fifth turn? Auri chokes out an empty laugh and absent-mindedly attends to Thistlefoot. She didn't notice the few tears pricking at the corner of her eyes until she stopped and let out a sigh that shook her at the very core.

_ ‘They’re better off… I shouldn’t worry about them…’ _ she chinned up and blinked away the hurt. _ ‘It’s just another year, Auri.’ _She dragged herself out of the stables, pretending the heaviness in her chest wasn't real.

Just another year.

Walking back to the meeting point, a certain pair catches Auri’s eyes. _ Lyanna? _ She’s still talking to that Vigilant but looks like they’re nearly done. Her colleague departs with a nod and a sad smile. Lyanna turns and meets Auri halfway.

“What’s that al-”

“Will you take care of my lady?” Lyanna cuts her off. “Even if you don’t owe her anything, will you protect Rozenn?”

That’s a name she hasn’t heard for a while. The bosmer blinks at the sudden inquiry but answers. “Y-yeah of course. Why ask?” the vigilant averted her intense gaze and closed as her shoulders unstiffened. “Is it them?” She noted the faction.

Lyanna shook her head dejectedly and inhaled. “It’s nothing to worry about. Cyrodiil has enough agents to operate.” Yet her doleful eyes spoke layers of uncertainty. “We should go now. And uhm.. I’d appreciate it if my lady didn’t hear about my frantic behavior just now.” She said. Auri gave an understanding smile and patted her friend’s back.

Friendship is a funny thing. She could never get used to living in walls or houses of bricks and wood. She would even flinch at the slightest greeting from a fellow bosmer, follower or not of the Green Pact. Yet here she is, comforting others, attending galas, willing to get inside such ridiculous gowns. People out here aren’t as bad as she’d assume at first and she’s only starting to realize that after joining this band of silly travellers.

The least she could do is try to move on.

* * *

Chimes clinked as the door closed behind you. “For the road.. Emergencies.. Okay.” You mumble with finality and march down the squeaky old steps of the apothecary.

“Miss Candle?” A maiden clothed in a servant's uniform approaches you. A lass from the fort? _ ‘Did Lucien sent her?’ _you wondered. The girl humbly requested that you follow her. She takes you at the southern gate where a common carriage is stationed. The only guard outside it spots the girl waving and they acknowledge your presence before inviting you inside the cart.

You hesitated but the lack of security does make you curious who’s inside. The girl nods as if permitting you to burn it to Oblivion if it turns out to be a trap.

Entering the carriage, you are met with a woman clothed in silks that speaks of nobility. “Ah.. Lady Candle. Do get comfortable.” she smiles radiantly, almost similar to…

“Apologies, you have me at the disadvantage, madame…?”

“Lyra. I believe my son will be introducing us to one another in a few hours from now but I went out of my way to meet you as discreetly as possible.” Lucien. Of course. Seems like the Flavius’ brilliant smiles just run down the genetics. And Lucien did boast the same golden locks his mother has.

“Right… May I ask why?”

“I shall be brief. We need your help.” Her motherly smile drops, replaced by a sterner expression with only subtle hints of the gentle woman she was a while ago. “Right now, a guest’s life is in danger and the people behind his poisoning are still lurking around. We’re afraid they’ll actually succeed with the other patrols disappearing one by one.”

Your words refuse to form. Why is she revealing this to you? Of all the qualified people here, why is she asking for _ your _ help? “I.. I’m sorry,” you scrunched up your face as your best attempt to hold back a scowl. “I do not mean to sound awful, truly, but we’re no spies or mercenaries. We don’t even have identifications on us.” you tried to explain without sounding like a whiny fishwife.

“I understand, I truly do. No doubt almost every important person here has a spy or an escort of personal guards. But this is why your group is perfect for the role.”

A pang of guilt hits you for feeling betrayed. Wait, you _ do _ have the right to feel offended at least. Lucien invited you here as his friends, as his guests— _ oh _.

Growing a contemptuous smile, you look at her with renewed understanding. “This is why nameless people such as us have been allowed access in the Gala without a hitch. You needed someone factionless. Someone they can’t identify.”

Lyra smiles and nods. “You pick up fast, dear girl. But do not think it is the only reason why we had your names inserted in the list. Asking for a stranger’s cooperation is a last resort. We..” the pause changes her whole demeanor. “We.. are out of options and time.” she breathes out fast, brows knitting slightly and giving away to the stress she’s been carefully hiding under bright smiles and polite words.

The few moments of silence allowed you to chew on your nail before coming up with an answer. “...Say we do agree. I don’t really know how we’ll be of help. Like you said, we can’t be suspected of snooping around. If your son hasn’t mentioned yet, none of my companions are the “sneaking” type.”

“We only need confirmation of your allegiance for now. The spies are currently investigating the matter at hand. Our role is to keep an eye out for them.”

“Wait-, _ wait. _” a dry laugh comes out of you, “You’re not actually involved, are you?” surprise flashes behind her eyes and you continued, “M’lady, this may be an uncomfortable way for us to meet each other but since we’re talking about this, what about Lucien?”

Her face hardens. “My son has nothing to do with this. This is between me, my husband, and your group.”

“That’s not it. We’re his friends. That much was already obvious when we had lunch together earlier. This place has a killer or _ killers _ scattered everywhere. If someone even gets so much as a whiff of our group being involved in this then he’ll be—”

“He won’t.” She said firmly. “And I have faith in your group’s competence and honor. I believe what my son said about you.”

You leaned in slightly, “Then you would know we will not agree until Lucien’s safety is fully guaranteed.” you squinted as you whispered the words. “I will not do anything that will put my friends in unnecessary danger.”

Lyra shakes her head and reaches for your hand. “You are wise. I thank the Divines that it was you my son has been travelling with for all the time he’s been away.” her voice thickened, “But I ask you to also analyze with reason. There is no need for my family to get involved—heavens know me and Davidicus argued a thousand times over before we came to this decision. But if we don’t step in, this whole event will put people in jeopardy. This _ is _ a necessary danger.”

_ ‘That’s what everyone says when politics is involved. Of course. Is there a more perfect time to dispose of a high ranking enemy than in lavish parties. Guess cancelling the event isn’t an option here?’ _

“Dear girl, listen to me. It’s not just about politics. Common people, _ good people _ will be affected in the chain of events. Indecision is a choice.” She says, putting another hand on your balled fists. “It’s something I couldn’t bring myself to teach my son before. Then he came home and told me how he learned this from you. He said you helped him understand this.” The imperial woman smiled sincerely, eyes pleading for you to be reasonable, “You _ know _there will be consequences if we don’t act.”

_ WHAT? _ You wanted to react but was caught off guard by what she said. _ ‘No.. That’s terribly wrong! I didn’t teach him shit—I.. I..’ _flashes of fire and screaming invades your mind; the smell of churned flesh and burning leaves as magic born of blood spills on Forsworn territory. Lucien gazes at you with eyes wide in horror. Hands both freezing and warm with ice and blood.

_ It was wrong. You were wrong. Why didn’t he judge you? _

Slipping further into confusion, Lyra’s assuring voice was the only thing you could grasp on to pull yourself out of that night.

“Lady Candle-”

“When was the assault.”

The woman blinks. A bit taken aback by your sudden drop of tone perhaps. “Th-then we have a deal—”

“If Lucien is kept away from all this, then yes.” You met her dead in the eyes until she nodded. “Now if I may have the general details, madame Lyra.. I may have better chances of talking my friends into this.”

* * *

An ear to ear beam was what greeted Candle back as Lucien waves at her from afar. She arrived last but was still on time.

“Are you guys alright?” Lucien tilts his head, examining each of his friends. “You all look distraught. Aha! It’s the party, right? It can be pretty intimidating even for me _ heheh _. How does an afternoon high tea to shake the nerves off sound like?” the lad brings his hand together, gesturing towards the fort and they begin to move. Two more nights until the party. There’s a lot of time to catch up and he looked forward to this the most. Lucien only hoped nothing bad would come to his friends. He was the one responsible for getting them all here, after all.

_ ‘If anything happens to even one of them… Gosh, I sure hope not!’ _Lucien smiled to himself and tried to keep his chin up. Yet the dreariness his companions are trying to hide kept pulling at him somehow.

Divines, watch over them all.

* * *

A gentle high pitch sound caused by chimes signaled the arrival of a new customer. The store owner casually greeted the hooded woman. “Looking for ingredients or potions, miss? Hold on a sec. My people are out running some errands.” The owner says, setting aside a basket full of fresh ingredients.

“Ah, yes please. I have a list of what I need here.” The woman’s sweet voice filled the room.

The apothecary looks at the list and raises a brow. “T-this is a bit.. You know deathbells don’t grow much in this place, aye? Whaddya need a chunk of it for?”

“Is it too much?" She reaches the apothecary's hand and takes back the parchment "I-I didn’t know. How embarrassing of me-... Lady? Lady are you alright?” The hooded woman moves to catch the owner who seems to have lost her balance.

“Oh-.. I don’t, I don’t know. I’m just suddenly so tired..” The apothecary yawns as her customer helps her down on a chair nearby.

“I’ll get help, alright?” she says but the nord woman was already snoring lightly. “My, seems like you’re already asleep." the stranger chuckles, taking out a thin needle from the owner's hand. "Deathbells. Deathbells. Where could she be hiding it.” She grins, taking down her hood to reveal a young dunmer beneath it.

...

“Ma’am? Ma’am. Wake up oi..?”

The store owner shook her head awake and was greeted by her helpers. “Vilja, oh dear. Did I fell asleep?” She smoothed her hair, at loss on how she got into that situation. Vilja just shrugged and picked up her basket of herbs again.

“Found you like that when we got back. Heehee I can’t blame you~ I’d be dead tired too with all these orders coming in.” The cheerful woman teases.

The store owner shushes her dismissively. Pouting at the lack of liveliness, Vilja proceeds to go to the backroom where her companion was.

“Our mistress is a sleepyhead~” Vilja giggles at her friend and sniggered some more when the apothecary shouts back at her. Her companion raises a brow and gives a half smile. “Better than being an airhead like you, I guess.”

Vilja gasps and quickly places down the ingredients. “That’s mean! I thought we’re friends!”

“We just met days ago. When you were screaming for help because some wild pig is after you.” he replies, arranging their stocks.

“That makes us friends. OHH! Speaking of which; I found them!”

“Who?”

The nord lady jumps over to the tiny man while holding her braids and squealing in delight. “The people I told you!! You won’t believe it-, _ I don’t believe it! _ By the All-Maker, I really thought they were dead, Gael!” Vilja rejoices, flapping around the bosmer like a famished hawk.

The bosmer rolls his eyes and sighed exasperatedly, “...Okay, okay, I get it—can you not trample over me, _ please. _” he raises a hand and gives the big lady a chop on the head.

“Oww. You’re so mean.”

“And you’re too familiar.” Gael sticks out a tongue.

She pouted at the attitude but continued to share her joyous moment with the redhead. It's been a while since someone tolerated her, after all. And he's not really bad.

“Did the ma’am tell you what the hooded lady’s business here was?” He asked. Vilja seems clueless to what he was saying. “You didn’t see? The one that came out of the shop before we found the ma’am here sleeping?”

“Bah~ I didn’t and if she walked out, it’s because the mistress is being lazy.”

_ “I HEARD THAT VILJA! BY YSMIR, DON’T LET ME CATCH YOU, YOUNG LADY!” _

The apothecary and Vilja broke into a vigorous banter. Leaving Gael to work silently in the backroom as he idly wondered about the suspicious character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hits keep coming and I'm sbjgbseiugh I must be doing something right after all. XD I worked on this for hours straight so it must've sucked a bit on the proof reading. But oof don't be afraid to msg me or tell me if something confuses you! x) a-and compliments are welcomed, too. ✨ (I might just be too awkward to say something as nice back 👀)


	59. Playing Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deciding to lend a hand to investigating the event's assassination attempt, the group makes their move. The first step? Expose themselves.

**058**

**Playing Games**

  
  


Murmurs and whispers circulated the room with proper caution after Lucien left them. After all, a group of rough looking individuals gathering in the night would be too suspicious. Especially so with the guards alerted of a certain Jarl's state and are tasked to double, no, triple their vigilance, and immediately report or investigate anything that seems unusual.

"Are you sure this is legitimate information? You just said their family isn't involved with the case." Kaidan leaned on the bed's pole, crossed arms and with a look that turned increasingly anxious the further the conversation was tackled.

Candle shakes her head, “No, no. The things we heard throughout town matches.”

“I also pinched some gossip. The victim did arrive days prior but is nowhere to be seen since two nights ago. It matches that Vilja’s words.” The vigilant unrolled the covers along with Inigo.

Though they will be sharing a single room for their stay, it’s still a major improvement than creaky bunkhouses. Auri was more than pleased to not endure the smell of burning wood for a couple of nights. It’s one of the guard’s quarters underneath that hasn’t been fully rearranged yet—which turned out to be a good thing. It may lack extravagant decorations compared to other guest chambers but they have sufficient space and beds for everyone. Additionally, they won’t have to worry about communication since they’re holed up in the same place… though spying will be the tricky part but hey, at least they won’t be afraid of walking into the wrong room or, worse, _ an uncomfortable scene _.

“Okay, now tell me this; why would they make a move behind the shadows instead of helping directly? Don’t they have a stronger effect here with their positions?” asks Rumarin who’d been plumping the pillows. “They would make themselves vulnerable.” Auri points in a matter-of-factly way, “Listen closer, my tall, pea-brained friend,”

“What did you just say—”

“If a figure as powerful as them announces that they’re joining a fight, the only benefit will be intimidating the enemy. The disadvantages are disastrous in comparison; first, they don’t know who the enemy is and won’t be able to properly measure their opponent. Second, by exposing their participance, the enemy will now know to watch them and all those employed under them, limiting their movements. Now I don’t have to but it’s worth emphasizing that Lucien is here with them and he’s a _ very _ easy target to use against his parents.”

“W-well.. Putting it that way..” The altmer was at a loss for words for Auri’s insightful explanation. “How are you able to grasp all of these in one sitting?” He scratches his head.

“Valenwood has some interesting raids.” She winked.

“And she’s listening.” Inigo shrugged.

Rumarin scowls at the khajiit and crashes on his bed. “Hey now, don’t you gang up on me. I’m a simple elf. I hear politics, my brain shuts down.”

“Alright, settle down. But _ why _ do they want to get involved?” The swordsman interrupted with a tone that nearly translates to “ _ Why drag us to do the work?” _. Inigo exchanges looks with Marie for a moment, “I suppose there are a lot to consider. We don’t really look like spies so that’s a good cover. And like our friend said, those who work under that man will be affected one way or another.”

“Not to mention, the intel so far says there’s someone working inside and may very well be responsible for the missing guards. There will be more in the coming days if they don’t prepare a countermeasure. And there’s… Tsk.” Marie bit her tongue. She didn’t want to say anymore lest they cause more noise.

The swordsman pinches the bridge of his nose. This was so much more inconvenient than having to slip into formal wear for a whole evening. Just then, his wandering eyes catches the Nightingale looking distantly in the oil lamp. “Oi. Got your head elsewhere?” he calls her out. Everyone offers their attention towards her. After all, she was handed this information first hand; if there’s anyone they want to hear insights from, it would be hers. “I’m not about to offer blind assistance here like a dog. Why don’t you tell us what you think? You’ve been quiet for a while now.” He noted.

The Nightingale turns back at them, though she kept her gaze lowered. “We’re only tasked to keep watch but I personally feel like this tactic is going to fail.” She cups her chin and has an unusually dark look on her face.

“Well go on.” Rumarin motions at her and falls back to his bed. “It’s not like any of us have more to contribute.” Candle shoots everyone a blank stare, braving herself to deliver her thoughts with as much precision.

“Where should I start? The situation was already a mess when we arrived. They are at the disadvantage with the enemy knowing who their target is and everyone enlisted to them. The enemy is unlikely to be Imperials, though. When Lyanna went to purchase the old mansion she said the jarl is an Empire ass-licker-”

“Er-, _ boot-licker _, my lady.” Marie points in vain as the others seem to like the former anyway.

“So the ones who want to dispose of him are likely holding grudges or a faction that wants to replace him. A nord jarl dying in an Empire hosted party will be scandalous and people will think it has largely to do with the Civil War. Those that will benefit from the gala getting ruined will be…”

_ “Stormcloaks.” _They all whispered in unison.

“Let me guess, it’s too early to make an accusation?” Rumarin rolled his eyes. “Well of course, they need to find the culprits first.” he quickly followed.

“Exactly. See this is where the trick begins. The factors conveniently point to the Stormcloaks. Whoever’s doing this, they want the Stormcloaks pinned. The problem is the jarl’s side actually buys it. This is where ‘we’ come in. Madame and Sir suspect there is more these people are missing and they’re smart to consider it, but I’m afraid the role they want us to play won’t help.” Candle clicks her tongue. “They’re playing it too safe.”

The way these bretons voice out their observations is disconcerting. “Why do you talk like you know how this whole thing works?” Rumarin gets up and frowns. Suddenly, the former thief’s frosty demeanor splits into a grin. “Balls in High Rock are battlefields itself. Poisons, fake smiles, scandals… I despised them all but now I do understand what those people are up to.”

“I’m surprised there’s no war in High Rock with how vicious the politicians there are.” Kaidan mutters blandly, walking back to his bed.

“There is. But those wars are fought and won in the court.” Candle tells them. “..._ ’Victory in battle is only the least kind of victory. Victory without battle is the acme of skill.’ _...” and when the others didn’t have anything to say back, she simply smiles.

After a short moment of mulling and sitting on their beds with unsatisfying silence, Kaidan sighs. “You want us to actively participate.”

“They won’t know we’re participating if we don’t get caught, right?” Auri smiles deviously while the blue cat laughs softly in agreement, “If we’re putting a foot in, we might as well put the other. Who knows, we may actually prevent the disappearances and save families the pain of losing a loved one.”

The raven haired man raises his brow to the altmer whose best answer was a lazy shrug.

“My lady only wishes to put an end to this as early as possible. Rather than just standing by and waiting for something to happen, we can split up and search for information to narrow down the possible enemy.” Marie replied. “As the bosmer said, we can do this discreetly.”

_ “Mate, did you hear talking inside?” _ _  
_ “ _ OI—IS ANYONE IN THERE!?” _

They heard the door suddenly rattle as some guards appeared. Shit, they haven’t been paying attention to the noise outside.

Everyone shot the ones beside them a panicked glance and broke into frantic whispers.

“They heard us!” 

“No they didn’t, stop panicking!”

“_ You’re _ panicking!”

“Should we act asleep?”

“_ Shit. Shit. Shit. _”

“Bloody shut your mouths oi—_ damn it. _”

The wooden door swung open with a loud _ BAM! _ and the two patrols had their weapons ready.

“Imperial police! What’s the meaning of thi—…”

“.....”

“Uh...”

“.....”

Receiving no response made it even harder to form one. And so the imperial guards continued staring blankly at the group of grown ups glaring at them while posted on their beds and holding pillows in their arms.

“We’re… using this room.” Candle greeted with the stiffest expression she ever conjured. “Is there a problem?” her frigid tone dropped a tinge of hostility.

“Ah-! G-good evening..!” The guard flinched. What’s with the menacing aura coming from this lot? They’re all glowering at them like they’re the ones in the wrong for barging in on the room. “W-What’s happening here?”

_ They are the authority in these halls—how is it they’re trembling before these people dressed in their tunics! _

A man bearing a tattoo on his face steps away from the rest and walks toward them like a sabrecat spotting its next meal. The shade of his eyes burned intensely through them and the expression he had grew darker the closer he got. Is he… is he going to fight them!? One of the guards tightened the grip on his sword and gulped hard.

“A-Answer the question, oi..!!”

Blinking, they see a fat pillow raised in front of them. Behind it is a pair of sharp eyes hungry for sports.

“Want to join?" Kaidan grunts.

“Wh… what…?”

The man narrows his lids, “We’re pillow fighting,” his voice grimmer, “_ JOIN US. _” he shakes the pillow just a bit and the guards involuntarily steps back. The lantern they were holding dangled and reflected the man’s own trembling. “Well.. we’re on d-duty right now…” The first one stammered.

“I see…” Whatever emotion it is that passed his face, it was terribly unpleasant. Is he that upset to be turned down!?

With that, the patrols apologized for their behavior while pledging themselves in fright to attend the next pillow fight after their shifts. They will most likely not but it was the only way for them to live another day.

* * *

Fanning away the smoke, Lucien wiped beads of sweat off his face after he took out the food from the oven. He beamed proudly on the apple pie he made. He had practiced and consumed a good amount of flour sacks to perfect this recipe and this one only had a semi-burnt outer crust compared to all the ones he unrepentantly demolished. Sure, he ate some of it like a real man owning to his mistakes, and he gave the edible ones to the laborers outside but he’s pretty sure majority of them will repay him with a rotten tomato or a dirty boot if he so much as offer them another of his baking. So getting it just right this time, at this exact moment when he needs no repeat the most, THIS is an achievement for him.

“Marvelous! Now to grab that tray with the other treats. Ohh! I’m sure they’re all eagerly waiting for me!” Lucien giddily cleaned up a bit and sang to himself. Just thinking how many enjoyable games they will play tonight gives him such a rush.

* * *

“What the hell was that! Bahahahaha!” Rumarin was cracking up so much it would be no surprise if he were to suddenly float away and never return. Kaidan just sat on his bed and faced the wall. While his improv skills proved to have gained a massive growth, none of his friends could unsee what had transpired. His pride shall forever be chipped. “Aww don’t glower about it,” Auri teased. “Your quick thinking saved us~”

“A noble warrior. We shall honor your deed and forever imprint this sacrifice of yours in our heart and soul-”

“I said FORGET IT!” Kaidan lashes out at Inigo who merely laughed at him. They’re not even taking him seriously now! He tried to focus his mind on Candle and Lyanna preparing tea but felt boiling beneath his skin every minute they sniggered at him. Alas, it was only until the altmer made another remark that he finally snapped.

“Ooh. Watch out people, lest the Champion of Helgen unleash his pillows of death at you~” Rumarin howled, waving around his arms at the bosmer and khajiit. And like a cannonball, one of the biggest pillows sends Rumarin off his bed. “Hey! What in blazes-, _ eep! _” He ducked down as Kaidan threw another one at him.

“That it, eh? I’ll show _ you _ death by pillows!” The swordsman roars as the high elf starts running, “Get your arse here, coward!!”

“I shan’t meet my end today! Not to a brute, not to newly washed pillows! NEVEEER!!”

“Pillow fight!! Every man for himself!”

“HA HA! Very well, Inigo, I declare you my arch nemesis! I will destroy you last!” the usually composed bosmer played along without question.

“—wait! We’re playing it like an Arena now!?_ Oof! _” the altmer topples over as Inigo hits him with a pillow. The blue demon relishes in hitting a score and dances on top of his bed. “Bah! Whatever, you’re all going down!” He dramatically slams a hand on the bed and begins to wage war on his friends.

Meanwhile the bretons are nearly done with the table when a stray pillow finds its way to it. Teacups and boiled waters flew mid-air and would have gone to waste if it weren’t for the vigilant and her mistress using magic to carefully put things back into order.

“My lady, don’t go overboard.”

“I won’t.”

Marie simply attended to the table again as Candle walked into the battlefield.

“Oh ho, you brats really did it…” The four halted their attacks when they heard Candle’s riled up call. Turning around, all they could do was gape at the Nightingale’s mighty collection of pillows floating behind her before she began her onslaught.

“Gosh! I surely hope I didn’t.. made everyone... ” Lucien’s words trailed off as he bears witness to the damage his friends have caused inside the room. Misaligned beds, rips on curtains, some spilled tea on the floor, and murdered pillows. “..wait. You guys are having fun without ME!?!” Betrayal exploded in his voice like the Red Mountain.

“N-no, Lucien we can explain!”

“_Gasp!_ Kaidan started it!”

But still the imperial refused to listen and ran away. Before anyone could give chase, he comes back, face red and panting wildly. In his arms were two dusty pillows, “I-I can be a formidable pillow warrior!!” He exclaims frantically and throws one at Kaidan and the other to Inigo. “_ Pant… Pant… _Hoo… H-how’s that huh!?” Is this too far? His friends remain blank faced. Oh no! He’s not trying too hard to belong is he?

Kaidan and Inigo look over to Candle before collapsing on their knees, both grasping the parts of them that’s been hit.

“AARRGH!!”

“Damn… He… got me...”

The three remaining survivors were immediately stricken with fear and have deemed Lucien a worthy adversary. Having rekindled his confidence, the academic joins in for another round and they all fill the halls with laughter and dramatic shrieking throughout the night.

Marie happily looks on, taking care of the food tray Lucien has passionately abandoned in the heat of the moment as they turn the room into a riot. Occasionally, her mistress pays her a glance and she would nod and smile knowingly.

It’s good that they can spare some time to enjoy moments like these. People grow up so fast lately. Few get to enjoy their youth and before they realize it, roots of white and grey have already coloured their hair.

She would keep her eyes on Lucien for a while and feel her heart come alive, _ ‘Marco would have certainly grown up to be an enthusiastic man like Lucien.’ _she chuckles to herself. It still hurts somewhere deep within. To know her brother isn’t avenged, to know those who destroyed their lives are still out there. But there are always things more important than revenge.

The vigilant brings her hands together and conjures a sparrow. She gives it a rolled up parchment and smiles as it flies out of their room.

** _Outside the Fort, behind the stables…_ **

A hooded man swats away a buzzing fly. “...And what of this group of unimportant guests I’ve heard of?”

“No need to bother with them. They’re no threat, sire.” The person in the shadows assured his ally. “Could be that young Flavius boy’s lackeys and nothing more. Hired to act buddies with him and make him look less of a wimp.”

“And how do you know this?”

“One of my girls heard from the guards that patrolled the floor where the group was staying at.”

“Hmp. Do tell.”

“Word is they’re all just muscle-heads. That they look intimidating. All of them are built fighters. The high elf and the vigilant might pose some magical threat but…”

“But…?”

There was a terse silence before his words cut through.

“Well. They’re all idiots.”

A crow flaps away from the stable roof and lands on top of someone’s tent.

The man awaiting it gives his medallion one last look before hiding it under the collars. He adjusts the spell on the crow and it _spoke_ some information he could use.

His associate would want to hear of their success.

* * *

You wake up out of breath and with so much tightness in your chest that you couldn't care less for the hot tears streaming down your face. The erratic pounding of your heart went on for a minute until you've taken in a much needed breather to cool down your body. Dark.. It’s dark.

_ ‘I need to breathe…’ _

Instinct makes you summon a mage light by reflex, gradually decreasing its brightness after it reminded you just who you were sharing the room with. In a blind hurry, you picked up only but a cloak before leaving the chambers.

Nightmares had lessened its frequency but it didn’t mean it won’t be horrible whenever it occurs. Sauntering out of the fort and thanking the guards for letting you pass with just a word of caution, you find a dimly lit corner behind the ominous tower to recover your wits. _ ‘Damn it.. Is it because I’m remembering most of those events better now..’ _You slid a shaky hand over your face and heaved out a sigh. You thought this stupid effect would wear off after expelling the daedra out of your being but the more you collect pieces of your past, the more you’re convinced the problem didn’t originate from possession.

You’re slowly recalling the names, the people. Even those you forcibly tried to erase with magic. Some things are best left unknown while some would argue lost memories are worth rediscovering. Well aren’t you the lucky bastard?

To you, rediscovering was no different from reliving.

“Candle? Ah. I’m glad I found you, my friend.”

Inigo appeared shortly after. Instead of a cloak, he went out with the blanket still wrapped around him. “I heard you sneak out so I followed. It’s pretty chilly out here.”

You still haven’t raised your head from your hand. It’s not that you have a persisting headache, it’s that opening your eyes just pulls you back into this taxiing reality. “Here to escort me back, huh..”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

You looked at him in slight surprise. Inigo held out a pair of gloves and a smile that reminded you of just how wonderful he truly is. You took the items as a small smile crept up your lips, and he leans on the wall beside you, looking up at the stars.

“Inigo…”

“Yes, my friend?”

“We’re friends, right?”

“Of course! The best of the best. And the strongest, too!” He grinned sheepishly and so did you. “Thank you for being here. With me. I’d be scared to wake up one day and find you gone.” Measuring your tone, the khajiit pats your shoulder lightly. “You seem a bit down. Didn’t you have fun earlier?” you shook your head lightly and gave him a warmer smile.

“It’s the flashes. I know I should be thankful to be remembering things..” a pause, a deep breath. “The more I regain, the less I want them back.”

The blue khajiit watches you scratch your head and screw your face in frustration. “Whatever you find out, my friend… You know I’ll be here for you.” he gives your arm a gentle squeeze.

“Haha. I already know I won’t like it. What if ‘I’ became ‘we’?”

“Nonsense! And even if it did, I’ll still be here. I promised when you spared me, right?” The blue cat assures you. You flicked a brow at his words, mischievously testing him all of a sudden. “Wh-.. you’re not staying just because of that, are you?” Inigo ruffles your hair and you two shared a laugh.

“No, silly bird!”

“But-”

_ “Candle.” _ His sincerity weighed much more tonight. “I’ve got your back. Always.”

_ ‘He really… sounds like him, huh…’ _

* * *

Despite Lucien insisting they eat in the hall with him, the group would simply rather hang themselves than dine with the nobles and suffer scrutinizing gazes for bearing no titles to match theirs. And they wouldn’t have the luxurious freedom of discussing their next move unlike here in the comforts of their isolated, lonely chamber.

Between banters and passing discussions, the group chewed on their meals heartily. Candle would check on Auri if she was fine with just fish and chicken meats while Kaidan starts the day with a mug of ale.

“You really need to watch your health, young man.” The high elf swirled his morning tea, taking a jab on Kaidan’s drinking habit. “S’just ale.” He shrugs like he always did, brushing off their concerns. “Hey didn’t your mentor—”

“Don’t.” Kaidan grunts, face quickly turning sour. A mug containing hot beverage smoking with aroma stops the argument from ever starting. They look up and see Marie holding a teapot. “Try it.”

“And this is?” They examine the strangely black liquid inside the mug. The vigilants just insist he take it and so Kaidan sips. “_ Pwah! _ The bloody hell, it’s strong and bitter? Wait—where in Nirn did you get coffee _ in Skyrim? _”

“It’s Black Coffee.” The vigilant corrected with a slight smug. “And no, they rarely have these in Skyrim since liquor’s warming effects last much longer than coffee’s. The newly arrived caravan from Cyrodiil had it.” she explained. “Ooh, I’ll search a bit, I recall one of us bringing some honey.” Rumarin shuffles out of his seat excitedly. Pretty soon, everyone was consuming coffee except for Auri and Inigo. Candle cheerily downs her second mug and is going for a third when Kaidan grabs her hand.

“Easy there, woman. We need you with us for the meantime.” he smirked and nodded at Marie. She clears her throat.

“My colleague gave an answer.”

* * *

** _Yesterday before meeting with Lucien…_ **

“I should warn you early on. I’ve seen someone watching your group.”

“What do you mean?”

The man eyed his surroundings first and lowered his voice. “Lyanna, this is an event for people with names and power. And that black haired man and khajiit sticks out like a sore thumb. That’s how I found you.”

“So tell me about this one that’s watching us?” the breton glanced aside but avoided turning her head too much.

“I’ve been here for more than a week. I know there’s one pretending to be a serving lady in the fort. The others I couldn’t tell since they’re disguised in uniforms but I bet there’s many watching everyone who steps inside the fort. But they’re just probably scouting if you’re in anyone’s employ. Best not to get involved with what’s happening.”

** _While following Lucien inside the fort…_ **

Marie leans a bit behind Candle as she pretends to fix the wrappings on her mistress’ bow. “My colleague says we’re being watched.”

“What? Already?” Candle frowns.

“Huh? Did something happen?”

The Nightingale bit her nail but decided against speaking. “I’ll tell you. Meet me in the bathhouse.”

** _Last night right after they settled inside the old guardsmen quarters…_ **

“Lucien’s parents? Those two who we just met? And they want us to do exactly what?”

“Kaidan, calm down.” Candle lifts her hand in a defensive motion. “First we gotta shake off whoever’s watching us or else we’ll blow our covers before we even start working with Lucien’s parents.”

“And how do you plan to do this? How do we know they’re not listening right now?” Rumarin whispers, sending glares over their chamber door. Candle rolls her eyes and chuckles. “I didn’t nag Lucien to get us a room underground for nothing. I’ve checked the area and there’s no windows here. We can talk freely here unless there’s someone outside the door.”

Inigo scouts outside the room and gives a thumbs up back to them. “Door secured. Secret meeting has now begun. What’s the plan?”

“Before we actually discuss anything, I want everyone to do one thing while we’re here.” The woman gathers in her friends and grins wickedly. “Act natural.”

“...”

“.....”

“Wait, you mean like idiots, right?” Rumarin tilted his head aside.

It was a moment of rarity where the woman’s smile was undecipherable.

* * *

** _Present time…_ **

“You really think we’re off their web now?” Kaidan murmured through the mug. “I assure you, it took all of my diplomatic skills to convince my fellow vigilant to give us an extra pair of eyes and ears.” The brunette looked quite accomplished with her successful persuasion.

“Mhmm.. A friend spying for a friend because they are spying for someone else. This is both very confusing and thrilling, I must say. Teehee~” Inigo sniggers in between munches of sweetroll.

“Oh we’re not, but they bought that shit up, alright.” Candle laughs. “Bet they think we’re just hired muscles now.” Everyone here is being careful and smart but that only makes it more obvious they’re taking caution. If the enemy sees that they’re acting like what is expected of them, _ like brutes _, then it’ll lower the guard against them. It’s a gambit but it’s much less likely to give them away compared to if they all behaved themselves. Now it’s confirmed the enemy’s opinion on them has met a pitiful spot, it’s up to them to keep it that low. "I'm actually blown away on how spectacularly natural we are in being fools."

"Keep saying that and I'll have you tied to a chair for the rest of the event." Kaidan hisses with a healthy dose of snark which backfires immediately the moment Candle smirked excitedly at the threat. Dismissing the slight flush creeping up at him, he sends a frosty glare at Inigo instead who was rather looking forward to their next pillow fight. “I’m not complaining but I thought you might want to know I’m getting anxiety from this whole operation.” Rumarin shudders and grabs his pillow. “Can I just step back and leave it to you professional schemers? I don’t feel like working at all. We have less than two days to figure out who’s the enemy.”

“We know! Exciting isn’t it?” Auri pokes the high elf. Well, she's not wrong. Guess it's time to get to the actual work.

Within an hour, the group finalizes their plans including backups and are to set out for different areas in the town for information. They may be going overboard but standing in crowds and waiting until someone slips up will more likely end up with more people lost than saved.

You’re definitely rusty, but you still know how to play this game.

* * *

**Check out this amazingly stunning artwork by [youeggbastard](https://youeggbastard.tumblr.com/) for chapter 055! <3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter whack af lmao I had fun!! If this was confusing or needs some improvement, don't be afraid to give me tips pls! Gods know I could use a lot. XD
> 
> Candle quotes the line from [The Art of War Magic by Zurin Arctus]. :)


	60. Outnumbered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the time ticking, your party has made a move according to plans. And still, no matter how careful one is, the opposition's numbers can be quite overwhelming.

**059**

**Outnumbered**

  
  


“Lend me a hand? It’s stuck on the side.” Kaidan approaches you for his armor. Even within stone walls, he’s easily unsettled going out without a steel around his figure. You help the man untangle the straps holding his chest pieces together. “We got a lot riding on this plan.” He initiates.

“There’s no safe way around this unless they surrender themselves to authority. Sir Davidicus told me even the Jarl’s men have no idea save for a group of faraway shady contacts he’s dealt with before. Thing is, bandits don’t opt for methods like this.”

“I… see. Well now,” his tone lightens up, “it’s a bit curious to hear you all clever and cunning like this.”

“Kaidan. Focus.” You finish tightening the laces, pulling at his waist till you’re only inches apart. “Remember, that Jarl may be replaceable but his death will fuel the Civil War.” That must have caught him unguarded with the way his eyes widened. “Never thought you’d be so invested in politics.”

A crooked smile breaks your sullen feature, “More war is bad for everyone. Also... Get a little more creative.”

First, his eyebrows rise in shock, and drops into a crease within a snap. “You want them to owe us a favor. I thought you’re better than that.” Hearing this, you return the harsh look and immediately step back.

"Listen…"

Try all you will, you can’t really bring yourself to be annoyed with him. He and Inigo value their honor very much but unlike the latter, this man has a more rigid approach. And so you explained to him how saving the Jarl will bring more good for the majority. Getting the ruling power in the region to owe you a favor doesn’t seem so bad either.

“It’s alright that we disagree on this. But it’s not like my sole purpose is to gain something off it. There’s an opportunity for everyone to win. I think that’s worth taking.”

Kaidan drops his argument but is still slightly apprehensive of the idea. “Aye. I see where you’re coming from.” he nods and you bid him good luck for the day. “Just…” He hooks his arm around your shoulder, grabbing you into some sort of awkward hug. “Don’t stick your neck out there too much. The Empire can deal with it if this thing goes south. But nobody can replace you.”

This time, it was your turn to look stupid and question your hearing. Maybe turn a few shades of red as well.

“I’ll see you when the bell rings.” He mutters with finality, ruffling your hair before sending you away with a pat on the back.

For heaven’s sake, focus.

* * *

**[32 hours before the party]**

Auri went on to her planned schedule. Go to the stables and check on their mounts. Hopefully there’ll be more gossip to go around like the day before. Much to her dismay, she wouldn’t be getting much aside from the apothecary finally collapsing of fatigue some time before dusk. Y’ffre, these people gossip a lot don’t they? Ah, it can’t be helped especially if it’s a quaint town.

_ ‘I should visit the apothecary. She could lead me to someone that has information.’ _

And while the bosmer made her way to the shop, the lively halls of the fort were ripe for the picking.

Who better fit this location than a lady who grew up being part of Daggerfall’s high society. You roam the path leading to where the ball would be held, quietly analyzing the surroundings for opportunity. Servants are busying themselves with chores and pretending not to see you enter the vicinity.

“I’m glad you decided to drop by, Candle!” Lucien beamed from ear to ear at the sight of you. He unnecessarily apologized for the center hall still being incomplete but he seems rather fond helping organize the decorations. “I can also drop some recommendations to the chef so Auri doesn’t feel so uninvited tomorrow night.” He whispered and you two shared a giggle.

Pretty soon, the two of you ended up having tea just outside the ballroom. Both locked in a cheery conversation about each other’s upbringing, each question getting more personal.

“Honestly, talking about adventures and travels around campfires are the best..” Lucien says, “..but I never realized how curious I would be about  _ your _ life. You always evaded talking about it so I didn’t pry.” of course he would notice that. The ever curious academic, throwing endless questions when given the chance. Even gotten in on Kaidan’s nerves on more occasions than necessary just to satisfy his thirst for information; why would an attentive lad like him not notice such behaviors. “So,” And why wouldn’t he take advantage of such an opportunity, “while we’re on the subject of family, will you tell me more about your parents? Or do you still have foggy memories of them?” He whispered the last sentence.

“No.. not really. I don’t think there was anymore to it other than them being healers. They were-..  _ We were _ really wealthy as well. Apparently, their hard work paid off, given that they kept getting called by the rich and served in the Great War as well.” You tell him, only pausing for a second or two to make sure you’re not patching a story out of imagination. "After their passing I… Well let's just say I got a lot of time for adventure first." Now that, that was made up.

Another made up story was already in the works but Lucien luckily moves on to a different question. He smooths his thumb on the tip of his chin, "Adventure, hmm. Do you have any particular goal in the end?" Says the lad, blowing the smoke away before sipping.

"Goal?"

"Yes. Like, I don't know, hoard a certain amount of treasure? Discover places? Explore lost dwemer ruins like me?"

"Hahaha,  _ oh dear!  _ I'm sorry. It's not that it's silly, but no, they're too grand for someone like me.. Maybe I just want to finally live at the moment..." you trailed, quite unsure yourself if it was a satisfactory answer for both of you.

Lucien averts his eyes, fixing it on his cup. "Well, maybe there's a lot of time to plan long term goals. Let's start small; how about now, what do you want at this moment?" He asked in a lighter tone, perhaps even jokingly. You look at him for a while, eyeing him up and down for any signs of additional meaning behind the words. Within a minute you answer his question.

"I want to be happy."

"Oh, erm…” His fidgets sheepishly in his seat, “Are you right now?" and is immediately chagrined by his own habit of spitting question after question when he’s fevered to talk.

"I am," You smiled earnestly. "And I'm going to protect my happiness at all costs.” Even Lucien didn't expect an answer like that. But he takes a moment and shares in your buoyant mood.

_ At all costs. _

_ ‘I gotta get something around here at all costs.’  _ Auri bit her lower lip in frustration. Foot tapping lightly on the floorboards of the apothecary while waiting for the owner. They said she went out but the one supposed to watch in her place stepped outside as well. The only one left here is the bosmer they met yesterday.  _ What luck. _ And with the way she acted on their meeting, any chance of idle talk is horrendously blown off.

What is she even doing here? It’s full of dead plants. Disgusting! She’d half the mind to just give in to the building agitation and ask him how he could stand such a nauseating place.  _ ‘He’s not you.’  _ The inner voice timely halts her would-be outburst. That’s right. This bosmer cleaning up in the backroom isn’t doing anything wrong. She’s the outlander here. Running away from a sentence she earned, wishing for judging eyes to stop following her. That’s ironic isn’t it, considering she ridiculed him in the back of her mind the moment she laid eyes on him yesterday. She doesn’t even know if he was a Pact follower or not.

What a hypocrite...  _ Desperately trying to defend the life she betrayed. _

_ ‘SHUT UP!’  _ the voices inside began to clash again for the first time in a while and she instantly gave up trying to figure whom they belonged to. Y’ffre, what she wouldn’t give just to excuse herself from this mental debate.

“...hello?”

The faint whisper came from the only living soul inside the store.

“Yes. Sorry?” Auri squeaks, making the other bosmer flinch back. “Uhm.. You don’t have to stand around while waiting. The stools are for customers.” He waved nonchalantly and went back sweeping the floor. “You might want to come back later, though. The assistant here went out with a blue khajiit. Important talk, she says. Or whatever.” mumbled out the male elf who’s clearly uninterested.

Blue khaj—Inigo! Auri cursed in her mind, sending the quiet elf a small wave and an even smaller thanks as she removes herself from these halls of nightmare.

**[31 hours before the party]**

“I wouldn’t know about what those barmaids are gushing about. I did try getting some gossip so I would at least have an idea of the happenings in this town but they just told me to bugger off.” Vilja vented out while Inigo busied himself on a sweetroll they bought for each other. She talked about the town’s mood, nearly every big name that arrived since she started working here, how the kitchen servants would complain of ‘having eaten too many pies’, the guards in the fort changes assignment every three days, all while complaining she feels out of the loop just because she gets little to no gossip from the folks. It’s good they’re under a tree’s shade or they’ll be burnt by the time Vilja’s done.

“I think you don’t really need gossip to keep you up to speed at this point,” Inigo bursts into a belly laugh. Just hearing how much she goes around and catch these details on her own, she’ll definitely make a good spy if it weren’t for her mouth. Woman definitely knows enough to mark her suspicious but he believes the nord’s innocence. “I’d advise you to be careful, though. Some people might mistake you for the wrong one.” He says.

“Ah leave them! I’ve been mistaken a lot of times. I believe it’s because of my hair. Blasted, can’t they understand not every blonde woman is a nord? Some people, I swear!”

That’s not what Inigo meant but maybe it’s for the best. “Erm.. H-how about  _ that _ guy in the fort? Have you delivered the potions?”

Vilja’s eyes widened a bit and she shushed the khajiit. “Don’t ask things like that in the open! Oh.. But yeah. Mistress handled it all. I don’t want to play more part in it.” She sighed, “Even the mistress got so tired running all the errands alone. Would you believe she collapsed..” and as Vilja went on and on, something piqued Inigo’s interests.

“Hooded person?”

“Yeah, my friend Gael, the bosmer? He saw a hooded person go out of the shop and immediately jumped to suspicions, can you believe it? Ha~” Vilja laughed out. Though she didn't understand why Inigo had to depart right away, she did send her regards to the mystery woman he has yet to introduce to her.

When the blonde woman approached him for a chat, he worried he'd be getting nothing but it was the opposite. Candle needs to know. Inigo strode back to the fort in hopes of passing the information.  _ 'This place is really confusing…'  _ he grumbled to himself as he searched which corner to turn next. Just then, a chill ran on the back of his neck and he turned to the hall leading down the underground.

A dunmer lady dressed as a kitchen servant is looking directly at him. Sporting a smile as creepy as she looks, there's no way this woman isn't a suspect. The first step Inigo took prompts the woman to head downstairs. How obvious does she want this trap to be!?

Still, it gave Inigo pause. He's forced to consider the present options. Candle should still be accompanying Lucien until the bell rings and going straight to her might get Lucien tagged. If he follows the dunmer, he'll be walking straight into a trap but given their plans, he might be the only one with a chance of identifying the culprit.

Biting in, he shifts toward the stairway and followed suit.

* * *

** _Helgen’s Marketplace…_ **

He planned to stay longer in the tavern, knowing how loudmouthed or loose lipped drunkards and wenches are… but after realizing how much attention his small fame warranted, Kaidan decided it’s for the best that he leave the slowly gathering crowd.

_ Champion of Helgen _ has a nice ring to it, he admits. Genuine smiles and people reunited. He was part of the work that made it possible. Getting called by that title was an everlasting proof that for once in his wretched existence, he brought some good to this world. Not enough to atone for everything he did in the cult but it’s a start of something…

_ ‘Snap out of it.’  _ He scolded himself. This was no time to relish in such notions. Thinking of his original purpose, since the tavern would be crossed out of his list, the woman working in the apothecary may be helpful. Vilja, was it? Crimson eyes analyzed the surroundings, looking towards the general direction of his target store. Instead, it fell on a single soldier sauntering in the same direction. Something about the way he walks just seemed off. And the blonde girl making her way to the store...

The blonde girl..

Panic surges through his bones, prompting him to burst into a sprint.

...

“Come on, Inigo…” The bosmer looked around impatiently. How is it that he isn’t standing out when he should? She's been searching this town for nearly half an hour. A single scream captures the town’s attention and Auri was not one to fall behind.

_ "Help!" _

_ "What do you think you're doing!? Argh—" _

She followed the commotion back to the apothecary. Wait, that’s Kaidan! The damn fool; way to be subtle and whatnot! Why is he scuffling with a guard— _ a guard _ of all people. Refraining from throwing her hands in frustration, Auri steps back with a grimace instead. Are they all so incompetent for this job? Hopefully, those she hasn’t seen since morning have been getting actual results than she and this big brute.

“What is it? No way, that guard tried to attack that woman..”

“She can’t be suspicious, she even brewed my son a potion the other day.”

“Did you get a look? That guard must be mistaking that woman for someone else.”

Word spread quickly amongst the people. Not like it matters who’s at fault if Kaidan’s already compromised. Shaking her head, the bosmer spots someone by her peripheral. One dark elf was running, which shouldn’t be surprising. What gave them away was the troubled look and the stain of blood on their footwear. With all this excitement, passersby will surely miss it; yes, even the guards whose attention got reeled in by the fight.

Trusting the sudden drop in her gut, the bosmer pursues her newfound target outside the city.

* * *

** _Helgen’s fort…_ **

“Phew! That chandelier got me nervous.” Lucien chuckled with you. After supervising the servants for a time, the imperial boy decided to leave it there for now so the two of you can rejoin the others for lunch. “We’ll be a bit early but it’ll give us time to stroll about if you want.” he generously offered.

“That’s very sweet, Lucien. I guess we have time.”

Lucien beams up, “Ah! Marvelous. Let’s head to your room for the sack. You’ll never know what oddities will catch your eye.” he searches for the keys as you two made your way to the underground.

“So… I can’t say I fully understand what happened but I’m glad you got most of your memories back.” He starts softly, almost whispering. “I wonder if our parents ever met. You did say they worked in the Great War as well.”

“Perhaps. I doubt they’ll know each other, though.” You shrugged.

“Haha, of course. It doesn’t matter whether our paths have crossed earlier or not. All I know is that your parents must have been really wonderful to have raised someone as kind as you.” His compliment didn’t fall flat as you returned it with a bashful smile; which made him sheepish as a result.

There’s that word again. Kind. “If you really think it’s fitting…” You muttered under your breath. “Ah, nevermind. But, yea, they are. Mom and dad did their best. The work they had was never easy. Or the prettiest. Still, they kept going for the people.” You tell the scholar, scouring your mind for clearer pictures. A huge temple. There were lots of crying and moaning and whimpering. Mother and father looked weary but the fire in their eyes was yet to be extinguished. Bloodied aprons. Dark room. Someone was there… a witch—no. You shake your head, this isn’t where you’re supposed to wander back.

“My parents were oozing with determination. They wanted to help as much as they could. Status, wealth, race, even if it were the Emperor himself. It didn’t matter once they stepped inside the temple. Everyone was equal. Everyone deserves to keep their life, they told me-..”

_ You... just how far have you fallen... _

“Hm?” Lucien stops and turns around when he notices you frozen in place. “Um.. Did you forget something?” He was kind enough to mask his concern.

“...Sorry. I'm not good at talking about them extensively.” you finished your sentence. Lucien didn’t say anything else regarding the obvious tremble in your voice but instead put on a heart warming smile of his. “Don’t worry, Candle. You don’t have to say more. I know they're good people just by looking at you. Yep!” He washes the weight away without effort. My, but he is now less daft than when you first met him.

Gently, you reached to pat his head, catching the imperial off guard. “H-huh, what? What is it??” He squeaks, utterly floored by the gesture.

“You remind me of Lyanna's brother. Thank you."

"Brother..? That's a good thing! Remembering is good, right?"

“Maybe not everything…”

Lucien’s eyes widened in intrigue, “Ooh. Do you think the bad memories are  _ that  _ bad?”

You felt your own shoulders drop along the warmth of your smile. “It’s just I don’t know how I’ll react to it. What if…” it felt like your voice was being sucked out, “What if I remember and both of us were wrong? What happens to Inigo?”

The few seconds of silence was overwhelmingly crushing until Lucien finally croaked out a response. “...Pardon?” His chirpiness dissipates when you shoved him on the wall before making a turn.

You're almost near the room but seeing it slightly ajar flips over your guard up. You asked Lucien who else has the key to the guest room and he confirms that only he and Kaidan had copies of it, unless it was a guard who opened the room.

_ ‘Just as I thought. But Kaidan said he’ll be waiting by the tavern. Tsk, I’ll most likely blow my cover if I check the room.’ _ You scouted the empty hallway for any more movements. The ruse wasn’t supposed to last anyway but getting marked this soon…  _ ‘Wait. We went here on our own accord. Us appearing here won’t be part of their plan.’  _ Hurriedly, you pushed Lucien a few strides back.

“Lucien, I need help. Get some of your parent’s security here but have a servant call them.”

“What. W-what do you mea—”

“LUCIEN.” You gripped his shoulders, shaking him lightly, “Whatever you do, you’re  _ not _ involved in this. Promise you’ll trust me?”

“But I-”

“I got this.” Pleading, begging, threatening. He can read it whatever he wants to so long as he steers clear of suspicion. Nodding hesitantly, the boy runs in a hurry. “Right then…” You stalked back quietly, “Time to greet the visitor.”

* * *

** _Helgen’s Local Tavern..._ **

“Pfft. Milk drinker.” A local snidely remarked just as he passed by the elf’s table. The bosmer didn’t respond, “Hey, mind your own drink.” but the altmer beside him did. The man didn’t bite the provocation but Rumarin was pretty sure he hissed at them before walking away.

“Maaan, locals here just tend to nitpick on everyone’s choice of beverage.” He sighed, leaning back to his chair. The tavern was getting crowded by the minute. Better enjoy the proper ventilation before it gets congested.

“Mister, I don’t want to be rude, but what are you doing here?” The ginger haired bosmer swilled his tiny cup. He sounded way too exhausted to just tell the high elf to skedaddle.

“Like I said, I’m undercover.” Rumarin fiddled with his robes’ fitting.

“And so was the redhead bosmer lady earlier, what I meant is what are  _ you  _ doing  _ here _ .” The young mer raises his tone a bit, “This is my table and I don’t know you.” he points his fork at Rumarin before sticking it to the slice of salmon he’s eating. Rumarin himself looked equally surprised and amused. “Which is exactly why I’m here. We know you were with that girl Vilja, I was gonna try and ask where she is. Didn’t know that runt beat me to it, uh- no offense.” He raises an apologetic hand to which Gael shrugs nonchalantly. “I guess I could slack off till lunch. Don’t worry, we can pretend neither of us exist. Deal?” The high elf lazily brought a thumbs up only to find the other guy already going about his day like this conversation never took place.

What is it with spreading out but aiming to get in contact with the same woman? Do they share a hive mind, huh?  _ ‘No wait, that would be awkward. And mortifying. If even one of them knew what I do on my private tim—’ _

_ ‘Something is very wrong with this guy.’ _ Gael munched silently as he watched the altmer fidget in his own seat.  _ ‘HUH, wait don’t tell me this guy is getting uncomfortable trying to ignore me. Wasn’t he the one who proposed it in the first place?’  _ The bosmer held back every bit of urge to react. No way he’s gonna lose it from this guy.  _ WHAT IN OBLIVION IS HE SO UNEASY ABOUT?? _

“Oi, you!” One of the laborers called him from across the room. Gael nearly bounced off his chair from getting yanked into the spotlight all of a sudden. “You work with that lady in the apothecary right? You better help her, she’s in some kind of trouble!”

Gael knew it was too bothersome to work with Vilja, that he shouldn’t really be surprised, yet still he dashed across the crowded room in a few strides, caring very little for what he left behind on the table.

“Well now.” Rumarin glanced back and forth to the direction he fled off a few times before picking up the coin purse under the table. “Looks like I won’t have to pay for my lunch later.” grins the high elf.

* * *

_ **Helgen's fort...** _

Pain wracked all over his body. Every nerve, every limb, his senses were slowly leaving and he couldn’t move. All he felt is the stone cold floor on his cheek, and a weighted boot on his chest. Inigo expected an ambush of some sort but that was his mistake. He should’ve thought about it more. The woman didn’t even have to touch him. When he saw their door unlocked, he mindlessly stepped inside, unknowingly submitting himself to a petrifying ward that was placed on the ground.

“ _ Tsk, tsk. _ How much of an open book are you? Even a child could read your moves.” the dunmer slid down her hood, gloating over her catch. “That blonde girl’s mouth did have its uses, after all. Thanks to her, luring you here was easier.”

“W-What would.. killing the jarl.. be good for..” Inigo managed through gritted teeth. She lifted her foot from Inigo and twirled a short lock of black hair on her finger, “I’m afraid I couldn’t care less about the jarl. I’m here for you…” grins the elf deviously, “Or rather, that dear friend of yours. But damn that woman!” She curses, muttering to herself as she brings out a vial and a dagger. “Too smart to get her alone. I can’t believe I’m resorting to taking hostages. Uncle Dalamus better have someone take over this after I bring this cat over.”

_ ‘This woman… she’s not on either side? What is her role in this!? She’s after my friend!’ _ Inigo set his mind and body once more into struggling free off the spell but to no avail. He couldn’t even feel it when the woman tossed him over, a coated blade in her hand ready to sink in on his flesh.

Just then, the door crashes open and the dark elf held up a hand charged with deadly magic towards it. But there was no one outside. Still, she knew better than to lower her guard. Her ears twitched at the slightest fizzle; a sudden concentration of magicka— _ beneath her! _ Ice shards quickly sprouted around her feet, though she managed to break-free before it permanently solidified. It’s definitely not the khajiit’s doing. Where is it? Who’s—

_ “HGHK—!” _

The dark elf felt something quickly tightening around her neck; strangling and lifting her above ground with every intent to squeeze the life out of her. “Shit!” The dunmer grits out, wheezing and clawing at the invisible thing coiled around her neck.

“I don’t fucking remember inviting you to our pillow fights.” the growl came from a seething woman; a mystifying type of magic unveiled her shadowy cloak. The dunmer’s arms fell limp as Candle gripped harder.

A surprise kick in the ribs allowed the enemy freedom and she went for the discarded dagger beside Inigo. The breton didn’t let up and pulled the blade with magicka, a mistake she soon realized when the stranger let go of the blade and it flew with much force towards Candle’s hand. The cut elicited a sharp cry but she was still able to block the dunmer’s incoming jabs. Seeing an opening, Candle catches the dark elf’s leg and dug her fingers on the wound her ice shard left earlier, causing the stranger to howl out as they break contact.

With a few breaths in, the breton soon notices the blur in her vision. She takes a look at the slice on her hand and sees familiar lines of black and blue rapidly spreading. Candle takes in a deep breath and raises her fists.

“Your poison spreads fast. Bet I can take you down faster.”

The dunmer grimaces at her target, “I admire your confidence. But I don’t like it.” she takes a tiny vial and smashes it on the ground, immediately filling the room with thick smoke.

“HEY!..  _ cough! ..cough!  _ Damn it!” Candle’s vision began to swim when she inhaled some. Another poison, that bitch is well prepared. She channelled her anger and in one fell swoop, released a wave of magic to clear out the mist. The stranger wasn’t there anymore. Only the damage of their fight remained and her paralyzed friend.

* * *

Hallowed breaths echoed around the stone walls. “She’s deadlier than they told me. Damn it.” The dunmer moaned in pain. She’d applied small healing on the wound but that’s as far as her skills go. If it weren’t for all her escape tools, she’d be dead by now. The stranger takes out a needle, one of last resorts. Since the plan to lure out the healers’ daughter wasn’t working, she had to take in a hostage and the first one she saw was the khajiit. “I need a distraction.” She mumbled, looking out the nearby exit for a single soldier she can manipulate. Once she got her hands on one, she need but only whisper her command after the potion’s taken effect. “Kill the apothecary’s assistant.” She said. The girl who knows too much has served her purpose. Loose ends or not the nord already knew something of her presence here. She would have  _ “thanked”  _ her personally but can’t with the current condition.

After hearing the commotion start, the dunmer willed herself to hurry out to the town gates. Unbeknownst to her that she had attracted the eyes of a skeptic bosmer.

She only got a few meters into the forest when a rock hit her back. “What the-” another rock flies through a few inches across her face.

“The next one won’t miss!” Auri warns from behind, tossing the rocks on her palm. “You really think you wouldn’t stand out with all the blood you’re leaving?” she studies the dark elf with a squint, “Tell me who you’re working for and I’ll go easy on you.”

“ _ Peh! _ You think you can take a mage like me with just rocks?”

“I have  _ more _ than these, scum!” Auri hisses, throwing the stones with deadly accuracy as she brings out her claws to tackle the stranger. Her continuous assault made it hard for the dunmer to cast a proper spell and their fight dragged on long enough for an ally to appear.

“Auri!” Marie gasps, quickly sending a wave of energy to throw off the enemy’s footing. With combined help, they take down the suspicious character in no time.

“Well that didn’t take long.” Auri dusts off her hands, “Best you spill out who’s behind the order. You’ll end up confessing one way or another.”

“No need. She’s not part of either side.” the vigilant grimaced. The dunmer didn’t fight back, “Dagon’s curse on both of you, pigs!” she spat, earning a backhand from Marie. The bosmer looked just as baffled by the exchange. “Not part of.. what do you mean, friend?”

The vigilant takes her murderous gaze off from their captive and looks Auri dead in the eyes, “She’s a filthy cultist. One that targets my lady—ARGH!!” the conversation was disrupted by a bolt piercing through the brunette’s leg. A few more were shot but they both manage to avoid most.

“Reveal yourselves!” Auri commanded, biting down the pain caused by a silver bolt on her shoulder. Even the dark elf took one on her arm. “Bloody-! Fucking pigs! I’m not dying here like this!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, ripping out a portal from a scroll and crawled into it.

“No!”

“Auri don’t-!” the vigilant warned. “Let her portal back to the cave she came from. We can’t take them all with just us.” Marie explained within labored breaths. Right now, they have a different enemy.

Out from the bushes and trees came forth a swarm of ruffians. “The other one escaped, huh. We’ll just have to take these two back to the shack.” The leader spoke. Some of them were dressed as fort servants. A few they’ve exchanged glances during their stay. It was just as Candle predicted. But damn it, getting found out this way wasn’t part of the plan.

* * *

_ **Helgen's Marketplace...** _

People were cheering and celebrating by the time Rumarin decided to follow outside. Not that it piqued his interests, he was just curious what the fuss was all about. “He saved the girl.” He heard them say. Some soldier went too far on barking at a local maybe? The high elf scooted around and squeezed between people only to see a most befuddling scene ever since the daedra took over Candle back in Camlorn.

Kaidan was being smothered with praise and compliment by the townsfolk all while a guard was being attended by the other soldiers in the back.

“Hello, excuse me, yes. What is going on here?” He asked the  _ Champion of Helgen _ , sending his eyebrows to the heavens if it were possible.

“He saved me! Oh, he really is brave! I knew it since we first met.” Vilja hopped and clapped and bowed endlessly before the swordsman, claiming he saved her from being murdered. Gael could be seen from behind, pulling Vilja away with an exasperated look on his face.

“What..?” The high elf echoed as if she spoke to them in a different language.

“Uhh.. I don’t think I’m sure of what happened either. The guard suddenly snapped out of it. Was all confused of what’s happening and all that. It’s not right.” Kaidan scratches his neck, sending the guards a worried glance.

The low ringing of the bell catches their attention.

**[30 hours before the party]**

The two of them stood by and shared information as they waited for the others. Well, it’s mostly Kaidan laying it down for the bladebinder who hasn’t gotten anything interesting from the whole morning experience.

“Oh. It’s Lucien.” Rumarin points out in the distance. They would’ve put on a happy face to greet him with, yet the closer he got, the worse news his expression foretold.

“Hey, you big oaf. Where are the others?”

“...Hate to say it, toad lips. Just ready yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Owwie I'm not slacking~ but I'm guilty I forgot about the fic for a while OTL Sorry for the wait, I also tried something with this chapter! Do tell me if it felt confusing or if there is something I can improve on, I'm very open to tips! :D Q_Q


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